Bad Cooks Share Some Real Bad Cooking Stories

Cooking is pretty hard.

One time I burnt Ramen noodles. I would go into the details but my insurance company has me on a gag order. They said Ramen isn’t supposed to go into a molten state like that. The authorities were called, biochemical weapon sanctions were placed. It was a weird afternoon.

These “cooks” are on much the same skill level. Read their full confessions of debauchery below.

1. Third time’s a charm.

And every time a mitt burns a shrimp a get its wings… That was funnier in my head.

2. Haircut on a budget

I used to do the same thing in college to save money. I mean the hair, not the ramen. I used a Flowbee. It was magical.

3. Nothing like a fluffy, yummy fish cake from the pan.

Syrup, please?

4. The Greening

I’ve had worse. I have had better… Would still eat. Happy Thankspatty Day

5. Thicc as a juicy ham.

Eggs and bacon served on a bun. 86 coffee, tho.

6. “Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?”

Hard as boiled.

7. The chocolate chips do bear a resemblance.

Doc told me to lay off the sodium.

8. The Gordon Bombrownie.

I made a Mighty Ducks reference because hockey. Fiskey!

9. Care for another egg…in these even more trying times?

Does water burn? Yeah?

10.   Fryin’ up a baking dish.

They don’t rewarm well.

11. Toaster>Towel

If you can’t take the heat get out the toaster.

12. Rice and water makes delicious rice

Rice and no water makes functional charcoal.

Any bad cooks gone worse reading this? Any horrible stories you want to share?

Do that in the comments, fam!

Thanks!

The post Bad Cooks Share Some Real Bad Cooking Stories appeared first on UberFacts.

Pilots Discuss What They Wish They Could Tell Passengers

Being a pilot is not easy and it comes with a ton of pressure to keep everyone on board safe and comfortable.

I’ve been on enough plane rides to know that the seatbelt sign is on for a reason. I’ve found turbulence can pretty uncomfortable and usually a few passengers voice their displeasure when it happens. Unfortunately, turbulence isn’t the only thing pilots have to worry about.

Pilots are human beings like us and they think of lots of things in addition to lifting off, flying and landing.

Here are 13 confessions from pilots they wish people knew but will never share.

1. Taking off brings out their inner child

You would say it, too.

I love to watch the skyline tilt as the plane ascends. It makes me feel like I’m a kid on my way to Disney World again!

Source: Whisper

2. Prankster

That’ll keep ’em awake. Unfortunately none of my pilots have cracked jokes over the AV system.

Source: Whisper

3. Not immune to fear

Facing their fears every day. Inspiring!

I don’t think I could do this job. I enjoy flying, but I’m not good with heights.

Source: Whisper

4. Sleepy head

A passenger seat is better for a cat nap.

I’ve never seen a pilot asleep in the cabin, but if I was a pilot, I think I would consider doing it.

I’m nocturnal, so it could happen!

Source: Whisper

5. Not perfect

Hey, it’s a lot to memorize! There are so many things to remember and manage. It’s remarkable.

Source: Whisper

6. The sky is their playground

But they’ll put the seatbelt sign on, at least. Thank goodness none of my pilots ever did this.

The image of the heart is on point because mine would be out of my chest!

Source: Whisper

7.  A hero

We’d all want to brag about it, to be honest.

All of my flights have been flown by very professional, skilled pilots, which means flying hasn’t exactly exciting.

I don’t have a wild personal story about a heroic pilot, but I treasure feeling safe.

Source: Whisper

8. Wow

So it’s not just in the movies, then.

I really hope this isn’t common among pilots. It disturbs me that it happens at all.

Source: Whisper

9. Sleep-Deprived

Not exactly a comforting thing to read. I’m going to be thinking about this the next time I’m on a plane. (Shudders)

Source: Whisper

10. No room for illness

The stakes are high. I can’t imagine how stressful it would be to wonder if your health or a perceived health issue could end your career.

Source: Whisper

11. A Power Trip

Well that’s one way to pass the time…

I loved to pull stunts like this as a kid when I was bored, but as an adult at work? I’m not sure.

Caption: Whisper

12. They pay a price for a career in the sky

That’s so sad. Poor kid. I would have missed my dad so much if he was absent this much.

Source: Whisper

13. Their thoughts can be darker than an overnight flight

Horror movie material. I hope pilots are evaluated for problematic thoughts.

Source: Whisper

Next time I get on the plane I’m definitely going to wonder what my pilots have gone through in their careers and I’m grateful all of my flights have been uneventful — not even any screaming children!

I will make a point to thank my pilots on my next flight — whenever that will be.

Has your pilot ever shared any stories with the passengers about life in the skies?

Leave us a comment.

The post Pilots Discuss What They Wish They Could Tell Passengers appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the Reasons They Leave Their Engagement Rings at Home

Most of us have been there. Your ring is too loose, too tight, too… something. Or maybe it just doesn’t match your other jewelry.

Here are some of the ten crazy reasons why women choose to leave the bling behind.

1. Sometimes you just forget

But honestly, watch out if you do! You might start to regret it.

Image credit: Whisper

2. All that shine can be a little blinding

But that’s okay, because who doesn’t love shiny?
Just pair your ring with sunglasses, and you’ll be fine.

Image credit: Whisper

3. All dolled up with nowhere to go

Jewelry is like pants. If you’re not going out, who needs ’em?

Image credit: Whisper

4. It’s only a symbol

Isn’t it more evolved to be above all that?
The ring won’t get you through the tough times.

Image credit: Whisper

5. But it’s a symbol of him

In other words, he better be worth it.
Otherwise, it might be a symbol that you should give it back.

Image credit: Whisper

6. Cheap, or just hypersensitive?

But seriously though, if the ring gives you a rash, did it come from a vending machine?
Don’t get mad. Buy better jewelry!

Image credit: Whisper

7. Enough is enough

And two rings is just one too many sometimes.
After all, no one likes a showoff.

Image credit: Whisper

8. It’s not that weird

We all take things off in our sleep. Right?

Image credit: Whisper

9. Maybe she learned the hard way

Comfort is key.
Take it off while you’re awake… so that you don’t take it off when you’re not.

Image credit: Whisper

10. Ladies gotta do what we gotta do

When it’s ugly, and you just can’t tell him… maybe it’s time to “lose” it?

Image credit: Whisper

These are all completely understandable reasons to leave the rock at home.

Personally, I haven’t worn mine since the start of the pandemic. Too much hand-washing for that business.

What about you? Do you still wear your engagement ring? Be sure to share why or why not in the comments.

