Category: no stupid question

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How Do You Take Selfies When You Feel Awkward About Them? People Share Their Feelings.

Selfies have become ubiquitous, and as someone who grew up in the 1980s and still kind of has a weird relationship with photographs of herself, I’ve gotta say, I don’t hate it. Confidence is beautiful, and being about to see a photo of yourself and not only smile, but want to share it, could never be a bad thing.

That said, it can still be hard for some people to get there – and this guy finds the whole process so awkward he can’t even snap one, never mind sharing them online.

Anybody else feel super cringey when taking selfies and therefore take none? from NoStupidQuestions

He wants to know if he’s not alone, so Reddit’s No Stupid Question forum is the place to be!

15. Is anyone looking?

I always try to hide that I’m doing it, if I do it at all haha.

I took a plant selfie not long ago. I turned beet red in the face when I asked my husband to help me take the photo. I even lashed out at him when he told me how cute that was because I didn’t like that he was “making it a thing”. When I was totally making it a thing….

14. Do it for your mom.

I feel too vain when I take selfies… then end up having like no pictures of myself for my mom.

I’ve had a few girlfriends now that have tried to help me shake my hate. Even after breaking up a few have recommended taking my mom out to different spots (she loved spending time with me more than anything).

When I asked to take pictures with her she was beaming… I’m tearing up just typing this… Actually I just ugly cried for a bit.

I need to tell my mom.

13. Being silly works every time.

The only way I have ever taken the very few selfies I have is if it’s a silly one. That way I feel like “haha see, I’m not taking myself seriously with this”. Feels like it aligns more with who I am.

Social media selfie posts are so prevalent that I was just wondering if there were other people who feel the way I do. Clone #1564 confirmed.

12. Yeah you do.

I am not photogenic so I have never taken a selfie in all of my many years on this earth until last year. I must have been bored or something because I put on makeup which I don’t usually do and took some selfies that included my dogs. I was pleasantly surprised how the photos turned out. I didn’t even really know how to take a selfie.

I posted the pics on Facebook and everyone complimented me on them. The people I have known since high school hadn’t seen me since high school so they really liked my photos. The friends I have made over the years and have never met in person liked my photos as well. In fact, when I said how old I am they couldn’t believe it.

One guy was like, “no way!!!” Yep. I guess I look pretty good for an old lady. Lol.

11. It does take practice.

Yes! I feel like I look awful in any picture, TBH. One eye squinted shut, weird pasted-on smile, awkward posture…like, every single time. Can’t seem to look natural or relaxed in a picture. So I figure if I’m gonna look bad, I may as well be obvious about it and look bad on purpose. I’m not exaggerating when I say that there are more pictures of me with goofy faces than “nice” faces.

Selfies are just…100x worse, for some reason. Take all those issues from above, and then make it look just plain bad. I don’t know why my (very few) selfies have turned out absolutely terrible, but that’s how it is. I’m sure I’m overly-critical of myself, but even putting that aside, I honestly cannot figure out how to get a selfie to turn out ok. So I just don’t do them, except in very rare cases.

10. Also, do it for your kids.

The only reason I can stomach the occasional picture is so my kids know what I looked like back in the day because my parents have hardly any pictures from their youth and It makes it harder to connect… if that makes sense.

9. This makes me sad.

All the time, I never see my pics and think, “hey I look good in this one.” So I assume other people see me the same way and I don’t care to have other people see my flawed face.

Same for me. I can’t stand to look at myself in pictures or videos. For video conferences/Teams meeting, I use my avatar.

But I’m ok with my face in the mirror when I wash up/comb my hair/brush my teeth.

Go figure.

8. Don’t worry about what people think.

You just gotta not care what other people think. I have this problem too.

If I’m feeling particularly confident and attractive, then yeah I kinda wanna post a selfie. Who cares if it’s for attention – it’s human nature to want to attract positive attention sometimes.

So who cares if someone thinks “omg Stacy just wants attention from her selfie” like yeah maybe Stacy is depressed and wants some positive attention who cares?

7. Other people really don’t think that much about you.

You need to realize people don’t care about your appearance. Life’s too short to be afraid of showing your face in social media. I used to be like you until I finally got the courage to use a real pic of me and found out people either will ignore you or type something nice but never will type something mean or rude.

And I am sure you are not ugly but just lack self confidence.

6. Come up with a reason.

I used to as well. But recently I started taking selfies to show off my weird graphic t shirt collection (fish with gun, raccoon with “eat trash hail Satan”, etc.) and honestly having a “reason” for the selfie makes me feel better.

I’m a dancer so most of my pics and videos of me are me dancing and I just want pictures of me doing other things. For myself and for my family.

5. It can depend on who your friends are.

It can also depend how normalized it is in your social circles and social environment. If people around you, your friends and family all did it on a regular basis you’d probably worry less.

I have a mixture of friends. Some take, some don’t.

4. Have a little confidence.

I think it speaks to our lack of ego.

The entire concept of selfies is so self indulgent, I think it’s so weird how often people stare at their own face. Like I couldn’t think of a less interesting picture to look at than one of just somebodies face. But people crave that validation from others so it stuck.

I wish people could be happy on their own.

3. But also, don’t judge others.

Love that for you but it doesn’t mean selfies are inherently bad or egotistical.

People hate themselves daily but when they finally feel good enough to appreciate their appearance, it’s wrong?

If you don’t wanna see selfies on your timeline then dont follow people who take selfies.

You shouldn’t need to invalidate how certain people choose to express their confidence in order to make yourself feel better.

That’s not a lack of ego, it’s just being a jerk.

2. If it makes you happy.

I used to feel that way but then I saw people doing “duck lips” and I tried and each time I ended up laughing , that ended up turning out to produce pictures of me happy and smiling and I started to enjoy seeing those moments.

I’m glad those trends have died, I couldn’t with those faces. Smiling is classic, can’t beat it.

1. OP is definitely not alone.

Me too. I also can’t film myself talking like everyone seems to do these days. I just feel cringy walking and talking to a phone.

Literally started photography because I hated being in photos. If people think you’re good at taking photos they won’t question it when you volunteer to take it instead of being in the photo.

I fall somewhere in the middle on this – sometimes getting a selfie I like feels impossible, but other times it’s fun to share.

If you also hate selfies, tell us how you get around those feelings (if you do) in the comments!

The post How Do You Take Selfies When You Feel Awkward About Them? People Share Their Feelings. appeared first on UberFacts.

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How Do You Take Selfies When You Feel Awkward About Them? People Share Their Feelings.

Selfies have become ubiquitous, and as someone who grew up in the 1980s and still kind of has a weird relationship with photographs of herself, I’ve gotta say, I don’t hate it. Confidence is beautiful, and being about to see a photo of yourself and not only smile, but want to share it, could never be a bad thing.

That said, it can still be hard for some people to get there – and this guy finds the whole process so awkward he can’t even snap one, never mind sharing them online.

Anybody else feel super cringey when taking selfies and therefore take none? from NoStupidQuestions

He wants to know if he’s not alone, so Reddit’s No Stupid Question forum is the place to be!

15. Is anyone looking?

I always try to hide that I’m doing it, if I do it at all haha.

I took a plant selfie not long ago. I turned beet red in the face when I asked my husband to help me take the photo. I even lashed out at him when he told me how cute that was because I didn’t like that he was “making it a thing”. When I was totally making it a thing….

14. Do it for your mom.

I feel too vain when I take selfies… then end up having like no pictures of myself for my mom.

I’ve had a few girlfriends now that have tried to help me shake my hate. Even after breaking up a few have recommended taking my mom out to different spots (she loved spending time with me more than anything).

When I asked to take pictures with her she was beaming… I’m tearing up just typing this… Actually I just ugly cried for a bit.

I need to tell my mom.

13. Being silly works every time.

The only way I have ever taken the very few selfies I have is if it’s a silly one. That way I feel like “haha see, I’m not taking myself seriously with this”. Feels like it aligns more with who I am.

