People Who Have Been in Relationships With Sociopaths Dish on What It Was Like

I’m not sure someone wakes up one day and thinks they’d like to date someone who will probably never be able to genuinely return their affections, but hey – you never know what you’re going to end up with when you swipe right, you know?

If you’re curious what it’s like to date someone with an antisocial personality disorder, well…these 16 folks are giving up the goods.

16. Be very, very careful.

There wasn’t any diagnosis, but I was casually with a guy who was sending up some pretty serious red flags, and it suddenly clicked that he was a sociopath. No empathy. Would absolutely lie to people’s faces. Huge plans that went nowhere. Nothing was ever his fault. Rules were for other people. When I drifted away from him or hung out with someone else, he would start putting lots of effort in again. And of course there was the cheating, lying, etc etc.

Luckily for me, I had recognized it early, and I realized I needed to be carful about how I went about detaching myself from him. So here is what I did, and hopefully it can help someone: I never actually broke things off with him or told him we were done. Obviously this only works if you’re casual, but maybe some variation could work. So an example would be that when he asked me for something, I knew he wanted it right then. So whenever he contacted me to ask for something I’d say “sure, that sounds great! I get off of work in 3 hours and I’ll come right over with (whatever he wanted) after that!” He’d say no, never mind. I’d act like I was disappointed about it, so he thought he had successfully ‘punished’ me. He thought I was still on the hook. I’d do this over and over until he stopped thinking of me as someone he could get things from. It took a while and a lot of acting upset when he would berate me or snap at me (I specifically remember sitting in his room while he yelled at me about where I put my purse down thinking “okay remember Vi, this is very upsetting. Look sad…”) but it did work without him going to any extremes. And we lived in the same building, so it was hard to just avoid him altogether.

Obviously your mileage may vary.

15. Like a light switch flipped. Chills.

I had a friend who married one. He changed 100% the night they got married. He went from a nice normal guy to super cold. He moved her out of state, got her pregnant, and had 2 other families on the side… she finally got out of it. Fucked her up for a long time

14. Remember you’re not the crazy one.

Yerp. By far the hardest experience of my life. Was with him for nearly a year, 6 years ago. Still working on recovery today. Tried to seperate me from my friends and family, made me feel responsible for him emotionally and financially. One of the first things he did after about a week of dating was convince me to pay for his $400 phone bill so he could have his phone switched back on and stay in contact with me. That was only the beginning. I lost all self worth, by the end I felt completely crazy. It’s insane what prolonged exposure to gaslighting will do to a person. I ended up dropping out of uni because he would sabotage me at every turn. I’ll never forget when I was working on a major project and he would keep walking past me calling me a fucking bitch and spitting on my piece. I was the only one working, and supporting two people on a shit hospitality wage is hard enough, then add in about a $300 a week weed addiction. If he didn’t have it, he would lose his shit, throw things, smash things etc. it was safer for me to keep him high, and in turn I smoked a shit load to escape the reality of the situation. I finally got out when I found that he had had prostitutes in the house (and in my bed). I finally opened up to my friends what had been happening and they got me out of there. It was fucked up, but I try to see it in a positive light. I’ve learnt and gained massive self esteem since this happened, and I find I can easily detect sociopathic and narcissistic personalities not people now. I still get super triggered by things, especially males yelling or showing aggression. I still get annoyed at myself for breaking down in these situations, but each time it happens I feel myself heal just that little bit. I see it as a wound reopening, but then the scar tissue builds up, making me stronger each time. Sorry for such a long rant, seeing this question hit me and feels good to get a bit of the stuff off my chest.

13. That makes it hard to get out.

A friend of mine dated a diagnosed sociopath, and she said it was frustrating because there wasn’t any logic behind her attraction to him. She realized he was not good to her, but she couldn’t stop going back to him. She described him as both the best and worst thing in her life when she was with him

12. Sometimes you don’t know until it’s over.

I don’t imagine that it’s common for sociopaths to get diagnosed as such. They tend to live in denial. They don’t think they have issues worth exploring.

Yes, I dated one, and it was the most traumatic experience of my life. By the time it was over (multiple years), I had no idea who he was. That’s what it’s like.

11. How on earth do you even date someone who talks about hurting animals?

He was a classic, into animal torture and stuff like that.

The way he got to talk endlessly about animal torture was by pretending he felt bad for it and looking for sympathy. “I can’t believe I did [x] and [y], I feel so bad” – he kept mentioning it so much. He thought it was funny when me or the baby had pain. At one point he told me that it was so long ago, that by now I should also think it was funny that he had gotten my blood and pieces of my flesh on him.

He said that me having empathy was proof that I was mentally ill, because “empathy doesn’t exist. You just learn in your teens that there’s consequences for being bad to other people”

He also said that “nobody cares about women. They’re like steak in the supermarket” and that when he saw a woman in the streets, he thought about raping them.

He is incredibly charismatic and the police said that I made a false report. He is still harassing me through the legal system.

10. The kids surely know they’re better off.

I didn’t graduate but I studied psychology and this is exactly right. Very few sociopaths are ever officially diagnosed.

I was married to someone who I believe was a sociopath. My kids and I deal with PTSD (which I WAS diagnosed with) but are luckily finally away from it. It’s a fucking nightmare. We were together for 14 years and other than my kids, I lost everything. I didn’t fight as hard as I should have for more in the divorce because I just wanted it to be over with and to deal with him as little as possible. The best thing he ever did for our kids was remarry quickly and tell me he wanted nothing to do with them as long as they were with me.

9. Oh hell no you do not touch my dog.

My ex was never diagnosed formally, but often told me he was probably a sociopath. I think the charismatic tendencies is what really gets to me the most. I thought I was so special because he was so confident in himself. He could do no wrong, he always said everything with such confidence you felt stupid to question it. I was young and he was the first person to show interest in me that I thought was also really smart.

He killed animals too. Would often tell me about how he wanted to kill every species at least once. Fantasized about being able to kill someone. Beat my parents dog for months because he left food on the counter (which we said not to because the dog eats it) and when I threatened to break up with him if he didn’t stop beating the dog, he looked at the dog coldly and said, “If you break up with me over that stupid dog I’ll kill him,”.

I was so scared, so miserable. He isolated me away from all of my friends and family. Yet we would be able to see his friends and family. If I spoke about something, I would get yelled at on the way home. I would lock myself in the bedroom to avoid him yelling at me… but he would break lock just to yell at me more. Everytime I tried to break up with him it was, “I’ll kill myself,”, “I’ll kill the dog,”, “you’ll never be able to find someone as good as me,”, “I’ll spend every last dime you have,”.

Cheated on me constantly. Blamed me for cheating. Was just so obsessed with himself. Turned into an entirely different person sexually, after a few years of us dating. He went from being dominating (which I liked) into actually wanting me to peg him, humiliate him, etc. I once role played about someone breaking in and tying him to the chair and forcing him to watch someone rape me. And he could. Not. Stop. Thinking about it. Everytime we did anything intimate it would turn into that.

He tried to convince me to let someone else fuck me in from of him- but I ultimately bailed out because I felt it was so wrong…. so he screamed at me in a bar because “any girl would be lucky to have their boyfriend say it’s okay to sleep with someone else,”

No. He had to pick out the person. He picked out what I would ware. How I would do my make up. What we ate. Everything. It came to a point where I threatened to break up enough where he finally found it hilarious and said “oh yeah? Think you can do it on your own? Then do it,” quit he job and stopped paying rent while still living under my roof for months. Drained my savings completely.