The post People Talk About the Reasons They Leave Their Engagement Rings at Home appeared first on UberFacts.

A Person Wants to Know if They’re a Jerk for Messing With Their Ex and His Assistant

It kind of blows my mind sometimes when people talk about how much time they have to mess with people…

Why aren’t you people working?!?!

But that’s another story…

This story comes to us from Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole?” page and is pretty interesting…

Let’s take a look at what happened and how people on Reddit responded to this situation.

AITA for screwing with my ex and his assistant?

“My ex’s assistant has disliked me since she started working for him. I have to stay in touch with my ex because we have a 9-month-old together.

His schedule changes a lot so his assistant is supposed to let me know if there’s a change which will mean he can’t use his visitations and if he wants to reschedule the time.

She’s started “accidentally” sending me his personal things. If he’s making dinner arrangements with his current flavour of the week, she “accidentally” sends it to me asking to confirm when it’s meant for someone else. She “accidentally” got two gifts mixed up, so she ended up sending me/our baby lingerie. There have been other things, but you get the idea.

Last Tuesday, she “accidentally” called me whilst my ex was having a pretty sexual conversation with his best friend in which I came up an uncomfortable number of times. It was muffled but I heard way more than I wanted to.

In the past, I would complain to my ex, but he always laughs her mistakes off and promises he’ll have a word with her, but she keeps doing it.

I was supposed to see my ex last Friday, but I was kind of annoyed with him, so I decided to screw with his assistant and him. I called her and told her he couldn’t come on Friday because I had a date. On Friday, I called him when he didn’t show and asked him why he didn’t come.

He ended up coming over later than he was supposed to, and he was sulking the whole time and kept complaining that he thought I was going on a date and he’d need to have a word with his assistant about making mistakes because he had to cancel “important” plans to come over last minute.

I did end up telling him the truth after our son went to sleep and I confronted him about what he said. He denied it but then got angry at me for wasting his time and making him miss time with his son. He said I was being petty over small mistakes.

I told my best friend what I did, and she said I was an AH because his assistant could get fired over this and I shouldn’t have told him about hearing the call.

I do feel kind of bad now but I’m really sick of her making mistakes when it comes to me and getting away with it.

So, [am I the a-hole]?”

Here’s how people responded.

This person said that she is not in the wrong in this situation.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person thought the whole thing stunk of immaturity and pettiness.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another person also argued that she was not the *sshole in this situation and that she needs to be very deliberate with keeping records about this whole situation.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, this person said (and I agree) that everyone involved in this situation kind of sucks and they’re all playing immature games.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Do you think this person is a jerk?

Or is this whole thing really no big deal?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments. Thanks!

The post A Person Wants to Know if They’re a Jerk for Messing With Their Ex and His Assistant appeared first on UberFacts.

Treasures and Horrors That Garbage Collectors Have Found

People throw away all kinds of stuff, for reasons that only they can possibly know. Some of them are treasures no matter who you are. Some things are treasures to certain people, trash to others. Some things are just plain trash, and a very few are horrors that literally no one wants to see.

These 15 people have found all manner of things in the trash, and lucky for all of us, they’re here to give us all the dirty details.

15. This is such a great story.

My father was a garbage man when I was born. I don’t remember because I was like 3 months old. But my first dog was in the trash. My dad stopped. Picked up a box and heard some shuffling on the inside and there were two puppies. My dad kept one and the driver kept the other. They were brother and sister (my dad assumed). He kept the male and named him Jasper.

He was literally my best friend growing up. I had him for 13 years and my dad tells me the job was worth it just for that dog. He called the police and animal control on the residence but doesn’t know what happened after that. All I know is I’m 37 and still love that dog so much. I’m so thankful my dad saved him and his sister.

14. Must have been a popular item.

I worked in the scrap metal business and have found not one, but two of three exact same bread statue, of two bears screwing each other

***BRASS statue, my bad

13. Just needs a little elbow grease.

Not a garbage person, but I live in a large apartment complex. I could have furnished multiple apartments with all the stuff that gets thrown out here (and partially furnished mine), but the best thing I’ve seen in the pile was one of those grandfather clocks you can make from a kit.

Still looked very nice, but it needed some fixing to get it to run again. I’m still waiting to find a piano (I would like a piano).

12. That’s quite a deal.

Found a 55 inch tv next to the dumpster 4 years ago. It was missing 1 hdmi port on the side. It looked like someone might have tripped and ripped it out.

Anyway, I opened it up googled the motherboard serial number and found a brand new replacement for like $60 less then 25min away….needless to say I called ahead on my day off picked it up and it works like a charm. Still use the tv to this day.

55in Sony 2012 lcd tv. I have chromecast with google tv hooked up to it now and it’s awesome.

11. Man that’s rough.

My uncle was (still is?) a garbage man and found a fully boxed Power Rangers Megazord toy. I don’t remember which season or what but it had been previously opened and all of the parts and such were still inside.

I don’t remember if they sold it off or what but it was super cool to see.

A part of me feels like maybe a collector tossed their boxes away and mistakenly threw the whole figure with it or some kid’s parents ditched it while cleaning up after a birthday or Christmas. I don’t know but feels bad.

10. I can’t honestly even imagine what this looks like?

I’m not a garbage man, but I once scored a whole custom built staircase from a dumpster. It was in perfect condition but apparently built to the wrong spec. It worked great for my barn.

9. There are some cool perks.

I worked as a showcleaner in Melbourne a few years ago and we would sometimes get leftovers from shows and fairs and other events. For example after a Coffee Fair we got hundreds of cases of all sorts of plant based milk. They were still on the pallets and the trader didn’t want to load them back up. At a beer and wine fair the same happened, but with wine and craft beer. We had quite a few parties “sponsored” from that one.

Then there was this one big concert where a huge storm hit and everyone left everything they had brought behind to hide in their cars and leave. We found camping furniture and lots of closed beverages and food. One coworker even found a bunch of bundled up cash, which amounted to a couple hundred bucks. And, since it was a concert of a band a lot of older people listened to, we found coke, handed it over to the authorities and later were told it was enough to buy a small car from the market value it represented.

But the coolest thing that happened at one of the shows was not something we found. There was a big classic car event at the show grounds and it had some of the finest and rarest cars you could imagine. At the end, we were cleaning as usual, and this guy comes up saying he saw us during the shows checking out some of the cars. At first I thought he’d berate us, because we were just the cleaners and should focus on the job. But then he invites us to ride along if we wanted to. So that was the time I got a childhood dream fulfilled and was allowed to drive in a ’69 Dodge Charger R/T.

