Category: life

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People Shared Their Hacks for Forging Ahead When Life Gets Hard

It was Martin Luther King, Jr. who said, “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” To me, this means that no matter what life throws at you, you have to remember that the future is where you’re headed, so there’s nothing to do but shake loose of the past and head forward as best as you can.

This can be tough to do, and while I do believe everyone should have their fair chance to wallow, once that’s done it’s time to put on your big boy pants or swipe on some lipstick (or both) and put one foot (or knee or elbow or hand) in front of the other until you can run again.

If you’d like some advice on how to get that done from some folks who have been through the wringer, these 12 unique perspectives just might serve as inspiration.

12. A popular tactic.

This is a real tactic and works well. I always tell myself I have to do 2 things everyday.

Depending on the day, it could be just getting out of bed and feeding myself.

On better days, it’s getting some work done and doing dishes.

Just committing to 2 things sounds simple, so it helps keep me to it.

11. That’s the way you make it.

My career. I feel like I’m flying now but holy smokes did I start off as a slow crawl though…

10. It really happens faster than you think.

Exercise.

A couple months ago I was crawling, now I’m walking.

Doubt I’ll ever be flying, but at least I’m stronger than I was.

9. It’s a major accomplishment.

This is extremely minor, but I completed a 5k. I’m not a runner. In fact I hate running. I have short legs and small feet. I’m slow and overweight. I did train, albeit not much.

I started the race by running until I was out of breath (1/2 mile in). Then it was intermittent walking and running until the end. I was the second to last person to finish, but I didn’t care. It was one of the best highs I’ve ever had. It felt good to accomplish something I always told myself I would do someday, but never worked up the courage to try. I was proud of myself.

8. You do it because you have to.

This is going to sound stupid to most who haven’t been through it but my (ex) husband of 17 years cheated on me with my best friend. It’s all so cliche. We had two preteen boys that he didn’t want anything to do with.

Somehow I kicked him out of the house. Didn’t accept his fake apologies. And then watched my run turn into a walk, then a crawl. I dragged us through every day. It happened the last two weeks of school and I still went to their end of the year award programs and smiled even though neighbors were whispering and I hosted birthday parties minus a parent and I taught one to drive.

I am not completely sure how I was strong enough but I brought us all forward in those dark days. I wasn’t going to let this affect them. And now, even with their dad living three miles away with his new family and acting like they don’t exist, I crawl, with them on my back.

7. Terrible to have to do it alone.

When I was 22 I lost my leg due to a suicide attempt and becoming an amputee as a result of my own stupid actions was extremely difficult but I decided I was going to keep living and really see what I could do with the time and resources I have.

I always thought I was too stupid and ugly to do anything with my life but once there wasn’t much left to lose I got my shit together stopped being a victim and now I’m 25 going to school, clean and sober, no friends or girlfriend or family really but I’m content being alone with my thoughts and I think my prosthetic looks pretty badass.

6. How can one person go through all of this?

My wife died June 2015, I lost my job the same moment she passed because I was her in home caretaker for 3 years because she was in a persistent vegetative state, I got addicted to methamphetamines again after 22 years of sobriety, my service dog of 10 years died, I survived an attempted murder from two people with rebar and wound up with brain damage and a broken neck.

I got evicted because I couldn’t afford any more to live in our town home, I walked away from 30 years of memories because I had no where to store anything, I spent two and a half years homeless living on the streets and in shelters, and the majority of everything that happens to me happened in six months.

I finally got on social security for schizoaffective disorder that I got from using drugs after my wife died, and I finally got a home again back in September. The point is I got through it all because I kept moving forward.

5. It’s not stopping, it’s just a pause.

I rode my bike across the US. Most of it solo.

In the middle of Missouri, I just … had enough. I stopped on some guys lawn and just cried. He came out and asked me what was up and I explained how far I’d come (started in San Fransisco) and that I was just done.

He told me to ride into town (I think Springfield?) which was only 10 miles away and take a few days off and rest. Which is what I did, because hey, one more day wouldn’t matter, and the worst that would happen is that I’d pack it in and go home.

Well, a day of rest seemed to be exactly what I needed. I spent a whole day (or most of it, anyway) in blessed air conditioning, ate all the food, drank all the water, and was more or less ready to go again.

I took a few more one-day breaks between Missouri and Williamsburg, VA which really helped me out.

So yeah, one step back, two steps forward.

4. You never know where your path might begin.

Graduated high school in ’01, tried the 4yr university thing. Was really depressed and didn’t go to class much because of it. After the first semester dropped out and enlisted. 3 years later I’m medically discharged.

Worked multiple shit jobs wile attending CC, find a somewhat decent job while nearing the completion of my associates, then the recession happens. Finish my associates while spending a year on unemployment. Unemployment runs out and I decide to hold off on trying to transfer to finish my 4yr degree.

Get a job at gas station, month later promoted to assistant manager, 8mo later, I’m store manager. Year later leave for a contractor position at a bank doing ATM support. About a year later im hired on as an employee. 5.5 years later im in a new salaried role doing data analysis and finishing my degree.

3. May he find someone to lean on one day.

Living tbh.

My parents never believed (and still don’t) that depression is a real thing, so they never got me help when I was younger.

I’m 30 now and still crawling on.

2. One thing each day.

After my mom died, I set a single goal to do something productive each day.

For awhile it was getting out of bed. Then it was brushing my hair. Then it was cooking something to eat.

As each little thing graduated from my “thing” for the day to just habit, I would add a new thing. It took awhile to be functional again.

It really did feel like I was crawling when everyone else was running.

1. It’s the same way I write novels.

A while back I was trying to make an app, learning from scratch it was hard to find time around work, friends, girlfriend etc but I had the mantra of if I’ve only got 10 minutes then do 10 minutes.

The actual 10 minutes didn’t achieve much but it kept it in my mind and when I had a spare couple of hours, I was in the mindset to do that couple of hours and over the months my project gradually grew and grew

Eventually I got out of the habit and the app got less and less attention so it never got finished. I’m furloughed right now, maybe its a good time to get crawling again.

People are really so strong when they need to be, don’t you think?

What’s your own personal example of a moment like this? Share the story with us down in the comments.

The post People Shared Their Hacks for Forging Ahead When Life Gets Hard appeared first on UberFacts.

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Check Out People’s Thoughts on Why the Body Positive Movement Is More Focused on Weight Than Physical Deformities

For a lot of folks, the body positive movement has been a godsend.

For too long, society in general – and some professions, like the medical field, specifically – have made it really, really hard to be happy living as someone perceived as being “overweight.”

This questioner wants to know why we’re more focused on making fat people feel accepted and beautiful than we are on making people with scars, amputated limbs, or other deformities feel the same way.

Why is body positivity focused on fat people instead of amputees and people with scars? from NoStupidQuestions

These 14 people are going to give them a talking to, so let’s just hear what they have to say.

Let’s take a look!

14. There’s a bigger picture here.

I think something people tend to miss with any movement geared towards uplifting groups in a minority or underrepresented category (whether that’s a racial, gendered, sexual, size etc) is seeing the larger societal issues why that is necessary to begin with and therefore make a bunch of false equivalence or try to in some way invalidate the necessity of these things based on actions of some people.

Clearly, telling people go eat a sandwich or disparaging thinner people isn’t okay at all and no true body positive people who genuinely understand and dedicate themselves to this work in a socially conscious and informed way would do this. But also, the point is no matter how many times certain people tell a skinny person to eat a sandwich, even if that person feels badly about it, the images, the representation, the idea that thin is desirable, etc are still the dominant images in our society and on a whole society rewards thinness.

Which is the key issue people should realize. Is that movements like this are pointing out what society has promoted as desirable and the norm in its images and representation and messages we all get over and over and over that tells us who are the normal, acceptable, good, beautiful, smart people. Movements are trying to shift these ideas and diversify them and people tend to not think about it on such a macro scale. A fat person can hurt a skinny person’s feelings potentially, however, it is still going to be true that in everyday life, as you watch tv, as you scroll Reddit, everything you do, thin will still be reflected back to you in most of your media and interactions and societal beliefs and practices as what’s beautiful and desirable.

