Do You Have an Irrational Fear of Answering the Phone? People Confess That You’re Not Alone!

It’s one of the more ironic things about our society that now that we all have phones in our hands pretty much 24/7, we’ve developed an intense dislike of actually speaking on them.

We’d rather text or DM or PM or Snapchat or heck, even email before actually picking it up and talking to whoever is on the other end of the line.

This guy has an irrational fear of answering, no matter who is calling, and he wonders if he’s alone.

Does anyone else have this irrational fear of answering calls, no matter who’s calling? from NoStupidQuestions

Luckily, answers like that are just what Reddit is for.

Let’s check them out!

16. Definitely not.

I’m not alone then. I HATE getting calls.

Text me all you want – just don’t call me. I get anxious and uncomfortable and I have no idea why.

It’s gotten so bad even my girlfriend is affected. Yeah, she can call me and I’d answer, but our calls rarely go beyond 3 minutes.

I’m not even joking.

15. Those are the devil, too.

Sort of.

But for some reason I will never listen to a voicemail message as I think for some reason they’ll always be bad.

14. No good reason.

My biggest issue is unknown numbers.

I haven’t deleted a number I’ve saved in my phone since I got it but stuff like I’ve joined some service and the person I’m in contact with will use one number but their contact may contact me from another then the initial person has a work mobile that’s set to private and it’s all WHY IS SOMEONE PHONING ME???

13. Even more reason not to answer in your private time.

Yes.

I also work at a call center.

It’s lots of fun.

12. Things are getting worse, too.

I have a very difficult time answering phone calls. It wasn’t something I’ve always had… it’s progressed over the last 18 years.

Hell, even if I don’t answer and the callers leaves a message, I have a difficult time actually listening to the message. I don’t understand it… it’s completely irrational.

The only thing I can think of is that in my mind, if I don’t acknowledge the call or the message, I don’t have to deal with whatever potential threat/problem/situation exists on the other end.

11. Sometimes we have to.

I’m a 911 operator and I still have anxiety about using the phone, outside of work of course.

I’m guessing a different state of mind exists when you’re working that kind of blocks it out.

10. Sooooo awkward.

Yes, I have social anxiety to begin with but for some reason not being able to see the person I’m talking to makes it so much worse.

Also the city I live in has dogsh%t cell reception so by the fourth time I have to say “I’m sorry, say again?”

I’m about ready to curl up in a ball and give up. LOL

9. Anxiety is no fun.

Yes, but I suffer from generalized anxiety.

When my anxiety is really unsettled, the phone is really hard for me.

Making or receiving calls can be a totally daunting task.

Overwhelming, even.

Without the invention of texting, I would be SOL.

8. Just say no.

Yes. I hate answering my phone unless I know who it is or am expecting a call.

I just let it go to voicemail and then call back if necessary.

7. Apps are a godsend.

Luckily these days most places hat deliver support online or app ordering.

Haven’t called for a good delivery in a couple years.

6. Hopefully next year.

It certainly does make me feel anxious, and if I’m not expecting a call and it’s an unknown number, a little afraid too.

Either way, both of us should leave the house more often.

5. Humans should come with warning labels.

Yep! My boyfriend is nice enough to make appointments for me and pick up my meds.

I don’t know why but every time I make the calls myself it’s like I have this strange kind of goodbye exchange that seems all intimate and weird.

And then one time I accidentally hung up on a lady without saying bye and I could not get over it, I felt so bad.

I hate calling people, god dammit. I also probably never answer the phone when it rings.

Just send me an email or something I’m scared, I’m poor, I’m anxious, I don’t want what you’re selling.

4. It’s a real thing.

Telephone phobia is reluctance or fear of making or taking phone calls, literally, “fear of telephones”. It is considered to be a type of social phobia or social anxiety.

It may be compared to glossophobia, in that both arise from having to engage with an audience, and the associated fear of being criticized, judged or made a fool of.

3. Why would you?

Same.

I never answer my phone if I’m not expecting a call or don’t know who it is.

If they don’t leave a message I don’t call back.

2. This is definitely a thing.

I’ll do you one better.

If I’m going to order ahead from a restaurant and I discover that they don’t have online ordering, I find a different restaurant.

1. At least you’re not alone.

generalized anxiety
That feeling when you are watching the screen, knowing you cant reject the call, and holding your breath until the call leaves the screen, so you can get back to Reddit.

Next, you wonder how long is best to wait, before you text them an excuse as to why you didn’t answer..

Then, you get lost on Reddit and forget someone called, and you never call or text them back.

Eventually, you see them in person, they’re all, “yooo, you never answer your phone! Why do you even have one?!”

Sorry, I just suck at life.

I don’t think I have a fear,  exactly, but I would definitely rather text.

Give us your thoughts in the comments!

The post Do You Have an Irrational Fear of Answering the Phone? People Confess That You’re Not Alone! appeared first on UberFacts.

Men Who Don’t Usually Open Up Share What’s on Their Minds

I’m probably not telling you something you don’t already know, but a lot of men out there aren’t exactly good at letting their emotions out.

Well, we’re about to change that right now, even if it is anonymously.

Men on AskReddit were nice enough to open up about their emotions. Let’s take a look.

