Funeral Organizers Share the Strangest Funerals They’ve Organized

You have to be a certain kind of person to work in the funeral business.

I’d imagine it takes someone who is calm, collected, and is able to comfort others and make them feel welcome during very hard times.

Obviously, you also have to be very accommodating and make the family members of deceased people happy when it comes to what they want for their loved one’s funeral.

Folks on AskReddit who work in the funeral industry talked about the strangest and most unique funerals they’ve ever witnessed.

1. Wow…

“A family asked us to play some hardcore gangster rap for their mother/grandmother at her service and we happily obliged. I can’t quite remember the name of the song but it had heavy themes of murder, drug use and pretty foul language.

Her service was then finished with a recital of the Lord’s Prayer.”

2. Family tradition.

“Long line of funeral directors.

My great grandfather buried a lady that was over 8 feet talk and worked as a performer for the circus. He had to use an oversized display model for the casket and sat on the coffin for seats (horses back then). Buried the whole site with concrete to keep out grave robbers.

Heard she was a really nice lady.”

3. I’d like to see this.

“A “Viking” funeral.

Putting the ashes of the deceased out to sea in a little boat fashioned out of salt and covered with dry flowers/kindling. Fashioning biodegradable arrows with flaming tips. Everyone shot flaming arrows at the boat and it caught fire then dissolved into the sea.

(Now to be clear, Vikings never did any of this but Hollywood gave people ideas…)

Apparently I am not the first, but it was cool. Put the “fun” back in “funeral.””

4. Whatever you want.

“Former funeral director.

Usually ran the back of the house but met with families on a few occasions. Met with the parents of a 16 year old girl who had died in a car crash. Arrangements were tough at first because how could they not be. We got the official stuff out of the way and then talked about what she (the deceased) would’ve wanted.

Ended up re-arranging the funeral home so that the lobby had crock pots of boiled peanuts and a lounge with the Lion King playing. Inside the main parlor was a purple-themed dance party. The pinnacle of the evening was the girl’s mom leading everyone in doing “the wiggle.”

It was amazing and I am still floored by this family for being able to really celebrate their daughter’s life in this way.”

5. Couldn’t get the timing right.

“Some retired admiral died, and his wife “insisted” that a group of F-18s perform a flyover during the service. Well, this was extremely difficult to pull off, for numerous reasons.

Anyway, the owner of the funeral home was able to make it happen. Unfortunately, the flyover was roughly 2-3 minutes earlier then scheduled.

The wife was so mad that she tried to withhold paying.”

6. Big fan.

“I’m hired frequently to play violin at funerals.

Not sure it qualifies as weird, but it was definitely unique.

Woman died in her late 80’s. Her entire family was there, including 3 or 4 great grandkids even. She had a big family and was well liked in her community, so there was about 100-150 people there. Everyone was dressed super nice, and from talking to everyone, it was clear no one knew what was coming…

Turns out, their grandmother was a huge LotR fan. So, she had a Lord of the Rings themed funeral, with me playing ‘Concerning Hobbits’, ‘Gandalfs’ fall, and the like. It was fun, but the shock on everyone’s faces was hilarious!”

7. Gone fishin’.

“Been in the industry 20 years, my family for over 125 years. The most interesting one I personally organized was a young guy in his early 20’s who loved to fish.

So we put him in his canoe for the viewing/service, and he was cremated later. The service was at a church, the canoe was way too big for the hearse.

The lesson to take away is: You never know exactly whats in a U-Haul.”

8. Human taxidermy?

“Not a funeral organizer, but I work with someone in that business.

I thought everyone was joking until I actually saw the pictures. They had a guy whose family wanted him staged and posed for the viewing.

Like instead of an open casket laying peacefully, they literally had him mounted on his motorcycle in full gear: leather jacket, backwards hat, sunglasses. It was one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen, like it gave me human taxidermy vibes.”

9. Very weird.

“So this is not a weird thing that happened, it’s rather the community. I’m not an organizer myself, but my dad is and I help out sometimes.

I’m living in Germany and we have some kind of remainder of the 3rd reich called Reichsbürger. Just google them, some crazy people…

So usually the are distributed, but for their comrade who recently passed they gathered together to about 50 people. It was so surreal that something like this still exists and is even allowed to do so. I didn’t know about this before and I think I’ll never forget about it.”

10. Surreal.

“I was a Licensed funeral director and embalmer in numerous states but this event happened in Miami Florida a woman Jewish woman with substantial money died in Miami Beach, we brought to the funeral home and embalmed her( more to this) we did a typical service Rabbi in the House and was going to be a graveside Service.

Days prior to that though the woman’s dream of dying was to go be buried in her Mercedes Benz 1984 convertible so we brought the Mercedes to the cemetery and measured and calculated how deep how wide to get the Mercedes 6 feet under and with her in the driver seat and embalmed with her hands and arms stretched out and around the steering wheel.

I looked in and it was so bizarre and surrealI and I will never experience that again mainly because I’m not a funeral director anymore.

Anyway the grave was covered up everybody said their goodbyes and I imagine to this day she’s still there driving around.”

11. This is…odd…

“One was a “Wizard of Oz”-themed funeral, where the deceased woman had loved the original movie and requested that music from it be used.

Pall bearers and friends of the family dressed in costumes of the principal characters as they entered the church, including dozens of Munchkins, Toto, and the Witch.

There wasn’t a dry eye after the eulogy when the soloist sang “Over the Rainbow,” but many smiles as the coffin was carried out of the church en route to the cemetery as everyone sang “We’re Off to See the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!”

12. Skateboarding is life.

“An older, well known, local skater died and we held a Skate Funeral. Hung his board, pads and helmet on the fence.

A good friend of his eulogized him. Some other folks told some stories about him. After that we all pounded our boards on the pavement in synch for about 5 minutes, chanting his name and his various handles.

Skated hard to his favorite bands and passed the hat for his family…I have been to much worse funerals.”

