People Talk About Where They’d Go if They Could Teleport Themselves Only Once

Are you ready to get weird, friends?!?!

Admit it, you’ve probably thought about teleporting before…but where do you go?

And, if you can only do it once, you better make it worth it, if you know what I’m saying.

Let’s get freaky-deaky with some folks on AskReddit who talked about where they’d teleport to if they could only do it once.

1. Sound kinda nice.

“I’d wait until I get mixed into some horror movie bullsh*t and then at the most climactic part of it I would just teleport to the Bahamas or something.”

2. What are you doing here?

“Mars, just to really confuse future astronauts.”

3. Not a bad idea.

“The closest planet that can support human life, but already has peaceful inhabitants.

And it would welcome an alien invader and not treat them the same way our planet would.”

4. An experiment.

“I would let scientists study me. Teleport anywhere they want, but have a massive amount of equipment recording everything humanly possibly on both ends of the jump.

I’d want humanity to have a chance at reproducing it.

This could be the most monumental boost to science in our lifetime.”

5. This is a good answer.

“To the road next to mine.

I just missed the ice cream man but I can hear his jingle there but I’m too drunk to drive and too unfit to run.”

6. Wow. Sad.

“I’d go back to when I was 6.

Keep my dad from leaving the house that day with whatever means I had.

He was hit by a train that day. I miss him.”

7. Getting back would be a problem.

“Probably 48°52.6′S 123°23.6′W. It is, as far as I know, the most remote point in any of our oceans (as far as distance from nearest land goes).

I’d want to just tread water for a bit, as far from land as I could ever possibly be. As small and insignificant as I could possibly be.

The only catch is that the post said I can only teleport once, so getting back would be a problem. I’d have to save this for a deathbed teleportation.

There’s something peaceful about the idea of just sinking into the black and becoming a precious resource for an environment that would otherwise be alien to me as a human.”

8. Love from abroad.

“To visit my girlfriend I haven’t seen since she left to study abroad last December that lives across the country from me.

She has high risk family so I can’t fly to see her either.”

9. Going to warn them.

“To another planet that is inhabited by other friendly beings.

I’d tell them, “Stay away from Earth. It is a total sh*tshow and you won’t like it. Seriously, too many problems and really no desire to fix them.”

10. The perfect crime.

“I would plan a bank heist, grab as much money as possible and teleport to another country.”

11. Find the answers.

“Area 51, for sure!

I’m dead curious to know what’s inside.”

12. Petra.

“I’ve wanted to see Petra in Jordan ever since I saw a picture of it in a 4th grade textbook, but I get really bad motion sickness in cars.

You can’t just fly/train into Petra, though. You’ve got to be driven there, and the drive does not look like a straight and easy highway.

I’d get there the regular way and then teleport home so that I could enjoy my time there knowing I wouldn’t have to experience the sickness a second time.”

13. We want the truth!

“Inside Disney’s vault.

I wanna know if those rumors of Walt Disney’s head being frozen are true.”

14. Good reasons.

“Germany.

I’m learning the language and I also really like a girl there.”

15. Take me home.

“Back home.

I moved from UK to USA 2 years ago and due to immigration restrictions, financial limitations and then covid (in that order).

I haven’t been able to go back home and see my family. So I would go see them.”

16. We found something…

“To Mars, to the highest point of Mt.Olympus.

When they finally do find my corpse, it is going to be the surprise of the millennia.”

How about you?

Where would you teleport to if you could only do it once?

Let us know what you think in the comments!

Thanks!

The post People Talk About Where They’d Go if They Could Teleport Themselves Only Once appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Things That Turned Out to Be Valuable That They Thought Were Junk

Let’s get trashy!

One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

Or maybe what one person THINKS is trash is another person’s treasure.

That certainly seems to be the case in these tales from people who found what they thought was junk but it turned out to be valuable.

Let’s check out some cool stories from folks on AskReddit.

1. Good quality.

“My grandfathers violin. Sat in my garage for years before I dug it out because I wanted to learn violin and couldn’t afford to buy one.

Turns out, it’s a pretty high quality violin (and celebrating its 100th birthday in a few months!)”

2. Junk box.

“Garage sale box of junk for $5.

Had a rare Eisenhower silver medallion that was for a meeting in South America.

It was on eBay for 30 seconds and sold for $500.

Telescoping Luke action figure. $300. I’m a coin dealer so I see some cool stuff.”

3. PBR.

“I collect Pabst Blue Ribbon stuff. I have a cup full of bottle caps.