1. Terrified.

“I act indifferent and have things under control but in reality I’m terrified of the future. I think about 100 what-if scenario a day.

I don’t like to talk about myself because I feel like I’m not interesting or people don’t care about what I have to say about my life.

Thank God I have good friends but those things not even them I can share with.”

2. Tough times.

“I don’t want to exist anymore, honestly.

I dont want to die, I just want the memory of me and who I am to be wiped away from EVERYONE so I don’t disappoint anyone anymore.

I just want to be a ghost and not exist anymore.

Sorry just going through some sh*t right now with depression, heartbreak, insomnia, and a slew of other things that I have to hide so to not hurt or disappoint anyone.”

3. We all need that sometimes.

“Give us a pat on the back and ask us how we’re doing every now and then, as small as it may seem it can mean the world to some.”

4. That’s sad.

“I kinda wish my close friends remembered my birthday today.

They usually remember down to the exact minute, but this year, none of them did (at least so far).

I know they’re all busy and have bigger things to be worrying about, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a bit lonely.”

5. Bottled up.

“I’m afraid that I have bottled up my feelings for so long that if I’m ever lucky enough to find a person I want to open up to, it will either be impossible or everything will come out at once and scare them off.”

6. Scary.

“My ex wife, who mentally abused me for years and physically abused me on separate occasions, who I’ve been separated with for 2.5 years and in the process of getting a divorce from, still harasses to this day, as well as the woman I’ve been dating.

I’ve asked for help on several occasions from the police and the court system. I basically get mocked and laughed at by our judicial system because, “what, is this woman going to beat you up?”

I’m going to end up with a knife in my chest before anyone listens or takes a step in ending her terror.”

7. Eating disorder.

“My eating disorder has gotten bad again. I’m extremely lonely and isolated. I’ve lost friends just by being “independent and confident” and not texting and call first so now I’m nearly alone.

I’m petrified about the future with a million paths and no direction, and I’m so stressed that I can’t get a good pathway started. I’m terrified of dating because I still feel extremely insecure about my body.

Tonight my first day off in while I woke up jerked off, binge ate junk food threw it up and started drinking and now I’m on reddit so yeah. I’m so depressed and anxious I don’t know why.”

8. Broken.

“I am still broken on the inside. That my “soul” is like f*cking coventry after the Germans raided it during the second world war.

That I am afraid to sink into depression for the sixth time in my life because it got worse and longer with every single time. Because the only thing that kept me alive was my back then gf who left me.

That I consider myself a massive disappointment, the failure of my family and that my family would be better off without me. That my family, especially my parents were a major reason for these five depressions. That all it will take to push me over the edge and into suicide is just a little push because I do not want to struggle for the sixth time.

That I am still not over my break up, despite it being something that happened over 2 years ago. That I still cry from time to time whenever I think about the past.”

9. A hard situation.

“So my mom is chronically ill, her brain is deteriorating fast.

My dad is understandably very stressed due to all of this and how many years it has lasted, he’s the only other person in this household I really can talk to (a conversation with my mom isn’t really a real conversation) and he’s too stressed to have the energy or time to do so meaning I’m really isolated.

I just finished high school in spring and moved back home after living with my best friend for 9 months, before living there I was doing the same thing as now with taking care of my mom to help with my dad’s stress all while doing IB with 5 higher levels.

I’m currently spending my sabbatical taking care of my sick vegetative mom instead of getting a job and saving up and getting some good experiences, I’m 20 years old and I am in no way living life for myself in any way.

My only real escape is going to the gym to work out, the sweet release of dopamine is probably the only thing keeping me from falling down into the deep dark hole of despair and depression; well that and being a nerd in the kitchen which has gone from a hobby to a daily chore.

I imagined my sabbatical would involve saving up, maybe getting a girlfriend, traveling with my best friend and not just living for the sake of taking care of my parents. Honestly it sometimes takes weeks to have a real conversation with people, I feel so alone and granted it’s necessary the quarantine isn’t doing anything to help my situation.”

10. Into the void.

“I want to be free. I want to be free from nations, systems, norms, and ages.

I hate feeling and thinking.

This is a really beautiful planet but a really sad world.

I really wish i can go back to the void and nonexistence.”

11. Expectations.

“I hate it when expectations are placed on me, next year I am going to college. My parents have expectations of me passing and successfully getting in.

So as of now, she wants me to retain or get higher grades than usual, and the thing is I don’t want stress, I wanna live my life peacefully and stress-free as much as possible. My parents aren’t bad, I know they just want the best for me, it’s just that I am afraid that I cannot meet their expectations and disappoint them.

To try and get rid of the stress and pressure temporarily I usually play games, watch shows, or read books. I will admit that I do put a lot of my time into those things, but the reason why is because it helps me temporarily forget about my problems in the world, while doing those things I can feel at ease, but sometimes my parents condemn me a bit for spending too much time on those things.

Sometimes I just wanna say that I do these things to help me calm down about life, but I don’t know how to say it or even if they would understand it.

Lastly, I feel like there’s no purpose in my life, I just wake up every day, go to online classes, listen to the teachers, do my requirements, sleep, rinse and repeat. I just don’t know what to do in life, I feel like an empty husk that has no purpose.

