15 Posts That Show Grandparents Are Pure and Good

If you are lucky enough to have grandparents in your life (or your kids have your parents), then you know how amazing inter-generational relationships can be. My maternal grandfather was one of my favorite people in the world, and my other three grandparents were all amazing people I was lucky to know into my young adulthood.

These 15 posts only bolster my point, y’all, because the grandparents who inspired them are 100% gold.

15. I’m seriously impressed.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

14. And that’s the story of why he went out to buy new shirts.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

13. She snitched in a dream. Ha!

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

12. What a meet-cute this is!

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

11. MY EYES.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

10. I think it looks lovely on him.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

9. Seriously adorable.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

8. That old charmer.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

7. She’s not wrong.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

6. You cannot freak an old man out like that!

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

5. Said without a trace of shame, I’m sure.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

4. She just couldn’t call him Richard.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

3. You never know when your past deeds are going to come back to haunt you – or the opposite.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

2. I definitely won’t die with this regret.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

1. Just in case you didn’t know…

Posted by Thunder Dungeon on Monday, November 4, 2019

I’m off to Facetime my own grandma, because even though she’s 96, she still uses her cell phone.

Boom.

What’s your favorite grandparent story? We’d love to hear it!

The post 15 Posts That Show Grandparents Are Pure and Good appeared first on UberFacts.

Enjoy Some of the Best Sex and Dating Tweets from the Last Decade

Relationships can be complicated, dramatic, and messy, but they can also be wonderful and fulfilling at the same time.

Real talk: we’re all obsessed with sex and love, so why deny it?

Let’s enjoy some tweets that went viral in a huge way.

1. There’s a scoreboard.

2. Looking to impress exactly one person.

3. Very specific.

4. Sounds very proper.

5. Thanks a lot…

6. Not like that.

7. A real romantic.

8. We’re really doing it!

9. You’re pretty much single.

10. You’re in too deep now.

11. Are you uncomfortable yet?

12. Yup, it’s dead.

13. Looking for some to do NOTHING with.

14. Well, this is a first.

15. Three stages of life.

Funny stuff, no doubt about it!

The post Enjoy Some of the Best Sex and Dating Tweets from the Last Decade appeared first on UberFacts.

Cuffing Season Is Here…Let’s Check out Some Tweets About It

Are you aware of “cuffing season“? It’s when people who are usually single or unattached get into a relationship during those long, cold, gray months of fall and winter.

Who doesn’t want someone to snuggle with someone by a fire when it’s freezing outside, right?

Enjoy these cuffing season tweets and keep warm out there!

1. It’s gonna be cold!

2. Getting into a bad relationship?

3. It’s worth it, right?

4. There you go!

5. “I need a place to crash…”

6. I thought the same thing.

7. The more you know.

8. Here comes the storm.

9. A sad reminder.

10. You know you’re gonna do it…

11. He’s not having it.

12. Here come the fireworks.

13. Who can resist?

14. We have a winner!

15. She knows what she wants.

Are you one of these folks? Are you a cuffer?

Share you stories in the comments!

The post Cuffing Season Is Here…Let’s Check out Some Tweets About It appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Weird Things They Do with Their Significant Others

People are strange. Really strange, actually.

Especially when people are in relationships. Then they get really weird with all the little quirks that they share with a significant other.

AskReddit users share the weird things they like to do with their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, etc.

Share yours in the comments!

1. The Kiss Monster.

“We have a ‘Kiss Monster’ (spoiler alert: it’s me with a blanket over my head), that visits my SO every now and gives him loads of kisses before slinking off again into the night.

We have never acknowledged that I am in fact, the Kiss Monster.”

2. Okay…

“We do ‘inverted kissing’. Instead of kissing the lips, one of us surprises the other by opening their mouth big and covering the other party’s puckered up lips.

It’s like kissing the void. It feels really fucking uncomfortable and it’s hilarious. She always does it to me when I’m expecting a kiss.

