Category: no stupid question

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Have You Ever Wondered Why We Let Santa Claus Take the Credit for Our Gifts? You’re Not Alone!

If your family was Christian (or just not NOT Christian), then there’s a good chance you woke up Christmas morning to find that Santa Claus had visited your home.

Then, at some point in your young life you learned that everyone had been lying to you. Santa wasn’t real, your parents were buying the gifts, etc.

And honestly, most of us really don’t care because we’re still going to get gifts.

This (childless) guy wonders why parents want to give away the credit to a stranger, though. Why don’t family and friends say “this gift is from someone who loves you?”

Why do we give children illusions about Santa etc on Christmas instead of telling them that you get your loved ones a gift? The latter seems more lovely and is actually the truth from NoStupidQuestions

Why the lies?!

Keep reading to find out what these Redditors think about the whole mess!

16. You don’t want to mess it up for others.

I think the biggest problem with telling young people there’s no Santa is because kids have no filter.

When everyone at school is talking about Santa, they’ll blurt out that Santa isn’t real, and they’ll crush all their classmates.

15. Because it’s fun.

When I was a kid my parents would give me gifts from Santa as well as themselves, so it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

She would also write on other gifts from Frosty the Snowman, from Rudolph, and a bunch of other imaginary christmas characters.

My mother even did this long after we stopped believing just for fun.

14. It’s a powerful force.

My mom didn’t raise us to believe in santa We knew it was her.

We still did all the santa stuff (writing letters, leaving out cookies and milk, etc) though just for fun.

13. That’s part of it.

I always thought it was all a way to get kids to behave. You didn’t want to be put on a naughty list.

Kids deal with having to follow their parent’s rules 24/7/365.

They are much more open to the idea of behaving well for a supernatural, omnipotent being that will reward them with presents if they’re good.

12. Things have gotten out of hand.

Aside from the points people have raised about it just being a bit of fun and excitement for the kids at Christmas, the gifts never used to be lavish and expensive, they were usually just small token gifts or treats – so it wasn’t that Santa had gone out and bought you a new Xbox, it was that the small items you found in your stocking on Christmas morning were left there by a magical man who lives at the North Pole/Lapland and visits good children once a year.

Now the holiday has become entirely about consumerism, the idea of Santa leaving all these gifts seems a bit weird and antiquated. I’m not saying we should abandon it (for the most part it’s a nice tradition and just a bit of fun for the little’uns at Christmas), but as others have pointed out it leaves some kids with awkward questions about why Santa likes little Timmy down the road more than them.

Side note, when I was a kid we had both – we’d get some small “stocking filler” stuff from Father Christmas, but the “main” gifts would always be from our parents.

11. It could be practical.

I know when I was a kid my parents weren’t well off at all and loved budgeting so whenever I got a toy or anything it would be something cheap and small.

Every Christmas i would say “Im asking Santa for this because I know it’s too expensive” And “Santa” would get at least one of the expensive gifts and my parents would give me the smaller things.

I think it was good so I never became more entitled and expected more from my parents. As some of the other posts said it made things magical because not only the lore of santa but it was the one time of year I could get a toy that I often saw the kids at school with.

And once I realized Santa wasn’t real it just made the gifts more special.

10. Four months? I think I’m doing something wrong.

“Santa’s watching” is a good excuse to get your kids to behave for like four months.

It also just makes the day more magical and fun.

9. He’s not without issue.

I used to think it was magical or just a bit of fun until I started teaching.

Every year come January the kids would come in and start talking (sometimes bragging) about what Santa had given them.

Sometimes Santa was extremely generous to certain children, others unfortunately not so much.

You could see some of the other children who were “good” thinking to themselves “why didn’t I get as much as everyone else?” It was actually a little heartbreaking.

8. Simpler times.

Historically speaking, the original Santa was a man who gave to the poor and expected nothing in return.

That’s what Santa is supposed to be and it’s supposed to teach children to be selfless and give even if there’s no incentive.

7. Everyone likes playing pretend.

I never really believed my parents about Santa (I think they made some slip-up really early that I picked up on) but I quite enjoyed buying into the fantasy anyway.

It’s a fun make-believe thing and I think actually lot of kids enjoy it even though they see through it.

Most of what young kids do with their friends is pretending anyway.

6. Because wonder.

I will tell my son about father Christmas to have some magic/wonder and I will also give him gifts from family and tell him it’s family because of the reasons you mentioned.

Christmas can be full of magic and wonder and love.

5. Being “in the know” feels cool.

Same, I remember quite early on in life I I snuck down the stairs in the middle of the night on Xmas Eve and saw my Mum wrapping presents.

Shock.

I stayed up the rest of the night literally watching out my window just to be sure, and sure enough… nary a plump, white haired man in a red suit with flying reindeer in sight.

The jig was up after that, I told my Mum and she confirmed but asked that I keep it an “big girl” secret (so not to spoil it for everyone else) and I did, kept on playing along with it to my siblings and friends…

4. It creates an experience.

I think it’s a few things:

It’s about giving your kids a magical story which is WAY cool when you’re young, and also, it gives them something that they can talk about with their friends.

If a kid is unhappy with a gift given to them, they can blame “Santa”, and not their parents. Also, it is easier to convince a child that they should be grateful for a stranger gave to them, instead of their own parents. “Maybe it’s not what you wanted, but Santa delivers billions of presents to kids all over the world” will hurt less than a kid finding out their parent doesn’t even know what kind of toys they like, and buying them bad ones.

I think the experience of finding out that Santa isn’t real is a good one. Parents + adults lie, is a good thing to teach to kids, especially if they employ their own reasoning skills to understand this.

3. Because it just happens.

This is what I’ve been saying but nobody believes me. I never believed in Santa because my mom was against it (she was super angry when she found out as a kid). Still loved Santa. Children don’t care.

What is real and what isn’t doesn’t matter to children as it does to adults. They see no value in what is real, they play make-believe all the time. It’s only when you get older (to old to believe in Santa) that you start to pick on how adults differentiate between reality and fairy tales.

2. That’s beautiful.

I used to tell my son when he was little that Santa Claus was the spirit of giving.

Not a real person, in other words. A symbol.

1. Not everyone does it, though.

I was raised with no Santa. My mom did have to tell me other kids believed in him after I tried to let my best friend in on the secret. Anyway, my parents, the ever weird people that they are, and my aunt (also very weird) came up with a different magical Christmas deity, the Cosmic Christmas Jellyfish, when I was four. I’ll explain the CCJ below because Santa probably would have been better.

The Cosmic Christmas Jellyfish (CCJ for short) live deep below the ocean and sometimes comes out and flies in the sky leaving a colorful goo in his wake that some people mistake for the Northern Lights. He is a giant, colorful, magical flying jellyfish. To receive presents on Christmas you must do as follows: 1. Clean your room 2. Leave a pistachio offering out for him 3. Be asleep. If all of those things are done he will eat the pistachios and poop out your presents. If they are not, however, he will rip you limb from limb, eviscerate you, and leave your guts strewn about your room to be discovered in the morning. I had a weird childhood

I was honestly a bit torn on the whole Santa thing when I became a parent, but it just kind of happens, and you know what?

Magic is hard to come by in life. I say let the kids hang onto it for as long as they’d like.

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A Non-American Wants to Know Why American Parents Kick Their Kids Out at the Age of 18

Let me just say that, as an American, I know plenty of people who were welcome to live at home into their twenties, as long as they were contributing and had a job and all of that.

This stereotype could be the result of American movies, but I’m also sure there are parents out there who feel like 18 years is the commitment they made, and that’s it.

This person is curious why kicking a kid out at 18 became a thing, and Redditors are doing their best to dig out the truth.

Why is it acceptable for a lot of Americans to kick their kids out of home as soon as they turn 18? from NoStupidQuestions

Or at least, the truth as they see it.