13. Start your engines.

“My parents are pastors and I would help them out occasionally. One guy had a NASCAR themed funeral.

The coffin had headlights and in the middle of the service, the kids in attendance got to slap stickers onto the coffin.

They also played car noises as the pallbearers moved the coffin.”

14. In the Deep South.

“Was a funeral director in the Deep South for about 4 years. We did quite a few Free Mason funeral services and they were always quite interesting to watch. Especially when the Free Mason brotherhood came to perform their burial rites.

Had a lady who died and as per her request she only wanted Lynyrd Skynyrd music playing(sweet home Alabama,Free Bird etc.)in the chapel during the wake and before and after the eulogy was given.

Did a funeral for a convicted pedophile that spent the last 40 years in prison and died while in it due to natural causes. Was odd to witness just 4 people show up for funeral service.”

15. In pieces.

“My dad was a funeral director in a small town.

One day, a guy called and said, I’m going to be dropping off my foot this afternoon. He was like, what?

The guy was diabetic and had to get his foot amputated. He had already purchased a burial plot in a local cemetery, and wanted his foot to be buried there with the rest of him to follow eventually.

Sure enough, the guy came in a wheelchair with a bug bundle containing his foot. He insisted that my dad embalm it. So, he did. It was then buried in his plot.

About a year later, the guy calls up again. “I’m going to be bringing over my leg, I need you to embalm it and have it buried.” Apparently his diabetes had continued to progress, and they had to amputate the leg opposite of the one that was missing its foot. So, my dad dutifully embalmed it and arranged for it to be buried.

About another year or so goes by, and the man finally dies.

My dad embalmed him and saw to it that he was buried with the rest of the parts which preceded him in death.”

Wow…I don’t think that’s an industry I’d be comfortable working in AT ALL.

Now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, please tell us about any unusual funerals you’ve been to.

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post Funeral Organizers Share the Strangest Funerals They’ve Organized appeared first on UberFacts.

Moms Share Their Secrets to Still Managing to Get Some Time Alone

It’s hard for moms to get enough alone time, especially when our kids are little – and that’s in the best of times. 2020 is definitely not that (though describing it is a bit tough), and with everyone at home far more than they’re anywhere else, what’s a mom to do?

Sure, virtual happy hours are fine, but if you really want to indulge yourself, these 8 moms are sharing their tips and tricks for some deserved and necessary self-care.

8. One of the many reasons to get a dog, I think.

Image Credit: Pexels

“I take the dog for a walk. I also have to work outside of the home so my drives in and out are my ‘me’ time. Taking/teaching yoga classes on Zoom in our office is my solo time too.

It is all thanks to [my husband]. We actively work to schedule time for ‘me time’ breaks.”

– Christina Dunbar, North Carolina

7. Enlist your partner’s help.

“Some days I have zero [alone time], but that’s because I choose to snuggle with my boy in bed when he naps.

Sometimes I nap with him, sometimes I just watch Real Housewives. I’m lucky that when [my husband] comes home from work, before we have dinner, I take 30 min to myself to do whatever.

Usually, I sit outside with a glass of wine and call my dad. Sometimes I just sit and do nothing. But, I always have those 30 minutes.

It’s not much, but it’s mine, all mine.”

– Krissy Youngquist, Wisconsin

6. Early bedtimes for the win!

Image Credit: Pexels

“When I was little my siblings and I had a 7 p.m. bedtime. I hated that we could still see the sunlight through the curtains and hear kids outside playing.

I get it now. Our kids’ bedtime is 7:30 pm. I have to take advantage of any chance I get.

Right now, I have the three older kids doing school work downstairs, two playing with a train set, and the baby playing in a playpen while I am in my room. [My husband] tries hard to make sure if I need to check out for a bit that he makes it happen for me (going on walks, etc.)

– Lisa Emrick, Indiana

5. Those blessed solo Target runs.

“I’m working from home full time with two young kids so [alone time is rare].

Thankfully my 2-year-old still naps, so I work out during that time. Otherwise, [I get alone time] at night time once the kids go to sleep (but I’m also exhausted then), when my husband takes both girls on a walk, or when I drive to pickup dinner/Target solo.

I know it’s a crazy time, but we can and will get through this!!”

– Kristin Martinez, Illinois

4. This lady is crazy! Ha!

Image Credit: Pexels

“I do yard work. That way I can leisurely do something productive and also listen to music or Audible.”

– Rachel Jaworski, Michigan

3. Remember, you can’t work all the time (she tells herself again and again).

“I take my lunch break right after [my daughter] goes down for her nap at 12, and I take a book and sit out on my porch and read in the sun!

So relaxing and it’s an hour I get all to myself.

Should I try to use that time to get extra work in? Maybe. But, I don’t regret it!”

– Jenny Saul, North Carolina

2. But how does she stay up past nine, though?

Image Credit: Pexels

“At night I have been putting the kiddos down by 7 p.m. and, here in Minnesota, it doesn’t get dark until around 9 or 10 p.m., so my husband and I are able to sit outside and talk, or I hop in the tub, or go for a walk.

[My husband] normally stays up late and plays video games so I watch my TV series then, too.”

– Kilee Buck, Minnesota

1. It’s the little things, and the hours alone.

“I started taking an hour every Sunday to do a long (5k) walk by myself and I listen to Brené Brown’s podcast. Starts my week off with a better mindset and ‘hopefully’ encourages me to move more the rest of the week.

I also always grocery shop by myself. Have done that since [my first] was born and can be the best hour of my week.”

– Allison Nichols, Indiana

I’m dying, you guys. I knew I’d have to get creative to have some alone time, but wow! Exercise?! Ha!

What’s your favorite way to keep your family at bay for a few hours? Share with us in the comments!

The post Moms Share Their Secrets to Still Managing to Get Some Time Alone appeared first on UberFacts.

