Category: Lifestyle

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Tweets That You Really Don’t Wanna Miss

I don’t know how it happened, honestly, but somehow I managed to lock myself out of my Twitter account recently.

I can’t remember what series of events led to this self-sabotage. I’d changed the password, I’d forgotten it, I’d let Chrome pick a strong password for me but then I forgot to tell Chrome not to forget so we both forgot how to remember?

In any case, I found myself casually clicking over to Twitter before realizing “Oh man, this is gonna be like a whole thing,” but it’s a fight I fought. Why? Because good tweets are worth it, by gum. They’re worth it.

10. Catch up

This is a really weird version of the “evolution of man” diagram.

9. An ally of the light

Neat-o, which dialogue option do I choose for student debt relief?

8. Keep it up!

Speaking of which…

7. A horse of a different color

Samwise carries Frodo up the mountain (colorized.)

6. Analyze that

We have the same thing we just call them pundits now.

5. Prepare thyself

There’s really not a reason for everything.

4. Fun and games

I was aware of that, thank you.

3. The power grid

You mean a buff pancake?

2. TP or not TP

It’s my number two priority.

1. Look sharp

But what if I’m neither one?

Good thing I got my password debacle worked out. Can you imagine what my life would be like right now had I missed those bangers? Unthinkable.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.

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Wild First Date Stories You Need To Check Out

I’ve had a few interesting first dates before, but definitely none as wild as the ones that we’re about to read about here.

These make my first dates – and in fact all of my dating life taken as a whole – feel pretty tame and like perhaps I need to get out there and get a little more wild. Or maybe I don’t want to, because some of these sound pretty yikes.

Here are fifteen real first date stories submitted anonymously.

15. That’s permanent

What was the ink though?

Source: Whisper

14. Throw it up

Was this an illness situation or a “bottle flu” type situation?

Source: Whisper

13. Get right to it

Sounds like maybe you were both a little thirsty, huh?

Source: Whisper

12. A little drive

Well, that’s one way to do it.

Source: Whisper

11. The boob tube

I’m truly sorry about that title, I just couldn’t resist because I’m a child.

Source: Whisper

10. Keep Portland weird

Is this like, not illegal? Does Portland even HAVE laws?

Source: Whisper

9. Too far too fast

What are you, from medieval times or something?

Source: Whisper

8. Heading back

You just keep comin’ round here again.

Source: Whisper

7. Jump right in

Those memories will last you a lifetime.

Source: Whisper

6. The skinny

And how did it go? We must know more.

Source: Whisper

5. When ya know…

…ya know.

Source: Whisper

4. Double up

That seems like the least you could do for that poor guy.

Source: Whisper

3. What a trip

I literally cannot imagine being comfortable doing something like this.

Source: Whisper

2. Barf

There’s no recovering from that.

Source: Whisper

1. Best AND worst?

There’s so much more to this story.

Source: Whisper

Absolutely wild. I feel like I need a nap.

What’s your craziest first date story?

Tell us in the comments.

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Funny Memes You Have a Right to See, So Here They Are for You to See

I was speaking with a friend today about how she and I belong to the last generation to truly remember a pre-internet era. I mean, granted, the internet was *technically* a thing before we were born, but it was like, four computers in University labs or whatever sending each other text directories.

Now? It’s so huge and ubiquitous and so thoroughly integrated into every facet of modern life that we might well debate whether access to it should be considered a human right.

If for no other reason than that without the internet, you couldn’t look at memes like these. And that would be a travesty.

12. History lessons

It’s not a clean, straight line.

11. I sea what you did there

Part of the pack now.

10. Our ground

I mean, ya don’t gotta twist my arm.

9. The trouble bubble

You find yourself going “hey that’s actually kinda neat” before you notice the poop bucket and remember that kids need oxygen.

8. Look sharp

OK but I’ve got bad stats on both so what am I supposed to do?

7. Atheist manifesto

And what is unclean shall be made clean.

6. Think fast

I’m a Taco Bell, for sure.

