Category: men

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It’s About Time to Normalize Therapy for Men

These days we could probably all use some therapy.

Life is hard, and it seems like people who do have a therapist tend to find the experience very helpful.

Getting started can be difficult though: making that first phone call, finding the right person that you connect with.

It can be daunting.

And in general, men are a lot less likely to seek out therapy as a coping mechanism than women are.

That doesn’t mean they need it any less.

Image credit: Guillaume de Germain via Unsplash

In fact, the stigma surrounding men and therapy has become something of a joke on social media, with users posting all the things men will “literally” do instead of therapy:

It’s a funny sort of commentary on current events:

But all jokes aside, it can be a real problem.

As LifeHacker explains:

The idea that men must be strong in the face of mental distress is deeply entrenched, leading to higher rates of substance abuse, homicide, suicide, and a lower life expectancy than women in the United States and beyond.

Instead, men are often left drifting, finding their own ways to cope.

People have all kinds of reasons for seeking or not seeking professional help.

A person with anxiety, for example, may be too anxious to reach out.

Reluctance to seek mental health assistance can affect anyone, of any age or gender.

So why the emphasis on the gender gap? Because some of them are culturally ingrained.

A lot of men’s reservations about therapy today are rooted in archaic notions of masculinity. The outdated conventional wisdom hoists men up as paragons of emotional stability, who are expected to be wage-winners and protectors of the family. That notion endures, coloring the aversion that lots of men have to talking about their problems in present day.

The way I see it, men are conditioned to believe that not being self-reliant is a sign of weakness. Women, on the other hand, are taught that being self-reliant is a display of strength. It’s a subtle nuance, but an important one.

It means that for men, even the slightest hint that you might not be able to do it on your own, asking for help, is a sign of weakness. Whereas for women, advocating for yourself, asking for help when needed, is seen as contributing to your own self-reliance, and therefore to your strength.

So what’s the solution? London journalist Edward Clowes explained it perfectly to LifeHacker:

“The framing of therapy for men should never be about being broken and needing fixing.

Men should look at therapy the same way they look at any other act of self-improvement.

Like going to the gym but for your mental health, instead of your physical health.”

Well said!

Image credit: Brooke Cagle via Unsplash

And that’s just it. We all need training and conditioning to be stronger. We all need a little help sometimes. There’s no shame asking for it.

What do you think? Should we normalize therapy for all, including men?

Tell us in the comments.

The post It’s About Time to Normalize Therapy for Men appeared first on UberFacts.

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13 People Get Real About Men’s Issues That Are Often Overlooked

The more you know, right?

Society is changing pretty rapidly, but I believe there is still a bit of a stigma surrounding men and how their emotions, thoughts, and feelings are explored or even acknowledged.

So, in short, we still have a long way to go in that department.

AskReddit users opened up about the men’s issues that they believe often get overlooked.

Let’s see what they had to say.

1. Lonely.

“Crushing, black, empty, cold, never-ending, screaming-into-the-void loneliness and everyone’s casual shrug when I even hint about it.

Just work, pay taxes, walk the dog, keep your mouth shut, don’t have feelings, don’t be short, try to keep up appearances of virility, and never, ever, whatever you do, don’t let anyone know how lonely you are because they’ll just sort of awkwardly giggle and change the subject.”

2. Mental illness.

“I work at a psychiatric hospital and out of the thirteen wards, only three are for women.

The huge problem to face men is mental illness and most, if not all the patients are there because they kept taking drugs as well.”

3. Maybe you should watch your kids…

“Was camping with friends a few years back. They have kids, I don’t.

We saw a toddler wandering around with no adults in sight, my friends, dealing with their own kids asked me to go see if I can help the lost kid out. The parents saw me bringing their kid back and instead of thanking me, freaked out and called the police.

Had my friends not showed up, I probably would have been arrested, all because some shi**y parents couldn’t watch their own kid and freaked when a man brought their kid back to them.”

4. Is this fair?

“I saw a woman attempting to hit her boyfriend outside a local supermarket.

He walked away from her. She followed him and kept hitting him. After this went on for about 90 seconds he shoved her away roughly once.

Two cars immediately stopped and men jumped out of them shouting at and threatening this guy for shoving her.

Nobody did anything when she was attacking him.”

5. Awful.

“Men as victims of r**e and s**ual a**ault. It’s a joke. Flat out a joke.

No one believes you. People mock you. “How? Why did you let him/her?” “Why didnt you just… stop them?” “A guy like you? Why didn’t you stop them?”

You’re looked down on as a failure. People don’t care as much because you’re not a female or your “flower” wasn’t taken.

