Category: irl

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People Share the Moment They Realized They Were Attracted to the Opposite Sex

Do you remember this moment?

Adolescence is an awkward time for everyone, but once sexuality comes into the mix.. shit starts tuh get cuhRAYzy.

The straight people of AskReddit were kind enough to share their first moments of sexual emergence – aka “the moment they knew they wanted dat ass.” Enjoy!

1. Best to start young

Kindergarten.

Girl had her hair in a braid.

I noticed it looked a certain way, but I didn’t have the word to describe it. I asked my teacher to help me.

“Braid?” she asked.

“No,” I said.

We went through four or five more words. After each no, she’d ask me to explain more. Eventually she figured out the word.

“Oh,” she said, “you think it’s pretty.”

“Yeah,” I said, “she’s pretty.”

2. Understood

My sister had spice girls on VHS. I was very interested in that movie.

3. Politics. Le sigh…

There used to be a website called whitehouse.com

It was NOT a site dedicated to the White House. It was porn. My friends and I quickly exited the window in shock, but I thought, “I liked that.”

4. There ya go

When I was ten and found an underwear magazine in the mail

5. “One day” lololol

One day in 5th grade I noticed a lot of the girls in my class had boobs.

6. That ought to do it

The movie titanic, during that one drawing scene.

7. “…all I remember was ass”

11 years old. I was sitting in the drive through at El Pollo Loco, and this girl walked by in 1990s spandex jean shorts.

And all I remember was ass.

8. Boobs are magical…

I was pretty young like 5 or 6 something like that, my parent put on Cartoon Network but didn’t notice when it’s runtime or whatever was over and the channel switched to showing movies, one of the movies had this nude scene in it, I don’t remember much of what it was about, I just remember there was a naked lady tied up to a chair, anyways, the moment I saw that lady’s boobs I was like…yep I gotta get my hands on a pair of those.

9. Ok… if you’re into deadly plant sex

Poison Ivy in Batman and Robin. Weird but it did something for me.

10. “I wonder if I still think girls are gross…”

It wasn’t a gradual realization for me. I was sitting, bored, in a sixth grade class, when I thought, “I wonder if I still think girls are gross,” followed immediately by, “I wonder if I am gay.” So I imagined myself kissing Mike, a hot piece of sixth-grade male ass on my right. No, that was disgusting.

Then I imagined myself kissing Clarissa, on my left. And this started the most intense and all-consuming crush I’ve ever had, or ever will have. It was fucking magical.

11. What a man…

When I was four I saw a photo of Fabio. What followed was an exchange that went something like this:

“Mom. Is that a man? (looking at his thighs) He looks like a tree.”

“Yes. His name is Fabio.”

“I like him a lot.”

12. “…and that’s when I knew I liked girls.”

5th grade. This new girl transferred to our school from somewhere else, and we ended up sitting next to each other in computer class. We were playing some silly game and trying to help each other but, neither of us was doing great. Something happened in the game that was really silly and we both started laughing. Watching her smiling and laughing like that was the start of my first real crush, and that’s when I knew I liked girls.

13. ::Nanny laugh::

When I saw The Nanny on tv for the first time… Really did it for me. The Nanny named Fran!

14. DUH

Princess Leia.

15. Awwwww

Met this girl in primary, for my little mind she was perfect i guess. Well long story short i had a crush on her for 13 years and then i finally asked her out and now I’m married to her. Btw i met her when i was 5 and finally had the courage to ask her out when i was 18 and at this point she was on the other side of the country but we made it work.

16. TL;DR – they found out on Wednesday

When I was 7 and Addams Family movie came out and I saw Christina Ricci. That’s when I knew I liked girls and gothic girls that have a possibility of killing me really attracted me. Same to this day

17. Yaaaaassss

Age 7. Saw a boy casually walking onto the soccer field and I was like “ok, I really like something about that swagger”

I certainly remember my first moment, do you? Let us know in the comments!

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15 Bartenders Share the Strangest Conversations They’ve Overheard

One perk of being a bartender: hearing all the drunks and weirdos tell their tales. People spill out their guts to barkeeps, and even if they’re not being directly addressed, you know they’re still listening to everything going on on the other side of the bar.

In this AskReddit article, bartenders reveal the weirdest conversations they’ve ever heard on the job.

#1. Awwwww

“Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, “Hey look, the bartender’s really cute.”

Friend: “No he’s not!”

Response: “Oh yeah, you’re right.”

#2. Negotiations

“Work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I’ve heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and escorts.

Last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch.”

#3. Classy

“Had a husband and wife who were by far the most rude people I’ve ever encountered, talking with a traveling business man. By the end of the night the business man was propositioning the woman to go back to his hotel room for some money.”

#4. Lots of cheating

“Lots and lots of cheaters. It’s weird that serial cheaters take their girls to the same spot.”

#5. Heated argument

“I’ve bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. “Look all I’m saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generation’s perception of how many police helicopters exist.” Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.”

#6. Tennis ladies

“I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis-ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely sh*tfaced on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic (he’s Mexican), they would say how love his beard, would talk about their fav (not tennis related) positions, how they kept their nether-regions tidy, slip him their numbers, how sh*t their husbands were, etc. Gave me death glares every time I’d be bartending/bar backing with him lol.”

#7. So obvious

“On Valentine’s Day this year, we had a guest who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn’t see the girl, but it was so obvious.”

#8. Categorize them

“I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service, and was basically a profile censor. She described her job as being 80% dick pic removal, and had seen so many she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories.”

#9. Shady business

“I heard some chick say “and the worse part about it, is that lucky bastard got a whole gram of crystal out it for free.”

#10. Now I’m in love with myself

“I hated myself until I discovered masturbation.”

#11. Hahahaha

“Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I’ve heard. At first the usual “Lemme tell ya, you’re a good person. I love you man.” Later on (still fairly basic): “Fuck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!”

To finally this gem: “If a tornado were to blow you away… I would fly after you.”

#12. Adorable

“Guy: “I think I’m going to need a coke chaser for this one.” Girl, presumably SO: “we already did all the coke…” Guy: “Coca Cola, you idiot!”

Not even the most memorable, just the most recent. For sure, a real snapshot into their relationship.”

#13. Wonder how that worked out…

“I once listened to three people have an in depth discussion about how they were going to kill the “local vampire” and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire is surely from.

My favorite though what a heated debate over whether the first Robin would be a crime fighter if Batman hadn’t picked him up and trained him.”

#14. Sounds fun

“I once heard a guy tell his buddy, “It’s fun, it’s like laser tag but with real guns” That was twenty years ago and to this day kick myself for not getting the whole story.”

#15. These are on the house

“A customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar, not too crowded but a long bar. Guy couldn’t have been more than 25. I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear:

“No, I don’t care! She’s my sister, she is THIRTEEN and there is no reason she should be doing cocaine! At all!”

Gave him a few drinks on the house that night.”

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15 People Reveal the Rudest Thing a Guest Has Done in Their Home

A good houseguest is respectful, keeps things relatively clean, and maybe offers to do the dishes. A not-so-good houseguest…well, here are 15 stories of what that looks like:

1. It’s a simple request

I’ve made this post before so I’ll just copy paste it here:

Not my house but my car. I don’t have many rules for passengers when I’m driving but there are two I will never budge on.
1: Wear your seat belt.
2: Do not smoke in my car.