Social media selfie posts are so prevalent that I was just wondering if there were other people who feel the way I do. Clone #1564 confirmed.

12. Yeah you do.

I am not photogenic so I have never taken a selfie in all of my many years on this earth until last year. I must have been bored or something because I put on makeup which I don’t usually do and took some selfies that included my dogs. I was pleasantly surprised how the photos turned out. I didn’t even really know how to take a selfie.

I posted the pics on Facebook and everyone complimented me on them. The people I have known since high school hadn’t seen me since high school so they really liked my photos. The friends I have made over the years and have never met in person liked my photos as well. In fact, when I said how old I am they couldn’t believe it.

One guy was like, “no way!!!” Yep. I guess I look pretty good for an old lady. Lol.

11. It does take practice.

Yes! I feel like I look awful in any picture, TBH. One eye squinted shut, weird pasted-on smile, awkward posture…like, every single time. Can’t seem to look natural or relaxed in a picture. So I figure if I’m gonna look bad, I may as well be obvious about it and look bad on purpose. I’m not exaggerating when I say that there are more pictures of me with goofy faces than “nice” faces.

Selfies are just…100x worse, for some reason. Take all those issues from above, and then make it look just plain bad. I don’t know why my (very few) selfies have turned out absolutely terrible, but that’s how it is. I’m sure I’m overly-critical of myself, but even putting that aside, I honestly cannot figure out how to get a selfie to turn out ok. So I just don’t do them, except in very rare cases.

10. Also, do it for your kids.

The only reason I can stomach the occasional picture is so my kids know what I looked like back in the day because my parents have hardly any pictures from their youth and It makes it harder to connect… if that makes sense.

9. This makes me sad.

All the time, I never see my pics and think, “hey I look good in this one.” So I assume other people see me the same way and I don’t care to have other people see my flawed face.

Same for me. I can’t stand to look at myself in pictures or videos. For video conferences/Teams meeting, I use my avatar.

But I’m ok with my face in the mirror when I wash up/comb my hair/brush my teeth.

Go figure.

8. Don’t worry about what people think.

You just gotta not care what other people think. I have this problem too.

If I’m feeling particularly confident and attractive, then yeah I kinda wanna post a selfie. Who cares if it’s for attention – it’s human nature to want to attract positive attention sometimes.

So who cares if someone thinks “omg Stacy just wants attention from her selfie” like yeah maybe Stacy is depressed and wants some positive attention who cares?

7. Other people really don’t think that much about you.

You need to realize people don’t care about your appearance. Life’s too short to be afraid of showing your face in social media. I used to be like you until I finally got the courage to use a real pic of me and found out people either will ignore you or type something nice but never will type something mean or rude.

And I am sure you are not ugly but just lack self confidence.

6. Come up with a reason.

I used to as well. But recently I started taking selfies to show off my weird graphic t shirt collection (fish with gun, raccoon with “eat trash hail Satan”, etc.) and honestly having a “reason” for the selfie makes me feel better.

I’m a dancer so most of my pics and videos of me are me dancing and I just want pictures of me doing other things. For myself and for my family.

5. It can depend on who your friends are.

It can also depend how normalized it is in your social circles and social environment. If people around you, your friends and family all did it on a regular basis you’d probably worry less.

I have a mixture of friends. Some take, some don’t.

4. Have a little confidence.

I think it speaks to our lack of ego.

The entire concept of selfies is so self indulgent, I think it’s so weird how often people stare at their own face. Like I couldn’t think of a less interesting picture to look at than one of just somebodies face. But people crave that validation from others so it stuck.

I wish people could be happy on their own.

3. But also, don’t judge others.

Love that for you but it doesn’t mean selfies are inherently bad or egotistical.

People hate themselves daily but when they finally feel good enough to appreciate their appearance, it’s wrong?

If you don’t wanna see selfies on your timeline then dont follow people who take selfies.

You shouldn’t need to invalidate how certain people choose to express their confidence in order to make yourself feel better.

That’s not a lack of ego, it’s just being a jerk.

2. If it makes you happy.

I used to feel that way but then I saw people doing “duck lips” and I tried and each time I ended up laughing , that ended up turning out to produce pictures of me happy and smiling and I started to enjoy seeing those moments.

I’m glad those trends have died, I couldn’t with those faces. Smiling is classic, can’t beat it.

1. OP is definitely not alone.

Me too. I also can’t film myself talking like everyone seems to do these days. I just feel cringy walking and talking to a phone.

Literally started photography because I hated being in photos. If people think you’re good at taking photos they won’t question it when you volunteer to take it instead of being in the photo.

I fall somewhere in the middle on this – sometimes getting a selfie I like feels impossible, but other times it’s fun to share.

If you also hate selfies, tell us how you get around those feelings (if you do) in the comments!

The post How Do You Take Selfies When You Feel Awkward About Them? People Share Their Feelings. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Why Do Certain Smells Like Onion and Garlic Stay on Your Hands After You Wash Them?

If you’ve done any cooking in your life, then you’ve probably noticed that certain foods you prep…linger. The smell of onion and garlic, for example, can be scented days after you’ve made the meal, after you’ve washed your hands multiple times and even showered – but why?

This is the perfect query for Reddit’s No Stupid Question forum, and I don’t know about you, but I’m super pumped that someone actually asked it.

How do certain smells like onions stay on your fingers for so long, even after you wash your hands repeatedly? from NoStupidQuestions

Let’s hear what these 11 Redditors said in response then, hmm?

11. The technical answer.

When cut open, onion cells release enzymes which convert its amino acid sulfoxides into sulfenic acid, the effects of which can be felt immediately.

That same chemical adheres to skin and stays there, sometimes for days, until something neutralizes the acid. Soap typically won’t do the trick.

10. Using stainless steel can help take it away.

The sulfur from the onion, garlic or fish is attracted to—and binds with—one or more of the metals in stainless steel. Formation of such compounds is what makes stainless steel stainless. Onions and garlic contain amino acid sulfoxides, which form sulfenic acids, which then form a volatile gas—propanethial S-oxide—that forms sulfuric acid upon exposure to water. These compounds are responsible for burning your eyes while cutting onions, and also for their characteristic scent. The sulfur compounds bind to the steel—efficiently removing the odor from your fingers.

So, next time you find your fingers and hands smelling from fish, onions or garlic, don’t reach for the scented spray; grab a stainless steel knife. Take care, though, to wipe your hands on the flat side, and your limbs will be scentless in no time.

9.  This smell isn’t so bad, though.

Oranges too; gets in the creases of your hands.

8. Get yourself some stainless steel.

So because the smells are caused by sulfur, it turns into sulfuric acid when you wash your hands with water. So the stainless steel basically binds to the sulfur molecules and thus, “washes” away the smell on your hands.

I got a stainless steel soap from the dollar store and they had this explanation on the back of the packaging in terms of the smells being negatively charged ions and the stainless steel being positively charged, so basically positive attracts negative and zoop, your smell goes away.

But I was terrible at Chemistry and last I studied that shit was in 2014, so I don’t know if this ion business is legit. The first paragraph is the actual explanation for sure, though.

7. Because sticky molecules.

Same reasons why some stains are difficult to remove while others aren’t.

The adhesive force between your hand and the particles are strong and possibly stronger than the cohesive force between the particles.

Basically some molecules are sticky.

6. It can happen to your kitchen, too.

If your kitchen smells funky and it’s not the trash or the fridge, give every stainless steel appliance a rub down with salt mixed with baking soda (as long as it’s not a pan), then rinse with warm water. The smells should go away.

Typically kitchens retain scents for reasons I don’t know but this pretty much always works and in the worst case scenario you’ve cleaned the kitchen a little more than you needed to.

5. Moisten. Ugh.

They don’t if you keep some baking soda next to the sink.

Moisten your fingers and rub them with the baking soda after working with onions or garlic and poof, smell gone.

