Tweets for Misanthropes to Enjoy…If That’s Possible

There’s a great word that I feel doesn’t get used enough despite ample opportunity and applicability. That word is “misanthrope,” and it’s defined thusly:

Mis•an•thrope – noun – a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society.

Pretty relatable right?

But it doesn’t stop there. You can toss it in as an adjective (“misanthropic”), an active noun (“misanthropy”), or even throw it around as an “ism,” (“misanthropism”).

You can do all of this to sound just a little more sophisticated while explaining to the people around you that you hate the people around you and want nothing to do with them. That is, if you’re anything like the folks who wrote these tweets.

10. Alone again, naturally

This has pretty much been me for the last year, I must confess.

9. Dog eat dog

Canines are infinitely better than humans.

8. What do you think you’re doing?

I’m gonna need way more information before I make even a verbal commitment, this might be a trap.

7. It’s no surprise to me

‘Cause every now and then I kick the living sh*t outta me.

6. Remember, remember

I see no reason the random light treason should ever be forgot.

5. Asked and answered

It’s a dangerous game that you’re playing.

4. Downright neighborly

The less they know of my existence the better.

3. Squad goals

Oh, I’m dead serious about that.

2. Back off

I’m sorry, do you know who I am?

1. Checking in

Yup, it’s still pretty stupid out here.

We misanthropes gotta stick together. But separately, because ew.

Would you define yourself as a people person? Why or why not?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tweets for Misanthropes to Enjoy…If That’s Possible appeared first on UberFacts.

Tweets For People Who Are Sick of Work

Let’s revisit the immortal words of Todd Rundgren:

“Take this, every day when I get home from work
I feel so frustrated the boss is a jerk,
And I get my sticks and go out to the shed,
And I pound on that drum like it was the boss’ head because
I don’t want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day.”

This lighthearted tune about an employer head trauma fantasy rings true with most of us, especially with the people who wrote these tweets.

Though I’d rather nobody bang on drums while I’m trying to relax. You can take that elsewhere, please.

10. Dead serious

Cool, cool cool cool, our society is broken.

9. Me time

How about mind your own business, Carol?

8. Tears in rain

Now THAT’S what I call freedom.

7. Code of conduct

Now I shall go to heaven.

6. Tow the line

It’s the delicate balance that binds us all together.

5. Growing accustomed

I don’t even need to see the rest of ya’ll.

4. See no evil

We’ve been speaking with our voices for millenia, we can just keep doing that.

3. The dream

Let me know if you figure it out.

2. Enthusiasm

I too have an inescapable guilt complex.

1. Many worries

Watch your language.

Nobody wants to work. But we gotta. At least we can all tweet about it!

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? What made them unique?

Tell us all about it in the comments.

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Memes For People Who Don’t Really Like People

Do you ever feel like you just don’t like people very much?

Do you ever have like, a few thousand of those days in a row?

Do you ever think that maybe it’s not the day’s fault, and that maybe it’s more a matter of you just genuinely not liking people because people suck a whole bunch?

Well, you’re not alone. Unfortunately. Let’s look at some memes about it.

15. Take a break

This is my home. I live here now.

Via: Someecards

14. True colors

Once you hit a certain age, why hide it?

Via: Someecards

13. Priorities

So say we all.

Via: Someecards

12. The corner

This is what we came here for, right? To anti-socialize?

Via: Someecards

11. Surrounded!

It’s like every place I look, there’s another.

Via: Someecards

10. Checking in

Yup, still pretty bogus out here.

Via: Someecards

9. Pick-me-up

Are you sure you’re not all just doing drugs?

Via: Someecards

8. Sorry not sorry

There have been some major overhauls recently.

Via: Someecards

7. Fitting in

Erm…careful what you wish for?

Via: Someecards

6. Nope

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Via: Someecards

5. Unwelcome mat

We really don’t need to go through this again.

Via: Someecards

4. Clarifications

See how that works?

Via: Someecards

3. Totally rad

Now stop asking.

Via: Someecards

2. The black book

A literary classic, but hard to get through.

Via: Someecards

1. Don’t worry

Well, that’s quite a relief.

Via: Someecards

I don’t know what all these people are here for, but I’m here for some good alone time away from them.