It’s just a massive s**t show.”

6. Feeling isolated.

“Isolation.

I’ve felt this myself, and I’ve done some reading about it. Men tend to become more isolated and lonely as they get older. After a certain point they don’t make an effort to gain friendships and tend to shy away from any type of social engagement. I feel this way, because as of right now, I don’t have a close male friend. At least not someone I can talk to about things going on with me personally.

I know a lot of people, but I’m less and less engaged with them as each year passes. It concerns me as of late, because I don’t want to end up a hermit, but without a solid relationship, I could see myself headed this direction in my older years.”

7. Shamed.

“Pe**s shaming. Along with fat shaming and height shaming, it’s some of the most casual cruelty I hear frequently.

Even if it’s joking about “little d**k energy”, even if it’s not meant to be malicious, as someone with not-quite-a-microp**is-but-might-as-well-be, it’s devastating every time.

Just one more way I feel inadequate, one more way I’m “not a real man”. It hurts even more when other men do it.”

8. Sick of it.

“Height is a common thing to joke about.

Nobody sees a problem with it but it can really whittle away at your self worth when people always make fun of you for it.

Yes, I’m shorter than normal.

It hurts.”

9. Only human.

“Man… my entire past built up to a head and I ugly cried on my wife. Completely collapsed and hyperventilated I cried so hard.

Then it took me 2 weeks to feel normal again because of the inadvertent shame I felt for showing those emotions. My wife is super supportive and encouraged me through the WHOLE ordeal and never made me feel shame.

It was me. Brothers, we are too hard on ourselves. We are humans, just like everyone else.”

10. Watch your back.

“Inter male v**lence .

I’m 5’9″ and guys that are bigger have no problem being a d**che or even v**lent with me . I have to watch myself more than others as a result, I have been punched out for bumping into the wrong person.

The cops didn’t help either again cause I’m a guy, they basically thought I started it and should’ve defended myself. When in reality I bumped into someone drunk and he decided to punch me in the back of the head repeatedly .

I got zero help from the cops..

If that happened to a girl they would’ve been all over it .”

11. Careers.

“Society doesn’t seem to support a man who is without a job. There is pressure and programming for a male to be a breadwinner and no sympathy for when they want to be a house-dad.

Reason for my rant: My brother left a job due to a health issue. He has a 4yr old boy. His wife makes better money than him and they are financially secure. He worked too much which probably led to the health issue. I told him to take his time and heal.

If he felt that urge to ‘provide’ that he could take over the house duties and give the nanny the summer off to connect with his son. I shared with him that I had been laid off a few times and each time I rushed back to getting a job even though we were secure enough because of the guilt I felt everyday of not ‘providing’. He took the advice, I could see him smiling more, he started a garden with his boy, he cooked every meal and realized he loved to cook.

I was happy to see him being happy again. Enter my brother’s wife who says to us, “I’m the only bread winner now. I am so stressed out having to provide for this family by myself.” I saw the happiness drain from him and anxiety filled that place. He is now set to start the same job he had prior just appease the guilt he has from not ‘earning’.

The guilt was confirmed by his wife’s statement on top of the male programming of not contributing unless he is making money.”

12. A tough one.

“Mental health.

And this is coming from someone who has lived on the ideas of “you’re a guy, get over yourself”. It was taught to me, I didn’t think much of it, and now that I’m about to hit 20, I can feel the effects like a ripple.

It’s actually hard for me to open up to people and when I do I feel like I’m wasting everyone’s time.”

13. Insecure.

“It’s the worst to feel insecure about feeling insecure.

My ex girlfriend had depression and was always super insecure and needy at the beginning of our relationship. I supported her through it. But when I talked about my own self-esteem issues,I could instantly feel that she lost respect for me. Now I was “too sensitive and emotional”, and I was “the girl in the relationship”.

It’s been over for two months and I am still really insecure about my issues. I am afraid that if I will show my insecurities to a girl again, I will lose her again. But I also don’t want to wear this mask of the secure, stoic man all the time.

I just hope there are woman out there who really allow their partner to feel insecure from time to time and don’t lose respect for them when they do so.”

Okay, now it’s your turn to sound off.

In the comments, tell us what men’s issues you think get overlooked.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post 13 People Get Real About Men’s Issues That Are Often Overlooked appeared first on UberFacts.

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What Men’s Issues Are Often Overlooked? People Shared Their Thoughts.

I think times are changing, but there was a time when most men just didn’t really open up about their problems and about how they felt about a lot of things.

And, in turn, a lot of things that men deal with haven’t been explored at all.