It’s been about 2 years since I was finally free and I still have dreams of him refusing to leave. I luckily have a gun in these dreams and I shoot the son of a bitch… and I stopped dreaming for awhile, but now he’s back in my brain, haunting me yet again.

8. Cheating seems to be a common thread.

Traumatic. I’m in therapy, but I’m scared of people now. I don’t know if I want to get married or have kids.

I beat myself up for it because there were SO MANY SIGNS he was a sociopath. But I still wanted him. Even after a few years we first broke up.

I ended up catching herpes.

He never cared about me and only cared about himself. He used me. I get really mad at myself when I think about it.

Even typing this out my anxiety is slightly hitting me.

I learned that I was in love with the idea of being in love and that my self-esteem was so low.

It’s probably going to be a long time before I trust people again. One of my biggest fears is falling into that again. Even worse, not leaving.

I’m thankful that I have family and friends so that helps me. I don’t feel alone. I feel love all the time.

7. They like to isolate their victims.

My ex from college was also never officially diagnosed but admitted to me the last time we ever saw each other he thought he might be and a relative who is capable of making such a diagnosis said his behavior sounds just like it.

It started out normal, he never seemed violent and never really got physical but he seemed to enjoy playing with people. On many occasions he would offhandedly mention in a bragging way how he used to hurt people violently as a child (paired with stories of smashing large objects into kids head or even pushing another boy off the top of some closed bleachers and breaking his arm) but he had since mastered how to break people with words. He lied to everyone constantly about everything. I have no idea who he was because as the relationship came to a close it became clear every character trait he had was carefully crafted to appeal to others. He lied about his job, finishing college, things he had done. He also lied about the most random things or just, hiding information like being extremely allergic to soy for years because he “didn’t want others to know his weaknesses”. He told me a fake middle name.

He also isolated me from all my friends and family by just, always spending time with me to the point of it being borderline stalkerish. By then though I was in too deep and didn’t have a support network and couldn’t get him to leave me alone. I would try to break up with him and he would tell me no, refuse to leave my dorm (he kept getting in despite not having a key) and sit outside my work to the point where I didn’t get my contract renewed (well, I’m not sure but I think it was a factor). It didn’t help he would have periods of being the kindest person ever, often before disappearing for long periods of time.

I had an epiphany last week about his cycle. He would set up a date, not show, ghost me for days and later weeks (and at one point two months) and use his health problems and bad family situation to make me crazy anxious all of the time, never knowing when he would next cut me off. The only time I didn’t feel anxious was when I was him like how some drug addicts keep using not because they want to but because of how bad they feel if they don’t. Isolate, manipulate, force dependency. And he was had such a great persona that when I did reach out to people they would tell me to stay.

It finally ended after two and a half years when he told me he fantasized about the many ways he would murder me because I wasn’t his I wouldn’t be anybody’s. I did better in school, work, and health than I had in years and got off all my meds because it turns out I didn’t have depression and anxiety I just had this toxic tumor of a person leaching my life away.

6. Gaslighting 101.

I was a married to one. It was traumatizing. We had a child and he cheated while I was pregnant with a woman I specifically said “I don’t trust her, please avoid being alone with her” when she joined my group. (Other friends basically invited her in). He was verbally and mentally abusive. He told me no one would want me because I was a young single mom so I may as well come home and just let him cheat with whoever he felt like cheating with. I moved across the country to escape his insanity.

The best way I learned to deal with him is to ignore him and not give a shit. It messed with his ego big time. He really doesn’t know how to deal with someone who actually gives zero shots about him. He would try to tell me about whatever was going on in his life and I’d say “Why are you telling me this? I don’t care. Don’t speak to me unless it’s about our son.”

He kidnapped my child during a visit. Because our divorce was final in our home state, nothing could be done. It took me two years of fighting to win full sole custody of my son who is now grown and doesn’t have much to do with his dad.

There is of course a lot more to the story. Psychological warfare and such. He tried to make me think I was going crazy when I started to become suspicious. He tried to torture me for 18 years. I haven’t spoken to him in 5 years and I feel free. He has been told if he so much as tries to speak to me at events for my son (Graduation, college graduation, military basic training graduation) that I will walk away. I have nothing to say to the man and he has nothing to say to me. My son learned on his own what type of person his dad is and is remarkably well adjusted and full of empathy.

5. His mother tried to warn her.

Yes. He admitted his diagnosis proudly. At least to me. He was very troubled. I was only with him 8 months. But those 8 months were the worst of my life. He seemed happy to discover i didn’t have stable housing. Asked if id like to move in. I said no. So he started causing problems with the people i was crashing with. I didn’t realize this til later that he was the one that got me kicked out.

Once i had no choice but to stay with him, hotels or the streets. He laughed and said hes breaking his lease. Maybe if i did what he said faster, id be able to stay. But that i could sleep in his basement. He would do weird shit like that. Making me wait outside of bars, his job, his friends houses was a big thing hed make me do. Especially if the weather was poor.

When he drank it was even worse. Id sleep in the bathroom if he was on liquor to get away from him. If i didn’t, hed strangle me when he blacked out. Hes wanted for killing a girl in another country now. No clue where he is but ill randomly get contacted by him. Its been years but he still contacts me. All he says is “i love you”. Once he got into my email and changed my name to “i love you”. I know 100% its him.

Ive seen and been through a lot of fucked up shit in my life. It is what it is. But that man takes the fucking cake for the most awful experience in my entire life. There are people i meet or see on tv that have the same exact look in their eyes or voice pattern as him, despite looking nothing like him. I avoid those people like the plague or grande to turn the tv off. Its like they over enunciate certain points of words yet have a monotone voice. The letter t especially. Like they’re parroting a human. Not actually one

One thing he always did was watch you tube videos and practice in the mirror on how to look happy, sad, concerned. It was insane. Everyone thought he was the greatest guy on earth. His mother tried to warm me that he’d kill me. Fucked up.

4. Hopefully that’s far enough.

Was married to one for 4 years. Definitely would not repeat. The level of delusion is unreal– and trying to get him to understand someone else’s pain, trying to get him to see how his actions were fucked up– was like trying to force a colorblind person to differentiate red and green. His vast lack of empathy was unyielding. Not even his therapist could make progress, and requested to meet with me for help in getting through to him. He truly lives in a fictional world where he can do no wrong, and it’s fucking terrifying. I moved a thousand miles away first chance I got.

3. Everything was a lie.

Yes, I dated a narcissistic sociopath. It was terrible, and left permanent scars. It took time but I realize now that everything was a lie. Well, his name was correct – but what he thought, felt, did, his plans and his history – I know none of those things. He is a complete stranger and I never knew him at all.

I’m doing fine now, although once in a while I stop and shake my head because I feel so goddam dumb.

2. When his mask started to slip.

my first boyfriend told me on our first date that he was a sociopath and “i don’t feel anything but i sure know i like you” and because i was sixteen and naïve i completely fell for it. Cue being manipulated into sex, telling him i struggled with my relationship with food and body image only to be told i was “flabby” afterwards, and all the exhausting mind games. Even through all of that and more, i still utterly adored him and repressed all of my instinctual feelings that were telling me to leave, something i still feel dumb about. I honestly think i was just a toy for him to manipulate and hurt, something he made sure to tell me about after our relationship ended. The way his face would change from “loving” to like someone i didn’t know was kind of terrifying really. it all fucked me up pretty badly and i still find it hard to trust people

1. Nothing was real.

Fren, are you me? Quite literally EVERYTHING I knew about my ex was bogus. Even down to his birthday; which he blamed on an error at the DMV, which is inaccurate because they have you check your license before you leave (at least in our state).