I’m not suicidal at all or anything but sometimes I just wonder what would it be like if I just never existed at all. I just don’t know what to do with life, I have no goals, no dreams, I barely feel happiness left, I don’t know what to make me happy. I just feel completely lost, I don’t know what to do.”

12. Lovelorn.

“I met an incredibly beautiful, smart, loving girl but I work abroad and I have to go away after Christmas.

After 3 failed relationships which only lasted months, this is the first person I can see myself having a stable and happy relationship with.

The thought of having a long distance relationship breaks me, because I know I can’t do it, I don’t like texting or video calling, and they rarely work.

She also gets a lot of attention from other men and I feel like I would lose her quickly.

I’m sad, trying not to fall in love. I’ve always felt that I wouldn’t find anyone for me, and now that I have I can’t be with her.”

13. About to crack.

“My wife needs me to be mentally and emotionally strong, capable, confident, able to make decisions, able to lead and manage. I cannot show weakness, anxiety, indecision or exhaustion in front of her. I cannot make mistakes.

But I am weak, anxious, indecisive and exhausted – because I am only human. 2020 has been a tough year for everyone, but in addition to Covid I have started a new job, in a new country, and borne the brunt of all the administrative, logistical and financial management of moving us. I have decision fatigue. I wake up with a sense of dread. All I really want to do is hibernate.

But I can’t show it. She ‘loses faith in me’ if I don’t keep a stiff upper lip and just ‘handle it like a man’. She supports in lots of practical ways – shopping, cooking, cleaning, childcare – but what I need now is a friend, someone I can be myself with, and can share my fears and vulnerabilities with, can have the liberty to be less than perfect with.

She won’t let me do that, because it scares her too much. She needs a strong man to cling to, and if her man turns out not to be strong she lashes out in fear.

So I have to kind of bottle it up. I used to have a group of male friends – I couldn’t really discuss these things, but at least we could go out for a drink once in a while and unwind – but Covid and moving have put an end to that. I now feel that I have no-one, really, who is close enough with whom to share this crushing burden of responsibility.

It is affecting our marriage – because it doesn’t feel like a partnership. A husband and wife should first and foremost be friends, but she says she can’t be my friend because friends don’t have to rely on each other financially. It’s like being married to a housekeeper / secretary.

We have s*x from time to time, but without the emotional support of a friend I feel like that, too, is a performance – that I have to put on a persona of a super-masculine, hyper-dominant ‘real man’; anything less she says is ‘disgusting’. She doesn’t even like cuddling afterwards because she thinks it’s ‘pathetic’ and ‘real men don’t cuddle, they f*ck and leave’.

I’m deeply, deeply unhappy. But the only people who know are random internet strangers.

One day I swear I’m going to crack. The only reason I don’t is because we have a kid.”

Now we want to hear from you.

What’s on YOUR mind that you’d like to get off your chest?

Talk to us in the comments!

The post Men Who Don’t Usually Open Up Share What’s on Their Minds appeared first on UberFacts.

Therapists Discuss Their “Holy Sh*t” Moments With Clients

We all have unique things that we deal with at our jobs on a daily basis, but therapists really see and hear some wild things.

And us non-therapists never really get a peek into that world…until now!

Therapists got real on AskReddit about the unusual things they’ve seen and heard on the job. Let’s take a look.

1. Awful.

“I was counseling a 13 year old girl for anxiety and she reported s*xual abuse from her step dad. I called her mom and told her mother I needed to call child protective services. Turns out that CPS was already aware and the abuse was first report around the patients age 7.

Mom was aware of the abuse and stayed with her husband anyway. It was a complicated situation, and it wasn’t. How could she not do more to protect her daughter?!

Sorry lady… I’m judging.”

2. People are sick.

“My professor once shared what a patient said that made her quit her job: “I didn’t r*pe my daughter, she liked it.” The daughter was six.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She worked in a rehabilitation centre for people who have been sentenced for serious crimes and were forced to get mental help.

Really difficult job and this pushed her over the edge.”

3. Good Lord…

“Once had a patient whose wife shook their baby to death. He wanted help reconnecting with his wife.

At the time I was a young father of a newborn myself, and he triggered a lot of fear in me for my own child, a deep loathing of his spouse, and pity (the “how pathetic” kind) for the patient.

I tried for 3 sessions, met his spouse and everything before handing the case over to my supervisor (who knew about my initial reactions, and tried to help me through it).

Unfortunately, it ended up being more about my feelings than his, and I was new to the profession at the time. These things are expected to crop up from time to time, but I was still taken aback by my own reactions.”

4. Dumbstruck.

“I work at a group home.

We had a kid who we had admitted four months prior, when in a family session they mentioned they had parasites. Mom said, “yeah, our whole family has them, we don’t get rid of them since they’re part of our biological ecosystem.”

I was dumbstruck.

We spent three weeks afterwards convincing this family it was an infectious disease concerns as other residents have fecal eating behaviors and various other unsanitary issues that could cause a unit spread.

Three weeks of education, planning, and worse of all convincing this kid and mother that their IQ wouldn’t drop because they had agreed to irradiate the parasites!!!

Lots of CBT work, but Jesus it took way longer than any of my team expected!”

