Things That People Loved as Kids, But Can’t Stand Now That They’re Grown

Kids love all kinds of weird stuff. We know that’s true, but there are some things that just lose their shine, the older you get.

Pizza rolls, for example. Dear lord, the heartburn.

These 14 people are thinking back to their childhood and how things have changed for them since growing up.

14. A cold waiting to happen.

Buffets.

When I was a kid I’d pick a buffet to go to for my birthday.

As an adult I realize how low quality and gross the food is.

13. The guilt is real.

Lots of sugar.

I still want to eat sugary stuff like pastries, except now I feel guilt every time I eat it.

I miss when I wouldn’t care and just enjoy those delicious treats ?

12. I mean…

People.

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.” – Twain

11. It’s just junk.

Snail mail.

It used to be all exciting gift cards, presents, cool magazine subscriptions and nice letters from family members and friends.

Now it’s 99% bills and solicitors.

10. I feel this.

Cake frosting.

And for the same reason: Candy corn

That stuff used to be crack to little me.

I tried it as an adult and it was so sweet it practically burned.

9. So many things not actually delicious.

Tang!

Got so excited to try again and realized quickly I liked it better as a kid.

Guess I failed the astronaut taste test.

8. It was bliss.

Life ?

not depressed or anything but life was so much better and beautiful as a kid.

I was lucky had an amazing family everything was perfect and then overnight bills come in, responsibilities, stress, problems …. stay young as long as possible, growing up it is a trapp

Ah the bliss of childhood. They say “The more you know, the more you wish you didn’t.” Idk who said that but it wasn’t me

7. Just in general.

Growing up.

6. A little bit weird.

Those chocolate coins in the gold wrappers.

I still love them, a nice treat now and again, can only have 2 or so now that I’m older though, a bit sweet and weird, but I still like them.

5. A complete 180.

Going to McDonalds as a kid = Victory

Going to McDonalds as an adult = Defeat

4. Weary indeed.

Being alive.

I’m just so tired of everything – social expectations, maintaining relationships, working a job, never having enough time to do the things I enjoy but then being paralyzed by choice when I do have free time, obligations around the house, and dealing with other people in general.

I have grown weary of this world.

3. The neighborhood has really gone downhill.

Facebook!

Used to be great for meeting up with friends or girls from other colleges.

Now it’s aunts and uncles fighting over politics?‍♂️

2. Because no one takes care of you. Boo.

Staying home on a sick day.

As a kid it was a huge victory, got to stay in bed all day, watch TV, and having a parent tend to your every need.

Then as an adult you’re just thinking about the work you’re gonna have to make up for and how you hope you don’t need to go to a doctor.

1. That is not cheese. #sorrynotsorry

Kraft singles.

Yuck.

There are too many of these to list, I think.

Tell us down in the comments what you would add!

The post Things That People Loved as Kids, But Can’t Stand Now That They’re Grown appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss the Mistakes Twenty-Somethings Don’t Realize They’re Making

Experience is not only the best teacher in the world, in some ways it’s literally the only way stubborn human beings figure out this thing we call life. There are things you just can’t know until you know, for better or worse.

There are some pitfalls you could probably avoid, though, if you’re willing to listen and don’t assume you know everything already – so if you’re in your twenties, you might want to peruse this list of mistakes that don’t have to be made.

13. You want to be able to retire.

Not saving enough money.

Pay yourself first. Don’t work the rest of your life.

“Don’t save what’s left after spending, spend what’s left after saving.”

12. There’s no prize for getting there first.

Life is not a race. It doesn’t matter who’s getting married who’s moved out from parents house who has a kid. You go at your pace. Don’t think you’re behind anyone else.

11. It’s never too late to start.

Not eating right and exercising. The heart attack you have at 50 doesn’t just magically show up. Cardiovascular disease is from years of buildup.

Until I was in my early 40’s I had never run more than 2k at a stretch, was desperately out of shape, overweight and just felt really prematurely old.

I started running and cycling and eating somewhat better when I was about 43. I honestly feel healthier, younger and am definitely way fitter than when I was in my twenties. I also lost that excess weight and just have lots more energy now. A couple of months ago I ran my first marathon, at age 56.

The funny thing is, I hate running. I’ve been doing it for over a decade now but I’ve never enjoyed it. Not for a single minute. But I know what it does to me, which keeps me going.

10. It’s tough to quit.

Don’t pick up smoking.

I am 41 and still smoke. I hate it and am terribly terribly addicted to cigarettes. Biggest mistake of my life was starting at 15.

9. It really does make a difference.

Not getting enough sleep or not having a good sleep schedule.

If and when you can (because money and insurance), get a sleep study! I had terrible sleep patterns through my 20s, did all the tricks you see online. Got a sleep study in my 30s and found two undiagnosed sleep disorders.

It’s a whole new world. You’ll never be able to sort those things out on your own. Sleep makes ALL the difference.

8. Boring but important.

Savings, 401k whatever just invest for yourself.

I told my wife to sign up for when she started her first job since immigrating. It’s been 6 years and she’s got a nice little wad of money socked away.

She’s been telling her coworkers for the past 5 of those 6 years that they should sign up, because the employer match is free money. Plus it earns more by compounded growth. They all say they don’t want to.

She shrugs and says okay.

7. It really is a slippery slope.

Binge drinking. It’s a very easy spiral to go down if you aren’t careful.

I never thought I was an alcoholic, drank anywhere from 1 – 3 times a week. Then Covid hit, and between the stresses of that and the boredom, I started drinking most days. Started to get pains in my right side a few months after my 30th birthday.

Ultrasound showed early stage fatty liver which left untreated can turn to cirrhosis. Fucking liver disease. Haven’t had a drop since I found out. Lost 50lbs, have much clearer mind, and money in the bank. Makes me kick myself a little for not starting this sooner.

6. You can still have fun at concerts.

This comes under ‘looking after your body’ I suppose, but it’s a specific one that is still little known:

Wrecking your ears with excessive noise exposure. Even if you don’t care about losing your hearing, you don’t want catastrophic tinnitus. It’s completely disabling. And nobody tells you that you can get it years or decades after the noise exposure. I just thought, “I’ll knock this off before it gets too bad.”

5. Just keep swimming.

Not making tiny changes and sticking to them! I know that I had an all or nothing attitude in my 20s.

If I tried my hand at painting and my first few attempts were crap, I’d drop it. If I tried saving money and saw how little it was, I’d spend it.

You have to do little things everyday and just don’t stop. It’ll add up in your 30s and you’ll be so grateful even later.

The problem is – many 20 year olds think of 30 and above as not counting somehow. They can’t imagine not being a complete success in their 20s or not being in a perfect relationship in their 20s.

But life goes one. Your 30s are freeing and you’re in a whole different mental space from then on.

Don’t get desperate and stay with an awful person just vecause you’re so ‘old’ and unmarried at 29. Or make decisions that ignore the rest of your life.

Don’t quit studying or learning just cause you’re out of college. If you want a career change, don’t not do an onlieb course or start working towards it because you’ll see a result 5 years from now.

That 5 years will pass and you’ll wish you had done something.

Just keep doing small things.

4. Without fail.

Tanning without sunscreen. That catches up with you when you least expect it.

Not using sunscreen and being careless with my skin is one of my biggest regrets at 32. I smoked cigarettes, drank heavily, ate like shit, and didn’t use sunscreen.

In your 20’s, you just bounce back with hardly any physical consequences and you feel like you’re going to be young forever. All of a sudden, I woke up one day with wrinkles and skin damage that I can’t reverse and is only going to get worse from here on out.

I am still having a hard time accepting it, and it causes a lot of depression and regret in my current life when I look at myself in the mirror.

3. And it’s that way on purpose.

Credit and debt, it’s too easy to buy things you can’t afford.

I wish I understood this in my 20s. I was very careless with money

As you get money you tend to take out credit to get nice things. A sudden change in your career can ruin your life for a while. Be careful about buying things you can’t pay for outright.

2. It’s your biggest organ.

I think mistreating your skin overall though. I think that emphasis on skin health should be a bigger topic of conversation. Everyone talks about exercise and brushing your teeth, but nobody talks about sunscreen use, hydrating and nourishing your skin, etc.

For a while I thought that getting a bunch of creams for my face was too feminine and wasn’t necessary, but with college and just overall stress I started to see my skin look more tired and worn out and dull. So I decided to try out a Korean skincare routine and I will never go back to not taking care of my face or skin in general!

1. You don’t get another.

Treating their body like it’s a rental. Look after it. You will be living in this body for many years to come.

Don’t burn out the clutch by 27 and live with the consequences for 60 more years.

I wish I had heard some of these (or listened when I did) when I was younger.

What advice would you give your twentysomething self? Tell us in the comments!