4. The tricks might not work, though.

Most likely not. Sulfenic acids bond covalently to the proteins in your skin, causing them to be released slowly. There isn’t much you can do about that except wait. The chemicals you’d need to reverse that aren’t generally available to consumers/are too harsh to put on your skin.

Interestingly, a lot of lachrymators (compounds that make you tear up) work this way, including some types of tear gas. Generally, highly reactive compounds are dangerous, so your body reacts strongly and tries to get them out of your eyes as soon as possible. Onions exploit this reaction to try (unsuccessfully) to get you to not eat them.

3. Soap doesn’t solve everything.

I see a lot of responses on how to get rid of the smell but not so much on why it lingers.

The reason it lingers is because soap is a surfactant that can remove some things, but it doesn’t work as a solvent for everything.

It’s why lemon juice or baking soda work for cleaning: acids and bases will dissolve some things.

Various foods will and will not dissolve in various solvents.

2. Props, indeed.

Jesus !! I never thought there was an actual answer to that question, I’ve always thought that’s just how things work, and have accepted it cause that’s how the things work

Props to the guy who asked the question, and the person who understands the answer to that should give it a shot and try to apply to SpaceX.

1. I need the answer to this one next.

Diesel is the one that gets me.

What’s the neutralizing yin to that yang on my hands?

If you didn’t know, now you know. Pumped!

Are these answers correct? If you need to fix some details, our comments are open!

The post Why Do Certain Smells Like Onion and Garlic Stay on Your Hands After You Wash Them? appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Discuss Whether or Not They Would Watch a TV Show Where Rich People Live on $15/Hr

There are all kinds of reality television shows out there. There’s something for everyone, and most of us have at least one guilty pleasure.

Why not, then, have a show where rich people tried to live on what’s being proposed as a minimum wage? It’s bound to be funny, and you never know – they might learn something.

Would you watch a TV show where rich people have to live on $15/hr? from NoStupidQuestions

These 17 people are weighing in on whether or not they would watch!

17. Can they find their own bootstraps?

What about a show where rich people started off homeless and race to earn a roof over their head. Have to compete in mental illness and socioeconomic obstacle challenges?

16. So they DO learn lessons?!

There is already a program like this on BBC. I can’t remember what it’s called. But it takes families who are wealthy and ones living in poverty and switch them. It’s very entertaining, but not like “ha ha” or outrageous like US reality programs. It’s actually more real reality.

Most of the time the rich family admits that they really had no idea how hard it was to live like that, and often they offer to help get the poverty family a better job and stuff. One even funded the startup costs for the husband in the poverty family to start his own business, and that made a huge difference in their life.

15. A few people made this suggestion.

Nah $15/hr is too generous. Make it $7.25 and I wouldn’t miss an episode.

14. They can never really know what it’s like.

This might backfire. It’s like the song “Common People”. They have no real risk because they can go back. Part of poverty is the constant anxiety that if something goes wrong (the refrigerator breaks, the car crashes, you lose your apartment, you need a minor but expensive surgery) it is disastrous.

They wouldn’t have that. They would still think in the end “well they can just change to a different better job” or “they should just go to college”.

13. But no overtime pay, friend.

I would watch but let’s throw in closing and opening shifts back to back as well as mandatory overtime.

12. It’s not funny because it’s true.

I’d rather watch a show where rich people got to live on $7.25.

Sometimes they can even make them be a single parent. With no maternity leave or healthcare. And no affordable daycare in sight. With no family around to help. Boy those were the days…. not. I guess I should have pulled myself up by my bootstraps but unfortunately the straps broke and I couldn’t afford to replace them.

11. And it’s not fun.

This was asked countless, countless times and the real answer is no, it would be way too artificial, because they do it for fun. They can be more risky, they can cheat, but even if they dont, they dont have that pressure of knowing that if it goes wrong they still have to live the rest of their lifes… is just a show and after its done, they still have their money.

Its the same way as when you do tourism…. its entitled and ignorant af to claim you know how living in the country is, because you dont ,even if you do the same stuff

10. They still have a way out.

I would totally watch it, but it’s kinda like The Last Temptation of Christ… I mean, they know they’re going back to their real life, so the true despair that those who live in poverty will never set it.

It’s a whole different thing when you know you have a way out

9. Maybe they could do it this way…

What if they don’t get a way out?

If they can’t get to the end of the week without skipping meals/skipping bills/postponing a repair or medical appointment/you get the idea, they have to keep playing until they do or quit. And if they quit, they have to forfeit one of their homes to the poor family.

You’ll never erase their perfect comfort in this world but we can make them pay for it, at least.

8. Eat the rich.

Not in the slightest. I’m not interesting in watching rich people throw us an entertainment bone only to go back to being mega-rich once it’s over.

Not to mention the fact that they’ll likely just make more money from being on the show and continue to not give a f*ck about people on the bottom.

I don’t want to be a part of giving those people any more money or good press.

7. Maybe six months.

Not unless it was for a full month or more. If they aren’t paying rent, buying all their own food or going to food banks, riding the bus or driving a completely busted PoS that needs mechanic work they can’t afford, and ditching everything else they own in order to genuinely experience poverty for at least a month, then it’s a worthless stunt designed to gain them PR points, and I would refuse to acknowledge it in any way.

6. Because everything is a competition in America.

If you could somehow make it competitive, we could call it Wage War. Who has the best life at $15/hour? And it can be an entertaining PSA that will help us continue to change opinions on a livable wage.

5. That’s how reality shows work.

People working for the show will intentionally let rude/asshole customers in and the supervisor will be an asshole (to make the experience realistic).
Everything will be manipulated so, uh, it’ll be realistic?

How about just reading Nickel and Dimed? Or watching the first 30 Days episode, or anything better than shitty “reality” shows?

4. It’s like a game you can’t win.

Would be better if they weren’t guaranteed hours and go from having a 40 hour week to a 12 hour week to a 8 hour week to a 30 hour week.

All at different times during the day too so they can’t get a 2nd job.

3. Maybe it would fly.

I watched Undercover Boss and laughed my guts out at how clueless they were, so yeah, this show sounds like a winner.

2. No one can survive…the customers.

Why “simulated”? Let ’em work an ACTUAL minimum wage job. ($8.55/hr here in Ohio) Make sure it’s customer-facing and that there are plenty of local, feral Karens in the indigenous population.

Hells yeah I’d watch it. I’d binge watch the entire season in a day.

1. Ridiculous is one word for it.

Hasn’t this already been done with Paris Hilton in the 90’s? I remember her saying that she thought people that worked fast food just did it for fun and didn’t know it was their actual job.

It was ridiculous and I’m sure a show like that would piss me off.

I think I would check it out.

Would you tune in? Tell us why or why not in the comments!

The post People Discuss Whether or Not They Would Watch a TV Show Where Rich People Live on $15/Hr appeared first on UberFacts.

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Check Out People’s Thoughts on Why the Body Positive Movement Is More Focused on Weight Than Physical Deformities

For a lot of folks, the body positive movement has been a godsend.

For too long, society in general – and some professions, like the medical field, specifically – have made it really, really hard to be happy living as someone perceived as being “overweight.”

This questioner wants to know why we’re more focused on making fat people feel accepted and beautiful than we are on making people with scars, amputated limbs, or other deformities feel the same way.

Why is body positivity focused on fat people instead of amputees and people with scars? from NoStupidQuestions

These 14 people are going to give them a talking to, so let’s just hear what they have to say.

Let’s take a look!

14. There’s a bigger picture here.

I think something people tend to miss with any movement geared towards uplifting groups in a minority or underrepresented category (whether that’s a racial, gendered, sexual, size etc) is seeing the larger societal issues why that is necessary to begin with and therefore make a bunch of false equivalence or try to in some way invalidate the necessity of these things based on actions of some people.