Bonus points if you can kiss the void for over 5 seconds or have your open mouth over their mouth for a long time. We discovered this when I jokingly opened my mouth during a kiss and she started laughing and going ‘noooo’.”

3. Welcome home!

“My wife usually gets home before I do from work and as soon as I enter she comes to me and we both do a little dance while singing an bollywood song “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” (My love has reached home). And, then we hug and greet.

Its a little thing which has turned into some sort of ritual. We love it!

One day I rang the bell, before she unlocked the door she asks.. “whats the password?”

I replied in a low tone “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” in the same tune. She was expecting me to say something “clever” but she enjoyed the song even more because I have a bad voice.”

4. I love to annoy you!

“We often just stand in each other’s way for no reason other than to be annoying.”

5. Bread games.

“Well, I just wrapped her up in a brown blanket, rolled her back and forth in bed and told her “Shhhhh be bread, it’s okay, just be bread, shhhh, loaf-girlfriend, it’s okay to become bread” while she cackled and screamed “I DON’T WANT TO BE BREAD.””

6. Just like pro wrestling.

“My ex used to want me to body slam her onto the bed all the time.”

7. True artists.

“Penis drawings. I don’t remember who started it but we hide the same penis drawing for the other one to find. She put it in my suitcase when I went away on a hunting trip with my buddies and I had to explain why I had a crudely drawn wang on a sheet of notebook paper packed with my socks.

When I returned I hid in the bottom of her underwear drawer and it took her a few months to find it. She then hid it somewhere and I haven’t found it yet, that was five years ago. She told me I’ll find it eventually but I’m afraid of where it might be. I have told her that if she dies before me that she is getting buried with it and I win.”

8. Let’s see who’s more dominant.

“We sneak up on each other and bite each other on the neck to assert “dominance”. We use the “dominance” to win trivial arguments like who do our animals love more.”

9. Time to clean up.

“While we’re in the shower he’ll cover his body with soap, wrap his arms around me, and then go up and down really fast so he’s rubbing the soap all over me and cleaning me off. We call this “Carl wash” cause its like a car wash for me, but my nick name is Carl n he’s washing me off hehe.”

10. A decade in the making.

“We have a mating dance that has gotten increasingly elaborate in the decade we have been together. Example moves: slapping one’s own butt, moving one’s arms like a choo choo train, one handed clapping.

Some of the moves go out of fashion year to year, but we have a significant repertoire.”

11. Gross and weird.

“Sometimes he puts his mouth over my nose and blows, causing me to make a horrific, monstrous sound of air coming through my nasals and out of my mouth. We call this The Exorcism.

It’s gross and weird but I love that we can be gross and weird together.”

12. Would you kindly…

“We have the WYK rule. If one of us says, “would you kindly blah blah blah” the other one must, no matter what, do that thing. There is zero negotiation. It’s mostly whipped out for benign stuff, sometimes for very silly stuff, but occasionally used in serious situations. It’s equal parts silly, fake outage, and a deep, committed trust. It only works because we trust each other not to abuse WYK or use it for evil.”

13. It gets intense?

“Sometimes when I answer the phone I become Detective Tony Pepperoni, and he’s Cheesy Steve and the Saucy Boys. There’s never really any warning, it just kinda happens and it gets pretty intense.”

14. This is a real competition.

“Straight up wrestle for fun. Not like sexy way or the cute let the other one win way, but like actual competition.”

15. This is kinda cool

What started as a simple whistle to get the others attention has turned into a full blown second language consisting of nothing but whistles. ‘Hello’ is a simple high tone whistle followed by a slightly lower tone whistle. To properly say ‘hello’ back you must respond with an even higher pitched whistle sequence or a slightly lower pitched sequence.

‘Warning:danger or distress’ is three high pitched whistles. A sad whistle is one that starts high then quickly goes to a low tone.

We’ve legit had phone conversations where we whistle at each other and laugh for 10 minutes. We thought we were insane (still are but) until realizing there are cultures out there that whistle poetry to each other and that whistling may have been the first way peeps communicated with each other.

