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15 People Share What Helps Them Cope with Their Anxiety

For any number of reasons, anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses seem to be even more common these days. People are always looking for ways to cope (outside or in addition to modern medication) and these 15 people are ready and willing to share the mechanisms that have worked for them.

#15. Running.

“Exercise- I find running has helped me a lot and built up my confidence.”

#14. Just saying.

“Vodka, comrade.”

#13. Counting backward.

“Counting backwards in a foreign language and or basic math.”

#12. The happy painter.

“Watching Bob Ross! His voice is so soothing, and he exudes positivity. Wrapping up in a blanket, touching something soft, or running my hands under warm water also help. I also have a squeezable pineapple keychain with little popping eyes that helps me re-focus when I’m on the go.”

#11. Reaffirmation.

“Deep breaths when a heavy feeling is preventing me from breathing correctly. (Shallow panicked breathing) So countering whatever it makes me want to do.

I have to remind myself that not everything is the end of the world. Even if I might feel like it is. Even if I feel all hope is lost and everyone hates me. I can’t ‘indulge’ myself in these thoughts. They only spiral out of control if I focus on them.

I remind myself that I can do things and that no one judges me. (At least not as harshly as I do myself) No one wants to see me fail. No one would be happy if I disappeared out of their lives. If they didn’t want me as their friend, I wouldn’t be their friend. They don’t invite me to things out of pity. Strangers on the internet don’t automatically hate me. Written text is hard to convey emotion.

That are things I know I should do. I should tell myself these things but as you probably know. It’s not always as easy as this. Tbh I’m not the best at dealing with my anxiety. I panic very easily. And the feeling just drowns out any rational thoughts. But those reaffirmations is something I can do before the feeling drowns me.”

#10. Take a step back.

“Reframing the situation.”

#9. I’m golden.

“Weirdly enough, having a little mini breakdown helps a lot. I go home, go into the shower and freak out for a bit then all of a sudden I’m feeling a lot better. Add a game to that and some solitude and I’m golden.”

#8. Give in.

“Crying.”

#7. Creativity.

“Being creative helps me along with breathing exercises.”

#6. Temporary relief.

“Stretching. Doing a little, five-minute stretch session makes me feel a lot better. It’s relief is temporary, but it helps a lot and is easy to do.”

#5. It helps me so much.

“Something I have been doing recently is talking to myself. I get bad anxiety when I’m driving sometimes, so I’ll turn off the radio, focus my mind, and speak to myself out loud. Really try to believe what you’re saying. Instead of saying “you’re gonna be fine” try saying “you’ve dealt with this before and you know you will come out the other side.” It helps me so much to hear my own voice. It sounds silly and I’ll admit it is a bit strange, but dammit if it doesn’t help me a ton.”

#4. But also.

“Meditation, and deep breathing exercises. But also pharmaceuticals.”

#3. An important first step.

“Forgive myself for feeling anxious and then step back and work out how I got there and discard what isn’t valid and work through the emotions / feelings that are.

Forgiving myself is an important first step or I end up in a spiral when I get anxious about being anxious and so on.”

#2. Every single day.

“Meditation. Breathing exercises. Positive thinking. Not just for a week but every single day. Make it a habit. Set goals. Meditation in particular has helped me a lot. Also don’t be afraid to talk about it with family and friends. Just knowing that someone understands what you’re experiencing also helps.”

#1. You were ok.

“Sometimes when I’m having a “there’s-no-hope/no-tomorrow” kind of episode, I remind myself about the last time I felt that way, then I ask myself a question. What happened between the last time you felt this way and now? You were ok. You were ok and you will be ok again. <3″

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10+ People Dish on Which Minimum Wage Jobs Should Pay Way More

There are a lot of jobs out there that most people wouldn’t want – and for some reason, the people who take them aren’t compensated very well for picking up the slack. I bet you can think of a few off the top of your head, but these 12 people had some pretty good takes on which ones deserve better pay and why.

#12. A pitiful amount of time.

“Care assistants that travel to the patients house usually in their own transport with a pitiful amount of time to spend with the patient and nearly zero time allowance to get to the next patient. They are also expected to lift patients in and out of bed or a bath which can lead to them injuring their back.”

#11. Very demanding.

“Childcare! You have to get CPR and first aid certs and do a bunch of technical training. You’re on your feet, moving and active all day (for older students nap time is a lie and they will try and come bother you about everything). You have to deal with sometimes upwards of 15 kids for 12 hours a day.

Amd you’re barely making $10 an hour. It’s a very demanding job.”

#10. A bonus every time.

“dishwashers should get a bonus every time they clean a grease trap!

#9. Pay may vary.

“Emergency Medical Technicians.

Granted, depending on the area/agency/company they work for, the pay can vary. However, there was a short period where I worked for one company who gave us “raises” to minimum wage after the minimum wage increased. We were making $0.50 above minimum, but the increase was by $0.75. So for quite some time, it was a minimum wage job.”

#8. Longer than expected.

“I’ve always thought minimum wage cleaning jobs don’t seem worth it. You don’t get that many hours and they expect too much in too little time.

When I had a cleaning job they paid me for a set ammount of hours but the job always took longer than estimated. Some times getting paid half of what minimum wage was for the hours.”

#7. On quotas.

“Any retail job that has quotas you have to sell things by that doesn’t give commission.”

#6. It’s gotta change.

“Cooks. For what they are paid and what they can typically do job-wise, they are the most critically underpaid job-wise. What I find absolutely infuriating is guys who’ve been doing it for decades, even with certifications or degrees, still usually barely earn above $13/hour.