The Pabst bottle caps have playing card numbers/suits under them. I haven’t gone through my caps in a while but I wanted to see if I was any closer to having a full deck.

So I empty my caps out onto the table and all of a sudden a coin falls out! A 1937 Washington quarter. 90% silver. I have no idea where it came from.

My weird cap collection found me some silver.”

4. Joy Division.

“In a shop, found a first pressing of joy divisions album “unknown pleasures” in almost perfect condition.

When I held it up to the light and saw that ruby glow (they’re translucent but only in very strong light), I nearly fell over!

Big fan. $2 well spent! Now worth about $150 here in Australia!”

5. Oops!

“A 1973 Honda 250 Elsinore. Picked it up for a hundred bucks. Rode it until it died put a couple hundred bucks in it rode it some more.

Eventually it wasn’t worth fixing and it was trashed. Learned later it could be worth as much as $10,000 in good shape”

6. It’s mine now.

“My grandfather worked a trade all his life.

He was doing some pipe work at a house, when the owner of said house asked if my grandfather wanted to buy an old sword for $10, but it was broken in half. My grandfather said sure, he would have the money the next morning.

His coworker went behind his back and bought the sword, so the home owner said he had another one fully intact, and sold it for $1.

The date on the hilt is 1863, forged during the American Civil war. It is now in my possession.”

7. Awesome!

“One of my dad’s friend’s fathers died in about 2000.

They were cleaning out his garage and found a banjo…they gave it to me “since I played guitar,” whatever they thought that meant in regards to banjoes.”

Anyway it was a late-‘20s Gibson. I dusted it and took it to the music shop I trusted most: it appraised at about $15,000.

I took it back to my dad’s friend, of course. First thing I said was, “so I got you a present from your dad…”

About a decade later my friend’s wife’s uncle left her “the old guitar in my closet.” It turned out to be an early 1960s Gibson ES-335. That one’s good for about $30,000.”

8. City dump.

“I found a LaBlanc clarinet in a city dump in perfectly good condition.

I called the company with the serial number. They told me it was one of 100 Bflat clarinets made in 1952 and worth $2,500.”

9. Hang on to it.

“My grandpa gave me a really good condition Han Solo and Tuan Tuan figure, I didn’t think it was a piece of junk, and still liked the look of it. He said, “take good care, hold on to it, and don’t open it.”

I never knew what he meant until I looked on amazon and eBay, people were selling them for hundreds!

Now I know what he means, as it collects dust, it also collects value.”

10. Rusted out.

“Me and my aunt found an old rusted piece of pin that’s the size of a coin

When we cleaned it, we found markings on it. We asked my aunt’s friend who works at a museum and he said it was most likely an earring from precolonial times of the natives in our country.

The museum bought it from us for around USD380 or about 20k in our money.”

11. Jackpot.

“Years ago a family friend found an old record at a garage sale.

Turned out to be one of two copies of a Velvet Underground recording. If I remember right, the original owner had worked with the band, passed away, and his wife sold a bunch of his records.

Family friend bought it for 75¢, and sold it for a cool $25,000 on ebay. A couple places even reported on it back in the day.”

12. Good deal.

“Saw an ad on Facebook of a bass for $30.

Bought it and it turned out to be a fender jazz bass which is like $600 on the fender website!”

13. Pearls.

“I bought some black pearls from a box of “junk jewelry” at an antique mall for $5 each for matching bracelet and necklace.

They turned out to be the real thing Tahitian Black Pearls, worth several hundred dollars.

I wear them on special occasions.”

14. Gold watch.

“My dads girlfriend found a gold watch in a thrift shop that was made in Switzerland for .50.

It sold for around 1,800.”

15. Hiding cash.

“My grandpa died when I was young and my parents had a garage sale to get rid of junk and they almost sold a cookie jar before checking what was inside and it was a wad of $100 bills.

Turns out my grandfather had a habit of hiding money in random places and he had false books hiding pearls, false bottoms in drawers hiding gold or cash and about $1000 in a bicycle’s left handlebar.”

Wow!

Have you ever found something you thought was junk that turned out to be worth something?

If so, tell us all about it in the comments. Thanks!

The post People Share Things That Turned Out to Be Valuable That They Thought Were Junk appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About “Pieces of Junk” They Found That Turned Out to Be Worth Some Money

I think we’ve all dreamed about finding some discovered item that we rush home with under our coat and, once safely at home, we examine it and discover that it’s something worth a lot of dough.