Isolated me from my friends and family, yet we saw his all the time. Threw bitch fits if my parents came to visit for a weekend, to see their grandkids. When my grandmother passed, he sent me a barrage of texts accusing me of only going to her funeral to cheat on him. (But yet, when he left his Facebook page open, what did I find? At least three different girls sending him DMs.)

I could go on and on, but I won’t. I found out the truth, with cold hard evidence and court records to prove. He hasn’t seen my kids in 5 years; no phone calls, no cards on their birthday, no nothing. I have sole physical and legal custody and I prefer it that way. He’s since moved on to a new wife, has a new baby, and is a pastor. Lol. He would likely deny all of this or have a convenient (albeit flimsy) excuse for it.

I’ll see him in Hell.

I found this super interesting and also I am glad all over again to be done with dating.

If you have a story to add to this list we’d love to hear it!

The post People Who Have Been in Relationships With Sociopaths Dish on What It Was Like appeared first on UberFacts.

July 4, 2020

10 Times That Text Messages Went Hilariously Wrong

There’s a subreddit you should absolutely not visit unless you want to cringe yourself into such a condensed state that you actually become a black hole and devour the entire solar system. But you should really check it out…

It’s called r/sadcringe and it is what it sounds like; user submitted cringe content that is sad. That said, it’s also frequently really funny, as evidenced by some of the better text exchanges that get regularly get added to the gallery of failure.

Check out these 10 examples of conversations that that did NOT go well.

10. Ready, aim, fired

This is the most compelling short story of a generation.

Yea just got fired no big deal. Wanna hangout though from sadcringe

9. sweats A LOT

Anime is not real life, my guy.

*cringe nervously* from sadcringe

8. What a twist!

Your deductive powers know no bounds.

Damn feels bad. from sadcringe

7. For not your eyes only

…what exactly are you trying to pull off here and how did you fail at it so hard?

Yikes from sadcringe

6. Glub glub

Come on friend, there are other fish in the sea.

Smooth Operator from sadcringe

5. Stonks are down

These are the wonders modern technology has brought us.

Found on reddit. Thought it belonged here from sadcringe

4. Hell-no

Even if I wanted to talk to this person I wouldn’t because this is too entertaining.

Persistence is the key to success from sadcringe

3. Man hunt

I’m not sure this is the most efficient way to go about that.

F from sadcringe

2. Night of the living dead

Yeah generally texting random numbers isn’t cute.

Oops from sadcringe

1. Trust issues

I feel like I know what’s going to be the first topic of discussion at that session.

Oh boy from sadcringe

Looking at how terrible all those conversations went makes me feel slightly better about the fact that I work from home and don’t talk to people enough. Obviously, talking to people is dangerous. That’s the lesson here, for sure.

What’s the worst text exchange you’ve ever had?

Make us cringe in the comments.

The post 10 Times That Text Messages Went Hilariously Wrong appeared first on UberFacts.

July 3, 2020

People Talk About Negative Mentalities and Mindsets That Need to End

The world is full of people who don’t want to listen to reason and who think they know everything…even when they’re dead wrong.

All we can do is try our best to educate people and to do the right thing, but it can be very frustrating to deal with people who have awful mindsets and mentalities.

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say about things that just need to go away.

1. No love.

“That we should have unconditional love for our relatives.

Bitch, if you hurt me enough, why should I even like you?”

2. Take it down a notch.

“Broadcasting everything on social media.

I have cut way back on my social media presence.

There is absolutely no reason why everyone that I have ever met throughout my life needs to I know every detail of everything that is going on in my life.”

3. Everybody take a deep breath…

“That if a person doesn’t immediately text you back then they don’t love you.

I’ve seen people cry over “well I texted him after 20 mins of him texting me and it’s been 21 minutes and he hasn’t texted me back yet!!! We’re breaking up!”

I’ve even had fallouts with friends because I had to stop texting to drive or go to class. I understand it’s from anxiety, I have clinical anxiety and I understand to a point.

But, it is EXTREMELY anxiety-causing to have to monitor all your text-back times and frequency so the other person doesn’t throw your entire relationship away over not texting back fast enough. It’s ridiculous and I’m so tired of it.

Let people have a life outside of you, their life doesn’t have to be 10000% dedicated to you for them to truly love you. Sometimes the best thing you can have in a relationship, any relationship, is a mutual respect of privacy and time.”

4. It takes time.

“That anything but perfection is a failure.

Progress is often incremental and takes time.”

5. Maybe you’re toxic?

“Everybody that doesn’t get along with you or agree with you is “toxic.”

People are starting to expect being around nobody but people that agree with them, like a constant feedback bubble on social media, but in real life.”

6. Don’t need to hear this one again.

““If you can’t handle me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at my best.”

Sometimes someone’s worst is an absolute deal-breaker and needing to cut ties and move on doesn’t mean that that person doesn’t deserve the good things that come from a better relationship.”

7. Not for everyone.

“A life without children is empty and worthless.

I am confident that I would be a terrible parent, and no it wont change, and no my life will not suffer because of it.

It is better to have that insight and avoid parenthood that have kids you resent, mistreat , or are unprepared for.”

8. Not a good outlook.

“Nobody is interested in having a relationship with me and that definitely means there’s a problem with the sex/sexes I’m interested in as a whole.”

9. Not a chance.

“The customer is always right.

Infuriating for those in retail, food service, etc.”

10. Sad.

“If we do not agree politically then you are an enemy that needs to be destroyed.

Politicians are supposed to be serving the people.

People should be holding the politicians collectively accountable and taking them to task.

Instead, people are fighting each other over politicians at the cost of public interests.”

11. Just existing.

“That being gay or trans is a political statement.

We just exist.”

12. Canceled.

“Cancel culture.

Yes, if someone has raped and assaulted people, I don’t really want to hear from them again (though it seems some get a pass and others don’t, see all of Hollywood applauding Polanski and then banging on about metoo.)

But if someone said “gaaaay” as an insult 20 years ago or tweeted that they voted for someone you dislike, no, I don’t think their entire career and life needs to be destroyed.

I am very left wing, socially liberal, but my God, am I sick of hearing about how awful someone is because they used the wrong pronoun or didn’t use the right word to describe a group of people.”

13. Interesting.

“The anti-nuclear bullshit.

It’s the cleanest, safest power source in the world. It’s reliable and with the proper reactor designs, scalable and portable.

And before anyone says solar, the panels are made with some fairly toxic materials that are very difficult to recycle and will be a massive issue in the next 20-30 years when the current panels need replacement.”

14. You must be a doctor!

“”Vaccines are dangerous, I know what’s best for my child.”

Yeah that 10 minute google search you did to confirm your bias trumps decades of medical research.”

15. This is very common.

“This mentality of older people in industries refusing to train or teach younger people then complaining when younger people don’t know what they’re doing. I deal with this constantly at work. I’m a young guy in my industry and I am the exception to the norm. Most fire investigators are older guys.

They constantly ask me why there aren’t more young fire investigators and I always tell them the same thing. Because you guys made it so difficult to get into the industry by requiring certifications that require five years experience to get, require two court testimonies to get, and so on that no one can get into the industry.

And then if someone does manage to break in, you guys treat them like crap, refuse to help them, and refuse to teach them what they need to know.

There are a ton of critical industries in the United States that are going to have issues because the barriers to getting into the industry are so high and those already in it are so elitist that there’s going to be no one who knows what they are doing left to continue the work. It’s a major problem.

Teach young people. Bring them in. Show them the ways. Don’t be a fucking dick.”