By cooks too, I mean non-fast food. I’m all for fastfood getting better wages, but actual restaurant cooks with refined skill sets are barely making more. I’ve watched my share of head chefs rapidly age and get beaten by the workload, causing them to drink, do drugs, smoke, etc…

It’s gotta change. Food is such a primal and basic need. We can’t underpay the people giving us good food, otherwise no one will want to have those jobs.”

#5. Someone’s life.

“Pharmacy technicians, pay them as much as fast food workers, even put in drive-thrus, but if you mess up an order, it could be someone’s life instead of their lunch.”

#4. Hardly a livable wage.

“Animal handlers at zoos. It isn’t minimum wage, but it’s damn near close to it.

These people get masters degrees in how to care for and handle these animals only to get paid a hardly live able wage.”

#3. I’ve literally saved people.

“Lifeguarding. I have literally saved people from drowning and am the most trained person on sight, yet i make 8 bucks an hour.”

#2. Truth bomb.

“All of them. Nowhere in the United States can a full-time minimum wage employee afford a modest two-bedroom apartment (here).”

#1. All while smiling.

“CNAs. They get harassed, bit, puked on, clean up poop and other bodily fluids all while smiling or at least being polite/friendly. They deserve way more than minimum wage.”

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15 People Reveal the Piece of Conventional Wisdom They Think Is Total Crap

My personal pet peeve is the saying that “In the end it will be okay – if it’s not okay, it’s not the end,” largely because it’s total crap. But there are plenty of pieces of wisdom or common sayings that drive people mad.

Here are 15 people who shared the ones they think are complete baloney.

#15. Outdated advice.

“Starve a fever.

You need energy to power your immune response, don’t rely on 14 century medicinal advice.”

#14. Incorrect.

“There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”

Yes, there is. The notion that there isn’t is just a self-serving publicists’ lie; a way of saying that everything can be spun if you just hire the right publicist. But it’s just not true. Bad publicity can wreck careers, tank companies, cause bank runs, prompt suicides and murders.

No publicist in the world is going to get Harvey Weinstein’s career back on track; Theranos will never recover from Carreyrou’s pieces in the Wall Street Journal.

I think most people know that it’s not really true, but for some reason I keep hearing it said as though it were genuinely an axiomatic truth—as though being universally loathed were genuinely better than being unknown.”

#13. Not a good piece of advice.

“Live every day like it is your last one.” That is just not a good piece of advice”

#12. How many times.

“listen to your heart.”

No no no. Think things through rationally and do the right thing no matter how you ‘feel’. You know how many times I’ve had to get up to go to work or go for a run when my heart was telling me to go back to bed or eat chocolate in front of the TV?”

#11. Sometimes.

“‘Violence never solves/solved anything.’

Yeah, tell that to history.

Sometimes, a good swift ass-kicking is the only response on the table.”

#10. Do what you love.

“Do what you love, and the money will follow.” This is not true most of the time.”

#9. Not anymore.

“He only picks on you, because he likes you.”

#8. How about that?

“Finish your plate”. How about “stop eating when you’re full”.”

#7. Go get it.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

Bullsh*t, go get it.”

#6. The universe conspires.

“Everything happens for a reason. Well technically it does but that reason could be chance, mistake etc. Sometimes the universe conspires to collectively fuck you.”

#5. Idiocy.

“Most of the bullshit that comes from advice on dealing with ‘bullies’ at school.

Usually from people that clearly have never had to deal with bullying in any form. Some of the ridiculous ones I’ve seen have been along the lines of “Laugh with your bully, they’ll have no reason to bully you and leave you alone!”

Idiocy.”

#4. No means no.

“Don’t take no for an answer.”

#3. Except when you’re tired.

“Never go to bed angry.” Not all problems can be solved before bedtime and you aren’t required to accept someone’s b.s. because it’s bedtime.”

#2. Pyramid scheme.

“The US food pyramid.”

#1. Ok, so no.

“ignore the bully”

Ok, so no.

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12+ People Reveal Their Deepest, Darkest Secret

Buckle up, friends – you may be about to read some things you can never unsee.

#15. I realize now.

“I was really horny, but my family was around so my solution was to go take a shower and choke the chicken in there. At the time I didn’t have a phone case on my phone since my previous one broke. I was getting pretty close standing in the shower so I went to set my phone in basket on top of the toilet where my wallet and stuff was, but instead I accidentally dropped my phone on the tile floor and the screen was completely shattered. I immediately realized I couldn’t easily explain this to my dad, so my solution was to finish my shower and get dressed, then go to the basement stairs and slip down the stairs and get scratched up and let my phone fall. I then went upstairs with my bleeding knee and broken phone and say I fell down the stairs, and that it broke my phone. I immediately got sympathy from my family and didn’t get in trouble. Nobody knows that I threw myself down the stairs and didn’t just slip. I realize now that I probably could have just said I fell, but at the time I felt I had to actually do it.”

#14. No one knows.

“I had a threesome with a couple i met online.

i was arrested last year and no one knows.

I cheated on my taxes.”

#13. I’ll never forgive myself.

“I blame myself for one of my best friends passing away. He lived across the country but I stopped talking to him when we both delved way too far into hard drugs and I blamed him for it secretly. A year later he was found dead and the last time I saw him I was barred out on Xanax. I’ll never forgive myself for that. I could and should have been there for him.”

#12. Religious disbelief.

“I would probably never consider myself an atheist, but I certainly don’t believe in many of the core tenants of my professed religion and I have very serious doubts about most of the others. The biggest problem is I’ve come to these conclusions only after recently marrying my very conservatively religious wife, and taking a job at said religious institution as a minister. I’m in a bad place right now.