This experience and the fact that we got to go backstage with some of the coolest bands was the big plus of an otherwise hard and dirty job.

8. A magical childhood.

My father was a garbage man who also did clean-outs for homes and businesses, where they’d rip apart the entire building and throw everything out in their dumpsters. He worked on a ton of really massive houses, some worth 10s of millions of dollars, one was worth 40 million and wasn’t even the permanent residence.

Best things I got as a kid: A pretty much unused trampoline with a net and everything.

A go-kart that my dads friend was able to fix up and we used all the time (I live on a dead end).

And once he cleaned out a deli that was closing down, and we no joke had unlimited Snapples and Sodas of every flavor for almost a year. I’d drink the Snapples while out on the trampoline. I used the hell out of all 3 of those things in my childhood

7. That’s quite a haul!

Finally something I can contribute too! I do trash at apartments. In the year I’ve worked the job, I’ve found and kept:

-a couch

-2 desk chairs

-a floor lamp

-deck furniture

-a TV stand

-my cat

-various decorations I’ve given to my mom

Some things I’ve sold

-a bike, $40

-some outdoor vases, $30

-a bed frame, $50

-an original xbox with at least 80 games all in a box, $20 (to my friend that collects old video games)

But yeah, it’s crazy what people throw away.

6. This is hilarious.

I was a garbage man for a few years, and on these trucks it had a grapple arm that come out off the side of the truck and grabs the bin, lifts and dumps it.

There are three cameras on the truck, two to see the bin and hep you line up and grab ahold of it and then switches to another camera view as you dump the bin out and you can see the trash fall out.

Well one day I’m doing my run, grab a trash bin, pick it up, dump it and out falls a bunch of mannequin parts! I nearly sh%t myself thinking a serial killer dismembered somebody and put them in the trash

5. The stories they have.

Oh man, my time to shine! I’ve been working at a waste transfer station (“garbage dump”) for many years.

The worst I’ve seen (just garbage, not counting stuff brought to the hazmat department):

A freezer stuffed with a skinned, rotting, headless deer carcass. We nearly called the cops before we realized it wasn’t human. Used needles. The worst being a tie between “porcupine couch” and the lady who literally handed me a paper bag full of syringes she found during a park cleanup. large container of old crystallized picric acid. Bomb squad had to deal with that one.

The best:

A high end laptop in perfect condition except for a tiny crack on the lcd panel. Easy DIY repair that took $40 and 5 minutes, thing would’ve cost $1.5K new
enough brand new furniture to literally furnish my whole apartment a high end military grade inflatable boat, brand new

The weirdest:

A 1st gen platelet counting machine, complete with weird tubes of bright green liquid and mercury. When I was prepping it for hazmat disposal I had to call the company that bought the company that made it for some info… they never digitized the records but the oldest repair tech still working was super excited because he remembered servicing them 50 years ago.
coffin. No body, just the coffin. Couldn’t see anything wrong with it either.

Buckets of testicles (from a ranch) that had been sitting out in the summer heat for a week. Smelled so bad my coworker hurled. That’s not the weird part… the weird part is the guys wanted their buckets back. Do you know how bad it has to smell to make a garbage collector puke? And they wanted them back?!

The $10k duffel bag. Lady came in super upset because earlier she threw out a duffel bag that she didn’t know her boyfriend kept cash in. Over $10,000 in cash. We never found the bag.
16 full size barrels of old vegetable grease some guy had saved up in his garage. He was planning to make a biodiesel car or something

4. Odds and ends, bits and bobs.

We sometimes have to do house clearances at work (dead people with no family and the house is to be sold).

Lot of the time stuff isn’t worth the time it takes to sell it so we get to keep stuff that’s gonna be thrown out, I’ve gotten so much fabric, embroidery thread, all sorts of sewing/dress making materials, I will never have to buy another buttons in my lifetime, I like to think the old ladies it used to belong to would be glad to know it was gonna be used.

3. Small town America.

Grew up a small town so everyone knew everyone. Our garbage man (Lee) would regularly cull out items for us because he knew my dad would tinker on them. Lee gave me my first bike, which only needed to be painted, and so so many books.

He passed a few years ago. When I saw the notice I called up my sister and we had a bit of a nostalgic cry about what a nice man he was to us kids.

2. That’s a nice payday.

Not me but my brother. Someone apparently threw out grandpas stuff from the attic after he passed away. This was the last scheduled pickup at the house and everything was already moved out, nobody living there.

Driving an automated (claw to grab and dump) truck, my brother was irritated there were these 2 bowling bags he had to get out to throw in the truck. He realized they seemed a bit heavy, so he opened them to see why.

Inside there was real silver silverware/flatware. He ended up selling it for scrap prices to a jeweler and got $3000.

1. “Rescued.” I like it.

Not a garbage man, but have rescued projectors, computers, furniture and even a very expensive Yahama keyboard (just needed a new plug) from skips / being thrown out. Loads of music scores. A dining room table with nothing wrong with it.

I may be just about to get a 65″ touchscreen TV that’s no longer touchscreen, too, depends on what happens to it over the next few days.

Large companies throw all sorts away and they’re far more focused on “I just need to get rid of this” than spending the time to find someone to take it.

By the same token, I’ve also binned about 20 fully working interactive whiteboards because I couldn’t get anyone interested in taking them.

P.S. Yes, I sought permission before taking any of the above. If I just took whatever I saw, I’d have even more stuff.

I will never understand some people, but maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

If you’ve found something weird or interesting or amazing in the garbage, tell us about it in the comments!

The post Treasures and Horrors That Garbage Collectors Have Found appeared first on UberFacts.

Amazing Recovery Stories About Patients That Therapists Were Sure Wouldn’t Get There

There are upsides and downsides to every job out there.

That said, some have got to just be more emotionally tough than others. Take, for example, being a therapist (especially to children) – you listen to people in the worst states of their lives, and then let them walk out the door at the end of the hour, into the world that has broken them over and over again.

Success stories are probably relative, and maybe not measured exactly in that way, but these 12 therapists had glimpses of moments that must make all the rest of it worth it.

12. That’s one great day.

I worked on an outreach team that helped homeless folks off the streets. Found a guy downtown one day that was a classic schizophrenic. Word salad, things tied around his arms and legs, the whole 9 yards. Spent a few weeks buying him lunch and building a relationship with him.

He eventually let me move him into a hotel room and take him to a doctor. Got a shot from one of our doctors and started doing better. I transferred him to a longer term care team and went on with my life. Years later I was doing a homeless count for the city and boom, there he was standing in front of me. Clean, well spoken, happy.