It’s never happened to me, but I think I still have some time to get lucky…

Here are some stories from some folks on AskReddit who found “junk” that turned out to be worth something.

Let’s take a look.

1. Wow!

“I found a small envelope with a few inches of wire in a junk shop.

Bought it (US$2) because it had some faded penciling about troy oz. Turned out to about 1.5 troy ounces of platinum wire.

Sold it for US$600 !”

2. Score!

“Years ago I bought a condo in foreclosure.

We couldn’t go inside, just look from outside and put in a bid. My bid won. When I went inside the place it was pretty trashed. I checked all the rooms, calculating the costs of getting it back into shape.

At the end of my walk thru I went into the garage and saw there was a car under a tarp. Hmmm …

I pulled the tarp back and saw a 1972 Barracuda in nearly mint condition.”

3. Good investment.

“A first or second edition of the Oregon Trail book.

It’s a bit damaged, so not that valuable, but still a few hundred more than the $15 I paid for it.”

4. Not a fake.

“Found a “fake” Cartier watch in Goodwill for $10.

Bought it because it still looked nice. But it’s a real Cartier watch and it’s worth $1000+.

Keeping it because I’d never buy myself something like that.”

5. Old guitar.

“Dad carried around a junk guitar for 50 years.

Ugly as hell sunburst Gibson acoustic (circa 50’s or 60’s can’t remember) that he eventually sanded down into something prettier. When I was learning he took it to be tuned up by our neighbor who owned a shop and was a collector.

Dude came back exasperated and told us that my dad had sanded about 50k off the guitar, and that it would have been totally worthless if he hadn’t left the logo on.”

6. Awesome!

“Old folded up piece of paper in the bottom of a box my dad had I found cleaning up the house, torn up and faded.

Turned out to be a 90 year old original Jean Carlu poster worth roughly $20,000 after spending $1,000 for restoration.”

7. A good flip.

“Someone gave me a hideous purse out of a box on its way to goodwill.

I sold it on eBay for $1,100. I’ve had some good flips, but that was the best.”

8. Estate sale score.

“I was at an estate sale and bought a few paintings sweet lady told me to take the last one I liked as package deal since I ran out of cash.

Turns out one of them is a pretty rare original print worth about $3,500 and I paid maybe 30$ for all 4 prints and paintings I wanted.”

9. Who knew?

“I found a book at a trash bin. The Wind in the Willows I never got to read it as a kid.

After finishing it I googled the edition date turns out its a collectible worth $300… Who knew?”

10. Good fortune.

“Bought a mid-century Ottoman for $75 at an estate sale in NYC.

Found out years later it’s worth $3,000.”

11. Ghosted.

“So my mom and I were helping a family friend deep clean the house to sell. (Not rich, but not poor) Well I found these cool colorful sketch-style art prints all rolled up in a corner of his shop, he told us that we could keep them, since he wasn’t much of an art guy.

Turns out the signatures on the prints was Dali. I had been to a Dali and Picasso exhibit in Rome, so I recognized the signature.

We had them appraised, they were worth quite a bit. Out of respect we told the guy who gave them to us. He asked for them back and then he ghosted us with the prints. We aren’t in touch with him anymore. Never found out what happened with them.”

12. It’s gold!

“When I was nine or ten years old, I found some metal clips and a brooch while playing in some old ruins. Since our city has been there since Roman times, it was obvious that it might be really old. But usually, that stuff isn’t worth much.

Showed it to the archeologists at the local museum and turned out it was gold. Everything. They asked where I found that, excavated the area (again) and found quite the stash of fine Terra Sigillata with coins and jewelry in it.

I was allowed ro keep three things and I chose a perfectly preserved dinner plate, a ring and a coin.”

13. The old owners.

“Found an old box under some insulation in my new house’s attic, opened it out of morbid interest and found a sega with a handul of games.

Out of the love of mine i contacted the old owners (i guessed they might love theirs like i do mine) they were so ecstatic to have it back.

Turns out that it was their sons, they had lost him when he was 8 and that sega plus a handful of other things were all they had left.

Might not have been worth loads of money but was definitely more valuable to them than any amount of gold.”

14. Priceless.

“When I was 17, I found a driver’s license on the ground from a guy who was 22 and resembled me a fair bit.

Rarely had a problem getting into bars or clubs with it. It was priceless.”

How about you?

Have ever discovered what looked like a piece of junk but it turned out to be valuable?

If so, please share your story with us in the comments.

The post People Talk About “Pieces of Junk” They Found That Turned Out to Be Worth Some Money appeared first on UberFacts.