Let’s take a look!

15. It depends on the kid.

It also depends on what the kid is doing.

My cousin’s son dropped out of college at 19 to come home and play WOW in the basement 24/7. Refused to get a job, go back to school, volunteer.

After a few months we did an intervention. Said he was free to play video games all day and night, just not at my cousin’s house.

Could go on social assistance, get an apt with friends, whatever, just not stay where he was.

Gave him a three month deadline, by which time he had started going to the gym and had found a college diploma course he liked and headed back to school.

He graduated and is doing great now, has his own apt in another city and a nice girlfriend.

14. It’s a holdover from another time.

I’m 30 now so it’s been a while, but at least when I was a kid it was just a holdover from a time when it was more doable. I come from a blue collar family that never had a college graduate before my generation so nobody ever had debt to worry about, we lived in the rural Midwest where decent-to-high paying jobs in manufacturing and construction were easy to come by, housing in general was cheap, it was all in all just much easier to do when my parents were that age and even easier for my grandparents (all of whom also got married at that age).

The difference with me is that my little farming town absolutely f**king boomed in population when I was growing up, and it coincided perfectly with the manufacturing jobs getting shipped out of town and the financial crash happening right as I graduated high school. I grew up expecting to leave when I was 18 but luckily my mom saw the writing on the wall and knew it wouldn’t be possible by the time I was that age, so she let me stay as long as I was working.

A lot of people in my area specifically (formerly rural, now suburban Midwest) weren’t so lucky, and had way less flexible parents who basically told them to suck it up because it was easy for them so logically it’ll be easy for you too.

So I can’t speak for America as a whole, but while it’s really not nearly as common as it used to be, when it happens in mostly white areas that used to be pretty small, it’s because it used to be easy thirty years ago and some people simply aren’t willing to recognize how different the world is and just shove their kids off to “be an adult” before they have any reasonable chance of being self sufficient.

13. Some families would never.

This only happens in families that already have other underlying issues. If you and your parents get along there is a pretty high likelyhood you are sticking around for a while. If you don’t want to get a job, dropped out of high school, and don’t help out around the house then maybe yeah they will look at giving you a kick in the pants.

A recent study found that 52% of people age 18-29 still live with their parents. This is the highest since the great depression. High cost of rent and student loans are a main contributing factor

12. They expect you to figure it out.

As a 30 something rural Midwesterner it was super common for pretty much everyone I knew. You had a few months after graduation to figure out how to get out. It was less common for kids to focus on only school or getting into college so most people I knew worked throughout high school.

Apartments were dirt cheap so you could actually afford them on minimum wage, this is so obviously not true in most places. I moved out when I was 17 because I wanted the freedom to just do whatever I wanted.

So basically agreeing, anyone could get a job at a factory so there was no reason you wouldn’t be able to support yourself at 18 (in the mind of adults). Everyone just kind of ignored that we were all total morons at that age.

11. A sad sort of story.

My dad flat out said he wanted me gone by 18 and that if I went to college I wasn’t coming back. He would have emancipated me sooner, but my mom didn’t want me to leave. Over time I’ve become convinced my dad never wanted kids especially me.

They were high school sweethearts and my mom got pregnant with my older sister when my dad was in college and at that time they had to get married. Then they had me (another girl) 4 yrs later.

Looking back on my childhood, and some key conversations with my dad and sister, him trying to emancipate me and telling me that by going to college I was on my own after that, was his way off ending his parental responsibilities toward a child he never really wanted.

10. Bootstraps and all of that.

It’s also part of our cult of rugged individualism, and connected with the myth of the nuclear family.

The idea is that once you’re an adult, you’re own your own and need to make your own way in the world.

We value the story of 18 year old struggling for years in crappy jobs and crappy apartments and rooms for rent, using their labor to one day get just enough money to buy a house and repeat the cycle.

This is especially outdated as this cycle is particularly bad at developing actual capital needed to participate in capitalism.

This also goes counter to how most people who actually succeed do it. They have a big support network that they use for debt free college, unpaid internships, and/or capital they use to start businesses.

As you note, older working class folks (boomers) think “I made it” and did not realize how anomalous their experience was. American growth was off the chart and companies were desperate for people. Now, people are just expenses and resources to be exploited. Oh, and if you don’t like it they will move your job to a country where the workers are more desperate or just automate your job away.

9. A bygone era (hopefully).

Hijacking this comment to note that this particular brand of a**holery is most prominent in the boomer “Me” generation. Most children of the Me generation are X-ers.

Post-Watergate (1974), young Americans began to receive a clear message that hedonism, narcissism, and greed were not merely acceptable traits. They were desired traits.

Here’s the general message:

“Do coke. Make money. Smoke weed. Jazzercize! Drink. If you have kids, just leave them at home to raise themselves starting at about seven. Make money. Eat more sugar, buy luxury goods, do more drugs. PTA Meetings! When you kid starts smoking weed at 14, send him to rehab. Don’t make him do his homework: it didn’t help you. He should be making money. And at 18, that f**ker can kick rocks, because now it’s time to retire at 53 with a giant pension and cruise the States in a 50-foot RV. Leave nothing to your children.”

8. Holding onto tradition.

The time period where it was relatively easy to move out at that age lasted long enough for it to become tradition. Basically the idea took hold that young adults moving out was a sign they are independent and mature enough to be on their own, which for parents was a sign of success. If your kid couldn’t move out then it was a sign you failed as a parent. Or that the parents were “coddling” their kids rather than raising someone that could cut it in the real world. Small rural towns placed high cultural value on self sufficiency, with dependence on others as a sign of weakness.

Of course in reality was that moving out was easier then for factors completely outside of the kids’ control. A region having a large demand for labor that doesn’t require much training is a matter of global market forces and level of automation. But if it feels like this is the way it’s always been, then it’s easy for people to only focus on their small town and assume it always will be this way, with no concept of globalization of markets and automation of physical tasks.

Honestly the “make america great again” slogan for some people translates to “make the manual labor jobs reappear so my community’s way of life can remain unchanged and I don’t have to confront how complex the world is”. And the fact that there is no easy way to just “put the jobs back” doesn’t register because they don’t want that to be true.

7. The times are changing.

Adult children living at home has been going up since the millennial generation, it’s the highest it’s been in 60 years

6. It’s a double-standard.

My ex boyfriend’s take on this was that he would have paid for them to live at his house up to 16 (get a job at 16 and pay rent) then kick them out as soon as they graduate. He said because at 18 they are an adult and all adults should take care of themselves.

Now he had crippling back pain and wouldn’t get out of bed for days, expecting others to wait on him. Its a back-a$swards thing that people do…

5. Are we so different?

What’s this compared to European countries? My theory is that the reason it’s been so low before was that America is pretty empty so rent/owning a house has been cheap, and now it’s getting to the point where anywhere near cities is too built up to do the same now.

Europe (and Asia I think) has always been like this and the idea of staying with your family, usually because it’s cheaper (and also looking after family)

4. It’s not everyone.

I’m 27 and my dad keeps on asking me to stay. “our strength is in our numbers” he has always said.

3. Extenuating circumstances.

In our circumstance, we said to our 18 year old son, “You can’t have your girlfriend over to our house while we’re at work and have loud s^x with her while your little sister is home. Give your sister some money and send her to the park for an hour, take her to her grandparents’ house, SOMETHING. This is not okay.”

“Junior, we told you not to do this. Your girlfriend’s moaning and wailing is embarrassing and upsetting. Stop it. This is our house, these are our rules: no loud s^x while your sister’s home. Go to your girlfriend’s house. Get a hotel room.”