He introduced me to his cousin. I’ll never forget it. “Damn Robert, this is the guy who helped you get off the street? You saved his life man. My family can’t thank you enough.”

One of the best moments of my life.

11. What keeps you going.

Psychiatrist here:

I used to do sessions at a government run long-term psychiatric hospital. Where I am a patient can only stay in a psych hospital for 3 months max, & if they didn’t get better we had to transfer them to the long-term hospital, So, the people who ended up here already had very poor prognoses to start off with, and to add to that they were all there on an involuntary basis, so co-operation was an ongoing battle. Very few are ever successfully discharged back into the community. There is a gross shortage of resources and the place itself looks pretty bleak, but we did all we could within our limited means.

I have had a few successes with patients here over the years, which you kind of hold on to in order to remind yourself that there’s always hope.

One lady I recall had been admitted via the courts after vandalizing a colleagues car that she believed had been using witchcraft against her. After being admitted and treated at the regular psych hospital, she was diagnosed with treatment resistant schizophrenia, which is probably one of the worst case scenarios in psychiatry.

Once she arrived at the long-term facility, I started treatment with probably the only drug we have for treatment-resistant schizophrenia. This drug is basically our last “big-bomb” for schizophrenia, but is not a pleasant one to have to use with a patient. It has a lot of serious side effects, requires blood to be drawn every week for 18 weeks (& then monthly for the rest of the time you’re on it, which is generally life-long in schizophrenia) and most frustratingly there is no injectable formulation, so patients need to take it willingly everyday which is a real uphill battle for involuntary patients that lack insight (lack of insight being part of schizophrenia as well, so you can imagine how challenging that can get). If they refuse more than 2 days worth of meds, the whole 18week initial phase needs to be restarted from scratch.

This patient was extremely paranoid and very hostile towards treatment in general. Every time I saw her she would get aggressive, argue with everything, and refused the meds on several occasions, necessitating a restart every time. She was one of the most challenging patients I have had to deal with, and honestly I didn’t hold out much hope for her. But, we just kept on trying, worked through every aggressive episode and tried to at least keep things steady enough so that she wouldn’t deteriorate any further.

After two years, things slowly started to change for her. She started taking the meds regularly and we had noted small incremental improvements. Despite this, her prognosis was still poor and I was just hoping to improve her overall level of functioning in any way I could.

Then one day when she walked into my office, she looked like an entirely different person. Her grooming and self care were definitely better – she had done her hair, wore earrings and actually smiled at me… all for the first time since being admitted to the hospital. To say I was thrilled at her progress would be an understatement, I was flabbergasted really.

Having gone back to her almost normal self, she was a pleasant, articulate lady with a wicked sense of humor. After that, we did a lot of work on her insight & helping her make sense of what had happened to her and understanding the medications she would need to take for the rest of her life.

After about 3 years, she was discharged home and resumed her previous occupation of being a high school teacher. Last I heard from her she was till doing well and even became a grandmother. Sadly, I no longer work at that hospital so I have since lost touch with her, but her story stays with me every time I see a “hopeless” case. It’s the starfish analogy for me, and although my job can be emotionally draining & frustrating, every now and again you get to make a life-changing difference for someone, and that keeps me going.

10. That’s all they want to hear.

I had a client who was a Senior at a highschool I was contracted at. I got him the day after he had been released from the ER for a Suicide attempt. He was smart and his plan was well executed, painless to being a diabetic. He had his method of suicide literally on him 24/7. He had second thoughts.

He was a wreck, paranoid, didn’t want to live. Are one point I had to have him involuntarily committed by the police because he could not garuntee me he could keep himself safe and his parents really couldn’t either. I hated to do it. I had no other choice though.

Every week we met. He was intense, angry and paranoid. His parents were Asian immigrants and were woefully under prepared for dealing with and understanding the extent of his mental health issues. We went on a regiment of Cognitive behavioral therapy for 6 months. He went all in, did every price of homework I gave him and utilized it. By the end of the 6 months he graduated and was accepted to NYU and prepping to attend in fall.

The last day we met I asked about his experience in therapy and to reflect on his journey. He ended by saying. ” I’m glad I didn’t kill myself”. Don’t know where he is but I hope he is doing amazing.

9. Sometimes experiments work out for the best.

I work with veterans who have had traumatic brain Injuries a lot of whom additionally have some combination of ptsd anxiety and depression. One of our most recent patients was a graduate student before deciding to enlist in 2011 to fight isis. He came back unable to walk and unable to read and remember things properly as a result of the damage to his brain.

He could no longer focus in classes, and was severely depressed which lead to him not able to finish his PhD. We do an experimental 10 days brain stimulation treatment combined with vision and working memory therapy and after his 10 days the changes were astounding.

He feels motivated again, there was an improvement of almost 100% on every cognitive and executive function task as well as improvements to his vision/reading/focusing ability. He signed up for classes at the community college here and is hopeful he can finish his PhD in geology and get his life back on track. I’ve never seen such a dramatic improvement before and it made all the difference in the direction of his life. Reminds me why I do what I do.

8. They just keep showing up.

I had barely graduated and was working in the public sector as a clinical psychologist. One day a 47 yo woman arrived. The patient was experiencing depression and had told me that in another episode she couldn’t even take a shower.

I was nervous cuz I was so inexperienced and felt a weight on my shoulders thinking: “how Am I gonna help this woman?”. But as the months progressed I saw a big transformation. In the beginning she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes and she had told me that she couldn’t even hug her children (they were young adults). She was my patient for 8 months until I had been approved to work somewhere else with a much bigger salary.

In our last session she was looking at me, dressing up, smiling and when I told her that I wouldn’t be working there anymore, she even gave me a hug. It was quite a challenge, but in the end it all worked well. I no longer work as a clinical psychologist (and don’t intend to return), but this experience transformed not only her, but myself.

I gained confidence to work with other people and was extremely satisfied to see that I could help improving someone else’s life.

7. Sometimes all you do it listen.

I’ve regularly had clients tell me some version of, “Remember that thing you told me about breaking up with them/applying for that job/telling them such and such… Well, I took your advice and it really worked and made such a difference!”, and in my head I’m thinking, “that’s not at all what I said” or “oh, that was just an offhand remark that had nothing to do with what I thought I was trying to do, but good job!”

It has made me realize that change is kind of inevitable (tho not necessarily for the better) and that when people are ready, there’s little that will stop them from moving toward that change; they’ll take what I say or, a song lyric, or a convo with the Lyft driver, or whatever is around them and turn it into the thing they need.