Men Whose Marriage Proposals Were Turned Down Talk About Their Lives After That

I knew a friend who asked his longtime girlfriend to marry him. She said no and he was absolutely devastated. It was very sad to watch and I don’t think he ever really got over it.

It’s always sad to hear about these kinds of stories but they happen all the time, unfortunately.

Here are some true stories from people on AskReddit who had their marriage proposals rejected.

1. Be patient…

“We met in her home country of Germany while I was traveling. I knew I was in love. We dated long distance for a while. Me flying to Europe. Her flying to the US. I suggested marriage so we could be together. She said no a few times.

I didn’t press. But I was patient and not being pushy. I knew she was worth the wait. Then it hit her that’s how we could be together. If we got married, we could live in a country together. The difficulties of being born on a different patch of dirt.

A few years later, I’m still married to my best friend and living with her in Germany. Not all no’s stay no. Life goes on.”

2. Intense.

“She had cancer.

I said we should get married because I had full medical coverage from my work. She said no, and over time we grew apart.

Haven’t talked to her in 15 years, don’t know if she died.”

3. Dodged a bullet.

“Dated a woman for over two years and popped the question. First time she said “I don’t know”.

A couple months later I asked her again, she said “Maybe.” I was pretty bent out of shape.

But then I found out she was sleeping with several of my friends so I dodged a bullet there really.”

4. Good thing you got dumped.

“Her dad former Navy kept saying we should wait. We put it off for a bit longer.

Fast forward another year. She dumped me. Father informs me she has been sleeping with A LOT of guys.. like more then 50 over the 2 yrs we dated. And was very happy i didn’t marry her. and apologizes to me for her behavior.

She then totally ghosting everyone including her family for about 6 months. Find out she moved 7 hrs away and was living under a house.. not a basement. under a house with her new bf… She calls her mom to come get her. Mother and father ask me to go get her and bring her home..

Good times.. good times.”

5. Wasn’t ready…but…

“I asked her right out of high school, but she wasn’t ready. We stayed together, went to college at the same school, spent the first year in separate dorms, then moved in together. Got married a few years later.

Our 20th is coming up.”

6. Moving on.

“I never saw her again. Less than a year later I met my wife.

We’ve been together 15 years.”

7. Yes..no…

“She said yes as I had a special occasion planned – one of those observation wheels and I proposed at the very top and we were in our way to a family event and I had a ring made and everything.

Then a few days later she said no. Everything fell apart. I was distraught. We continued dating for a while but it was long distance – other side of the world. When I visited it would be super awkward. Eventually he dad kicked me out. Was flying standby and was stuck in an airport for 4 days. Took me years to recover.

Now I am happily married and am glad it never worked out. I was not in a good place when I met her and her family were super controlling. It would never have worked.

The woman I married is super cool and is my best friend. Turned out better then expected.”

8. I take it back.

“I proposed, she said yes, but 1 month before the wedding she took it back. This is what happened immediately with my life.

I personally lost about $3,000 worth of deposits. My parents and her parents lost about $4000 each on deposits. Me and my parents are working class so it took years for us to financially recovered from this.

I spent $2,200 on a ring I didn’t want. My biggest regret and will say this anyone who listens. The engagement ring chain I bought it from wouldn’t take it back. I took it to pawn shops and they’d only offer a few hundred. This engagement ring store, bank on customers who wants the whole ring (stone, band, setting).

If you’re going to buy a ring JUST BUY THE STONE a gold band, setting you can get a better deal from a local jewelry store. Apparently my gem I bought was shit. Most of the cost of the ring was BS.

Most of my family was from out of state and a lot of people were pissed because they canceled their flight.

I had to go to the ER. So I didn’t leave my room, I couldn’t take any calls because everyone was pissed and I didn’t want to hear it. I was depressed and just stayed in bed. One day my roommate grabbed me and took me to the ER where the doctor treated me for severe dehydration and an infection.

What happened when I got over it? I became stronger for it. I didn’t propose to anyone until a decade later – honestly there wasn’t anyone that I didn’t love deeply enough to be in a committed relationship. But when I proposed I was in my thirties our relationship was more mature than my first time I proposed.

We’re now married for 13 years. SHe’s my best friend. When I have good news she the first person I want to tell it too… when I have bad news she’s the first person I want to tell it too. I financially recovered as well.

I learned my lesson about the engagement ring. Only paid $300 for it. She LOVED it and treasures it. After our 10 year miles stone we were doing so well, I told her to pick a wedding ring of any cost. She refused. She still wears that cheap $300 ring and loves it.”

9. Like a movie.

“We were dating for a little over a year but I was so sure she was the one. I drove 2 hours to see her at her college and went on a beautiful winter night walk and proposed.

She looks me right in the eyes and said, “Oh you thought this was serious? Well um I don’t know how to say this other than I have been saying other people. Well actually I have been seeing other women.”

I was stunned I got up put the ring in my pocket and walked to my car got in and drove away never looking back crying the whole time.

Haven’t seen or spoken with her in 7 years even though she has tried countless times to reach out. Now it’s a story I tell friends who are nervous about asking their significant others to marry them.

Reminding them that even if they say no it could be worse.”

10. Getting over the trauma.

“She was in trauma from a past relationship, and at that time I wanted to help her move on, and in that act I realised that I’ve fallen in love with her, as she’s the one who despite being in depression, helped me out of my social anxiety. I just couldn’t see her suffer

So I proposed to her, and got rejected, as she wasn’t ready to be in another relationship and since I confessed about love, she got more anxious and out friendship was temporarily over. We didn’t talk or have contact for months.

Later on, I somehow contacted her, we had a bit of talk, and asked how she was doing, and learnt that she has been shutting herself in her room minimising contact with people. I still had romantic feelings for her, but I wanted to be with her and help her move on so I insisted being friends again. We spent our time like that, and honestly she’s the only friend I had.

Time passed, and when I saw she’s getting back to her normal life, I proposed her again, and she accepted. It was a long way to that day. I’ve never been happier in my life.

