12 Funny Tweets from Parents About Their Kids

There’s really no arguing that kids today are growing up in an entirely different world – one that didn’t even exist 30 years ago.

And if you’re wondering whether it’s making them grow up too fast, well… these 12 tweets certainly seem to point to yes!

12. Don’t try to pull the wool over that one’s eyes.

11. This attitude will take her far in life.

10. Dream life, honestly.

9. This is kind of depressing.

8. He’s probably not going to be a motivational speaker – but he might write greeting cards.

7. As good an answer as any.

6. My 2yo takes “notes.”

5. A healthy sense of reality.

4. I mean there’s nothing wrong with self-sufficiency.

3. Pretty sick burn for a kid who doesn’t bring home a paycheck.

2. To be fair the whole birth process is some BS on both ends.

1. I bet Alexa told him that.

The proof is in the social media posts!

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15 Tweets from Dads Who Have Accepted the Hilarious, Undignified Reality of Fatherhood

You lose many things when you become a parent, and yes, dignity certainly makes that list.

A reality these 15 dads are definitely living…

Proof below.

15. I mean at least they’re not currently destroying anything.

14. I hope your self esteem can take a beating.

13. I’m sure they just moved along.

12. You definitely wonder why you bother talking.

11. A stark realization.

10. Anyone? Anyone at all?

9. That’s all?

8. This is your full time job now.

7. She’s not wrong.

6. Repeat with sunscreen, diaper cream, soap…

5. Achievement unlocked.

4. Because he’s just given up, that’s why.

3. I feel his posture.

2. It gets less adorable quickly.

1. It’s your job.

Parenthood, man. It’s…great. Mostly.

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Funny Tweets About Moms Who Have Parenting down to a Science

Moms have a tough job. Can we all agree on that?

If you’re a mom and you’re on Twitter… you’ll appreciate these.

If you’re not on Twitter, well, quit messing around and get on there!

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8.

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10.

11.

Moms, how do you feel now? A lot better?

That’s what I thought…

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15 Babysitters Share the Strangest Rules That Parents Gave Them

Babysitting can kind of be a nightmare.

It’s the first job for many teens, and the pay is often less-than-spectacular. Parents often leave lengthy lists for babysitters, covering things like feeding times and routines and screen time. Sometimes parents are a little over the top, though. These 15 babysitters told reddit the strangest rules parents gave them:

1. A stomach of steel

No hot sauce after 9pm.

Edit: To give some context, the kid LOVED hot sauce…but his folks were super over protective…maybe they had heard of ppl eating too much hot sauce an throwing it up as it would not settle?

Honestly the kid was made of solid steel…we went to Taco Bell pretty much every time I babysat.

2. Not staying for a home birth

Hippy family. The two year old had no bedtime and no rules. “She can eat what she wants, no bedtime, and if she falls asleep, leave her wherever she crashed.” The parents came home at 2:30 to a toddler eating chocolate cake on the couch with her preferred American Pickers on tv. That’s fine apparently.

6 months later the mom is very pregnant and asks that when the baby is born, if I could wrangle the toddler while the mom gives birth in a bathtub at home. The two year old was to be in the room, watching, while I explain what’s happening. I left that evening when the parents came home (fried chicken in the toddlers hand, Keeping Up with the Kardashians on tv) and denied their next request to come sit. As a 20 year old, I wasn’t prepared to see the mess of someone else’s home birth!

3. Still in diapers at 6?

I had to change the kids cloth diaper every 2 hours on the dot. The kid was 6. I assumed it was for some sort of disability or something, but no. His parents just didn’t want to potty train him, and the kid was content with being babied. I remember just making the kid put his own diaper on and encouraged him to use the bathroom if he had to go. I never went back.

4. Bribery works

On the opposite end of the spectrum, The family gave me instructions to let their kids drink chocolate milk, which they were otherwise not allowed to have. I think they wanted their kids to associate baby sitter time with fun time, so the parents could go out more often. Seemed to work out well for them, the kids both grew up to be successful people.