I had just bought a car, it wasn’t brand new but I knew the previous (and only) owner and I knew he was a car guy who took meticulous care of his cars inside and out. He wouldn’t even sell me the car before he had given the engine a proper service. Within a week of getting the car a friend asked for a lift to the train station, I knew he smoked so as we walked to the car I told him specifically to wait until we get to the station before he lights up (a 10 minute ride at most).

I back out of the parking spot, drive to the exit of the parking lot and as I check my left hand side for oncoming cars I hear from my right the distinctive sound of a lighter sparking up. Dude could not even fucking wait until we were out of the fucking car park before he just had to have his goddamn cigarette. I ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing and he just looks at me and says “Relax, it’s not like it’s a new car.” Fucker ended up walking to the train station.

2. I hope they paid the plumbing bill

my 10-year-old distant cousin unwrapped 3 new bars of soap and flushed them down the toilet on the 3rd floor of my house. That night, we returned from dinner to find water dripping from the ceiling on the first floor—the third floor bathroom had flooded and the water leaked through the floor, dripped from the ceiling of the second floor, and leaked though to the ceiling of the first floor. the whole mess cost thousands of dollars to repair.

the kid confessed everything with great glee and his mother just thought it was the funniest thing.

3. So disrespectful

When I was in university, one of roommates asked if a high school friend of his from back home could come visit and stay in our apartment for a night or two. I agreed, but I was writing midterms and was stressed beyond belief so I firmly requested that they not party at our place so that I could get to sleep uninterrupted.

I came home from the library at 11pm and they were both shitfaced. My roommate was passed out in his bedroom, there was rank-smelling puke all over the toilet seat, and his friend had brought a girl home from the campus bar and was currently having sex in my bed. WTF.

I kicked his (and her) asses out of the apartment, and then ended up doing laundry at 11:30pm because my sheets were sweaty and covered in their fuck-juices.

I no longer speak with this roommate.

4. Who does that?

I had a collection of 1$ casino chips, one from every casino I had been to. A housemate invites some people over and a guy sees them sitting somewhere and starts playing with them. I figure the guy likes to fidget so it’s no big deal. Guy ended up taking a bunch a mismatched casino chips and even apparently tried buying a drink at the bar with them. Luckily one of the other guys he went out with got them back to me but seriously? Who does that?

5. How not to handle an accident

My cousin and her daughter, who has down syndrome, were visiting and staying with me in my home. Her kid pooped in a quilt, and for some reason my cousin rolled it up and shoved it in the closet in the guest room without telling me.

I discovered it after they left (it was rolled up pretty good so I didn’t smell it immediately) because my dog stood in front of the closet and barked nonstop until I came and found it…She was so offended by it and didn’t stop barking until it was completely cleaned up, haha.

Edit: I called her and said, “I found the quilt from your bed rolled up with poop in the closet…what happened?” And she said, “Oh, daughter had an accident. Sorry!”

6. Why?

I let a guy I knew from college crash at my place for a few days when he was in town for a conference. Fed him, drank a bunch of liquor with him, etc. Thought I was being very hospitable. He had an early flight so on the last day he left before I woke up. Went into my bathroom and saw he had taken my bar of soap and written some stupid song lyrics all over my bathroom mirror. This was the master bathroom so it had two sinks and the mirror was like 8 ft by 4 ft at least. It was huge letters and there was more soap than mirror. Took me hours to get it clean. Like what the fuck dude.

7. Three weeks of drama

We had two couples come to stay with us from overseas and one of the couples spent the entire time arguing and getting into massive fights. This included screaming, crying, slamming doors, sulking, the works. For three weeks. It was the longest three weeks of my life.

8. True friends

Stole $100. But this story has a happy ending.

When I was young I had three friends over, all of them brothers. The oldest was my age, the middle was a couple years younger (same age as my brother), and they had brought their youngest brother with them. He was a little bitch.

Well that day my dad let me hang onto a $100 bill because I thought it was cool and had never seen one. I showed it off to my friends and left it on my side table. I didn’t even notice it go missing.

Well, here’s how the story goes. My friends had left, and when they got near their house, the youngest brother pulled out the $100 and said “hey guys, look what I took.” The two older brothers got pissed. They dragged him crying all the way back to my house, handed me the $100 that I hadn’t even realized was missing, and forced him to apologize. Friends of integrity right there.

9. Who dyes their hair at someone else’s house?

My really close friend brought his now ex girlfriend that was super controlling over while me and a few other friends were hanging out, about thirty minutes in she decided that she is going to go into my super white bathroom and dye her hair black, not only this but if you’ve never dyed your hair before you must rinse your hair out to get excess dye out. She ended up staining my white counters, bath tub/ shower, floor, two decorative towels, my carpet outside the bathroom and my toilet. I was so irate and I don’t think she understood that you do not do this shit in someone else’s house without asking them. Literally everyone that was over including me told her to get her now just showered naked ass out of my house. I was so done because she just stained soooooo much shit that will not come out easy. It makes my blood boil thinking about it now.

10. I would just burn it

My boyfriend invited a couple dudes over while I was at work because we only have a 1 bedroom apartment and I don’t always enjoy sitting there watching them game. It was considerate. Anyways, he was asleep and they were gone when I got home since I work 3rd shift. I noticed my new bathroom mat was discolored and assumed it was from shoes and didn’t closely observe. Anyways, I made him look at it with me when he got up because I was a bit mad since it was brand new. Upon further observation, we came to the conclusion that before leaving, his friend wiped shit all over my new bathroom mat. It turned out to be brown finger streaks across the whole thing! Threw that out immediately. The toilet paper was readily available BTW… They are not allowed in the apartment anymore, and it was weird because they weren’t on bad terms they actually wanted to hang out again.

11. Not for sitting

we had a party at our house. Guests ended up using the bathroom in our bedroom as well because of lines on the guest toilet. We have (had) one of those “only attached to the wall and no legs to support” sinks on top of a slim long shelf kinda thing. They sat on the damn thing and broke it. I was beyond belief how someone could sit on something that looks, feels and very obviously shows it is not made to carry weight and is not supported.

Now it has legs…

12. Always clear the browser history

Oh i forgot this one! A friend of a relative stayed with my parents for a week, the guy was Argentinian, late 50s. He was very old fashioned, religious etc, for example, he even told my parents that it was wrong that i was living with my boyfriend without being married.

One day he asked my mum to use her PC “to check his email” was in there for quite a while, riiiight.. You guessed it, he was watching porn, but i guess he didn’t remember the website he wanted because he first googled in Spanish “young ladies with dark hair having sex” and a few variations of that. My mum found all that in her Internet history, called him out, he tried to blame my (then 16 year old) brother, who had his own PC, speaks mostly English (wouldn’t have googled in spanish) and was away in a camping trip

He wasn’t welcomed back.

13. At least there was no meth

I was going to post about the time I was really angered by friends of friends staying and emptying our bar fridge (it was fully stocked with beer), emptying the wine fridge (also stocked), and a random bottle of bailey’s (none of these things go together?!? Heathens) and not offering to replace any of it, while making themselves completely at home and even inviting guests over to view “their place.” But in reading these, I’m starting to feel much better that no meth was involved – maybe it’s time for me to let that grudge go.