13. It’s meant to be for everyone.

Originally the body positivity movement was mostly for the anatomical differences not relating to weight: face deformities, amputees, scars, stretch marks etc. But then the movement expanded to things such as height and weight as we became more open-minded as a community.

Regarding overweight people, it was sort of hijacked, whether you were overweight or underweight it was about accepting who you are, as an individual not as a collective to help with body dysmorphia and that just because your body isn’t model-material you are still worth it.

That isn’t to say they are healthy or unhealthy, it’s just about being comfortable. It wasn’t about promoting “this is what everyone should look like” which is what you’re referring to via “obesity is healthy” it is about saying I like how I look, that’s it. Just a small minority has taken the movement too far.

12. Because it applies to so many of us.

I would also add that just in general like 60% of the population is overweight or obese in America while there aren’t anywhere near as many amputees, scar victims etc.

Not saying it’s right but it’s sorta not surprising to me that group is the loudest in the community given there is probably millions more people who identify with it through that lens.

11. Everyone should love themselves.

I’m personally a big fan of the body neutrality movement. It completely takes away the hyper focus on one’s body and is more about accepting yourself and others as is and then moving on.

It’s not as extreme but you still feel good in your own skin.

10. Wouldn’t that be nice.

Yeah, I believe the real message is/should be “If you are fat, you are still worthy of kindness and respect as a human being, but it’s not healthy”.

9. Not everyone is beautiful.

I think it’s much better because body “positivity” can feel so forced sometimes and ultimately is still very appearance based.

Trying to shove this idea that “everyone is cute/beautiful/attractive” I think is actually pretty shitty, because #1. attractiveness may be subjective and beauty standards may change, but if the majority of people do not find someone attractive, insisting that they are anyway is just weird and obviously an attempt to make them feel better, it’s not the truth. And #2. being attractive shouldn’t be as important to our self-worth as it is.

There are so many other qualities that are more important that attractiveness that should come first, intelligence, kindness, perseverance, diligence, empathy, talent, sense of humor, and so on…it goes for everyone, but women especially need to be valued for so many other things before their attractiveness, because then when some of them aren’t attractive, it should not be this horrible, destructive, ultimate insult.

Body neutrality acknowledges all of that, body positivity ignores it and is basically condescension.

8. It’s that simple.

This is the entire essence of body positivity. I have no idea how it happened, but suddenly everyone thinks that it’s about fat people forcing thin people to find them beautiful and attractive.

But no, it’s literally about not being a d*ck to someone just because they’re either underweight or overweight. That’s it.

7. It’s also about a person’s appearance not qualifying their existence.

Just heading this by saying that I do think the fat acceptance movement can, occasionally promote unhealthy behaviours, or not be exactly receptive to criticism. I don’t approve of 100% of the things ‘those people’ do.

But there’s also the very good point that prejudice against overweight people is sort of shitty because there is an assumption against a person’s character or worth based on their weight.

Overweight people are considered to be lazy, unmotivated, even stupid sometimes – because there is an assumption that, because someone can’t manage their diet, there must be some moral failing.

Ultimately, however, there can be dozens of reasons for being overweight. Plenty of these reasons might be within someone’s control on a technical level, but addiction to food is real, especially when we live in societies that make healthy eating difficult and sugary foods plentiful. Eating disorders exist in the other direction, too.

It can also simply be that a person’s life doesn’t assist them. Their metabolism is slow and they work a sedentary desk job with a full family to look after. We all have points of health that we don’t prioritize for other things. That’s normal in an extremely busy society built around the morality of productivity.

Obesity can be co-morbid with other conditions. Fun fact: Someone with ADHD is roughly four times likely to be obese, because in some cases, their brain is so under stimulated that they go and snack/eat on an almost subconscious level. Depression is another big, obvious one.

Very few reasons for being overweight are just “this person is a bad human being”, and the movement is right to point that out. As such, shaming people who are overweight like they have morally failed or that they’re “just lazy” is inaccurate. People are often overweight because there are other facets of their lives that factor into it, be they genetic, societal, mental, etc.

Basically: being obese is not good for you, but it doesn’t make you a bad person, undeserving of love, unable to feel attractive, and lazy, and they’re right to point this out.

Otherwise the obese = healthy argument falls flat.

6. You can eat.

Original body positivity was largely centered around a reaction to Heroin Chic.

There was basically an anorexia epidemic in the early 90’s, and every model or actress you saw was like a coat rack. Every magazine for girls or young women was full of images of impossibly thin girls, and diet tips on how to get even skinnier.

It became so that many girls, and some boys, couldn’t see themselves as human beings, and there was a big movement to say no, actually it’s ok to be a normal weight. You can eat.

And then that became the message that fat activists stole.

It was all originally started with heroin chic

5. Health, mental and physical, is the goal.

I think all of this is a primary reason why some people have stopped talking about body positivity per se, and gone to the “heath at every size” approach, where it’s not even so much about any body type as it is about engaging in healthy behavior no matter what our size is, which I think is not a bad approach because it gets around the idea that my thin/young friends can eat empty calorie fast food all the time but it’s not a problem because they’re thin.

4. It’s about respect.

Body positivity was never supposed to be “everyone is equally beautiful, and if you’re not attracted to an overweight person you’re fatphobic” (a claim that’s so subjective and hard to convince everyone of).

The original point was “despite what anyone’s outward appearance or health is, everyone deserves to be treated and respected as a human being, and you are allowed to demand people treat you like a human despite your body”.

The thing that’s so frustrating about the shift is that now it’s just a argument of “they look like a supermodel!” “No they’re a whale!” Which takes focus away from the much more important fact that the person in question is in no way devalued as a person because of their weight.

3. How about we just don’t talk about people’s weight.

The way you take these comments kind of depends on on your background.

I, for example, was teased a lot by my family growing up for being so skinny/wimpy. My dad and brothers would make fun of my biceps by calling them “mouse stomachs” and my sister would recite a jingle from a popular movie that goes “chamber of bones nr. 1” whenever my twigs for limbs would be exposed. They obviously didn’t mean anything by it, but in the mind of a child that means skinny=bad.

Therefore, even to this day, whenever someone says “you’re really skinny”, I can not take that as a compliment, even though it might have been intended as one (for example, once it was followed by “like a model”, which would indicate a positive intent behind the comment).

I imagine this being even more so the case for men.

2. It could just be the numbers.

Also, there are way more fat people than there are people with deformities. Their voices have the power to drown anyone else out on social media as a consequence.

This isn’t on purpose, but more people post and more people empathize with people who are fat because they are the majority.

1. Seriously, just stop.

The way you take these comments kind of depends on on your background.

I, for example, was teased a lot by my family growing up for being so skinny/wimpy. My dad and brothers would make fun of my biceps by calling them “mouse stomachs” and my sister would recite a jingle from a popular movie that goes “chamber of bones nr. 1” whenever my twigs for limbs would be exposed. They obviously didn’t mean anything by it, but in the mind of a child that means skinny=bad.

Therefore, even to this day, whenever someone says “you’re really skinny”, I can not take that as a compliment, even though it might have been intended as one (for example, once it was followed by “like a model”, which would indicate a positive intent behind the comment).

I imagine this being even more so the case for men.

Why not make, I don’t know, everyone feel good about themselves, hmm?

What’s your take? Drop it in the comments!

The post Check Out People’s Thoughts on Why the Body Positive Movement Is More Focused on Weight Than Physical Deformities appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hairdressers Share the Things You Should Stop Doing at Your Appointments

Even if you love your hairdresser, who maybe even calls them a friend, there’s a good chance you’ve been uncomfortable in that chair a time or two. It’s an odd relationship, or power dynamic, or something.

If you’re wondering if you do something that’s weird or wrong under the cape, these 16 hairdressers are letting it all hang out.

And listen. They’re also going to tell you the things you’re doing right.

16. Be honest.

Just be honest! I have plenty of clients who like to bring a book or their laptop, or even just chill quietly while I’m doing their hair & I appreciate those folks just as much (if not more so sometimes) than the talkers.

I would say most of us try to make conversation at all costs because it’s what’s expected of us (I have known stylists who have been told they were “rude” and left bad reviews just for being quiet/reserved people even if the haircut was good, which is dumb)… but I definitely have no qualms about just being quiet & doing my thing. In many cases I would prefer it, hahaha.