5. Uh, no

Asked me to drive their three year old twins around in my personal vehicle for 2.5 hours because “that’s the only way they can nap”.

No. I simply put the kids in their beds, closed the door, and they were asleep in 15 minutes.

6. A bottle?

To give him warm milk in a baby bottle right after every dinner – he was a fully functional 10 year old boy.

Edit: To answer some of the quesions: Yes, he was fine with it; His parents were otherwise normal (as far as I saw), the kid himself was great; His teeth seemed fine from what I can remember (not that I really would have paid attention to that back then), but I just found him on facebook and it looks like he did have braces around 14-15 years old

7. Sleepy CD

I had to put the kids to sleep with the CD player going. That wasn’t the weird part.

It was a recording of their parents basically going “Molly, you are wonderful. You are a star. You’re going to shine bright.” That isn’t super weird…But it was like several hours long, and apparently they listened to it every night.

8. Let him out

“If Brady stands by the door it just means he needs to go out. Open the door, and let him back inside in a few minutes.”

Brady was a four year old boy.

9. No Fleetwood Mac

OMG thanks for asking because you reminded me of a weird thing.

The 3 year old daughter HAD to watch this vhs tape of a live Fleetwood Mac concert before bed.

I was like, okay cute , that’s adorable, 3 year olds love the weirdest things she’s so quirky and this will be fun.

But she didn’t love it. She always wanted to watch land before time instead. But it was always on the note left for me. Like /pager number, pediatrician, chicken soup for dinner is in fridge and, and WATCH FLEETWOOD MAC at 630 before bed/

Obviously the family eventually found out I wasn’t making her watch it, as I had no fucking reason to believe it was a secret. They were clearly upset by this and I was never called back to babysit.

So that was weird…

10. Severe allergy

Not necessarily a rule but the first time I went to their house they told me about their daughter’s very serious peanut allergy, walked me through the epi pen, prevention, phone numbers of their neighbors who were doctors- all fine so far. I took this very seriously. But then the mother put her hands on my shoulders and said “if she dies we wouldn’t blame you. It wouldn’t be your fault”. While I appreciate the thought this freaked me the hell out and I was 100 times less comfortable

11. This is a test

Wasn’t a rule, but on my first day they sent over an adult male friend of theirs who asked to come in. I said no, and was then told I was being tested and I had passed.

12. Seems sketchy

The mom had me put her kids in their car seats and sit in the driveway with all the car doors open while she just hung out inside the house. 5 hours of me standing in the driveway watching them sit inside their car. Never returned.

Edit: I meant I never returned to babysit for her again, not that the mother mysteriously disappeared.

As for people asking why I didn’t take them somewhere, she specifically asked me to just sit in the driveway with them. I also didn’t have my drivers license yet so I couldn’t have taken them anywhere even if I wanted to. The kids were twins who were 4 years old, I think. They were weirdly, weirdly well behaved and didn’t complain about what we were doing. To this day I have no idea what she was doing inside or why she didn’t just let them play in the yard. I am just as confused as you.

13. Seems oddly specific

I was told that the only thing she specifically wasn’t allowed to do was eat a bowl of sugar

14. I heard you the first time

I used to babysit for this family when I was in high school (in the 80s) and they had no books or reading material of any kind, except that there would usually be like two sections of the WSJ and a running magazine lying around. No. Books.

Anyway, once I went over there and the mom told me like nine times, BEGGED ME, not to eat the box of ‘Nilla Wafers that was in the cupboard because she needed them for a recipe the next day. BEGGED. I was like, “Ok, got it. They’re totally safe because I don’t even like vanilla wafers!” She kept mentioning it, and it was the first thing she asked me about when they got home.

15. Emergency dad

Not a rule but a single mom once told me to use the bat by the door in the event the kids father comes by and tries to take them. That was pretty weird and uncomfortable.

 

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20 Memes for Moms That Are Extremely Relatable

Being a mom is a higher learning institution where a toddler is the teacher, and they’re making up new lessons randomly and without warning. And every day you have to pass test after test after test.