What men’s issues tend to be overlooked?

Here’s how people responded on AskReddit.

1. Isolated.

“Isolation. Many men have no friends.

More so, they don’t know how to find meaningful friendships, it’s incredibly difficult to know where to even begin, moreso if you’re not in college or school.

I’m 24, almost 25 and never had an emotional outlet. I don’t even know what that looks like in a healthy sense. The first relationship I had, I believe I ruined because I put too much of what I had been carrying for so long on that person, as patient and as caring as they were.”

2. Take it like a man.

“Abuse from women/other men.

We’re told to just take it and toughen up, it builds character, puts hair on the chest etc. and we don’t need support or a helping hand.

F**k that.”

3. Needing support.

“The lack of a good support system.

Just because a guy has people that he hangs out with, doesn’t mean he’s comfortable telling them serious personal issues.”

4. No laughing matter.

“The fact that people ridicule and laugh at you for having depression is something we ALL need to talk about.

It isn’t funny. Depression is real and the fact that so many are choosing to keep it quiet is disturbing.”

5. What do you do?

“In western culture, men are defined by what they do and not by who they are (being).

So, when they retire they often develop mental illness because they are no longer “doing”. this often leads to s**cide.

Then there’s the whole nonsense of the stoic emotionless man getting on with the work.”

6. A lot of this out there.

“Emotional ab**e of men.

My BF suffered that in both his marriages and I am SO CAREFUL to not say or do anything that could make him feel the way they made him feel. I try very hard to be sure he knows I value him for who he is, just the way he is, every single day. Even he doesn’t know how much damage they caused him.

I will never get over this 1950s assumption that women can’t abuse men. Women ab**e men way more often than anyone realizes, and the system is stacked against men in so many different ways.”

7. Mind your own business.

“So I’m at the park playing tag with these kids I’m babysitting and out of nowhere this old lady comes up to me and starts asking all sorts of questions. Do you know these kids? What are there names? Can you call their parents for me?

Even asking the kids if they knew me and when they answered yes, she responded with “you don’t have to lie, if you don’t know this man, you can tell me and I can help you.””

8. Not a joke.

“Erectile dysfunction.

It seems like a joke, but guys literally k**l them selves because of it.

It’s like losing the ability to love, losing your manhood, losing your ability to feel intimate with someone”

9. Has an impact.

“Male pattern baldness and the impact it can have on mental health and body image.

Imagine being in college surrounded by guys with perfect NW1 hairlines with all these cool fades and modern trendy hairstyles while you’re stuck looking like Moby or Varys from GOT. Brutal.

The worst part is nobody really talks about it, it’s a very hidden and taboo issue that many men go though but society refuses to truly address, so they are forced to suffer in silence.”

10. Disposable.

“Male disposability.

If something is dangerous, send men. Your partner can replace you easily. Your only value is what you offer to other people and the minute you are not useful anymore people cast you aside like the fungible commodity you are.

I would like to be treated like I have inherent value as a person, not like I’m something to be tolerated until I’m no longer useful.”

11. Hurtful.

“I run recreational kids programs at a community center.

There have been several times women refuse to drop their kids off when myself and another male are working the program. Doesn’t matter if other moms dropping their kids off tell them we’re fine and they’ve known us for years.

Then they go to the front desk to complain and get told the same thing and they act like they simply can’t understand how two adult males could possibly care for a group of 3-5 year olds. There are often implications they dance around as to why must be working there.

And I get you should be comfortable with the people you’re dropping your kids off with but what kind of message are you sending to your own kids when you pitch a fit about how men simply can’t be trusted? What message do you send to your own son?

I love my job and it hurts to be viewed as untrustworthy or even a predator simply because I’m a guy.”

12. Insecure.

“Insecurity in general.

You’re not supposed to show that you have doubts or worries about your abilities or self-image. A man is supposed to be confident, able and self-assured. It’s not okay for men to admit that they lack self-esteem, or that they have genuine problems with their self-image, as they are seen as weaknesses in-and-of themselves.

Other men or women aren’t going to ‘bring you up’. They won’t provide emotional support and tell you it’s okay to be unconfident or to feel shame about who you are – they will simply expect that you should take it on the chin. Not everyone can be ‘that’ guy.

But, for a man, what actually makes you feel like a man is being that guy.

So you kind of walk around pretending that you’re happy, despite the fact that you’re not seen as valuable or as desirable as other men – because in doing so, you would be seen as even less valuable or desirable.”

What men’s issues do you think get overlooked?

Talk to us in the comments and fill us in.

Thanks a lot!