The post People Discuss the Mistakes Twenty-Somethings Don’t Realize They’re Making appeared first on UberFacts.

She Got a Woman Banned From the Gym for Gross Comments. Was She Wrong?

Some people just don’t know where to draw the line…or when to stop talking.

And this story is a real doozy…

A woman took to Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole?” page to ask if she was wrong for getting someone banned from her gym for making incredibly inappropriate comments.

Take a look at what happened.

AITA for reporting another woman for s*xual comments she made and getting her banned from our gym?

“I have been back to the gym now that we are zero cases in my area. I have been a member of this gym for over 3 years and I regularly work out with two other women. One of the women recently brought along her friend who is new to the area.

The four of us worked out together and everything seemed fine. The problem started when we got into the change room. The woman’s change rooms are open with one section of lockers and benches and one section for showers. The toilets are a completely different room not accessible by the change room.

This layout leaves very little privacy. The showers are all just against a wall with no curtain. This leads to seeing a lot of nude or half-dressed woman.

We all went into the change room together and the new woman immediately made some uncomfortable comments. The first thing she said was “I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven” referencing the undressed state of woman in the room.

I always shower after a workout but the other two women live close to the gym and usually don’t. I went to shower when the others stayed in the change area. Because it’s such a small and open space, even in the showers you can hear the talking the change room.

As I showered I hear that the new woman was making comments about my body. I heard her say “She has my favourite body, flat ti*s and a fat *ss”. “Try calling her name, I want her to turn around so I can see her p*ssy” (I was facing towards the shower head).

The other two woman were laughing and encouraging her comments. I have left out the more innocuous ones due to character limit on the post.

I stayed in the shower until they left. On my way out I stopped by the front desk and asked if I could make a complaint. They took me to the back office and I told the manager, whom I know well, what had happened. She was understanding and told me that the woman would have her (brand new) membership revoked as her comments broke several of the gym rules.

I got a text from one of the woman the next day telling me that her friend had gotten her membership cancelled and was wondering if I knew anything. I was honest and told her that I heard what she had said while I was in the shower and had reported her.

I was called immediately and she seemed both angry and confused. She told me that the girl had just been joking around. That the comments were just to them and I wasn’t meant to hear them. She also called me a stuck up homophobic b*tch.

The other woman also sent me a long message about how disappointed she was in me and she didn’t think that I was “one of those”. She said in her message that I should have come to them before reporting to the gym and the fact I didn’t said a lot about my character.

The messages really have made me feel terrible. I feel like I’ve done something wrong.

Was I the *sshole here?”

This is really gross, if I do say so myself…

And here’s what Reddit users had to say about it.

This person said that this was harassment, plain and simple.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user said that the woman did nothing wrong and that this shouldn’t be tolerated just because it’s between women.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This individual argued that the woman was not wrong getting this person banned and she also isn’t homophobic.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another person didn’t think they were the a-hole.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, this reader argued that sexual harassment doesn’t have anything to do with gender and that the woman was WRONG.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Now we want to hear from you.

What do you think about this situation?

Talk to us in the comments and let us know!

The post She Got a Woman Banned From the Gym for Gross Comments. Was She Wrong? appeared first on UberFacts.

Woman Asks if She’s Wrong for Calling Out Her Friend for Getting an STD

Some things are just off-limits during conversations…even if that dialogue has turned into an argument.

And a woman shared a story on the “Am I the *sshole?” page on Reddit asking whether she was wrong or not for calling out her friend about her s*xual behavior.

Let’s see what happened…

AITA for telling my friend she got an STD from sleeping around?

“I was hanging out with a friend of mine and a group of her friends. We were all talking and having drinks, and the topic of dating comes up in conversation.

For some background information; I’ve only had one boyfriend (I’m 24) we dated for 4 years, and broke up about a year ago. I’m mostly a loner. I’m fine with being single right now and have no interest in dating at the moment. My friend knows this.

She starts lightly teasing me in front of her friends, pretty much calling me a spinster. She “dates” a lot. Every week she tells me about two or so guys that she’s slept with. This kind of started a pile on, where everyone was teasing me, and giving me unsolicited advice. I tried to placate it, but she kept bringing the conversation back to me and my (lack of) a sex life.

Eventually I got really heated, and just said “so is your crotch still burning or is that cleared up? What did they say about that? Was it guy 104 or 105 that gave it to you?”

Like three weeks ago she called me crying to take her to the clinic because she had painful itchy blisters on her groin, turned out to be herpes. I did it without judging her at the time.

She quickly stood up and left the table. I tried to follow her to apologize and she went off about me outing her to her friends. She was telling me how I was the only person she trusted, and she couldn’t believe I would act that way. I tried to remind her how she and her friends were dog piling me, and she said it was just jokes, I didn’t have to react that way.

We are obviously not speaking right now. Was what I did justifiable self defense? I know I probably wouldn’t have done it without liquid courage.”

Here’s how folks reacted on Reddit.

This person said that everyone involved in this story sucks. Plain and simple.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another reader said that everyone is at fault here, but the woman who wrote the post is the bigger *sshole.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another reader argued that the woman went way too far with her comments about her friend.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this Reddit user made a good point: medical issues should never be used against someone.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, this person said that the woman made the wrong choice by making the woman’s issues public and that she is clearly immature and untrustworthy.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think?

Was this person wrong or justified in their actions?

Talk to us in the comments and share your thoughts!

The post Woman Asks if She’s Wrong for Calling Out Her Friend for Getting an STD appeared first on UberFacts.

Should a Person Propose in Public or Private? These 14 People Say It Probably Depends.

You would probably think that marriage proposals would be as unique as the people making and receiving them, but in the past couple of decades it seems to have become some kind of grand gesture, one-up your friends competition to see who can do it up the biggest – and often the most public.

This person thinks they should go back to being private moments between the only two people in the equation who actually matter, if for no other reason than some people are uncomfortable with a big moment like that taking place in front of others.

Private proposals is way better than public proposal from unpopularopinion

And you know, if you’re the one doing the proposing…what if they say no?

These 14 people are weighing in, so let’s find out if this is actually an unpopular opinion at all.

14. That’s something to consider.

I definitely agree with you, but in the case of OP’s argument (I don’t think they’ve come to this conclusion but it’s something I thought of when reading their title), you could make the case that a large number of people see the relatively few public proposals, and think “oh that’s so sweet I wish something like that happened to me,” which falls into the “I only actually want that in a very specific scenario with a very specific person under specific circumstances” that a lot of other “romantic gestures” fall into.

13. Take it from someone who has been there.

I said I wanted to marry my ex fiancé. He proposed in a semi public location and I was embarrassed and had the gut reaction to say no, but said yes. We ended up breaking up a few months later, but he thought he was doing it right. The whole situation was awkward , I hate attention on me and he did it at a busy mini golf course (we used to go mini golfing on every trip we took). I didn’t want random people seeing or congratulating us, so I said yes really quickly and tried to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Next time I get proposed to, I know I’ll be saying yes but I really hope there aren’t a bunch of random strangers around.

12. I’m going to need to see the data on this.

But if you compare the number of public proposals to private proposals, you will find that this actually is a popular opinion.

11. When you’re all mature and stuff.

15+ years ago I was having a beer in the living room with my now wife:

Me: So when are we getting married?

Her: I don’t know…

Me: We should do it this summer, at [beach I grew up on].

Her: What do you mean? We can’t, just, get married….

Me: Sure we can! C’mon, it’ll just be you and me and we’ll get married and it’ll be awesome.

Her: Oh my God! We’re going to get married!!!!

10. There are many more options.

I’d assume private is the more suitable because you can do a lot of stuff in private. Like set up your whole house or take them somewhere beautiful like a mountain range.

9. Most people do talk about it ahead of time.

Another opinion tagged on to yours. Proposals shouldn’t be a “surprise” if you’re surprised that your SO proposed I ask you…what did you think was going to happen? How has this never come up? I understand if the way they proposed is a romantic surprise but if you’re with a person long enough the future, marriage, family, all that shouldve come up

8. It’s all about the likes.

Yah. And they’re plastered in social media. Even the ones I’ve seen on social media are usually pretty intimate settings with close friends. I think only the most vain people prefer super public proposals.

7. You’ve gotta know your partner.

Its all about expectation. Taking your wife to see a zombie movie really only works if your wife likes zombie movies or wants to be scared. If she doesnt like zombies and being scared, then all you have done is just scared her and she will be upset with you. In the same way a proposal is about expectations.

Often enough, a good proposal is never a suprise. The couple has gotten intimate enough that they talk about kids, marriage and long terms plans. They know that they want to get married, the proposal is just a way for the partner to cement it. In this way a proposal only works when the wife expects it, just like taking her to see a zombie movie.