How do you feel about this?

Tell us what you think in the comments.

Please and thank you!

The post People Talk About Negative Mentalities and Mindsets That Need to End appeared first on UberFacts.

July 3, 2020

People Talk About the Bad Mindsets and Mentalities That They’d Like to See Go Away Forever

Even though I think (I hope?) we are evolving and becoming more accepting and more kind to each other, there are A LOT of problems in this world right now.

And a lot of them come from deeply-entrenched ideas and beliefs that people can’t see to get rid of no matter what.

What stupid and backward mindsets would you like to see go away?

Let’s see what folks on AskReddit had to say.

1. This one right here.

“Alcoholism being romanticized.

No, it’s pretty terrible to be honest. I feel like shit today.

I want to stop drinking but I know I’m gonna drink more today.”

2. It’s okay to change your mind.

“That if I change my mind or opinion about something I’m being fake or phony.”

3. Let it go.

“That you need to stay in contact with all of your family members even though some of them are incredibly toxic.”

4. Get this shit outta here.

“My opinion is as good as your evidence.

This, or that everyone’s opinions are equally valid.

No, the guy who has a PhD and 10 years of experience in the field’s opinion is more valid than your 10 min google search.”

5. All about me.

“People who oppose good things because ‘I struggled through it and so should you!’ instead of thinking ‘good, nobody should go through that if possible.’”

6. We all need a break.

““No days off”. Sometimes you need a mental health day or a break, and people make it sound like if you don’t work yourself into the ground you won’t be successful.

Successful people know when to recharge.

It’s an annoying mindset .”

7. A little patience.

“Expecting everything instantly.

Patience is a virtue.

You’re not going to die if you have to wait in line.”

8. Not a hoax.

“Climate change is not weather.

Just because it’s -10 degrees doesn’t mean it’s a hoax.”

9. A bunch of BS.

“If you don’t post about a tragedy or support something on social media, you are ok with it or dont support/care about said something.”

10. Sometimes, you have to let it go.

“Quitting is only for losers.

If you try something and don’t like it, why keep doing it? Why not allow yourself to switch to a better major or try a different sport or get a new job?

I mean, don’t quit everything once it gets hard, but why stay miserable for a “quitters never win” mentality? Get a job you LIKE. Do an activity you LIKE.”

11. Work/life balance.

“There is this whole work culture expectation now of always being reachable by email or text for whatever happens. A lot of places expect, and at times demand, that you be pretty much on call even when you’re not at the office anymore.

I worked at an ad agency where days off sometimes didn’t even feel like that, because I would still be getting emails about things and was expected to be checking them. I hated it.

There should be some level of balance between work and personal life and I feel like that is fading because so many places are adapting this type of culture and mentality, especially start-ups.”

12. Not a competition.

“Stop comparing traumas.

It’s not a fucking competition. Learn to have empathy and take care of each others’ mental health.”

13. People change.

“Assuming that people are not allowed to change their opinions or values over time, and judging people, famous or not, for comments made decades ago.

Yes, some people have patterns of problematic comments and behavior and should not be ignored. But it also makes sense that, for example, a politician may have learned more about abortion or healthcare or what have you and be able to change their stance.

We are not the same people at 25 and 50.”

14. Gimme my sleep!

“Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I don’t need sufficient sleep.

Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I spend all of my money recklessly and need to work overtime every weekend.

Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I don’t want to relax at home on my time off.

I hear a lot of shit at work because I work with mostly older people. I budget my money wisely and in a sense I also budget my time.

Apparently those concepts are hard to understand.”

Okay, now we want to hear from you.

Tell us about the mindsets and mentalities that you think need to end.

Talk to us in the comments!

The post People Talk About the Bad Mindsets and Mentalities That They’d Like to See Go Away Forever appeared first on UberFacts.

July 3, 2020

People Share What Makes Them Happy to Be Alive

Yes, life is unfair.

Yes, life seems like it can sometimes be totally unbearable.

But life is also beautiful and, guess what? We only get shot.

So we might as well make the best of it.

What makes you happy to be alive?

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

1. The good stuff!

“Maaaan, all the good in this world. Joking around and laughing with your friends untill you can’t breathe anymore. A random dog running up to you to sniff your butt. Getting your first kiss.

The smells from bakeries when you head out in the morning. Staring at the moon late at night knowing there’s someone out there doing the same. Hugging your parents after not seeing them for a while. Cuddling with you SO after you did the beep peep skadidly doo.

A stranger’s baby smiling at you when you’re waiting for a bus. The taste of the watermelon on a hot summer day and laying on the couch under a blanket watching the flames in the fireplace on a cold winter evening.

Listening to the music in your bed on a Friday night knowing you don’t have to set up an alarm for tomorrow. Texting your crush late late at night both of you being deadass tired but neither one wanting it to stop. The feeling of accomplishment when you finally learn to tie your shoes yourself.

When you finally reach the bathroom after having to pee really bad. Telling a joke and the whole group of people laughs. Reading a book at the seaside while the sun unbeknownst to you slowly burns in a dick a sibling drew on your back with the sunscreen.

Finally beating a game you’ve been playing for weeks. Making a meme yourself and thousands of strangers on reddit like it too. When you inconsistently water your cactus but the cactus is just fine with it and it blooms to thank you and you didn’t even know cactuses can bloom.

When you’re really tired after a workout and your muscles are sore the next day but hey you know you did something good for yourself. Starving yourself because you know grandma is going to cook your favorite meal and you HAVE to eat it all.”

2. Little things.

“The amount of beauty in the world that we lived in.

Tonight, after a long day of dealing with stuff thay nobody should ever have to go through, I looked up whike walking to my car in the parkinglot at the black night sky, and saw dozens of brightly lit stars shining down at me.

It was an amazing sight, and made me think that light, even though it took it millions to billions of years, can still reach me.

It’s little things like that which helps keep me going.”

3. The future.

“I live for the future.

I love to observe what goes on around me and predict what may happen based on those observations. That is also how I view my personal life, and I love to see how I grow and develop with each interaction and event in my life.

Cheers!”

4. Honor those who are gone.

“My parents are both gone and my best friend who is a dog is also gone, all way too soon.

I find that living life with positivity honors them and the years they missed out on.

I now have two girls that help every moment to fill that void.

Stay positive.”

5. Learned how to manage.

“I attempted suicide as a teenager.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned coping skills and how to better manage stress in my life. Today I am married to my best friend, have three amazing kids, a career that I enjoy, and friends that I know I can count on.”

6. Limited time.

“The thought that you can’t go back keeps me here.

You only have a limited time to enjoy everything you can, and you have to use it wisely. The fact that it will all end makes the here and now sweeter.

You have to enjoy things while you can.”

7. You’re in charge.

“As long as you’re alive, you have control. Even if you’re a prisoner on death row, you still get to decide to stand up or sit down. You still get to think.

If you’re dead, that’s all over. Every version of the afterlife I’m aware of removes all autonomy and you become a slave of either the god or the underworld. And if there is no afterlife, then I guess you just kinda cease to exist.

Either way, no more autonomy, so ending it all because you feel like you’ve lost control over your life or have nothing to live for doesn’t make logical sense, because even a 0.1% chance of regaining some sense of autonomy is better than no chance at all.”

8. It’s worth it.

“There’s always a reason to live, even though it may not always be obvious.

For example, if my time ended on this world right now, I would miss out on so much. I couldn’t eat White Castle again, watch Amphibia season 2, witness 4/20/2069, or go to more Rubik’s Cube competitions. Life isn’t always easy, but there is something that will always motivate me and let me know that it’s all worth it.