It’s been 4 years since then, though we have arguements due to different views, but we always come up with a solution to resolve things. And I can say this with certainty that nobody can love me the way she does.

I feel lucky to have her in my life.”

11. Horrible at first.

“It was absolutely horrible at first.

I legit thought my life was ending as shortly after that she wanted to “take a break”. Pretty much she wanted to date her co-worker at Baker’s square, and had a really weird cult-ish relationship with all her co-workers. At first I was confused/upset, all of the above.

But weirdly enough one of her friends/acquaintance for me contacted me since she knew I was in a rough patch, completely innocently, and we hung out, and she even knew that I wanted to get back together with her at some point, so it wasn’t anything immediate.

Eventually, the girl I proposed to found out her co-worker boy toy was a douche and wanted to get back together with me, and obviously I had been fretting about it for like 3 months so I instantly said yes even though unknowingly I started forming a bond with her friend/my acquaintance.

Slowly, things just started deteriorating as I started getting honestly kind of suspicious that she wanted to get together with one of her other co-workers, and surprisingly I was actually right. She ending up breaking up with me again, and I thought I was gonna go through it all again, but this time the shock only lasted a few days since this time I kind of had closure.

Meanwhile, somehow I think the friend/my acquaintance/current girlfriend of 4 years knew that this was gonna happen, and was there for me when I needed it. Like both times for me it was super rough, couldn’t even function. Got together, and honestly I can’t even understand how I thought I was happy with my old girlfriend who I proposed to.

I even look back, and I’m realizing that even her family was fucked up. Her Mom was extremely controlling, and even (disgustingly) bragged about how she dated a boy in high school for a few years and broke up with him and hurt his feelings so bad that he moved for mental health reasons. Like, I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree?

To be quite honest though, I miss her dad A LOT. Like honestly, he messages me every once and awhile (I doubt his daughter knows) and basically I can just hear it in his voice that he would rather her date me then her new boyfriend since I had a pretty good bond with him.

Even so, I still don’t like to message back with anything too much since I’d somehow weirdly feel like it’s cheating on my current girlfriend who has the most chill parents I’ve ever met, and are super easy going. I honestly think my life would’ve been hell if I chose to marry my past girlfriend with a mom-in law problem.

Anyways that’s my story.”

12. Separate ways.

“I asked a woman after almost 6 years together. She said no, and added that maybe it was time for us to go our separate ways. Wow. Shock. But life has to go on.

About a year later I met a different girl and we were engaged within a year. We were both ready for marriage. That was 16 years ago. We’ve got three terrific kids, two boys that are exceptional athletes and a girl whose a brainy little nerd.

The lady who refused me eventually got married, had a couple kids, and got divorced. But she got married again. And had another kid. And got divorced again.

We completely lost touch several years ago.”

13. Nice!

“We were living together.

I asked, she said “No, I love you but I need to think about it. I don’t think I’m ready yet. Can you give me some time and ask later?”. A few months go by, I ask again, same response. A few more months, same deal. A couple more weeks and then she says “hey, what do you think of us getting married?”. I replied: That’s an excellent idea, why didn’t I think of that?

Our 39th anniversary is next month.”

14. We’ll see…

“Dated my wife in high school.

I was all wrong for her at the time, and it was going way too fast so we broke up on good terms. One of the last times we talked, I aksed her if she would marry me one day, she laughed it off and said no way, and said I was definetly not the marrying type.

Fast Forward to college, I was working full time and she was a law student, and she walked in to the liquor store I was the manager of. We talked for an hour, and it continued in the parking lot, just talking and catching up. At the end of the conversation as she was leaving, jokingly I asked her to marry me again. She laughed, I laughed.. and she said “we’ll see”.

Married 16 years in October.”

15. It’s all good.

“Said no, we broke up, got back together, got a job in Alaska for the summer and “forgot” to tell me.

Then we don’t talk for years. There was a shooting at my church. She calls me out of the blue to make sure I’m okay. After an awkward pause “Well I want to make sure you didn’t do something stupid like go after the shooter!” then she hung up.

But here is a good story. I was 20 and she was 18. We had been really close friends for years. We where in that awkward “should be date, or shouldn’t we?” phase. So we went out to dinner. She told me “you realize if we go this route, we’re getting married in a couple of years.” So we talked about what we really wanted out of life.

She wanted to be a Pastor’s wife. I believe God loves stupid people cause he made so many. We realized we both wanted different things from life.

Been friends for 20 years. Had a rough patch when she got married and the guy couldn’t comprehend why I would be that close to her and not want to marry her.

But now everything is good.”

16. A story about Dad.

“My dad proposed to a woman who said no. My dad was a violent alcoholic and she said she couldn’t be with him unless he got clean. Took him a little while, but he did it. He wound up meeting my mom through a match maker and they’ve been married 25 years.

If that woman never said no to him, he never would have gotten clean. It was the lowest point in his life. But it all brought him to my mom who makes him happier than ever.

My dad talks to her sometimes. She got married to someone else and they had a son who died from a medical condition.”

As they say, life goes on…

How about you?

Have you ever had someone reject your marriage proposal?

Or you maybe YOU did the rejecting?

If you’re comfortable with it, share your stories in the comments.

The post Men Whose Marriage Proposals Were Turned Down Talk About Their Lives After That appeared first on UberFacts.

A Woman Asked If She’s Wrong to Take a Spare Key Back From Friend She Found Snooping in Her House

I have friends who’ve given people spare keys before to let out their dog and they later found out that the person they trusted had been digging around their house while they were gone.

That’s just a huge NO-NO in my book, so I wasn’t surprised when they took the keys away from their s0-called friends and those relationships definitely suffered because of it.

A woman took to Reddit’s “Am I the Asshole?” thread and asked the folks on that forum to ask if she was wrong for taking a spare key away from her friend who she unexpectedly surprised in her own home.

Read the story below and we’ll see you on the other side to discuss this situation.