Edit: Thanks a lot to everyone who has commented with advice, philosophy, and consolation. I have read every comment up to this point, and it has honestly put me a bit at ease to hear from you all. I’m going to turn off my notifications but I love all of the open discussion so feel free to continue commenting!”

#11. I find it annoying.

“I’m a mom but I hate being around other moms. I’m not even sure why but I find it annoying? I also hate talking about our kids all the time and nothing else.

Edit: I also have part of a tattoo that I secretly like even though I give people a bs excuse as to why I got it so I don’t seem like an idiot.”

#10. Just in case.

“My wife has a ceramic mug that she uses all day everyday to drink water. As long as I’ve known her she’s used the same mug. 5 years ago shortly after we moved in together, I found the same mug on eBay. That replacement mug sits in a bonx box at my office, just in case the day comes that I accidentally break the original.”

#9. Still ashamed.

“I was never fully potty trained until 7

I cringe at that every day.”

#8. Family secrets.

“I was molested by my grandpa from about age 5-9. I never told my parents or friends but did tell my therapist. I drunkly told my (also drunk) fiancé after about 2 weeks of dating but he’s never brought it back up. I don’t think he remembers. I don’t plan on telling him.

As payback, my step grandmother left me a diamond ring that just appraised for over $30k a year ago among other jewelry that appraised for about $5k. No one in the family understands why she left that to me and I’m not saying a word.”

#7. Extreme measures.

“I faked a seizure to get out of a wedding once.”

#6. Fantasy Al Gore.

“The very first time I ever touched myself in a sexual way I was in the 4th grade and fantasizing about Al Gore.”

#5. Someone knows.

“I have one testicle.”

#4. Small sense of satisfaction.

“I peed in my dad’s bottle of bacardi. He drank from it every night and was a raging alcoholic when I was younger. Anytime he acted like an asshole, I’d have this small sense of satisfaction in the back of my mind that no matter what he said or did, he drank my piss.”

#3. The last laugh.

“If anybody remember’s the toy “Sock’em Boppers”. Basically they’re blow up boxing gloves that are shaped kind of like lawnmower tires. They didn’t need to strap or tie around your wrist to stay on because at full inflation the hand insert was tight enough to snug your wrist.

Well one day I’m lying on the couch and my little brother decided to wack me in the side of the head with one when I wasn’t paying attention. His fun was cut short however: he immediately took off the bopper and lamented that it was wet inside the hand insert and that it stunk. Confused, he walked away.

I had been using it for a pocket vagina.”

#2. A light reminder.

“When I was 15 I tried to kill myself. My parents where out of town for the weekend and on that Saturday night i went into there medicine cabinet and took an ungodly amount of every pill in there (to this day i have no idea what i took) wrote out a long drawn suicide note, locked my door and fell asleep on my bed. Sunday morning my parents came home much earlier that i expected. I had left a small desk lamp on in my room and when my parents got home they tried to get into my room to turn off the light. I was obviously unresponsive and my parents freaked out so much that my dad broke down the door to my room. My dad shook me awake asking me a million questions angrily like why was the door locked, why I wasn’t responding and what was wrong with me. I groggily lied and told them i was super tired and didn’t feel good. They hesitantly believed me and left my room. When they left i grabbed the note and destroyed it. Went out into the living room and cried on my moms shoulder for what felt like hours. When she asked me what was wrong i just told her i had a really bad weekend and nothing else. To this day my parents joke about how i sleep like the dead, not knowing how close i was to actual death. I have never told my parents what happened that weekend, or how they unknowingly saved my life. To this day i still own that little desk lamp that i left on that night, and turn it on whenever I’m feeling depressed as a reminder that all you need is a little light to get you through the darkest of times. This was 16 years ago next month.”

#1. Painfully aware.

“I’ve lost weight in the past year and have been exercising and packing healthy lunches for work. My friends and coworkers comment about my weight loss and fitness level. But I dread my days off because then I’m home alone and I binge eat massive quantities of food and throw it all up. Multiple times throughout the day until my husband comes home. I’m an RN and I am painfully aware of how I am damaging my self.

Edit: holy shit, I did not expect this much support. I’m overwhelmed! I was sitting on the swing in my back yard with my husband and 3yo son when I switched accounts to share this. It physically hurt just to type it out and read the words. It’s heartbreaking to see how many others are suffering and hiding their own ED. I know I need help but I’ve always been the “strong” one in our family and I feel ashamed to admit that I am such a god damn mess. Thank you all for taking the time to reach out, its oddly comforting coming from total internet strangers ❤”

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12 People Share the Most Unbelievable Thing That Ever Happened to Them

Sometimes, things happen your friends won’t believe – like, if it happened in a book or movie, you’d roll your eyes because there’s no way it could happen.

For these 12 people, though, it definitely did.

#12. Within a month.

“I worked in steel shops for a while, this one day the foreman is lifting about 12 tons of steel beams with the crane and the block failed in spectacular fashion. The load came crashing down and landed about 8 inches from the operator. The poor guy shit himself and within a month all his hair turned grey. Had I not seen it all progress, I’d have never believed it.”

#11. He thought he was invincible.

“My great grandpa knew this guy in Germany; they were building this hotel or something (all i known is that it had multiple stories). Well the guy was plastered because they were drinking beers on the job, he was on the top floor and he ended up falling on the steps. He rolled down all of the stairs on every floor, as well as falling through the parts that were still being built. Everyone was positive he was dead, but he stood up and basically thought he was invincible.

After the incident, they all decided to go to a pub to celebrate. While they were there the guy got super cocky and decided to show everyone in the pub how he survived his fall. He had everyone stack all the tables on top of each other like stairs and decided to roll down it. He died instantly.”

#10. Never found.

“When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there.

At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn. After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn’t a little crank auger, it’s a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end.