“Junior, if you do this one more time, we’re going to kick you out, we’re serious. This is not your house, you pay no rent. We decide what goes on in our house, and this loud moaning and s^x talk cannot go on while your little sister’s home. If you disrespect us and your sister again, you’re out. Do you understand?”

He left us no choice.

Well, she did, really. All she had to do was be quiet, for Christ’s sake.

2. A setup for failure.

My grandmother kicked me out when I was 19. I was working at taco bell for. 7.25 an hour. Gave me 3 months to save up and move out. Kinda impossible making that little. Plus I had to pay for school out of pocket.

Slept outside for 2 days. Called crying asking to come back. She said nah, it’s time you learn how to be a man.

And I never went back. Maybe cause I didn’t talk to her lot or interact socially, But I still think it was f**ked up. Roadmap for failure in the future.

1. Parsing words.

A bit of context you’re missing is that in America, it is/was expected that you move out when you’re 18.

This is a bit of an artifact from a couple decades ago. But the idea was, nobody wanted to stay at home after 18. You turned 18, you were done with school, you could get a job and your own place, have some freedom, live your life.

Compare and contrast to some cultures where you’re expected to live with your parents until you get married. That idea is stifling to many Americans.

Now, all that is different than being kicked out at 18. But that’s the context. Now take a family that has issues, parents who are struggling or abusive in some way, they’ll go “you’re 18, this is America. Get out!”

I kind of love these discussions, I’m not gonna lie.

Did your parents kick you out at 18? Did they have another deal with you? Tell us your experience in the comments!

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A Guy Wondered Why We Say Things Like “Last Night” But Not “Last Morning.”

No one would argue that English is a rough language to learn and to speak, and even those of us who grew up speaking it often have questions about why things are the way that they are.

For instance, why do we say “last night” but not “last morning?”

Why do we say “yesterday morning” but not “yesterday night?”

Why do we say "last night," but not "last morning," and "yesterday morning," but not "yesterday night?" from NoStupidQuestions

If you’re curious, well, read on – these 13 people have some thoughts.

13. Are you time traveling.

I absolutely say Yesternight.

12. That makes sense.

Night would be the last part of the day, so you could say it any time today and it would be correct in its meaning of yesterday night.

Last morning would only be able to be said in the morning, because if you said last morning in the evening, it’d be today’s morning.

11. We like it that way.

Collocations. Basically, those words are just usually grouped together that way and anything else sounds weird.

10. To get specific.

Yesterday is a specific day you’re referencing. Last is just referencing the most recently past, which could be today.

Also, I’ve said yesterday night before. It’s not that weird.

Thinking about it, I tend to use yesterday night when speaking about yesterday night while it is currently night, but if it’s morning or day time, I’ll say last night.

9. As long as you’re consistent.

I’ve met a few Indian folks who say: “yesterday morning”, “tomorrow morning”, and “today morning”, which just sounds weird, but is perfectly consistent.

8. Some people just love to complicate things.

To add to this… yesterday night just sounds awkward. If anything, it should be yesternight.

7. It won’t work every day.

Yester-day ie the day before, therefore last night makes sense.

6. Also a rough one.

How about “this weekend?” I always feel the need to specify past or coming.

5. There’s always gotta be one.

From now on, I’m adding the following words to my vocabulary: “yesternight,” “yestermorn,” “yesterforenoon,” “yesterafternoon,” and “yesterevening.”

4. Maybe we should say it?

Yesterday night doesn’t really sound that incorrect to me??

3. We’re lazy.

“Yesterday night” I suspect isn’t common because it’s a mouthful and has the words “day” and “night” together which is confusing as you have to work out for a moment if it’s day or night you’re talking about.

We tend to use “yesterday morning” because if it’s the afternoon then “last morning” could be confused with THAT morning (as it’s technically the last morning) rather than the morning before which was “yesterday” and therefore “yesterday morning”.

2. Strictly speaking.

It’s weird, some people think it’s normal English and wouldn’t notice if someone else used it, but to others, it sounds totally foreign.

Per Wiktionary:

Last night occurs about 1,000 times more often than yesterday night in the US, UK, Canada, and Australia, Last night occurs about 100 times more often than yesterday night in Singapore, India, and South Africa.
Strictly speaking, it is grammatically correct. And it is used throughout the English speaking world, just much less than “last night”. So technically, it is correct English.

Anecdotally, I think people who are either not native speakers of English, or are native speakers but grew up around people who did not speak English, are more likely to use “yesterday night”. I definitely hear white Americans use it sometimes, though.

1. It’s confusing.

When you use last morning does the last reference the morning of the same day or the morning of the last day?

Technically last should be in reference to only the morning part so as long as it is afternoon the last should 100% reference the same day. However a lot of times when talking about something that modifies days we let the time modify day as well. For instance I might say “this morning” even though it is 2 pm. I think we recognize the ambiguity naturally and instead use yesterday since that tells us what day we are talking about out right and we have this for today anyway.

Last night doesn’t have this problem however since the last night always crosses the day time frame.

I will add one other thing as an aside, yesterday will reference day + night if there isn’t a time frame but most people don’t generally picture night time as an option. Which is why I don’t think you hear yesterday night, though yesternight sounds fine but old timey.

I really loved delving into this one!

What are your thoughts? What are the language things that stump you?

Share in the comments!

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A Black Woman Asks Why Black Men Give Her Trouble About a Preference for White Men

Life can get be tricky, and we all have tough questions about the way the world works – at at least, how it can seem to look from our points of view.

When it comes to dating, it’s best if people mind their own business. That said, it doesn’t always happen.

I’m a black girl who mostly dates white guys. Why do black men get upset when they see me out with a white man? I see black men with white women all the time and I don’t think anything of it. from NoStupidQuestions

This Black woman prefers to date white men, but feels as if she’s being judged by Black men about her choices. She’s curious why – and these 15 people are willing to weigh in.

15. It’s not everyone.

I’m a walking talking white stereotype. My black wife and I are very happy. Our respective families love us very much and have long since moved past any prejudice that might have existed.

Don’t ever disqualify yourself from asking out someone you like. They might be worrying about the same thing.

14. It’s all about control.

To be honest, I think it’s about some weird sense of ownership – almost like a tribe mentality that’s gone off the rails into something dark. And that can sometimes get tied in with a depressing sense of inferiority that’s been placed on black people for centuries.

For reference, I’m a black woman who’s married to a white man. Before we were together, I mostly dated white guys.

In my experience, the only people who’ve ever had a problem with that have fallen into two categories: racist white people who think I’m garbage and want me to stay with “my kind” instead of bringing down my partner’s station in life (as an in-law so eloquently stated to me once). Or racist black people who think I’m acting like I think I’m “too good” for black men.

Of the latter, I find it’s often black guys but it’s also some black women. I think their explanations for it come from a really dark and depressing place that reflects the history of race in America. I’ve had some tell me I should only be with black men because so many white people already see black people as less desirable. So that in my choosing to be with someone else, I’m discriminating against my own people.

Another argument I’ve heard is that white men have historically taken advantage of others and often in the form of forced marriage or sexual assault with women of other cultures. I had some jerk who was trying to pick me up at a bar tell me I was making a mistake by allowing a white man to “claim” me. That gross interaction has stayed with me all this time later because I sat there looking a brother in the eyes and having him degrade me like that just because I wasn’t going to sleep with him.

The whole idea doesn’t make sense. But from what I can understand, the people who are loudest about this have some really rough feelings about race and have internalized them instead of trying to work out their own prejudices and enlightening themselves. It’s sort of like a racism towards white people that internalized into a devaluing of self. If that makes sense.

These are such sad ways to look at life. Because it just creates more prejudice and implies that as black women, we’re still not free to make our own choices. Only in this context, it’s “our people” trying to own us.

13. History.

I’m just like you my dear. I’m a black girl and I date outside my race.