14. So. Gross.

My grandfather’s cousin was staying with us a for a week; he has a bladder problem and would refuse to wear adult diapers! What followed was him leaving a trail of pee (sometimes poo), when he walked around the house… didn’t take too long for my mother to ask his son to take him back home.

15. Poor kiddo

I was babysitting my neighbours daughter. My neighbour was supposed to pick up the girl hours before and didn’t answer any of my messages prior. I got the living room ready just in case if she was gonna stay the night. It was close to midnight and he finally came to pick her up. The dad ranged the bell and when I answered the door he was sooo wasted. He barged in and walked past me to go to kitchen and everything that was in his grasp, he literally destroyed. He went to the fridge and drank juice straight from the carton. He then walked back to the living room where his daughter was, then was spewing random shit to her and mid sentence he vomited all over my couch and passed out after.

EDIT: For those of you asking;

Yes he did apologize and paid to clean the couch.

The daughter at that time just started first grade, so she was probably 6 or 7. She’s very smart, so she was aware of what was going on.

Did I call CPS? Yes. He turned out to be an alcoholic and it wasn’t the first time he has done this.

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People Reveal the Worst City They’ve Ever Visited in Their Lives

What’s your worst travel experience of all time? A place you never want to go back to because it left such a bad impression on you?

I can’t say I’ve ever been anywhere that I truly despised because I’ve always found good and bad in every place I’ve visited.

But these AskReddit users sure have strong opinions about this subject.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

#1. A British entry

“Slough. Full of grey buildings, endless industrial estates, half-assed ‘modern’ architecture and mobile phone accessory shops. And it’s surprisingly expensive to live there. However, it produced my mom who is the nicest person ever.”

#2. Not normal

“Grew up in Johannesburg, South Africa. It’s entirely unmaintained, and has a very unique style of absolute apathetic violence against innocent people. I moved to New Zealand and years later realized that hearing screams that ended in the sound of a gunshot wasn’t a normal thing to go to sleep to during the night.”

#3. Middle East

“Baghdad.

Food wasn’t that great. Traffic. Roadside bombs. Air quality wasn’t great.

For a city I’ve been to not at a time of war, Cairo was one of the most disappointing and disgusting experiences I have ever had in my life. Everything is a tourist scam.”

#4. Rough city

“Camden, NJ – where I found my car sitting on blocks with its wheels removed.

Our friends sold their Camden home at a huge loss just to get away from what they called “a nightmarish place to live.”

#5. Sounds awful

“Baker, California

If you’ve ever driven between Vegas and Southern California, you know what I’m talking about. It’s constantly the hottest place in the summer. Literally 10 degrees hotter than 5 miles down the road. The gas prices are insane. They have an alien themed jerky and hot sauce store (which is pretty awesome). And they have the worlds tallest thermometer because that town is the butthole of the country.”

#6. Not a good place

“East Saint Louis, Illinois. It would have to improve to be a ghetto. Broke ass buildings, broke ass roads and broke ass people. Don’t even slow down on your way through.”

#7. The Philippines

“Angeles in the Philippines.

It’s the home of a former US Air Force base, but that base got destroyed by the Pinatubo volcano.

Angeles became the town where aging and fat former US military personnel goes on vacation to relive the heydays of their youth. One where you’d rent one or more women for the night for next to nothing. One where you walk into a bar and see those men feed shots to young girls, followed by empty laughter because they really don’t have a lot to say each other: they’re all just passing time until they go to their seedy bedrooms with the girl for the night and their one shot.

The city has nothing else going for it, no industry or anything. Their life blood was cut off when the base closed and they had to make do with sex work.

We were passing through while visiting the destruction of the volcano and stayed for 2 nights.

And here’s the thing: I forgot my pouch with money, credit cards, passport in that seedy hotel with mirrors on the ceiling when I left for the next city, 4 hours north.

And when I returned half a day later to pick it up, the lady at the reception said “we found it and put it in a safe.” Everything was still there.

(Note: this was 20 years ago. Things may be different today).”

#8. Ugh

“Dubai. A monument to excess and unhealthy consumerism built on slave labour. Once your awe of the magnificent buildings fade it feels like a soulless tourist trap with a sinister undertone. Everything just feels off. I think it’s an abomination of a city.”

#9. I’ve heard this from numerous people

“Niagara Falls (US side) was depressing as sh*t. We went with low expectations, because we were only going there for a punk show and figured we’d stay in the tourist district and see the sights, and still left feeling disappointed.

The falls were cool, but the few blocks surrounding it are full of sh*tty, crowded tourist traps, and if you leave that small area you are immediately surrounded by extreme poverty and sketchy neighborhoods.

A local told us that pretty much all of the money made in the area gets sent back to NYC because that’s where the companies who own the casinos and business are located, so nothing really ends up going back into the local economy. A lot of bullsh*t. Show was good, though.”

#10. Camden again

“Easily Camden, New Jersey. I only went there to see a show at the venue there, but driving to the venue looked like I was in a third world country. I also took a wrong turn when walking from the show to my car, and it got sketchy really quick. Camden is such a sh*t hole!”

#11. What a nice place!

“Paisley Scotland.

Watched a bunch of kids get their ass kicked for gang beat ins, then bought Chinese food from some guy who tied a tshirt around his hand to stop the blood.”

#12. Haiti

“Port au Prince, Haiti

The place makes the infrastructure of Gary, Indiana look state of the art.

I haven’t been back in 20 years, but it began with leaving the airport. You go through the exit doors to be completely mobbed by people. I can’t tell if they are trying to carry your luggage for money or just outright steal it.

The one time we flew in after dark….holy shit getting a rental car was an adventure. Evidently they keep the rental cars off the airport property at night. We got driven to this steel walled compound to get our rental car. The doors open and men with rifles come out to cover our entry. They had this makeshift bunker type of thing they jump into.

Driving? The roads have potholes you could bury a body and the car that the body was driving in. We used to rent a 4×4 SUV just to drive on the public roads. Power lines down everywhere, no road signs…..just hire someone to drive you.

Police and customs? Corrupt beyond belief.

Poverty? The worst I have ever seen. The tin huts in the shanty towns were about the size of my walk-in closet back in the states. I always recall my driver telling me about the locals eating dirt. There was good dirt to eat and bad dirt to eat. I have no idea WTF made dirt good or bad to eat (I guess they would mix it with some type of fat and make like a pancake or cookie out of it). The water in those shanty towns? It was a common well that looked like a mud puddle where a 3 year old just spent the last 20 minutes tap dancing in it.

The people were wonderful for the most part. There were some really bad parts of town, but for the most part people were good to us.”

#13. Not a fan

“Its a tie between Kayenta, AZ and Cuba, NM. If you get out of your car, you will be swarmed by feral or abandoned dogs and drunk locals asking for gas money. Very tough to avoid colliding with drunk drivers or adopting a dog when driving through.”

#14. Don’t go out alone

“Fayetteville, North Carolina. Never go there alone or at night. Most of the shops cater to the tastes of young men, because of the military base.”

#15. UK

“Blackpool.

Its talked up as a great seaside destination with a world famous pier. Its awful, dingy, grey and signficantky worse than Scarborough and Bournemouth.”

Idk about you, but I definitely just made a few mental notes…

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People Share the Things They Didn’t Know Were “So American” Until They Traveled Outside the U.S.

You ever travel outside of the U.S. and people immediately have you pegged as an American? I personally think most Americans get a pretty bad rap as travelers due to a very select few who are ignorant and obnoxious. But I also think we are not nearly as bad as some other travelers abroad.