6. As long as you’re on the same page…

And if they say no then it would just be embarrassing and awkward to you.
I think the trick here is to make sure the person you’re proposing wants to marry you and you’re not just asking them in the hopes you’ll surprise them into wanting to do it.

5. Is anyone ever REALLY surprised?

Agreed my girlfriend and I have been chatting about for a few months, now basically we have an idea where we want to get married and have an engagement ring just need to get it professionally cleaned and sized. I find it mind blowing how people don’t know about their SO’s proposal thoughts.

4. A good rule to live by.

Yeah, the actual proposal can be a surprise, but the answer shouldn’t be.

3. He just couldn’t wait. I love it.

Not sure that this is unpopular. But that being said- my fiancé (he proposed LAST NIGHT- still in shock), had a plan for a small proposal with my family.

But he ended up coming to my office after my work day and said he couldn’t wait anymore. It was so perfectly intimate and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

2. This feels very gross.

A lot of the times this is done by manipulative people who feel like the publicity will make sure the partner says yes.

1. Those shouldn’t be done with an audience, either.

Oh…marriage proposal. For the first line or so, I thought you meant proposals to investors or to the planning commission or something.

I have to agree with OP, personally, but if you’re sure your partner loves to do it up big, then go for making a splash.

No skin off my nose.

The post Should a Person Propose in Public or Private? These 14 People Say It Probably Depends. appeared first on UberFacts.

People Respond to the Question, “How Long Do You Wait for a Red Light to Change?”

I think the answer to this question has a lot to do with individual personalities and our aversion to risk. For some of us, breaking rules makes us break out in hives but for others, it’s a thrill.

So, when you’re sitting at an intersection and the red light doesn’t change, and doesn’t change, and…doesn’t…change, how long do you wait before you technically break a law?

These 12 people are confessing, and as I predicted, their answers are all over the board.

12. Make sure you tripped the light…

This is not an answer to your question but it reminded me of something that more drivers need to be aware of. I wish driver’s manuals touched on the importance of pulling all the way up to the stop line. Most people don’t know that there are sensors in the pavement just before the stop line that trigger the lights to change.

These sensors work the same way as the ones at drive throughs. They sense the weight of your car. When a car pulls up to the speaker, the employee gets a beep in their headset so they always know when to take your order. I used to work at a drive thru and some really light vehicles would not trigger the beep. It was usually a small motorcycle (the bigger ones were not a problem). After a while, they’d pull ahead to the window rather annoyed that no one was taking there order.

I’d have to apologize and explain that their vehicle was to light to set off the sensor. Lol. At an intersection, if there are no cars on the stop line across the road and no pedestrians pushing the walk button, the traffic lights will not change. You will sit there forever and probably run the light eventually. You’ll notice this at night when there is little traffic.

During the day, you’ll rarely notice because there is constantly another car or a pedestrian triggering the lights to change. I’ve been stuck behind someone who stopped short of the stop line a few times. It can get a little frustrating. Spread the word ?

11. Only a first time driver.

This happened to me decades ago. I was seventeen. I’d had my full license for a year, and had driven on a learners permit with an adult in the car for almost a year before.

I had an after school job about 10 miles from home (we lived in the suburbs of DC.) There was no direct bus service from home or my school, to work, so I drove myself.

For months, there was no traffic light at a particular intersection where I had to make a left turn from a heavily traveled secondary road onto a four lane divided highway. The intersection was just below the crest of a hill to the left, making it difficult to see oncoming traffic. At night, it was easier, because you could see the sweep of someone’s headlights coming, once they rounded a curve on the other side of the hill and before you could see their car.

The county decided to put in a traffic light at that intersection. For almost three weeks, the light was not turned on. Then, it was turned on, but set to flashing red on the smaller road, and flashing yellow on the highway. This meant it was still treated as a stop sign for the smaller road.

A friend lived near my job and would often came home from work with me on Friday afternoon. I would drive her back to her house, usually after dinner. On a particular Friday in October, the light was still on flash when we left for my house, but when I took her home that evening the light had apparently been turned on. It was solid red for the feeder road, and green for the highway when we arrived at the intersection.

Luckily no one came up behind us. We waited 10 minutes (we timed it) before I made the decision to treat the light as a stop sign.

After waiting for a clear space on the right, and making sure there were no cars or lights visible from the left, I made my left turn onto the highway and proceeded east.

Immediately after doing so, a car zoomed passed in the west-bound lanes at a very high rate of speed. My friend remarked that she wished a cop was around because ‘that guy’ was clearly speeding.

About two miles down the road, east-bound, I was pulled over and given a ticket by a cop in an unmarked car. The ticket was for running a red light.

Because I was under eighteen, I couldn’t just pay the ticket, I had to go to court, and a parent had to go with me. I had told my dad what happened. He said, only I could explain it to the judge.

I went prepared. The judge first asked the policeman to detail why he gave me a ticket. He said as he was driving west on the highway, a car popped out, ran a red light and turned left in front of him,

When called, I admitted I had run a red light, but asked if I could explain why.

In short, I said this – “I had driven that route at least five days a week for the past year and a half. The light in question was newly installed. It been set on flash for weeks, but only that evening when I came to it, it was solid red. I had waited for more than ten minutes, then decided to treat is as a stop sign.

The judge had a chalkboard in the courtroom. I asked if I could diagram the intersection. I drew a curving highway, pointed out the crest of the hill, and explained that if the officer had been traveling at the speed limit at the time I made my turn, he could not have seen me pull out of the intersection without me seeing his headlights coming from the left first.

The judge addressed my dad who said I’d never been in trouble, and to the best of his knowledge that I was a conscientious driver.

The judge dismissed my ticket. He told me if I ever came to a light like that again, I should wait all night rather than run the red light.

The judge also said, in open court, that he personally knew that intersection and if what I described was true, the officer (who was present) should pay more attention to his own driving.

The next time I met that particular cop, he was driving a marked car. For at least a year after the red light incident, he made it a practice to pull me over every few weeks or so, just “to check my license.”

10. Just read the manual.

I think (not 100% certain) that every US state has a driving manual that states what to do for an inoperative light.

The standard circumstance is to treat it like a stop sign and go when it’s safe to do so.

But there are things to consider in determining whether a light is actually inoperative.

Watch the lights to confirm any change in cycles, including changes in cross traffic lights. Wait several minutes. Some lights can have a 5 minute delay. It’s maddening, but I’ve seen it happen.

Make sure the light is not red because of a nearby railroad. This happens a lot in my city, and a train can make the red light last for a minute or so even after the train has passed.

Do not call 911 unless you’re reporting an accident. 911 dispatchers need to address emergencies, not traffic regulation. You can call a non-emergency law enforcement line. In the US, 411 is the number to dial for information services. It’s automated, so just ask for the police department of the city you think you’re in. Again. Do not dial 911.

If you get pulled over and ticketed for running a red light, do not pay the fine. Instead, go to the hearing and explain what happened. Most judges will drop it.

I knew somone who ran a red light because it was at an intersection where several people were loitering. The area was notorious for waiting for cars to stop at a red light, and people would go so far as to break a window in order to rob the driver. My friend slowed to make sure there wasn’t any side traffic, then she ran the light. She did call 911 to report the gang at that intersection, and that was an acceptable use of 911 services.

Be patient. Be diligent. Be cautious. Be safe.

9. I would never wait ten minutes. Lol!

Over 35 years ago this happened to me. And I got a ticket, tried to fight it and lost.

Myself and 3 friends where headed home on Main Street at about 12:30 am. As we approached the last light on the south end of town it was red so we stopped and waited, and waited and waited. With no other traffic in sight the light stayed red for us for over ten minutes. We even tried stupid things like backing up a few car lengths and pulling forward again. When that did not work one of my friends got out the passenger side door and started jumping up and down in the other lane like it had a pressure sensor. Obviously that did not work. So after being stuck at the red light for over 15 minutes and had not seen one other car I decided to drive through. I was not even half way through the intersection when the police lights came on. Sitting part way down the block in the dark was a cop just waiting for someone to go through. As he lectured us on being safe and the entire time he had us detained we kept referencing that the light still have not changed. All he said was it did not matter.

When I went to court to contest I explained the entire situation to the judge he said he was aware of the broken light and had spoken with the police officer, who was not in the court room, and informed me that I could have turned right and made a U-turn and turn right again. I agreed that was an option but I explained I was in the left lane and that would have required me to make a right hand turn from the left-hand lane. He said it was safer than going through the light. I said there was no traffic for miles and the police officer had been waiting for someone to go through the broken light.

At that point I realized nothing I said or did was going to change the out come. So I said I have nothing else to say and was fined double the ticket for …. As the judge put it “wasting the courts time”

8. I’m off to read my rule book.

How about when it is actually legal to do so?