I cannot wait to experience the future and all the beauty and pain it holds.”

9. This. Right here.

“The possibilities of how to create each day are endless, the joy that can be had in every moment is limitless, the miracle of living is awesome and wonderful.

I’m grateful to be a part of it.”

10. A big world out there.

“Why not? The world is so big and is waiting to be discovered!

Why be sad when you’re one of hundreds of millions and more sperm cells to be lucky to be alive. There are plenty of people, plenty of science, culture and undiscovered stuff.

By living in the 21st century the medicine has gotten far better than anytime before. Live life to the fullest and regret nothing because the youth is the chance to actually LIVE and do a lot of things, try new other stuff, make mistakes and troubles. Live life when young so you can remember good ol’ days when you get older.

Have something to tell your children and grandchildren one day!”

11. Keep on truckin’.

“Life sucks at times, but not always.

I keep reminding myself that life can get better but death is so final and it may suck more than life so that’s a pretty big gamble might as well keep on truckin.”

12. A miracle.

“Just to get to be a part of life is so amazing. I think people take for granted what a miracle we are and all that has gone into getting us as far as we’ve gotten.

If you even just look at a wooden chair there’s probably hundreds of inventions that went into it. From the tools that ultimately built it, to the very materials and coatings used in both the chair and everything else involved in its construction you’ll see thousands of years worth of advancement that no other species known in all of existence has done.

That’s just for a basic chair, the device you posted this from represents probably involves millions of brand new ideas that people who came before you thought up to make things better for us.

We get to be part of, and even contribute to, such an amazing thing as humans, and we’ve done it in such a short time too, the oldest human fossil is what, about 50k years old? If you look at our planet, our universe, that’s so incredibly short, and we’ve already basically conquered our own planet with our eyes toward space.

I guess it’s difficult to explain but just getting the chance to be a part of such a miracle has overwhelmed me since for a long time.”

13. The senses.

“I live to get completely lost in my senses.

We are so lucky to be able to even see, hear, smell, touch, or taste. We could just not exist and never experience anything but we are somehow here on this planet. I love starring at trees, clouds, mountains, and stars.

There’s something special about becoming just a witness instead of conceptualizing and judging.”

14. It’s a gift.

“Everything is just so wild, awesome, this whole society feels like a gift.

This is hard to put in words, but looking at any singular object fills me with a sense there’s so much of things to see/know/feel. So many things to BE. I’m privileged as fuck and the least I could do is be grateful to live in here in the West.

Also I wanna see a Dyson sphere sunrise, I wanna live on Mars. I wanna see my kids grow up on the Moon daring one another to steal the Andy Warhol penis painting from the Apollo 11 landing site.”

15. Not done yet.

“I was in a bad car accident that should have left me dead.

I like to think my job isn’t done just yet.”

16. To be human.

“To make mistakes. To err. To learn. To experience. To laugh, and to love. To be very much human. To look forward to tomorrow, a brighter day, with endless hope. To see another smile, feel the brush of wind, and smell freshly-cut grass. To hold a child up high, and hope the same for it.

But also to cry, to despair and to lose hope. To be heartbroken, gutted and lost. To feel no end to the darkness, and become despondent. To be blind in a world without light, without a guide and without direction. To feel completely helpless.

And then to rise once more, with empathy, love, cadre and affection from close family and friends. To find direction once more, to forgive and forget, and crucially, to offer a hand to anyone in a plight similar.

To Be Utterly Human.”

Now we want to hear from you about what makes you happy in life!

Talk to us in the comments!

Thanks and have a great day!

The post People Share What Makes Them Happy to Be Alive appeared first on UberFacts.

July 3, 2020

People Talk About Why They Like to Be Alive

Life has a habit of knocking you down, dragging you around, and making you feel like you can’t get up again.

So why do we get back on our feet?

Because life is amazing! And those really tough times make you stronger and when times are good, you can point to those heartaches and realize they shaped you into the person you are.

So enjoy the little things, take care of your family and friends, work hard, and do your best to BE HAPPY.

Let’s see how AskReddit users responded to this question.

1. Get through the BS.

“There are many things that make me like being alive, like my best friends, my husband, his daughter, my dog, a future.

I just have to wade through all the bullshit to enjoy them.”

2. Your purpose.

“Even though I need to remind myself sometimes, I like to be alive because my husband and family give me joy and purpose. Ultimately, I need to not be so hard on myself sometimes, and I think most people could relate to that.

I need to take more joys in my successes rather than think, “Cool, finally didn’t fuck something up,” which is what I tend to do.”

3. All the small things.

“Seeing people’s faces when they get a nice text. Getting the window seat on a plane. Playing with babies.

Flipping through a stack of records. Hitting the rev limiter. Perfectly ripe watermelons. My dog. Everything lavender scented. A goal scored with 2 minutes left in the 3rd. When the coffee/cream/sugar balance is flawless.

Painting a room with friends. The electrical buzz when you walk downtown after rain. Overdressing for events. Finding something you thought was lost forever.

I could write a million of these and they change every day.”

4. Nearing the end.

“I’m terminally ill and the closer I’ve gotten to death the more I’ve just sat back and watched nature, genuinely stopping to smell the roses. It’s the little things in life that make life worth living.

The family of birds in a nearby tree communicating with each other. The dog you wake up every morning to and can’t wait to see you and be around you.”

I even oddly like watching the trees rustle on a windy day. Watching my fish swim around their aquarium. Valuing the time and memories I make with my wife and friends.

People that say life isn’t worth living need to try their very best to smell the roses, watch the sun rise or Sun set. I know sometimes life really can get us down in the dumps but life is truly beautiful.”

5. Kiddos.

“I have two kids.

Every day they annoy the crap out of me and each other. But they also bring me great joy.

They are smart, funny and find joy in the world in ways that I never knew possible.”

6. Found your happy place.

“My husband and our dogs.

All throughout high school I told myself that I wouldn’t live beyond 21 years old and truly believed it. Depression kicked my ass back then.

My now husband and I met when I was 19 and I swear he saved me. Four years later and I’ve never been so happy in my entire life.”

7. Music.

“Music.

Can’t read it. Can’t carry a tune. Know nothing about playing an instrument, except silent night on a keyboard, know nothing about arrangement, song writing, none of it.

But when a song hits that sweet spot, where you can feel your heart rate get faster, you start slightly sweating, the hairs on your arm stand on end and you go all goose pimply and “electric”, so much so you see colours…

That’s what keeps me alive. Its a high I can chase and get results fairly often with the only side effects being listening to a song so much it gets old quickly….or eventually tinnitus.”

8. The road back.

“It’s officially been one year since I almost ended my life, and I’m pretty proud of it and wanted to share it.

It’s always the little things that keep me going. Sunsets, endorphin rushes after workouts, pancakes, little moments of joy with my friends, art, trying new things, etc.

I don’t always feel better than that day a year ago, but I know that there will always be moments in the future that I will feel better that make everything worth it.”

9. Too much fun.

“There are so many things that I want to learn as well as so many things that I want to be good at!

I love working hard and seeing progress and improvement, it’s just too fun.”

10. I like these things.

“The woods and the ocean.

Getting the giggles that don’t quit with anyone, but especially with a close friend. I don’t think there’s anything better.”

11. Ups and downs.

“Although life goes ups and downs, I’m pretty happy how its going.

Last year I graduated from college and I have a great job, good friends and a loving family. My only wish is I could get a nice GF, but I always have one million reasons to thank for being alive :).”

12. There you go.

“I LOVE to smoke weed.”