Here are 15 things you might not realize make you stand out as “totally American” in countries across the pond.

#15. Ketchup isn’t free.

“At a buffet in Germany, I had to pay for ketchup.”

#14. The size of cars.

“I did an art history course in Italy. What really stood out to me was the size of cars over there. Over here you have a mix of mid sized sedans and pick up trucks/SUV’S, with the occasional compact car (back when I went compact cars here were incredibly scarce). Over there, it seemed like most everyone drove a compact car, with the occasional sports car. I remember counting six pickup trucks in the 10 days I was there (for comparison, I can name more than 6 people I know with a pick up here).”

#13. The whole of Ireland.

“Massively wide roads/lanes. The whole of Ireland made me feel claustrophobic, but when I got back home the roads felt like way too much wasted space.”

#12. Constantly refilled.

“Having your drink constantly refilled ay restaurants. I just wanna drink a ton of water alright?”

#11. Violently American.

“Tailgates. I’ve lived in the states my entire life, but when my Spanish girlfriend came to visit I wasn’t sure what I could show her that really exhibited American culture. There are plenty of American stereotypes you see on TV, but it wasn’t until I took her to a tailgate that I realized how violently American the whole experience is. A huge parking lot full of drunk twenty year olds bouncing on trucks bigger than most European apartments, with half the trucks blaring country, and the other half blasting rap. Solo cups and beer cans all over the place, grills, corn hole, etc. I’ve traveled to quite a few different countries, and I can’t really see a tailgate happening most other places.”

#10. American flavored.

“Ranch flavor Doritos in the Netherlands are called “Cool American” flavor.”

#9. Drive-thrus.

“I’m from northern europe but have visited USA couple of times. Their love for SUV cars and drive-thru is unreal, like there is a dunkin, subway and three kinds of fast food place next to each other and all of them have a drive-thru.

Edit: meant drive-thru, not drive-in.”

#8. A made-up crime.

“Jaywalking. The rest of the world thinks this is a made-up crime you only see in movies with corrupt cops.”

#7. Yes it is.

“I’ve never been abroad. Is that American enough?”

#6. Portion size.

“Portion sizes.

My high school senior trip to London, as a typically ravenous appetite 18 year old, I couldn’t get over how small everything was standard.”

#5. I think you underestimate the size of our avocados.

“Small avocados.

Went to puerto rico. Was like, ‘yo ill have like 6 of those stuffed avocados’. Buddy was like, ‘yo gringo, i think you underestimate the size of our avocados here. Just have one and ill being you more if you want after’.

I had half of one. It was like a football.”

#4. Types of soda.

“Getting to choose from like 50 different types and subtypes of sodas.​

Hearing commercials advocating you to go to the doctor and demand a prescription for whatever fantasy pill is new to the market on the radio like it is no big deal.”

#3. How large grocery stores are.

“how large grocery stores are here. My wife is not american and we lived in China and were in HK all the time… they had large international stores that were great and she didnt really grasp the size of american grocery stores till our first week in the USA and there’s 150 feet of cereals on one aisle”

#2. Being loud.

“The stereotype about us being loud is true. I never thought of myself as being loud until I went abroad and would hang up the phone after speaking in what I thought was appropriate volume to find everyone around me was staring at me, and realized how much more quiet they were lol whoops”

#1. Smiling and being friendly.

“I moved to England from Texas about six years ago. One of the major things that I noticed was that smiling and being friendly towards strangers was considered bizarre. This is a bit true in any metropolitan area, but especially in the UK. In Texas I was used to smiling at people, asking for directions if I needed them, and being friendly towards strangers. I learned very quickly that smiling at someone on the tube, or asking someone for directions on the street immediately makes someone think you’re trying to scam/rob them or you’re crazy.”

Go ahead and travel anyway. People are generally forgiving.

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15 Older People Confess What They like About Millennials and It’ll Warm Your Cold Heart

You can’t turn around these days without seeing Baby Boomers insulting millennials for literally every little thing they do. But while this is definitely a popular narrative that a lot of places have tried to push, the fact is that there are plenty of elderly people who sympathize with the problem young people today are facing.

Heck, a lot of them even admire the way millennials are handling things, as this Reddit thread will show you.

1. Smashing gender divides

I’m 62, and I’m impressed that boys and girls in junior high and high school actually are friends with each other. I even saw the kids playing a quick pickup game of touch football – boys and girls – at the middle school while waiting for the bus to come over from the elementary school. Never would have happened in my generation.

2. Fun music

My kids laugh because I like rap as much as they do.

They do get tired of me telling them the original sampled sources and musical roots.

3. Video games are awesome now

61 years old here, and I love my video games as much as younger people.

4. No worries

The phrase “No Worries” after you apologize for a delay holding someone up. Has a much warmer feel than any other equivalent.

5. Hilarious slang terms

Yeet. I don’t know what it is, but that word just makes me laugh. I’ll be 48 this year, and hopefully still have many years before I yeet the f**k off this mortal coil.

6. Changing priorities

Putting more of a priority on personal life and goals than on “career”. The realization that devotion to employer is a dead-end is one that not so many of my fellow Gen-Xers have cottoned to.

7. Memes!

I’m 48 and I love memes. I’m facebook friends with many of my college students and I’m sometimes in tears laughing over the memes they post. I love the levels of cultural knowledge required to “get” them. Even at 48, I still feel rebelliously like I’m getting something that my parents don’t get.

8. Kindness rules

How kind and understanding they are to kids who are different.

My first grader just went to a party for a kid with Downs this last weekend. He invited his whole class and at least 2/3 of them showed up to celebrate with him. Warmed my heart.

9. Adopt don’t shop

They adopt pets rather than buying the designer ones.

10. Keepin’ it casual

Casual dress codes!

Some of the managers are younger than me now and they do not care what anyone wears to work.

Die, high heels!

11. Tolerance

You guys are tolerant as hell. I work in a school and kids can wear nerdy shit and not wonder who they’re gonna have to fight first.

Back in the 90’s I smuggled my Star Wars books into the cafeteria like I was carrying enigma machine codes.

12. Advanced technology

I am amazed that you all can play game consoles with what seems like twenty different god damned buttons on the controller. And use them all almost simultaneously!

13. More living

I like that they are less into stuff and more into experiences.

14. Acceptance

I was a teen when “gay” was still an insult.

Kids these days are so friggen cool.

15. Dabbing

Dabbing. I dab the f**k out of my wife and kids. I open my arms and walk to them like I’m going to hug them, then I dab away.

The post 15 Older People Confess What They like About Millennials and It’ll Warm Your Cold Heart appeared first on UberFacts.

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20+ of the The Shadiest “It’s Not What it Looks Like!” Stories

Every now and then, the good people of Reddit start discussing things that make me feel a lot better about myself.

This was one of those occasions.

#1. Uh huh, sure… STALKER

“About 5 1/2 years ago, I dated a guy for like 2 months. While I was dating him, I was in the process of house-hunting. I’d mentioned that the neighborhood he was living in, particularly, was one I had been hoping to buy in. Our relationship fizzled, and we mutually split. Fast-forward a couple months, and a house was on the market across the street and a couple down from his. I hated the awkward fact it was so close to his, but I loved the house itself, and like I’d said, I really wanted to buy in that neighborhood and had been having crap luck.”