5. Moonshot

Step aside, amatuers.

4. Out of order

Careful with your word placement.

3. Burn baby, burn

“Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”

2. Different perspectives

And now I’M going to hell for posting this meme.

1. End of ze world

Well, have a nap, THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!

I don’t wanna live in a world where we don’t have the basic human right to stare at memes like that.

What’s your favorite place to find new memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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People Discuss What’s It Like Having Super Strict Parents

I grew up in a family that I think a lot of people would describe as fairly strict.

It was one of those American Midwestern very very Christian in that extremely-offputting-from-an-outside-perspective kind of ways.

Looking back I have mixed feelings that I could fill pages and pages with, but I think it’ll be more interesting if we get some takes from multiple people who have been through the whole “strict parent” thing.

Here are ten real, anonymously submitted perspectives.

10. Authoritarian

It can be hard to get a sense of what freedom is.

Source: Whisper

9. A nice excuse

“Can’t, mom said no.”

Source: Whisper

8. It goes on and on

This is what happens when it’s less about nurture and more about power.

Source: Whisper

7. A matter of perspective

These are the cycles that have to first be recognized in order to be stopped.

Source: Whisper

6. Too much freedom?

You don’t wanna let them ruin themselves.

Source: Whisper

5. The lockdown

Who? What? When? Where? Why? How many? How come?

Source: Whisper

4. Better late than never

Parents, just know, eventually they’ll get access to the thing you forbid.

Source: Whisper

3. Nothing going on

I can feel the angst radiating off of this one.

Source: Whisper

2. Uninvolved

The pressure mounts and you just wanna go.

Source: Whisper

1. It all goes somewhere

Woof.

Source: Whisper

I don’t have all the answers on parenting (or…any of them), but we have to remember empathy and respect. Without it, all you breed is resentment.

What was your upbringing like?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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Lessons We Can All Learn from Memes

During my school days, I spent a lot of time looking at memes. I got scolded for it a lot. “You’re here to learn,” they’d say. “You can’t learn anything from memes.” But I disagreed then and I disagree now.

Here are fifteen lessons taken from randomly selected memes to prove my point.

15. Never give up

They HAD to have thought it was over.

Via: someecards

14. You are not alone

No matter what your thing is, it’s a bunch of other peoples’ thing too.

Via: someecards

13. You are what you eat

Look out for the warning signs early.

Via: someecards

12. Privacy is important

Your smashed up bumper is none of my concern.

Via: someecards

11. Get your eyes checked

Gotta keep that visual health up.

Via: someecards

10. Man is dog’s best friend

They say that couples start to look like each other over time.

Via: someecards

9. Looks can be deceiving

You are beauty and horror, together, at all times.

Via: someecards

8. You’re always too loud

Literally everyone can hear every word you’re saying.

Via: someecards

7. You gotta stay alert

Why does this sheep look like it wants to fight me?

Via: someecards

6. Multitasking is essential

Consuming calories while you burn them is a great way to feel pointlessly productive.

Via: someecards

5. Always come prepared

You never know when you’re in for a really hot time.

Via: someecards

4. People are the worst

Best to just avoid the lot of them.

Via: someecards

3. He’s been among us all along

Weird, cause in Infinity War, everybody else died for HIS sin.

Via: someecards

2. Your career path will bring many questions

Decisions, decisions.

Via: someecards

1. Keep it inside

You’re better off just screaming at your pillow.

Via: someecards

See? There are lessons all over the place. You just gotta look closely enough.

What’s the number one thing that memes have taught you?

Tell us in the comments.

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Fresh and Funny Tweets Just For You!

If you’re looking for some fresh, funny tweets, you’re in the right place.

Well done. You have excellent investigation skills. Let’s get down to it.

Here are fourteen funny tweets to satisfy your clicky-curiosity!

14. Oh, brother

I need clarifications on the ages of all the people in this story.

13. Research bowl earth

Surf’s up, soup’s up.

