Internet Can’t Stop Laughing at Guy Who Mistook His GF’s Thermometer for a Pregnancy Test

When Izaak Torres of Costa Mesa, California got a text saying “Holy fuck,” from his girlfriend at 4 a.m. in the morning with a photo of a thermometer, he was understandably confused. That confusion may just have led to the “Most Hilarious Mistake Ever.”

His girlfriend, Vanessa Marie, sent him the picture and the text because she was running a 100-degree fever (seen in the photo below).

“I said ‘holy fuck’ because I was so frustrated that it was 4 a.m. and I was dead tired, but I didn’t want to go back to sleep until my fever went down some more,” Vanessa told BuzzFeed News.

Izaak read the text when he woke up briefly at 7 a.m. and he FUH-LIPPED OUT.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Oh, sweetie.

“I didn’t get his text until I woke up around 11 a.m. and I just died laughing,” Vanessa said.

As for Izaak, he realized his own mistake a couple of hours later when he was fully awake. He says he “felt like a dumb ass” but tried to just keep it moving.

Photo Credit: BuzzFeed

Still, Vanessa had to share the screenshot on the internet, because who can miss an opportunity to clown their boyfriend in public?

And Izaak got clowned, alright. Roasted, even.

People pointed out that he must have interpreted the reading as “100% pregnant.”

Photo Credit: Twitter

Which means that if the number had been lower, he’d still have a chance!

Photo Credit: Twitter

This unborn baby just can’t make up its mind!

Photo Credit: Twitter

Or perhaps Izaak thought that his girlfriend was having 100 babies?

Photo Credit: Twitter

One hundred babies is a lot. Even 0.7 fewer babies would be better.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Either way, this dude clearly is not ready for a baby. Not even 50% of one, probably.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Which is really fine because neither is Vanessa.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Luckily the two of them are on the same page and still going strong as a couple. Hopefully, Vanessa is down to a normal temperature by now – 98.6% pregnant.

The post Internet Can’t Stop Laughing at Guy Who Mistook His GF’s Thermometer for a Pregnancy Test appeared first on UberFacts.

March 1, 2019

10+ Tumblr Stories to Entertain You for the Next Week or So

I freakin’ love Tumblr. For real, it’s pretty much the best place for everything.

Like stories. Tumblr has some of the best stories. I’ve been laughing at these for the past week or so, and I figured I’d share the love with you.

1. Confessions of a pizza driver…

Photo Credit: tybaar

2. Wait for it…

Photo Credit: smeliot

3. Grandparents are adorable.

Photo Credit: asunsetdream

Seriously tho, about that mac and chee….

4. I’m crying too tbh

Photo Credit: rearfront.com

5. This kid is goin places.

Photo Credit: lesbianshepard

6. The most powerful f*cking child in the universe.

Photo Credit: flapperwitch

7. OMG. LEGENDARY. (STEALING)

Photo Credit: avocado–toast

8. ‘I am afraid…’

Photo Credit: and-down-we-go

9. You can potty train a goat?? Oh…

Photo Credit: textpost-blog

10. Revenge is suh-WEET

Photo Credit: nogenderinthewasteland

11. Not-Jason is my kinda dude.

Photo Credit: coolmomsvevo

12. Ugh small talk is the worst

Photo Credit: mathed-potatoes

13. Well that escalated quickly.

Photo Credit: hermininy

14. ROBIN HOOD LIVES AMONG US

Photo Credit: thestirge

Well, it’s been grand. See you in a week when you come back for more…

The post 10+ Tumblr Stories to Entertain You for the Next Week or So appeared first on UberFacts.

February 28, 2019

10+ You’ve Definitely Thought About but Would Never Admit

I’ll admit it: I’m definitely guilty of having thought about most of these at least once. Then again, I’m a pretty open guy.

Most people, however, tend to keep their weirdness hidden away. These are the kinds of thoughts most of us would never admit to, because then people might see you in a different (and potentially negative) light.

1. Oooh stealing

Photo Credit: saint-psychopath.tumblr.com

2. Yarp

Photo Credit: ejacutastic.tumblr.com

3. Same

Photo Credit: snoia.tumblr.com

4. Me

Photo Credit: donnermaysilee.tumblr.com

5. A happy ending

Photo Credit: idontspeakmonkey.tumblr.com

6. GO ON…

Photo Credit: itsstuckyinmyhead.tumblr.com

7. Of course

Photo Credit: bottledminx.tumblr.com

8. Don’t we all

Photo Credit: miyuki-naruto.tumblr.com

9. Omg me too

Photo Credit: hellyeahfunnyshit.tumblr.com

10. Uhhh…

Photo Credit: batreaux.tumblr.com

11. YES YES I DO

Photo Credit: expressionedjuice.tumblr.com

12. Only every day

Photo Credit: baen-of-my-existence.tumblr.com

13. Really tho?

Photo Credit: ameliahensley.tumblr.com

14. Also me

Photo Credit: scotchtapeofficial.tumblr.com

I feel more empowered already! Let’s go do so many things with our new, shared, unstoppable knowledge!