15.  Just trust them.

I love it when people say do whatever you want. It’s my job then to ask questions and see what style and color would work for your life style.

I give people what I think they will maintain as well as something flattering.

14. Check your wardrobe.

I see a lot of good ones on here, but one that might not have been said is DON’T WEAR A HOODIE or a turtleneck, if you can take it off, fine but they both Get in the way a lot if I’m trying to cut/color your hair.

Also your hair doesn’t need to be dirty for me to style it. In fact I would REALLY prefer if it was clean. And it also doesn’t need to be dirty/clean/covered in coconut oil for me to color it. Just come in with normal dry hair.

13. They can’t work miracles.

My friend is a hairdresser and her biggest complaint is unrealistic expectations. People want to go from dark brown to platinum in one session, bright pink hair that never fades, amazing rainbow hair from a heavily filtered photo on Instagram….

It’s mostly about expectations e.g. if you want blue hair then expect bleach damage and split ends, be prepared to spend money on colour safe shampoo, conditioner, hair treatments, maintain it regularly, change your pillowcases, etc. Don’t blame your hairdresser if you go swimming for hours and your hair turns green.

12. Stop trying to talk over the blow dryer.

Like people have said above, have realistic expectations. Just because Sally was able to go from black to blonde in one appointment, doesn’t mean you can. Your hair isn’t Sally’s.

It’s always helpful when you bring in pictures of styles you like, and just as helpful when you have an idea of styles you hate.

Please don’t talk with your head, it’s frustrating trying to keep the tension on the hair, on a client that moves their head just as much as their mouth lol.

I also 99% time can’t hear you when blow drying, and it’s bloody impossible to have a conversation when blow drying now we all have to wear masks lol

11. Just sit still.

Lifting your head in the shampoo bowl! Don’t do that.. That’s how we end up soaking the back of your shirt!

10. There are stylists that specialize in textured hair.

Maybe this sounds harsh but: They more than likely style it straight because they don’t know how to handle textured hair, even if its “only” wavy. I worked at a curly-specialized salon where our intent was to avoid interfering with the hair’s natural texture as much as we could.

Most hairdressers are trained on straight-haired models and techniques, and will actively do things to straighten not-straight hair so it is easier for them to work with.

If you want to preserve and foster your natural texture, mention this to your stylist. but also maybe check around for places that are curly-friendly (be aware: sometimes “curly” salons specialize in things like chemical straightening, this is not what you’re looking for!)

9. Come natural.

im a barber not a hairdresser but yeah pretty much *same thing*

most things have been said already. but a couple i want to add to. washing hair is important. if you cant its not the end of the world. especially if its apart of the service you are about to get. a washed head of hair puts all hair in its natural state makes it so much easier to cut and get a better end result (this also applied with hats if you wear a hat and take it off your hair has been pushed into an unnatural position and a clipper and our combes wont be able to make it go normal)

but damn dont come in when you have a product in your hair that isnt suppose to be in your hair.
i had a client once who came in wanting a 0 fade and he said i dont want anything done to the top (when he said i had a sigh of relief). why? he seem to have styled his hair with some kind of glue. there was no way the stuff he had in his hair was for hair. even so i finished the fade didint do anything on top, i asked him all is good, he said yes all is good, but can you take some off the top just a bit? i said no there is no way thats possible with whats in your hair. he insisted that i tried, so i wet down his hair knowing it wasnt going to work (but to prove a point) and it rolled odd his hair. i did this a fair amount, and said i cant even attempt to try. and ended up telling him if i was to try it would be a lot more expensive to cover the cost of new scissors.
(also bear in mind this was during covid lockdown and at the time we werent allowed to wash peoples hair either so that was out of the question)

also children if your child either hates having his hair cut or moves a lot. dont expect a fantastic hair cut. if you really wish your child who does hate having his haircut get it done by a stranger, have something in mind that isnt a lot of work. tell the hairdresser / barber that they dislike having it done. and ask for advice on what haircut can be done that is quick and easy. and then listen to them and take the advice.

oh and dont move your head with us, we move for a reason dont move your head unless we tell you to. angles are very important, if you move while we are doing something that angle is now wrong.

8. Don’t go with dirty hair.

You’d be shocked at how just washing your hair can make a huge difference between a good haircut and a great one.

7. The pictures do help.

Make-up artist here, so not a stylist but I’ve worked with scores of them and here’s what I’ve heard: Try to find images of hair similar to yours. If you have super thick curls, a pic of someone with fine straight hair won’t do you any good.

Similarly, go in with your hair close to your natural texture if you’re dealing with a new stylist. Also, if you like a cut on a model, cover his/her face with your finger and make sure you like the hair and not the face.

Mention if something bothers you, “I hate blow-drying” “I need to be able to put it up” “My forehead looks weird” the best stylist I’ve ever worked with is also super honest with me “I can do something similar, but this exact length will give you fat face”.

Finally, ask questions. “How do I style this?” “What products should I use?” “What does the upkeep look like?”

6. It seems basic, but…

Unhelpful: moving your head all around. Lifting your head up when you’re getting shampooed.

it doesn’t help and it’ll just soak your back. Don’t wear a hoodie or turtleneck. Don’t expect a miracle color change without investing a lot of time and money. Trust your hairstylist. Lol.

Helpful: bring pictures of what you want. Try to be on time. Don’t no call no show your appointment. If you don’t like it – just be nice and to the point.

5. It’s fine to say you don’t want to talk.

Hey! I do this with my tattoo artist sometimes (and I’m a hairstylist in training, 400 hours left!!), I usually say something like “I’m not really in the mood to talk today, is it okay if we just chill while you work?” or something like that.

Any person worth their shit will respect your boundaries to their fullest capabilities while still providing excellent service.

4. Avoid controversial topics.

My wife is a stylist. Her main complaint is when clients, mostly men but some women, start spouting their political beliefs for all to hear.

It’s as if they think when they sit down in that chair, all conversational etiquitte gets thrown out the window and there are no consequences to what is said.

3. Don’t hide your mistakes.

(responding for my mother, who is one)
Helpful:
Have a picture of something like what you want done, descriptions don’t do a justice
Be 100% honest about what you’ve done to your own hair

Unhelpful:
Don’t bring filtered pics or ones that are wigs (just don’t have unrealistic expectations) Don’t move your head when you’re in the chair, only move when your stylist says so Stop insisting babies and toddlers have hair cut- it’s traumatic

2. Or at least, be polite.

I wanna add on to this as a stylist! I have no problem talking about some more ‘controversial’ topics with clients who can discuss politely. But I do have to remember that there are other clients within earshot and I have to be appropriate for them too.

So just because my client and I are comfortable, I can’t get too into these topics because I could still get a complaint from my neighbors client.

1. Find someone who likes kids.

When our daughter was very little, we took her to a salon that ONLY cut little kids’ hair. They were great, her hair looked super cute and everyone was smiling at the end. It was a little pricey but so worth it!

Well, I for one found this very…informative.

If you’re a hairdresser, what would add? Hit us with it in the comments!

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Hairdressers Discuss the Things You Do That They Love And Really Dislike

I don’t know a single person who hasn’t been uncomfortable at a hair salon.

It’s a strange power dynamic, they’re in charge of your looks, and you’re never quite sure what you should talk about for all of those endless minutes.

If you’ve ever wondered if you’re doing the right thing or not, these 14 hairdressers are baring it all.

14. Ew, I never thought about that.

Always clean your ears before a haircut you don’t want someone up that close to you with waxy manky ears ??

13. It’s awkward for both of us.

Please don’t keep your eyes open when washing, it’s kinda awkward if you know someone is staring right up your nostrils.

Be clear in what you want, preferably already know what you want before you sit down in our chairs, having the “do I want pink or do I want blond oh I just don’t know” conversation is really annoying because it takes time we could use in a better way and honestly I’m down for both and it’s not my head so I’m not going to make that decision for you.

If we are done with a cut, please don’t “help” with removing the hair, your not removing it you are actually making it worse by patting it into your clothes, sticking to your skin and letting it fall into your shoes. We know how itchy it can get when you do that.