AITA for taking away my friend’s spare key after she went into my house without permission from AmItheAsshole

First of all, I’m not really sure I even believe her story about trying to find her necklace. Secondly, what consenting adults choose to do in their own homes in no one’s business.

People on Reddit had a lot of thoughts about this story.

This reader definitely did not think that she was in the wrong and believes that the whole situation seems a little…fishy…

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another person responded that her “friend” who had the spare key broke the sacred bond of trust and that no one should ever snoop around another person’s home.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another commenter recommended changing the locks ASAP…which is a pretty good idea.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Here’s another take: this reader seems to think that the whole interaction was set up to be an intervention about the homeowner’s lifestyle choices.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And finally, this person believes that the woman who used to have the spare key needs to apologize and atone for her discretions or else the friendship should be terminated.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think?

Was her friend way out of line or did this woman overreact a little bit to her friend who is concerned about her?

Let us know what you think in the comments, please!

The post A Woman Asked If She’s Wrong to Take a Spare Key Back From Friend She Found Snooping in Her House appeared first on UberFacts.

Mistakes Only Exhausted Parents Could Make

There’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture – it absolutely screws with your ability to use your brain in a responsible, adult manner. Decisions suck, you want to cry all of the time, and yeah, you definitely forget things you normally wouldn’t.

It’s all a haze, those first weeks and months home with a kiddo, but if you’ve got a good sleeper, it gets better after that.

If you don’t, well. Godspeed my friends.

I’m not sure if these 14 parents have bad sleepers, new babies, or they’re just having a hell of a week, but they’re definitely making mistakes only sleep-deprived people make.

14. There is nothing worse than burning cookies.

Because now you have to fight your kids for the good ones.

13. Man, that hurts the pocketbook.

I’ve melted stuff in the oven, but never anything this precious.

12. I wonder how long she contemplated whether or not she had to throw it out.

Just me?

11. At least she didn’t feed it to the baby.

Or did she? You’ll never know.

10. No, those don’t match, but also…

One is on the wrong foot?

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I just got this text from hub. ?#dadbrain

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9. If you’re a parent and say you’ve never done this, you’re lying.

Also, how many times have you reheated your coffee today?

8. That’s where they go, right?

Give yourself a pat on the back for cleaning up, my friend.

7. The tiny human will learn one day.

Karma is always waiting, even if it takes decades.

6. Yeah that’s not going to fit.

Also, babies don’t need socks. The proof is in how they will not stay on their feet.

5. You’ve just got to laugh.

Unless you feel like crying, because then, by all means…

4. That awkward moment you have NO idea what you’re doing.

Major brain misfire, there.

3. I’m impressed she didn’t need the microwave for two days.

How does she warm up her coffee?

2. I have found my keys in the car more than once.

On the roof, in the ignition…you name it!

1. Hey, that would save a whole step!

Fewer bottles to wash, too.

I remember those days, but here’s the good news – you’re so foggy you probably won’t remember all of the bonehead moves you made, anyway.

If you recall doing something totally stupid in a sleep-deprived state, share it with us in the comments!

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This is Why Every Kid Should Be an Outdoor Kid

There’s a certain nostalgia many of us have regarding our childhoods and the outdoors. Depending on our ages, we might have walked to and from school every day, played outside with our friends in the summer until the street lights came on, or wandered alone on hikes through the woods and gone fishing in the streams and pools we came upon along the way.

Some people love the outdoors and make it a point to spend time in nature for a lifetime, while others may gravitate toward a more indoor lifestyle. Kids, though, shouldn’t have the option, according to experts.

Image Credit: Pexels

Studies suggest that kids who play outside and who experience landscapes and wilderness experience mood, cognitive, health and longevity benefits. Not only that, but the rough-and-tumble children who scrape up their knees or slip around in the mud? They get higher grades in school, experience lower levels of stress, and grow up caring more about conserving the environment.

Jennifer Bristol of Texas Children in Nature, is one among many experts urging parents to get their kids outside.

“Children who learn and play in nature are healthier, happier and smarter. They perform better in school, they have higher levels of self discipline, they are more cooperative with others, better problem solvers, more creative, feel more connected with nature, and become tomorrow’s conservation stewards.”

If you’re curious why so many people feel at home in, or rejuvenated by, nature, biologist E.O. Wilson has a theory known as the Biophilia Hypothesis. It rests on the idea that, before supermarkets and cities existed, people who tracked animals, ate wild flora and fauna, and were able to find clean sources of water were the most likely to survive.

Image Credit: Pexels

“It would be therefore quite extraordinary to find that all learning rules related to that world have been erased in a few thousand years, even in the tiny minority of peoples who have existed for more than one or two generations in wholly urban environments.”

Modern scientists like Richard Mitchell, an epidemiologist, agree that our bodies are pre-programmed to reward us to staying attuned to our natural habitats – and that children feel this pull more acutely.

“For kids, nature is just an amazing playground. It’s a fantastic place to discover how the world works, bounce around on tree branches, play around in mud. All of those sensory stimulations that we think are good for development.”

Mitchell also points out that studies have long suggested that our brains respond to nature by muting our stress responses – decreasing the concentration of stress hormones circulating in our bodies and lowering our blood pressure. Children who spend significant time outdoors are better able to pay attention in class and score higher on standardized tests.

One 2005 study even found that at-risk youth experienced a 27% increase in better classroom behavior and mastery of scientific concepts after a week of outdoor education.

Other benefits include improved social skills and lowered obesity rates.

A 2008 study done by Mitchell and his colleagues also revealed that low-income individuals who lived in neighborhoods with ample green space were healthier and lived longer than their more urban counterparts.

Mitchell himself, though, cautions against seeing nature as a miracle cure.

Image Credit: Pexels

“Obviously there are lots of things that drive mental and physical health. Green spaces are possibly important; one influence among many.”