Edit: alright well this blew up. The best way to describe it as some of you have is R2D2 language, which is hilariously accurate

The list of whistling we do is never-ending and the language becomes more advanced by the day, but my favorite whistle is ‘accomplishment whistle’ which is a high pitched ‘doo-doo DOO’ or the spooky whistle demonstrated here

The post People Share Weird Things They Do with Their Significant Others appeared first on UberFacts.

These Interesting Facts Might Make You Say ‘Wait, What?’

WOW.

These facts are good. Damn good, if I do say so myself.

I think you’ll agree.

Go ahead and see for yourself…

1. There’s something out there…

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

2. That sounds nice right about now.

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

3. I’m in big trouble.

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

4. They are definitely real.

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2

5. Gotta pay your dues.

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2

6. Yes! More of this!

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2

7. A legend.

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

8. Gettin’ it on!

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2

9. That makes perfect sense.

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

10. Does this pertain to you?

Photo Credit: did you know?

Source 1 Source 2

Are you wowed? Like, majorly wowed?

I think you are…thanks for stopping by!

The post These Interesting Facts Might Make You Say ‘Wait, What?’ appeared first on UberFacts.

Enjoy These Anxiety Memes About Anxiety That Won’t Make You More Anxious

It’s time to just calm down already, put that anxiety aside and just BREATHE.

Phew… that was nice. Because that’s all it takes. Thinking about it.

HA!

No… just a long, cleansing breath in… and then out. Let that anxiety just melt away.

Okay, now on to these memes. Those should help too!

1. All day. All night.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

2. What even is reality anymore?!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

3. Agreed.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

4. Oh! That’s all I had to do?!?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

5. Do that thing!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

6. Yes, that’ll do it!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

7. OMFG…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

8. What happened?!?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

9. Not so fast…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

10. Never go to sleep right away. Ever.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

11. Oh, I’m you alright…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

Well, how do you feel? Anxious as always. I knew it!

Okay, share how you feel in the comments anyway. Anxious or otherwise. Because we actually DO care about you. For reals.

The post Enjoy These Anxiety Memes About Anxiety That Won’t Make You More Anxious appeared first on UberFacts.

Gen X’ers Will Appreciate These Memes More Than Napster

ALL of the talk right now is about boomers and millennials because they’re fighting. Which is fine. You all do your thing and we’ll just sticking around, minding our own business, making fat stacks and reading memes.

I mean… remember when music and movies were free on the internet because we were LITERALLY stealing them? And we thought that would keep going?

Yeah, you remember… and these memes will bring all those good times flooding back.

1. Wait… WUT?!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

2. Them were them dayz

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

3. And were they even taken out of class??

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

4. Good lord…

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

5. Sleeves = Class

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

6. It’s on!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

7. That Atari life!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

8. OMFG!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

9. Oh yes.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

10. Oh… am I interrupting the class with my FRIES?!?!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

11. You’ll never know…

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

How much did you relate to these memes? If you said, “A LOT!” then you are definitely Generation X. Like, full on Gen Xer.

Got any awesome memes you want to share with us? Leave them in the comments!

The post Gen X’ers Will Appreciate These Memes More Than Napster appeared first on UberFacts.

A Guys Got the Silent Treatment from His Fiancée After Spending $5k on Surgery to Save His Dog

Relationships can be tricky and that goes double for the moment you realize that your money is now our money. That means you need to discuss before you make decisions with it.

A fact that Unsurebigbig3 found out the hard way after he shelled out $5k for his dog’s cancer treatment without discussing it with his bride-to-be.

She got angry, he’s upset – no one is happy.

What do you think about the situation?

My Fiancée isn’t speaking to me after I used “our” money to help my dog. Not sure not to fix this? from relationship_advice

Now, I love dogs as much as the next person, and if I had the money sitting in the bank to save or extend my pupper’s life, you’d better believe I would use it. And the fact that she’s thinking more about the money than the dog’s life makes me absolutely dislike her.