5. Brutal.

“I work with kids who have experienced some kind of abuse/trauma (90% of my clients have been s*xually abused). I have a lot of holy sh*t moments but not from judgment of my clients but from what happened to them.

I’ve had clients whose father made them help him dismember mom’s body after dad murdered her in front of them. I’ve had clients under the age of 8 who have been s*x trafficked.

I’ve had clients who have been forced to film torture p*rn. I have holy sh*t moments all the time.”

6. Judging.

“I feel like a lot of the comments saying that they NEVER judge their clients might be working in voluntary services or they’ve been very fortunate in their client base. Judgement isn’t an inherently bad thing. It’s how we know that murdering people is wrong.

So when a convicted pedophile client told me, “nothing gets me going like a pair of little girl’s worn panties”, you better believe I judged the f*ck out of him. I continued to work with him and I treated him with compassion and respect because he’s a human being worthy of both; I did my job because I’m a professional.

But I can’t honestly say that I didn’t judge him. I judged that he should never be around children. I judged that he is not yet ready for change. I judged that his access to his own daughter should be closely supervised. That’s a lot of judgements.

Understanding your own inherent biases and how they influence your work is a very important part of training and practice.”

7. Not a good move.

“As the pandemic worsened here in the US and more lock downs are on their way, one of my most extroverted clients and I brainstormed ways to meet her social needs while remaining safe.

The following week she canceled her session and told me that she’s positive for COVID after attending an orgy, which definitely wasn’t one of our ideas.

I let out the deepest most defeated sigh after I hung up the phone.”

8. Anger management.

“I ran a men’s anger management group though, and some of those men had done some terrible things to women. Most of them I found ways to like and admire for their positive aspects, but there were two guys in that group I just could never find “unconditional positive regard” for.

One guy basically never spoke in group. He would give one word answers and occasionally just discuss how unfair the “system” was to him. I worked really hard to open him up and find things to connect over but he never opened up to me or the group. He left the group after he strangled his girlfriend and went to jail. She survived thankfully.

The other left group early routinely, showed up late, participated minimally and similarly never wanted to open up honestly. He left early one group after we had discussed him staying to the end and threatened me when I told him he wasn’t going to get credit for attendance (something the court required).

Oddly, I eventually moved into the apartment below him (completely without knowledge) and listened to him scream at his girlfriend and break sh*t while I called the cops.

I judge these men. They’re sh*tty. Maybe they’re redeemable, but redemption requires self-exploration and they both refused to do so. It’s worth noting how differently I felt about them than so many others in the group; men I found ways to help and admire and respect even in spite of their awful behavior in the past.”

9. Youth issues.

“I work with youth and adolescents who have anxiety, trauma, and/or depression. Some of the kids I worked with had some pretty severe attachment issues. Regardless of this, I never thought I’d have to seriously explain:

“You can’t just buy a straitjacket for your kid.”

“Feeding your kid ultra Spicy Ramen each night instead of the meal everyone else is eating isn’t specifically defined as abuse, but you have to understand the emotional abuse that this causes.”

“Your kid isn’t trying to kill you because they stand in your doorway at night crying. Thats likely because they’re scared of their traumatic nightmares, but feel like you will just yell at them if they wake you up.”

10. This is terrible.

“A woman who deliberately kept getting pregnant because she enjoyed the attention, and then would immediately afterwards dump her kids with the foster system or in one case a willing relative.

She had six kids at the time I met her…”

11. Drug lord.

“It’s not often I get to talk about my profession, but here goes: I was working at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center and had a client come in who was a self proclaimed “drug lord”.

As we worked together, he told me about his history. Included in this history was how he got to where he was currently at.

During the conversation, this man admitted to selling his sister into s*x slavery, forcibly injecting her with several sedatives and narcotics, and having several people “teach her a lesson” (what this meant, he never shared). He told this story with a blank face, smiling only when he recalled the “good times”, which he referred to as times when he had enough heroin to get through the day.

I’m not sure where he is at now, but this man inspired me to work with victims of s*x trafficking, because not only do they deal with the stigma of “selling their bodies”, they often manage drug addictions.

People would honestly be floored of they realized how many people were addicted to chemicals that they were forcibly given.”

12. The straight story.

“I work in mental health and have worked in acute and crisis settings for the majority of my career.

The most notable event I experienced was when a young person had presented with significant ongoing suicidal ideation who was dealing with a lot of sh*t. I spent a lot of time with them mostly deescalation and working out what the plan should be moving forward.

One of their parents came in a little while later and I had the opportunity to speak to them about where their child was and what had been going on, with their consent of course. Midway through me trying to explain some of the psychological constructs and ways the parent could help they said to me, “is this going to take much longer I have a show to go and watch”.

All I can say is, I never judge my patients, I have never walked their path or viewed the world through their eyes. But the people around them who perpetuate the suffering of the people I work with through ignorance, malice and selfishness, I judge them.”

Have you ever had any major “oh sh*t” moments at your job?

If so, tell us your stories in the comments.

We’d love to hear ’em!

The post Therapists Discuss Their “Holy Sh*t” Moments With Clients appeared first on UberFacts.