You don’t have to talk, you don’t have to be silent, just know that we are stylists first and not necessarily therapists, if you tell me you are going to hurt yourself I’m not equipped with helping you with that. We can have a good chat, I can tell you about my struggles and you can tell me yours, but really talk to someone who actually knows how to help and deal with that. It can be a very hard thing to hear for us too.

Please remember we are human, we have lives and families too, so sometimes we are a little less happy, it’s not that we hate you, maybe we lost someone close to us or are going through a break up. Working when you know that any moment now you’ll get a call saying someone died is making it hard to be super cheery. We don’t have to share those things.

Please be realistic when it comes to hair. Good hair isn’t cheap and cheap hair isn’t good. We need to work with what you have, and if you want the impossible, it’s impossible. Its not about not being able to. It’s being realistic. “But she can go from red to blond in a week” no babe, that’s a wig, and your hair won’t make it. Pick something else, either lay down Some serious money and follow the exact care and time instructions, or stop arguing.

Most stylists aren’t making bank, in fact it’s a very low paying job, we are on our feet all day dealing with chemicals and work in positions that aren’t always good for our backs/hands/wrists/shoulders. Its not unusual if we don’t have time for the bathroom or to eat. Many times I have been busy from the moment the door opens until it closes, and still won’t have eating anything. It’s very very hard work, and after we’re done, every single person in my team is done talking for the day and need some winding down time. we are perfectionists and passionate in our jobs. We do it because we love it and the people, but a lot of us are struggling. Especially now, so be kind to us.

12. That second one made me lol.

My wife has cut hair for aver a decade.

From what I’ve learned do two things.

1. Wash your hair at least a day or two before getting it cut.

2. Look at a ruler to understand how units of measurement work.

11. They just want you to be honest.

Hairdresser here.

I had cancer, I want my hair to be long again to my mid back. Can you help me get there? If it were me doing your hair I would suggest just cleaning it up and making it look like you have a style even when you are going through the awkward parts of growing it out.

Often it entails keeping the back short to keep the mullet at bay until the top and sides have had a chance to catch up. Once your hair is at a chin length bob or so, it will be easier to then let it all grow from there. Hair grows average a half inch per month. That’s 6 inches a year. If you have a buzz cut now, 6 inches will be about Bob length. Another year then you’re approaching your goal length.

Keep getting light trims, every 3-4 months or so to keep split ends away.

10. Have some guts.

Former hairstylist, don’t ask to have an inch off all over and then “we can go from there if I want more.”

That’s asking me to do two haircuts, come on.

9. Don’t lift your head.

Helpful- Bringing pictures of what you would like. Visuals are always helpful.

Unhelpful- Lifting your head up to try and help us while we shampoo your hair. This actually makes things more difficult and can end up getting your shirt and/or the floor wet if you lift when we are not ready for it or if you lift your head too high. Just relax your neck and enjoy the scalp massage, we will support and lift your head when we need to.

8. Don’t ever cut your hair in anger.

Do NOT come to the stylist in a raging fit because your boyfriend hurt your feelings so now you’re going to cut your long hair into a pixie to show that you have control over your life.

No matter how awesome it looks, you WILL hate it, you WILL cry, and you will HATE us for allowing you to do it.

This is why stylists will always try to talk you down off that ledge, and many will offer a slower transition (“Let’s try a shoulder length bob!”) or refuse you completely. It’s not that we hate you. We want you to love us and come back, but if you hate your hair you’ll hate us by extension.

7. Well ok then.

DON’T ?

ASK ?

FOR ?

ANIME ?

HAIR ?

6. You have to pony up the dough.

People who are willing to spend 6 hours and $400+ on a fantasy color such as pink, blue, purple etc. Only to not buy professional salon products. I only recommend to my guests what they absolutely need!

The shampoo and conditioner that we have at the salon is made for specific types of hair with special ingredients. If you use herbal essences, Pantene, or tresemme (basically 90% of any shampoo you can find at the grocery store) on a color like that, it will completely wash out the first time you shampoo your hair.

They have a higher pH and will strip your hair. Also they have waxes and silicones that will deposit onto your hair strand to make it feel soft, but really it’s preventing any type of moisture into your hair strand.

5. It’s fine to say you just want a trim.

Barber of 13 years here, clients say this to me at least 3x a day. It’s absolutely fine and perfectly reasonable if you like the shape of the hairstyle but want a shorter length.

Any barber who can’t understand how to execute that shouldn’t be licensed.

4. Be on time!

✂Hairdresser here for a high end salon

Helpful: Bringing a picture (or a couple with similar pictures) of what you want. Try and match your natural hair texture to the texture in the picture. Be realistic if the hair color is making you love the cut-not the cut itself. Good tipping (hey being honest). Finding a stylist you like the overall vibe of. If making a big cut-tell the front desk that when making appointment so they can alert the stylist ahead of time. Willing to understand sometimes a style won’t work for your lifestyle/face/upkeep and we need to find something else

Not helpful: Being late for appointment. Being rude/ telling stylist how to complete the service (if you don’t trust the hairdresser to complete the service I recommend seeing another stylist) Wiggling/Nodding-or not containing children who do so. Dirty/greasy hair Wearing a turtleneck/hoodie to appointment…..?‍♀️

3. If you have curly hair, you have to find the right person to cut it.

Not a hairdresser but someone who cuts my own and friends/family hair because I got tired of not being listened to by professionals :

Curly hair should not be cut wet. I used to not mind the way it looked right after being cut (when they blow dried / straightened the crap out of it) but then I’d go home, shower, and discover it was too short and badly shaped when curly again.

A good hairdresser will cut curly hair dry or slightly damp so they can see the shape and real length.

2. Mind your body.

Don’t switch how you’re sitting halfway through the cut! Even crossing/uncrossing your legs can make a difference in how the cut turns out!

1. Be polite, and don’t expect miracles.

Mother who’s a retired hairdresser

Helpful:

if it a style your looking for, bring in a good, quality photo of your style. Don’t bring in cropped, wig photos because your hair isn’t not like a styling head.
communicate with your stylist about what you want and don’t want. If you want to try a product or trimmed in a specific way, let the stylist know! They cannot be mind readers of your needs and wants.
be realistic about your hair style. Certain styles are better for one hair type over another. If your hair has more breakage for a style that is more for a thicker type, do not judge the hairstylist trying to accommodate you. They’re trying to make you happy and they’re trying their best to adjust to that hair type for that style by doing things one way over another.
Unhelpful:

don’t blast off at the stylist who tried to “up sell” products, they hate it just as much as you do. Just be polite to say no if you don’t want it. They’re aren’t trying to spike up your bill, they have to follow selling guidelines otherwise they’ll get marks on their reports for not selling enough.

if they notice anything off about your hair (mostly lice or something very hazard-like) they have to deny due to protocols. DO NOT scream at them and demand them to do it. They have to be careful with certain things that could possibly be transmitted home to their loved ones or other customers. My mother had to deny a child because this poor kid had over 40+ ticks in his hair and she did not want the ticks to run around (they’re very hard to kill). The mother screamed about it at my mother but protocol had to be followed. Most will be kind enough to let you know how to treat the problem and will gladly accept you back once your able to control your situation.

do not move around like you just drank a bunch of caffeine. There is risk of getting cut, poor cuts on the hair and much more. Moving around makes it worse not only for you but for the hairstylists who would have to redo it again.

I’m definitely appreciative of these tips.

If you’re a hairdresser and you’ve got any more, share them with us in the comments!

The post Hairdressers Discuss the Things You Do That They Love And Really Dislike appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About How Lucid Dreaming Works

Lucid dreaming is when you are aware that you’re dreaming and you can have some kind of control over the experience.

Think of it as a sort of Choose Your Own Adventure game! Or something like that…

It sounds kind of cool, doesn’t it?

Are you ready to learn a little bit about how lucid dreaming works?

Let’s see what AskReddit users had to say about it.

1. From a veteran.

“I came across lucid dreaming when I was in 8th grade and have been learning about it since.

Ill tell you my experience:

I fell asleep around 10:00am and I started to dream. I left my house in the dream and then realized I was dreaming, after I realized I looked at the floor and the detail of the flowers were so realistic.

Then I ran and flew in the air like superman than I woke up.