The post What Men’s Issues Are Often Overlooked? People Shared Their Thoughts. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Check Out Some of the Weirdest Things Found in Guys’ Bathrooms

Men have weird bathrooms. I already knew this, as a dude who’s done my share of odd bathrooming, but I didn’t know it as hard as I know it now that I’ve scrolled through this tweet thread.

The horrors and oddities you will find here can never be unseen, so be warned. Be they from a house, apartment, dorm, school, or just a plain ol’ public men’s room, the things shown and described here defy all reason and are sure to leave you changed forever… to some degree.

But if you’re curious still, scroll on. And see what Twitter hath for thee.

11. The combo

For those keeping score at home, this would appear to be some ungodly hybrid of a plunger and a “toilet” brush.

10. Safety first

I cannot fathom how this is working.

9. No words

We’ll have no bones about it.

8. Jeff go boom

You were so busy trying to find out if you could do it that you forgot to ask if you should.

7. Bird is the word

He is clearly trying to think something through, please leave him be.

6. Orange you glad?

The juice is most definitely loose.

5. Absolutely blinding

Honestly I could maybe use something like that.

4. Storage solutions

We’ve found it. We’ve found the single most “Kyle” photo that will ever grace the internet.

3. Magically delicious

I have so many questions and I want none of them answered.

2. Super sword

Um. Why.

1. Be my guest

My companion, my second, my number two, if you will.

I may never poop again.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a bathroom?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Check Out Some of the Weirdest Things Found in Guys’ Bathrooms appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Woman’s Question Kicks Off Weird Parade of “Boy Bathroom” Discoveries

Twitter user @JodieeGrace may or may not have known what she was getting herself into when she tweeting the following:

Far from being an isolated incident of weirdness, responses on Twitter began to pour in by the thousands. You may think you know the sort of thing you’re about to see, but trust me, you probably don’t.

Some were text descriptions while other provided photo or even video receipts, some were from private homes while others originated in public bathrooms or shared dorm facilities. No matter where they came from, the message was clear: we guys gotta get our s**t together when it comes to bathrooms.

10. White boy summer

Hey man, you gotta let it grow somewhere.

9. Bag it up

Some kid out there very nearly understands how a toilet works.

8. What’s the story?

Actually nevermind, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to hear it.

7. Soup’s on

Why was somebody eating in the bathroom and how sure are you that that was soup?

6. Taking a dump

It’s hard work, but somebody’s gotta do it.

5. Dear diary

Been sitting here for as long as I can remember now.
I may literally be getting too old for this s**t.

4. Only the essentials

I get the magazine but why the country cro-oooooooh.

3. Drip drip drip

“My lights are leaking.”
“Are you high again?”
“Yes but that’s irrelevant.”

2. Morning snack

This is gonna put me off my dinner, I swear.

1. Travel the world

Ah the glorious life of a pilot.

Well, that’s enough of that. You only get one set of eyes in this life.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a bathroom?

Tell us in the comments.

The post A Woman’s Question Kicks Off Weird Parade of “Boy Bathroom” Discoveries appeared first on UberFacts.

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Women, What Do Men Do That Scares You but They Don’t Realize? Ladies Responded.

I’m a man, so I’m gonna say right off the bat that I have no clue what a woman goes through on any level.

But I will admit that there are a million thing that men do that scares women…and sometimes guys don’t even realize they’re doing it.

So these responses will be very enlightening for all of us.

Women on AskReddit opened up about what men unknowingly do that scares them.

Let’s see what they had to say.

1. Uncomfortable.

“Messages you on a dating app commenting on having found your profile and that they are in the same location as you, they can see you but you can’t see them.

I had a guy do this on a fully packed train I was on to go to work. I’m not an anxious person but it felt really uncomfortable.”

2. Never.

“Following you to your car to get your number.

Don’t. Ever. Do. That.”

3. Deal breaker.

“While talking online and I say “I don’t know about meeting up” and their response is “You are more likely to be r**ed by someone you actually know in person”

Yup… Not meeting up now.”

4. Too intense.

“Getting really intense about our relationship or friendship really early on.

A lot of guys turn women into this kind of fantasy thing that’s supposed to make them whole/help them change or whatever.

Sir I am the main character in my own life, not just a supporting one in yours.

When you put that pressure on me right away without reciprocation, I know that I don’t actually matter, you’ve been taught that women serve you”

5. Creepy.

“I’ve been approached several times in public by random men who say they want to be friends with me. One leaned in really close to have a conversation and asked me where I was from and where I live.

Another grabbed my hands and remarked on how soft my skin is. Another one literally locked arms with me and dragged me to a coffee shop to “get to know me” and then later told me to come with him to a more private place for a view of the city.