So maybe I’m just more like the catalyst in the sense that I can help start the reaction, but I’m not there in the end result.

6. Some parents are not the best.

I tutored students with learning difficulties and helped them learn to coordinate with their guidance counselors and teachers etc. I was kinda the go between for a lot of these kids whose parents had no idea what to do.

One of my students was one of a few siblings. Parents were totally checked out and self absorbed, entitled, expected others to do everything for them and the state to pay for everything so they don’t have to work because they don’t feel like it. They were convinced his adhd was his fault and he wasn’t sad or anything, just bad at school (because his twin brother had been using the “I’m depressed” statement for years as a reason for him to refuse to go to class or do any homework and instead play video games and hang out with a not so good crowd. his brother was evaluated by mental health professionals over and over who deemed him completely fine just unwilling to work hard because he didn’t want to and expect the state to take care of him like it did his mom and dad…this was a whole other story) But this kid was drowning in himself and I saw it and so did others. I sat his parents down and told them if they didn’t get their shit together and get him some help, he wasn’t going to make it. Period. It was crisis level bad and his brothers issues were being reflected on him as the same thing and thus ignored.

I finally got his guidance counselor involved and laid it all out. This kid needs help, his parents are ignoring it, his other older brother is trying to help but can’t, the twin brothers issues are being used as a reason why “nothings wrong with him, he needs to try harder”, the extended family isn’t close enough to do anything but know there’s a problem (they were calling me at this point), and I can’t watch this kid loose this battle. She was on board the second I informed her and jumped right in to coordinate help.

3 months later I watched him walk across the stage graduating with honors, on track with a good mental health plan, a therapist, and his grandparents directly involved in supporting him.

He’s off to trade school as of last year.

5. You’ve gotta love that.

I am a private practice therapist. I had a long term client I saw for over 2 years who was able to overcome so much (poor support, negative self talk with some suicidal thoughts, trouble regulating emotions, using substances to escape, etc).

She ended up moving away but checks in with me from time to time. Her life has completely changed and is doing so well now.

4. Sometimes it’s a simple answer.

when I was a Patient at the psychiatric ward there was another patient who I still think of sometimes. When she arrived she was so white and apathic. Some days later I met her in the halls of the facilities and she looked way better. So I talked to her to get her story.

She was brought in because she had drunk various cleaning products after 14 days without any sleep. She just wanted to sleep and didn’t know any further – I guess it was kinda like a psychotic episode. When she arrived they pumped everything out of her and fortunately she didn’t had any long term damage.

The doctors found out that she couldn’t sleep because of menopausal issues so she got sleep medication and hormones for menopause. When I talked to her she already had slept two nights in a row and she looked so much better, was smiling and talkative.

She said herself she didn’t know what happened to her. Being without sleep made her into a completely different person. I was so happy that she felt better. Overall she just stayed about a week.

Came to us like a ghost. Left us full of life. It was amazing

3. Most people have a reason.

I’m a therapist inside and outside of the prisons. I’d say at least 1x a month I meet an inmate that was likely a major piece of shit when they committed their crimes

Fast forward 10-20 years of incarceration later, and they are intellectual, hardworking men of integrity. It’s amazing what a little bit of structure can do for someone.

2. It happens to men, too.

I’m a therapist and mine is one of my clients getting out of a ridiculous, controlling relationship. He had difficulty conceptualizing that abusive (emotional and physical) relationships can happen to men and it was so bad that he internalized all those negative feelings.

I’m talking about significant, bat-sh%t controlling too like “send me a snap every 10 min, no even LOOKING at other girls, you aren’t allowed to be outside” type of thing.

Working through all of those issues over years was super satisfying to see his progress and recovery.

1. Tell the truth to yourself, first.

I spent most of my childhood depressed and chronically wanting to throw myself off a cliff. There was abuse and a lot of trauma that doesn’t need to be detailed. But I spent pretty much all of high school suicidal and self-harming. College was slightly better but about the same. I never looked depressed mind you, I was high functioning and I always did well in school, etc.

My parents knew but did nothing. I was also dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia and coming to terms with my sexuality in a strict religious environment that had no room for me. I ended up a lesbian married to an abusive man, with a decades long history of trauma, self-harm, etc.

I started therapy four years ago now. Something my therapist instilled in me from the beginning was this: once you can tell the truth about your life, then you can start to create a better story.

She taught me to identify the terrible things I had endured at the hands of the people who should have protected me. She taught me to bring those truths into the light, see them fully, and grieve the childhood I didn’t have and the way that followed me into adulthood. She helped me identify the ways I was perpetuating toxic cycles as a result of trauma: in my relationships with other people and also in my relationship with myself. She reminded me over and over again, that it was not my responsibility to create safety for myself as a child, but it is my responsibility now to protect the child inside myself. It is my responsibility now, to do better than people did to me. She taught me that I could trust myself to know what I need and what I want and what I deserve. She showed me what my life had been, held my hand and pulled me through all the paralyzing, desperate things I did to cope, and then asked me what I wanted instead, and what I could do to build that. She gave me permission to imagine better and then build better.

So I came out. I named what happened to me and stop trying to keep all the abuse a secret. I left my abusive ex. I quit the job that was killing me. I stopped drinking. I started taking medication. And it was absolutely terrifying. But I knew that I had built a trust in myself and I could trust myself to take care of myself. I believed there was a version of life that could be as good as I wanted it to be. I leapt.

And now I live in a beautiful city with the kindest woman I have ever known, whose love feels like coming home. Whose touch is gentle. Who knows every tiny thing about me. I do work I love. I have the derpiest dog to ever exist. I sleep well, which is a new thing. I say yes when I mean yes, and no when I mean no. I don’t abandon myself anymore.

Things can get better. Not overnight. Not without a fuck ton of pain and nights spent possibly sobbing on your kitchen floor. But it is possible for things to get better. And it’s also possible for things to get worse, and for you to not be alone in that, which is a different sort of better.

I owe my life to my therapist. Truly.

These just make my heart happy, y’all.

If you’re a therapist, what’s a moment that made it worth it to you? Share with us in the comments!

The post Amazing Recovery Stories About Patients That Therapists Were Sure Wouldn’t Get There appeared first on UberFacts.

Garbage Collectors Discuss the Interesting Items People Toss in the Trash

There is not one (honest) job in the world that is not worthy of respect. That goes double for anyone who does a job that benefits absolutely everyone else in society, like the people who collect our garbage every week.

I also imagine that they see quite a bit of interesting stuff, and right now, we’re all in luck – because these 16 garbage collectors are going to share their best stories with us down below.