For some black men, a white woman is like the ultimate prize, even though they want you to only be with black men. A lot of black see white women as a trophy, like once they come up, it’s all about white women and that’s terrible as well.

I have my own feelings about that considering the history of it all, but we like what we like.

12. Try to be happy.

Crazy how hard it is to find someone who shares your beliefs and values, is willing to grow with you through the ups and downs, and ultimately tries to better both of your lives and there are people whose reaction is “yea but…different color”

Just be happy. You shouldn’t have to bear the burden of other people’s poor experiences.

11. It takes time to change.

The answer to this is because white woman since slavery have been seen as socially more valuable than black women.

It’s the same thing as why white men are the most preferred statically in interracial dating they’re seen as the wealthiest and most powerful. Also self hate is a thing.

10. A human issue.

I think it’s more jealousy, feelings of inadequacy, and prejudice coupled with tribalism than a subconscious/primal view of relationships as the man “owning” the woman. Reacting poorly to our feelings and experiences is something all people need deal with.

I believe the reason you are stumped is because you are looking at this as a sex issue when it is a human issue. While men tend to be more comfortable with open/public acts of aggression, I’ve seen numerous women attack other women for simply talking to “their man” or more often attack “their man” for associating with other women.

Regardless of the reason anyone may ascribe as to why people act this way I think we can agree that it is, as most human interaction is, a complex multi-faceted issue.

9. Maybe they don’t know the reason.

I’m white and my wife is black and we have two mixed boys. My sister in law only dates white guys as well. I have been called names, threatened and she has been treated poorly by her own race because of it. The people doing it never give a reason but not once in 5 years has a white person ever said anything negative. My family welcomed her with open arms and her family wants nothing to do with her.

People of her own race constantly say things like “you talk like a white person” and “you act like a white person” and she explains it a certain way, which I am honestly scared to type out because I’m scared people will call me a racist. But here is what MY WIFE WHO IS BLACK says about what is happening to her (as well as this is echoed by her sister)

They don’t date black men because of how they view that they treat women. They date white people because in their eyes white people are overall less racist than black males. They both view white men as less violent and more trusting. She has been called a race traitor more than once.

Now (I’m not bragging here) My wife and her sister are extremely attractive and her brother has told them that you can’t “ruin” the race by taking good genes and giving them to the “white race”.

This might be completely unbelievable but I was with my wife on a bus in New Haven and we were holding hands, this is when we were dating. I was the only white person on the bus and this lady, who had to be in her 40’s, started to nudge the back of my legs (I was standing and she was sitting) and calling me a cracker and calling her an Uncle Tom type. Most of the people on the bus got in on it and I was ripped apart and so was she. We stood and said nothing and then they told me when we got off the bus they were going to stab me. The bus driver pretended not to hear it but was on the phone with 911 and had them meet us at the stop at the mall. I was lucky.

I’m sorry that in this day and age anyone cares who anyone is with. Our two boys are soooo handsome. Mixed children have beautiful skin tone. My wife isn’t black she’s just, her. You’re not black, you are whoever you are. Skin color doesn’t matter what matters is what is inside you. Love who you love and damn anyone tells you different. No matter their skin color.

8. Try to show them love.

White South African here. I was brought up to understand that interracial relationships and gay relationships was wrong, and against the will of God. It took me a long time to overcome my indoctrination but I think I’ve figured it out.

If you find love that is real…embrace it. Do not judge a person by the color of hisher skin, but by his/her words, and his /her actions. Accept different cultures, but question their believes if it restricts your freedom.

Don’t rely on some elusive God to grant your wishes. Seek strength within yourself to overcome. This is our greatest gift, to be independent. Try to extend your love your idiot neighbours.

7. It’s all about family.

I am a white guy married to a black woman. We’re in the UK and in London, so probably not quite as racist as some parts of the UK (or indeed parts of the US).

However, the only racism I have encountered is from black guys, towards me mainly.

I’ll get teeth being sucked at me when we’re out holding hands, and I get the stink eye from black guys frequently.

My wife, bless her, doesn’t notice 90% of it.

However, I do and my punching hand itches.

The worst was when we’re out and about in Brixton and I nearly got in a fight… it would not have ended well for me…

I’ve never had any hassle from white guys, although maybe I just don’t notice it!

I love her family, they love me and my family love her and our kids.

6. Sad and twisted indeed.

I’m a white Aussie and I think the first time I realized this was a thing, and not uncommon was when I saw Get Out. It’s such a sad, twisted little quirk. Just baffles me people can be so hateful. The sad thing is, I suppose I can sorta see why some people might think along these lines.

America has had such… horrible times in their history (sadly even now at times). Not that it’s unique to the US. But I can see why some people might be uncomfortable with some things considering some shit that’s happened.

Not that it justifies anything. It’s a sad thing all round.

5. It could be a competition.

Alright I am a half black guy who looks far more black than white and I think I might have some real answers. To preface, many of the black ladies in my life have dated white men and I’m totally fine with it.

In my experience when some black men date white women they kind of see it as stealing from the white men. Obviously this isn’t always the case, but I think the guys who get upset over black women dating white men are subconsciously or consciously viewing the whole situation as a racial competition among men. They think when a black guy dates a white girl he’s overcoming centuries of history, but if the roles are reversed it’s just white domination continuing.

Again, I really really really don’t believe in that kind of thought. If you really care about somebody or just find them attractive, go for it.

4. Tribalism.

Jealousy, racism and an ‘us and them’ mentality.

3. The simplest explanation is usually correct.

Racism.

2. She’s not alone in her experience.

I just talked about this with a biracial girl who posted that the black side of her family got upset when she dated white guys. I feel like I see white girls with black his all the time but not the other way around.

So much so that if I’m attracted to a black girl I’m unlikely to express interest because I feel like black girls aren’t interested in white guys. She felt that that was generally how her black friends and family felt.

I don’t understand the double standard either.

1. Sexist and racist.

It seems to be a fairly common sexist thing.

Plenty of white dudes get angry when they see white women with black or Asian guys, even if they themselves only date black or Asian women.

It doesn’t really make sense.

I appreciate the conversation that’s happening here.

If you have something to add, drop your thoughts in the comments!

The post A Black Woman Asks Why Black Men Give Her Trouble About a Preference for White Men appeared first on UberFacts.

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“If Most People Think of Chefs as Male, Why Is Cooking at Home Thought of as Woman’s Work?” Here’s How People Responded.

Stereotypes are strange and misogyny is nothing if not insidious. There’s no reason for people to associate the job of “chef” with “man” these days, but I would venture to say that most people probably do.

There’s less reason for cooking at home to be seen as something women do, but ask the majority of two-person households out there who cooks most nights.

This guy wants to know why those two stereotypes co-exist and honestly, I’m pretty interested in these 15 answers, myself.

Why is it that being a chef is a male stereotype but cooking at home is a female stereotype? I don’t get it? from NoStupidQuestions

Let’s take a look…

15. Men would like change, too.

If given the chance to have a stay at home husband look after the kids, I’d imagine many more women would go on to have professional careers in the arts.

But that’s more of a cultural shift that would be needed I feel, maybe in the future it will shift more

14. It’s all about the money.

Because cooking at home doesn’t pay!

For example knitting used to be a sole male profession back then since it was highly paid. As machines were introduced in the industry the pay plummeted and guess what? It became a female craft.

That’s how society traditionally worked for ages. What is profitable is man’s work and women work for nothing or little pay.

13. Time to change the default.

It’s like that for many things.

Gardening and flowers are girly but landscaping and top experts in the field are men.

Fashion is girly but top fashion designers are men (Gucci, Ralph Lauren).

Child rearing is for women but top childcare experts are men (dr. Gerber, Dr. Sears).

I think it goes back to when women didn’t work so all the professionals in every field were men out of default.