Clearly, telling people go eat a sandwich or disparaging thinner people isn’t okay at all and no true body positive people who genuinely understand and dedicate themselves to this work in a socially conscious and informed way would do this. But also, the point is no matter how many times certain people tell a skinny person to eat a sandwich, even if that person feels badly about it, the images, the representation, the idea that thin is desirable, etc are still the dominant images in our society and on a whole society rewards thinness.

Which is the key issue people should realize. Is that movements like this are pointing out what society has promoted as desirable and the norm in its images and representation and messages we all get over and over and over that tells us who are the normal, acceptable, good, beautiful, smart people. Movements are trying to shift these ideas and diversify them and people tend to not think about it on such a macro scale. A fat person can hurt a skinny person’s feelings potentially, however, it is still going to be true that in everyday life, as you watch tv, as you scroll Reddit, everything you do, thin will still be reflected back to you in most of your media and interactions and societal beliefs and practices as what’s beautiful and desirable.

13. It’s meant to be for everyone.

Originally the body positivity movement was mostly for the anatomical differences not relating to weight: face deformities, amputees, scars, stretch marks etc. But then the movement expanded to things such as height and weight as we became more open-minded as a community.

Regarding overweight people, it was sort of hijacked, whether you were overweight or underweight it was about accepting who you are, as an individual not as a collective to help with body dysmorphia and that just because your body isn’t model-material you are still worth it.

That isn’t to say they are healthy or unhealthy, it’s just about being comfortable. It wasn’t about promoting “this is what everyone should look like” which is what you’re referring to via “obesity is healthy” it is about saying I like how I look, that’s it. Just a small minority has taken the movement too far.

12. Because it applies to so many of us.

I would also add that just in general like 60% of the population is overweight or obese in America while there aren’t anywhere near as many amputees, scar victims etc.

Not saying it’s right but it’s sorta not surprising to me that group is the loudest in the community given there is probably millions more people who identify with it through that lens.

11. Everyone should love themselves.

I’m personally a big fan of the body neutrality movement. It completely takes away the hyper focus on one’s body and is more about accepting yourself and others as is and then moving on.

It’s not as extreme but you still feel good in your own skin.

10. Wouldn’t that be nice.

Yeah, I believe the real message is/should be “If you are fat, you are still worthy of kindness and respect as a human being, but it’s not healthy”.

9. Not everyone is beautiful.

I think it’s much better because body “positivity” can feel so forced sometimes and ultimately is still very appearance based.

Trying to shove this idea that “everyone is cute/beautiful/attractive” I think is actually pretty shitty, because #1. attractiveness may be subjective and beauty standards may change, but if the majority of people do not find someone attractive, insisting that they are anyway is just weird and obviously an attempt to make them feel better, it’s not the truth. And #2. being attractive shouldn’t be as important to our self-worth as it is.

There are so many other qualities that are more important that attractiveness that should come first, intelligence, kindness, perseverance, diligence, empathy, talent, sense of humor, and so on…it goes for everyone, but women especially need to be valued for so many other things before their attractiveness, because then when some of them aren’t attractive, it should not be this horrible, destructive, ultimate insult.

Body neutrality acknowledges all of that, body positivity ignores it and is basically condescension.

8. It’s that simple.

This is the entire essence of body positivity. I have no idea how it happened, but suddenly everyone thinks that it’s about fat people forcing thin people to find them beautiful and attractive.

But no, it’s literally about not being a d*ck to someone just because they’re either underweight or overweight. That’s it.

7. It’s also about a person’s appearance not qualifying their existence.

Just heading this by saying that I do think the fat acceptance movement can, occasionally promote unhealthy behaviours, or not be exactly receptive to criticism. I don’t approve of 100% of the things ‘those people’ do.

But there’s also the very good point that prejudice against overweight people is sort of shitty because there is an assumption against a person’s character or worth based on their weight.

Overweight people are considered to be lazy, unmotivated, even stupid sometimes – because there is an assumption that, because someone can’t manage their diet, there must be some moral failing.

Ultimately, however, there can be dozens of reasons for being overweight. Plenty of these reasons might be within someone’s control on a technical level, but addiction to food is real, especially when we live in societies that make healthy eating difficult and sugary foods plentiful. Eating disorders exist in the other direction, too.

It can also simply be that a person’s life doesn’t assist them. Their metabolism is slow and they work a sedentary desk job with a full family to look after. We all have points of health that we don’t prioritize for other things. That’s normal in an extremely busy society built around the morality of productivity.

Obesity can be co-morbid with other conditions. Fun fact: Someone with ADHD is roughly four times likely to be obese, because in some cases, their brain is so under stimulated that they go and snack/eat on an almost subconscious level. Depression is another big, obvious one.

Very few reasons for being overweight are just “this person is a bad human being”, and the movement is right to point that out. As such, shaming people who are overweight like they have morally failed or that they’re “just lazy” is inaccurate. People are often overweight because there are other facets of their lives that factor into it, be they genetic, societal, mental, etc.

Basically: being obese is not good for you, but it doesn’t make you a bad person, undeserving of love, unable to feel attractive, and lazy, and they’re right to point this out.

Otherwise the obese = healthy argument falls flat.

6. You can eat.

Original body positivity was largely centered around a reaction to Heroin Chic.

There was basically an anorexia epidemic in the early 90’s, and every model or actress you saw was like a coat rack. Every magazine for girls or young women was full of images of impossibly thin girls, and diet tips on how to get even skinnier.

It became so that many girls, and some boys, couldn’t see themselves as human beings, and there was a big movement to say no, actually it’s ok to be a normal weight. You can eat.

And then that became the message that fat activists stole.

It was all originally started with heroin chic

5. Health, mental and physical, is the goal.

I think all of this is a primary reason why some people have stopped talking about body positivity per se, and gone to the “heath at every size” approach, where it’s not even so much about any body type as it is about engaging in healthy behavior no matter what our size is, which I think is not a bad approach because it gets around the idea that my thin/young friends can eat empty calorie fast food all the time but it’s not a problem because they’re thin.

4. It’s about respect.

Body positivity was never supposed to be “everyone is equally beautiful, and if you’re not attracted to an overweight person you’re fatphobic” (a claim that’s so subjective and hard to convince everyone of).

The original point was “despite what anyone’s outward appearance or health is, everyone deserves to be treated and respected as a human being, and you are allowed to demand people treat you like a human despite your body”.

The thing that’s so frustrating about the shift is that now it’s just a argument of “they look like a supermodel!” “No they’re a whale!” Which takes focus away from the much more important fact that the person in question is in no way devalued as a person because of their weight.

3. How about we just don’t talk about people’s weight.

The way you take these comments kind of depends on on your background.

I, for example, was teased a lot by my family growing up for being so skinny/wimpy. My dad and brothers would make fun of my biceps by calling them “mouse stomachs” and my sister would recite a jingle from a popular movie that goes “chamber of bones nr. 1” whenever my twigs for limbs would be exposed. They obviously didn’t mean anything by it, but in the mind of a child that means skinny=bad.

Therefore, even to this day, whenever someone says “you’re really skinny”, I can not take that as a compliment, even though it might have been intended as one (for example, once it was followed by “like a model”, which would indicate a positive intent behind the comment).

I imagine this being even more so the case for men.

2. It could just be the numbers.

Also, there are way more fat people than there are people with deformities. Their voices have the power to drown anyone else out on social media as a consequence.

This isn’t on purpose, but more people post and more people empathize with people who are fat because they are the majority.

1. Seriously, just stop.

The way you take these comments kind of depends on on your background.

I, for example, was teased a lot by my family growing up for being so skinny/wimpy. My dad and brothers would make fun of my biceps by calling them “mouse stomachs” and my sister would recite a jingle from a popular movie that goes “chamber of bones nr. 1” whenever my twigs for limbs would be exposed. They obviously didn’t mean anything by it, but in the mind of a child that means skinny=bad.