Back in NH, just about all of the traffic signals are ”on command” – they have a default configuration where they yield a green light to one set of traffic, and only change when they detect a vehicle waiting at the light.

They detect vehicles via inductive loops placed into the road, and they are usually placed right before and up to the “stop lines” at the intersections. (Which screws up people that like to pull past the lines, because they may not be detected and will be waiting a long time for that light to change. But I digress.)

Anyway, these loops are often tuned for automobile traffic and are sometimes not sensitive enough to detect a motorcycle waiting at the light. Or they might not be placed correctly due to construction error, repainting of lines that move them sightly, obstruction in the lane (like a manhole cover), etc.

NH has (or had last time I checked) a law/regulation that allowed a motorcycle to “run” the light if it does not change within a “reasonable” amount of time. If there was no other traffic present, the light would usually change within 10 seconds.

Had to do it a few times in the past. Never got ticketed, nor would I have expected to.

7. If you want to get technical about it.

The average traffic light in America cycles every 120 seconds. Some 10 or 20 seconds longer, many much shorter.

Personally I will wait 4 minutes. If the light hasn’t cycled by then it’s malfunctioning. Treat it as a 4 way Stop sign and proceed with caution. Especially if drivers going the other way are starting to go as well. A little caution and courtesy and people can work it out until a Cop comes and pulls out the “Pickle” and resets the light.

No Cop would write a ticket for that that I ever knew and my department had 2000 sworn Cops. I also am Certified in 3 States and know of nobody who would (that said there is no accounting for the dicks of the world…know what I mean?). So never say never. Highly unlikely. Especially if traffic has backed up a bit and it’s obvious what’s going on isn’t just you being impatient. If you wanna be super safe look at your car clock and actually time out 4 minutes. Then you can say I pulled up to this light which was already red and sat here from 2:04 to 2:08 and nothing happened.

BTW…if you want to know what a “Pickle” is I will tell you. At every intersection with an Electric Control device (a light instead of a sign) you will find on a pole a metal box the size of a College mini fridge. It is called a “Traffic Box”. Cops are given a Traffic Box key to open it. Inside is a remote control on a cord that looks like the cord from the old phone you used to have in your kitchen. This remote is called a “Pickle”. It has buttons that allow you to control the Traffic Light manually. Cops use it to over ride the cycle and clear out traffic when there is a jam. You let the problem road run and run for 5 minutes or more then every once and awhile let the secondary road run a bit to clear out the few people waiting to cross the intersection. It is a very effective way to clear out a big traffic jam at an intersection.

6. Someone’s full of opinions.

Many many many years ago I went for a “ride along” with a policemen. (I write scripts) Anyway I was not to “Interfere in anyway.” At about 3am in the morning we came up behind a car stopped at a red light that never changed. We could see miles in both directions. Finally the car went through the light and the policeman turned on his lights. I became very vocal at that point. I remember saying something about “What, is it against the law to show a modicum of intelligence?” along with a continuing tirade of other opinions. The officer reminded me of my commitment and I shut my mouth.

After he came back to the car I was totally silent. After a while he made a comment to the effect that wasn’t I going to ask if he gave the motorist a ticket. Sarcasm being one of my strong points I said, “So, did you reinforce their opinion that all cops are idiots?” He didn’t answer. After a long silence I apologized for the crass comment and did ask if he gave the motorist a ticket. He did not.

He might not have stopped if I had not been in the car, then again he may have given the ticket if I had not been in the car.

5. They’re still cowboys in Texas.

The answer is probably different from one state to the next. In Texas, it’s written into the state traffic code that if a traffic signal is not working, it is legal to proceed with caution when it’s safe to do so.

The tricky part is this: many traffic signals are triggered by some type of traffic sensing device. In some places it’s a camera-like device mounted overhead, but in most places, it’s a wire loop embedded in the pavement that senses chances in the magnetic field they generate. These can be really problematic for motorcycle riders, especially if they’ve done some street maintenance that involves adding a layer of asphalt without replacing the magnetic loop. The loop will still work fine for cars and trucks, but once it’s too deep in the asphalt, it won’t register the presence of a motorcycle, particularly a more modern one with an aluminum frame instead of a steel frame. There just isn’t enough ferrous metal in a motorcycle to trigger a magnetic loop that’s embedded too deep in the pavement. In the state of Texas, state law requires triggered traffic signals to be able to detect and respond to the presence of a motorcycle, but I have encountered many signals that will not. You could be stuck there for a very long time before a car or truck comes along behind you to trigger it. So technically, the signal is not working as required by Texas state law. However, the cops may well be completely unaware that it’s not functioning properly because it still works just like it’s supposed to for cars and trucks. So they could easily ticket you if you run one on a motorcycle because they may not believe you when you tell them the light is not working properly.

I have, on more than one occasion called city hall where I live to complain about tripped lights that do not detect my motorcycle. Their standard response is “those magnetic loops are not designed to detect a motorcycle,” which is a load of crap because the office where I work is a gated complex where there is a magnetic loop in the pavement controlling the exit gate, and it’s never had a problem with my motorcycle. After arguing with them that they are wrong, I finally quote, chapter and verse from the state traffic code that these lights MUST be able to detect a motorcycle. When I threaten legal action based on state law, they finally do something…..but instead of repairing the magnetic loop so that it functions properly, their answer has always been to change the light so that it’s timed instead of being triggered by traffic.

4. So you’re just supposed to sit there forever?

In my state (New Jersey) the basic philosophy in most precincts is that running a red light is running a red light. If a cop sees you running a light for any reason, you will be ticketed. If your excuse is that the light was broken, they don’t want to hear it. This actually happened to my office manager some years ago. She fought the ticket, and lost. Had she taken time to document that the light was nonfunctional (with a video, for example, or a series of time-stamped still photos) she might have had a shot. But I doubt it.

You have to keep in mind that the vast majority of traffic citations have nothing at all to do with traffic safety; they are revenue generators — an easy way to raise cash without raising taxes. Cops have quotas (oh, yes they do), and roughly 90% of the tickets they write are complete BS. Be especially careful of motorcycle cops — that’s coveted duty, and if they don’t write a minimum of 20 tickets (an entire book) per shift, they get busted back to patrol cars. Nobody writes BS tickets like motorcycle cops. Cynical, but true.

Should you encounter a frozen red light situation, common sense says if 5 or 10 minutes elapse and the light is still red, treat it like a 4-way stop sign and proceed with caution. But if you’re in the Garden State, make really sure there are no cops around — and no stoplight cameras on the poles — before you run the light.

An alternative strategy is to make a right turn — which is always legal, unless you’re in New York City, or there is a sign prohibiting right turns on red — and basically go around the block.

3. Every situation is different.

Are the lights red in both directions? They are supposed to blink, but if not, I’d wait a couple minutes and then treat it as a four way stop.

But if only my side lights stay red, it requires more thought. The traffic affects my choices.

If possible, turn right on red, then find a u turn or turnaround location to get back to the intersection and continue.

But often, you won’t be in the right lane of a multi lane road. Turning right from the left lane, especially a left turning lane, could be a traffic law violation too. As well as being dangerous if traffic is present.

When traffic is present, even the right turn can be a problem. If there are vehicles waiting behind you, the situation also gets complicated.

You could try calling the local police, and get advice or wait for assistance.

But that will take time, and would waste police time if you could safely pass through the intersection during a break in traffic.

I would usually wait through about three normal light cycles, about three minutes. I might go a little earlier if there is no visible traffic, especially late at night, and more especially in big city where unruly pedestrians might take advantage of a stopped vehicle.

Motorcycles don’t always trigger the road sensors, so they can run into this situation more often. But very large vehicles like buses and trucks have another problem.

Doing a u turn or finding a location to turn around is often impossible. On a highway, the next intersection could be miles away. Turning right from the left lane could risk hitting other stopped vehicles in that direction, and the intersection layout may make it hard to do the turn without crossing the oncoming lane, and its traffic Island.

I’ve run into this problem at a highway intersection where there is a light after the ramp. Traffic backs up because you are waiting, and you know you can’t safely do anything other than turn left as planned or go straight. Your vehicle will hit something if you turn right, crossing the median if nothing else.

The only safe thing to do is wait until there is no traffic, and proceed carefully through.

2. You’ve gotta stand up for yourself.

This actually happened to me on a Thanksgiving morning some twenty years ago. I waited and waited and waited at a red light at an exit from my neighborhood. The main street was virtually deserted. After waiting several times more than what I knew the cycle of the light to be, I once again looked for traffic in both directions, saw zero cars in motion and pulled out making a left-hand turn…

And immediately got pulled over.