16. A good deed.

In the eighties I picked up a number of Philips colour tvs. I had a few, so fixing them was just a question of swapping parts.

I then sold them cheaply or gave them away to fellow students.

15. Ugh, I hate this twist.

When I was a kid my dad worked for a company that hauled away dumpsters and at one point found an old alto sax complete in the box.

Ended up playing it for four years up until high school when it was stolen, couldn’t play after that since my family couldn’t afford a rental let alone pay for a new one.

14. Not actually broken.

I found an amazing smart TV in the dumpster of my apartment complex a few years back. Took it inside, plugged it in, and, as expected, it wouldn’t even turn on.

So I opened it up, but couldn’t find anything wrong. No blown capacitors, no internal cables unplugged, nothing. So I put it back together and tried it one more time. And this time it worked. No idea what was actually wrong with it, but it worked great for years.

I also found a laptop bag with a 2003 Dell laptop inside in that same dumpster. It was like 12 years old and slow as hell, but it worked fine. Had the power cable and everything.

13. That’s definitely odd.

Friend of ours found two bullet resistant vests with paramedic written across them, being thrown out behind a fire station. I guess the expire or something.

12. It’s not all good stuff.

My dad was a trash man when I was growing up. He would always be bringing cool stuff home to us. He used to always say that the “poor” neighborhoods had the most trash and they threw away literally everything.

The two best ones that I can think of was a brand new BMX bike and like 20 Nintendo 64 games that he found at a video rental store.

Also once at the transfer station one of his co-workers found a “dummy arm” in the big pile of trash. He pulled it and it ended up being a dead guy, the police later determined that it was a homeless person that got picked up and died when the trash truck compacted him.

11. Now I don’t feel so badly for throwing those things out.

My dad used to do the cleaning for a mall and he would bring us some amazing stuff sometimes. I remember he once came back home with a backpack full of miniature toys (like the ones you find in Kinder Surprise), another time an entire toy kitchen, and some kids magazines (Les p’tites princesses, I loved it).

He also found a lot of stuff for our home but I was a kid so I remember the toys more than anything

10. Oh my laundry.

My dad was a garbage man for a while and told me about people being compacted. He said they shake dumpsters up and down and wait 30 seconds before dumping them and he’d had people climb out on two occasions. Crazy.

9. What a waste.

My dad worked at a landfill for most of my childhood and my brother and I both got into related companies that directly dealt with landfills for a while. One of the most common things I remember hearing about and seeing all the time were clothing with minor irregularities that had to be thrown away by said clothing company.

It was stuff like Roxy, Vans and other stuff you’d see at places like Tillys or similar clothing store. One of my old coworkers families basically were clothed their whole life from this type of clothing being dumped. The clothing was clean or could be cleaned to a decent level that the clothing was fine to wear.

It was dumb stuff like small rip, missing zipper or some other weird thing they couldn’t sell it that way. Everyone at the landfill was basically in on the scheme. When the truck with the clothing pulled up to the fee booth, someone would radio people at the dump site and it was like a pack of vultures, everyone on the site would swarm the truck as soon as everything was dumped out of the truck.

8. Some parts of the old days weren’t so bad.

When I was a kid I found a couch. It wasn’t very big, but thats why it was so great. 10 year old me was able to carry it all the way home by myself. (About a block and a half.) This was before kids having cell phones were huge so I didn’t call my parents about it first and they were at the store anyways. So I took the couch home and put it in my room.

It was pretty dated… Made of some material I’ve never encountered again so far, but I thought I was THE SHIT. I had a whole couch in my room. How many 10 year olds had couches in their room? Well my parents came home and clearly weren’t happy, but given I carried it up to the second story and got it into my room they let me keep it. (My down stairs neighbor helped me.)

I felt like a king. I had a couch. I had a big box TV for my play station. I had it all. Simpler times.

7. Who would throw that away?

Worked as a garbage man for a very short time last summer, but the best thing I found was an edition of my local newspaper from the day after the Challenger exploded.

6. More good than bad.

I worked as a garbage man in 1972. A small stray cat jumped into the back of the hopper to look for food. I took him home and named him saigon. This was the best thing.

Second best thing someone threw out an old pair of skis. There was snow on the ground and me and the other guy each took a ski and stood on it and held onto the truck, great fun.

Third best we found an entire case of “brylcream” (look it up) and me and the other guy had brylcream fights all day, total mess (I stripped off before going into my house after work).

Worst things a garbage can that had live coals in it that started our truck on fire.

5. It deserved a good home.

A Lane cedar chest. I was helping my dad clean out this lady’s garage and she said as long as we were there, we might as well take that, too. She said she always hated the smell of cedar but her husband wouldn’t let her get rid of it and now that he was dead, she was sending it on its way!

The veneer was never in great shape but it still keeps my wool items safe. I’ve had it for over 30 years now.

4. A treasure indeed.

in the early 2000’s my best friends dad was a garabge man. I used to hang out at their house a lot and i remember him finding uncut sheets of hologrpahic dragon ball z trading cards in the trash and bringing them back. They were super dope to see.

3. The perfect meet-cute.

I found my wife in a pile of garbage while working on a garbage truck.

I was working being trained as a garbage man and one day a women was throwing out way to much good stuff, boxes of books and I could see she was trying to fill a car and minivan, so I figured she was moving and having to sacrifice good stuff.

I talked to her and offered to come back later and help her move so she didn’t have to throw away so much stuff, and it ended up being a story that her husband left her for her best friend, and they moved in together, and she couldn’t afford the townhouse anymore as she was undergoing cancer treatment.

We got married one year later. I like to say I found her in the trash and fixed her up, but the truth is it is opposite. I was the trash she fixed up I.

2. Someone didn’t clean up their room.

My friend found a PS4 (excellent condition) and a brand new controller still in the box.

1. A hidden gem.

My little brother was emptying out a client’s basement and everything was going to be thrown away so my brother was told to keep anything he wanted. He saw a nice looking bike and took it.

Turns out it was a Dahon mu p8 30th anniversary limited edition and in perfect condition. From what I found on it, it goes for over $4K.

Human beings are really fascinating, don’t you think?

If you collect garbage, add your interesting finds down in the comments!

The post Garbage Collectors Discuss the Interesting Items People Toss in the Trash appeared first on UberFacts.

Colorblind People Discuss the Most Unexpected Hurdle They’ve Faced

I think it’s fascinating to get a peek behind the curtain of other people’s lives, and even more so when it’s an aspect of living that I’ll never experience for myself. Don’t get me wrong; I’m glad I can see a full range of colors.