“So I did what is normally recommended to anyone to do when looking at new homes… I visited in the evening to check out noise/activity levels. At no point did I contact the guy because we hadn’t dated that long and I didn’t even know if I’d ultimately end up living there. So I was parked at the house I liked when my ex suddenly walked out of his house taking his roommate’s dog for a walk. I freaked… realized how bad it might look, like maybe I was stalking him or something, and I wasn’t sure if he’d seen me or my car, so I froze as I wondered whether to just do nothing and hope he didn’t see, or try to explain myself.”

“I opted for the latter. I rolled down my window and awkwardly was like, “heyyyyy…….” and explained to him that I was thinking of buying that house. He seemed cool about it, but who knows what was really going through his mind.

I did ultimately buy the house and still live there, and he still lives across the street. Fun times!”

#2. “I put it between the front seats of my dad’s car…”

“This happened in high school, shortly after I started dating my first “boyfriend”. At the time, I would often wear a camisole with a built-in bra layered under a V-neck tee. One day, I was wearing this outfit but wanted to go shopping after school for other shirts, so I brought a regular bra with me to try stuff on.”

“After I got out of the store, I for some reason didn’t want to put the bra in my bag so I put it in the armrest compartment between the front seats of my dad’s car, and of course immediately forgot it was there.”

“The next day, my parents were getting ready to go somewhere. They had left the house, but moments later my mom barged back in, demanding to know why I was “taking off my clothes in the car”. I frantically tried to explain the clothes shopping story, but to this day I’m not sure she bought it.”

#3. “Oh hey, be quiet, he just fell asleep…”

“Sister came home to her boyfriend and our brother laying his head in his lap (her bf was holding his head in his lap and stroking his head and back) she was confused and as soon as she opened her mouth her bf turned around “oh hey, be quiet, he just fell asleep.” Apparently my brother got food poisoning and was throwing up constantly, her bf showed up to return some things she left at his house. So being* him, he helped our brother get some medicine from the store, change, and stroked his head on the couch till he fell asleep (it took a while since he was always getting up to throw up). We all laugh about it now :))”

“Edit: OKAY! To clear up some confusion, me and my sister are both 16, her boyfriend is 17, and my brother is 19 going on 20 here soon! Also! My brother is shorter than her bf (bro: 5’9, sbf: 6’1). This happened like 3 months ago.

Edit2: and my brother and sbf are both Bi, but sbf has only ever dated 1 guy years ago and my brother is like basically gay at this point lmfao, and for all those asking, they consider each other brothers”

#4. I CAN EXPLAIN!

“I work at a school portrait company. I retouch thousands of images and sometimes I need to retouch inappropriate things. Well this high school girl was wearing a see through shirt and I had to retouch out her nipples. I was in the office by myself as a 20 something year old man when a girl walks in and sees me zoomed in on this high school girls see through shirt… I CAN EXPLAIN! I told her I’m not a creep, I’m just retouching her shirt so you can’t see her nipples… It was very awkward but since she worked as a photographer she completely understood once I explained.”

#5. “Those aren’t mine!”

“Mine’s a little different. I was at a corporate function, and noticed that the president of the company was trying to clean his glasses with a paper napkin. Being the well-prepared person I am, I always keep a microfiber cloth in my pocket – I wear glasses, too, and I prefer to actually clean the glasses, not just smudge the oils around. I digress.”

“So I reach into my pocket, grab a cloth, and hand it to him. And he responds with a confused “Huh.”Now, at this time I also have a son who is going through potty training, so I tended to keep spare clothes; usually in my backpack, but also in the pockets of my overcoat.”

“I look over, and the president of my company is kind of staring at the (unused, thank God) pair of Jake and the Neverland Pirates underwear, boys size small, I just handed him. And of course, my immediate response wasn’t to laugh, wasn’t to say “oh, those are my kid’s backup pair” … no, my response was to immediately say “those aren’t mine!” Which was 1) obvious, and 2) not guilty sounding at all.”

#6. “wait… I can explain”

“I was practicing anatomy for drawing of course. So… I had to look up naked models and stuff. No big deal. Just to get the human form down. Nothing too weird. I get done sketching for the day and went to bed. Over the weekend I was animating and my dad walked in my room to ask me something. Well… he goes “what the hell?” And picks up a drawing. I was like “what?” And he sees these drawings… I legit said the line “wait… I can explain” and he walked away laughing.”

#7. Peeping perv

“One of my friends was in a cycling accident commuting home from class one night and wound up in the ER. She needed someone to make sure her dog, Fox, is taken care of and tells me she left her bedroom window unlocked so I should be able to get in the house. Now Fox is semi familiar with me but I still don’t like the idea of crawling in a window and facing a pretty big dog unannounced.”

“So I’ve got the window in the alley cracked and I’m trying to call Fox and let her know that I’m there and coming in. I’m saying stuff like “Hey Foxy girl, Foxy Lady etc etc” meanwhile the upstairs neighbor hears all of this while she is sitting on the toilet and thinks someone is doing some perv peeping tom stuff looking into windows. Luckily it was all cleared up pretty quickly as we were all college kids that saw each other in and out fairly often, but it almost took a bad turn.”

#8. “Sexy” girl cats

“A couple years ago, I started a new job. As a result, I bought a house. My wife and I own a cat and we were tired of the cat box making one of the restrooms smell bad. We ended up putting a cat door in the door that leads to the garage and putting his box out there. This way the cat can piss & shit as he pleases without making the house smell bad. We noticed that when he did his business, he would stare intently right Into the wall. As a joke, my wife and I decided to get some cat pin up pictures on the part of the wall he stares at. So that night, I find a few pics of “sexy” girl cats online. I found Pepe le pew’s GF, Felix the cats gf and a couple others. All of them in compromising poses or with a seductive look on their face (nothing pornographic).”

“The next day at work, I tried sending them to the color printer. I was especially careful as the color printer was in the main office where there was nothing but girls working. I went in to make sure there was no one near it before going back to my office and sending it through with a few other documents I needed. Sure enough, I walk back into the office to grab my “papers” and one of the older ladies in the office is standing there looking at it with an awkward but shocked look on her face.”

“My jaw dropped as I tried explaining it to her. It came out something along the lines of “its for my cat, I swear!” Well, she wasn’t really believing me, and just walked away. I never really had the same friendly relationship with her after that. I guess she just thought I was some weirdo, which I don’t blame her. Oh well, the cat loves his pictures and admires them every time he drops a deuce.”

#9. Always check your pockets…

“I got super high and drunk one night with my best friend and his gf. They stayed at my house. My friend is a loud snorer so his gf ended up sleeping on my couch. My best friend in my guest room upstairs.”

“At 4 am I woke up still pretty drunk and high. For some reason I felt the need to check social media but couldn’t find my phone. Drunk and high Me decided to go downstairs to find my phone.”

“Without realizing his gf was on the couch, I reach down by a pillow to check for my phone. She wakes up, and I’m left there having to explain at 4am why I’m grabbing her face.

I don’t think she believes my story to this day and I look like a rapist. My phone was in my pocket the whole time.”