12. The gig economy

Learn how to monetize your baby TODAY!

11. Hard hitting reporting

I’d very much like to know what went wrong in the career of this person I’ve never heard of and don’t care about.

10. Judge not

I got into this job mostly for the little hammer.

9. The smolest boi

Are you just literally talking about those invisible dog leash gag gifts from the 70’s?

8. Living large

Just because I have nothing doesn’t mean I don’t have standards.

7. Roar right past

Weren’t we supposed to have the fun sinful part before paying for it?

6. The hard truth

They didn’t start that way, we just haven’t replaced them in 10 years.

5. Swear to God

If she was an Evangelical it was the greatest moment of her life, I promise.

4. Lunch goes on

I’m schooling at home and the food still all tastes like cardboard, somehow.

3. No chill

What do you have to do to get a little service around here?

2. Ya big baby

How the human race even made it this far is beyond me.

1. Artificial intelligence train-ing

Which of these squares DOES contain a stoplight? I thought I knew, but now…

Hope you enjoyed those, and we wish you the best in your future funny-tweet-finding endeavors. Good luck out there.

If you had to pick just three people who could keep using Twitter, who would they be?

Tell us in the comments.

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Delicious New Tweets For You to Enjoy

Do you sou smell that?

We’ve got some fresh out of the oven tweets for you here today. Home made and hot on the plate, just like Grandma used to make.

Savor each bite and enjoy these 14 new(ish) tweetly treats.

14. Let’s get physical

I looked at it for a solid 8 seconds before it clicked and now I feel stupid.

13. Attitude

A picture is worth at least a thousand words.

12. City slickers

Cool, so you know your way back out then?

11. At least you tried

Here, have some gym shorts for your face.

10. Growing older

Where’s all the wisdom that was supposed to come with this age?

9. Bottomless regret

That face when it’s noon and you’re already spent for the day.

8. Milky white

What we will and won’t put in our bodies is basically a crapshoot.

7. False dichotomy

Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

6. Quit your sass

Squidward is bitter because he knows in his heart he should have a better life.

5. Shut it down

Um, you sure? Cause I don’t think most states actually got the memo.

4. No peeping

If I need to write, delete, and repeat nine times before sending that’s my business.

3. Cat’s out of the bag

If you’re not about those felines how are you even living?

2. Let me get this straight

Is it weird that this is making me hungry?

1. Poor coverage

Well, I’m definitely getting mixed signals.

Absolutely deliciously delicious! Finally some good freakin’ internet food.

What do you go to Twitter for?

Tell us in the comments.

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Funny Tweets From People on the Struggle Bus

A philosopher once said, “Seek not perfection, seek only to live, for in living there – aw, dammit! I just spilled coffee all over my smock. My NEW smock. Dad was right, I’ll never make it as a philosopher. Stupid Carl. STUPID.” And you know what? He was right.

Here are tweets from ten people who are trying and failing and trying again.

10. Skin deep

Honestly even the fact that you’re talking about cleaning your room seems a little braggy to me.

9. High standards

When you realize that you may not be the catch you imagine yourself to be.

8. Don’t mind me

When you’re so in the moment you can’t smell your kitchen on fire.

7. Minimalism

I’m less concerned about the folding chair and more concerned about the two dozen paddles on the back wall.

6. Special delivery

I’ll bet he just ate all your fries and didn’t want to admit it.

5. This is just grate

How…how did you manage to get home like that?

4. The juice is loose

Gonna clean those things down to a pulp.

3. The pie goes on forever

Hey last time I checked you were my bank, not my mom.

2. Recipe for disaster

Honestly I thought the food might just be more impressive.

1. Shoe-less and clueless

At least you’re not stomping around trying to pretend your rights are being violated.

None of us has it fully together. And that’s ok. Just make sure to share your failures with others, because they’re usually really, really funny.

What’s been your biggest fail moment lately?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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Some Signs You Were Living Your Best Life in the 2010s

Trends may come and go, but the ones we encounter in our formative years are the ones that stick with us forever.