That said, it’s fascinating to hear what it’s like to not see a full spectrum, and also to realize how many everyday things us “regular” folks take for granted.

These 16 colorblind people were surprised by these hurdles, so no way you won’t be, too.

16. That’s an excellent hack.

I had a teacher who was color blind. His daughter would make sure his clothes matched everyday and when she moved out he got a whole new wardrobe where every piece matched, so only grey or black pants only blue white green shirts and all jackets were black so he was always color coordinated.

Funny part was no one ever noticed the granimals set up.

15. That’s a bit off-kilter.

The football (soccer) team I support now occasionally wears a colour I can’t really distinguish from the bloody pitch.

So, I now watch 11 players from an opposing team walk about with ghosts as a show of support.

14. That’s bound to get annoying.

People asking what colour something is upon hearing that you are colour blind.

What people don’t understand is how good we’ve gotten at guessing based on context.

So then after 2 or 3 color questions that you get right you can see their face change into “oh… this is not as interesting as I thought it would be…”

13. I never thought about the silly names being a problem.

Shopping for clothes…

I’m not severely colorblind, but have issues with things like purple from some shades of blue, dark greens from browns, teal from grey, things like that.

So I hate when clothing store tags or website color options either have number codes for color or non-descriptive names for colors.

Olive Green on a sweater is great. Pine Tree and I’ll figure it out. Misty Hike and I am lost.

Same with 091.

12. At least they had a tiebreaker handy.

I don’t pick up on certain colors of blue/purple, and see them as purple.

My old roommate doesn’t pick up on blue/purple and sees them as blue.

Lots of drunk arguments which we’d then pull our third roommate over and ask and he’d be like “bruh… that’s obviously purple/blue” and we’d lose our minds.

11. I hope she likes green.

On my stepdads behalf, I’ll say that he doesn’t know that the kitchen utensils are all pink.

And also the time he got my mom a fluffy “pink” robe for Christmas, but it was actually green.

10. I feel like that shouldn’t have been a surprise?

My brothers and I (all colorblind) see reds, especially dark reds like maroon, as black.

Both of them went to a high school where the school colors where maroon and black.

Definitely some mind losing when we found out the school colors weren’t just black.

9. It’s easy to lose them in the granite.

Not color blind but my fiancé is, he struggles with the ties on loafs of bread.

The color of the tie will blend in with our counter top and I’ll hear him tapping his hand up and down trying to find it so he can close the packaging on the loaf.

8. A likely excuse.

Mowing the lawn, sometimes I’ll miss a small patch and wont see it.

7. Just leave it the same!

watching the NBA after they stopped forcing teams to wear white at home. It’s a confusing mess most of the time.

Every team should pick a home color and stick with it all year, mix it up on the road. OP is right, especially with teams like Brooklyn, or Dallas, or my Lakers, it’s a total mess.

Lakers used to wear gold at home, purple on the road, white on Sunday. How complicated is that? Now you turn on the TV and sometimes it looks like the Lakers aren’t even out there then you realize it’s freaking Wednesday and they’re wearing the Sunday uniform. Aggravating to say the least!

6. At least you can laugh about it now.

We had a lot of pecan trees when I was young. My father would get so mad when he had me collecting pecans with him.

He would point at the ground behind me at all the ones I overlooked.

It wasn’t until two decades later, and well after it was established that I was colorblind, that I recalled the pecan collecting days and realized what happened.

He had a good laugh about it when I told him my revelation.

5. How dare they actually fix something?!

I had a color blind science teacher. He brought it up when we got to genetics and recessive genes.

The small town had an upside down traffic light for decades. The teacher knew it was upside down, and just remember too was go, bottom was stop.

Then the town suddenly flipped it it rightside up. Luckily there wasn’t an accident, he just had to explain to the officer what happened.

4. Good thing there are also warning sirens.

I can’t read a lot of color coded charts. For example when they show rain intensity on the radar. If there’s just red, green, and blue I do ok.

When they start adding yellow, orange, purple, etc, it just looks like a jumbled mess.

3. Did they…actually say “defect?”

I was then only colorblind student in my h.s.

When science classes were on the subject I was called out of class to demonstrate my “defect”.

4 years worth at least everyone knew who i was.

2. Pick another color!

Color blind physician:

-Test such as urine pregnancy tests will often turn red when positive.

-Electronic medical record software would “flag” important information in red.

-rashes can be tough.

-I once thought I was being helpful by cleaning up blood on the floor. Apparently I just smeared it around, walked through it and tracked it around the clinic.

-I walked in to clinic and my coworker didn’t even look up, she just said “Nope. Never wear that tie with those pants ever again.”

1. He couldn’t diffuse a bomb, either.

Trying to pick outfits or matching clothes for my kids.

Thankfully my daughter helps me get clothes for her little brother when my wife isn’t around.

It’s also very difficult (read: impossible) for me to safely do electrical work.

I honestly never would have considered the majority of these.

If you’re colorblind, what would you add to the list? Drop it in the comments!

The post Colorblind People Discuss the Most Unexpected Hurdle They’ve Faced appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Their True Stories That No One Ever Believes

As a writer, I read true stories all the time that I think I could never use in a book because readers would roll their eyes and call it unbelievable. It must be frustrating to be the owner of one of those stories and never be able to tell them without people thinking you’re a liar, right?

These 13 people have exactly those kinds of tales, and if you say you’re not curious to hear them, I’d say you’re the one who’s not telling the truth.

13. Huh. So it only takes one.

I saw a bird unscrew a lightbulb once.

Yep. Just 1. It worked at it for a long time.

12. Witchcraft.

I knocked a cup of coffee off my counter and caught it and no coffee spilled out of it.

11. She knows what she saw.

Short story: birds + sockets don’t mix.

Long story: I was 5 & we’d just moved to a new house. My mom had sent me outside to play while she unpacked stuff. The house had recessed can lighting under the eaves on the outside. There was a bird in one of the light fixtures trying to unscrew a bulb (presumably to build a nest or something, but it was in the fall). It was using its wings, feet, & body pressure to work the bulb around. I went inside like 5 times trying to get my mom to come outside to look, help me scare of the bird, help the bird or whatever. I was constantly met with the response of “[my name] birds can’t unscrew lightbulbs, go play.”

It eventually got the bulb unscrewed, but the bulb flipped upside down & blocked the hole on the light fixture. Unfortunately, Birdy electrocuted itself. I went inside & told my mom “Well, it got it out.” Then went back to play. She laughed it off assuming it was just part of a make-believe story or something.