I explained to the officer how I had waited an unreasonably long time at the light, that I come out at that light every day and know how long the cycle is, that it was Thanksgiving morning and I was in no hurry to get anywhere, that I had used every safety precaution before making the turn, etc. He wrote me a ticket.

So I went to court. When they finally called my name, the officer and I stood facing the judge. The judge asked me what happened and I said exactly what I told the officer. The judge turns to the officer and said, “Is that what he told you?” The officer said it was. Then the judge asked him why he had given me a ticket at all and dismissed it.

I had to take the ticket to the administrative counter. The clerk there looked at the dismissed ticket and said, “The judge must be in a good mood today.” I replied, “Or maybe it was a ticket that should have never been issued in the first place.”

I knew I was right, but that in no way means anyone ever agrees with me. I was really surprised at how it turned out, considering the purpose of the police force of this small town was to generate revenue to pay for the police force to generate revenue to pay for the police force…

Eventually the small town was unincorporated and the police force was disbanded, but I’m still here and still feel vindicated.

1. It’s almost like he was waiting for someone.

In Indiana they recently passed a law called the stale light law where if you sit through one full cycle of the light and it doesn’t change, you can them proceed with caution. When I was about 22–23 I was on my way home from work on my crotch rocket. I’ll admit I took the long extra time way home and went for a ride at night. I only had my permit which you’re not supposed to ride at night, your also not supposed to have a passenger and you’re supposed to be wearing a helmet.

It was about 11:30pm and I my defense I did get off work late that day. I pulled up to a turn lane and say there in the past for about 4–5 minutes before someone pulled up behind me and the light turned. This time however I was tired and ready to go home and shower as it was a hot day and muggy night and I’m not a small guy so I was sweaty and stinky. I sat there for about 45 seconds to a minute then I went.

Sure enough there was a sheriff sitting in the church parking lot. He immediately hit the light and siren on me. I was only 2 streets away from home and still had my work shirt on. He asked me where I was going and I told him. He said well you ran the red light. I acknowledged that fact and told him I’ve sat numerous times at the light waiting. He told me with a permit I couldn’t be riding at night. I told him I just off work. He told me I had my helmet but it wouldn’t do me any good strapped to the side of my bike(he’s right).

Mid conversation he got a call and told me I was lucky he did and if he hadn’t my bike was going to be impounded. He told me to get home, in not so nice of terms. He put his car in reverse, hit the lights and sirens and burned out. I was lucky. The next day I went and got my endorsement.

I’m probably somewhere in the middle, myself, but there’s nothing worse than being stuck at that light behind someone who is less of a risk-taker than you are!

What’s your answer? Lay it on us in the comments!

The post People Respond to the Question, “How Long Do You Wait for a Red Light to Change?” appeared first on UberFacts.

People Shared Their Hacks for Forging Ahead When Life Gets Hard

It was Martin Luther King, Jr. who said, “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” To me, this means that no matter what life throws at you, you have to remember that the future is where you’re headed, so there’s nothing to do but shake loose of the past and head forward as best as you can.

This can be tough to do, and while I do believe everyone should have their fair chance to wallow, once that’s done it’s time to put on your big boy pants or swipe on some lipstick (or both) and put one foot (or knee or elbow or hand) in front of the other until you can run again.

If you’d like some advice on how to get that done from some folks who have been through the wringer, these 12 unique perspectives just might serve as inspiration.

12. A popular tactic.

This is a real tactic and works well. I always tell myself I have to do 2 things everyday.

Depending on the day, it could be just getting out of bed and feeding myself.

On better days, it’s getting some work done and doing dishes.

Just committing to 2 things sounds simple, so it helps keep me to it.

11. That’s the way you make it.

My career. I feel like I’m flying now but holy smokes did I start off as a slow crawl though…

10. It really happens faster than you think.

Exercise.

A couple months ago I was crawling, now I’m walking.

Doubt I’ll ever be flying, but at least I’m stronger than I was.

9. It’s a major accomplishment.

This is extremely minor, but I completed a 5k. I’m not a runner. In fact I hate running. I have short legs and small feet. I’m slow and overweight. I did train, albeit not much.

I started the race by running until I was out of breath (1/2 mile in). Then it was intermittent walking and running until the end. I was the second to last person to finish, but I didn’t care. It was one of the best highs I’ve ever had. It felt good to accomplish something I always told myself I would do someday, but never worked up the courage to try. I was proud of myself.

8. You do it because you have to.

This is going to sound stupid to most who haven’t been through it but my (ex) husband of 17 years cheated on me with my best friend. It’s all so cliche. We had two preteen boys that he didn’t want anything to do with.

Somehow I kicked him out of the house. Didn’t accept his fake apologies. And then watched my run turn into a walk, then a crawl. I dragged us through every day. It happened the last two weeks of school and I still went to their end of the year award programs and smiled even though neighbors were whispering and I hosted birthday parties minus a parent and I taught one to drive.

I am not completely sure how I was strong enough but I brought us all forward in those dark days. I wasn’t going to let this affect them. And now, even with their dad living three miles away with his new family and acting like they don’t exist, I crawl, with them on my back.

7. Terrible to have to do it alone.

When I was 22 I lost my leg due to a suicide attempt and becoming an amputee as a result of my own stupid actions was extremely difficult but I decided I was going to keep living and really see what I could do with the time and resources I have.

I always thought I was too stupid and ugly to do anything with my life but once there wasn’t much left to lose I got my shit together stopped being a victim and now I’m 25 going to school, clean and sober, no friends or girlfriend or family really but I’m content being alone with my thoughts and I think my prosthetic looks pretty badass.

6. How can one person go through all of this?

My wife died June 2015, I lost my job the same moment she passed because I was her in home caretaker for 3 years because she was in a persistent vegetative state, I got addicted to methamphetamines again after 22 years of sobriety, my service dog of 10 years died, I survived an attempted murder from two people with rebar and wound up with brain damage and a broken neck.

I got evicted because I couldn’t afford any more to live in our town home, I walked away from 30 years of memories because I had no where to store anything, I spent two and a half years homeless living on the streets and in shelters, and the majority of everything that happens to me happened in six months.

I finally got on social security for schizoaffective disorder that I got from using drugs after my wife died, and I finally got a home again back in September. The point is I got through it all because I kept moving forward.

5. It’s not stopping, it’s just a pause.

I rode my bike across the US. Most of it solo.

In the middle of Missouri, I just … had enough. I stopped on some guys lawn and just cried. He came out and asked me what was up and I explained how far I’d come (started in San Fransisco) and that I was just done.

He told me to ride into town (I think Springfield?) which was only 10 miles away and take a few days off and rest. Which is what I did, because hey, one more day wouldn’t matter, and the worst that would happen is that I’d pack it in and go home.

Well, a day of rest seemed to be exactly what I needed. I spent a whole day (or most of it, anyway) in blessed air conditioning, ate all the food, drank all the water, and was more or less ready to go again.

I took a few more one-day breaks between Missouri and Williamsburg, VA which really helped me out.

So yeah, one step back, two steps forward.

4. You never know where your path might begin.

Graduated high school in ’01, tried the 4yr university thing. Was really depressed and didn’t go to class much because of it. After the first semester dropped out and enlisted. 3 years later I’m medically discharged.

Worked multiple shit jobs wile attending CC, find a somewhat decent job while nearing the completion of my associates, then the recession happens. Finish my associates while spending a year on unemployment. Unemployment runs out and I decide to hold off on trying to transfer to finish my 4yr degree.

Get a job at gas station, month later promoted to assistant manager, 8mo later, I’m store manager. Year later leave for a contractor position at a bank doing ATM support. About a year later im hired on as an employee. 5.5 years later im in a new salaried role doing data analysis and finishing my degree.

3. May he find someone to lean on one day.

Living tbh.

My parents never believed (and still don’t) that depression is a real thing, so they never got me help when I was younger.

I’m 30 now and still crawling on.

2. One thing each day.

After my mom died, I set a single goal to do something productive each day.

For awhile it was getting out of bed. Then it was brushing my hair. Then it was cooking something to eat.

As each little thing graduated from my “thing” for the day to just habit, I would add a new thing. It took awhile to be functional again.

It really did feel like I was crawling when everyone else was running.

1. It’s the same way I write novels.

A while back I was trying to make an app, learning from scratch it was hard to find time around work, friends, girlfriend etc but I had the mantra of if I’ve only got 10 minutes then do 10 minutes.

The actual 10 minutes didn’t achieve much but it kept it in my mind and when I had a spare couple of hours, I was in the mindset to do that couple of hours and over the months my project gradually grew and grew

Eventually I got out of the habit and the app got less and less attention so it never got finished. I’m furloughed right now, maybe its a good time to get crawling again.