So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever’s down there he’ll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears – but this doesn’t happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up.

By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and figure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn’t remove. The motor is really straining – you know that sound an electric motor makes when it’s working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the room.

Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl – and it’s a shower curtain.

The staff is dumbfounded. They’re trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it’s clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence?

While they’re discussing this, the room phone rings. The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it’s the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, they manage to get the story out of her:

The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl.

The actual clog was never found.”

#9. Too unbelievable for audiences.

“In the Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916, which were a basis for Jaws, the attacks stopped after a hunting buddy of Teddy Roosevelt’s beat the shark to death with a piece of broken oar. Peter Benchley, and subsequently Hollywood, decided it was too unbelievable for audiences.”

#8. Saving the day.

“I was at the beach with my wife and kids. My teenage daughter got hit by a good size wave and lost her glasses in the surf. She was super upset as she’s pretty much blind without them, has no spare and we’re not going home for days.

I ran out into the surf to try and find them knowing it’s a total long shot. I search for maybe a minute, already about to give up because of how unlikely I am to find them when I spot them, dive into the waist high water and grab them, saving the day.”

#7. It wasn’t a dog.

“Not me, but my mom.

She got home from school as a kid, saw a big white dog on her porch, and went to ask my grandma if she could pet it.

It wasn’t a dog, it was an arctic wolf that escaped from the zoo.”

#6. IRL.

“If a guy named Weiner sent dick pics in a movie, I wouldn’t believe it. Yet, Anthony Weiner did that IRL.”

#5. Ironically.

“During the development period of Ridley Scott’s Gladiator, there was a scene written for the character of Maximus where once he’d become a famous gladiator he’d do a product endorsement for a brand of olive oil.

The reason for this was historical accuracy, gladiators actually did paid endorsements for products, however because the concept seemed so anachronistic the scene was dropped, ironically to improve the sense of historical accuracy.”

#4. Like nothing happened.

“I saw a mugger walk up to a 70 something year old lady and try to steal her bag. He grabbed it she tugged back and smacked him in the face with it and told him to go fuck himself and just continued walking like nothing happened.”

#3. He survived.

“Michael Malloy- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Malloy

Tl; dr, a known drunk in an NY bar had (unbeknownst to him) a life insurance policy taken out on him by some fellow bar patrons who conspired to kill him and to cash in on the policy. Their attempts varied from covering him in water and leaving him in a park to freeze, serving him a nail sandwich, hitting him with a car, and more. He survived five attempts on his life. I cannot imagine the look on the others guys faces when he just kept returning to the bar.”

#2. World goes to sh*t.

“The whole assassination of Franz Ferdinand fiasco. 1st attempt failed, went for a sandwich, target accidentally drives past you in an alley, world goes to shit.”

#1. The silkworm emerged.

“I use to be a logger out west and had an incident that was right out of a movie. We had just taken our lunch break and were working on a fairly steep hill. We had found a silk worm and a few of us were holding it during the break (has to do with the story). Another crew above us started working a few minutes before us and the few of us below were just getting out saws back up and about to move out. We suddenly hear a loud “ROCK” shout from above. An Indiana Jones size boulder had been knocked loose and shot out from about 30 feet above us.

The three of us below saw it and dove out of the way. It proceed to crash into out packs and shatter into two giant boulders and it kept on rolling. We started yelling “ROCK” in case anyone was down there and the boulders eventually hit trees and stopped near a level area. We went back to our packs and my buddies is completely destroyed. He had a pot in his bag that he used for lunches and it was smashed.

We started to clean up and the silk worm emerges from the smashed pot like nothing happned. It always reminded me of a Disney film, where the cartoons get hit with something that would surely kill it in real life but it just bounces back up.”

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15 Parents Confess the Worst Thing They’ve Done in Front of Their Teenager

Parents aren’t perfect, and let’s face it – by the time you kid is a teenager, they are probably already well aware of that fact. Even so, I’m not sure some of these 15 kids were entirely prepared for the moment their parents did this.

#15. Just bemused.

“Went to my 12 year old son’s end of season dinner for his sports team, just an informal get together at a local family pizza place on a Friday night. One of the parents brought multiple cases of wine with him (wine salesman) and we all went a bit nuts. I don’t drink much these days so it hit me extra hard. Apparently when we were walking home I was hiding in the bushes then leaping out at random people pretending to be a Nosferatu type vampire and hissing at them. Hissing! My poor kid was mortified. Ps I’m a hobbit sized woman so the people passing weren’t scared by me, just bemused/annoyed.”

#14. Oh god.

“Not the parent but my boyfriend in high school was having a friend stay over and he forgot something at home and he went in to grab it and walked in on an orgy. We all felt so bad for that kid like… Oh god…”

#13. Never watched Tarzan again.

I woke up at night to grab some food, as I walked to the stairs I saw my dad crawling naked on the stairs making sounds like Tarzan on it’s way to my mom. never watched Tarzan again.

#12. We laugh about it now.

“My husband left us when my daughter was nine. I was single until last year when left she high school and went to college.

When she was fifteen she was supposed to be staying the night at a friend’s house so I had a friend of my own over. We got a little drunk and started hooking up on the couch and I got his pants down and he had the biggest rig I’ve ever seen in person. I went down on him.

And then my daughter came home early because her friend got sick. She walked in on me with this guy’s giant penis in my mouth and went “Mom what the fuck?! Holy shit!” and ran out of the room.

We were all mortified.

EDIT: Holy hell this blew up. No I don’t want to see your dicks. His size was only important to the story because it was big enough to make my poor daughter’s reaction go from mortified to just shocked, then back to mortified. No life isn’t a porn movie. She and I laugh about it now.”

#11. Folded up.