Therapists Discussed Moments When Clients Really Caught Them by Surprise

I admire people who work as therapists because they have a very tough job.

And I think it would be very difficult to not bring all that baggage home every night…

But we’re dealing with professionals here, okay? And we’re in luck because they talked about some clients that did some crazy sh*t.

Therapists opened up on AskReddit about some of the more interesting things they’ve seen on the job.

1. Troubled.

“Parents of a “troubled” child, which turn out to be the problem themselves.

Total refusal to do any kind of introspection, try to convince everybody (cps, police, psychologist, doctor) the kid was the problem, complain the kid was… A kid (a teenager a that point) by growing too fast and costing money to feed and clothe.

He had smashed their t.v. with an axe. Turns out they hadn’t speak or pay any attention to him in several years and they spent 99% of their free time watching t.v. Kid had no other behavior problem, great in school, very calm. He just reach a point where he couldn’t stand being ignore any longer so he had what she called a “Fried Green Tomatoes” moment.

Parents dismissed their responsibility, only problem they saw was the wacked t.v. Kid got emancipated at 16 and moved to f*ck out of there.

She had a private practice and the only times she expressed any judgment was when someone seeks therapy but refused to do any work or partake in the process. Paying a therapist is not paying someone to agree with you.

You need to show up, you need to -at least- try.”

2. Wow.

“I now work in the jail and there are quite a few s*x offenders in my program.

I struggle with the ones who honestly believe their victims (as young as 8) were in mutual loving relationships with them.

It’s super difficult at times not to just say “dude, WTF!””

3. Give yourself some credit.

“Some of my clients are SHOCKINGLY BAD at giving themselves credit.

They might get a nearly straight A GPA in a brutal major while battling depression, or overcome years of phobia and get behind the wheel again, or write a literal novel, or raise a kid as a single parent with low income

Rr build new relationships after being burned, or cope with OCD well enough to hold down a job. And they’ll talk about themselves as if everyone on earth is better than them, as if their accomplishments are worthless.

And I know it’s because of depression or anxiety or another condition, but I’m often stunned by how differently I see them compared to how they see themselves.”

4. Heartache.

“Had a patient apologise for crying during a consultation, saying ‘I know I shouldn’t be sad, I’ve got so many great things going for me’

Dude.

Three months ago you had to move back to your parents after an unexpected breakup.

Back to the environment which contributed to your official diagnosis.

The same place where your sister was living- before she died, one month after your return to that house, of the same diagnosis you have.

And because she died during a pandemic, not only could you not visit her in hospital before she died, you had difficulty organising her funeral.

In addition to all that he felt financially responsible for both his parents as they’d both lost their benefits- a loss which they couldn’t appeal as their mental health was so poor the concept of fighting that decision was making them suicidal.

I want to hug a lot of my patients, but this one made my heart ache.”

5. Judged.

“The one thing I’ve judged is the situations that people survive and continue to live their lives.

I’ve worked with torture survivors, survivors of genocide and famine. I’ve worked with people whose entire villages were wiped out because a war lord wanted the water well that was sitting in the town.

It always gives me pause in terms of the anguish some people face and their resilience. So if I have one message, it would be in the words of RJ Palacio, “Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle.””

6. Psychotherapy.

“I’m a psychotherapist on an adult inpatient unit, so things rarely phase me. I purposely do inpatient because the thought of seeing people for years at a time bores me.

I’ve been kicked, spit on, seen a lot of nude people, but I help pull people back from their darkest points. It’s pretty awesome. My theory is everyone has a story of how they got there. Even a pedophile.

That being said, I had a patient that was having consensual s*x with her uncle. Very wealthy, society type people. She went very in-depth about the relationship. That one weirded me out.”

7. Are you serious?

“I currently have a young female client that is struggling with homelessness, a history of trauma, s*xual abuse, etc.

She’s not handling these things well, as can be expected. Grandmother, who is her only support, keeps kicking the ten year old out of her house (making her homeless at ten) for acting out, and told me she can’t understand why client won’t just “act right.”

Lady. Are you serious?”

8. Hearing voices.

“There was a client a young teenager that was hearing voices to hurt himself.

He had multiple crisis calls and was admitted several times to crisis centers for observation until he got prescribed meds and was starting to show improvement.

He was starting to disclose that he may have been Gay and was stressed out because his father was old school religious and a pillar of the community.

The young man was recommended to go to treatment abs start in a facility to keep him acclimate to he meds and just to give him some coping skills and all that.

His father pulled him out AMA and refused to allow him to continue medication. He also discontinued his therapy for a more religious approach.

3 months later he completed his suicide.

I see that father around and I want to f*ck him up. I wish I could.”

9. Scary.

“In working with a young elementary aged student, he would start mast*rbating when explaining how he wanted to kill his teacher and classmates in gruesome detail.

Thankfully we were able to transfer him to a more appropriate day school setting where he could receive special services.”

10. Couples counseling.

“Couples counseling; parents of a baby (4 or 5 months old).

We are halfway in our session when I ask them about their baby. Mom: she is in bed right now. Me: ah, grandparents babysitting? Dad: no, she is at home alone. Nothing can happen to her. We bought a special mattress, one where she (baby) cannot suffocate

Me: mouth open… staring at them for a couple of seconds. Then: how long did it take you to get here? Mom: 15 mins or so. Me: alright, the session is over.