I weakly joke about it sometimes but in the moment it really does make me nervous. I don’t know if I just look really unimposing (I’m an Asian woman but I’m taller than average?) but I’m not sure why it happens.

Regardless, please don’t just grab random women, even out of friendliness, and respect personal space.”

6. Uncalled for.

“Blocking my path or physically holding me in place if they are not done talking to me.

Basically, using more strength/size to restrict my motion in any way.”

7. You can stop now.

“Calling them beautiful as much as possible.

Once or twice is nice, if you know them, but if you don’t know the guy and he says it too much it freaks me out.”

8. Whoa.

“I had a guy come into the store I worked at and leave within ten minutes.

Not even 5 minutes after he left, he had searched me up on Instagram and messaged me, as well as all other social media. He didn’t have my last name and literally sat in the parking lot to search me up and message me.

And then he came into the store a lot more to learn what shifts I worked and was ALWAYS THERE. That’s not endearing or cool, it’s creepy and makes me not want to go to work anymore.”

9. Hey, I’m a nice guy.

“Any time someone tries really hard to convince me he’s a “nice guy”. Every guy I’ve met that desperately brings it up every chance he gets isn’t usually very nice.

It always makes me wonder what are they trying to hide? Like why do I have to think you’re nice? Prove it with your actions, don’t tell me repeatedly.”

10. Gross.

“Hit on you in locations where you cannot escape (enclosed places like elevators, or work places).

I had a taxi driver hit on me, question me about my love life and ask for my number. I was literally locked in a moving vehicle with the guy, how are you supposed to feel safe saying no?!

Luckily, I think he was just a nice clueless guy so I felt safe enough to negotiate and take his number instead of giving mine out.”

11. Ugh.

“Once I was staying in a hotel with my boyfriend and needed to go down to the lobby.

I got on the elevator and saw a guy holding flowers and wine, so I asked if he was meeting a girlfriend. I’m from the south, so it’s just friendly small talk. He replied, “Something like that. You can come if you want to.” It immediately made me nervous. Politely declined and said my boyfriend was waiting for me.

He said, “So to a guy like me, all I can hear you saying is that you’d come with me if he wasn’t here.” I was so upset. I didn’t take the elevator alone again.”

12. Not a good thing.

“Driving really aggressively and having road rage.

When I was younger and dating I had so many experiences as a passenger with young guys who were otherwise normal but really intense and scary when they got behind the wheel.

It always seemed like a red flag.”

Do any other women out there want to chime in on this subject?

If so, please talk to us in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post Women, What Do Men Do That Scares You but They Don’t Realize? Ladies Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Women Dating Men Open Up About Their Unexpected Affairs with Women

Do you sometimes feel like maybe you’re not living a very adventurous life?

I mean, I’ve done plenty of interesting things in my time and have had the pleasure of creating things and even making money having a lot of fun with my hobbies.

But then I read stories like these, about making new discoveries about your own sexuality in the midst of fiery affairs and I think “Wow, am I boring?”

But also…I don’t want the baggage?

I think I’ll just read some accounts from these anonymous posters.

10. “I’m too afraid to tell him.”

How does one start a conversation like that?

Source: Whisper

9. “The truth is…”

People don’t stop being bisexual once they get married.
Sexual orientation and commitment aren’t the same thing?

Source: Whisper

8. “I’m that girl.”

With a twist to the typical story.

Source: Whisper

7. “I can’t help but miss her.”

What do you do when your heart is split in two?

Source: Whisper

6. “No clue.”

Are you sure he doesn’t suspect a thing?

Source: Whisper

5. “A female coworker.”

To be fair, that’s the only way you can book a conference room.

Source: Whisper

4. “No one would ever suspect this.”

And what will they think when they find out?

Source: Whisper

3. “I ruined my relationship.”

Well, cheating will do that.

Source: Whisper

2. “I could never come out.”

The pressure to stay in the closet is still very real.

Source: Whisper

1. “If only he knew…”

Then what?

Source: Whisper

Wild, wild stuff.

Have you had an experience like this?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Women Dating Men Open Up About Their Unexpected Affairs with Women appeared first on UberFacts.

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Women Discuss the Nonsense They’re Still Expected to Put Up With

As a male, I have never once envied women. I know that some guys say they do, but I’ve never understood that. And the more I learn, the truer that is.

women, what is something that women experience and is seen as “normal” but is actually very wrong/shouldn’t be as accepted as it is? from AskWomen

Here are just a few of the awful impediments associated with womanhood, as laid out by the women of Reddit.