13. Keep moving forward.

“Because I haven’t figured it out yet.

I’ve been struggling with depression for so long now but what’s always kept me going is I haven’t found that thing that just kinda ties it all together. Now at this point I just have to see what it is.

If the statement is true of good things come to those who wait then I’m hoping things get pretty good eventually.”

14. All you need.

“Laughing with my wife

snuggling on the couch with my daughter

playing Pokemon with my son

listening to people whose hearts are broken

hot pepperoni pizza with peppercinis

hot coffee on cold mornings

singing loudly and poorly off-key

the smell of freshly baked bread

smiling at strangers

telling bawdy jokes over beers and whiskey

peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwiches

sleepy cats in my lap

crisp apples

playing portal 2 again

the sound of snow after it has fallen

thunderstorms

new sharpie markers.”

15. A good story.

“I met a blind guy at the bar tonight, we started talking about normal small talk, he asked me what I did for work after my rambling on about my job for a few minutes I asked him what he did for work, he responded “well it’s kind of complicated”.

I said back to him “please don’t tell me you’re a truck driver” he laughed harder than I’ve seen anyone laugh in a long time. Long story short, sometimes people that have life harder than you need to laugh and you might just be the person to loosen up their lives or whatever.”

Okay, now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us why you like to be alive.

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post People Talk About Why They Like to Be Alive appeared first on UberFacts.

July 1, 2020

People Who Didn’t Know Their First Love Was Weird Until They Dated Someone Normal

The funny thing about the first person you do anything with is that you just assume that’s the only way to do things. Which is fine, if it’s good, but another story altogether if it turns out to be bad.

Or, as is the case with some of these people, just plain weird.

These 18 people dated that first person for a long time, and they’re here to tell you what came as a shock when they first got into a relationship with someone knew.

18. Too many guys think foreplay all happens in the bed.

Not every guy wants to throw on Motown and slow dance with you. Some of them don’t even care to touch you.

I miss the slow dances.

17. Not all expectations are bad ones.

I see so much horrible things on here, mine is quite tame but here goes.

My first boyfriend would always leave me small presents or notes underneath my pillow if I had to get up earlier than he did. He was quite romantic and told me I love you quite a lot.

When I got a new boyfriend I caught myself looking underneath my pillow for at least a month/2 months in, just out of habit.

16. You can’t make anyone else happy.

My ex put her happiness on me making it my responsibility.

Would demand I stay around and cut my work hours back and then be upset when we wouldn’t have money to go out. Every time I would try and leave I was coerced with sex to stay, because I was young and stupid. After 8 years I had enough I moved 5 states away.

Had a chain of bad relationships that ended, took some time to work on myself and I’m now engaged to an amazing woman I can communicate with share feelings about issues and who values a healthy relationship.

15. The grass is never actually greener unless you water it.

That you should be happy together now, and not constantly waiting for some vaguely defined future where everything’s settled down.

14. I guess it’s how crappy men are.

Psychological abuse.

I have a physical reaction now when my current partners are nice to me when I do something he would have berated me for hours and locked me in my room for. Like, I get a panic attack because my partners are nice to me when I drop a glass, or got laid off, or forgot to unload the dishwasher. And then they don’t bring it up every time they’re irritated with me. My ex was still yelling at me 14 years later for shit I did when we first started dating – shit like I forgot to pick up his laundry from the floor or bought the wrong brand of bacon. At the end there, the lectures lasted hours as he recounted 14 years of offenses.

My current partners? They don’t throw shit in my face that I did the day before. The dissonance is crazy.

I knew the other abuse wasn’t normal, but my step dad is the same way with my mom, so I had no idea, I just thought it’s how men are.

13. Those are both things I’m happy he/she figured out.

Daily binge drinking until I realized a) I’m an alcoholic and b) hetero relationships don’t work when one partner tries to drink the gay away

Only took me 9 years but I got there eventually

12. Not everyone’s love language is physical touch.

That some girls, in a relationship, don’t like to kiss as often as others.

I’m just talking about pecks when I/gf gets home etc.

I always enjoyed a hello kiss but I guess some girls don’t?

11. Was he…drunk?

Not me but the girl I’m currently dating said that her first long-term boyfriend would stare at himself in the bathroom for an hour or so before going to bed each night.

10. I’m emotionally spent just reading this.

being cowed into an “open arrangement” = normal.

Him introducing me to “friends” while hanging out or going to parties and then him telling me later in the evening after the ice had broken that they were actually the girl(s) he was fucking. Capitulating to his insistence that we continue to hang out even though I was uncomfortable with knowing this new information. = Normal.

Him making unwelcome and uncomfortable comments to other women I was friends with in front of me to attempt to orchestrate threesomes that I was not ok with.= Normal

If you love me, you’ll chase after me = Normal

If you love me you’ll leave face time up at all times so I can see whats going on in your dorm = Normal

If you love me you will not show any sad or mad emotion because it ruins my mood = Normal.

9. Well that made me giggle.

I thought most guys liked having their nipples played with because my first ex did. My second boyfriend was so confused when i started licking his tiddy lmao

8. If it’s the right person, the work is always worth it.

People’s love languages are all different. It’s especially jarring when you have a lot of experience doing things a certain way, and then finding out that isn’t what somebody else needs. It can take some work to figure out what’s inherent to yourself and what was learned from your partner.

7. Everyone’s libido is different so she probably wasn’t trolling you.

She made me believe the old TV tropes of women NEVER wanting sex. I had to work my ass off to get her to give me some action.

The next girl I had was just fucking amazed that I didn’t just ask for it when I wanted it. The bewildered look on her face when she finally asked “You realize I’m horny too right?”

6. When they can make you believe anything they want.

My ex basically taught me that it wasn’t okay for me to be upset about things. Every time I would get my feelings hurt (even when I was upset about something completely unrelated to him) it was somehow flipped around so I ended up reassuring and comforting him. That shit really messed me up, and I basically had to relearn how to be vulnerable with my SO. He also had a very solid plan of how he expected me to live my life, basically his main goal for me was to have kids and be a good housewife. Yikes.

On the bright side, nowadays I’m happily engaged and my fiance treats me with so much love and respect. He’s supportive of my dreams and we are able to lean on each other in times of hardship.

5. What a fantastic moment.

I texted my then new girlfriend about where I was and who I was with about every 30 minutes.

After the 3rd time, she told me that she didn’t need to get updates on what I was doing, and to just let her know when I got home safe. I remember feeling almost a physical weight being lifted off my chest because I didn’t have to worry about my girlfriend freaking out if I didn’t update her.

I learned what trust felt like that night.

4. I know this isn’t funny, but maybe it will be someday.

That every time was essentially a quickie.

Almost a whole decade of nothing but 5 thrusts and then blast off.

After that relationship ended I felt like Jasmine on a magic carpet ride….a whole new world.

3. Relationships are hard, but not every day.

This is morbid but I thought it was normal to argue every day. I thought ‘all couples have their bickering’ and it was just a regular thing.

I was astounded when I went into my next relationship and actually got on with the guy and went weeks and weeks without having any issues. It always felt like the bubble was going to burst. Goes to show – don’t stay in a relationship just because you’ve already invested a tonne of time. You get one life, spend it with someone who makes you laugh every day.

2. This sounds like it’s going to work out.

It wasn’t super long term, only about a year but when you’re in high school that’s fairly long term.

My ex was a very clingy dude, sweet but would follow me around every social gathering and get jealous of me spending time with my friends. When I started dating the guy who is now my husband I remember looking around at a party early on of mostly my friends that he hadn’t met before and I couldn’t find him. I asked someone where he was and he was out by the fire with a group of people chatting and hanging out.