Very High Quality Tweets That Will Meet Your Standards

Believe it or not, our panel of experts have been hard at work examining each of these tweets for quality, durability, and safety.

They have passed the most rigorous standards and received the highest levels of certification available in the industry.

By which I mean, I looked at them all and I laughed and now I’m showing them to you ’cause I feel like it.

You are most deeply welcome.

Check out these ten quality tweets that are fit to pass any inspection.

10. Breaking decent

Way to look on the bright side, I guess?

9. Coming to an arrangement

If you live in an apartment complex just know that your neighbors hate you now.

8. Chunked up

I need to see your data and your research methodology, please.

7. Getting a head

Maybe it’s an exciting new combination!

6. Just in time

Learning is for nerds.

5. Get with the program

Well something needs to get debugged.

4. Proof of purchase

“Will I need a record of the fact that I bought this tube of toothpaste? We can’t know. There’s just no way to know.”

3. Talk birdie to me

The longer you look at it the worse it gets.

2. Cutting deep

What if they’re deeply into making deep dish?

1. Top of the pile

And losing all your friends in the process!

I dare you to find higher quality tweets than that. Those are built to last. Quality craftsmanship. Those are the kind of solidly constructed tweets that make me proud to be a citizen of the internet.

What kinds of tweets do you like the most?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Very High Quality Tweets That Will Meet Your Standards appeared first on UberFacts.

Things That Exist Solely Due to Human Stupidity

Sometimes we come across rules or precautions that just seem so dang obvious, we wonder why on earth they even need to be stated. Perhaps it’s for legal reasons, perhaps it’s because at some point some person made a very stupid decision.

AskReddit users share the feelings on things that exist solely because of stupid people.

1. You would think it’s obvious…

“When my aunt died I ended up with my mom and uncle talking to the funeral home advisor.

When they were discussing cremation, the funeral advisor made my uncle sign a form indicating he understands cremation is irreversible.”

– cineboo

2. But apparently not

“When I was arranging for my mother’s cremation, both my sister and I had to sign the paperwork saying we agreed and understand it’s irreversible.

Apparently there have been numerous cases where one family member authorized a cremation and then afterwards, other family members got upset and wanted it undone.”

– ReadontheCrapper

2. As another user points out, he doesn’t get his powers from the cape:

“The warning on a Superman cape costume that warns product won’t give you the ability to fly.”

– blindgirlandherguide

3. I didn’t even think this was possible

“Do not iron this t-shirt whilst wearing it.”

– Fires_Of_Fury

4. Don’t make this harder than it has to be

“The signs on a stroller that says take the child out of the seat before folding.”

– immickolas

5. Lest we not forget the “Tide Pod Challenge”

“‘DO NOT EAT’ warnings on everything from washing pods to slug pellets.”

– LucyVialli

6. If it’s good enough for the animals, it’s good enough for me

“I went to a zoo, and in every animal exhibit there was a sign saying ‘Recycled water, do not drink.’

And you know that’s there for a reason.

Some stupid person broke into an exhibit to drink that nasty looking water.”

– 2lugz

7. I don’t envy this IT worker

“My job! – I work in IT. For the love of God if you depend on your computer for your job know at least a little about it. I would say that over 80% are for silly things. Some of the calls I have taken:

How do I keep my self from deleting my own files?

What do you mean you can not fix my broke laptop screen remotely?

I am not trying to connect to the internet, I am just trying to get my email.”

– tectuma

8. I like my Shamwow thank you very much.

“Anything an infomercial tries to sell you.”

– TheBlessedBoy99

9. Don’t be that person

“When I was in middle school my friends and I (like 15 12-year-old girls) basically took over a mall.

We were pretty rowdy and obnoxious. I know a few people shoplifted (not me lol), one of us threw up in the food court, and we mobbed a minor celebrity.

Now that mall splits up groups of larger than 3 kids. Oops. Sorry.”

– KTnash

10. Who woulda thought?

“At my workplace, there are giant containers of soap and cleaning chemicals.

On the cart, there is a giant sign that reads ‘Do NOT drink’ in three languages, all hand written.

Apparently, before the sign was put up, three separate instances were found where the cleaning cart was unattended, and an employee tried to drink the yellow cleaning solution, thinking it was a drink cart.

Let me add the fact that the cart also has a sign on it that says ‘Cleaning Supply Cart.’”

– Aarryle

11. It DOES look like a giant marshmallow…

“The tag on my pillow that says ‘Do Not Consume.’ Why is this an issue?”