#10. A straight-laced mistake

“I was volunteering at a pool for my instructor’s certification. The girl I was with was really thirsty and asked if I would mind getting her a Powerade from the vending machine since she couldn’t leave her class. She told me where her wallet was so I could get her change. Another staff member walked in while I was taking the money from her wallet. I was the most straightlaced, nervous kid on Earth, lol. I explained. She either believed me or checked with the lifeguard later, but either way, the first girl got her Powerade and the pool hired me later, so the second girl knows I’m not a thief. 😂”

#11. Words are important

“In the beginning months of a relationship, I was staying over at my girlfriend’s apartment. We were in bed, and the only light in the room came from a bright lamp on the end table, on her side of the bed. Now, in addition to being a bit sensitive to bright light, I have a lazy eye that makes it hard to focus on things that are really close. Things like my girlfriend, at that particular moment.”

“So naturally, I asked, “Could you turn off the light? You’re really hard to look at.” I don’t know which of us had the bigger look of horror on our faces.

EDIT: My first silver! And I came soooooo close to not posting, thinking it wasn’t quality enough a comment.”

#12.”It was a dog bite!”

“A female friend of mine who is a Police Officer was on a welfare check and was bit by the property owners dog. She was about a mile from my house when bit and because I am an EMT she decided to call me to see if I could inspect where she was bitten and advise if she needed to go to the hospital. She show up at my house and limps into the kitchen telling me the dog bit her just below her left butt cheek on the rear of her upper thigh.”

“I was worried that the bite had broke the skin and she would need to get it bandaged and possibly get a rabies shot. I told her that I would have to take a look at the bite to help her so, she takes off her duty belt and pulls her pants down to around her knees to expose the bite area. It didn’t look too bad but there were two spots where the dogs teeth had broke the skin. I told her I would bandage it up so she could make the 20 minute drive to the clinic. I was just about to bandage her leg when my wife walks through the door.”

“There I am with one of our female friends, standing in our kitchen, in her police officer uniform, pants down (she was wearing a thong), I was sitting so basically her ass was in my face, and my hands on her upper thigh/butt. We both had the deer in the headlight stare as we realized how bad this must have looked to my wife. We then both shouted out in unison “It was a dog bite!”.”

#13. “…it was a year before I went around for dinner.”

“I had recently started dating this girl. We had been together maybe 3 months, and I had yet to do the “meet the parents” thing. I had been putting it off as her Dad was this fearsome Scottish dude who was known for his temper.”

“Anyhow, at my 19th birthday party (as so many do at this age) things got out of control. It was supposed to be a garden party, but it got changed to a garage party when the weather let me down. It was slinging it down. As my parents didn’t want a mess, everyone was supposed to take off shoes when coming in the house for the toilet. As you can imagine, after everyone breaks the piss seal, few lads can be bothered with all that just for piss. So we are all going through my back gate and using the grass around the corner.”

“This also becomes the outdoor smoking spot, and the combined foot traffic in the rain does not take long to turn this into a quagmire of mud and piss.”

“My girlfriend takes a massive swig of vodka. Mistake. This is not staying down. She dashes outside to vomit. She hurls up everywhere in this mud then promptly falls over in it. She is so hammered she then rolls over onto her front to stand back up. She now looks like the swamp thing, and she is going downhill fast. She is under strict instructions to be home by midnight, and it is now 11pm and she can barely stand. This is a small town with no Taxi company, and the 1 mile walk across town with someone in this state is not happening.”

“As quite a lot of people are staying over, my first gambit was to ring her home and try to get her permission to stay over too. Of course it was her Dad who answered. That request went down like a shit sandwich and was given a very firm “NO!” from the Dad who then just hung up as the conversation was over. Shit.”

“So I have to ring back and sheepishly explain that she is too far gone to move under her own power. He will need to come and get her.

“FINE!” [Hangs up again]”

“It was then I knew I really fucked up. She was still in Swamp Thing mode and her dad would be here in no time. We had to clean her up. We had already gotten her out of her jumper. With her still throwing up in the toilet, I explained I was going to lend her some of my jeans. In my drunken brain this was an awesome plan. We just had to wait for her to stop being sick. This didn’t happen. Panic is rising.”
“This was more than a one person job. I then got her best friend to help her out of her jeans. I did not hear the Dad arrive as the front door was open from other people leaving. He just walked straight in. I guess someone directed him upstairs as he walks into the bathroom, just in time to see myself and Lucy peeling the jeans down over his daughter’s arse as she was still being sick in the toilet. Time stopped.

Had I asked anyone else to help I would probably be dead. It was a year before I went around for dinner.”

#14. She admonished me in front of the class…

“4th grade. All of the kids in my class had figured out that they could get up to sharpen their pencils whenever they wanted – a way to break-up the monotony I suppose. Several students abused this privilege and I didn’t want to be counted among the abusers, as Mrs. Spangler had become vocal about this.”

“During an assignment, my pencil was dull to the point that the wood was scratching on my paper. I decided to use my thumbnail to break the wood away from the tip and expose the graphite so that I didn’t have to sharpen it. As I was doing this, my teacher walked by and exclaimed, “You’re trying to break your pencil!” I didn’t have time to establish a defense before she admonished me in front of the class.

I still think about it sometimes… I’m 37.”

#15. “Are you a lesbian”

“During lunch at my school everyone would be in the lunchroom, it was a small school so pretty much everyone ate at the same time. A friend of mine and I would skip lunch and spend the time just running around the school doing whatever we wanted. One day we were playing like an extreme form of hide and seek all around the school and she ran into the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and stepped up on the toilet seat and peeked over the stall. I had planned on being like “ha! Got you!” But it wasn’t my friend in the stall. The girl assumed I was trying to be a pervert and went and told a teacher. I got the “are you a lesbian” talk from a very conservative teacher at a very country school and the girl went around telling everyone I was a weirdo and that I tried to watch her pee.”

#16. Church lady

“I was really tall in Jr High. One of my best friends at the time was pretty short, and we had a running joke where he would use a little kid voice whenever standing next to me, because I was so much taller.”

“So one day we’re playing tag around my church building (grew up in a conservative house) after most people had already left, and my buddy runs into the bathroom and locks himself in a stall. But I was taller than the wall of the stall, so I pressed up against it and looked down at him and said in my best creepy voice “You can’t hide from me!” and he used his little-kid voice to say “Oh no! Somebody please help!”

“Of course, one of the old church ladies was standing in the doorway behind us, watching the whole thing with horror. Turns out she was there to clean, and caught us at exactly the wrong time.”

#17. “Well, jump out the window…”

“Oh man. Back in my early 20s, Around mid-2000s when Jackass was all the craze i went to a house party. A girl there took a big liking to me and kept coming onto me pretty strong. I was in a relationship and kept turning her down. I went into the parents’ bedroom to take a call when she came into the room and tried to kiss me. I said no and she started to undress, I told my friend on the other end of the phone what was going on and he just said ‘well, jump out the window’”

“20 year old, drunk me thought this was a great idea, Just like CKY/ Jackass! So I opened the window and jumped out onto the grass below, Rolled and walked away unhurt, The next thing I know there is a dull thud and semi-Naked crazy chick was laying on the ground, She had jumped out after me, hit the earth below, slipped and fallen backwards hitting her head on the ground.”

“People inside the party heard the noise and came running out the door of the house to find me standing over a semi-conscious, half naked girl….”

#18. “No! Wait it’s a gun tool thing, I swear!”