Here are some tips.

When lucid dream don’t get to exited or you will wake up.

You can do anything you want while lucid dreaming.

You can hold your nose and breathe out of it while dreaming to see if your lucid.

Having s*x in a lucid dream is very realistic and vivid but don’t get to excited because you will wake up.

If your dream starts to fall apart or you start to wake up spin in your dream in circles to stabilise the dream and you can also rub your hands.

You can summon anything you want by thinking of it while dreaming then turning around or by calling the person name out loud and then entering rooms.

I’ve been lucid dreaming ever since.”

2. Write it down.

“I’m a natural lucid dreamer but I never forced it (never used any techniques myself).

There are techniques to enhance your abilities of lucid dreaming. I’d advise you to stay away from (most of) those, cause you might get sleep paralysis, or worse case you might get trouble distinguishing real life from your dreams.

One ‘safe’ method is writing down everything you remember right after you wake up from (any) dream. Research other methods on the risk of getting sleep paralysis.”

3. Catch 22.

“I discovered it before I knew the term when I was a child.

I used to get nightmares pretty regularly and I remember one time having the thought that I didn’t need to worry because it was just a dream, while I was still in the dream. From there I started influencing it whenever I had that realization. It wasn’t until years later I learned about lucid dreaming.

It can be very realistic but it’s a catch 22, you have to realize it’s NOT real first in order to do it so anything you then dream is known to be unreal or it wouldn’t even be happening. Rarely I will lose myself in it a little.”

4. Here’s the plan.

“I was always a lucid dreamer and just assumed everyone else was.

It wasn’t until people started talking about strange dreams or nightmares and their inability to stop them that I realized anything was different.

To start the one thing I’ve told be that some people have said worked is start with plan.

Go to sleep with a grafted idea so when you’re in it you can recognize you’re dreaming. Also you not in control the whole time, as you go through the different levels of sleep you will gain control and lose it.

It can be as realistic, but I also dream in color and can smell and taste which I understand not everyone can do.”

5. Open the door.

“If you manage to realize you’re in a dream and want, say, a basket of kittens, don’t try to make it just appear in front of you.

Make it behind you and turn around to get it, or open a door and it’s on the other side.”

6. Does it for me.

“I learned by doing it, usually in nightmares, after realizing that a dream didn’t make sense or after waking up and then immediately falling back asleep.

To do it, I’d recommend just waking up and falling asleep a bunch of times in a row, that usually does it for me. I’d say to set aside a morning when you can sleep in, then after you first wake up, set an alarm for 15-25 minutes, fall asleep, wake up, reset the alarm and so on. Eventually you’re likely to find yourself in a lucid dream.

They vary in how real they seem. The more you concentrate on them being a dream and trying to control things, the less real they seem. Just flying or taking note of the fact that you are in a dream won’t usually disturb it too much, but altering the dream substantially will often wake you up.

For instance, I had a dream that I was on a mountain, being rushed by Tolkienesque orcish/goblinoid creatures and I tore apart the landscape (and a bunch of them) with my mind, to prevent them from reaching me. But this also led to me waking up eventually. On the other hand, just flying around is usually fine.”

7. Wild stuff.

“Step one is to realize you’re dreaming. Then I concentrate kinda like how they power up in DBZ. Then I fly away.

It depends on my mental strength how much I can do tho. Sometimes I can alter the real world and use my hands to open my eyes if I’m done with the dream.”

8. A little tip.

“I don’t do it on purpose but when I do lucid dream I try hard to stay in the dream. The most annoying thing is being in the dream and thinking about the real world because that wakes me up every time.

It could be something as small as thinking about what time it is or if I’m late for school. Try to stay in the dream state without being too aware.”

9. Time to fly.

“I’ve been able to do it for years. I’m deathly stupidly terrified of zombies so lucid dreaming is great.

A lot of times when I realize I’m dreaming it’s if there is a mirror and I look into it. I’ll get brave and continue my dream but when sh*t hits the fan I’ll yell at myself to wake up. The one thing I cannot do is run forward if I need to get away it has to be backwards but I can fly.

The flying is so real when I wake up I feel like I can still fly the feeling is so strong still until reality hits. If they’re good dreams I’ll finish them up the way I want. This doesn’t always happen I can’t control when it happens.

It’s just always the same bathroom I end up in with the same mirror I look into and I can control my dreams.”

10. Doesn’t always work.

“I learned about lucid dreaming when I was 12. I had a dream people were falling from the sky off of tall buildings with smoke pouring out of them.

It hit me on such an emotional level I wrote my dream down. 3 months later 9/11 happened and I saw my dream on tv — people jumping off the towers because it was a better alternative than burning alive or getting crushed by debris.

I started doing research about dreams that seem real and started trying to predict futures. This is also when I realized my dreaming in color was unusual. For a while I thought I caused 9/11 and that had it’s own traumatic effect on my life, but now I listen to quite a bit of youtube lucid dreaming meditations and every now and again I feel a deja vu moment like my dreams coming true again, but never anything as insane as 9/11.

I do wake up less rested after I lucid dream. It’s also good to bear in mind that intentional lucid dreaming doesn’t always work. Have realistic expectations, and understand it takes practice.

You are not going to feel like you are in a movie or t.v. show, it’s like you’re awake and dreaming at the same time. You can make decisions but it doesn’t always move the dream forward.”

11. Out of body experience.

“Lucid dreams are a type of “out of body” experience. In the simplest terms, when the body goes to sleep but the mind is awake, you’re “out of body.”

I had a lot of these experiences in my early twenties. I first heard about how to do it on some random internet forum. I experienced the vibrational state the first night I tried and quickly became obsessed with the mechanics of the process.

There are basically two ways to enter the OOB state. The first way is to split consciously from the waking state by concentrating on an object. This is a really bizarre experience that may or may not be accompanied by hallucinations. The second is to “wake up” inside of a dream, usually through a willful action that questions reality, like pulling on your finger to stretch it out, jumping up to fly, or walking through a wall.

When you enter consciously, there is a certain tangible aspect of the experience that is lacking in lucid dreams. Everything feels much more physical. I would basically “pop out” in a mirror image of the physical world and would feel like I was still in my body. Subconscious imagery could intrude quite easily, though, and then I’d fall into a dream.

When you “wake up” from the subconscious state, i.e., a dream, you’re basically doing the opposite of this. You realize that your body is asleep, but your mind isn’t fully awake. The problem is you are enveloped in subconscious imagery and often can’t dig your way out of it before losing that spark of consciousness.

This is why lucid dreams can feel a bit more “manufactured.” When the subconscious imagery is wiped away from your mental lens, you find yourself in the same state as you would in a conscious split.

The material there is basically super pliable and we can manipulate it with our creative imagination. This can pose a problem for those who are easily convinced by personal experience because it can be very difficult to determine the source of any particular projection.

Maybe it’s your subconscious, maybe it’s another being. Sadly, the experience itself can tell you nothing about the truth of the experience.”

Now we want to hear from you.

If you have any experience with lucid dreaming, please fill us in in the comments.

We look forward to it!

The post People Talk About How Lucid Dreaming Works appeared first on UberFacts.

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Things That People are Really Sick of Explaining

Life is tough enough without being asked to repeat yourself time and again. Especially when it’s because people can’t mind their own business.

From work, to health, to life, how many times have you found yourself sick and tired of explaining these same 15 things to other people?

Let’s take a look!

1. The truth can be harsh

Just because I said it’s true doesn’t mean I like that it’s true.

2. The law isn’t always right

Legal does not equal moral.

Moral does not equal legal.

3. Silence is golden

Nothing is wrong, I’m just quiet.

4. Invisible disabilities exist

Some health issues are not visible.

Chronic fatigue is real.

5. You can’t choose your family

Why it’s ok to go no contact with toxic family members.

6. Math can be hard

Revenue =/= profit.

7. Reading can be hard too

Read the god damned error messages.

8. People are different

That your anecdotal experience is not fact, u don’t know everyone so save the generalizations for the toilet.

9. Mind your own business

That’s it’s okay to let people live their lives even if you don’t agree with them.

10. My body, my art

That my tattoos don’t have to have a big meaning.

I liked them back then and I like them now.

Only reason I got em was cause I thought they looked cool.