The post 10+ You’ve Definitely Thought About but Would Never Admit appeared first on UberFacts.

February 28, 2019

Dictionary.com Wrecks Transphobic Celebrity Who Insisted “They” Can’t Be a Singular Pronoun

Generally speaking, you wouldn’t think that Dictionary.com had a particularly exciting presence online. I mean, sure, everyone knows to go visit them when they need a definition for a word, but I never thought I’d consider their Twitter account a must-follow, and yet here we are.

One reason I’d make such a recommendation? Well, let’s take what happened when notoriously controversial actor James Woods recently put out a not-so-subtly transphobic tweet about gender pronouns.

Woods essentially argued that “they” can only be used as a plural pronoun, and that using it as a singular pronoun is just an invention of “hare-brained liberals.”

Photo Credit: Twitter, James Woods

Well… it wasn’t long before Dictionary.com stepped in to drop some knowledge:

Photo Credit: Twitter

Boom!

This is hardly Dictionary.com’s first foray into the realm of trolling bigots. They’ve used their extensive knowledge of the English language to serve up tasty burns to all sorts of people. Like Vice President Mike Pence…

Photo Credit: Twitter

The word, by the way, is “sycophant.”

And of course, being the lovable language nerds that they are, they couldn’t let the president slide for his misspelling of the word “collusion.”

Photo Credit: Twitter

Generally speaking, any time the president needs to learn some new words, Dictionary.com is there with a helpful suggestion.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Dear Dictionary.com,

Please, never stop being who you are. Thanks.

The post Dictionary.com Wrecks Transphobic Celebrity Who Insisted “They” Can’t Be a Singular Pronoun appeared first on UberFacts.

February 23, 2019

If You’re a Nurse, These Memes Were Made For You

Nurses are some of the hardest working people in the world, and absolutely among the unsung heroes of our society. I’ve been fortunate enough to only ever have had one extended stay in a hospital (as a visitor, thankfully), and I can’t imagine how awful it would have been without the care and hard work that the nursing staff put in.

That’s why it’s so important for nurses to get a good laugh once in a while, which is where these memes come in.

1. Good night and good luck

Photo Credit: someecards

2. Tell me all about it

Photo Credit: someecards

3. And you look great!

Photo Credit: someecards

4. Now or never

Photo Credit: someecards

5. Uh huh…

Photo Credit: someecards

6. Hang on, I’m gonna puke

Photo Credit: someecards

7. Top of your game

Photo Credit: someecards

8. Does this work?

Photo Credit: someecards

9. Trust issues

Photo Credit: someecards

10. Avoid the sun

Photo Credit: someecards

11. Makes sense

Photo Credit: someecards

12. You sure about that?

Photo Credit: someecards

13. And now?

Photo Credit: someecards

14. Just like that

Photo Credit: someecards

15. You’re done

Photo Credit: someecards

16. You’re still alive, shut up

Photo Credit: someecards

17. And…done!

Photo Credit: someecards

18. Please never come back

Photo Credit: someecards

19. You got the touch

Photo Credit: someecards

20. The boss

Photo Credit: someecards

Let’s all give the nurses in our lives a high-five for all the hard work they do!

The post If You’re a Nurse, These Memes Were Made For You appeared first on UberFacts.

February 21, 2019

10+ Things That Mid-1990s Babies Will Instantly Remember

Ahhhhh, those were the days. I remember that era so well (even if I am a couple of years older than that generation. The mid-90s were a pretty wild time, and these photos brought all kinds of nostalgia to me.

1. Silly Bandz and Livestrong FTW

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. Cool tech!

Photo Credit: Amazon

3. You remember the early days of MySpace, Instagram, and Facebook

Photo Credit: Reddit

4. The dreaded overheads got REPLACED

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. Old tech

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Accessorize!

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. Fun on the computer

Photo Credit: Reddit

8. Neopets v Webkinz

Photo Credit: Reddit

9. Vintage games!

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. Early mp3 players

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. Quality Disney shows

Photo Credit: Disney

12. Bring it back!

Photo Credit: Twitter

13. Polyvore, anyone?

Photo Credit: Twitter

14. You could do both of these if you wanted to

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. Oh, LimeWire…

Photo Credit: Twitter

Do you remember?!?!

The post 10+ Things That Mid-1990s Babies Will Instantly Remember appeared first on UberFacts.

February 20, 2019

20 of the Greatest Tinder Profiles We’ve Ever Seen

You’ve gotta spend a LOT of time on dating apps before you find someone you’d actually consider meeting up with. On the other side of that, it also takes more effort than ever to get noticed and stand out from the crowd.

If you’re lucky, you’ll come across some folks like these with funny and unique profiles.