“Late, but funny. My girlfriends dad came home late after a night of drinking when she was a kid, didn’t know my girlfriend was having her friends for a sleepover. he stumbled in her room to give her a kiss goodnight and tripped over a cot in the middle of her room. he was confused as to why it was there, so he did the nice dad thing of putting her cot away for her. turns out there was a teenage girl sleeping in said cot that got folded up. Makes for good storytelling.”

#10. Home unannounced.

“Hope this qualifies: With our daughter away at college the wife and I would take advantage of many situations to do the bump-bump. One day I came home from work and I heard the shower running. I went into the bathroom and reached inside the shower curtain and pinched her ass. All of a sudden I hear this voice say, “what the fuck dad?” Apparently our daughter decided to come home for the weekend unannounced. I think I was more fucked up over it than she was.”

#9. The worst thing I could think of.

“The worst thing I could think of was my dad yelling at some guy that stole a parking space he was waiting for… this thread makes me appreciate having such a good childhood.”

#8. I got caught.

“I got caught masturbating. Didn’t hear them come in, they threw open the shower curtain to prank me. Couldn’t look ’em in the eye for a week.

Edit: The prank was the bucket of freezing cold water they were about to throw on me, not just ripping the curtain open to expose my shame.

Also, my top comment is about masturbating. Not sure if I should be proud or ashamed!”

#7. My stepdad’s fault.

“Kinda funny. When I was about 12, my mom threw a wooden cutting board at my stepdad. He dodged it, and the cutting board obliterated some super fancy antique set of spice storage jars my mom held dear to her heart. This was, of course, my stepdad’s fault.”

#6. Thought I was alone.

“Thought I was alone with my wife in the kitchen. Shoved my hands down her backside, started grabbing her butt like it was bread dough. Told her I was going to **** her until she passed out. We are into it and then I look up and lock eyes with my son. He doesn’t look traumatized or grossed out. He just starts laughing like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen. I’m telling you: two decades later and I’d still drop everything to grab my wife’s butt. She’s a hotty!”

#5. Guess what?

“My daughter was 17 when this happened:

An old friend called me and wanted to hang out so I said sure. I’m not a drinker but occasionally I’ll smoke weed. Until then I’d only smoked out if pipes and occasionally a doob. My friend handed me this weird looking pen thing and thinking it would be like a normal high I hit it hand three times pretty hard.

This wasn’t like smoking a doobie.

I was the highest I had ever been and my friend saw this and took me home. It happened that my daughter was home (summer) when I got through the door. I went directly to my room thinking I could just sleep this off. Unfortunately I am one of those people who gets ravenous when I get high and I was in no way able to cook anything. So I’m thinking about what I had in the kitchen and my brain flashed on cornbread. I could make cornbread. It turned out I couldn’t and I gave up after mixing the ingredients. So I’ve got raw cornbread mix and I’m really God damn hungry so my messed up brain just says “Fuck it. Eat the cornbread.” And I did.

About halfway through the bowl my daughter comes in the kitchen. There is no way in hell I can hide eating uncooked cornbread so I looked at her and said “hi! Guess what???” Her answer ? “Mom, I know you’re high.”

The story is not over.

An hour later I’m still high watching YouTube. I happened to be watching something like this (https://youtu.be/rGOOlcdpfLg). My daughter is crazy talented with makeup. I am not. She already knew I was stoned anyways so I asked her to give me a makeover like that. She did but it turned out terrible. The reason it was so bad was because I turned on my webcam just to watch transformation during the process. I could not stop laughing at how ridiculous I looked the longer she spent on my face which made her laugh.

She still gives me shit about 5 years later.”

#4. Could not stop laughing.

“Going to a movie with my 15 year old, getting out of the car I turn just wrong and twinge my back. She asks whats wrong and I say “I threw my back out humping your mom last night.”

She is looking at me like a deer in headlights, and I cannot stop laughing, which incidentally did not help my back.”

#3. Just any man.

“Friend was the parent. Found him in complete shock saying he was trying to stay calm, but knowing he’d just messed up with his teenage daughter.

Before breakfast at the start of what was going to be a non-stop busy day he decided to shoot a foreplay text to his girlfriend about some kinky thing he was going to do to her that night.

At the table he decided to sneak it in while his daughters went into the kitchen to grab the food… only he accidentally sent it to one of them… and it notified on her phone as they were walking back to the table.

He said the girls sat, and the one asked why he just texted her. He said “hmm?” – as he quizzically watched her eyes process what she read, look at him with betrayal, and then his heart slammed to a stop.

He realized what happened too late, or he said he would’ve dove across the table and knocked the phone out of her hand.

Cue a profuse apology and long address to many tearful questions about how daddy wasn’t lying that every man should respect women – it’s just that some women want to have certain things done and said when it’s only supposed to be a private matter between two consenting adults.

She now is over it, but from then on he went from being her hero, to just an any man.

Edit: for clarity”

#2. Nothing to see here.

“This happened to my husband. We had a whole gaggle of teenage kiddos over at our house one Friday night. My husband had a few beers, and then snuck off behind the garage to have a smoke. He doesn’t smoke in front of me since I quit. He had bummed a really strong cig, and it made him super dizzy. Just as he was keeling over, a group of teenagers came along the path just in time to see him fall over onto the lawnmower. He pretended to be getting ready to mow, which made them howl with laughter. They still talk about “that time Dad fell and tried to cover it up by saying he was going to mow at 11pm”

#1. A pony named Speedy.

“Shit I am so late to the party, but ..

My dad always tells the story of when he was 6 or 7 and his father (my grandpa) came home from a rowdy night of drinking. My dad says my grandpa sidled slowly into the kitchen with a rope in his hand and my grandma, who was sitting at the kitchen table, asked what he had done.