“Years ago I was dating this girl, and I had just acquired a black powder gun. Now for those of you who don’t know, one of the parts on many of the black powder guns is called a nipple, and usually require a wrench to get off. Mine didn’t have this wrench so I punched in “Ruger nipple wrench” into Google and went downstairs to grab a drink.

When I come back into her room, she’s looking at my laptop, wide eyed and nervously says “Ummm, I don’t know if I would be into that…” Cue my reaction of “What? No! Wait it’s a gun tool thing I swear!”

#19. “Assault with a deadly wiener…”

“As a broke college kid, one of my go-to meals was a $0.69 chilli dog from 7-11, which was 4 blocks from my dorm. I had no car. One winter’s night, I bundled up in my heavy coat, gloves. and beanie and went to get myself one.”

“So I’m heading back, holding my foil-wrapped dinner, and decide to run (to get out of the cold faster.) Next thing I know, a cop car screeches to a halt in front of me, and I’m ordered to the ground. Spent the next couple minutes explaing to NJ PD why I’m running out of a convenience store, at night, in a “ski mask”, waving a shiny metal object.

TL/DR: Suspected assault with a deadly wiener.”

#20. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER.”

“My friend Anna was in her 20’s but she looked really young, easily as though she could be a minor. She had too much to drink at the bar so I started carrying her home on my shoulders as she was having a really hard time walking. As we got to her house I went to let her down and she fell off and smacked her head on the fence. She was wearing a skirt and as she fell it went up to her waist. I’m trying to get her to come-to so she can go in her house when an old lady walks out on her porch and starts screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT LITTLE GIRL, WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES.”

“I try to calmly explain that this is her house and I’m just a friend trying to get her home but she just keeps shouting, “WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER.” She won’t come to and I realize just how bad the situation looks, so I tell the old lady we can call an ambulance. As I tell my friend we are about to call an ambulance, she immediately comes to and fixes her skirt and stands up. The old lady says, “oh you were right, I guess she had clothes the whole time.”

#21. “That tickles my penis.”

“I babysit for extra income and took a four year old boy I was caring for to the park. I was pushing him on the swing and he pipes up, “That tickles my penis.” I have NO idea why – he’d been swinging for a good 15 minutes before announcing that and I’m not sure if he just shifted his weight in the swing, or that was the only way he knew to describe feeling butterflies in his stomach from the swinging motion, but I was legit worried he might tell his parents something like, “tweri12 tickled my penis on the swing”. I’m a woman – the fear would be magnified ten fold if I were a man.”

#22. “Daddy likes to come into my room naked…”

“When my daughter was around 3 years old, she casually told my wife that “Daddy likes to come into my room naked and play with me.” It took a minute to realize what she was talking about. A few weeks prior to that, she had woken up screaming. Bad dream, I’m guessing. I jump out of bed wearing nothing but boxer briefs to see what the problem was. To get her to stop crying, I tried to make her laugh. Luckily, my wife believed me.”

Yep. I just checked again, and I’m still lookin pretty good next to these fools.

Thanks again, reddit!

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15 People Reveal Which Popular Movie They Absolutely Hated

Have you ever seen a movie you completely hated, but you were all alone in your opinion? I’ll admit it: I’m not a fan of the Harry Potter series. I just can’t get into it at all.

Below are 15 movies that are so “universally” loved that the people who hate them are afraid to say so for fear of similar reprisal.

#1. A live action Fern Gully.

“Avatar.

It’s a live action Fern Gully.”

#2. Remnants continue to resurface.

“Frozen. Watched it once, thought “eh Disney” and 6 years later remnants of it still continue to surface”

#3. Just a love letter to musicals of the past.

“La La Land. It was just a love letter to musicals of the past. Well-done, but not groundbreaking or particularly memorable in and of itself. All of my friends who had never really seen musicals went crazy for it and I couldn’t stand hearing the songs from it played.”

#4. It should have been offensive.

“Ready Player One was horrendous and should have been offensive to anyone who’s ever played a video game, something which Spielberg has clearly never done.”

#5. Mind-numbingly boring.

“”Lincoln” was a mind-numbingly boring movie that’s “highlights” were Daniel Day-Lewis being Daniel Day-Lewis with a fake beard. I majored in Political Science (pro-tip: DON’T). I knew what was going on and the maneuverings that were happening and etc. Did not change the fact that it was an insanely boring movie.

#6. So bad it’s good.

“The Room is incredible because it tried so earnestly to be an excellent film and flopped spectacularly. Movies like Sharknado are boring (to me) because they try so hard to be quirky. Huge difference.”

#7. I secretly want the dinosaurs to win.

“Jurassic World. I don’t get how it became so popular. I secretly want the dinosaurs to win and eat all the main characters.”

#8. Considering divorce.

“My wife hates Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Wondering if I should be considering divorce.”

#9. Just a cool premise.

“Bird Box. It really seems like someone thought up the cool premise and then they tried to force a script into it. Although i gotta say, the scene with the parking sensors in the car was super cool.”

#10. Can’t watch it.

“Anything that’s “so bad that it’s good”.

I can’t watch that shit.”

#11. A reason to get Sandra Bullock in her skimpies.

“Fucking Gravity. I hated that movie. I work for an aerospace firm that makes stuff for the ISS. That movie felt like a reason to get Sandra Bullock in her skimpies. Space isn’t sexy. Space is full of a rats nest of cables and 30 year old equipment that’s miraculously being kept on life support by an extremely dedicated group of engineers.

That, and what the fuck was satellite debris doing in the same orbit as the ISS?”

#12. Immature and obnoxious.

“Sausage Party, all critics liked it because it had “meaning” but I thought it was an inmature and obnoxious experience.”

#13. The first three movies suck.

The Hunger Games is probably my favorite book series, but the first three movies suck. I didn’t watch the last one.

Edit: First Silver! Yay! 😀

Edit 2: I’m going to look for the Battle Royale books! :)”

#14. I’m not afraid.

“I’m not afraid to clearly state my opinion of anything

I don’t like any of the current crop of action movies”

#15. I don’t get what’s so romantic.

“The notebook. I don’t get what’s so romantic about a guy hanging on a ferris wheel to make you go on a date with him. That’s basically blackmailing.”

Just be honest – you just might find your tribe in the process!

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15 People Share Horror Stories About the Rudest Guest They’ve Ever Hosted

Houseguests are a mixed bag. Depending on who it is, the visit could be a lot of fun. But if they overstay their welcome or just generally act like a terrible guest, you may start longing for the day they get the hell out.

Good houseguests try to minimize their mess, offer to help out, and generally provide good company. Bad house guests are the people in these 15 stories.

1. So disrespectful

When I was in university, one of roommates asked if a high school friend of his from back home could come visit and stay in our apartment for a night or two. I agreed, but I was writing midterms and was stressed beyond belief so I firmly requested that they not party at our place so that I could get to sleep uninterrupted.

I came home from the library at 11pm and they were both shitfaced. My roommate was passed out in his bedroom, there was rank-smelling puke all over the toilet seat, and his friend had brought a girl home from the campus bar and was currently having sex in my bed. WTF.

I kicked his (and her) asses out of the apartment, and then ended up doing laundry at 11:30pm because my sheets were sweaty and covered in their fuck-juices.

I no longer speak with this roommate.

2. Three weeks of drama

We had two couples come to stay with us from overseas and one of the couples spent the entire time arguing and getting into massive fights. This included screaming, crying, slamming doors, sulking, the works. For three weeks. It was the longest three weeks of my life.