How much of an introvert do you consider yourself?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes For People Who Don’t Really Like People appeared first on UberFacts.

These Tweets Are the Best of the Best

Twitter, what would I do without you? Be productive? Do my work? Clean my apartment? Get back in contact with loved ones?

That all sounds lame. I’d much rather scroll endlessly through the strangeness scape that is Twitter. Especially now that they’ve sort of done some housecleaning of their own. Without the absolute worst bottom 5% of users or so, it’s all in all a much more pleasant place to be. It’s easier to find cool and funny tweets, like these ones here.

12. 101 demands

Also you might wanna just go ahead and organize some protests against the fur industry.

11. Dang libs

The bald hypocrisy and apathy is just absolutely stunning.

10. Among gus

It’s darker than you could possibly imagine.

9. How the cookie crumbles

You monster – that’s the most evil thing I can imagine.

8. What gives?

“I am so firing our travel agent.” – birds who still have travel agents, I guess.

7. Mind the gap

You know that’s how we do.

6. Incorporeal hotness

It’s a beauty that surpasses even my understanding.

5. Valentimes

Time to get involved in everybody’s business!

4. Level up!

Wake me when it’s time for the twos.

3. Babe?

This is it, this wins, the meme is over now.

2. Stay with me

You’ll never leave…not while I have anything to say about it.

1. In theory

You laugh but I’ve heard people really say crap like this.

I can’t imagine what I would do without Twitter, and I don’t have to, because it’s here.

Who are your favorite people to follow?

Tell us in the comments.

The post These Tweets Are the Best of the Best appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes That Are Pretty Much High Art

It’s been quite some time since I’ve been to a modern art museum, and sometimes I wonder just how modern the art has gotten.

I mean, they keep that stuff updated right? Is there a meme wing in any of those things yet? Are rich philanthropists throwing parties to have a hall of Spongebob reactions names after them?

If not, they should be. Because memes are the greatest art of a generation.

Here are twelve random pieces to prove it.

12. Too toasty

I’m going to go cry about something unrelated now, if you don’t mind.

11. Don’t call it a comeback

Gotta stay busy somehow.

10. Mano-a-mano

That’s video game logic for ya.

9. Security measures

I guess I appreciate it?

8. The battle within

I, too, melt when I get anxious.

7. The natural order

Ding dong, your ecology is gone.

6. Love stranding

Maybe this will finally make the game fun.

5. The Dr. Seuss will see you now

Stay away from the box, stay away from the fox, go to your house and lock up all the locks!

4. Home movies

This is the episode we desperately need.

3. Strength in numbers

I can hear it in my head now.

2. Well that sucks

But why? But why? But why? But why? But why? But-

1. Hi, welcome to chilies

Never underestimate our stupidity and pain tolerance.

Absolutely inspired. A true testament not just to the internet, but to art itself.

What kind of memes do you consider to be the highest art?

Tell us in the comments.

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Reasons Why People Still Hold Onto the Label of “Virgin”

When you think about it, what does virginity really mean, and why do we make such a huge deal out of it?

On the most basic level it’s a term to demarcate the time before you first had sex and after, but sex is a pretty normal part of life for most people. We don’t have a glossary of terms and labels for people who have or have not yet done other ordinary things, like ride a bike or swim in a pool or watch Die Hard.

Virginity is different though, at least in our heads, which is why some people would really rather hold onto the label.

13. Third time’s the charm

*Shrugs* you do you, I guess.

Source: Whisper

12. What’s old is new again

It’s about how it strikes ya.

Source: Whisper

11. What’s up with that?

Sounds like you’ve got a few hangups you need to explore.

Source: Whisper

10. I want it

This sort of pressure makes me feel sad for people.

Source: Whisper

9. Religious experience

Empowering act of faith or damaging artifact of cultural stigma?

Source: Whisper

8. Against my will

I think that’s completely understandable.

Source: Whisper

7. Take me back

I’d like to call a do-over, please.

Source: Whisper

6. Reset the clock

Not sure that’s how time works but whatever.

Source: Whisper

5. Revirginizing

That’s fine, but why does the wording even matter at this point?

Source: Whisper

4. Crank it up

Gonna need a little more.

Source: Whisper

3. True love waits

It’s everyone’s personal choice.