Therefore, even to this day, whenever someone says “you’re really skinny”, I can not take that as a compliment, even though it might have been intended as one (for example, once it was followed by “like a model”, which would indicate a positive intent behind the comment).

I imagine this being even more so the case for men.

Why not make, I don’t know, everyone feel good about themselves, hmm?

What’s your take? Drop it in the comments!

The post Check Out People’s Thoughts on Why the Body Positive Movement Is More Focused on Weight Than Physical Deformities appeared first on UberFacts.

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Man Asks if It’s Immature to Entertain Childhood Fantasies as an Adult

Most of us know that we have to grow up at some point – it’s just part of the package deal of being human.

You get to be a kid for a little while, with other people taking care of you and buying you things and making your dinner every night while you do whatever, and then, you have to do all of that stuff for yourself (and kids of your own, if you so choose).

That said, you don’t necessarily have to leave all the vestiges of youth behind. There are ways to bring your childhood on through, to still get enjoyment out of the whimsy and daydreams – if you do it wisely.

Am I immature to still think about my childhood fantasies ? from NoStupidQuestions

This guy wonders whether or not his continuing to indulge his childhood fantasies means he’s somehow stunted, and these 16 people weigh in.

15. Creativity should be valued.

I think some of the issue is that creativity is made to feel wrong and cheap, think about it. When you go to school if you’re not good at Maths you’re not allowed in the Maths Team but the geeky kids are allowed to be in the school play because “everyone should have a go” people who are rubbish at art are lauded but those who are good are regarded as “nothing special” because again “everyone can draw” we also get this message from X factor and The voice, well anyone can get up and sing, you don’t have to work for it.

Creative jobs don’t pay very well and if you say you’re an artist or a writer or musician unless your work is well known people don’t take you seriously but creative people create, it’s just what we do! It’s as natural as maths to an accountant or the periodic table to a scientist.

So when our minds wander and we start being creative which is natural to us, it looks like daydreaming to others and it’s discouraged and when we share those thoughts we are laughed at and made to feel stupid so we do it alone and in private where others can’t see but there’s nothing wrong with it, we need that outlet, it’s healthy. Keep creating friend. 🙂

14. We need to reshape who is allowed to be “creative.”

Your post is nice and supportive of many but I’d like to dispute this notion that creativity belongs to the arts.

Many scientific, engineering and mathematical solutions are creative in their nature too. Many people working in these fields are just as much a “creative” as any musician or artist.

13. Creativity is a healthy outlet.

It’s not childish. It’s creative.

Have you tried writing stories or playing Dungeons & Dragons?

12. Daydreaming allowed.

I still have stories and characters floating around in my head that were there since high school ( im almost 40 now ), and sometimes it’s fun to just go for a walk and make movies in my head. Walking, thinking, sometimes humming soundtracks are all things I’ve done since I was young.

It should be no surprise that as an adult, I do creative work for a living and I’m pretty good at it. I went from imagining the things to making the things.

As I’ve gotten older though, I’ve found these kinds of daydreams can be unproductive, and can sometimes contribute to perfectionism or overthinking ideas. I can sometimes overly fixate on an idea because it feels good to think about, even though there are plenty of other valid solutions and paths to take which can often times be better than the thing I’m holding on to.

The only big change now as an older adult is that I put rules about what I can daydream about. I tend to not daydream or fantasize about projects I’m actually doing, especially the outcomes. I also avoid anything that has to do with me personally as that can negatively impact my mental health.

It really helped my creative work to free myself of the need to document or use my daydreaming productively. Now it’s something I just do for me, for fun. It’s like exercising for your mind to render all this stuff in your head. I’ll probably always be this way until the end of my days.

11. New things to try.

I was writing story only when I was a kid, but I have never done in my adulthood, and unfortunately I’ve never played D&D.

10. That’s how you know it’s a good story.

It’s always when I’m going to sleep as well!

Sometimes it backfires though and I stay awake longer because exciting things happen…

9. Sounds like a good use of time to me.

I used to pretend I was a captain of a merchant ship when I was younger, and I’d write a captain’s log by candlelight in my bedroom.

I had an entire world map that I imagined and drew, myself, on the front page of my journal. Full with cities with imagined names, and different ports.

I even had an old PC game where you had to sail to different ports and trade, and you could out the game disc in a CD player to play the soundtrack from the game.

8. Just one more reason to love going to sleep.

Me too!

I actually look forward to going to sleep because I love creating worlds and stories in my head before sleep and I can’t do it during the day.

7. Fantasy worlds aren’t childish.

Every good story has to start with some fantasizing!

Being an adult doesn’t mean you can’t continue, it just means you have more freedom to pursue it. Lord of the Rings, A Song of Ice and Fire, Witcher, and lots more huge fantasy worlds were thought up of and worked on by adults like yourself.

You should keep writing! 🙂

6. I want to know more, too!

I find it fascinating. Would love to know how these worlds changed/evolved over the years (as your maturity level and understanding of things changed). It’s too bad we don’t have a “third eye” that is actually a projector to project our ideas/memories.

And I don’t think that means you’re immature at all. I’ve actually read numerous studies that show that this ability to imagine/create/fantasize usually diminishes by the age of 16. Researchers found their only conclusion was our society causes us to stop imagining from fear of still acting like a child, as is your worry.

But…if we kept this ability past the age of 16 we would see Alzheimer’s and dementia rates reduce drastically. I wish I kept a link to the story, but I don’t think it’s childish at all. You’re keeping your mind fresh.

5. Make sure you write it down.

Sit down and just write something. Don’t worry about it being perfect. The important part is that you write. It can be hard to start, but if you just put your fingers on the keys and move them around a bit, just writing any old thing, you’ll get going.

Don’t edit on the fly. Just shit out whatever you’ve got, and when you’re done, then edit.

Write whatever stories come to you easiest first. Don’t worry about big narratives or anything. You don’t even have to start at the beginning; you can just start anywhere and plug that chunk in somewhere else at a later time.

Volume is what’s important at first. That’s the chunk of wood you’re gonna practice on and whittle down into something usable.

Another thing you could do is to get into oral-tradition storytelling, and whenever any kids are around, you tell em one of your stories. They like that.

Or just enjoy thinking about em at night. No harm in that.

4. I’m fascinated by these people’s brains!

I’ve had bedtime fantasies ever since I was small. I don’t make up my own worlds though, I insert my self into what ever fantasy world I happen to be into at the moment by shaping the story round me. Over time I’ve become better at this; before I use to just drop in my avatar in the interesting bits with no background and the other characters would just roll with it. But now my stories have gotten more sophisticated and I find a way to organically introduce my avatar into the story and take part in all the fun. I live in a very rural area and don’t have any day to day friends so my imagination is very active. I want to be friends with these characters in these story’s and this how I do it.

So I design a avatar, with a nice complicated back story. This person evolves over time to fit the each new story. She is usually around sixteen, long hair some times natural colors, sometimes not, shares my general personality. She is always some kind of fighter (wish I was), maybe trained to be an assassin. Parents are always out of the picture, either dead or have no factor in the story at all. I want to separate it from my real life as much as possible, so no parents, (also because parents are a limitation) no younger sister, and a different name and at least a slightly different look.

I am crazy about fantasy so she she is usually a magical being of some kind, winged elves are a favorite. It gets very complicated and I have to make up histories and explanations to fit is it in and smooth it over and it’s time consuming. But I think it is good practice for if I ever want to write a story (probably not). It’s so much fun and I can just sit in a chair day dreaming until mum tells at me to stop saying vacant at the floor. I hope I never stop.

3. Childish and immature aren’t necessarily the same thing.

Oh it is absolutely childish… but that’s a thing to be proud of!

It’s not immature.

Man, “childish” has a very bad meaning among people just because children are often “not good enough”. Sadly, this is the only word that some people will find meaningful, since “immature” sounds too grown up to be a serious offense.

2. That’s a take.

People who do this are real players. People who just fall asleep without thinking about anything or claim to have no internal monologue are NPC’s and are just there to flesh out the simulation.