People are really so strong when they need to be, don’t you think?

What’s your own personal example of a moment like this? Share the story with us down in the comments.

The post People Shared Their Hacks for Forging Ahead When Life Gets Hard appeared first on UberFacts.

Check Out People’s Thoughts on Why the Body Positive Movement Is More Focused on Weight Than Physical Deformities

For a lot of folks, the body positive movement has been a godsend.

For too long, society in general – and some professions, like the medical field, specifically – have made it really, really hard to be happy living as someone perceived as being “overweight.”

This questioner wants to know why we’re more focused on making fat people feel accepted and beautiful than we are on making people with scars, amputated limbs, or other deformities feel the same way.

Why is body positivity focused on fat people instead of amputees and people with scars? from NoStupidQuestions

These 14 people are going to give them a talking to, so let’s just hear what they have to say.

Let’s take a look!

14. There’s a bigger picture here.

I think something people tend to miss with any movement geared towards uplifting groups in a minority or underrepresented category (whether that’s a racial, gendered, sexual, size etc) is seeing the larger societal issues why that is necessary to begin with and therefore make a bunch of false equivalence or try to in some way invalidate the necessity of these things based on actions of some people.

Clearly, telling people go eat a sandwich or disparaging thinner people isn’t okay at all and no true body positive people who genuinely understand and dedicate themselves to this work in a socially conscious and informed way would do this. But also, the point is no matter how many times certain people tell a skinny person to eat a sandwich, even if that person feels badly about it, the images, the representation, the idea that thin is desirable, etc are still the dominant images in our society and on a whole society rewards thinness.

Which is the key issue people should realize. Is that movements like this are pointing out what society has promoted as desirable and the norm in its images and representation and messages we all get over and over and over that tells us who are the normal, acceptable, good, beautiful, smart people. Movements are trying to shift these ideas and diversify them and people tend to not think about it on such a macro scale. A fat person can hurt a skinny person’s feelings potentially, however, it is still going to be true that in everyday life, as you watch tv, as you scroll Reddit, everything you do, thin will still be reflected back to you in most of your media and interactions and societal beliefs and practices as what’s beautiful and desirable.

13. It’s meant to be for everyone.

Originally the body positivity movement was mostly for the anatomical differences not relating to weight: face deformities, amputees, scars, stretch marks etc. But then the movement expanded to things such as height and weight as we became more open-minded as a community.

Regarding overweight people, it was sort of hijacked, whether you were overweight or underweight it was about accepting who you are, as an individual not as a collective to help with body dysmorphia and that just because your body isn’t model-material you are still worth it.

That isn’t to say they are healthy or unhealthy, it’s just about being comfortable. It wasn’t about promoting “this is what everyone should look like” which is what you’re referring to via “obesity is healthy” it is about saying I like how I look, that’s it. Just a small minority has taken the movement too far.

12. Because it applies to so many of us.

I would also add that just in general like 60% of the population is overweight or obese in America while there aren’t anywhere near as many amputees, scar victims etc.

Not saying it’s right but it’s sorta not surprising to me that group is the loudest in the community given there is probably millions more people who identify with it through that lens.

11. Everyone should love themselves.

I’m personally a big fan of the body neutrality movement. It completely takes away the hyper focus on one’s body and is more about accepting yourself and others as is and then moving on.

It’s not as extreme but you still feel good in your own skin.

10. Wouldn’t that be nice.

Yeah, I believe the real message is/should be “If you are fat, you are still worthy of kindness and respect as a human being, but it’s not healthy”.

9. Not everyone is beautiful.

I think it’s much better because body “positivity” can feel so forced sometimes and ultimately is still very appearance based.

Trying to shove this idea that “everyone is cute/beautiful/attractive” I think is actually pretty shitty, because #1. attractiveness may be subjective and beauty standards may change, but if the majority of people do not find someone attractive, insisting that they are anyway is just weird and obviously an attempt to make them feel better, it’s not the truth. And #2. being attractive shouldn’t be as important to our self-worth as it is.

There are so many other qualities that are more important that attractiveness that should come first, intelligence, kindness, perseverance, diligence, empathy, talent, sense of humor, and so on…it goes for everyone, but women especially need to be valued for so many other things before their attractiveness, because then when some of them aren’t attractive, it should not be this horrible, destructive, ultimate insult.

Body neutrality acknowledges all of that, body positivity ignores it and is basically condescension.

8. It’s that simple.

This is the entire essence of body positivity. I have no idea how it happened, but suddenly everyone thinks that it’s about fat people forcing thin people to find them beautiful and attractive.

But no, it’s literally about not being a d*ck to someone just because they’re either underweight or overweight. That’s it.

7. It’s also about a person’s appearance not qualifying their existence.

Just heading this by saying that I do think the fat acceptance movement can, occasionally promote unhealthy behaviours, or not be exactly receptive to criticism. I don’t approve of 100% of the things ‘those people’ do.

But there’s also the very good point that prejudice against overweight people is sort of shitty because there is an assumption against a person’s character or worth based on their weight.

Overweight people are considered to be lazy, unmotivated, even stupid sometimes – because there is an assumption that, because someone can’t manage their diet, there must be some moral failing.

Ultimately, however, there can be dozens of reasons for being overweight. Plenty of these reasons might be within someone’s control on a technical level, but addiction to food is real, especially when we live in societies that make healthy eating difficult and sugary foods plentiful. Eating disorders exist in the other direction, too.

It can also simply be that a person’s life doesn’t assist them. Their metabolism is slow and they work a sedentary desk job with a full family to look after. We all have points of health that we don’t prioritize for other things. That’s normal in an extremely busy society built around the morality of productivity.

Obesity can be co-morbid with other conditions. Fun fact: Someone with ADHD is roughly four times likely to be obese, because in some cases, their brain is so under stimulated that they go and snack/eat on an almost subconscious level. Depression is another big, obvious one.

Very few reasons for being overweight are just “this person is a bad human being”, and the movement is right to point that out. As such, shaming people who are overweight like they have morally failed or that they’re “just lazy” is inaccurate. People are often overweight because there are other facets of their lives that factor into it, be they genetic, societal, mental, etc.

Basically: being obese is not good for you, but it doesn’t make you a bad person, undeserving of love, unable to feel attractive, and lazy, and they’re right to point this out.

Otherwise the obese = healthy argument falls flat.

6. You can eat.

Original body positivity was largely centered around a reaction to Heroin Chic.

There was basically an anorexia epidemic in the early 90’s, and every model or actress you saw was like a coat rack. Every magazine for girls or young women was full of images of impossibly thin girls, and diet tips on how to get even skinnier.

It became so that many girls, and some boys, couldn’t see themselves as human beings, and there was a big movement to say no, actually it’s ok to be a normal weight. You can eat.

And then that became the message that fat activists stole.

It was all originally started with heroin chic

5. Health, mental and physical, is the goal.

I think all of this is a primary reason why some people have stopped talking about body positivity per se, and gone to the “heath at every size” approach, where it’s not even so much about any body type as it is about engaging in healthy behavior no matter what our size is, which I think is not a bad approach because it gets around the idea that my thin/young friends can eat empty calorie fast food all the time but it’s not a problem because they’re thin.

4. It’s about respect.

Body positivity was never supposed to be “everyone is equally beautiful, and if you’re not attracted to an overweight person you’re fatphobic” (a claim that’s so subjective and hard to convince everyone of).

The original point was “despite what anyone’s outward appearance or health is, everyone deserves to be treated and respected as a human being, and you are allowed to demand people treat you like a human despite your body”.

The thing that’s so frustrating about the shift is that now it’s just a argument of “they look like a supermodel!” “No they’re a whale!” Which takes focus away from the much more important fact that the person in question is in no way devalued as a person because of their weight.

3. How about we just don’t talk about people’s weight.

The way you take these comments kind of depends on on your background.

I, for example, was teased a lot by my family growing up for being so skinny/wimpy. My dad and brothers would make fun of my biceps by calling them “mouse stomachs” and my sister would recite a jingle from a popular movie that goes “chamber of bones nr. 1” whenever my twigs for limbs would be exposed. They obviously didn’t mean anything by it, but in the mind of a child that means skinny=bad.

Therefore, even to this day, whenever someone says “you’re really skinny”, I can not take that as a compliment, even though it might have been intended as one (for example, once it was followed by “like a model”, which would indicate a positive intent behind the comment).

I imagine this being even more so the case for men.

2. It could just be the numbers.

Also, there are way more fat people than there are people with deformities. Their voices have the power to drown anyone else out on social media as a consequence.

This isn’t on purpose, but more people post and more people empathize with people who are fat because they are the majority.

1. Seriously, just stop.

The way you take these comments kind of depends on on your background.