Source: Whisper

2. New again

That’s an incredible gift.

Source: Whisper

1. Real sex

Intimate, respectful, and loving.

Source: Whisper

At the end of the day, call yourself what you want. It’s all a construct anyway.

Do you consider yourself a virgin? Why or why not?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Reasons Why People Still Hold Onto the Label of “Virgin” appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes That Are Practically a Religious Experience

It’s been a little while since I’ve read the Bible, but if I remember correctly – and I don’t – there’s definitely maybe possibly something in there about memes.

Again, I might be getting stories mixed up but I could swear that at one point Jesus is like, in a group chat, and there’s only two memes that keep getting shared, but then he miraculously multiplies them into thousands of new memes for the disciples to feast on? And then Judas adds a bunch of watermarks?

Maybe that’s blasphemy, but you gotta understand, great memes like these are very nearly a religion to me.

10. Call and response

Honestly this has got to be one of the most unintuitive design choices by a major company ever.

Via: Someecards

9. Good mourning

It’s another beautiful day.

Via: Someecards

8. We live in a society

I’d be a people person if it weren’t for all the people and persons.

Via: Someecards

7. Doing my part

These 1’s and 0’s aren’t gonna manipulate themselves.

Via: Someecards

6. Couch potato

WHy doesn’t he look happy? He’s living the absolute dream.

Via: Someecards

5. Mystery wrapped in an enigma

It’s almost like describing ourselves in absolutes just doesn’t work.

Via: Someecards

4. Model citizen

They don’t even have real mouths but I can hear them saying “but daaaaad…”

Via: Someecards

3. The look

We all know what’s up.

Via: Someecards

2. Busy busy

If you’ve got time to lean, go for it.

Via: Someecards

1. The enclosure

Don’t talk to be before I’ve had my coffee. Or after.

Via: Someecards

And we beheld the mees, and we saw that they were good. Amen.

What’s your favorite place to find new memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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These Boyfriends All Have Bizarre Rules

There are exceptions, most of them being tongue-in-cheek jabs or exaggerations, but for the most part, any sentence that starts with “my boyfriend doesn’t let me…” is generally a red flag.

Maybe several decades ago in America it would be considered a norm for a man to call the shots in a relationship even to the point of being controlling and arbitrary, but we’ve got enough of a general cultural awareness of abuse and power dynamics now – not to mention good ol’ fashioned systemic misogyny – that we should all wince when we hear confessions like the ones gathered here.

11. Change your tone

Why, though?

Source: Whisper

10. Getting annoyed

That’s not great – you’re two different people.

Source: Whisper

9. Made up

That’s a level of insecurity that he needs to deal with, not you.

Source: Whisper

8. The outside world

Gross. Dump him.

Source: Whisper

7. The naked truth

Yeah, I’d say that’s an understatement.

Source: Whisper

6. Hate it / love him

Don’t be a prude, dude.

Source: Whisper

5. Wherever he wants

Classic double standard.

Source: Whisper

4. You’re fired

It’s a destructive habit, no doubt, but you’re an adult and that’s not how addiction is handled.

Source: Whisper

3. Hold in my tears

He probably just has no idea how to deal with it so he lashes out at you.

Source: Whisper

2. I still believe

That’s abuse, yo.

Source: Whisper

1. It’s a snap

Get outta there.

Source: Whisper

I can appreciate that it’s easy enough for you or I to read these and say “dump that chump,” but that it’s not always so simple for the people actually in these situations. Have patience, be understanding, and be on the lookout for those very red flags.

Have you experienced something like this?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post These Boyfriends All Have Bizarre Rules appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Times People Turned From Totally Cool To Total Zeros

Finding out that someone you’ve known a long time is living a disturbing other life can really shake you to your core.

It’s the kind of thing that stays with you and collects in corners of the internet like this Ask Reddit thread:

When did you realize that someone you were cool with your whole life was actually really messed up? from AskReddit

Fair warning, these stories include descriptions of drugs, violence, r*pe, and child abuse/sexualization.

1. “I tried to guilt trip her.”

I had a cousin a couple years older than me who was killed in a car accident in his mid twenties.