That said, we’re only getting his side of the story, here, and there are red flags on his end, too – like the fact that he didn’t include her in the decision, and that he takes the time to point out that he saves much more money than she does.

So, what do you think? Was he wrong? Was she?

Do they both suck?

Most people tend to fall on the “you both kind of suck and you probably need counseling before marriage.”

I can get on board with that, though I do also question marrying someone who is going to use the silent treatment as a fighting tactic…

Because you’re probably hoping to marry an adult and not a psychological child.

What do you think? Should he marry her? Should she split? Are they going to make it?

The post A Guys Got the Silent Treatment from His Fiancée After Spending $5k on Surgery to Save His Dog appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Men Share the Moment They Knew They Wanted a Divorce

Marriage is tough, and the truth is (at least in my experience) that not everyone gets it right on the first (or second) try. It stands to reason, then, that there’s a moment for many of us when we realized that staying married to the person sharing our lives and our beds just wasn’t going to be an option.

If you’re curious what puts men over the edge in a relationship, well, these 15 guys are down to share.

15. I bet he wishes he could take the $15k back.

Not me, but one of my best friends(got his permission to post). He got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife’s Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (~$14,700) and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed (~$300).

Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up, and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts.

Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few times items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked “did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one btw) and you only got me a few things?”

At that point, his brother in law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce.

14. That’ll do it.

When a friend’s wife said to me “You know your wife is sleeping with my husband.”

13. Too bad you couldn’t take your stepdaughter with you.

When my stepdaughter became a teenager, my ex ramped up the nutso. She had always been an impatient, angry screamer of a parent. But as my stepdaugher became a young woman, my ex just went crazy with envy or something. I know lots of moms have a hard time with teenage daughters, but their base level patience is so much better than my ex’s was. Threats of cutting hair in middle of night while daughter slept, pulling hair, slapping face, ridiculing in front of her friends, swinging something that missed and put a hole in the wall – I was out, with the kids.

12. Second chances should be more than enough.

I was working on a mother daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. Was going through her Google photos account looking for pics of them together. Came across a selfie she took with some dude laying on her. Confirmed her second affair. Knew it was over the moment I saw it. That has fucked me up pretty good.

11. I would have gone for the drama and the free drinks.

We flew across the country for her sister’s wedding. She didn’t say a word to me the entire time since we had parked at the airport. Once we landed at our destination, we walked to baggage claim (absolute silence preceding for several hours now). At the carousel, I picked up her bag when she took it out of my hand and calmly stated, “None of my family knows you’re here–I told them I came alone.” She walked out of the airport and left me there.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder made for some really fun scenarios.

10. He’s got some great friends.

When my buddies approached me to complain that she kept sitting on their laps, wiggling, and hoping for an erection.

9. Not that he needed permission, but.

When she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her.

The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying. He gave me a “You should leave this relationship” look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn’t making the wrong decision. Got divorced and never looked back.

I legitimately feared for my safety towards the end — not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend.

Edit: shortened the story

8. That’s a big ol’ yikes.

The morning I saw a picture of some dudes dick on her phone. She was classy enough to bring him to the divorce proceedings…

7. It’s hard to watch people make your kids feel like that.

My wife was around less & less…had to be free to live her life, go out with her friends. More often than not she would call me to pick our daughter up from daycare, after promising to pick her up & have some girl time…..just tell her I’m working late or not feeling well. She always had something better to do & the kids were old enough to know better. I went to pick our daughter up one day, when they called her name she came running over until she saw it wasn’t mom, again, slumped her shoulders & slowly walked over to ask “what’s her excuse this time?” That was the breaking point, told her to get out, even helped pay her security deposit to get her out.

6. It’s okay to be happily divorced.

During the last year and a half of our marriage she became extremely psychologically abusive. She was a narcissist, controlled my every move, would isolate me, refused physical contact, I was just an extension to her life, was not allowed to talk to any female, was not allowed to hang out with any friends or she would ignore me for up to 5 days at a time, double standards everywhere, verbal abuse and the list can continue but it hurts to think about. The last straw for me was when she threatened to kill me because I came home from work late even though she knew I would be home late. It was just a little too late for her and she also threatened to hit me the same day. This was the second time this happened and I talked with several people at work about it and they suggested that I run. I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week. She agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn’t. Thankfully no children and it was a clean divorce and I’m happily divorced.