He then led a miniature pony into the kitchen.

The pony was named Speedy, he bit like a motherfucker and would never let anyone ride him, and one day he ran off. They lived around a lot of farmland so we like to think someone took him in and got the devil out of him.”

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12 People Reveal Why They’re Still Single

It’s one thing to ask your friends or family why they think you’re still single, and quite another to self-assess. These 12 people took a frank look in the mirror and share with the world the truth (in their eyes) about why they haven’t found that special someone.

#12. Wine and takeaway pizza

“I really can’t be bothered to put myself out there. I’m a lazy fuck and I’d much rather laze around with friends than go out and meet people. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, but I’m also a hedonist who likes lounging in pyjamas in my bed. Give me wine and takeaway pizza any day.”

#11. A hard truth

“Because even though one is the loneliest number, two can be bad as one.”

#10. It must be

“Probably I am just too handsome and nobody dare to approach, yes it must be.”

#9. But with a nice vocabulary

“I’m a boring & misanthropic hermit with a lot of trust issues and self loathing.”

#8. Because, people

“Because I hate people and finding someone to date is a pain in the ass.”

#7. The grind

“When you work 60 to 70 hours a week you don’t have time to talk to anyone.”

#6. Peace and quiet

“I’m introverted, self conscious, and I love peace and quiet, so I just don’t seek relationships. Also, the world is populated enough already.”

#5. Everyone has their thing

“My personality is as attractive as a turd.”

#4. Because of the kids

“I was widowed when my kids were 5, 9, 11 and 13. They came first in my life. Now that they’re grown and successful, I’m too set in my ways and comfortable on my own.”

#3. One is the happiest number

“Honestly, I don’t want a partner. People never believe me when I say it, but it really is true.

I was in a relationship for years, and I was depressed. At the time I didn’t realise what the problem was, but then when it ended (and after a period of not knowing what to do with myself) I became happier than I’d ever been.

I’ve been in a couple of short-lived relationships since, and they were fine, but I still wasn’t as happy as when I was single, so I had to end them.

I think the whole “You MUST find the person of your dreams otherwise you will be SAD and LONELY” is complete bullshit.

There are other things in life. Hobbies. Friendship. Family.

I do want children at some point though, so I may run into trouble there…”

#2. A sausage fest

“I’m a guy in an industry that is all guys. All my friends and friends of friends are married. It’s a real challenge to meet any women when your life is an endless sausage fest and no one you know is single.”

#1. Never settle

“I decided I’d rather have no relationship at all than one that doesn’t fit quite right.”

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15 People Own up to Believing in These Full-Blown Conspiracy Theories

Area 51 is real and the government has been keeping it a secret. We’ll never know who really killed JFK. The chickens used by KFC are headless, flightless “birds” that are never actually alive.

Whether you’re willing to admit to it or not, there’s probably at least one conspiracy theory that makes you wonder whether it could possibly be true. But these 15 people are sure they’ve found one that is legit.

#15. Everyone knows this

“The opioid epidemic in USA is from insurance companies being too cheap to pay for a real treatment.

Giving someone percocet is much cheaper than doing MRIs, surgery and physical therapy.

Especially true for car crash victims and being hurt on the job. Every personal injury attorney knows this.”

#14. Wake up, sheeple

“The hours between 3-5 Am are a hallucination brought about by sleep deprivation

Wake up Sheeple”

#13. Ladies, unite

“That women’s clothing doesn’t have proper pockets so they’re pushed to by purses and whatnot.”

#12. Put down your phones

“The Facebook app records everything you say to send you targeted ads.”

#11. They’re coming for us all

“bitcoin was created by a rogue AI.”

#10. It’s definitely weird

“Mattress stores being mob money laundering operations. There are too many of them that are always open with NO customers. It’s weird.”

#9. A sporting chance

“The NBA is rigged and Tim Donaghy wasnt the only ref rigging games for his own benefit.”

#8. A royal question

“No idea if this is basically conspiracy theory, but I 100 percent believe that Princess Diana was trying to run away from being murdered and got killed anyway.”

#7. I just assumed

“Octopuses are aliens.”

#6. The truth is out there

“Oklahoma City bombing was a bigger plot than we are allowed to know.”

#5. Secrets don’t make friends

“Taylor Swift is a lesbian and has been in a happy relationship with supermodel Karlie Kloss for years. Her latest album is about Karlie.”

#4. Damn the man

“The powers that be plant the seeds of fake conspiracy theories for internet conspiracy theorists to find and assemble. They then use social media algorithms to bubble the results. So any conspiracy theory that you read on the internet is just what The Man wants you to believe.”

#3. Troll masters

“IHOP claims their new name (IHOB) stands for “international house of Burgers” but it’s definitely “international house of Breakfast”, and they’re all just trolling us.”

#2. Tech games

“Progress in every technology is thwarted by big business who protect their interests by slowly letting it come to the public sphere.”

#1. He didn’t get what he deserved

“Hitler survived and became a goat herder in Argentina. I saw a declassified file on the CIA official website and it looks like him. I’m training to be a history teacher so I won’t teach that in school but if I’m asked in private…. Yo soy führer.”

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12 Discontinued Products People Want to See Make a Comeback

I don’t know about you, but I really miss some of the toys I played with as an 80s kid (and some of the food that will probably one day have given me seven kinds of mutated cancer). If there are products that you miss, check out this list – these folks have come up with some good ones!

#12. The good old days

“The original formulation for Pyrex glass that wasn’t so brittle.”

#11. Cheesy goodness

“Planters cheese balls (from the can), or their cheese doodles.”