I want you guys to go home immediately and call me when you arrive. Please hurry. And Never ever leave your baby alone!”

11. So bad.

“I’ve worked with some really sh*tty parents in my career. Probably one of the worst was the mom who kept sneaking the stepfather back into the house who was being investigated for molesting her daughter.

Hard not to judge someone who puts her own daughter at risk so she could get laid.”

12. Sabotaging.

“It is highly unlikely for me to have moments where I judge my clients.

It happens sometimes, but I’m able to shut down those thoughts quickly in my head and return to being present for the people I see. People are so incredibly complex that my judgment wouldn’t have any meaning anyway and it doesn’t have a place in our work together.

I will admit though, something that does get me feeling a little salty is when I have a client’s parent that attempts to sabotage the therapeutic relationship I have with their child.

Or pulling them out of therapy entirely when some of the things we talk about challenges some potentially unhealthy family dynamics. I don’t feel anger toward the parents, mostly I feel bad for the kid.”

What do you think is your biggest “oh sh*t” work moment?

Tell us your stories in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post Therapists Discussed Moments When Clients Really Caught Them by Surprise appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss How They Deal With Their Depression

We’re in the dark, freezing months of the year right now and this is when depression really rears its ugly head for a lot of people out there.

Gray skies, more hours of darkness, and freezing temperatures can really do a number on peoples’ mental health so it’s important to take care of yourself.

How do you cope with your depression?

Let’s see what folks on AskReddit had to say about this.

1. Seems to work.

“I like to go outside and write songs.

I act like I’m someone important that people need to survive.

It’s weird, but it works sometimes.”

2. The little things.

“I don’t suffer from major depression, so I know that this may seem rather flyweight. I go for walks.

I put my favorite music on while I’m driving and sing along. If I’m at home (alone–I get embarrassed), I’ll put on some really fun music and dance. I watch stand-up comedy for a laugh.

I’ll allow myself to indulge in some nice chocolate. And I give myself small tasks that I can easily accomplish and pat myself on the back for getting them done.”

3. Depression lies.

“I stubbornly keep on breathing and I ignore everything my head thinks.

Depression lies.

I have a check list on the fridge of things I forget: keep warm, drink tea, take Zinc, being overwhelmed is a symptom you are quite fierce in reality, wear hat, eat proteins before noon, brush teeth before noon.”

4. Dealing with it.

“I have been struggling with anxiety and depression throughout all of Middle School, and into High School. Except no one knows about it, so everyone just thinks I’m fine.

But I don’t talk about it, because I am concerned about how people would react. Which really just makes everything worse. But some things I have done to help my self. I focus on the things that I do have. I am lonely and don’t have many friends but, I realized that thinking senselessly about the people who don’t care about me, doesn’t help at all and makes things worse.

But focusing on who cares about me, make me feel happy and cared for. Additionally, I have started a journal to record my thoughts that I have, when I go through a mental breakdown. Writing it down, helps me think about it more, and cope with it.”

5. Belt it out.

“I sing.

I get anxious a lot and have problems because of it. But when I sing I feel like all my problems are gone.

Also, I read! When I read I’m not me anymore, I’m the book character and that takes all my problems away.”

6. Clear your head.

“I like to walk around outside, I feel like it clears my thoughts.

One of my main things to do is to pour all of my emotions into something physical, ie a drawing, and then destroy it. Listen to happy music, read, take a bath are standard go-to’s. Hope this helps!

And remember you’re loved, wanted and needed in this world. also If you feeling suicidal please call a hotline, the world needs you.”

7. All kinds of things.

“I like to sit and think. some times I will draw and listen to music. I will play my favorite video games and chat with friends. but my favorite thing to do was to make up a new friend in my head then I would talk to them as if they were a therapist.

I like to do that because I feel it is easier to talk and vent to some that are not real then to talk to someone that might tell others. I do this a lot for more than just depression and it really helps if you have.

People say that I’m too old for an “imaginary friend” but I mean they are there for when you are sad and don’t want to talk o someone that’s real.”

8. Comforting.

“I do things that comfort me.

I mostly just watch RuPaul’s drag race, eat food and play video games.

I honestly just ignore it and let it build up. It’s not healthy but I like it.”

9. Ways to survive.

“I’ve dealt with major depression for almost 20 years now. A few ways I survive:

1. Give my dog (who’s passed away, so now my cat) a hug. I also talk(ed) to them

2. Read. Live in that world instead of mine

3. Listen to music

4. Journal (including keeping a gratitude journal), and just go back and reread

5. Sleep, so I don’t feel anything.”

10. Very aware.

“I try not to give myself to much importance. Meaning it’s okay not to succeed or to miss work.

The world doesn’t revolves around you. You are not that important.

For me, it takes all the stress off my shoulder and I can just simply be instead of doing and having.”

11. Escape from reality.

“Reading sci-fi and fantasy adventure books, the further they are from our reality, the better.

Also working with my hands, and doing something good for others (I’m currently renovating my mom’s apartment).”

12. Whatever works for you.

“I have depression & anxiety.