I, for example, was teased a lot by my family growing up for being so skinny/wimpy. My dad and brothers would make fun of my biceps by calling them “mouse stomachs” and my sister would recite a jingle from a popular movie that goes “chamber of bones nr. 1” whenever my twigs for limbs would be exposed. They obviously didn’t mean anything by it, but in the mind of a child that means skinny=bad.

Therefore, even to this day, whenever someone says “you’re really skinny”, I can not take that as a compliment, even though it might have been intended as one (for example, once it was followed by “like a model”, which would indicate a positive intent behind the comment).

I imagine this being even more so the case for men.

Why not make, I don’t know, everyone feel good about themselves, hmm?

What’s your take? Drop it in the comments!

The post Check Out People’s Thoughts on Why the Body Positive Movement Is More Focused on Weight Than Physical Deformities appeared first on UberFacts.

Hairdressers Share the Things You Should Stop Doing at Your Appointments

Even if you love your hairdresser, who maybe even calls them a friend, there’s a good chance you’ve been uncomfortable in that chair a time or two. It’s an odd relationship, or power dynamic, or something.

If you’re wondering if you do something that’s weird or wrong under the cape, these 16 hairdressers are letting it all hang out.

And listen. They’re also going to tell you the things you’re doing right.

16. Be honest.

Just be honest! I have plenty of clients who like to bring a book or their laptop, or even just chill quietly while I’m doing their hair & I appreciate those folks just as much (if not more so sometimes) than the talkers.

I would say most of us try to make conversation at all costs because it’s what’s expected of us (I have known stylists who have been told they were “rude” and left bad reviews just for being quiet/reserved people even if the haircut was good, which is dumb)… but I definitely have no qualms about just being quiet & doing my thing. In many cases I would prefer it, hahaha.

15.  Just trust them.

I love it when people say do whatever you want. It’s my job then to ask questions and see what style and color would work for your life style.

I give people what I think they will maintain as well as something flattering.

14. Check your wardrobe.

I see a lot of good ones on here, but one that might not have been said is DON’T WEAR A HOODIE or a turtleneck, if you can take it off, fine but they both Get in the way a lot if I’m trying to cut/color your hair.

Also your hair doesn’t need to be dirty for me to style it. In fact I would REALLY prefer if it was clean. And it also doesn’t need to be dirty/clean/covered in coconut oil for me to color it. Just come in with normal dry hair.

13. They can’t work miracles.

My friend is a hairdresser and her biggest complaint is unrealistic expectations. People want to go from dark brown to platinum in one session, bright pink hair that never fades, amazing rainbow hair from a heavily filtered photo on Instagram….

It’s mostly about expectations e.g. if you want blue hair then expect bleach damage and split ends, be prepared to spend money on colour safe shampoo, conditioner, hair treatments, maintain it regularly, change your pillowcases, etc. Don’t blame your hairdresser if you go swimming for hours and your hair turns green.

12. Stop trying to talk over the blow dryer.

Like people have said above, have realistic expectations. Just because Sally was able to go from black to blonde in one appointment, doesn’t mean you can. Your hair isn’t Sally’s.

It’s always helpful when you bring in pictures of styles you like, and just as helpful when you have an idea of styles you hate.

Please don’t talk with your head, it’s frustrating trying to keep the tension on the hair, on a client that moves their head just as much as their mouth lol.

I also 99% time can’t hear you when blow drying, and it’s bloody impossible to have a conversation when blow drying now we all have to wear masks lol

11. Just sit still.

Lifting your head in the shampoo bowl! Don’t do that.. That’s how we end up soaking the back of your shirt!

10. There are stylists that specialize in textured hair.

Maybe this sounds harsh but: They more than likely style it straight because they don’t know how to handle textured hair, even if its “only” wavy. I worked at a curly-specialized salon where our intent was to avoid interfering with the hair’s natural texture as much as we could.

Most hairdressers are trained on straight-haired models and techniques, and will actively do things to straighten not-straight hair so it is easier for them to work with.

If you want to preserve and foster your natural texture, mention this to your stylist. but also maybe check around for places that are curly-friendly (be aware: sometimes “curly” salons specialize in things like chemical straightening, this is not what you’re looking for!)

9. Come natural.

im a barber not a hairdresser but yeah pretty much *same thing*

most things have been said already. but a couple i want to add to. washing hair is important. if you cant its not the end of the world. especially if its apart of the service you are about to get. a washed head of hair puts all hair in its natural state makes it so much easier to cut and get a better end result (this also applied with hats if you wear a hat and take it off your hair has been pushed into an unnatural position and a clipper and our combes wont be able to make it go normal)

but damn dont come in when you have a product in your hair that isnt suppose to be in your hair.
i had a client once who came in wanting a 0 fade and he said i dont want anything done to the top (when he said i had a sigh of relief). why? he seem to have styled his hair with some kind of glue. there was no way the stuff he had in his hair was for hair. even so i finished the fade didint do anything on top, i asked him all is good, he said yes all is good, but can you take some off the top just a bit? i said no there is no way thats possible with whats in your hair. he insisted that i tried, so i wet down his hair knowing it wasnt going to work (but to prove a point) and it rolled odd his hair. i did this a fair amount, and said i cant even attempt to try. and ended up telling him if i was to try it would be a lot more expensive to cover the cost of new scissors.
(also bear in mind this was during covid lockdown and at the time we werent allowed to wash peoples hair either so that was out of the question)

also children if your child either hates having his hair cut or moves a lot. dont expect a fantastic hair cut. if you really wish your child who does hate having his haircut get it done by a stranger, have something in mind that isnt a lot of work. tell the hairdresser / barber that they dislike having it done. and ask for advice on what haircut can be done that is quick and easy. and then listen to them and take the advice.

oh and dont move your head with us, we move for a reason dont move your head unless we tell you to. angles are very important, if you move while we are doing something that angle is now wrong.

8. Don’t go with dirty hair.

You’d be shocked at how just washing your hair can make a huge difference between a good haircut and a great one.

7. The pictures do help.

Make-up artist here, so not a stylist but I’ve worked with scores of them and here’s what I’ve heard: Try to find images of hair similar to yours. If you have super thick curls, a pic of someone with fine straight hair won’t do you any good.

Similarly, go in with your hair close to your natural texture if you’re dealing with a new stylist. Also, if you like a cut on a model, cover his/her face with your finger and make sure you like the hair and not the face.

Mention if something bothers you, “I hate blow-drying” “I need to be able to put it up” “My forehead looks weird” the best stylist I’ve ever worked with is also super honest with me “I can do something similar, but this exact length will give you fat face”.

Finally, ask questions. “How do I style this?” “What products should I use?” “What does the upkeep look like?”

6. It seems basic, but…

Unhelpful: moving your head all around. Lifting your head up when you’re getting shampooed.

it doesn’t help and it’ll just soak your back. Don’t wear a hoodie or turtleneck. Don’t expect a miracle color change without investing a lot of time and money. Trust your hairstylist. Lol.

Helpful: bring pictures of what you want. Try to be on time. Don’t no call no show your appointment. If you don’t like it – just be nice and to the point.

5. It’s fine to say you don’t want to talk.

Hey! I do this with my tattoo artist sometimes (and I’m a hairstylist in training, 400 hours left!!), I usually say something like “I’m not really in the mood to talk today, is it okay if we just chill while you work?” or something like that.

Any person worth their shit will respect your boundaries to their fullest capabilities while still providing excellent service.

4. Avoid controversial topics.

My wife is a stylist. Her main complaint is when clients, mostly men but some women, start spouting their political beliefs for all to hear.

It’s as if they think when they sit down in that chair, all conversational etiquitte gets thrown out the window and there are no consequences to what is said.

3. Don’t hide your mistakes.

(responding for my mother, who is one)
Helpful:
Have a picture of something like what you want done, descriptions don’t do a justice
Be 100% honest about what you’ve done to your own hair

Unhelpful:
Don’t bring filtered pics or ones that are wigs (just don’t have unrealistic expectations) Don’t move your head when you’re in the chair, only move when your stylist says so Stop insisting babies and toddlers have hair cut- it’s traumatic

2. Or at least, be polite.

I wanna add on to this as a stylist! I have no problem talking about some more ‘controversial’ topics with clients who can discuss politely. But I do have to remember that there are other clients within earshot and I have to be appropriate for them too.

So just because my client and I are comfortable, I can’t get too into these topics because I could still get a complaint from my neighbors client.

1. Find someone who likes kids.

When our daughter was very little, we took her to a salon that ONLY cut little kids’ hair. They were great, her hair looked super cute and everyone was smiling at the end. It was a little pricey but so worth it!

Well, I for one found this very…informative.

If you’re a hairdresser, what would add? Hit us with it in the comments!