#10. Old school

“In Germany, there used to be this ice pop in a cup that was full of these fizzy bits that fizzed up on your tongue. It was called Blizz and came in two flavours, lemon and cola, and was intensely sour and really refreshing. It was released in 1994 or so and stopped a few years after. Even after so many year, I totally miss it.”

#9. Bring on the choking hazards

“Cool toys in kids’ cereal boxes.”

#8. All time favs

“I can’t find if anyone has mentioned it already but oh my gatos WENDY’S SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS. All time favorite fast food item.”

#7. More LEGOs, please

“All the Lego products they no longer make, like Mars.”

#6. My jam

“Those lifesavers hard candies with the cream and flavor (I loved strawberry).

And Philadelphia cream cheese bars. Those were my jam in middle school.

Edit- creamsavers and cheesecake bars. Thanks to those of you who reminded me haha.”

#5. Fry them up!

“Fried apple pies from McDonalds.”

#4. The perfect combination

“There were these peanut butter snacks made by Planters, I don’t know what they were called. They were made out of the stuff that ice cream cones are made out and filled with peanut butter. They were shaped like little peanuts. I miss the hell out of those.”

#3. Great memories

“Alpha Bits cereal.

There wasn’t anything special about the flavor (very lightly-frosted cheerio-like flavor). But every morning before pre-school and kindergarten, I would eat these for breakfast with my mom and we’d play the ‘Alpha Bits game’. I would randomly pick a letter from my bowl, and we would take turns coming up with words that started with that letter. When we couldn’t come up with anything anymore, we would shout ‘Eat It!’ and I’d eat the letter. Yes, breakfast took a while, but it’s a great memory.”

#2. Taco Bell dreamin’

“Just going to list my Taco Bell wishes:

Baja Sauce

Spicy chicken crunchwrap

Volcano sauce

Diet Baja Blast (it existed for like 2 seconds, I swear to God)

Chicken Flatbreads

Beefy Crunch Burrito with the hot fritos

That’s just off the top of my head. All of those are better than trying to make any deep-fried chicken concoction they keep offering, which is all they seem to be doing these days.

Edit: The sauce on a Cheesy Gordita Crunch is a spicy ranch, not Baja.

Edit: Holy shit you guys love Chili Cheese Burritos”

#1. Please and thank you

“Full sized spare tires in cars… please and much thanks.”

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15 People Share the Awesomely Weird Way They Bonded with a Complete Stranger

Human beings can be hard. We’re gruff, caught up in our own crap, or sometimes just having a bad day. Which makes it all the sweeter when you magically bond with a random person over a shared interest, moment of need, or common experience.

#15. Dying together

“One of my best friends took me out for “proper” Caribbean food, the place was legit. Looked like somebody just took out most of the walls on the ground floor of their house and started serving people food. It smelled amazing. It looked amazing. I had my friend order for me because how the hell was I going to know what was good?

It was hot. Spicy like I wasn’t ready for. It was like a punch in the throat… and then being kicked repeatedly in the mouth as you were trying to recover. The heat kept growing every time you thought it had to plateau. My head started leaking. My eyes watered. My nose ran. It felt like smoke should have been coming from my ears or lava from my mouth.

I glance up and there’s the one other not-Caribbean-looking person going through the same thing a few tables over. Bright red and glistening with sweat, snot, tears, saliva just panting and looking helpless.

We never exchanged a word but we were together in that moment. The split second I caught his eye was sublime. Everything I wanted to say but couldn’t was reflected back at me. All I wanted was to be understood and I was.”

#14. Language barrier

“I was on a two week work rotation at a automotive plant down by Mexico city. My job was setting up some high precision measurement devices. One of the local interns came up to me and started asking all kinds of questions about my company’s equipment ( I think). Now, I dont speak a bit of Spanish beyond a few words and he did not speak English. He started to get real discouraged. Wanting to figure out what he was talking about, I got my phone and used Google Translate to ask him to use the phone. We sat in silence for the next two hours while I continued to work, passing my phone back and forth useing Google Translate to text each other. It was an odd experience and he was an awesome guy full of intelligent questions. I never went back to that plant but my coworker said he ended up doing his senior project on what my company was working on.”

#13. A moment of brilliance, witnessed

“I have a standing coffee date with my friend at this tiny boutique coffee shop in NYC. The line can get pretty crazy, but we get there early enough to get seats most of the time. He and I are enjoying our lavender lattes and chatting about life, and I am watching the line grow longer and longer.

The clientele at this coffee shop ranges from tourists to midtown office workers in their business formal/business casual wear. One of the office workers in line opens up his wallet before his turn so he can pay quickly. He drops his credit card and sticks out his foot to soften the blow.

His credit card falls and gets stuck in the seam of his leather shoe at a perfect right angle. He is standing there with his leg still sticking out, his jaw open as he stares at this card quivering. He looks around to see if anyone else witnessed this, and our eyes meet.

His eyebrows shoot up and he points at his shoe. I nod furiously and give him the thumbs up. It’s his turn at the register so he pulls the card out reluctantly and pays. After he gets his coffee he comes over.

“Oh my gosh did you see that?!”

“IT WAS AMAZING! YOU ARE A NINJA!”

“BEST START TO THE MORNING EVER!”

We high five, and he leaves with his large iced caramel bourbon latte.”

#12. There’s friendship in truth

“Dude was trying to sell me his mix tape every night as I’m walking into work for a solid week. After awhile I started ragging on him like “DAMN BRUH YOU STILL TRYIN TO SELL THAT SHITTY ASS MIX TAPE?!?!”

So for the past month when we pass each other in the parking lot we talk shit to each other to see who has the best insult of the night.”