I used to believe it when I was told by media in various forms and by specialists that working or volunteering in something you care about, always helps people with depression. It Doesn’t. Never believe that something Helps Everyone. I had a breakdown, then started volunteering after a while – that caused things to get worse.

How do I cope with depression? I read, if I’m reading I can mostly forget the real world, my real situation, my real future, I feel a bit better. My other coping mechanism is to sleep, even with nightmares sleep is far better than being awake.

If the anxiety worsens at the same time as the depression and becomes very, very bad I lie on my bed and look out the window. I can’t do anything else except get to the bathroom as needed. It’s like a weird paralysis.

In years past, I would cope with depression by drawing a picture daily of how my day had been. Write down 5 good things each day. Write. Just write. Thoughts, fears, worries, hopes, regrets, anything.

Lie on the lounge with my doona and a pillow while my mother did things and I would just watch and we would talk unless I was too bad, then I just observed and Mum did her things and talked to me.”

Now we’d like to hear from you

In the comments, share some tips that you use to deal with depression.

Thanks in advance!

The post People Discuss How They Deal With Their Depression appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss the Mental Illnesses That Get Unfairly Stereotyped

There’s been a big effort in recent years to de-stigmatize mental illness in general, which is fantastic.

We’ve come a long way in talking about depression and anxiety, and with normalizing talking therapy, but when it comes to some mental illnesses, the stereotypes are still going strong.

That’s definitely the case with these 16 illnesses, and knowledge is power.

16. It will break your heart.

I have gender dysphoria and as a teen I starved myself to look more like a boy and so that my menstrual cycle would stop (amenorrhea caused by weight loss.) I also felt dirty and being thin made me feel clean and empty.

I hated myself and wanted to not exist. I literally wanted to starve myself into nonexistence. Vanity didn’t enter into it.

15. It’s paranoia, not always voices.

Schizophrenics don’t always hear voices. With mine, I hear people trying to break down my door, trying to open my windows, and movement under my house.

Schizophrenia often involves extreme paranoia rather than evil voices; my Bio Psych professor told us how her BIL, if off of his medication, believed that if he left the house for any reason someone would break in after he left to unplug the fridge and spoil all the food.

14. Sometimes there’s no reason.

Mood/anxiety disorders do not need an objective reason for occurring – you don’t need to have a shit life to be depressed or to be in at any actual risk of something bad happening in order to have anxiety. They can just happen randomly or in connection to things that happened far in the past.

Therefore, the common notions that someone is ungrateful for being depressed or having anxiety or that they’re faking it because they “have no reason” to suffer from them is absolutely flawed and the attempt at “fixing” them by pointing out the good things in somebody’s life is futile and antagonizing.

13. OCD gets co-opted often.

OCD is not about being tidy and clean. It involves rescuing, intrusive thoughts and obsessively cleaning is just one of OCD related compilations. It can seriously f*ck up someone’s life.

An example would be turning a light switch on and off 30 times once entering a room or you fear something terrible will happen if you don’t.

It really annoys me when someone calls themselves OCD because they like a clean kitchen.

12. This makes me angry.

If you get angry and go off on someone they ask, “are you off your meds?”

11. If only it were just that.

That depression only makes you sad. There is a myriad of other feelings, and physical symptoms.

10. Most people are just average.

Mental illness does not make you particularly dangerous or a genius.

9. And it gets worse with stress.

Not everyone with Tourette syndrome randomly yells out obscenities.

8. Usually they do.

That crazy people don’t know they’re crazy.

7. It can happen to anyone.

Most people with PTSD and/or CPTSD haven’t been in the military or a war zone.

6. It’s hard to spot.

People with anxiety being highly strung, or nervous about things.

It can manifest itself in that way, but it’s more like there’s always something at the back of your mind that needs doing, but you’re not sure what. Even if you know what that thing is, you can see the end goal, and maybe even the steps to getting to that goal, but staying on that path requires you to fight with self doubt, and the “what ifs” that plague your mind when you’re on the way there.

Also, you can appear quite well adjusted in social situations, but in downtime, overthink every fucking thing.

5. OCD takes over your life.

It’s not liking your pens in color coordinated order- it’s feeling like if this ‘contaminated’ pen touches that one, your sister will die.

If you don’t hit the light switch an odd/even number of times, you’ll die.

The rituals can literally take over your life, and you know they don’t make sense, but you can’t stop.

4. Sometimes you can’t cry.

Depression isn’t being sad all the time and crying a lot.

Parts of it can be but it’s different for everyone.

Personally, I don’t cry often and I’m not overwhelmingly sad, I just don’t feel things. Everything feels numb.

3. It’s much more complicated than that.

That eating disorders are a vanity thing.

And that people with an eating disorder only “want to be skinny and get attention ”

And that eating a banana is going to heal you.

2. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Anorexic people aren’t all skinny teenage white girls.

I’m an average weight, adult man and it drives me crazy how hard it is to find support in the professional world because I’m “not thin enough”

1. Depression is rough.

The sheer exhaustion and feeling of weight. On particularly bad days it’s like I’m wearing a 50lb weight on each limb and a 100lb vest.

People love to say “Exercise and nature will cure your depression!” but it got to the point where I had to stop going to the gym because I was routinely leaving in tears halfway through my workout because I just could not physically or mentally do it anymore.