12. That’s not right.

This goes with a lot of professions. Teachers vs professors, nurses vs doctors.

Also interesting observation: once women started becoming secretaries, the profession started getting paid way less and being taken less seriously. Same with teachers.

11. Nailed it.

One is a position of power, one is a position of servitude.

10. Chefs vs. cooks.

other answers here are pretty simplistic so basically:

women were the primary cooks up until the concept of going to a place specifically to eat a quality meal (i.e., a restaurant) became popular. remember that the concept of restaurants (as we know it today) didn’t really exist until the late 18th century.

once people realized that this was a potentially lucrative business, women were pushed out. and, in many places, women were not allowed to hold property or control their own money (there were exceptions to this but usually only for already upper class women). therefore, there was no real way for women to wrench this business back from men. the label of “chef” helped the men distance themselves from what was otherwise considered domestic work ,or “women’s work”. women were “cooks” in the home, men were “chefs” in business.

this distinction has only recently began to go away.

tl;dr: the advent of the modern restaurant forced women out of their traditional work because of the opportunity for men to make money. those men became “chefs”, and the women stayed “cooks”. only now just starting to shift.

9. The only answer we need, really.

Sexism bro.

The patriarchy is one hell of a drug.

8. It’s not for family.

Cooking at home is associated with caregiving. You care for your kids, partners, etc.

Cooking in a restaurant is associated with making money, and is well known to be a high stress environment.

Caregiving stereotypes are directed at women, while men’s stereotypes surrounding being a breadwinner and dealing better with stress.

7. That about sums it up.

Women are expected to be able to cook because it’s their duty to their families.

Chefs are supposed to be artists, something traditionally male oriented. It’s a career.

It’s stupid.

6. Men don’t do chores.

I assume it’s because home cooking is seen as more of a chore, and being the head of a prestigious restaurant is a respected profession.

Back in the day people used to believe women shouldn’t work, but should instead be taking care of the home while the men went off to work.

5. But it doesn’t have to be true.

It’s a stereotype because it’s true. According to the first Google result I lazily pulled up whole searching “percentage of female chefs”, only 18.7% of chefs and executive chefs were female in 2012. That’s four out of five chefs being male, a huge discrepancy.

Why? That’s more speculative, but being a chef is a very different skill-set to being good at cooking. I love cooking at home (I’m female), but would loathe running a commercial kitchen. Because the cooking’s only part of it, and the rest is managing staff, running a physically demanding, high-pressure, competitive, somewhat physically dangerous job with write an aggressive culture (lots of shouting, swearing and general motivation-by-abuse) with hours that don’t mesh well with having a family life. I imagine it psychologically appeals to men more than women on average, just by the nature of the beast. And that’s OK.

As for cooking at home being a female-dominated activity, 70% of women cooked a home in 2018 as opposed to 46% of men (again, first result of low-effort googling). So the stereotype is less accurate – men cooking at home is on the rise – but still not entirely wrong.

The reason for that is probably historical – throughout history women tended to stay around the house more, taking care of the children, while the men worked inside or outside the home at a more specialised task (being a cobbler, lawyer, blacksmith or what-have you). It just makes sense that the person who was in proximity to the kitchen, and had the time to prepare food, would do it.

And in many cases, historically, it wasn’t a simple as home cook vs chef. Farming women would often earn money though food preparation, making cheeses and preserves to sell, winning prizes for their signature dishes at the county fair, or taking in boarders.

As women entered the workforce the idea that a wife ‘should’ cook has persisted, even when it makes little sense because she’s out of the house as much as her husband. But that’s changing, and fairly rapidly, these days – although it’s worth mentioning that even working women generally work fewer hours than working men, on average.

4. Because more women stay home.

Women traditionally stay at home, hence being a home cook. men traditionally get a profession, and being a chef is a well paying profession. edit now that this got big: i should have worded it better.

It pays well for the type of profession it is.

It’s a profession that a lot of people love doing. for example, being a plumber pays better but nobody wakes up in the morning happy to be plumbing, ya know.

3. It’s all in the gender roles.

Read that somewhere, gist was: because the cooking are different roles here, at home it’s the serving (the family/husband) in a restaurant that role is the server (which is stereotypical the female part in a restaurant) while the chef (cooking) is the leader in a kitchen/restaurant.

2. Who has the power?

This is a pattern across many different art forms.

More girls than boys take art, music, theater, etc in school, but more men than women become professional artists, musicians, broadway actors, etc.

As others have said, it comes from gendered power structures.

1. Not all men are chefs.

I’m going to replace the word “chef” with “cook” to answer part of this question.

The majority of cooks, myself included, come from rough or self-destructive backgrounds. Addicts, alcoholics, convicts, etc. The majority of these cooks are male; not entirely sure why, but I like to think that its a community that is more welcoming to those who have been through the same shit and are just trying to get through life while females in the same boat tend to have other options. Also, the background check to be a cook is almost non-existent. Statistically there are a lot more men with criminal records than women. A lot of these cooks do fall in love with it and end up going on to become chefs with a good salary instead of living paycheck to paycheck.

That’s just my guess though.

As far as women in the kitchen at home: 1950’s TV and years and years of women being told “you don’t need to work, stay at home and raise the kids and make dinner” is my best guess.

We need to stop all stereotyping! Root it out in yourselves, people – that’s the best place to start.

If you’re a man who likes to cook, tell us in the comments whether anyone in your life thinks it’s strange, or gives you a hard time.

The post “If Most People Think of Chefs as Male, Why Is Cooking at Home Thought of as Woman’s Work?” Here’s How People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About the Question: How Are We Supposed to Save The Planet When It’s Cheaper to Trash It?

Reddit has a forum called “No Stupid Question,” and this one is pretty great.

The OP (original poster) points out that even if a person wants to do the right thing for the environment and the planet and such, the fact that it’s literally cheaper to like, throw out your entire printer instead of buying a new ink cartridge make it hard.

How are you supposed to do what’s best for the environment when it’s cheaper to purchase a whole new printer than it is to buy ink cartridges? from NoStupidQuestions

That’s just one example of course.

Let’s see what these 16 folks had to say in reply to his not-a-stupid question, shall we?

16. Be the bigger person.

Same way you expect governments and corporations to spend money to protect environment – you do what you know is best even if it costs more or is less convenient.

Also last I heard you can refill the cartridges instead of buying new ones

15. You might just have to work harder.

Assuming you’re using printers and cartridges as an example, that’s the point. Environmental damage exists because it is in general easier and cheaper to do things that are worse for the environment.

This ranges from throwing recyclables away instead of recycling, to chemical plants throwing unprocessed waste away directly into rivers.

At some point, you have to evaluate whether the damage to the environment of some action is “worth” the alternative.

In your case, this would be the cost of buying ink cartridges rather than new printers (buy a laser printer).

14. Make a choice.

If you’re concerned about the environment, you do the thing that’s better for the environment… If and when you can.

You’re not compelled to do the cheapest thing possible all the time, to the detriment of your values.

13. A fair alternative, at least in this case.

I guess the best you can do is recycle the old printer, but even then, you can’t guarantee that any of the components will actually be put to use.

12. They’re trying…sort of.

Fortunately, manufacturers have started bringing refillable ink tanks to their printers. Canon G2000 for example, comes with a full tank of ink that should last a home user a couple of years.

And refilling it is quite reasonable. 40$ gets you all the colors you need and lasts another couple of years.

It has it’s drawbacks though. For example if you don’t print that much, air can get into the ink tubes which is easily fixed by a printer cleaning but it’s troublesome.

11. The more you know.

Here. From PC World:

Costco inkjet refills ($8 to $10, plus sales tax where applicable; HP 60 refill for black or tricolor cartridge, $8) Vendor URL: Costco Inkjet Refill Service

10. You’re probably wrong.

I simply stopped using a printer. I have “needed” to print something exactly 4 times at home since 1999.