1. Downplaying how bad periods are.

I hate this, I was so used to thinking it was normal to feel horrible pain and I was being a baby, I remember several times I kept on with my plans although I felt like dying because I was taught I had to.

Turns out I have endometriosis and It makes me so mad.

– eatingcookiesallday

2. The s**pectations.

Feeling “expected” to have s** and having their pleasure being secondary.

I experienced this a lot when I was younger and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Like, I thought if I was kissing a guy “well, now I’m expected to have s** with him because he’s turned on. I guess I have to.” And also thinking that during s**, the end goal was really mostly about him.

It wasn’t until I was older than I realized how flawed it was for me to think that way and for men to have reinforced that thinking via their actions.

– GreenMountain85

3. “Boys will be boys.”

inappropriate behavior from men, especially from a young age.

If a boy hits a little girl he “just likes her”. That little boy grows up thinking there’s no repercussion for violence, and keeps hitting women.

The cycle just goes on.

– professional_joe

4. Restricted movement.

dressing little girls in a way that makes it difficult for them to move around. your four year old should not miss out on valuable play because she doesn’t want to mess up her clothes or hair. her appearance should be the last freaking thing on her mind.

it makes me so angry to see little girls having to sit on the sidelines while their brothers and male cousins play rambunctiously because their parents put them in a dress and expensive shoes. i hate the bulls**t propaganda that little girls “naturally” prefer playing quietly indoors and/or alone.

sure, it may be true for some little girls (just like it’s also true for some little boys), but you cannot tell me that socialisation doesn’t play a massive role in what kind of play children “naturally” prefer.

– [deleted user]

5. Mansplaining.

That condescending and infuriatingly arrogant tone that some men take on when explaining something (be it a hobby, some interesting fact, or the fundamentals of this and that) when their listener is a woman.

I understand that this may simply be done to impress rather than be irritating, but just knowing that they wouldn’t dare talk this way to male friend or colleague is…well, irritating.

– Marjory_SB

6. Degrading terminology.

Women being called “girls.” Whether it is conscious or not, it implies a lack of maturity and, therefore, deserved respect. Among countless other places I have heard this, I attempted to watch a season of The Bachelor (bad decision for many reasons) and I could not stand how often the women were called “girls.”

I couldn’t bring myself to check out The Bachelorette, but I suspect the men are never called “boys.”

– merrypoppin

7. “Why don’t you smile?”

When I was a kid, I usually cried when they insisted me to smile. I have millions of pictures of me crying, with watery eyes or looking really mad on family weddings.

There’s this one picture that I specifically remember my mother asking me to smile “cmon, show me some teeth!” And I literally just showing my teeth, no smile. What a brave little girl I was.

I started to smile by obligation later on, after my first job

– an_angry_kirby

8. Constant scrutiny.

The constant picking apart of women’s appearance by basically everyone and holding women to insane beauty standards.

Extensions, false lashes, makeup, drawn on eyebrows, contouring tricks to change your face, dye your hair, dress s**y, don’t dress too s**y, wax your privates, dye your hair, stay in shape, have a big butt, tiny waist, push up bras, get fake nails, on and on and freakin on.

– Snoo55011

9. Bizarre expectations.

I find it a bit insulting when you see a picture of a woman who is really pretty and you find out that she’s a top scientist or engineer or a doctor, something very prestigious, and a person says “ Wow, She’s pretty, I wasn’t expecting that!”

What, like are smart people usually butt ugly? pretty girls can’t be smart? Wtf! I feel like that’s really common and needs to end.

– itsrachyrach

10. Absorbing men’s dysfunction.

He was abused? She’ll talk him through the best therapy she can manage.

He was never taught how to (normal life skill here)? She’ll do it for him.

He’s too macho to take care of himself? She’ll nag him till he does, and she better be a good sport and laugh as she’s ridiculed for “being a nag”.

– plotthick

11. Harassment in the workplace.

Obviously harassment in ANY workplace is vile and wrong, but my aunt once told me to except to be flirted with, hit on, and harassed if I continued to work in kitchens/restaurants.

She said it was “just part of the territory” and that I needed to just “understand that that’s the environment.”

Excuse me? No. I don’t care what the environment is, women shouldn’t have to put up with harassment in the workplace.

– landw497

12. Not being listened to.

Seriously; I recently had a two-minute conversation with four of the men in my department (only woman there), and I had three of them in series each claim I was wrong about a different technical point, then immediately tell me the “correct” answer which was exactly what I had just told them.

I looked to the fourth man and asked him, “Did that just happen?” He agreed. Lots of pouty faces that day for being called on it in front of the boss.