#11. Joint laughter

“A few couples, gf and I included, were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, when a woman comes in with three or four small children. One couple had just finished eating and was walking toward the door to leave, when the smallest of the children walks right in front of the man and just stops directly in his path, maybe a foot in front of him, so he has to awkwardly stop and move around the kid. The kid’s mother snaps, “Say excuse me!” and the poor, shy woman who was with the man sheepishly let out an, “excuse me,” while looking at her feet, to which the mother just says, “not you.” As soon as that couple was out the door, everyone who had heard the whole exchange was cracking up over it.”

#10. Basically family

“I helped a guy on the bus figure out where to stop and told him what bus to catch next to get to his destination and he gave me a beer from his backpack. another guy recognized that it wasn’t a twist off so he whipped out his keychain bottle opener and opened it for me.

I never saw either of them again but they’re basically family.”

#9. Just go with it

“This took place years ago. I was 17, flying on board a DC-9. I was sitting on a window seat, the middle seat empty. Some guy of about 40 I think, who I later realised was a very nervous flyer (1st time?) sitting on the aisle seat. Anyway, coming in for landing, this guy grabs my hand. I turn in shock and look at him. The fear and shame I saw in his eyes really shook me. Well, we held hands till we landed and he left without a word. I’m a guy.”

#8. All you need is love

“Concerts. I’ve put my arms around people I’ve never spoken to and treated as if we’ve been friends forever

Edit. Reading your comments makes me happy. Lots of good memories at concerts”

#7. Pokemon love

“During Pokemon Go craze… saw this dude running towards my direction and I pointed to him where this Snorlax had appeared… he’s staying near my block so we exchange numbers and whatsapp each other when rare pokemon appears…. it’s crazy bonding with a random stranger for both 30+ guys playing pokemon lol”

#6. You can call me Camille

“I was waiting for a bus at, like, 6:30 in the morning and there was a homeless lady at the stop, just kind of hanging out. My experience with homeless people and public transportation hasn’t been the best so I was immediately hyperaware of my surroundings and her presence. She came over and started making small talk and I didn’t get the sense that she was dangerous (a stereotype, I know) and so I tried to keep the conversation going because I didn’t want to be rude or upset her.

She ends up telling me how she used to live in the area and how she used to be an actress but got into drugs and pretty much lost everything. She started telling me about her experience as a homeless person. She said she was reluctant to accept clothes from strangers because other homeless people have beaten her up and robbed her for having nice jackets or shoes. She mentioned that she prefers sleeping on concrete because when she would sleep on grass in public parks, she could feel bugs crawling on her at night. She mentioned that she once saw a fatal car accident, and saw how people left flowers and candles at the site, and how lucky the victim must have been to have so many people love them.

My bus arrived and I said, “Well, it was nice to meet you. I hope you have a good day! What was your name again?” And I will never forget the look of surprise on her face as she said, with tears welling in her eyes, “I…don’t…remember. But you can call me Camille.”

I never knew what this meant but I interpreted it to mean that nobody had asked her name in a long time or that nobody had taken the time to have a conversation with her in a long time. Maybe she just needed to be heard. I have never seen her again but I will always remember that experience, as uncomfortable as it made me at first.”

#5. The extra mile

“Truck driver ran out of fuel a mile from the truck stop I worked at with his young daughter in the truck. He walked to our store and I told the only other person working I was going to load up a five gallon bucket of diesel in my truck to get him to the pumps. We get to his truck and put the fuel in, won’t start of course because I was an idiot and didn’t think about needing to prime the filter. Go back for ten more gallons, prime it, finally get it started and he gets to the pumps to fill up. While he’s fueling I remembered I’d been killing our claw machine on my break earlier and I picked out a cute stuffed animal so when his daughter came in with him after fueling I could give it to her to make it seem like not such a big deal(she seemed very worried while we tried to get the truck going). It has been twelve years or so and I still have him on my Facebook and occasionally get to see updates on him and his lovely little girl ❤”

#4. That escalated quickly

“Ripped open a strict Muslim girl’s dress in public. She was in front of me on an escalator and got it stuck at the landing. I couldn’t pull her loose and she was freaking the fuck out, so I went the desperate measures route. We had a good laugh about it after!”

#3. Life changing encounter

“Years ago I took the train home late at night and right as I stepped into the train I saw/heard a girl crying in the seat-section next to me. I sat down but went to gave her a tissue after a while and asked her if she wouldn’t mind me sitting with her.

The minute I sat down she broke down completely and told me why she was crying. In our 24 minutes ride I knew about her situation – she was a foster-kid in her third family and the foster-dad kept hitting her and flirting with her. I called my mum who called child services and when we got to the train-station there was already someone who picked her up.

We stayed in contact for a few years and one day she messaged me that if I wouldn’t have talked to her, she would have killed herself that night.

We lost contact but I hope, she is safe.”

#2. In over your head

“Happened 4 days ago. i was on my scooter at the red light next to a guy on a motorcycle. I was looking at him, he was looking at me. I gave a bit of gas, he did the same. When the light turned green, i gave as much gas as possible and he did as well. Though in his case his motorcycle was far more powerful and he lifted of with his front wheel driving solely on his back one. He laughed, I laughed and drove away.”

#1. Not her date

“I was on a disaster date with another woman a while back. Before the date, she was super late to the bar and I struck up a conversation with the dude sitting next to me. We chatted for like an hour (she was SUPER late).

When she finally did arrive, my duderino at the bar was all ears. She went to the bathroom at one point; he leans over and says “I’m a straight man and I don’t think I’ve ever blundered as hard with a girl as she is with you.” And we proceeded to commiserate for a while till she got back. Even offered to buy my next round.

edit: for those asking, the date itself didn’t really go anywhere.”

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