If you were coming up in the 2010’s and got into the Tumblr/Instagram scene, you might have fallen into one particular group of girls that’s hard to name but instantly recognizable.

Let us demonstrate what we mean. You know you’re in this group if…

15. You had this owl necklace

Where did it come from? Why was it everywhere? No one knows.

https://saynotothechickenmcnuggets-blog.tumblr.com/post/21435793587

14. You shared inspirational quotes on pictures of nature

How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real?

https://fantasiaando.tumblr.com/post/42040798717

13. You had (or posed with) a very old camera

And took a picture of it with a very new camera that actually worked.

https://hartxkiie-blog.tumblr.com/post/16673280309

12. You shared lots of flower pics

Hey, you gotta stop and smell ’em once in a while.

https://esthercarolineritiau.tumblr.com/post/39991041055

11. You broke lots of car safety laws

Get them gams for the grams.

https://http-tatumm.tumblr.com/post/101601911217

10. You had or desperately wanted an old typewriter

Surely THAT’S the only thing standing between me and writing that novel…

https://mypinkvalentine.tumblr.com/post/15645650013

9. You made all your stuff pink

It is Wednesday, my dudes.

https://memoriesand-pho-tos.tumblr.com/post/19531828349

8. Coffee was never just coffee

When you get so caffeinated you start seeing stars.

https://farrahpenn.tumblr.com/post/49265712434

7. You had very intricate nails

Which were chipped almost immediately.

https://hollywoodoverdose-blog-blog.tumblr.com/post/7181651921

6. Your Harry Potter house sort of defined you

Hey, it makes more sense than astrology.

https://continuousdystopia.tumblr.com/post/32286738140

5. You pulled off this look

Or tried your damndest.

https://letsbe-fashion-blog.tumblr.com/post/31366101987

4. You showed the world your Starbucks

It’s a compulsion. You just gotta.

https://if-she-could-breathe.tumblr.com/post/41389076461

3. You had at least one hand holding pic

Bonus points for the “follow me” pose.

https://rey-s.tumblr.com/post/19573043874

2. You photographed your stuff like you were Wes Anderson

Life is a beautiful diorama.

https://farrahpenn.tumblr.com/post/18869112937

1. You got into moustaches

Was it high art? Was it a big joke? There’s no way to know.

https://theglamorouschic-blog.tumblr.com/post/17317617756

Ah, memories. So very recent and yet worlds away. I wouldn’t mind the return of most of these trends, though I’m fairly happy we all stopped taking pictures of every cup of coffee we ever drank. What was up with that?

What will be your fondest 2010’s memory?

Tell us in the comments.

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This is How You Can Apply the Five Love Languages to Yourself

Writer Jessicah Pierre brought a lot of joy to people recently with her Twitter thread on the “love languages” and how we can apply them to ourselves.

The concept of the five basic love languages was first pioneered in the early 90’s by author and minister Gary Chapman. In his book The Five Love Languages, he outlined different ways that people prefer to show and receive affection.

It’s a framework that has dug its way into the culture as a helpful guide to recognize each others’ needs, but can it be applied to our day to day, even when we’re alone? Jessicah thinks so:

Here’s her rundown of each language and how you can apply them to yourself to improve your mental health.

1. Words of Affirmation

Talking to yourself isn’t crazy. It’s a totally normal way to process thoughts.

2. Acts of Service

You’d be surprised how much you might appreciate it if you help you out.

3. Quality Time

Don’t just rush around constantly.

4. Physical Touch

There’s an obvious NSFW answer here but this is good too.

5. Gifts

Treat yoself.

Basically:

When you lay it all out like that, it seems so simple. And yet, how often have any of us thought in these terms?

A very helpful reminder that we’ve already got a lot of the tools that we need to stay hearty and happy. Just gotta get ourselves to use them once in a while!

How do you take care of yourself?

Tell us in the comments.

The post This is How You Can Apply the Five Love Languages to Yourself appeared first on UberFacts.