– Arbiter_of_Balance

13. “The body count.”

I love s**. I need s**. If I met a guy I like (at least he’s hot, let’s put intelligence to the side).

I want him. I flirt with him. He wants me too. We f**k. I am happy. He is happy. We don’t want the relationship to go any further and maybe we even stop talking and never see each other again.

Who is seen as a slut? Me.

Who is seen as a hero? Him.

Wtf?

Even if it was me seducing him? Even if it was consent from both sides? Even though it was two people just wanting to f**k each other and nothing more?

I think to be a slut you have to sleep around with guys you don’t even like, and maybe when you regret your hookups, but it doesn’t belong to any gender. Guys can be sluts too. And I knew many that are, I mean, they f**k girls once and they say they didn’t even like them? They say they are ugly etc.

What the f**k?

– -acidlean-

14. “When a boy is mean to you, that means he likes you…”

JUST NO!!!

Anyone that truly loves you will not hurt you mentally, physically, or verbally. EVER!!! They tell you this s**t when you’re young to prepare your for a dirtbag husband in the future and some women never get the common sense to see that it’s actually a bully!

Ugh, this totally just grinds my gears!!!!! ?

– Chuck2025

15. Being treated like you’re frail.

When people won’t let you do things because you’re a woman or tell you to wait for or get your male partner to do that thing.

I know it might be put across, commonly, as a care or consideration, but it’s condescending, diminishing and a deprivation, at times.

– riverkaylee

We all need to do better.

What would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Women Discuss the Nonsense They’re Still Expected to Put Up With appeared first on UberFacts.

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Misogynistic Things That Women Have to Deal With All the Time

The older I get, the more amazed I am at the sheer depths of the nonsense women still have to put up with in this world.

And a little trip to Reddit sure isn’t helping things.

women, what is something that women experience and is seen as “normal” but is actually very wrong/shouldn’t be as accepted as it is? from AskWomen

Here’s just a small sampling – there’s plenty more where this came from.

1. Relaxing too much around guy friends being interpreted as a signal.

One time I thought I was just hanging out with a guy outside of work. When he picked me up in the parking lot of our job he had a rose in his hand. I had never even hinted that I was interested or that our hang out was a freaking date!!

The worst part is that he went in for a kiss later and I had to tell him I wasn’t interested. It was awkward.

– ohshizzit

2. Medical ignorance.

The way the medical community seems to approach childbirth.

I’ve watched documentaries etc (no kids myself) and what really struck me is how patronising everyone was to these women who are going through perhaps the worst pain of their life, and how things like LITERALLY CUTTING THEIR GENITALS are seen as no big deal.

In what situation would you ever be able to cut a penis and shrug it off as nothing?! Madness.

– AirStoned

3. The work expectations.

I know way too many women who think it’s normal to have to do most of the housework and childcare, plus the mental and emotional load of household management, even if they also have an outside job.

Also to manage their husbands as if they are children who can’t be expected to remember to make appointments or buy their own clothes or things for the children or holidays or take care of menial tasks without reminders and help.

– FranzLuciferdinand

4. The boundary push.

Men pushing boundaries without consent during s**. “Accidentally” putting it in the wrong hole. Strangling. Hitting. Abusive misogynistic language.

Pretty much every woman I know has had a man do these things out of nowhere towards them and they are supposed to accept it because it’s “kinky” or something.

And now it’s literally 15 years old girls who are dealing with this trauma because of p**n normalizing it as something boys are supposed to do to women, its completely disgusting.

– OrangeyPanda

5. Having to be polite to creepy men.

I had a guy who wouldn’t take “I’m married “ for an answer. I even showed him my ring. He stopped me in the parking lot right in front of my car and wouldn’t let me leave until I gave him two hugs and agreed to go on a date with him.

Then when I unlocked my car and tried to get in he opened the car door for me. I was terrified.

I’ve never been back to that Starbucks because I agreed to meet him there the next day at the same time.

– [deleted user]

6. Uninvited comments.

That people think they have the right to comment on how a women looks or what she is wearing.

There have been way too many times where someone feels they need to point out my “physical flaws” just because, ex. acne, dark circles under my eyes, body/ facial hair, too pale, etc.

– mermaid_with_pants

7. “Don’t say no.”

When I was growing up, a family member had a band that would play around the area and we’d try to make it every time.

I enjoyed dancing. I would dance with my cousins or family members or family friends my age.

However, I was told I couldn’t say no if someone asked me to dance and that it was rude. This included creepy old men.

I can’t tell you how many times throughout my preteens/teens I had to bear through a song with an old man pushed up against me telling me I was pretty.