Think of them as advanced AI.

1. Just a mind exercise.

Oh gods it’s so lovely to know I’m not alone!

That’s how I get to sleep. I don’t know how people just close their eyes and drift off into slumber.

You might not be able to go back to being a kid, but you can keep dreaming. It’s preferable even.

At least, that’s what I think – weigh in with your own comments down below!

The post Man Asks if It’s Immature to Entertain Childhood Fantasies as an Adult appeared first on UberFacts.

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“How Can Rich People Go Bankrupt and Still Get Loans, but Average People Get Blacklisted for Years?” People Answer.

If it seems like there are two sets of rules in this world – one for the haves and one for everyone else, well, you’re not alone.

One of the places we see this discrepancy is when we lose everything, and are forced to file bankruptcy.

How is it that a rich person can go bankrupt multiple times and still receive loans and start new companies but if the average person declares bankruptcies they’re basically blacklisted for years and their credit is ruined? from NoStupidQuestions

A regular person is looking at 7-13 years of rebuilding their financial life.

A rich person is looking for a loan that will get them through to their next huge embarrassing failure.

If you’ve ever wondered why, this thread is for you!

17. They’re rich for a reason.

It’s all in how s/he organizes their business. A corporation is fully separate from the owner (shareholder), and in court and for tax purposes, they are treated like a separate person, which is why you file a corporate tax return.

In other words, a corporation can go bankrupt, but that will have little bearing on the owner (shareholder). Corporations have the privilege of being able to file for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy which simply allows the corporation to reorganize the company, whereas individuals can only file Chapter 7 (liquidate all your assets to discharge all your debts) or Chapter 13 (3 to 5 year repayment plan that discharges your debts). Both have a negative impact on an individual’s credit score.

In other words, rich people are rich because they know tax and business law better and take full advantage.

16. They’re protected.

The person didn’t declare bankruptcy, the corporation that the person owned declared bankruptcy.

This prevents the majority of the negative effects of bankruptcy from affecting the owner.

15. PR spin can do a lot.

There are vanishingly few chapter 11s that aren’t the result of some form of major failure or another. People put a lot of spin on what a filing really means for PR purposes, but believe me, a company does not undertake the incredibly expensive, painful, and laborious step of actually filing unless catastrophe is imminent or has already occurred.

The end result in the vast majority of these cases is that the owners (shareholders) are wiped out. Either a bankruptcy sale will happen, the proceeds of which run out in the middle of the capital stack long before reaching the shareholders, or some class of creditors will receive all of the equity in the reorganized debtor as partial satisfaction of the debt.

It’s true that chapter 11 rarely means the end of the business, but almost always, someone is getting megaf**ked in a chapter 11; the shareholders, then the unsecured creditors, in that order.

14. The system is rigged.

Yes this. But there is also something in the credit scoring algorithms that puts people into different buckets. For example, when I worked in real estate had 2 applicants for a place with the same low credit score of around 600.

One was 20 years old, really had no significant debt and defaulted on like a $60 dollar credit card bill out of probably pure negligence (her mom would be cosigning for the place)

The other guy bought and flipped properties, fell under water (this was around 2009) and defaulted on over $1m in loans. Same credit score.

13. Straight predatory.

I would actually say it’s not true that bankruptcy gets you blacklisted quite the contrary because your debt gets locked in for 7 years because you can’t file again for 7 years.

A lot of times a few months after someone files they get a lot of offers from credit card companies

12. There should be space for details.

This is something that’s frustrated me my whole life.

My credit isn’t good. But I messed it up keeping a roof over my head in college and beyond.

But my score gets looked at the same as some kid who signed up for credit cards and blew all the money on booze and trips and clothes.

Mine was spent on cheap rent and utilities and healthcare. I’m working my a$s off to fix it, and I will, I just wish there were more to it.

11. We don’t use the same applications.

Well, a lot of financing that rich people get is private investment, not bank loans.

So they’re not trying to convince a bank with a credit rating, they’re trying to convince investors with a value proposition.

10. It’s not personal.

This. Financial institutions are not the morality/personal choice police, all they care about is whether you pay or not and if you did that’s great and if you didn’t that’s bad.

If you defaulted on a debt because you had bad luck and had no choice but to do so to stay alive it’s the exact same result for them as someone that defaulted on a similar sized debt but for something else, like strippers, so you’ll be treated equally.

There’s nothing inherently “better” about someone that couldn’t pay out of desperation vs. someone that couldn’t pay out of mismanagement.

9. It’s all in who you know.

Rich/wealthy people use private banking when they use banks.

Credit scores don’t matter much in private banking.

If a rich person wants to finance a 10 million dollar mortgage and has a 100 million dollar investment account with the bank, they’re going to give him/her the loan without caring about anything other than the other outstanding debts that person has.

8. It depends.

This only works for some businesses though, right?

A corporation (like Toys R Us) can easily claim bankruptcy without directly affecting the individuals who are a part of the corporation.

In the case of a proprietorship (like a locally owned and operated store), for example, since the liability of the business is directly tied to the individual owner, wouldn’t that affect their financial standing as well?

7. Who cares about treason?

Or they are financed by Russian mafia who pay a fee to launder money through businesses.

When you have such a bad track record that no one will lend to you any more, you make deals that allow you to still make money on shitty businesses by laundering.

Or you get a “legit” loan through Deutschebank with ties to Russian mobsters.

6. It’s shady as heck.

Fun fact, this is why subcompanies exist too. most property companies will file each building as it’s own company eg. 123 Main St, LLC. and operate it as part of their business and just have that one declare bankruptcy if something drastic goes wrong.

The shadiest example of this is mining companies putting mines into separate companies when they go bust so that they don’t have to deal with the cleanup costs.

“That mine doesn’t belong to MegaCoal anymore, it is property of Toxic Pit, LLC! and Toxic Pit LLC would love to follow the legal steps and cleanup for the property, but they have approximately zero assets or money! Oh well, Toxic Pit is bust! I guess the government has to deal with it now!”

5. Must be nice.

In college I knew a girl who worked for a millionaire. He told her he’d made money and lost it several times. His advice to her was you never use your own money to make money, you use someone else’s.

Hence, as others have pointed out, a corporation that has people buying into it as an investment can go under and there is a separation between the corporation and the individual. This is not talking about a mom and pop gas station but larger businesses.

4. When the bank gambles.

Something I read a while ago on here…

“Take a thousand dollar loan, you worry.

Take a million dollar loan, both you and the bank worry.

Take a billion dollar loan, the bank worries.”

If I fail to repay the thousand dollar loan, the bank will come down heavy on me and I will either pay it or my wages get garnished until the entire loan (plus interest) is paid.

If I fail to pay back the billion dollar loan, the bank will work WITH me because they don’t want to take a massive hit.

3. It’s a classic for a reason.

It’s an old joke:

If you have $10,000 in debt, that’s your problem.

If you have $10,000,000,000 in debt, that’s the bank’s problem.

2. An interesting take.

There was a lot of impact on World War 1 about supporting a country at war for the survival of the country because they owe you money.

If you owe the bank money, the bank controls you. But if you owe the bank enough money, you control the bank. At that point the bank has an interest if your survival

1. Find the right loan officer.

I’m in financial services and here is the basics on this. Most lenders yes would blacklist the individual. But it also depends on the lender and the type of lending being done. Some lenders charge more (higher interest rates) for the added risk and others specialize in Asset Based lending, in which they don’t care about the individual but just the assets.

In most cases, real estate being the most valuable. Many cookie cutter lenders like the big 4 would not touch someone with a 10ft pool that has a BK, but that doesn’t mean someone won’t. There is a lender for everyone out there. Just need to find one.

I don’t know why the world is the way it is, but sometimes I really want off.

Do you think this is fair? Is there any way to change it?

Drop your thoughts in the comments!