And if you fail… oh boy. Let’s not even talk about that.

Let’s just read some memes instead. And eat chocolate. And talk about our kids.

20. How yo doin’?? ?

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

19. Oh, you sassy gurl!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

18. Oh yeah, dat me!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

17. Truth

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

16. RUN! Protect the treasure!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

15. But do you have to, tho?

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

14. Oh, blame the dads again, ehhhhh?

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

13. HALP!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

12. The right is just the industrial version…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

11. “You want to play a game, mommy?”

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

10. Stop touching it!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

9. Damn it feels good to be a toddler…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

8. But would you?

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

7. Complete and utter destruction of the mind, body and soul

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

6. I’m HUGE!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

5. You can do anything. But there are consequences.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

4. Yo betch! Cheez-its! Right meow!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

3. Tonight I googled, “Does giving kids booze to sleep really work…”

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

2. Rules? What rules!?!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

1. Always on poop. Forever on poop.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

Just remember moms… you chose this.

But you’re free to complain.

We’re listening.

We’re always listening…

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If You’re Raising Boys, You’ll Relate to These 15 Memes

If you’re raising boys, you know that those little angels sometimes PUSH YOU TO THE EDGE OF INSANITY!

But you’ll look back on these days with fond memories one day… right? RIGHT?!?!

Suuuuure… keep telling yourself that…

1. Gee, I don’t know

Photo Credit: someecards

2. What’s that smell?

Photo Credit: someecards

3. Fun!

Photo Credit: someecards

4. I told you…

Photo Credit: someecards

5. Uh oh

Photo Credit: someecards

6. Gotta be tough

Photo Credit: someecards

7. You will absolutely say this

Photo Credit: someecards

8. Tell me all about it

Photo Credit: someecards

9. And 50

Photo Credit: someecards

10. Timing is everything

Photo Credit: someecards

11. Sounds amazing

Photo Credit: someecards

12. Hasn’t figured that out

Photo Credit: someecards

13. Don’t risk it

Photo Credit: someecards

14. Ivy League material

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. Stop it!

Photo Credit: Twitter

Keep it up, parents! You’re all doing a great job!

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These Moms and Dads Won’t Be Winning ‘Parent of the Year’ Anytime Soon

You try to do your best for those little monsters but sometimes you just gotta do YOU. But parenting is a tough gig, right?

None of these folks are in the running for ‘Parent of the Year’ and if these look familiar, you probably aren’t either.

1. Might’ve overdone it

2. Do what you gotta do

3. Earmuffs

4. When you’re in jail…

5. TRUTH

6. Major headache

7. Not cool

8. Might want to listen in

9. That’s why

10. Which one is worse?

11. Ugh

12. Pray they don’t notice

13. Sure…

14. It’s over

15. Flip ’em the bird

Maybe shoot for 2020 ‘Parent of the Year’?

Something to strive for…

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For nominatively challenged…

For nominatively challenged parents, a new company offers help. Future Perfect charges $350 for a personalized list of 10 possible first and middle names for a newborn. For $225, you’ll get a list of first names only, while for $100 they’ll provide “a namestorming session like no other.” And for a mere $75, they’ll also […]

A teenage cheerleader’s mom tried…

A teenage cheerleader’s mom tried to hire a hitman to kill her daughter’s cheerleading rival’s mother. She thought if her mom was killed, she would be too sad to cheerlead. The man she “hired” was working for the cops.

Twitter Thread About Mom’s Top 3 Albums Quickly Becomes Hilarious

It all started with a simple question:

For those who are uninitiated, this question is actually a popular meme that makes fun of the way some people hop on the bandwagon of something popular without knowing much about it.

But, Twitter being Twitter, people definitely had plenty of answers. It’s just how Twitter does it.

Wow, this mom is harsh AF!

Oh gawd…

All these threats!

More threats!

Do you know how is in charge?!

Help!

I’ve heard these songs before…

Jesus is making a comeback…

Basically, stores…

A single for the ages…

You better teach yourself!

Just cat mom things…

Yep, all the classics! ? ? ? ?

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