When I need to print, I go to Staples/FedEx/whatever is nearby somewhere I will already be anyway.

You may think “that’s ridiculous, I cant stop printing?!?”… Well tbh, you’re probably wrong, and if you think about it very little of what you’ve printed has needed to be printed, or at least been printed immediately at home, on demand.

9. If you want to get technical about it.

The best thing you can do for the environment is elect a government that will enact systemic reforms forcing corporations to pay the cost of repairing the damage they do to the environment.

The printer isn’t particularly relevant.

8. Yeah, man. Totally.

Planned obsolescence is the enemy of the environment.

7. Damn the man.

You’re not. The idea that any individual person can significantly impact the environment—by reusing bags, by buying a Prius, by turning down the AC in the summer, by buying organic—is a myth propagated by large corporations to shirk responsibility for modern climate change.

Within the current dominant economic system (i.e., capitalism), not only is it completely impossible to live in an eco-friendly way, but even if you could do that, you’re only 1 person out of 7.5 billion (and counting). You have no power to help the planet except by fighting capitalism. Capitalism’s only way to exist is to grow, extract, grow, extract, grow, extract, ad infinitum, which is not sustainable. Capitalism can never coexist with widespread, genuine care for nature.

Also, capitalism is inherently both racist and imperialist (look up “mlk three evils”).

We gotta change this sh%t up.

6. Invest in quality.

As people point out there are better lasting printers out there, but a lot of people think affordable rather than long term.

In terms of printers, i’ve rarely needed one so buying a new one has literally been every 7 or 8 years.

But its the same for a lot of things people buy. Why is it cheaper to buy a heap of junk food instead of eating healthy? Because junk food tastes nice and people will buy more of it than health food.

I once bought shoes from Kmart for $30 and in a month became so uncomfortable, they were torture to stand/walk in. Saved my pennies and bought them from a proper shoe shop for $180 and 6 years later they are still going strong.

Those who make cheap things with shoddy quality dont care about the environment.

5. Well maybe you can make a difference?

This isn’t entirely true, I’m actually studying sustainability and climate change and thought it is true that an individual’s chooses have less of an impact that that of a large company it can still have a significant effect. People indirectly control the industry if 10% of people stop buying beef that’s a 10% drop in profit for beef producers. That can have a serious effect on how a company operates so while it is important to change the policy regulating large corporations it is still important for individuals to live more sustainability especially since the implementation of new policy is painfully slow.

If anyone wants advice on some minor changes you can make to live more sustainability here are some of the best things you can do.

fly only when absolutely necessary. Flying is one of the most environmentally damaging things an individual can do if possible drive or take a train/bus.
reduce your consumption of beef and dairy products. Cows are responsible for a significant amount of global warming due to their emission of methane which is a much better greenhouse gases than CO2. Cows are the biggest offender but generally meat is the worst offender the least environmentally damaging meat that is available is chicken.

try to repair devices and applications whey they have broken and simply buy less stuff especially if it is single use this reduces your impact as you will consume less and will cause you to produce less waste.

4. I think it’s the walking that’s the key.

Personally, I walk to the library or the UPS store.

This is one of the reasons cities are a pretty eco way to live—strangers can share instead of buying their own shit.

3. Just wait for evolution to catch up.

We need to evolve as a people. It has to do with consumer demand. We need to demand longer lasting or products.

Maybe have our government s subsidize the good stuff. And tax the single use type crap.

2. Even that’s a scam.

Recycling has so much better of a reputation than it deserves. It’s just one small step above throwing stuff straight in the garbage.

“Reduce, Reuse, Recycle” is in priority order. Recycling is a last ditch option before throwing stuff away. The best option is to just use less stuff.

1. We can only do so much one person at a time.

Doing what’s best for the environment isn’t really about what you and I do day to day. On an individual level, we could be vegan as fuck and be completely carbon neutral without making a dent on the vast, global environment. Even that #TeamTrees thing on YouTube will do next to nothing, as great as that was.

What needs to happen is companies and governments need to take immediate, drastic action. That’s the only way we can save the planet. If you still want to do something yourself, then the best thing to do is get involved in politics and campaigns, and make sure to vote for people who genuinely want to tackle the climate crisis.

Of course consumers are gonna pick the cheapest options that are worse for the environment. Especially if they have to pick between the environment or feeding their kids. It’s up to companies and those in charge to make the more environmentally friendly options more accessible.

It’s kind of depressing when you lay it all out like that, don’t you think?

What are your thoughts on companies making it harder than it should be to do the right thing?

Let’s talk about it in the comments!

The post People Talk About the Question: How Are We Supposed to Save The Planet When It’s Cheaper to Trash It? appeared first on UberFacts.

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Do You Feel More Like an Observer in Life Than a Participant? 14 People Share Their Thoughts.

If you haven’t realized by now that it takes all sorts of people to make the world go ’round, well, you probably haven’t been paying attention. We’re all made up a bit differently – some introverts, some extroverts, some who want attention and others who shun it.

Those are just a few examples, but what happens when you’re dissatisfied with what seems to be your lot in life?

This OP (original poster) is wondering whether feeling like an observer of life instead of someone living their life is normal…and if it’s ok.

Does anyone else feel like they’re just an observer and not an active participant in life? from NoStupidQuestions

These 14 people have some great thoughts on the matter.

14. It could be anything. Or just a human thing.

Really! I’ve been saying this about myself for decades. I looked up depression and every definition or take on it. I know that’s not a diagnosis but I feel like I’m not depressed. A pussy maybe? An avoider of tangled webs? Sure. Someone who just doesn’t really care? Definitely. I remember reading that people felt weird eating alone or going to the movies alone. It never crossed my mind just like this.

I’m just generally amused by observing. I hate to say it but it’s the only thing that fits. Nihilist maybe? Cringy, I know.

I sleep because I’m sleepy. I eat because I’m hungry. I do whatever I feel is bothering me the most in the moment. That is as far as purpose as I’ll go. As far as meaningful stuff in the future that will inevitably come up, I’ll cross that road when it comes but try not to look back in regret.

Go ahead and give me an online diagnosis based just on what I wrote. It’s ok, it’s free so I’ll take it with a grain of salt!

13. Get out and do it…someday.

i feel that way because i never really do anything. even though i want this life full of adventure and crazy stories.

i never go out and make them happen.

i kind of just exist, like i always have

12. It might be depression.

High functioning depression sounds like this.

I’ve always enjoyed people watching and observing rather than doing. But then I force myself to do a lot of things even though I never truly enjoy them, seeing my friends/family enjoy that I’m there is something.

Making others happy around you makes you feel like your life has more meaning and a purpose.

11. The grass is not always greener.

I lead a life that most people think is full of adventure and crazy stories, and somehow I often feel like the observer too.

10. It might be the worse kind of depression.

as someone with severe depression who gets dissociation, depersonalization and derealisation I disagree.

dissociating is extremely unpleasant

9. No one’s life is all highlights.

One thing I’ve read is, “Don’t compare someone else’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes footage.”

I think that’s important to remember.

8. Some people are just happy being alone.

Yeah, I feel like I’ve observed my whole life and never really participated, but I’ve pretty much always been ok with it. I never thought it was a problem. I’ve always been ok with being the only person in my life. I love doing things alone.

When I’m with others, especially groups, I very much struggle to find meaning in the interactions so I basically just observe, but not in a sad way, I just don’t feel the need to participate unless I’m doing so in a way that is meaningful/helpful.

I was diagnosed with depression a few years back and I’ve been “managing” it ever since. But the funny thing is, when I look back to when I was a child, I felt the same. And even looking into the future, if I end up with someone, or have kids or whatever, I feel like it won’t change the core of my default mode.