The post Hairdressers Share the Things You Should Stop Doing at Your Appointments appeared first on UberFacts.

Hairdressers Discuss the Things You Do That They Love And Really Dislike

I don’t know a single person who hasn’t been uncomfortable at a hair salon.

It’s a strange power dynamic, they’re in charge of your looks, and you’re never quite sure what you should talk about for all of those endless minutes.

If you’ve ever wondered if you’re doing the right thing or not, these 14 hairdressers are baring it all.

14. Ew, I never thought about that.

Always clean your ears before a haircut you don’t want someone up that close to you with waxy manky ears ??

13. It’s awkward for both of us.

Please don’t keep your eyes open when washing, it’s kinda awkward if you know someone is staring right up your nostrils.

Be clear in what you want, preferably already know what you want before you sit down in our chairs, having the “do I want pink or do I want blond oh I just don’t know” conversation is really annoying because it takes time we could use in a better way and honestly I’m down for both and it’s not my head so I’m not going to make that decision for you.

If we are done with a cut, please don’t “help” with removing the hair, your not removing it you are actually making it worse by patting it into your clothes, sticking to your skin and letting it fall into your shoes. We know how itchy it can get when you do that.

You don’t have to talk, you don’t have to be silent, just know that we are stylists first and not necessarily therapists, if you tell me you are going to hurt yourself I’m not equipped with helping you with that. We can have a good chat, I can tell you about my struggles and you can tell me yours, but really talk to someone who actually knows how to help and deal with that. It can be a very hard thing to hear for us too.

Please remember we are human, we have lives and families too, so sometimes we are a little less happy, it’s not that we hate you, maybe we lost someone close to us or are going through a break up. Working when you know that any moment now you’ll get a call saying someone died is making it hard to be super cheery. We don’t have to share those things.

Please be realistic when it comes to hair. Good hair isn’t cheap and cheap hair isn’t good. We need to work with what you have, and if you want the impossible, it’s impossible. Its not about not being able to. It’s being realistic. “But she can go from red to blond in a week” no babe, that’s a wig, and your hair won’t make it. Pick something else, either lay down Some serious money and follow the exact care and time instructions, or stop arguing.

Most stylists aren’t making bank, in fact it’s a very low paying job, we are on our feet all day dealing with chemicals and work in positions that aren’t always good for our backs/hands/wrists/shoulders. Its not unusual if we don’t have time for the bathroom or to eat. Many times I have been busy from the moment the door opens until it closes, and still won’t have eating anything. It’s very very hard work, and after we’re done, every single person in my team is done talking for the day and need some winding down time. we are perfectionists and passionate in our jobs. We do it because we love it and the people, but a lot of us are struggling. Especially now, so be kind to us.

12. That second one made me lol.

My wife has cut hair for aver a decade.

From what I’ve learned do two things.

1. Wash your hair at least a day or two before getting it cut.

2. Look at a ruler to understand how units of measurement work.

11. They just want you to be honest.

Hairdresser here.

I had cancer, I want my hair to be long again to my mid back. Can you help me get there? If it were me doing your hair I would suggest just cleaning it up and making it look like you have a style even when you are going through the awkward parts of growing it out.

Often it entails keeping the back short to keep the mullet at bay until the top and sides have had a chance to catch up. Once your hair is at a chin length bob or so, it will be easier to then let it all grow from there. Hair grows average a half inch per month. That’s 6 inches a year. If you have a buzz cut now, 6 inches will be about Bob length. Another year then you’re approaching your goal length.

Keep getting light trims, every 3-4 months or so to keep split ends away.

10. Have some guts.

Former hairstylist, don’t ask to have an inch off all over and then “we can go from there if I want more.”

That’s asking me to do two haircuts, come on.

9. Don’t lift your head.

Helpful- Bringing pictures of what you would like. Visuals are always helpful.

Unhelpful- Lifting your head up to try and help us while we shampoo your hair. This actually makes things more difficult and can end up getting your shirt and/or the floor wet if you lift when we are not ready for it or if you lift your head too high. Just relax your neck and enjoy the scalp massage, we will support and lift your head when we need to.

8. Don’t ever cut your hair in anger.

Do NOT come to the stylist in a raging fit because your boyfriend hurt your feelings so now you’re going to cut your long hair into a pixie to show that you have control over your life.

No matter how awesome it looks, you WILL hate it, you WILL cry, and you will HATE us for allowing you to do it.

This is why stylists will always try to talk you down off that ledge, and many will offer a slower transition (“Let’s try a shoulder length bob!”) or refuse you completely. It’s not that we hate you. We want you to love us and come back, but if you hate your hair you’ll hate us by extension.

7. Well ok then.

DON’T ?

ASK ?

FOR ?

ANIME ?

HAIR ?

6. You have to pony up the dough.

People who are willing to spend 6 hours and $400+ on a fantasy color such as pink, blue, purple etc. Only to not buy professional salon products. I only recommend to my guests what they absolutely need!

The shampoo and conditioner that we have at the salon is made for specific types of hair with special ingredients. If you use herbal essences, Pantene, or tresemme (basically 90% of any shampoo you can find at the grocery store) on a color like that, it will completely wash out the first time you shampoo your hair.

They have a higher pH and will strip your hair. Also they have waxes and silicones that will deposit onto your hair strand to make it feel soft, but really it’s preventing any type of moisture into your hair strand.

5. It’s fine to say you just want a trim.

Barber of 13 years here, clients say this to me at least 3x a day. It’s absolutely fine and perfectly reasonable if you like the shape of the hairstyle but want a shorter length.

Any barber who can’t understand how to execute that shouldn’t be licensed.

4. Be on time!

✂Hairdresser here for a high end salon

Helpful: Bringing a picture (or a couple with similar pictures) of what you want. Try and match your natural hair texture to the texture in the picture. Be realistic if the hair color is making you love the cut-not the cut itself. Good tipping (hey being honest). Finding a stylist you like the overall vibe of. If making a big cut-tell the front desk that when making appointment so they can alert the stylist ahead of time. Willing to understand sometimes a style won’t work for your lifestyle/face/upkeep and we need to find something else

Not helpful: Being late for appointment. Being rude/ telling stylist how to complete the service (if you don’t trust the hairdresser to complete the service I recommend seeing another stylist) Wiggling/Nodding-or not containing children who do so. Dirty/greasy hair Wearing a turtleneck/hoodie to appointment…..?‍♀️

3. If you have curly hair, you have to find the right person to cut it.

Not a hairdresser but someone who cuts my own and friends/family hair because I got tired of not being listened to by professionals :

Curly hair should not be cut wet. I used to not mind the way it looked right after being cut (when they blow dried / straightened the crap out of it) but then I’d go home, shower, and discover it was too short and badly shaped when curly again.

A good hairdresser will cut curly hair dry or slightly damp so they can see the shape and real length.

2. Mind your body.

Don’t switch how you’re sitting halfway through the cut! Even crossing/uncrossing your legs can make a difference in how the cut turns out!

1. Be polite, and don’t expect miracles.

Mother who’s a retired hairdresser

Helpful:

if it a style your looking for, bring in a good, quality photo of your style. Don’t bring in cropped, wig photos because your hair isn’t not like a styling head.
communicate with your stylist about what you want and don’t want. If you want to try a product or trimmed in a specific way, let the stylist know! They cannot be mind readers of your needs and wants.
be realistic about your hair style. Certain styles are better for one hair type over another. If your hair has more breakage for a style that is more for a thicker type, do not judge the hairstylist trying to accommodate you. They’re trying to make you happy and they’re trying their best to adjust to that hair type for that style by doing things one way over another.
Unhelpful:

don’t blast off at the stylist who tried to “up sell” products, they hate it just as much as you do. Just be polite to say no if you don’t want it. They’re aren’t trying to spike up your bill, they have to follow selling guidelines otherwise they’ll get marks on their reports for not selling enough.

if they notice anything off about your hair (mostly lice or something very hazard-like) they have to deny due to protocols. DO NOT scream at them and demand them to do it. They have to be careful with certain things that could possibly be transmitted home to their loved ones or other customers. My mother had to deny a child because this poor kid had over 40+ ticks in his hair and she did not want the ticks to run around (they’re very hard to kill). The mother screamed about it at my mother but protocol had to be followed. Most will be kind enough to let you know how to treat the problem and will gladly accept you back once your able to control your situation.

do not move around like you just drank a bunch of caffeine. There is risk of getting cut, poor cuts on the hair and much more. Moving around makes it worse not only for you but for the hairstylists who would have to redo it again.

I’m definitely appreciative of these tips.

If you’re a hairdresser and you’ve got any more, share them with us in the comments!

The post Hairdressers Discuss the Things You Do That They Love And Really Dislike appeared first on UberFacts.