The post “How Can Rich People Go Bankrupt and Still Get Loans, but Average People Get Blacklisted for Years?” People Answer. appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Person Asked, “Is It OK to Ask People to NOT Post Pics of My Kid Online?” 15 People Share Their Opinions.

Everybody has different rules when it comes to their kids and social media. Whether it’s screen time for them or how often we choose to share their images ourselves, parents’ expectations really run the gamut.

It seems to follow that we would ask others what they’re comfortable with – and then follow their lead with their kids – before posting pictures of minors on the internet.

Am I being unreasonable asking people to not post pictures of my kids on social media? from NoStupidQuestions

This woman is not finding that to be true, though, leaving the rest of us to realize, once again, that you can’t assume much of anything when it comes to human behavior.

Here are 15 people weighing in on what expectations are reasonable, and what might be expecting too much.

15. Names have power.

I have a friend who, in addition to never posting pictures, also asks that nobody ever say what her child’s NAME is on social media.

As a dad myself, do I think that’s crazy over the top levels of protection? Sure.

But do I also respect her wishes as a parent? Of course.

14. Don’t back down.

That’s not unreasonable at all. That’s your decision as a parent and anyone that argues might have their baby picture taking privileges revoked. I don’t blame you and it’ll be how I handle my children if/when I have them.

People need to respect your decisions. Don’t back down no matter what they say.

13. People have their reasons.

My biological father accidentally found out we had our daughter and we do not say her name or post her pictures on social media. He’s into little girls and our closest family knows and backs us 100%. The less he knows about her the better it is. We never mentioned the name part but it just happened organically and I didn’t realise till you mentioned it in the post.

It’s a special case for us but we’ve had no push backs from people not in the known.

People like you that respect our boundaries( even when it is over the top and you don’t know why) makes it so much easier for people in our situations.

12. Applause, please.

I’d even say OP’s stance is the most reasonable possible. Remember how embarrassing it is for teenagers/young adults, to have photo albums with their baby pictures shown to friends or partners. Now imagine your parents had shared those pictures with the whole world.

People are way too careless about posting shit on social media and i applaud OP for not wanting to subject his/her baby to that.

11. She’s just doing her job.

It’s your job to protect their privacy until they are old enough to do it themselves. You’re doing exactly what you should be doing!

10. What about privacy?

A family friend of mine recently had a baby (about 1.5 years ago). She’s made an Instagram page in the baby’s name where she posts embarrassing pictures of the baby with captions pretending to be the child – for example, captions like “Mama said I have to take a bath after soiling my diapers, but that ruins the fun!” and the like. I am mortified for her and feel bad for the child once the kid is old enough to read. It’s so painfully cringy and such a violation of the child’s privacy!

It’s bonkers to me that a parent could be so selfish & not consider the fact that eventually, their child will grow up, and the child won’t want their name and pictures plastered all over the internet from before they were even old enough to understand consent.

9. One day they’ll understand.

Not only is it reasonable, it’s responsible and forward thinking. There is no guarantee that any of our kids would thank us when they get older for posting pics of them online for all to see. If they want to share them one day then that’s their business.

The way I handled it was to set up a private group for close friends and family to share the occasional picture, but only because those people knew my kid in day-to-day life anyway. That said, my mother-in-law still kept reposting pics to Facebook until we threatened to block her.

8. It’s all a learning curve.

I’ll double down on this, as an already established mother. I didn’t let people post pictures of my kid for a long time. Immediate family is allowed to post pictures now, because they respected my boundaries. More than that, they respected me as I figured out what my boundaries were. I needed to figure out as a mother what felt appropriate, what felt like an overshare.

If OP wants to keep their children off the internet, especially after their previous experience, absolutely everyone needs to respect that wish. There is no reason the child’s picture is needed online.

7. Everyone should have to sign a release.

It would be good to look up what the laws are in your area, as chances are posting a picture of your child on social media would constitute “publication”, and you would have to provide permission for that.

I’m a drama tutor for after school classes and whilst the business I used to work for would encourage us to post on Instagram, I refused to do so unless I had consent from the parents. Too easy for a business to get sued.

6. It’s not funny.

I have asked my family to consult me/us prior to posting any photo of our kids or ourselves.

Most do, but a few wanna tease me or argue with me.

I do not talk to them anymore.

My kids, my life, my decisions.

5. Simple but true.

No way!

Privacy is a right, which you should be able to exercise whenever possible

4. Parenting is personal.

My sister is pretty adamant about not using social media.

The kids are teens now and they have their own accounts but post very rarely.

It’s a personal preference and I think it’s a pretty reasonable one.

3. It’s not all that uncommon.

I know numerous people who exercise their right to keep the image of their baby private.

2. And not just reserved for babies.

My aunt and her spouse specifically had a sign outside their wedding ceremony location entrance requesting that while photos were allowed, they were not to be shared on social media.

That same announcement was also made immediately before the ceremony started.

AFAIK, nobody shared anything.

1. Consent is everything.

You aren’t being unreasonable at all.

My husband and I decided before Baby was even born that he wasn’t going to have on online presence until he could fully appreciate what that meant, and decided he wanted one. Meantime we send pics and vids of him through WhatsApp etc, but his relatives on both side of the Atlantic know that none of these images or vids are for wider dissemination, full stop.

I feel pretty badly for the generations who have had their whole lives put on the internet without their knowledge or consent. Family vloggers are gross, becoming a meme clearly has some downsides, and it’s been pretty well proven that excessive exposure to social media had a deleterious effect on a person’s self-esteem. I want my kid to be aware of what he’s getting into.

Can’t we all just respect each other? I’m starting to think the answer is not really.

What are your rules when it comes to your kids and social media?

Let’s compare in the comments!

The post A Person Asked, “Is It OK to Ask People to NOT Post Pics of My Kid Online?” 15 People Share Their Opinions. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Why Don’t Humans Have a “Mating Season?”

The Reddit forum r/NoStupidQuestions is the place to go when you have a query you’re too embarrassed to ask your friends…or because you’ve already exhausted your friends asking this particular question.

This one should really get those brain-wheels greased – if humans are mammals just like all the rest (or close enough), why isn’t there a human mating season?

If you’re curious now, here’s what 15 people had to say about it!

15. Keep dreaming.

Ugh it’s terrible. I wish we would just have mating seasons.

U horny? yeah I’m horny, mkay let’s bang.

cool. done.

To hell with all this courtship and mind games.

14. Look at the smart guy!

There’s no definitive answer, but one part of it might be that humans are already communal creatures, so there’s no need to synchronize any sort of mating season, because we’re already together.

Additionally, human babies take a long time to mature, and are often looked after by more humans than just the mother, this makes asynchronous births easier, since there will be more humans to help with child care.

13. The more you know?

It’s actually Feb 14 and Jan 1st.

Which is why birthdays in October and November are more common…

12. It might not be for the best.

Organisms that can’t farm or stockpile resources may have no choice. If they don’t all birth when resources are increasing or abundant (usually Spring or Summer), the offspring will die. Of course disasters can strike e.g. a drought leading to famine and a mass die off for a species.

It also worth noting though that most species which require huge amounts of resources usually aren’t too numerous (humans are again another exception there, but evidence is rapidly mounting that we are using up our resources and screwing over the planet which could lead to us causing our own extinction….so yay?)

11. Hahahaha think about it.

Imagine everybody having a break off work to go out and find a mate.

Paid sex vacation?

10. We’re not alone.

Chimps and gorillas don’t have mating sessions either.

9. “Happy” holidays?

Everyone I know seems to have a September birthday which means that December is, apparently, mating season.

8. Seasons don’t matter.

Plus since we have to take care of them for years anyway, it doesn’t really make sense to avoid a winter. We’ll have to do the next one after all.

And writing that down, our species originated in a region with no winter. So the need for a mating season would probably be a lot less prevalent anyway. (Do other big mammals in the African plains have mating seasons?)