My younger sister didn’t want to go to the funeral, and I tried to guilt trip her because her excuse was that she was spending the weekend with her boyfriend.

A month after the funeral, she told me that our deceased cousin had molested her when she was younger.

– shoopvedoobop

2. “Always a little weird.”

This guy was always a little weird, but we got along well. And then on a break from college while I was at my parents’ house, his mug shot showed up on the local news as a person of interest in a child p*rnography case.

I still remember my dad asking, “Isn’t that a friend of yours?”

The next day I ran into a mutual friend who gave me a few revolting details about the case.

And then it was like all of the weird stuff from over the years immediately summed up in my head and I realized just how messed up the guy really was.

– elevenghosts

3. “I wasn’t until I had kids that I realized…”

When I was growing up, my parents became involved with Amway/MLM. They had noble intentions (to get money to spend time with us) but it backfired. They were so involved with it that they were gone four nights of the week, and we never took a vacation without them voluntarily spending time at meetings.

It wasn’t until I had kids that I realized how much of my childhood they’d missed. I also became so used to fixing/solving things by myself before anyone noticed that it ties my insides up when someone offers to help.

– dammagedone

4. “Those weren’t uncles.”

Friends mom was a crack addict. Not entirely unusual in my neighborhood TBH.

He always had different uncles coming in and out of the house though i never saw him talk to any.

Hit me hard later on that those weren’t uncles and mom was funding her habit.

– Salty_Orchid

5. “I wanted to go to bed.”

A childhood friend that came to hang out when a mutual friend of ours visited after living out of state for a couple of years.

He showed up clearly on something which wasn’t really all that usual but he started straight making up stories about his dad working for the Irish mob and he just would not leave when it was 2am and I wanted to go to bed.

I ended up having to get our mutual to physically put him in my car and drive him home so we could get some sleep.

– handcraftedcandy

6. “They cut off all contact.”

Not me, but my older siblings.

One of their closest friends suddenly ended up in prison, which was very concerning. Turns out it was because he was sexually abusing his daughter.

They all cut off all contact with him after that.

– kryaklysmic

7. “You aren’t mature for your age.”

When I was in high school I was also in theatre. I was 15 when I joined. There were 2 guys, one my age who was really nice, and one 18 year old who I at the time thought was nice as well.

Most of his friends were 15 year old girls and he was making weird sexual comments. I was naive and thought he was great (he was a good actor).

When he started trying to get me alone though, and trying to flirt with me, I got creeped out and took my distance. He later started dating a 14 year old, and he later r*ped and abused her. I am lucky I realized he was weird on time.

To any young girl reading this, a grown man being interested in you at that age isn’t okay. You aren’t mature for your age, he is a predator. Please don’t get into a relationship with him.

– AngryMouse567

8. “It was like I’d died.”

When I left for BMT, my three closest friends from high school came by my house and went through all my boxes I had packed. Jewelry, books, video games, clothes- they took everything they wanted. What started out as 10 boxes turned into 2 mostly empty ones.

It was like I’d died, and they divided up my sh*t. The things that hit hardest were my hardcover set of Harry Potter (read them all my my sisters) and the jewelry set (earrings, necklace, tennis bracelet) that I’d gotten from my grandparents before my Papa (grandpa) passed away. They weren’t expensive pieces of jewelry, but they were my birthstone, and highly sentimental.

They blamed the whole thing on my sisters for a while, then I confirmed with all my siblings that they didn’t have anything to do with my stuff going missing. Haven’t spoken to those “friends” in over a decade now.

– i_just_read_a_lot

9. “He was free until his trial.”

When the local paper ran a story about them for being found guilty of possessing child p*rnography.

We went to high school together. This guy was good friends with my best friend at the time, she had a child in the age range that he had pictures of.

He’d actually been charged with the crime months before any of us found out about it because he was free until his trial (when the story was run).

– Snoo4071

10. “I trusted my gut.”

Ex BF. We had dated for two-ish years. He was really sweet, super motivated to be a firefighter, and overall a really nice guy. Super goofy.

I went to college and ended up breaking it off because something didn’t feel right. He was being more secretive, more reserved. I thought it was the distance, us growing apart, what have you.

A few years later my best friend sends me a pic of my Ex’s mugshot. He had been convicted on charges related to child p*rn.