I was astonished that we could just go our separate ways in a social setting and that was totally fine, we didn’t have to be attached at the hip the whole time.

1. This is so depressing.

Porn is not a documentary.

Being used as a sex doll, contorted into uncomfortable positions, and pounded until you bleed, can’t stand up, or just break down crying from the pain isn’t normal, nor is anal sex a necessity. We were both virgins and he had major porn brain.

I thought I was bad at sex and would never be able to have a positive experience with intimacy until I finally left him and was with my second boyfriend.

I’m ok now, but wow was that a horrible person to lose my virginity to.

I think stuff like this is just plain fascinating!

Which of these surprised you the most? Could you add something to the list? Tell us what it would be in the comments!

The post People Who Didn’t Know Their First Love Was Weird Until They Dated Someone Normal appeared first on UberFacts.

July 1, 2020

People Who Had Zero Sex Ed Recall How They Learned the Basics

If you live in the U.S., there’s a good chance that your sex education was lacking. A few lectures in middle school, maybe an awkward talk from your parents, and everyone assumed you were good to go.

While that definitely wasn’t true thirty years ago, the advent of the internet and the shocking availability of porn may have rendered the “what goes where” talk completely pointless to Gen Z (and beyond).

These 16 people, though, had absolutely zero clue what was going to happen the first time they were intimate with another human being, and they’re willing to dish on just how they figured it all out.

16. Bless their hearts.

Still better than a couple my dad once counseled.

They didn’t understand why they hadn’t conceived after trying for a year.

Turns out there was a slight language barrier – they didn’t understand that “sleep together” was a euphemism.

They were literally just lying next to each other every night.

15. He didn’t know you had to move it.

This was in 1998.

I was M 17, she was F 18. We had the day set. I drove around for like a week trying to find a “spot”. I found one inside a wilderness preserve. The day comes, it was late, dark outside. We were in a tiny truck, the front on of the truck, not the bed. I knew it had to be hard, and where it went, and that was the end of my knowledge. So, she had a condom, I put it on, and I put it in. And.. I… didn’t… move… I just put it in and laid there perfectly still. Needless to say, it didn’t take long for things to go south. Now, I had masturbated plenty in my life, but I honestly thought that had nothing to do with the movements required for actual sex. So, it went soft, I was embarrassed, and I got out of the truck. The condom was no longer really useful. She told me to throw it out and try again. I was worried, but she reassured me that it would be fine. She ended up telling me a lot of lies over the next few years. (Actually, it was fine, but that was still dumb on our part). Anyway, I manually got hard, trying to hide what I was doing from her.

This time, I did the “masturbate” movements while I was inside her, even it it made me seem like a weirdo by moving during sex, just trying to make something happen. Well, it happened, and I was relieved. Now, to get out of there. I had pulled into an area of the woods where there was a small pull in. When I reversed out, I reversed into a ditch. Not a large ditch, but definitely stuck in the mud now. No amount of forward or reverse would get us out. We had no phones, this was just before cell phones became common. So, we began a 1-mile walk through this wilderness preserve at night. Talk about being scared. We came across a house, a random house with a big dog. I wanted to skip that house, but it was the only one for another mile. So, we went to the door, knocked, and told the suspicious home owner we were stuck and asked to use their phone. I had a friend, actually more of an acquaintance, with a truck. I had to guess at his dad’s name to look them up in the phone book. I got a hold of him, and then we waited with these strangers for 30 minutes or more. He shows up, pulls my truck out, and charges me for gas money.

I get home way past curfew, I’m grounded from seeing her anymore. Of course, that doesn’t stop me, I was a man as of that night. Albeit an awkward man. I went on later to marry that girl.

14. It’s quite the realization.

I grew up super duper religious.

My mom didn’t even really explain what my period was. I went to school and they provided information like sex ed and period education, but I never really got it. From the diagrams, I never figured a penis could/would get hard. So for YEARS I honestly though that both people would lie on their backs and kinda jenga their genitals together yoga style.

But then I was like 14 and I found out that a PENIS CAN GO FROM SOFT TO HARD LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??? Is it a solid or a liquid?!?!

Turns out if you do it right, its both

13. I literally don’t know what to say.

Never received any Sex Ed when I was younger. While watching porn I always thought “why doesn’t his schlong have the extra bit of skin mine does?”

Time goes on and my first gf is coming over to mine for the first time when my parents aren’t home. This is it. Time to lose the V plates. But wait… this extra bit of skin on my cum gun hasn’t fallen off yet!

So, in a panic, I decide to get the scissors and just snip off this excess skin. Had them primed and ready to slice my banjo string when I get a knock at the door. My gf had inadvertently saved me from savagely mutilating my own genitals.

Thankfully she was more educated on the topic and got me through losing my virginity unharmed

12. There’s a certain danger in that.

We learned in biology how reproductive organs work but they didn’t mention sex.

They just spoke about each individually.

I learned about sex from porn.

11. I mean. That’s part of it.

I had only seen sex on tv. And of course on tv they never show them actually having sex so I thought people just viciously tore their clothes off and then lay in bed naked

10. I think that’s what the world wants you to think is the “standard.”

I grew thinking all humans had penises. Like I was even shown a vagina one time and I thought they had tucked it in smh

9. I don’t think it would have taken long to figure out that wouldn’t work.

I remember learning from porn that the testicles do not actually go in the vagina. Just glad I got that little tid-bit sorted out before my big moment

8. I’m not sure this is the right area to self-teach in.

Didn’t receive any proper sex ed classes at school or any talks from my parents. I just accidentally stumbled upon porn when I was really young. Like in middle school/elementary school and as I got older. I did research on the female vagina. Mainly just studied the diagrams and learned how everything worked. So you can say I self taught myself.

My first time was still pretty bad, but it could’ve been MUCH worse.

7. This is a whole lot of information.

Throwaway cuz this shits fucking embarrassing.

I was very sheltered, like absolutely no movies with sex and even kissing scenes had to be skipped/eyes averted. Always taught not to kiss until marriage. Sex was taboo, and to this day I still have some irrational shame talking openly about it. The only people I socialized with at all were like me, extremely sheltered and old fashioned (small town, small church, small school). Had “sex ed”, but it never actually taught us about sex, just basic anatomy – I think it was 20 minutes once a year, only in grade 5 and 6.

First time I got a boner, maybe 13 idk but I thought the head of my dick was gonna fall off as soon as the foreskin pulled back behind that edge and it freaked me out. I sat on the toilet for a good while just holding the foreskin forward until it went away on its own.

First time I masturbated I was I think 17. My dick was disgusting. Because I had never done it before and never really played with my dick at all, and nobody told me anything about cleaning it, there was years of dick cheese (aka dead skin and all that stuff) that built up into a several mm thick layer under my foreskin. I don’t remember a smell, but hard to imagine how there wasn’t one.

One night I had a boner randomly in bed and I got super annoyed and just looked at it, and a piece of this dick cheese was sticking out from the edge of the foreskin and starting to come off… so I just carefully (holy shit it was sensitive) pealed it off. Then some more, then some more…it felt amazing. Like pealing dried glue off your finger nails had sex with, well, having sex and this was its baby. I eventually ran out of this nasty fucking shit to clean off but by then I realized that moving the foreskin back and forth on my dick felt amazing…so I kept doing it. Then I sped up. Then I came. Then I knew. I had never cum before then except from wet dreams, and I 100% was convinced I was sterile. So seeing that white stuff come out was almost better than the orgasm itself.