11. Things are what you make of them

You can enjoy a game without winning, and you can win but still not enjoy the game.

12. Wear sunscreen

You can still get a sunburn on a cloudy day or in the winter.

Melanoma sucks.

Trust me.

13. Women aren’t just baby factories

That I, a woman, don’t want children.

People either think you’re lying or you’ll grow out of it.

14. Kindness is key

Why basic empathy for other humans is good.

15. There are consequences

That free speech doesn’t mean there are no consequences for what you say.

It just means that the government can’t dole out those consequences.

Your friends, family, employer, school and the public at large have every right to not want to associate with you.

After reading all of those comments, I can totally understand why people get bothered by having to explain that stuff.

What are some things you’re the most tired of always having to explain to other people?

Tell us in the comments!

The post Things That People are Really Sick of Explaining appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About the Glitches We Might’ve Missed if Life in Indeed a Simulation

I remember having a conversation once with a friend of mine about what we were doing with our lives and he said, “well, it doesn’t really matter anyway. This whole thing is just a simulation.”

Huh? I was dumbfounded.

He explained that life is actually just a simulation and that everything is predetermined.

I listened carefully, told him that he was full of sh*t, and then finished my drink.

But I guess some people really do believe that…

Folks on AskReddit discussed what glitches we might have missed if life turns out to be one big simulation. Let’s take a look.

1. Think about it.

“The “Observer effect” in quantum mechanics. When something is in multiple states at the same time and when you measure/watch it, you force it to take a state.

Just looks like a computer saving resources by not loading useless sh*t

edit: I got that there’s probably something behind and it’s not actually the fact we’re watching it that does something.

But if tomorrow we were able to prove we live in a simulation. Then this would have been a hint.”

2. I’m seeing things.

“The Baader-Meinhof phenomenon.

When you learn something new it seems like you see it everywhere right after that.

Like a video game when you learn some new move then it is immediately applicable to your life.”

3. Light waves.

“The dual slit experiment.

Basically, light acts like a wave when you look at it

But if you look at light really really closely, you see it’s not a continuous wave but made of teeny little particles called “photons”.

These photons, when there’s loads of them, affect each other so they act in waves. Seems simple.

However, when you fire photons one at a time at a piece of card with two slits in it, they still act like they’re being affected by lots of other photons around them.

So whoever designed our simulation wanted to model light using waves, but it was too complex so made photons instead; the same way a “curve” in a video game is actually made of square pixels.

They never figured we’d get smart enough to experiment on individual pixels.”

4. Can’t prove it.

“Every field of study, including science, runs on assumptions that we can’t prove, and no matter how much research we do we end up with loose ends.

For example, we can’t prove that the “laws” of physics have always been the same. We just have to assume they’ve always been that way when we run our models.

My buddy (who just finished a PhD in material science) likes to say that when you go deep enough into research, you find out that everything we do, all the structures and theories and everything else, is resting on clouds of uncertainty.”

5. This looks familiar.

“Children who are convinced that they’ve lived before, and know sometimes verifiable facts about the person they think they were.”

6. Already convinced.

“Constant speed of light.

Quantized space, time and energy.

Slowing down time as speed increases.

No information out of event horizons.

Increasing quantization at higher energy levels.

I’m convinced we are in a simulation already.”

7. What are the odds?

“The fact that the moon and the sun can just about perfectly eclipse each other.

What are the odds that the moon and sun would be the sizes they are and distances from the earth that they are to allow that to happen?”

8. Can you explain it?

“Being depressed despite any reason.

I have a perfect family, I am annoyingly optimistic, I do everything and yet, here I am.

It’s like someone is just pushing the “Be more depressed” button for sh*ts and giggles.”

9. Reset button.

“I have epilepsy and I swear when I have a seizure it feels like I have been reset. It’s the strangest thing.

I feel tired but it legit feels like my body is booting up. Like my seizure was a deletion of unneeded data, an update and a reboot.”

10. They’re everywhere!

“I’m sure it’s been said already and this comment will be hidden under others but…doppelgängers!”

11. It is quite odd…

“Pain.

One time I will literally fall face first into the ground and be fine, then I will maybe just accidentally walk into a table with my toe and start planning my funeral already.”

12. Let that sink in…

“Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both were shot in the head.

Kennedy’s secretary, Lincoln, warned him not to go to Dallas.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners.

Both successors were named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are comprised of fifteen letters.

Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse. Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.”

Okay, now it’s your turn.

In the comments, please tell us what things you think might prove that we’re living in a simulation.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Talk About the Glitches We Might’ve Missed if Life in Indeed a Simulation appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Discuss What They Think Will Be the “You’re Not Going to Always Have a Calculator in Your Pocket?” Saying in 2040

We like to believe that the generation we grow up in is the peak of technology and that things can’t get better…but then you get a little bit older and you realize that you’re just a blip on the radar…

But technology keeps on keeping on. And those teachers who used to scold us about relying on our calculators had no idea what was in store, did they?

What will the equivalent to “you’re not always going to have a calculator in your pocket” be in 20 years?

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say about this.

1. Could happen…

““And what if your phone doesn’t have service?”

Dude I went to a mini mall today to pick up some supplies and lunch and I couldn’t get cell service for the first time in what felt like 10 years.

Literally felt like I stepped back in time.”

2. Let’s hope not…

“You won’t always be living with your parents!

52% of 18-29 year olds are apparently now. Which is nuts.

This generation is f*cked. As an older person, I have a lot of sympathy for the cupboard being left bare for younger people.

I’m sure (I hope) a pretty big chunk of the 52% are college students since with college costs being so high, living with your parents then is such a no-brainer.

And I hope most of the rest are by choice and not necessity, but that’s probably not the case.”

3. We’ll see about that.

“”I have a right to online privacy.”

I hate their reply: “if you have nothing to hide why are you worried.”

Wanting some privacy doesn’t mean you are hiding something.”

4. Living in strange times.

“”Well you can’t automate everything.”

Tell that to my car that drives itself, house that cleans itself, yard that mows itself, and coffee that makes itself.

But, sure, that one thing you’re thinking of totally can’t be automated.”

5. Oh, really?

“‘You’re not always going to have someone to clean up after you.’

‘Meet my robot butler!’”

6. Are we making progress?

“Fingers crossed: “Finish your food, there are people in Africa starving”.

I always hated that line. Like what would you like me to do?

Mail it to them? Or force myself to to keep them that way?”

7. Kind of depressing.

“”There’s plenty more fish in the sea” won’t make any sense.

I know people don’t like to hear this, but there’s still hope if we stop fishing and eating them.

We currently fish trillions per year (literally). Fishing is also responsible for more than half the plastic polluting the sea.”

8. Teachers…

“Teachers saying “you’re not allowed to use a Wikipedia article.”

I hope that doesn’t change, encyclopedias in general have always been frowned upon as sources because their entire purpose is to give an overview.

Wikipedia’s biggest advantage is that it makes it easy to find primary sources, such as books or articles, which are then acceptable to cite because they should go into more detail.”

9. No more pandemics, please!

“”This restaurant doesn’t deliver.”

Although hopefully not because we end up with another global pandemic so f*cking soon.”

10. Watch this!

“”You can’t just make stuff appear out of thin air you know!”

*3D printer go brrrrrr.”

11. Let me access my brain.

“You’re not always going to be able to access your brain’s memory files, sometimes you may need to remember things off the cuff.”

12. Electric cars.

“You won’t always have a gas station (electric cars are coming, folks!).

If we’re optimistic, electric car production will have surpass ICE by 2040.”

How about you?

What do you think are some good examples of this?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments. Thanks!

The post People Discuss What They Think Will Be the “You’re Not Going to Always Have a Calculator in Your Pocket?” Saying in 2040 appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Stories About When They Dreamed So Hard It Felt Real

Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real that you woke up and said to yourself, “did that just really happen to me…?”

And sometimes that can be a good thing or a bad thing, FYI…

Has that ever happened to you?

AskReddit users opened up about the most vivid, realistic dreams they’ve ever had.

1. Where are my blades?!?!

“As a kid in the 1990s I dreamed that my neighbour had a rollerblade shop in her backyard and she said I could pick out any pair I wanted!