I’m glad I trusted my gut.

– GirlScout-DropOut

11. “The police went to his place.”

My parents had a pretty close friend since I was a child that lived a block away from our house and would often have us over for dinner, spend holidays with us, that sort of thing. He was/is an obgyn.

About two years ago we found out through local news that he r*ped a girl in his home office, apparently he would practice abortions there (as it was illegal in my country at the time) and r*pe them while they were unconscious.

The police went to his place and found a bunch of guns there too.

– f1orencia

12. “He ghosted me.”

I found my best from high school on Facebook recently.

At first he was glad to hear from me. He is 60 and I figured out he still lives with his mom.

When I asked what he’d been up to the last 40 years, he ghosted me.

– Bobdavis235

13. “Yuck.”

Not my whole life but I became friends with a guy from my new job, we’d get a beer sometimes and I had him over for a barbecue a few times.

A few months later he got arrested for punching a girl and it became a pretty big local story.

In the process of being prosecuted a bunch of other girls (like about 10 or so) came forward saying he had threatened them. A girl he had dated briefly said he had given her some serious bruises while having sex. They also found a huge collection of upskirt photos an all the equipment he used to take them.

He had been expelled from high school for pulling up girls skirts.

Yuck.

– picksandchooses

14. “Currently trying to fix my life.”

At the end of last year I realized how many times my mom has meddled in my life when she thought I wasn’t going the way she thought it would.

Someone I was really interested in in my early twenties, she talked them out of ME while I wasn’t around. She was a really sweet person and I liked her a lot. Instead, I ended up with a psycho who left after our daughter was born.

That is just ONE instance out of many times my mother used intense manipulation on a person (usually me) to f*ck up my life because it wasn’t going the way she thought it should go. And she still has no idea she’s done anything wrong. Currently trying to fix my life from the last time she meddled in it. It’s not been good, but I’m almost through this mess.

– Meat_Sarcasm_Guy

15. “They stole a booster seat.”

They stole a booster seat from a restaurant and kept it as a trophy because they thought they didn’t get polite service.

No kids, plenty of money, educated; they just wanted to “hurt” the restaurant.

– crosleyxj

I know it’s far from the heaviest story, but I can’t get over that last one. Of all the Karens in all the world…

Do you have a tale like this?

Share it with us in the comments.

The post 15 Times People Turned From Totally Cool To Total Zeros appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes to Help You Break Free From Boredom

Do you need to break free, but you can’t and that’s why you’re staring at a screen at this very moment?

Well what if I told you that you could break free THROUGH that screen to a land of wonder!

I mean, don’t literally break your screen. If you did already, we’re not liable for that, you really should get a fuller context on things before you act so aggressively. All we meant is that we’ve got some memes, and memes are a sort of freedom. That’s why “meme” rhymes with “free.”

What do you mean it doesn’t?

Well, it should.

15. Pile on

Naturally occuring Keanus are simply beautiful.

Via: Someecards

14. Again again

RIP the only thing in a bunch of people’s Netflix lists.

Via: Someecards

13. I do

“I understand, much to my horror, that the couple have written their own vows.”

Via: Someecards

12. I swear

I learned it from watching you!

Via: Someecards

11. Payday

Lol like any of us are ever gonna know.

Via: Someecards

10. Biting back

If I fits, I turns into defensive fort.

Via: Someecards

9. The blessed snoot

Boop me father, for I am cutes.

Via: Someecards

8. What big eyes you have

It’s cool that we all accept the talking wolf but draw the line at ineffective disguises.

Via: Someecards

7. Keep up

I’m not the boss of me.

Via: Someecards

6. Any other

This is very much me, I’m not even sure how old I am at this point.

Via: Someecards

5. Surprise cuisine

Those little guys are really going places.

Via: Someecards

4. Can’t cut it

Yeah, well, we also get to live like four times longer now, so, I’ll take it.

Via: Someecards

3. Level up

Maybe his ways aren’t so much mysterious as they are just ill-thought out?

Via: Someecards

2. Try, try again

Dang girl, fine, stay in bed then.

Via: Someecards

1. The gift of gab

This is going well already.

Via: Someecards

I certainly feel more free now.

What are your favorite kinds of memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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