But like I said, I’m not unhappy with it. It just is what it is and I don’t mind haha

7. Being left behind doesn’t feel great.

Yeah.

For a couple of years I’ve kind of just feel like I’m invisible or something.

Or like I’m stuck in place while everyone else goes on without me. Feels bad, man.

6. Don’t worry about pretending.

I’m on the exact same page, man.

I don’t care about diagnoses.

My behavior is the result of my nihilistic perspective and I’m fine with it.

I’m not happy about it. I’m not sad about it. But I’m definitely over trying to pretend that I care about things that I don’t.

The biggest stressor in my life is my family trying to convince me that something’s wrong. I take care of myself. I eat well. I exercise. I have no debt or dependents.

I could disappear right now and nobody’s life would be interrupted.

5. There are ways up and out.

I felt like this for years.

Struggled with depression, anxiety, and a slew of other things during that time. Last year, I got a job at a Juvenile treatment center, more specifically a trauma center. Got some promotions, started making good money and became pretty well liked at work. Since then I’ve made a lot of really good friends (funny how stress and really crazy situations bring people together) and I’ve been a lot happier.

Helping kids and having people who look to me when shit hits the fan has really done a lot for my confidence in life. Doing odd jobs before, and going through the motions, without putting effort into work or my relationships really did make me feel like I just kind of existed. I’m like, waaaaay more tired all the time now, but at least I have a lot of good reasons to wake up in the morning now.

4. Huh.

Depersonalization.

Everything is so surreal and I feel like I’m watching my life play out. I’m aware, but not aware. Often I’ll know where I am physically, but not know where I am physically. It’s pretty f*cking wack just basically being a ghost unable to grasp the world around you.

3. Hold your breath and leap.

The “stuck in place” part hit me hard. Wanting to change and develop yourself, but never really getting closer to where you want to be is a shitty feeling. I don’t have the perfect plan for overcoming this, but i do think that the “just go for it” method is a possible solution.

Going for opportunities and being in uncomfortable situations made me happier and more socially active. Creating opportunities, like finally getting a job was also helpful and made me feel a bit of accomplishment.

I wish you the best, truly and i hope you find yourself in control over your life soon. Stay strong my man.

2. Find your meaning.

This happened to me when I went to University. I was the second best student in my class in college, I was proud of that fact.

As soon as I went to Uni I realized just how small I am how pointless everything was as there’s another 300 people just like me doing this course, another 30,000 around the country doing the same thing. Why should I try If someone else could easily replace me. If theres another 30,000 people doing this course then why should I try, why should I bother with anything.

I actually dropped out of Uni after my second year because of depression. Went to a therapist for a handful of sessions before going on antidepressants for a year.

Feel much better now and really enjoy life, especially the new course im doing at uni ?

1. It never hurts to get a professional opinion.

I went through this big time in college. The best description I found was from a song. “Have you ever walked through a room But it was more like the room passed around you? Like there was a leash around your neck that pulled you through…”

But yea. That’s a sign of depression. Start by putting extra effort into connecting with friends and family. If that’s either too hard to do or not enough to help you out I suggest talking to a professional.

I think everyone feels this way sometimes, but it would be disconcerting to feel this way all the time.

If you’ve got thoughts of your own, share them with us in the comments!

The post Do You Feel More Like an Observer in Life Than a Participant? 14 People Share Their Thoughts. appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About This Question: The IRS Knows What We Owe, So Why Don’t They Send Bills Instead of Making Us Do Taxes?

I feel the sentiment behind this question to the depths of my soul I hate doing taxes. Loathe them.

As someone who is self-employed, though, I know why the IRS wants us to do our own taxes – they figure we’re going to cop to income they might not know about specifically.

That, or we’re going to report giving income to someone else who doesn’t report it, something like that.

Also, though, they would have no way of knowing about expenses, etc, if we didn’t tell them, but that said, the majority of single income, W2 earners aren’t coming up with any of those surprises.

Here are 17 other reasons the IRS is probably never going to let you out of this chore.

17. Stay paranoid, people.

This is one of the few actual answers. Taxes as a way to 1) collect government funds and 2) encourage certain behaviors. The govt wants an educated population. How does the government know how much you spent on education expenses? How does the government know if you gave anything to charity? And on the business side of tax, how do they know how much money a business has come from debt? Companies don’t want to much debt because it makes it more risky, but interest is tax deductible.

You don’t want the government knowing all of your whereabouts. This is how you get government overreach. To ensure that you gave them the correct amount, they do compare it to how much your employers report, but they actually use a statistical method called sampling to randomly (but also not so randomly to the people who are way off) decide whether to send someone to verify of what was reported was correct. The penalties of knowingly lying on your taxes is huge.

Can you get away with not reporting other income? Probably, but in an audit, if this is a large amount that went unreported you are going to have some problems.

16. It’s all about the money.

Because the tax preparation industry is huge and makes billions of dollars off this system. Everyone of your financial institutions reports your finances to the IRS so yes they already know how much you owe. Ronald Reagan wanted to make file taxes and easy as getting a bill but couldn’t because companies like H & R Block are huge lobbyist.

15. And all trails lead to Washington’s pockets.

To influence tax law by lobbying, implies legislators are willing to be influenced by lobbying, instead of doing their jobs and representing the people.

When are we going to start blaming those legislators?

14. It’s simple…for some people.

They don’t know how much you owe.

They know what your W-2 says, and what any 1099s you received say.

They don’t know if you had extra income that wasn’t reported – drug sales, lemonade stand, gambling winnings, etc.

They don’t know what deductions you have – new baby, high medical expenses, gambling losses, student loan or mortgage interest, etc.

If you used the correct withholding information, and only had a steady salary that was reported properly – then withholding should have taken enough money.

They probably owe you money, but you have to file to get it back.

13. Because they enjoy the confusion.

Had an old boss who was a prior ordering clerk of some sort in the US Navy. He explained to me many times how they were often required to order compulsory supplies from inter-government agencies that were ridiculously inflated compared to any other private vendor, and a bunch of other things that pointed to it all basically being a giant, cannibalistic method of basically laundering money around the system from within.

This was explained to me at a hazmat job I did for a while, one year as we all waited for the EPA to shake us down like they did every year, despite our following the prior stated rules and regs to the letter, through their purposely vague definitions of some criteria and ability to have changed some written minutiae between visits that there is almost no way to be aware of unless you work for them.

I also worked for the IRS briefly as a CSR during filing seasons, and I can fully confirm that requiring taxpayers to do their own return only results in confusion, mistakes and a shitload of paid government employees.

12. It’s all very complicated.

That would be a while lot easier, but we have a more complex and layered system I guess.
We pay federal income tax, many of us pay state income tax, property owners pay county property taxes, and some of us pay city payroll taxes. When we file, we get credits across some of those different jurisdictions for what we paid. Of course, that’s totally separate from the various excise and sales taxes paid on good or services.

We’ve also got a lot of industry pressure from companies that either hire accountants for tax time (like H&R Block), or that sell software for filing taxes. They are making money by keeping the system complex and inaccessible.

11. Like I said.

They don’t always know how much you owe. People with really simple taxes, a W-2 and a basic 1099-int, maybe. The gov. generally knows only your income, and then, not always.

They don’t know your deductions and trusting their bill would result in overpayment of taxes, especially if you are involved in any type business, have more complex investments, or use any deductions such as spending on childcare for example.

There are many deductions and credits that the gov’t does not track or know about unless you tell them via filing a tax return.

10. Ah, sweet summer children with deductions and refunds.

If the government knows how much I owe.

They know how much your employer reported to you.

THAT IS ALL.

​They have no idea what you’re going to claim.

​If you have “simple” taxes. one paycheck, one job. one house, no kids, etc… no, it doesn’t make “much sense”..