– FaetFelicis

12. On that note…

“Former Pharmacy Tech here.

I was shocked that we had to put ‘unwrap’ and insert on the label for suppository prescriptions.

Alrighty, then.”

– Daffydil04

After reading this, I’m a bit concerned about the future of humanity. The fact that we’ve survived this long is astounding. Thankfully, we get to learn from the mistakes of the stupidity of the people who came before us.

What do you think exists solely due to human stupidity? Let us know in the comments!

The post Things That Exist Solely Due to Human Stupidity appeared first on UberFacts.

The Person vs. the Personality Memes That Reveal a Person’s True Self

A lot of times we’re told just “be ourself” but putting this into practice can be harder than you think.

We have the version of ourselves we present to our friends or family, but we also have work personas, first date personas, and even fantasy personas we might inhabit while gaming or goofing around. (Burt Macklin anyone?) So which one is our “true” personality? And will our friends and family accept it?

Now the truth can be revealed. The Person vs. The Personality meme went viral on Twitter in May 2020 and with good reason. It consist of a two-panel image, one displaying “the person” and another displaying the often humorously different “personality.”

1. Lin-Manuel Miranda reveals his true personality…

Blathering Blatherskite! Listen to Lin-Manuel voice character Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera on the new DuckTales series.

2. All hail the Queen:

Cersei Lannister is an ambitious woman who goes after her dreams. Nothing wrong with that. (Minus the murder)

3. Know thyself:

Did anybody else just go “Awwwww!”?

4. As far as I’m concerned, doctors ARE superheroes:

Especially those who work in women’s reproductive health!

5. Self-awareness is important:

Princess Carolyn may need to do some self work, but she’s also a total badass.

6. People respect you more when you let your brilliance shine:

Subtitle

7. YAS Queen

“You’re gonna her me ROAR!”

8. But it’s ok to be shy:

That’s the thing about cats. You have to wait for them to come to you.

9. When we reveal who we are, we allow people to love us for who we truly are:

I already know I want to be friends with this person.

10. Or at the very least, we can make someone laugh:

Squidward deserves love too ya’ll.

11. Because if someone can’t love us for our true selves…

Do they really deserve to know us at all?

The Person vs. Personality meme is your chance to show the world who you truly are. Or just make a hilarious meme. Take your pick.

Will you reveal your true self to the world? Show us in the comments!

The post The Person vs. the Personality Memes That Reveal a Person’s True Self appeared first on UberFacts.

Things Basically Everyone Has Experienced but Never Talks About

You know what I’m talking about: those every day human occurrences that we’ve all experienced but that rarely seem to come up in conversation. Maybe it’s because we’re embarrassed, maybe because they seem too random or insignificant to mention, but the truth is we can all share a laugh over these basic human experiences.

1. Guilty pleasures

Nothing else compares.

Meirl from meirl

2. So nonchalant

Oh, you know.

3. Not all heroes wear capes…

But they definitely wear masks!

4. Keep your eyes on the smize

Tyra Banks prepared us for this day.

5. My entire school experience

Tbh, if you end up like this guy, it probably wasn’t a very good book to begin with.

Me📖irl from meirl

6. Higher, higher…

Did you check the batteries?

who else does this?

Posted by Memes on Sunday, June 28, 2020

7. So sorry but something came up…

I just really don’t want to people right now

8. They’re called floaters

For most people, eye floaters are a minor inconvenience, not a cause for concern.

9. This one hits home

I can’t afford to be distracted!

Me irl from meirl

10. This is a test, isn’t it?

Uhh…the one about the little star? That twinkles? You’ve probably never heard of it.

11. Yes, I do this with my cat.

I wouldn’t recommend it.

12. Me when my best friend and I haven’t talked in over a week:

I need ALL the details.

meirl from meirl

13. Now I do the same thing with my headset during Zoom meetings

I totally meant to do that.

Please tell me I’m not not the only one who’s done these things. Particularly #9. It really does make it easier to concentrate!

Which one did you relate to most? Let us know in the comments!

The post Things Basically Everyone Has Experienced but Never Talks About appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes That Are on the Money About Life in 2020

The economy is all over the place and things are looking pretty sketchy right about now.

I’m no expert in these matters but I propose a solution: let’s turn to a meme-based economy. Like cryptocurrencies, except not like that at all, because I honestly don’t understand how those work.

What I’m saying is let’s start treating memes like money and it’ll probably go great! Even if it doesn’t, we’ll have all these memes to laugh at, which will distract us from how not-great everything went. You can’t lose.

