Peel back the curtains on the fascinating state of Missouri, and you’ll discover a host of intriguing facts that may astound you. Welcome to ’10 Incredible Insights About Missouri’. 1. In an impressive ecological milestone, Missouri emerged as the pioneering US state to embed wildlife conservation into its constitution. Established through a statewide referendum, this … Continue reading 10 Incredible Insights About Missouri
Police Arrested a Man in Missouri After a Loud Fart Gave Away His Hiding Spot
Headline of the year? So far, I’d say yes.
Police officers in Liberty, Missouri, were hot on the trail of a man with a felony warrant out for his arrest – he was wanted for possession of a controlled substance – and about to pull out all of the stops. Fox9 reports that K-9 units had been called in to track his scent, but they were never deployed…
Because the guy let a fart rip so loudly that it gave away his hiding place.
I mean, that is some gas, if you can’t hold it in long enough to not get arrested.
If you’ve got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you pass gas so loud it gives up your hiding spot, you’re definitely having a
day.
#ItHappened
Posted by Clay County, Missouri Sheriff on Tuesday, July 9, 2019
The local police station had a bit of fun with the incident on their Facebook page (because how could you not?), and everyone who has read the story has had a similar (snort-laughing) response as well.
Here are some of the better ones (in this writer’s opinion).
“Looks like he sentenced himself….to the gas chamber” pic.twitter.com/HHeMtRlx5b
— Drew Hall (@waymoreDrew) July 10, 2019
“He had the right to remain silent, but he didn’t have the ability.”
He blew it.
— LST (@LSTMUZIC) July 9, 2019
“Boy, am I glad I caught wind of this story.”
Well shit….
— huong le (@hvl_8) July 9, 2019
“I fart the law and the law won.”
To be honest, I’m still not over it.
I swear, I’ll go to my grave wishing there was video.
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Entire Internet is Disturbed by Revelation That St. Louis Slices Bagels Like Bread
St. Louis, MO is apparently a world unto itself… and not just because they’ve got the world-famous Arch.
Photo Credit: iStock
The reason we’re talking about the Gateway City today is because of what they do to these delicious circles of boiled and baked bread.
Photo Credit: iStock
Yes, we’re talking about the humble bagel – the chewy, Jewish-American breakfast staple traditionally served sliced in half, smeared with cream cheese and maybe with a bit of lox and capers?
YUM!
But this is apparently what happens to bagels in St. Louis:
Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced. It was a hit! pic.twitter.com/XNGbljtpYz
— Alek Krautmann (@AlekKrautmann) March 26, 2019
Yes. Apparently in St. Louis they treat bagels like they’re loaves of bread. And the internet is NOT having it.
I’m going to lose my fucking mind this should be a goddamn felony why the FUCK would you do THIS I’m literally furious and I want to call the fucking SWAT team https://t.co/zs5pmXVxfa
— hi I’m barbra where’s the microwave (@annagearyx) March 27, 2019
Because why people… why?!?
I believe this is a Class A felony in New York City. And if its not, it should be. https://t.co/ngbbPFvnya
— Justin Brannan (@JustinBrannan) March 27, 2019
Does anybody like St. Louis anyway? (Don’t answer that St. Louisians. You don’t count.)
We regret to inform you that St. Louis is cancelled. https://t.co/XSlhL1sN2G
— בנימן טבלוב | Benjamin (@bentev28) March 27, 2019
Although it’s probably too late for this idea…
sell st. louis back to france https://t.co/DTDYNRd8eJ
— Walter Hickey (@WaltHickey) March 27, 2019
“Bread slicing” bagels almost feels like a hate crime.
is this anti-semitism because it sure feels like it https://t.co/7hbFUn0hgx
— julian?? (@_oygevalt) March 27, 2019
But maybe Christina has an answer. Because what is this St. Louis Bread Company and how can we stop them?
Can confirm. No one has ever eaten an entire cinnamon crunch bagel from St. Louis Bread Company (or “Panera” for you other folk). It must be bread-sliced and shared. Justice for bread-sliced chocolate chip bagels, too. I stand by this tweet. https://t.co/k4BOrmlch2
— Christina Stiehl (@ChristinaStiehl) March 27, 2019
Even Panera weighed in and we’re even more confused! Why are you divided about this?
Our team is divided over here. Do other people slice their bagel Bread Co style? https://t.co/NbdZjj6G6C
— Panera Bread (@panerabread) March 27, 2019
Quick fun fact many people outside of St. Louis don’t know. In St. Louis, Panera is actually called St. Louis Bread Company. And they have bread slicers in every location for just this reason.
Needless to say, employees suffer as a result.
smile thru the pain especially when ppl order 18 bagels bread sliced
— jenna (@mightbejenna) April 12, 2015
The struggle is real.
@PaneraProbz *after cleaning the bread slicer* Customer: can I get a bagel pack of cinnamon crunch bread sliced! Me:
— alejandro. (@aHurtado310) November 26, 2012
Real fucking real.
Highlight of my day: woman who ordered 4 dozen bagels at our busiest time of day and wanted them ALL bread sliced. #callaheadbitch
— Jenna Brown (@TheeJennaB) November 13, 2010
Nothing is going to solve this predicament. St. Louis bagel eaters are still going to act like god damn monsters, “bread slicing” their bagels from now until eternity.
But none of us has to like it. Or ever go to St. Louis again.
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