5. A good deal for whom, exactly?

I was a Lance Corporal bringing home scraps for a paycheck to an unemployed wife who one day brought home a brand new Lexus IS350 because she “got a good deal on it.” Apparently I was supposed to pay the $800/mo bill. I didn’t think it was a good deal.

4. Poor little dear.

She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls’ night out.
Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair. (I can math, and she can’t). It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day, and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff’s notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days.
I never knew she could be that stupid.

3. This one has to win some kind of award.

When she staged a robbery of our house so she could pawn all of my shit for drug money.

2. Oprah always knows best.

she made me watch Oprah and there was a quiz. Is Your Marriage Okay or not type thing. In my head I saw 7 or 10 items that were Not Okay. She didn’t see any. We had already been to counseling.

1. Shenanigans are overrated.

When she presented a picture of our four-year-old daughter and me laying next to each other on the couch watching Blues Clues to our marriage counselor as evidence of my “inappropriate conduct” around our kids.

Thank God he saw right through that bullshit immediately and told her to knock it off.

Edit: There is no Joe. #notmySteve

Edit 2: Many asked, so here’s the deal. We’ve been divorced almost five years now. The process wasn’t fair, but that wasn’t really my ex’s fault. No allegations of child abuse or misconduct were brought up against me during the proceedings, so that was good. They wouldn’t have flown for a minute in court anyway.

Our kids are older now and every day are becoming better equipped to see and understand the difference between what’s reasonable and right and what’s simply just batshit insane–and it’s not working out all that well for their mother, who hasn’t changed her MO much if at all since we parted ways. So it goes.

I’m happily remarried now to a woman with kids of her own–kids who were friends and schoolmates of MY kids before she and I even got to know each other. They’re all OUR kids now. Life is good. No more shenanigans.

Those are some doozies that I have no idea how they could have come back from, so yeah. Probably a good decision.

If you’ve got a moment like this in your past, share it with us in the comments!

The post 15 Men Share the Moment They Knew They Wanted a Divorce appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Men Share the Moment They Knew They Wanted a Divorce

Marriage is tough, and the truth is (at least in my experience) that not everyone gets it right on the first (or second) try. It stands to reason, then, that there’s a moment for many of us when we realized that staying married to the person sharing our lives and our beds just wasn’t going to be an option.

If you’re curious what puts men over the edge in a relationship, well, these 15 guys are down to share.

15. I bet he wishes he could take the $15k back.

Not me, but one of my best friends(got his permission to post). He got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife’s Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (~$14,700) and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed (~$300).

Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up, and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts.

Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few times items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked “did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one btw) and you only got me a few things?”

At that point, his brother in law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce.

14. That’ll do it.

When a friend’s wife said to me “You know your wife is sleeping with my husband.”

13. Too bad you couldn’t take your stepdaughter with you.

When my stepdaughter became a teenager, my ex ramped up the nutso. She had always been an impatient, angry screamer of a parent. But as my stepdaugher became a young woman, my ex just went crazy with envy or something. I know lots of moms have a hard time with teenage daughters, but their base level patience is so much better than my ex’s was. Threats of cutting hair in middle of night while daughter slept, pulling hair, slapping face, ridiculing in front of her friends, swinging something that missed and put a hole in the wall – I was out, with the kids.

12. Second chances should be more than enough.

I was working on a mother daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. Was going through her Google photos account looking for pics of them together. Came across a selfie she took with some dude laying on her. Confirmed her second affair. Knew it was over the moment I saw it. That has fucked me up pretty good.