There are also other factors to consider, like race and class, as people with privilege tend to have more spare time on their hands, and also fear being out in public spaces less.

If you’re wondering whether having your kids play in the backyard will reap as many benefits as a family walk, or whether a hike in the desert helps as much as a day in the mountains or at the beach, well, scientists aren’t exactly sure.

Basically, there’s no standard definition of what constitutes “nature,” but Mitchell thinks it can mean different things to different people.

Image Credit: Pexels

He says,

“The important thing is that it’s vegetated, not built-on.

For kids in particular, it’s important that there’s space to run and play. In the adult world, there’s evidence that trees are important.”

Science suggests that there’s really no such thing as an “indoor kid,” and that most children want to get outside and go for a walk or a hike if they’re given a small push.

So yes, reading is good and there are also benefits to all kids of indoor play – but science believes that none of it is a substitute for spending time in the great outdoors.

Get our your calendar and pencil in some family time in the woods along with everything else. It definitely seems as if it will be worth it, for everyone.

The post This is Why Every Kid Should Be an Outdoor Kid appeared first on UberFacts.

12 Wordsmiths Who Lit People up With Fierce Comebacks

It’s not often you get to witness somebody say something so stupid online and then see one of the wittiest comebacks ever… but here we are.

These 12 expert wordsmiths out there saw their moment and took their shot.

So here are 12 of the best comebacks of all time. Enjoy!

1. This gives new meaning to “I researched it.”

Just wow. We are in awe.

For people that ‘research’ stuff on youtube from MurderedByWords

2. You just can’t win.

Seriously, chill out.

Ain’t no right way from MurderedByWords

3. She got schooled.

Pun intended.

Taken to school. from MurderedByWords

4. Aunt Peggy for the win.

We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy.

Pour one out for Aunt Peggy from trashy

5. Like looking in a mirror.

Oh boy, that’s embarrassing.

Ironic that this happened on this sub from MurderedByWords

6. She’s not just about fast food, ladies and gentlemen.

Who uses that as an insult anyway?

Wendy’s is at it again from MurderedByWords

7. Shot down.

Nope, not gonna happen dude.

Ummm yeah that’s a big yikes from Cringetopia

8. Don’t mess with the people who have the police records.

This is just an A+ comeback. Wow.

Guy isn’t exactly wrong about the city, but the city wasn’t havin’ it from MurderedByWords

9. Please, just sit down now.

This is just too, too good.

Now sit your ass down, Stefan. from MurderedByWords

10. That’s gonna leave a mark.

Parents with the last word!

Holy hell! Call the morgue from MurderedByWords

11. Funny how that works.

And that’s what we call a perfect shut-down, everybody.

Murdered nice mask wearing from MurderedByWords

12. True perfection.

There has never been a more perfect burn, ever.

Imagine that from MurderedByWords

What’s your favorite burn of all time? Or are there comebacks you wish you’d thought of during the middle of an argument? We’d love to hear from you!

Let us know in the comments!

The post 12 Wordsmiths Who Lit People up With Fierce Comebacks appeared first on UberFacts.

Teen’s TikTok of Coming out to Her Mom Is Totally Heartwarming

As a cisgender white female, I can only imagine the fear and trepidation that goes into telling the people you love that you’re not straight. You must fear that they will see you differently, that they will love you differently, that they won’t support you and they won’t even try to understand.

I fear that too many kids get those exact, soul-crushing responses from their parents, too, which is what makes this TikTok of Catherine-Sofia Dols coming out to her mother all the more precious.

Catherine, a North Carolina high school student, came out to her mom as gay with a batch of cupcakes that read “I like girls.”

She has to prod her mother to read them, but once she does, her reaction is first “I kind of knew that,” before hugging her daughter and then clarifying in a totally adorable mom way “you mean sexually?”

@catherinesofia3945

she really said “sexually…???” anywho i came out to my mom today with cupcakes #fyp

♬ original sound – catherinesofia3945

The brief but heartwarming reaction – her mother just shrugged and went about her business – has been viewed more than 3 million times.

Catherine-Sofia said that sharing the moment with the world turned out to be great because of all of the positivity she got in return.

She told Buzzfeed,

“A lot of the comments were of people telling me that they wish their parents would react the way my mom dad, and it really saddens me to know that there are kids out there or even adults out there who get disowned from their own family.”

It can be disheartening for LGBTQ kids and allies alike to think that children are being shunned for trusting their parents with their most authentic selves.

Here’s hoping that, as old bigotries die and younger parents move up through the ranks, more kids will feel loved, seen, and supported the way Catherine-Sofia does every day.

The post Teen’s TikTok of Coming out to Her Mom Is Totally Heartwarming appeared first on UberFacts.

Kids Who Are Completely Unreasonable but Really Don’t Care

It’s a fact that kids are not any kind of reasonable before they hit a certain age – and after that, it’s still touch and go. When it comes to toddlers and preschoolers, though, pretty much anything goes.

They’ve got big emotions and no real vocabulary or other way to get them out, and so we, their parents, get to love them through even the worst days.

Which these 17 kids are definitely having – unreasonable, thy name is toddler!

17. I mean it is kind of creepy.

“I once had a 9-year-old in my class become upset during our ‘life cycle of humans’ unit when they found out they had eggs inside them.”

—dai5ytabata

16. Wow. That is some commitment.

“My daughter cried for months every time we opened the door because it opened from the right — she wanted it to open from the left.”

—nanoregi

15. There’s no logic in a toddler’s mind.

“My 3-year-old cried because her bathing suit got wet when we went swimming.”

—sac9488

14. Sometimes your feelings just don’t make sense, and that’s okay.

“My little cousin cried because his games were ‘too fun.’

So we took them away, and he started crying again.”

—stargazinggazelle

13. Yeah that’s a hard no.

“My kid threw a screaming tantrum when I wouldn’t let her lick the raw meat I was defrosting.”

—jmelendez

12. She wants what she wants.

“My 2-year-old had a sobbing meltdown because her brother had bird poop on his window and she didn’t.”