7. Blerg.

The human female reproductive cycle repeats every month instead of every year.

Our mating season is all the time except for one week a month.

6. Those dang kids.

Also since the time it takes for human babies to mature enough to no longer need parental support is longer than 1 year, it’d be irrational to have an annual season for mating.

5. There’s always a reason.

We don’t have a firm answer for this in nature, but generally, mating seasons are found in species that a) have a long gestational period; and b) have significantly unequal access to food year round.

Typically the mechanism is a hormonal cycle where the female is only receptive to mating under particular conditions (usually weather and calorie related).

Hardly any apes are seasonal breeders, and the few that are likely developed our common ancestors split. So while we don’t have a firm answer in nature, the most likely answer is that it’s because the ancestors of humans a few million years ago had relatively even access to food throughout the year. Our closest relatives (chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans, and bonobos and gibbons) are all continuous breeders as well.

4. We can feed ourselves any time.

Animal mating seasons typically coincide with the season where resources (namely food) are most abundant. Pregnancy requires a lot of energy, after all, so there’s little point for a deer, for example, to try and have a child in the middle of winter when food is at its scarcest.

Humans, by contrast, have been less dependent on seasons being hunter-gatherers. More importantly, however, by possessing the capacity to be pregnant at any point in the year, males and females are ‘forced’ to stay in close proximity all year long, rather than have the males buggar off and only come back during mating season.

This allows the female to secure food, care, and resource for her and her progeny during the entire year, and allows for a better chance for the offspring to survive (as human offsprings are extremely dependent on their caretakers for a longer period relative to other animal species)

3. So…all year?

If you live in Canada, I’d call it winter.

2. “A continual basis.” Sure.

One of the more unusual aspects of human mating is that unlike most species, ovulation / fertility isn’t on display. If you’ve ever owned a female dog, you’ll know they go into “heat” and begin spotting, leaving a trail everywhere. In the wild this would lead a mate to the female during her fertile window.

Humans are one of the very few if not only(?) species that have this virtually entirely hidden… It requires that the male maintain courtship on a more continual basis… and it’s also heavily involved in preventing something akin to a mating season.

1. Details, because you know you want them.

I think it’s important to point out the differences between a menstrual) cycle and an estrous cycle. In terms of menstruation, humans are among a very limited group of mammals. Menstruation is the shedding of the uterine lining (endometrium), whereas estrous cycles involve the re-absorption of the endometrium.

Menstruation is generally found amongst simian species. There are some bats, the elephant shrew, and the spiny mouse that also have menstruation cycles. Beyond that, placental mammals seem to use estrous cycles. There are species that use the estrous cycle that have bloody discharges from the vagina, and that gets mistaken for menstruation.

Giraffes (estrous cycle) seem to have a pretty subtle process that requires the male to taste/smell the urine of a female in order to tell if they are fertile or not. This can mean that males will headbutt a female in the bladder to get them to pee.

Don’t you just love stuff that gets your gears grinding?

What do you think about these responses? Are you buying it? Tell us in the comments!

The post Why Don’t Humans Have a “Mating Season?” appeared first on UberFacts.

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Do You Have an Irrational Fear of Answering the Phone? People Confess That You’re Not Alone!

It’s one of the more ironic things about our society that now that we all have phones in our hands pretty much 24/7, we’ve developed an intense dislike of actually speaking on them.

We’d rather text or DM or PM or Snapchat or heck, even email before actually picking it up and talking to whoever is on the other end of the line.

This guy has an irrational fear of answering, no matter who is calling, and he wonders if he’s alone.

Does anyone else have this irrational fear of answering calls, no matter who’s calling? from NoStupidQuestions

Luckily, answers like that are just what Reddit is for.

Let’s check them out!

16. Definitely not.

I’m not alone then. I HATE getting calls.

Text me all you want – just don’t call me. I get anxious and uncomfortable and I have no idea why.

It’s gotten so bad even my girlfriend is affected. Yeah, she can call me and I’d answer, but our calls rarely go beyond 3 minutes.

I’m not even joking.

15. Those are the devil, too.

Sort of.

But for some reason I will never listen to a voicemail message as I think for some reason they’ll always be bad.

14. No good reason.

My biggest issue is unknown numbers.

I haven’t deleted a number I’ve saved in my phone since I got it but stuff like I’ve joined some service and the person I’m in contact with will use one number but their contact may contact me from another then the initial person has a work mobile that’s set to private and it’s all WHY IS SOMEONE PHONING ME???

13. Even more reason not to answer in your private time.

Yes.

I also work at a call center.

It’s lots of fun.

12. Things are getting worse, too.

I have a very difficult time answering phone calls. It wasn’t something I’ve always had… it’s progressed over the last 18 years.

Hell, even if I don’t answer and the callers leaves a message, I have a difficult time actually listening to the message. I don’t understand it… it’s completely irrational.

The only thing I can think of is that in my mind, if I don’t acknowledge the call or the message, I don’t have to deal with whatever potential threat/problem/situation exists on the other end.

11. Sometimes we have to.

I’m a 911 operator and I still have anxiety about using the phone, outside of work of course.

I’m guessing a different state of mind exists when you’re working that kind of blocks it out.

10. Sooooo awkward.

Yes, I have social anxiety to begin with but for some reason not being able to see the person I’m talking to makes it so much worse.

Also the city I live in has dogsh%t cell reception so by the fourth time I have to say “I’m sorry, say again?”

I’m about ready to curl up in a ball and give up. LOL

9. Anxiety is no fun.

Yes, but I suffer from generalized anxiety.

When my anxiety is really unsettled, the phone is really hard for me.

Making or receiving calls can be a totally daunting task.

Overwhelming, even.

Without the invention of texting, I would be SOL.

8. Just say no.

Yes. I hate answering my phone unless I know who it is or am expecting a call.

I just let it go to voicemail and then call back if necessary.

7. Apps are a godsend.

Luckily these days most places hat deliver support online or app ordering.

Haven’t called for a good delivery in a couple years.

6. Hopefully next year.

It certainly does make me feel anxious, and if I’m not expecting a call and it’s an unknown number, a little afraid too.

Either way, both of us should leave the house more often.

5. Humans should come with warning labels.

Yep! My boyfriend is nice enough to make appointments for me and pick up my meds.

I don’t know why but every time I make the calls myself it’s like I have this strange kind of goodbye exchange that seems all intimate and weird.

And then one time I accidentally hung up on a lady without saying bye and I could not get over it, I felt so bad.

I hate calling people, god dammit. I also probably never answer the phone when it rings.

Just send me an email or something I’m scared, I’m poor, I’m anxious, I don’t want what you’re selling.

4. It’s a real thing.

Telephone phobia is reluctance or fear of making or taking phone calls, literally, “fear of telephones”. It is considered to be a type of social phobia or social anxiety.

It may be compared to glossophobia, in that both arise from having to engage with an audience, and the associated fear of being criticized, judged or made a fool of.

3. Why would you?

Same.

I never answer my phone if I’m not expecting a call or don’t know who it is.

If they don’t leave a message I don’t call back.

2. This is definitely a thing.

I’ll do you one better.

If I’m going to order ahead from a restaurant and I discover that they don’t have online ordering, I find a different restaurant.

1. At least you’re not alone.

generalized anxiety
That feeling when you are watching the screen, knowing you cant reject the call, and holding your breath until the call leaves the screen, so you can get back to Reddit.

Next, you wonder how long is best to wait, before you text them an excuse as to why you didn’t answer..

Then, you get lost on Reddit and forget someone called, and you never call or text them back.

Eventually, you see them in person, they’re all, “yooo, you never answer your phone! Why do you even have one?!”

Sorry, I just suck at life.

I don’t think I have a fear,  exactly, but I would definitely rather text.

Give us your thoughts in the comments!

The post Do You Have an Irrational Fear of Answering the Phone? People Confess That You’re Not Alone! appeared first on UberFacts.