My dad came home, I pointed it out to him. He got the ladder, fixed the bulb & removed the body. Both parents were sad they didn’t get to see a bird unscrew a lightbulb. It never happened again in the 15 years we lived at that house.

As a result, whenever my 4-year-old tells me I need to see something cool…I drop whatever & go look. Just in case it’s a bird unscrewing a lightbulb or something. Lol

10. A great cross to bear.

One time when I was a teenager I was playing pool with friends. The pizza arrived or whatever and I took one last shot just as everyone was leaving and sank like five balls.

It was the single best move I have ever made in any game I have ever played, but no one saw it and there was no way to take credit for it without sounding like a liar.

9. You can’t unknow this.

I saw a bee eat a piece of cheese. It was horrifying. I didn’t know it was possible.

Bees will eat human flesh if they get desperate enough, but it has to be already dead.

8. Anyone who owns goats would definitely believe this.

Was doing a service call at an equestrian farm. I went to the bathroom in the barn to take a leak, the door was slightly ajar and the light was off.

I pushed open the door and hit the light only to see a goat dressed in a fleece vest eating toilet paper off the roll.

He gave me this look like to say “wtf are you looking at?” I turned off the light and left.

7. I can imagine his face in this moment.

I once threw the inside of a pen at least 9ft clear across a room and skewered a fly that was annoying me.

Legit I felt like a ninja and have no way to prove it to anyone.

Not gonna lie It’s probably my peak and it’s all been downhill ever since.

6. That would have made me squeal.

Heath Ledger was sitting in my seat on an airplane when I was about 13 on a family holiday.

I knew him only from 10 Things I Hate About You at the time and it was my FAVOURITE FILM EVER.

He was in the right seat but on the wrong plane and jumped up and ran across the tarmac – simpler time, small airport in Spain. No one ever believes me!!

5. She has a type, I think.

My ex (American, met him in the US) and my other ex (Dutch, met him three years later in Argentina) work at the same office in Amsterdam. They are colleagues. I found out cause I saw a fb post in which they were at the same office (2 years after me and Dutchie broke up). And I still live in Argentina!

Also, some years ago, I was in a relationship with a guy. We lived together in a tiny apartment. The relationship ended in a terrible way. Four years later, I started dating another guy. He takes me to his house. It was the apartment I used to share with my ex.

And let me tell you, Buenos Aires is a HUGE city.

4. It’s almost like he knew…

Was in a bookstore once and my friend being a huge Doctor Who fan was looking at some Doctor Who books in the Sci fi section while I looked at Star Wars books.

I came around the bookcase to see what he was looking at and I started saying how boring Doctor Who is. I then started roasting particular actors who had played the Doctor. Especially Colin Baker. I was ripping into this guy and how shit of an actor he is and over acted everything and was just the worst Doctor ever.

My friend and I both looked up and standing where I had been standing 5 minutes before with this huge grin on his face was Colin f*cking Baker.

3. He must be a Jedi.

Was lying in bed watching a movie and too lazy to move.

Saw a small/harmless spider drop down from a thread on the ceiling obviously heading for the far side of my bed.

Even if it wasn’t venomous I didn’t want to share my bed with it, but also didn’t want to move; not thinking it’d actually do anything I reached out my arm towards it (but still quite a few feet away) and started waving my fingers at it in annoyance.

To my absolute surprise it immediately stopped its descent and actually retracted back up its line while I was sitting there in surprise.

Took me a couple of seconds to realise that my hand must’ve looked like the most giant freaking spider he’d ever seen standing on its back legs and waving the front 5 in the “F*ck off or I’ll wreck you” dance.

2. There’s a feather in your cap.

I was once arrested for “dueling”. That was the charge.

I went after my best friend with a knife and he came at me. The cops pulled up after about 5 minutes. We took off. They caught us. Charged with dueling.

He had f*cked my wife.

1. No one ever noticed.

I started out in the normal math class until my teacher realized I should switch to the advanced class because I got perfect scores on everything.

We were just about to start the chapter about telling time when I made the switch.

The advanced math class already knew how to tell time. I had all digital clocks at my house.

I didn’t actually learn how to tell time til I was about to start high school and thought I should learn

I could read these all day long, y’all.

What’s a story you have that no one ever believes? Share it with us in the comments!

The post People Share Their True Stories That No One Ever Believes appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About What Their “Warning Tag” Would be if Humans Had Them

If you’re a big fan of hypothetical things, then we think you’re really going to enjoy what we have in store for you today.

Imagine a world where all human beings had warning tags, like the kind you see on different products.

You know: “High Voltage”, things like that…

What would your warning tag say?

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say about this.

1. The whole package.

“CAUTION: hard to motivate, socially awkward and may come with traumatic memories.”

2. Needs it to survive.

“Do not use without coffee.”

3. Just letting you know.

“Caution: May act rude and not say hello.”

4. Just being honest.

“May be toxic and manipulative without realizing it.”

5. Seriously…

“Not to be taken seriously.

Seriously – don’t take me…”

6. You sound very unusual.

“Will not shut up about opera and samurais.”

7. Get ready for it.

“Warning: This person is somehow both quiet and talkative, and will offend someone.”

8. Don’t mess with me.

“WARNING: Easily annoyed.

So don’t even start.”

9. All over the place.

“Caution: This person can’t focus on one topic and in one sentence there will be at least 5 topic changes.”

10. A real wallflower.

“Warning: Cannot think of anything to add to a conversation but still enjoys listening.”

11. It’s what you’re fluent in.

“Speaks mostly in profanity.”

12. We got a keeper!

“Will spank you once I get comfortable around you.”

13. Barely hanging on.

“Low storage space.

Information may not be saved correctly.”

14. Gotta be careful.

“Warning: Extremely fragile.

Handle with care.”

15. Are you a Gremlin?

“Avoid direct sunlight and don’t feed after midnight.”

16. Broken.

“Emotionally broken.

Will become quickly attached to someone but drop people just as quickly, sometimes “just because” or maybe you blinked at me weird.”

17. I’m a loner.

“Does not play well with others.”

18. Gonna wear you down.

“May cause drowsiness.

Do not engage in conversation while driving or operating heavy machinery.”

19. False advertising.

“WARNING!!

Certain features aren’t as good as advertised!”

20. Keep it coming!

“Super insecure and needs to constantly hear that you love him or care about him or else he goes into super depressed mode.”

What would your warning tag be if you had one?

Tell us all about it in the comments.

We look forward to hearing from you! Thanks!

The post People Talk About What Their “Warning Tag” Would be if Humans Had Them appeared first on UberFacts.