The interesting thing is I’d been looking at porn for years by that point, but somehow masturbation had never even crossed my mind. I just didn’t know it was a thing people did. Someone at school asked me if I masturbated in grade 9 and I didn’t even know what the word meant so I had to go home and look it up, and I tried a few different web searches but all I found was that its when guys “put their penis between the mattress and boxspring and thrust”. Which I thought was super fucking weird and painful and why do that. To this day I have no idea how nothing more explicit came up on that altavista search but that’s how I remember it.

To this day I’m actually pretty self conscious about the whole thing. Like how fucking dense was I that I took so long to figure such a basic human exercise out? How disgusting is it that I didn’t figure out how to clean my own dick? Wtf was I thinking about when I looked at all that porn? Am I fucking autistic? (Probably to some extent).

6. It’s important to have an understanding (and willing) partner.

When I was 16, I was lucky enough to have a girlfriend as inexperienced as I was. All we knew was that we wanted to do naked, sexy stuff together. It took a few nights, but we figured it out.

5. It’s an awkward moment when you realize your parents do it.

A slightly unrelated story about my friend.

I was a year older than her, and told her everything because I had discovered it just discovered it, at 13. She was stunned, and in complete denial, and was about to go and tell my mom that I’d told her about sex.

She kept saying “this is disgusting, my parents could never do that, you’re lying, I’m going to throw up”.

She was literally shaking, and took hours of convincing to get her to not tell my mom.

4. WHERE DID THEY HEAR THIS.

As a parent, I had to explain to my then 6 and 8 year old that no, sex isn’t “when a boy sticks his penis in a girl’s butthole.”

They had a friend who told them that’s what sex was and I just imagined the poor children who never learn any different going into sex for the first time thinking it goes in the booty.

We will explain it all in more detail at some point when they’re a little older but I just think they needed to know they weren’t getting accurate information.

3. There’s always that one buddy at school.

My buddy told me all about it.

The school or my father never mentioned it besides telling me not to have “sex” with my girlfriend years later.

2. You would think, with all of those kids, they’d be more open to discussing how they plan to populate the earth.

I was homeschooled, raised with cattle, and fairly conservative Mormon parents who did not acknowledge sex.

Having participated in several artificial insemination procedures by the age of 10, I thought for the longest time that pregnancy happened when an illiterate cowboy brought a teeny baby cow and shoved it up the ass of a momma cow, or when one got married you requested a baby and a cowboy would show up at your door to shove it on up there.

Luckily, we got the internet in 1998, and I finally learned that a woman got pregnant when a man with a mustache came on her face.

1. Just watch how the other animals do it!

Farm kids learned by example unless exceptionally dense. I remember my little sister asking why the bull kept trying to jump over the cows.

I mean, it’s not all that weird. Hundreds of years ago, people just…figured it out. We’re just one more animal on earth, after all!

If you fall into the “no sex ed” category, we’d love to hear your story in the comments!

The post People Who Had Zero Sex Ed Recall How They Learned the Basics appeared first on UberFacts.

June 30, 2020

Is Sex With People You Don’t Live With Now Illegal in the United Kingdom?

Obviously, 2020 has been an absolutely wild ride so far.

Yet, even in a year when headlines routinely outshine the most bizarre imaginations, some things still manage to be surprising. Such as the various news outlets this month which have been reporting that sex is now largely illegal in the UK. Or, more specifically, sex with people you don’t already live with. So what’s going on here?

Let’s take a closer look.

Photo Credit: iStock

The motivation

When you hear about a law like this, your mind might leap to antiquated, prudish, Puritanical motives surrounding sexuality, like how some U.S. states still technically have statues outlawing “sodomy.”

But that’s not what we’re looking at here.

In fact, the sex aspect is sort of incidental; collateral damage taken as a part of trying to repair a larger problem.

Photo Credit: iStock

It’s about the virus

Like pretty much the entire world, the UK has implemented lockdown restrictions this year to slow the spread of disease.

The things that are officially off limits by law (for now) are indoor gatherings, which, as Mashable reports, are defined as:

“when two or more people are present together in the same place in order to engage in any form of social interaction with each other, or to undertake any other activity with each other.”

Obviously, if you can’t go over to someone’s house to hang out, you can’t go over to have sex. At least, not without risking a fine.

Photo Credit: iStock

Is this new?

Sort of.

The main difference with the legislation that went into effect at the start of June is that before, the “guest” would be in trouble, but now, both/all parties involved could face consequences.

The main gist of the “stay the hell at home” guidelines really haven’t changed much, and in fact have generally loosened as the year has gone on.

Is there any way around this?

There are, of course, various exceptions to the lockdown rules, though certainly none of them are designed to give you an excuse to go get your freak on.

Social gatherings are still allowed in outdoor spaces, though outdoor/public sex is and always has been illegal and would likely get you into a whole lot more trouble than a simple lockdown violation, so no loophole there either.

Photo Credit: iStock

What happens to people who break this law?

Not much.

The default fine is £100 (about $123), which for most people is enough to sting but not enough to mess up your life. As with everywhere else, authorities in the UK really do not have the interest in nor the resources for running around punishing every last lockdown violation; the point of the law is get enough people to behave responsibly so that the virus can remain at least relatively under control.

For some, that may mean some more lonely nights.

What do you think of all this?

Let us know in the comments.

The post Is Sex With People You Don’t Live With Now Illegal in the United Kingdom? appeared first on UberFacts.

16. Be very, very careful.

15. Like a light switch flipped. Chills.

14. Remember you’re not the crazy one.

13. That makes it hard to get out.

12. Sometimes you don’t know until it’s over.

11. How on earth do you even date someone who talks about hurting animals?

10. The kids surely know they’re better off.

9. Oh hell no you do not touch my dog.

8. Cheating seems to be a common thread.

7. They like to isolate their victims.

6. Gaslighting 101.

5. His mother tried to warn her.

4. Hopefully that’s far enough.

3. Everything was a lie.

2. When his mask started to slip.

1. Nothing was real.

10. Ready, aim, fired

9. *sweats A LOT*

8. What a twist!

7. For not your eyes only

6. Glub glub

5. Stonks are down

4. Hell-no

3. Man hunt

2. Night of the living dead

1. Trust issues

1. No love.

2. Take it down a notch.

3. Everybody take a deep breath…

4. It takes time.

5. Maybe you’re toxic?

6. Don’t need to hear this one again.

7. Not for everyone.

8. Not a good outlook.

9. Not a chance.

10. Sad.

11. Just existing.

12. Canceled.

13. Interesting.

14. You must be a doctor!

15. This is very common.

1. This one right here.

2. It’s okay to change your mind.

3. Let it go.

4. Get this shit outta here.

5. All about me.

6. We all need a break.

7. A little patience.

8. Not a hoax.

9. A bunch of BS.

10. Sometimes, you have to let it go.

11. Work/life balance.

12. Not a competition.

13. People change.

14. Gimme my sleep!

1. The good stuff!

2. Little things.

3. The future.

4. Honor those who are gone.

5. Learned how to manage.

6. Limited time.

7. You’re in charge.

8. It’s worth it.

9. This. Right here.

10. A big world out there.

11. Keep on truckin’.

12. A miracle.

13. The senses.

14. It’s a gift.

15. Not done yet.

16. To be human.

1. Get through the BS.

2. Your purpose.

3. All the small things.

4. Nearing the end.

5. Kiddos.

6. Found your happy place.

7. Music.

8. The road back.

9. Too much fun.

9. sweats A LOT