But once you get into anything more sophisticated, there are MANY reasons..

9. You might not like the result.

This already basically happens.

If you don’t file your tax return they will calculate it with their default values and bill you for it.

Since you don’t get any deductions its typically higher than if you filed. If they got rid of the late filing penalties and just sent you the bill then it would basically be what everyone is asking for.

8. No stepping on toes.

Because TurboTax lobbies to keep the tax system complicated and difficult.

The IRS is legally forbidden from using the information they already have to do your taxes for you, because that’d step on the profits of the tax-prep industry.

7. Some people ruin it for the rest of us.

This is also part of why taxes are so complicated. The more complicated, the more likely you’re going to use those tax services.

Also, some taxes codes are complicated because of thieves trying to find loopholes to not pay their fair share of taxes.

6. You don’t even know what a write-off is…

Your answer is write offs. If you track your spending in work related things, they are tax write offs to help you get money back. Any interest paid on a mortgage, vehicle milage for work excluding commute, home office supplies, work clothes, work meals, moving for work, all examples of tax write offs. Generally I have 12k-15k in write offs each year.

If they just sent me a bill or for some, their return, you wouldn’t get to include all your write offs.

All these people saying it’s a scam for H&R block or turbo tax are dead wrong. A vast majority of the country files taxes and uses write offs. Just because the ignorant few aren’t taking advantage of this system, does not make it some big conspiracy.

5. Of course it is.

I’m from Europe and that is how it’s done in every European country.

4. Ding ding ding.

I am an independent contractor, so there is no way at all the government knows how much I make, let alone my expenses.

They could make predictive calculations based on the industry, but there are probably only a few thousand of us in the US, and incomes vary quite a bit, so I would not like to see their guess.

3. That sounds heavenly.

Even in Greece, the bottom of the barrel, I login into the tax site, and it has already autocompleted everything. I can always do some tweaks if something has changed and slipped through the cracks

2. It’s a slippery slope.

Continue with that kind of thinking and you’ll be questioning why we don’t have a fair tax code that forces the highest earners to pay the highest percentage of their earnings in tax!

1. They need you to rat on yourself.

They don’t know how much you owe, they just have a vague idea.

They don’t know if you made income from an alternative source that didn’t show up on a W2 or 1099, and they don’t know what deductions and credits you plan to claim.

Man, I wish there was a way to avoid taxes.

Maybe someday I’ll be rich enough. Fingers crossed!

What do you think about this topic? Let us know in the comments!

The post People Talk About This Question: The IRS Knows What We Owe, So Why Don’t They Send Bills Instead of Making Us Do Taxes? appeared first on UberFacts.

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This Man Wonders How Many Days He Needs to Floss to Trick His Dentist Into Thinking It’s Been a Lifelong Habit

Flossing is something that some people do regularly, I hear – but just as often, it’s something people fudge to their dentist about how much they actually take the time.

This query was posted in Reddit’s No Stupid Question forum, and honestly, it’s information we’ve all probably wondered at some point in our lives.

Just how many days could we floss before an appointment and manage to convince our dentist we’ve been flossing every day forever?

Read on for some pretty enlightening responses!

13. Dentists think they’re so funny.

You can save time by only flossing the ones you want to keep.

12. Just a few weeks…maybe.

I started a few weeks ago after having never flossed consistently and my gums stopped bleeding after about a week of consistent flossing.

For cases of mild gingivitis this is the answer. Ultimately though, if you already have calculus(tartar), flossing will not remove it and your past sins will still visible. But if we see healthy pink tight gums, we are happy.

However, if you have periodontitis, flossing will most likely not be enough and we’re gonna have to go scrapey scrapey.

11. They’ll toughen up.

A lot. But it can help if you floss well and rinse with diluted hydrogen peroxide.

Do your gums bleed when you floss? If so, you probably already have plaque beneath the gum line.

Don’t let that keep you from going to the dentist. They can do a deep clean and you can start your flossing routine after that.

10. Spoken like a true dentist.

2 weeks of flossing can show a big difference.

The best day to start flossing is yesterday; the 2nd best day is today.

9. That’s one way to win…but not for your teeth to win.

The trick is you go to a different dentist for a cleaning before you go to your main cleaning.

8. No regrets? I’m in.

10 days give or take and you will see significant difference. Factors that come into play are when you have tarter build up or deep pockets in your gums. So for example, you get your teeth cleaned regularly 6 months like we recommend, so flossing about a week or so before will bring down inflammation because you probs don’t have significant tarter buildup.

If you haven’t visited the dentist in some time and there is significant tarter then your gums will most likely not bounce back until it’s removed. You’ll definitely see a difference maybe less pain or bleeding but the tarter will continue to irritate your gums until it’s removed.

Moral of the story: floss nightly, save money, save time, save teeth, you won’t regret it

7. No shame in the plaque game.

Dentist here.

If you’ve never flossed in your life, you likely won’t have good flossing technique anyway. You will likely have buildup then that can’t be removed by a couple weeks of flossing.

We aren’t judging you. Actually, some hygienists I know will roll their eyes at nice clean teeth and will fight for the patient with heavy buildup. There’s something so satisfying about removing calculus. Mmmm.

You’ve just got to remember that mouth stuff is ALL WE DO ALL DAY ERR DAY. Save the teeth embarrassment for your Mechanic or something. Not the dentist.

6. Some people are just lucky.

I hadn’t gone to the dentist in 5 years and recently got them cleaned.

My dentist told me I had really strong teeth genetically. Not entire sure what that meant but I did have tarter build up as I only brushed once in the morning.

Since going to the dentist though I have brushed twice a day and flossed too. I think I notice a difference in my gums but I’m not entirely sure yet.

It didn’t take too long to clean, 30 minutes to do my whole mouth.

5. Good habits are as hard to break as bad ones.

On a side note, I’ve been flossing everyday since going to the dentist 7 months ago and they were quite impressed with the improvement today when I went in for a cleaning.

I simply started flossing in the shower and it has been a habit for nearly 7 months now.

4. Not as long as you’d think.

I had not gone to a dentist in 10 years. Gums were bleeding every time I brushed.

Only had 4 very tiny cavities, and one significant one. They took care of one side of my mouth at a time, cleaned all the tarter pockets.

After about 7-10 days, my gums were no longer bleeding, even with flossing.

3. Dentists do get a bad rap.

Totally depends on the person. Some people are more susceptible to tooth and gum damage than others.

Honestly, dentists don’t care. The whole purpose of their job is to clean your teeth because you can’t. Your teeth are strong enough that if you take regular care of them and don’t eat stuff that eats away at them, you can go your entire life without a visit to the dentist.

Since most people don’t do that, dentists exist, and they’re happy to help.

2. Timing matters.

Yes of course. You won’t overdo flossing (unless your gum is already irritated don’t keep picking at it). Brush/floss nightly because it’s the most important time. Our mouths get dry at night and the soft plaque (white fuzzy stuff or grittiness on teeth) sticks and hardens creating tarter. This stuff sucks. It’s loaded with bacteria and causes significant damage if left prolonged.

Not to mention if you leave food or bacteria between your teeth each night it just cultivates and will basically go after your teeth for nutrients aka cavity. Same thing on the surface of your teeth. Floss whenever and however much but make sure to do it at night to disrupt the bacteria and destroy their homes. Fight the plaque before it fight back

1. Hahaha good one.

This reminds me of when I went to the dentist and he asked when did I floss last?

I was like “bro, you were there!”

So I’m going to have to do some firsthand research here.

Dentists, weigh in with your gleaming thoughts in the comments!

We want to hear from you!

The post This Man Wonders How Many Days He Needs to Floss to Trick His Dentist Into Thinking It’s Been a Lifelong Habit appeared first on UberFacts.