I have days where I can scarcely physically get out of bed. And all those things that are supposed to give you good endorphins – exercise, fresh air, sunlight, food, even sex… They leave me even more exhausted and miserable.

Now that we know better, let’s do better.

No one likes to be stereotyped, after all.

The post People Discuss the Mental Illnesses That Get Unfairly Stereotyped appeared first on UberFacts.

This is How Synesthesia or ‘Crossing of the Senses’ Works

If you experience synesthesia, then you most likely already know what it means. For everyone else, here’s a quick definition: experiencing something with one sense and somehow, that experience translating to a second one.

Like, you see a scone, and can taste the scone. Or, you hear the letter B and imagine the color yellow.

It doesn’t have to make sense, either; music can be a color, letters can taste like cake – whatever your brain comes up with goes.

Image Credit: iStock

For a long time, researchers believed synesthesia was fairly rare, but a 2006 study that employed objective tests found that’s not true – it affects around 2%-4% of the general population.

One of the reasons it can be hard to pin down is that there are so many different forms of the condition, and as a general rule, synesthesia can occur with any combination of senses or cognitive pathways.

The most common type is graphemes (letters or numbers) taking on certain colors. One synesthete will always see the letter A as red, but every synesthete won’t see the letter A as red – although some letter/number combinations are more common than others.

Sound-to-color synesthesia is the second most common type – a 2006 study found that these synesthetes typically associate a higher pitch to a lighter color, leading researchers to conclude that synesthesia might be using the same cross-modal pathways that most people use, rather than ones unique to the condition.

Lexical-gustatory (olfactory), tasting flavors based on a visual picture, word, or sound, is one of the rarer types of synesthesia – they might even associate smells with certain colors or shapes.

Image Credit: Pexels

Some people claim to taste emotions, or to experience a physical sensation when other people are touched, or even to assign personality traits to random letters or numbers.

Now that we understand (?) a bit more of what it means to be a synesthete, let’s talk a little bit about why scientists think people end up with these strange powers.

Only a little bit, because even though it’s become a popular field of study, synesthesia still isn’t well understood. There is some idea that it has a genetic component, because around 40% of people report a first-degree relative who also has the condition, and most recall experiencing it from a young age.

What scientists do agree on is that synesthesia is a sensory phenomenon that is unrelated to memory – meaning you thinking of a letter being blue because it was blue in your childhood bedroom isn’t the same thing.

Image Credit: iStock

It happens early in the perception process – you mind just makes the connection, it doesn’t spend time searching your memory for it.

Researchers believe synesthesia is a cross-wiring in the brain – that the area for one sense stimulates the area for another. There could be increased neural connections that stuck around when others were being pruned while still in utero – there might even be physical differences in brain matter to find.

Scientists also believe there could be some secondary benefits for people who “suffer,” mainly in the area of memorization. Some synesthetes can memorize a large list of numbers by using their color associates, for example, and some others can distinguish between extremely similar colors.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, though; many report the condition can be grating or uncomfortable, like when they see a letter or number that’s the “wrong” color, if a name doesn’t “taste” right, or other stuff the rest of us will never understand.

I’m not sure I understand humans any better after writing this article, but listen – I do have a renewed respect for how truly different each and every one of us are.

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This is Why People Scratch Their Heads When They’re Thinking

You’ve probably never spent too so much time thinking about how often you touch your face until recently, but the truth is, most people do it more than we ever realized.

We scrub our faces, we play with our hair, we pick at our lips, we rub our eyes, and yes, we scratch our heads all the time.

Image Credit: iStock

Why is touching our faces and heads so common? Why do humans tend to scratch their heads while they’re thinking?

It turns out that there are some pretty interesting answers!

According to San Diego Reader columnist Matthew Alice, some people think it’s as simple as a behavior passed down from our caveman ancestors.

“One popular explanation for any hand-to-head movements is that they’re frustrated aggression – a reversion to the natural movements of our rock-throwing ancestors.

If you watch a small child strike at something, he’ll raise an arm over his head and bring it forward in an arc.

It’s a natural, unstudied movement. Not much finesse, but for a caveman, it got the job done.”

He also reiterated a possible anthropological explanation as well:

Image Credit: iStock

“When we’re wrestling with some knotty problem, we experience feelings of frustration, perhaps some anger, and before we know it, our hand flies up in the air.

But hold it. In these modern times, it’s not polite to bash the guy who asked the question.

So instead we deflect attention from the movement and scratch or rub our head or chin or neck.”

In a 2009 article, former FBI counterintelligence officer Joe Navarro put forth another observation.

“When we are under stress, our brain requires a certain amount of hand to body touching (hand wringing, forehead rubbing, temple massaging, lip touching, etc.).

These pacifiers serve to soothe the individual when there is negative limbic arousal [fear, stress, etc.].”

More recent research seems to bolster the stress theory, and even adds more layers to it.

They studied a bunch of rhesus monkeys and found that they scratched more often when they were stressed.

Image Credit: Pexels

So there you go – there are a bunch of reasons that scratching normal human behavior, so even if you think it’s weird, you’re not alone.

Which is pretty much the way things go with us humans.

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