11. I would have gone for the drama and the free drinks.

We flew across the country for her sister’s wedding. She didn’t say a word to me the entire time since we had parked at the airport. Once we landed at our destination, we walked to baggage claim (absolute silence preceding for several hours now). At the carousel, I picked up her bag when she took it out of my hand and calmly stated, “None of my family knows you’re here–I told them I came alone.” She walked out of the airport and left me there.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder made for some really fun scenarios.

10. He’s got some great friends.

When my buddies approached me to complain that she kept sitting on their laps, wiggling, and hoping for an erection.

9. Not that he needed permission, but.

When she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her.

The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying. He gave me a “You should leave this relationship” look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn’t making the wrong decision. Got divorced and never looked back.

I legitimately feared for my safety towards the end — not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend.

Edit: shortened the story

8. That’s a big ol’ yikes.

The morning I saw a picture of some dudes dick on her phone. She was classy enough to bring him to the divorce proceedings…

7. It’s hard to watch people make your kids feel like that.

My wife was around less & less…had to be free to live her life, go out with her friends. More often than not she would call me to pick our daughter up from daycare, after promising to pick her up & have some girl time…..just tell her I’m working late or not feeling well. She always had something better to do & the kids were old enough to know better. I went to pick our daughter up one day, when they called her name she came running over until she saw it wasn’t mom, again, slumped her shoulders & slowly walked over to ask “what’s her excuse this time?” That was the breaking point, told her to get out, even helped pay her security deposit to get her out.

6. It’s okay to be happily divorced.

During the last year and a half of our marriage she became extremely psychologically abusive. She was a narcissist, controlled my every move, would isolate me, refused physical contact, I was just an extension to her life, was not allowed to talk to any female, was not allowed to hang out with any friends or she would ignore me for up to 5 days at a time, double standards everywhere, verbal abuse and the list can continue but it hurts to think about. The last straw for me was when she threatened to kill me because I came home from work late even though she knew I would be home late. It was just a little too late for her and she also threatened to hit me the same day. This was the second time this happened and I talked with several people at work about it and they suggested that I run. I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week. She agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn’t. Thankfully no children and it was a clean divorce and I’m happily divorced.

5. A good deal for whom, exactly?

I was a Lance Corporal bringing home scraps for a paycheck to an unemployed wife who one day brought home a brand new Lexus IS350 because she “got a good deal on it.” Apparently I was supposed to pay the $800/mo bill. I didn’t think it was a good deal.

4. Poor little dear.

She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls’ night out.
Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair. (I can math, and she can’t). It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day, and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff’s notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days.
I never knew she could be that stupid.

3. This one has to win some kind of award.

When she staged a robbery of our house so she could pawn all of my shit for drug money.

2. Oprah always knows best.

she made me watch Oprah and there was a quiz. Is Your Marriage Okay or not type thing. In my head I saw 7 or 10 items that were Not Okay. She didn’t see any. We had already been to counseling.

1. Shenanigans are overrated.

When she presented a picture of our four-year-old daughter and me laying next to each other on the couch watching Blues Clues to our marriage counselor as evidence of my “inappropriate conduct” around our kids.

Thank God he saw right through that bullshit immediately and told her to knock it off.

Edit: There is no Joe. #notmySteve

Edit 2: Many asked, so here’s the deal. We’ve been divorced almost five years now. The process wasn’t fair, but that wasn’t really my ex’s fault. No allegations of child abuse or misconduct were brought up against me during the proceedings, so that was good. They wouldn’t have flown for a minute in court anyway.

Our kids are older now and every day are becoming better equipped to see and understand the difference between what’s reasonable and right and what’s simply just batshit insane–and it’s not working out all that well for their mother, who hasn’t changed her MO much if at all since we parted ways. So it goes.

I’m happily remarried now to a woman with kids of her own–kids who were friends and schoolmates of MY kids before she and I even got to know each other. They’re all OUR kids now. Life is good. No more shenanigans.

Those are some doozies that I have no idea how they could have come back from, so yeah. Probably a good decision.

If you’ve got a moment like this in your past, share it with us in the comments!

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