The next morning I went out and popped my head over the fence and it was just a stupid normal backyard.

No rollerblades for me.”

2. Where’s my son?

“I once dreamed i had a son and i haf to go get him from school but I couldn’t get there in time.

When I woke up I searched the number of his mother in my phone to let her know I couldn’t get there in time.

It took a minute before I realized I don’t have a gf or a son.

I was 17 at the time.”

3. Like an action movie.

“I sometimes have super intense action dreams where a good friend and I are up against the world in some dire, overused Hollywood plot.

Conspiracy thrillers, taking down billionaires in covert missions, overthrowing a corrupt politician, it’s all there.

I know they’re not real, but it makes me feel a little more empowered when I wake up to make the coffee.”

4. Woke up in a panic.

“Had a dream a few years ago that grandma died. Woke up crying and called her. Didn’t get an answer because she was asleep.

Started freaking out and asked mom if grandma was okay. Mom laughed at me. I got a call from grandma after she had woken up and saw that I’d tried to call her.

She was perfectly fine…”

5. Are you okay?

“I killed people in my dream and stuffed their phone in their mouths.

When I woke up, I felt an intense sense of guilt and checked my room for bodies. After about a minute, I realized that was highly improbable.

And yes, I’m a dumb*ss.”

6. Work nightmares.

“I have had dreams where I am at work and they seem so d*mn real. I actually had a work nightmare come true.

I had this nightmare that I would not realize I was scheduled and not show up to work.

I actually had that happen a couple years ago. I made it in after my boss was like ‘Hey where the hell are you?’”

7. Every night.

“Every night I have hyper-realistic dreams.

Some times it’s me in a huge space ship entering a new world to colonize it. Other times it’s about ghosts crawling out of holes in the walls. Both I can tell when I wake up were dreams.

But there are some…Sweet bees are they annoying. They’re just me at work, and I move some bottles to another shelf. When I go to work the following day, I go to the shelf to get them. No bottles. It was a dream. Or I’ll have a conversation with someone and only when I reference it do I realize it was a dream.

Every night I dream so vividly. I hate it 95% of the time because I always wake up feeling exhausted, either emotionally or mentally. I even asked my doctor once if there is medication to prevent me from dreaming.

I remember dreams from years ago that pop into my head randomly like they’re memories. I wish I could sleep and not dream.”

8. Italy.

“I had what felt like a really long dream that I was living in Italy. Now, obviously it was just a dream and couldn’t have happened because I was just an average American in my early 20s at the time living in the bumf*ck country side.

But, it felt so real. I had a full-time job in my dream (can’t recall what job though) and even remember that I was invited to some party after a day of work. I had two pet dogs in my dream, one a Chihuahua and one a mix that I can’t recall. I was living alone but generally enjoying my life in Italy.

Again, it was all just a dream but it felt so frickin’ weird waking up and realizing it wasn’t all real, that I was still in my messy bedroom in my parent’s home. I had a mild panic attack when I woke up utterly confused at what the heck happened. For a brief moment, I genuinely thought that I was actually in Italy and that me being in my parent’s home was the actual dream.

It’s been years since then and I am nowhere near Italy or even have plans on going to Italy but I still think about that dream at times.”

9. So realistic.

“It happened to me when I was on cardiac medication, that cause sleeping issues as side effect. I had super realistic dream about my ex boyfriend cheating on me and bragging about it everywhere with his new girl.

When I woke up, I was genuinely sad and almost had tears in my eyes, but after a minute I realized it was just a dream. Day after that I had a dream, that I was stabbed to death by some creep I was running away from.

Or another time I woke up waving hands around my head because I thought, that wasps are attacking me. Dreams were so realistic, I was even little afraid of going to sleep.”

10. What are you doing?

“I dreamt that I had forgotten to schedule a meeting for my boss. I ran into work early the next day and sent out a meeting invite to my boss and the clients concerned.

My boss came into work and asked me what I was doing. I then explained he had asked me to set this meeting up yesterday and that he could send me the documents he needed printed.

Midway through explaining this I realized it was, in fact, a dream. He was not pleased.”

11. Bring on the meat.

“I dreamt of eating buffet of meats. I woke up with saliva coming out of my mouth like I can smell and taste the meats.

I waited till lunch got out to my favourite meat buffet restaurant just to find out it is closed because of quarantine despite of my government allows restaurants to open since they are necessity sector.

I was p*ssed off the whole day. F*ck that dream.”

12. Whoa…

“I had a dream that the space shuttle blew up in one of the most vivid dreams I have ever had…two days before it happened. That made me question some things, but was probably just a stupid coincidence.

The dream was so vivid that I jumped out of bed as soon as I woke up and typed out the dream and sent it to some friends on ICQ. Two days later I woke up to phone calls and a whole cr*pload of new messages on ICQ and IRC. I eventually picked up the phone and was told to turn on CNN.

I will never forget how vivid that dream was. I was watching a space shuttle launch on TV, which was for some reason being held in Central Park in NY.. along with my family. This is when I remember the dream starting to get lucid. I looked closer at the TV and it looked more and more sharp and vivid and I ended up being pulled right into the TV, at that point being aware that I’m dreaming.

I remember sort of looking over central park from a great height, the same vantage point that I saw on TV. I slowly descended and ended up on top of a skyscraper just south of central park. It was some sort of a residential tower that doesn’t actually exist (in my dream it was very tall). I remember feeling the breeze of the wind on my skin and the sunshine on my face, as I stood on the roof of that building.

In the distance I could see the space shuttle being set to launch right from central park. I was lucid so I knew that this made no sense, but there it was.. It was so vivid.. felt so real.. if over-exaggerated in the way everything appeared. Super tall skyscrapers, an oversized space shuttle, the perfect amount of sun shining on everything, producing an epic scene right in front of me.

I remember being up on that skyscraper with a bunch of people all cheering and watching the launch. There was a countdown and the space shuttle slowly took off.. but immediately had problems, as it for whatever reason started moving off to the left… eventually there was some sort of explosion, and the space shuttle flew right into one of the skyscrapers. The skycraper started falling, and the whole scene basically changed to a dark gloomy sky, as this was all happening.

The last thing I remember is our building being hit by another one, fire, and smoke, and I woke up… jumped out of bed, ran to my computer, and typed out the most vivid dream I have ever had.

Two days later it was February 1, 2003, and Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrated on reentry, as it was returning home.. A completely different scenario than the one I saw in my dream.. but I felt that tragedy in a strange way when it happened.

That was a super weird dream and I haven’t really had any like that since from what I can remember.. except for maybe some strange dreams I had when I was in New Orleans.”

Have you ever had a dream that felt totally real?

If so, please tell us all about it in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post People Share Stories About When They Dreamed So Hard It Felt Real appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About Their Worst “HR Is Not Your Friend” Stories

A lot of us have our struggles with human resources at jobs at some point in our lives.

You might think they’re on your side as a working stiff when you’re young and idealistic, but if you’ve ever had a bad experience with them, you know they can be downright brutal.

Folks on AskReddit shared their “HR is not your friend” stories. Let’s take a look.

1. Huh?

“Pulled into a meeting with two HR reps in the middle of my shift. Taken to this really nice boardroom, which was confusing because I was just a grunt and this is literally floors above where I should ever be.

They sat me down and said basically what do you have to say for yourself. Me, still confused, tells them I have no idea what they’re talking about. Everyone is really quiet and serious and I’m scared sh*tless. And they say you know what you did, this is cause for termination, blah blah.

I’m literally thinking this is really excessive for being a few minutes late sometimes. I insist I don’t know what’s going on. One of them maybe realized something was wrong and flips open a file and says you’re xxx right? Turns out they got me mixed up with someone else who has the same name.

On the elevator ride down by myself I was still sweating. Don’t know what that other person did but man, HR does not play.”

2. Ripped off.

“I went to HR to report that my team’s manager was illegally shorting all of our paychecks. HR’s response was to adopt a new, company-wide policy addressing the paycheck issue and back-paying most people for a certain amount, and also to frame me for work avoidance.

HR and IT disabled part of my login account to a tool we used, and then fired me a few months later after failing to fix the problem and allowing me to actually do my job.