—pamk454893f19

11. Why on EARTH? Ha!

“My 3-year-old freaked out when I told him not to wipe his nose with a piece of bread then eat it afterwards.”

—kellydowlingh

10. Minds are mysterious places.

“My son once woke up crying because paper towels are rectangular-shaped and not triangular.

I had to fold a paper towel into a triangle for him to go back to sleep.”

—lindsayw4b1bb0a39

9. To be fair that is kind of freaky.

“I bought this adorable princess potty that played music and clapping noises when the sensor got wet.

The first time my daughter peed on the potty she started shrieking because she thought the music was coming out of her butt!”

—maryd427057014

8. She probably forgot already.

“My 2-year-old got mad that someone took a bite out of her strawberry.

It was her. She took a bite out of her strawberry.”

—viciousxvenom

7. I mean that is frustrating.

“He got offended that his ice cream was too cold.”

—momot4e8a6be2a

6. That is definitely a moment you can’t give in.

“I was at a hibachi restaurant when the 3-year-old girl at the table across from us had a meltdown because her mom said she couldn’t eat the gum that was stuck under the table.”

—briana4765acc6b

5. Where do they come up with this stuff?

“When my daughter was 4, she spent a couple weeks really angry with me that I didn’t name her ‘Russell.’”

—invasivemage

4. Sometimes you have to just walk away.

“My toddler started screaming because he wanted to go inside the bathroom.

The bathroom door was open. And when I said he could go in, he started screaming even louder!”

—saraf46cbcaf4c

3. Maybe that kind of seems weird the first time you realize.

“My 4-year-old daughter absolutely lost it because I couldn’t take her skin off. HER SKIN.”

—sheenaf4265800e1

2. I would have let that one go.

“My 3-year-old daughter once had a meltdown because I wouldn’t let her shove a tampon in her nose.”

—sativa227

1. Time for an anatomy lesson.

“My toddler cried on more than one occasion because the bottoms of his legs had bumps.

The bumps were his ankles.”

—stephanieg44d08460d

I’m laughing with them, not at them.

What’s the most unreasonable crap your preschooler has ever hit you with? Share it with us in the comments!

The post Kids Who Are Completely Unreasonable but Really Don’t Care appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Times People Thought They Were Totally Fired, but Somehow Got off the Hook

There’s very little that can take a person’s breath away like the moment they realize they done something horribly wrong at work. It might have been an accident, it might have been negligence, but you know it’s your fault and you’re probably going to pay with your job.

These 15 people had that moment, but it was swiftly followed by one that completely absolved them of their crime.

15. That’s definitely a bad moment.

While phoning a customer and trying to explain I needed a key to get in to the bay, I accidentally just like “Fuckinggggg” instead of like “ummmm” like a normal person.

So it was like “Hey there. Calling from (company name). Just needed access to this bay and fuckinnnnggg the door is locked so I need the key.”

The woman on the phone sounded very ESL so I got away with it. No complaint, customer didn’t even acknowledge it.

14. Pass the buck, keep your job.

I used to work as a warehouse manager for a company that sells expensive measuring instruments and managed to accidentally drop a box with glass lenses worth $1100 each. Most of them were broken. The box was freshly in so I took a huge risk by lying that they came in that way and must have gotten damaged during transport. Luckily for me they did believe me.

13. That’s some brotherly love right there.

My younger brother and I used to work at the same supermarket. When I was about 21 or so, I decided to celebrate my birthday with a huge bottle of vodka and some friends. Had completely forgotten I had work the next day.

Manager had called my phone at 6 in the morning, wondering where the hell I was, but phone had died so it went straight to voicemail.

So he called my brother, who went to check on me. Upon seeing the empty bottle of vodka and me passed the fuck out on my bed, he called the manager back and told him that the two of us had agreed to switch shifts and forgot to write it down. Totally his bad, he’ll be right over.

Little bro wakes me up, explains he covered for me, and that I need to sober up and be at work for his 9:00 shift in three hours.

By 9:00, it was clear I still was not sober, but fear of losing my job meant going to work anyway.

Little bro spends the day shepherding my drunk ass around the store to avoid customers or the manager getting close enough to smell the alcohol on me. I sobered up over the course of the day, and felt like shit, but thanks to my little brother’s actions I wasn’t actually caught.

12. There’s no drunk like wine drunk.

It was the night before I was scheduled to have a tense meeting with my boss and a client. The meeting was supposed to be a sort of “peace talk” because of tension growing between my staff and the client who was an emotional and difficult person to work with.

The night before my wife and I opened a bottle of wine with dinner and managed to finish it off before bed. This didn’t seem like too much at the time but the next morning I woke up sicker than I have ever been. I still had this difficult meeting so I got up got dressed managed to choke down some Advil and a glass of water. The minute I get on the highway to work I feel my stomach twisting. There is nothing between where I am now and where my office is except highway with almost no shoulder. Half way to work I feel that feeling in my throat, like a tightening, and my bowels are starting to make terrible noises. I realize I am going to throw up and look around my car for anything to throw up in. I spot McDonalds bag is on the floor so I grab it. Hoping I don’t need to use it I speed up trying to get to my exit so I can pull over and ralph. No dice. I held the bag up to my mouth going 85 MPH and throw up red wine into the McDonalds bag which had the strength of tissue paper because my hot acid puke punched right through the bag and into my lap. By some miracle I had extra business slacks in my car. I stopped at a gas station and changed in the bathroom.

I looked into the mirror and a haggard sallow man with flop sweat and sunken eyes stared back at me. Even with the wardrobe change I smelled faintly of booze and vomit. I went to the meeting and my boss noticed something was up. He rescheduled with the client telling me “I don’t think you’re up to it this morning”.

I for sure thought he was going to fire me for being a huge drunk but nothing happened. I don’t drink wine anymore.