To give you an idea of how this would go, I’ve gathered twelve completely random memes and assigned a currency conversion calculation to let you know what I think they’re worth.

12. Mind on my money

Meme value: $1.00

Via: someecards

11. Gettin’ chipped, gotta dip

Meme value: $4.79, the retail price of a family sized bag.

Via: someecards

10. Pupper slumber

Meme value: $4 and gentle pats on the head.

Via: someecards

9. All in the phrasing

Meme value: $2 and the wisdom to know who not to screw with.

Via: someecards

8. Killing it

Meme value: the college fund your parents didn’t end up having to spend on you.

Via: someecards

7. Die laughing

Meme value: your life.

Via: someecards

6. Pain by numbers

Meme value: the price of a set of permanent markers and even more permanent emotional scarring.

Via: someecards

5. Chill pills

Meme value: $50, or a $10 copay with insurance.

Via: someecards

4. I scream

Meme value: priceless.

Via: someecards

3. Phony phone time

Meme value: dog.

Via: someecards

2. Follow your memes

Meme value: an $8 take and bake pizza.

Via: someecards

1. The grudge

Meme value: a forest worth of burn books.

Via: someecards

Some critics have claimed that my system of memes as currency “makes no sense,” and “is wildly inconsistent.” But to them I say – that’s never stopped us before.

Do you think we should replace money with memes? Why or why not?

Tell us your scholarly opinion in the comments.

The post Memes That Are on the Money About Life in 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.

10 Tweets to Improve Your Day

For a long time, tweets were limited to just 140 characters. Then in 2017, they decided to up the limit to 280.

Interestingly though, they found that in beta testing, most people still preferred to keep the messages shorter even with more real estate allowed. Seems that the entire appeal of Twitter is in the brevity, whether that’s in the service of a pithy social statement or just a dumb joke.

Here, briefly, are ten short tweets that are definitely dumb jokes.

10. Inside out

A modern rendition of the scream.

9. Knife to meet you

Yanno, I think I could take a stab at cooking too.

8. Sleep with me

That’s not your fellow, that’s your pillow.

7. Time flies

Ah, Hollywood. Where 27 years olds are teenagers and 40 year olds are ancient.

6. Speaking my language

It’s like they say, communication is key.

5. The best part of waking up

It’s a late start, but it’s still a start, I guess?

4. Oh hi doggy

The dog will never say anything stressful or disappointing back.

3. Shelf help

You don’t have to be well read to put this one together.

2. Technically speaking

The best KIND of correct.

1. Terrible lizards

This tweet has absolutely made my day in ways I can’t even explain.

In the spirit of what makes twitter great, we’ll keep it brief and end it there. Just ten little random messages tailor-made by strangers to make us giggle. Hope that short trip has brightened your day!

Who are your favorite people on Twitter right now?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 10 Tweets to Improve Your Day appeared first on UberFacts.

Impress Your Neighbors on Halloween With This 12-Foot Skeleton

Christmas usually corners the market on gaudy, oversized, slightly (or more than slightly) ridiculous decorations for your home. Inside, outside, both – the more, the bigger, the brighter, the better.

Halloween, though, is an up-and-coming holiday that’s getting tons more love than she used to – it’s fall, the weather is nice, the pumpkin spice is flowing, so is the candy, and almost everyone loves to feel the slightest bit spooked.

Enter… the 12-foot skeleton!

Image Credit: Home Depot

There are many lawn decorations to choose from, that range from kitschy to scary to inflatable to lit up, but listen – a skeleton that’s twice as tall as the average man sounds like a way to make a real statement to the neighbors, if you ask me.

Really throw down the Halloween gauntlet.

Home Depot is offering the 12-Foot Giant-Sized Skeleton with LifeEyes, and yeah, that last part is the real spooky kicker.

Image Credit: Home Depot

His bones are off-white, which contrast nicely with his creepy, light-up, animated eyeballs that blink and follow people -or at least, seem to follow people – as they cross your yard and make their way to your front door.

The moving parts come with a convenient timer, and the whole thing comes with a base piece that makes it easy to stand him up wherever you’d like.

You can order this delightfully large monstrosity for a cool $299, but it’s built to last and will surely delight and terrify trick-or-treaters for years to come.

Image Credit: Home Depot

Pro-tip: this thing is tall, so you’re going to need some help putting it together.

And while you’ve got a crew assembled, go ahead and implement the fog-and-spotlight scenario, too.

You can thank me later.

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