They tried to deny my unemployment claim afterward. Told the unemployment rep that they “had logs” showing that I did something to break the tool I don’t even have access to break in the first place. They also didn’t think to disable my email access in a timely manner, so I was able to back up all my emails with IT documenting exactly what went down.

Unemployment approved my claim and hit them with a major penalty to their insurance.”

3. Shady.

“HR ordered me to downgrade my three excellent employee reviews to satisfactory because management didn’t recognize their names. I got written up for telling my employees this.

HR denied that they told me anything, even though I had the emails from them documenting it. Totally worth it. My employees were excellent and got the raises they deserved.”

4. Stabbed in the back.

“HR hired consultants to run morale building employee input sessions.

Basically saying “We’re not from the company. You can tell us all the things you don’t like about working here and would like to see changed and we’ll put it all into a report for management. Don’t worry, everything is anonymous, we just need material for our report and you guys get to have your say in improving things around here.”

Turns out HR and the consultants recorded all the sessions and played the highlights for management. People were disciplined for criticizing the company or their immediate superiors and any shred of faith or trust in management that the employees may have had was instantly incinerated.

Managers now complain that they don’t know what’s going on in their teams because nobody tells them anything. I wonder why.”

5. Don’t go to her.

“I worked at a smallish company that grew big enough to hire an HR person. Her office was down from mine so in the mornings I’d swing by and say hi.

That turned into grabbing a cup of coffee she had just made, the into having a pastry and talking about life. I found that if I mentioned someone’s name in passing, a few minutes later she would spill the beans about that person’s life.

What work issues they had, health issues, family issues etc. I learned really quick any issues I had not to take them to her. She made it like 6months before she got fired.”

6. Speakerphone.

“I asked my boss for a desk phone with a speakerphone function because sometimes I need it at work to conference people on the phone with people in my office.

We had these old, yellow phones. So he told me to make a request to him and CC our office manager, and he’d send it to the HR department of our region via e-mail.

So I put forth a nice e-mail outlining what I am requesting, and why I need it for HR’s request. My office manager replies all and asks HR “per lazarus870 request, should I order the phone through the same channels I have used before or is there a new policy?”

HR responded livid. She demanded to know why I needed this phone (it was in the e-mail…) and then accused my office manager of going behind HR’s back in ordering phones before without approval.

My office manager told my boss, who called HR and chewed her out and I could hear yelling. My boss came out of his office and yelled at me, “See what you’ve caused?!” He was fired up but I know he didn’t mean anything malicious by it. I just laughed.

HR had to apologize to office manager for accusations. Turns out, after everybody yelled their f*cking lungs out for an hour, the speakerphone I needed was literally free and we had boxes of them in storage. I had it for a month before HR rolled out new fancy phones that were actually expensive and convoluted, requiring training to set up and use…

At the company picnic we had to wear f*cking name tags and I had never met HR lady face to face and she came up and said, “Oh we haven’t met, what’s your name?” and I was trying to hide my nametag but she read it and didn’t seem happy to see me.”

7. A terrible place to work.

“At my last “real” job before striking out on my own I had an exit interview with the HR lady who was actually just someone who was friends with the company president who was filling in because the actual HR lady with a degree in HR and everything quit.

A lot of people at this place quit. It was a terrible place to work with out of touch management and delusions of grandeur limping along building websites for a business niche that was mostly old people who thought the Internet was magic.

During the exit interview she asked why I was leaving. I told her I liked my coworkers a lot, but hated the company. She got this exasperated look and got genuinely upset, and told me that she’d been getting that same line from everybody else who quit and had their exit interview recently.

It boggled my mind that they could hear the same thing over and over again from so many people putting in their time until they could go on to something better and not stop to think they should change something.”

8. Creeper.

“I worked in the bakery at a Fred Meyers for about 6 months when I was freshly 19.

There was this like 45 year old guy in meat/seafood who was super creepy and all of the women in my department and even one woman who was previously in my department but was moved to another TO GET AWAY FROM HIM warned me about this man from day 1.

Somehow, any time I was on my break, he would “be on his break too” and he’d follow me into the break room and try to flirt with me the entire time.

Not only did he follow me on my breaks and lunches, but if I had to walk to another part of the store to get anything he would run to catch up to me and walk with me, he followed me to my car a few times after I got off shift and the scariest time was when I was closing by myself and he came into the back of the bakery and kept following me around the long table, trying to grab me while telling me how much he liked me and how badly he wanted to be with me.

I told him no and to leave me alone CONSTANTLY while managers just shrugged and said “that’s just how he is”. My boyfriend threatened him when he got off work one time hell even my father came in and threatened him because NO ONE was doing ANYTHING.

The final straw for me was one night when I was closing alone again he came into the back area and followed me into the freezer and tried to kiss me and he grabbed my *ss. I pushed him and f*cking ran to the closing manager who also functioned as HR. He said he’d “watch the store footage” and talk to me the next day.

Next day comes and he pulls me into his office and says that he saw the video and saw this man stalking me inside and outside of work and that he “talked” to him about his behavior to which the man responded that it was just a “misunderstanding”.

I replied that this had been going on for months and I wasn’t going to take it anymore and he had the f*cking NERVE to tell me that “He just does this to all the new girls. As soon as another girl gets hired he’ll leave me alone.” I told him he was a bastard and quit on the spot.

Turns out the creep was the brother of the stores owner who had been to jail in the past for s*xual assault and R*PE but was now “cleaning his life up”.

9. That sucks.

“I reported s*xual harassment to HR at a large international company when I was 21.

They notified my harasser (an older VP) before I even made it back to my desk.

I was fired a few days later, despite an excellent performance review the week before he propositioned me.”

10. I believe I deserve a bonus.

“The HR/Payroll manager at a small hospital I worked at had a bad habit of not paying out the sign-on bonus that was paid out incrementally in three payments through the course of a year and sign on bonuses for picking up extra shifts. After repeated request to be belatedly compensated, I took it to corporate who addressed my issue immediately.

A couple weeks later I was terminated on what amounted to a technicality where I forget my badge one shift and my relief was late to take over sitting with a patient, causing me to receive more points against me than if I had called out for that shift.

When I was called in to receive my notification, the director of nursing was shocked but ultimately not much she could do.”

11. Fender bender.

“A co-worker accidentally backed his company truck into my personal car while it was parked. He alerted me and our local manager immediately, we took photos, filled out the incident report, yada yada yada.

Everyone in our office was in agreement about what happened, that it was an honest accident and the company’s insurance should cover the cost of fixing my car.

Then the HR director got involved. First he tried to get me to assume liability since it was my personal vehicle that “caused” the accident. My car was parked in the parking lot and I was inside at my desk when it happened. When I pointed this out he backed down and said he would file the claim.

Next I got a call from a hostile insurance adjuster from my company’s insurance demanding that I provide my insurance information or they would be pursuing legal action. It turns out the HR director had filed the claim saying that I had run into the parked work truck with my car and tried to flee the scene but was witnessed by a co worker who reported me.

I informed the adjuster what had actually happened and emailed her the photos and signed incident reports and witness statements that we had filled out and she changed her tune pretty quickly and said she would get back to me.

The next day I get a “settlement agreement” from HR asking me to accept $1100 for repairs and to sign a form releasing the company from any further responsibility. I had only just dropped my car off at the body shop and hadn’t even gotten the estimate back yet. I declined and was told that I either had to accept their offer or be out of luck.

At this point I reached out to my own insurance and told them what had happened. As I went through the sequence of events I could hear my agent getting almost giddy about all the blatantly illegal tactics HR had tried on me. In the end they processed my claim and pursued my own company’s insurance through subrogation. He also mentioned that they would probably be seeking additional damages due to falsification of statements in the initial claim. Don’t f*ck with USAA.

In the end the damage ended up costing over $4,000 to fix but I didn’t have to pay a cent, not even my deductible. I don’t know if the HR director experienced and consequences, but there was a comment in our finance VP’s year end report about needing to “reduce extraneous costs due to reporting delays and inaccuracies in liability claims.””

Have you ever had any bad experiences with human resources at work?

If so, please tell us all about it in the comments.

Thanks in advance!

The post People Talk About Their Worst “HR Is Not Your Friend” Stories appeared first on UberFacts.