11. Nice old lady is debatable.

Spilled soil samples from an ecology project I was helping our doctorate student on. I contemplated just putting them back into the containers and playing dumb, but that would have been a shitty thing.

So instead, I take our work truck, the soil coring device and in the middle of the night I go to each area again and retake the cores. The bad thing is some sites are on people’s front yards, so here I am, coring yards at 2am on a Wednesday in front of a house like some really shitty dirt burglar.

One old lady heard me and asked what I was doing in her yard, and thankfully instead of shoot me, or let my Lab Director know what the hell I was doing she simply told me that “everyone makes mistakes in science, take those scientists trying to tell us the Earth is getting too warm. Good luck with your dirt study!”

You know what silly old lady? I’ll let this one slide, ignore the fact that we are trying to work out how climate change is interacting with urban ecosystems, you didn’t rat on me. Yes I will enjoy my dirt study.

I did not get fired. No one knew what I did except that nice old lady. And now the internet.

10. The day he almost died.

I climbed in the bailer, to push a stuck bale out.

There’s a camera pointed right at the bailer, so I thought for sure I was done. But nobody saw me or asked about it.

Don’t climb in the bailer, other than stealing that’s the only other thing that will get you fired.

9. So many people’s lives would never have been the same.

Loooong time ago. My first job. In advertising in London.

I was sent a gif by my old college roommate of a woman sucking off a horse and throwing up a ton of jizz. Pretty gross. I forwarded it to his GF to encourage him not to send me this crap again. But I didn’t just send it to her. I sent it to everyone in my office email list. It included clients, some of them pretty high up and very conservative. I panicked like crazy. Luckily, my art director was dating the CEO’s PA and she was really cool. Got the IT guy to delete it from all internal emails, and then sent an email to all the clients telling them there was a virus attached to the email I had sent and to immediately delete it.

No one ever saw that horrendous gif. No one on my agency ever knew except my AD and his GF. I for sure would have been toast.

8. An honest mistake, but still…

Turns out we were allowed to grab free water from the walk in fridge but not Red Bull’s. Didn’t realize they weren’t comped until someone told me I could get in serious trouble for stealing weeks later.

7. Someone was looking out for you, that’s for sure.

I work a desk job at a small office. Bosses left for a meeting and wouldn’t be back for the rest of the day. I didn’t have much to do, so I decided to buy a couple tall cans across the street and watch some Netflix.

An hour later, during a quiet part in the show, I heard my boss talking on his phone. Apparently their meeting got cancelled and they’d been back for about 30 minutes. My desk is right outside my boss’s office, and somehow he didn’t notice anything. He’s extremely strict about work and always complains about time-wasting, but never said anything to me. I have no idea how I wasn’t caught.

6. He could never prove it was him.

Parked badly, my mirror scratched my boss’s truck. He was a prick so I never mentioned it and I forgot about it until reading this

5. No one to blame but himself.

There were some police officers at the reception desk. Not that unusual, police would show up for a wide range of reasons. I strolled by on the way to my office – they were being attended to so I didn’t need to get involved.

20 minutes later I was strolling past reception again. The police were gone. I popped into the facility manager’s office beside the reception desk. We were talking about stuff and I started telling him about this great hashish I had just got my hands on…maybe I could even get him some…

CEO sticks his head in the door and says ‘Sympleton, can I see you out here?’ I stepped out to see what’s up, and he’s standing there beside the same two police officers.

‘Oh shit’, I think.

CEO says ‘Sympleton, these officers are here to drop off a donation cheque for our refugee fund! I was just showing them around the building. Can you take some pictures of us for the website?’

4. Answering phones is one of the worst office jobs.

When I was working as an intern, there was this hideous guy who called the office and started making insane accusations and demands.

I thought I had put him on hold when I called one of my supervisors on another line and said, “There’s some crazy fuck on the other line demanding to talk to someone in charge” but actually somehow he wasn’t on hold; he was listening the whole time. I heard a voice say “WHAT?” on the other line and I was like oh fuck, I’m dead. Lol. So I picked up the phone and just hung it up lol.

By some miracle the guy never called back. I told my supervisor that he hung up and that was the end of it.

3. That’s more than one lucky break.

Spilled coffee all over my laptop. I told my supervisor that it had stopped working and she assumed it stopped because of how old it was. I got a new, much better laptop out of it!

Edit- holy shit, y’all. My fuckery blew up! While I’m sure any person with mediocre knowledge of computers could easily tell what happened, I worked for a small business with no in house IT so I truly skirted by on that blunder. They were never called.

2. As long as you fix it.

Years ago when I worked at a web agency there were several times where I accidentally took down an entire site. Luckily, I usually realized it right away and fixed the issue. The biggest site I did this to was probably Brunswick Bowling.

1. This is like the setup for a movie.

I work at a high volume luxury jewelry boutique, we handle well into the multimillions of dollars worth of jewels and timepieces everyday. When I was moving out of my apartment, I thought it would be smart to save some coin and just take the used boxes from our shipping/receiving room.

Some of you see where this is obviously headed.

I got home from work, dragged the boxes upstairs, and started to pack. 45 minutes into packing my kitchen, I heard a clink on the tile, and didn’t think anything of it, just thought to myself that I’d pick whatever just fell up later.

I forgot about it entirely and went to bed.

Next morning comes around, it’s about 6am. Too dark to see with just the daylight, and too early for me to want to turn too many lights on. I walk into the kitchen to get some coffee going and stepped right on a 9-carat GIA flawless diamond ring. I accidentally stole and then stepped on a 1.3 MILLION DOLLAR RING.

I figured if could take it without anyone noticing, I could put it back the same way. So I tucked it into my lunch bag, and snuck it into our inventory without anybody noticing a damn thing.

I’m so secondhand relieved I think I need a drink!

Would you add a story to this list? Share it with us in the comments!

The post 15 Times People Thought They Were Totally Fired, but Somehow Got off the Hook appeared first on UberFacts.