– anavocadotornado

8. The constant danger.

I’m in the UK, I love running but I pretty much can’t train past a few months as when my fiancé is home at 4:30pm it’s dark, I can’t run on our old railway path when it’s dark!

It’s annoying but normal to me now, but for a man? Yep run on your own at 5pm no worries

– UnderstandingCheap57

9. Putting up with too much.

Tolerating partners who drain your energy, put you down, and don’t put in effort to your relationship and/or household because you believe what you should be doing is trying to fix them or figure out how to make them behave.

Relationships ARE work and conflict is bound to happen, but I see so many women doing all of the work all the time and blaming themselves when their men don’t get better.

– ohdearsweetlord

10. Pregnancy being treated like an illness.

I feel like if men had to go through childbirth there would be more medical advancements in the field.

Also, women’s childbirth injuries are often never treated seriously because the child is prioritized.

Many never fully recover.

– purplesky23

11. Dealing with manbabies.

Ladies it is not normal to be with someone who argues with you, never cleans up after himself and expects you to do all of the housework.

It is mind boggling to me the amount of time I see women dealing with lazy manbabies on Reddit who can’t be bothered to treat them with respect, be empathetic and understand and can empty the dishwasher and do the dishes and clean up.

– Csherman92

12. Emotional burdens.

Having to carry the emotional burdens of children more than men because we are the “sensitive” and “emotional” ones. Like please, men have just as many emotions as we do, yet women are expected to do all the emotional lifting when it comes to raising children, we are expected to handle the tantrums and soothe the crying of children.

Like no, how about the man shows his son how its okay to talk in a soft voice and let them cry in their lap, like yes please, more of that, thank you.

– prettyxxreckless

13. The image problem.

Women are over s**ualized in everyday life and in media. I remember playing video games as a kid and internalizing a lot of harmful ideas of what a woman should be because the thread of constant non stop s**ualization was everywhere. Even as a child I would be creeped on by predatory men.

When I went online, it seemed p**n was everywhere and the vast majority of it is so disgusting in its portrayal of women. We are fantasy material and our pleasure is secondary to men’s, for some reason in p**n we all must get off on being jackhammered and degraded. I don’t doubt some of that can be s**y to women in the right context (respectful safe BDSM) but how often do you see the man focusing on her after his orgasm and providing aftercare? Why is normalized that we are constantly expected to be s**ually appealing and have our entire gender portrayed so fanservice-y at all times… It’s exhausting!

– filthy_kasual

14. Let people like things.

There is NOTHING a woman can like without being made fun of (and this is especially bad for teenage girls).

I remember hearing this question for the first time and I genuinely couldn’t think of something that I would be able to like without someone mocking me

– tiredseoul

15. The intrusive pass.

In public spaces, when men put their hands on you so they can pass by. It’s common in clubs and bars, but happens elsewhere, too.

Funny thing is, a guy can’t get past you without putting his hands on your waist.

But, he can navigate a wall of men totally touch free. So creepy and intrusive …

– RasSass_01

Take all that with you, fellow dudes. We gotta do better.

What would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Misogynistic Things That Women Have to Deal With All the Time appeared first on UberFacts.

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Fellas…We Need to Talk About These Tweets

Guys, we need to talk about some things.

We’re gettin’ called out on Twitter and rightfully so. Don’t take this as a time to get all defensive and rev up for a fight, just listen for a minute, maybe laugh along a bit, and let’s all just try to make the world slightly better, starting with us, eh?

Here are a few things that have been brought to our attention.

13. Decisions, decisions

Don’t get mad at the symptoms before you’ve taken a second to understand the disease.

12. Reverse!

Not everybody needs you to save them. Get that bread.

11. Across state lines

Ok but for serious tho.

10. It’s fine, period

Honestly guys, grow up. Yeah human bodies are weird as heck but we all got ’em.

9. “Boys will be boys”

This is a cause I firmly believe in.

8. Oh come on

Learn to find solutions for both of ya’ll.

7. Braided together

Don’t pull this on people who work for you, leave them be.

6. Mansplain

It’s all fun and games until you devastate yourself like this.

5. Passing the bar

Are we just belittling for fun?

4. The shame game

Just don’t.

3. The double standard

All jokes aside it’s really sickening.

2. Just talking

I dunno man, what were you saying before?

1. Very mature

I never heard either but I get it.

There we go. That wasn’t so bad, huh? Now let’s try to be decent people…. if that’s even possible.

What might you add to this list of observations?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Fellas…We Need to Talk About These Tweets appeared first on UberFacts.