3. Who dyes their hair at someone else’s house?

My really close friend brought his now ex girlfriend that was super controlling over while me and a few other friends were hanging out, about thirty minutes in she decided that she is going to go into my super white bathroom and dye her hair black, not only this but if you’ve never dyed your hair before you must rinse your hair out to get excess dye out. She ended up staining my white counters, bath tub/ shower, floor, two decorative towels, my carpet outside the bathroom and my toilet. I was so irate and I don’t think she understood that you do not do this shit in someone else’s house without asking them. Literally everyone that was over including me told her to get her now just showered naked ass out of my house. I was so done because she just stained soooooo much shit that will not come out easy. It makes my blood boil thinking about it now.

4. Poor kiddo

I was babysitting my neighbours daughter. My neighbour was supposed to pick up the girl hours before and didn’t answer any of my messages prior. I got the living room ready just in case if she was gonna stay the night. It was close to midnight and he finally came to pick her up. The dad ranged the bell and when I answered the door he was sooo wasted. He barged in and walked past me to go to kitchen and everything that was in his grasp, he literally destroyed. He went to the fridge and drank juice straight from the carton. He then walked back to the living room where his daughter was, then was spewing random shit to her and mid sentence he vomited all over my couch and passed out after.

EDIT: For those of you asking;

Yes he did apologize and paid to clean the couch.

The daughter at that time just started first grade, so she was probably 6 or 7. She’s very smart, so she was aware of what was going on.

Did I call CPS? Yes. He turned out to be an alcoholic and it wasn’t the first time he has done this.

5. How not to handle an accident

My cousin and her daughter, who has down syndrome, were visiting and staying with me in my home. Her kid pooped in a quilt, and for some reason my cousin rolled it up and shoved it in the closet in the guest room without telling me.

I discovered it after they left (it was rolled up pretty good so I didn’t smell it immediately) because my dog stood in front of the closet and barked nonstop until I came and found it…She was so offended by it and didn’t stop barking until it was completely cleaned up, haha.

Edit: I called her and said, “I found the quilt from your bed rolled up with poop in the closet…what happened?” And she said, “Oh, daughter had an accident. Sorry!”

6. Why?

I let a guy I knew from college crash at my place for a few days when he was in town for a conference. Fed him, drank a bunch of liquor with him, etc. Thought I was being very hospitable. He had an early flight so on the last day he left before I woke up. Went into my bathroom and saw he had taken my bar of soap and written some stupid song lyrics all over my bathroom mirror. This was the master bathroom so it had two sinks and the mirror was like 8 ft by 4 ft at least. It was huge letters and there was more soap than mirror. Took me hours to get it clean. Like what the fuck dude.

7. I would just burn it

My boyfriend invited a couple dudes over while I was at work because we only have a 1 bedroom apartment and I don’t always enjoy sitting there watching them game. It was considerate. Anyways, he was asleep and they were gone when I got home since I work 3rd shift. I noticed my new bathroom mat was discolored and assumed it was from shoes and didn’t closely observe. Anyways, I made him look at it with me when he got up because I was a bit mad since it was brand new. Upon further observation, we came to the conclusion that before leaving, his friend wiped shit all over my new bathroom mat. It turned out to be brown finger streaks across the whole thing! Threw that out immediately. The toilet paper was readily available BTW… They are not allowed in the apartment anymore, and it was weird because they weren’t on bad terms they actually wanted to hang out again.

8. Who does that?

I had a collection of 1$ casino chips, one from every casino I had been to. A housemate invites some people over and a guy sees them sitting somewhere and starts playing with them. I figure the guy likes to fidget so it’s no big deal. Guy ended up taking a bunch a mismatched casino chips and even apparently tried buying a drink at the bar with them. Luckily one of the other guys he went out with got them back to me but seriously? Who does that?

9. True friends

Stole $100. But this story has a happy ending.

When I was young I had three friends over, all of them brothers. The oldest was my age, the middle was a couple years younger (same age as my brother), and they had brought their youngest brother with them. He was a little bitch.

Well that day my dad let me hang onto a $100 bill because I thought it was cool and had never seen one. I showed it off to my friends and left it on my side table. I didn’t even notice it go missing.

Well, here’s how the story goes. My friends had left, and when they got near their house, the youngest brother pulled out the $100 and said “hey guys, look what I took.” The two older brothers got pissed. They dragged him crying all the way back to my house, handed me the $100 that I hadn’t even realized was missing, and forced him to apologize. Friends of integrity right there.

10. At least there was no meth

I was going to post about the time I was really angered by friends of friends staying and emptying our bar fridge (it was fully stocked with beer), emptying the wine fridge (also stocked), and a random bottle of bailey’s (none of these things go together?!? Heathens) and not offering to replace any of it, while making themselves completely at home and even inviting guests over to view “their place.” But in reading these, I’m starting to feel much better that no meth was involved – maybe it’s time for me to let that grudge go.

11. So. Gross.

My grandfather’s cousin was staying with us a for a week; he has a bladder problem and would refuse to wear adult diapers! What followed was him leaving a trail of pee (sometimes poo), when he walked around the house… didn’t take too long for my mother to ask his son to take him back home.

12. Not for sitting

we had a party at our house. Guests ended up using the bathroom in our bedroom as well because of lines on the guest toilet. We have (had) one of those “only attached to the wall and no legs to support” sinks on top of a slim long shelf kinda thing. They sat on the damn thing and broke it. I was beyond belief how someone could sit on something that looks, feels and very obviously shows it is not made to carry weight and is not supported.

Now it has legs…

13. I hope they paid the plumbing bill

my 10-year-old distant cousin unwrapped 3 new bars of soap and flushed them down the toilet on the 3rd floor of my house. That night, we returned from dinner to find water dripping from the ceiling on the first floor—the third floor bathroom had flooded and the water leaked through the floor, dripped from the ceiling of the second floor, and leaked though to the ceiling of the first floor. the whole mess cost thousands of dollars to repair.

the kid confessed everything with great glee and his mother just thought it was the funniest thing.

14. It’s a simple request

I’ve made this post before so I’ll just copy paste it here:

Not my house but my car. I don’t have many rules for passengers when I’m driving but there are two I will never budge on.
1: Wear your seat belt.
2: Do not smoke in my car.

I had just bought a car, it wasn’t brand new but I knew the previous (and only) owner and I knew he was a car guy who took meticulous care of his cars inside and out. He wouldn’t even sell me the car before he had given the engine a proper service. Within a week of getting the car a friend asked for a lift to the train station, I knew he smoked so as we walked to the car I told him specifically to wait until we get to the station before he lights up (a 10 minute ride at most).

I back out of the parking spot, drive to the exit of the parking lot and as I check my left hand side for oncoming cars I hear from my right the distinctive sound of a lighter sparking up. Dude could not even fucking wait until we were out of the fucking car park before he just had to have his goddamn cigarette. I ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing and he just looks at me and says “Relax, it’s not like it’s a new car.” Fucker ended up walking to the train station.

15. Always clear the browser history

Oh i forgot this one! A friend of a relative stayed with my parents for a week, the guy was Argentinian, late 50s. He was very old fashioned, religious etc, for example, he even told my parents that it was wrong that i was living with my boyfriend without being married.

One day he asked my mum to use her PC “to check his email” was in there for quite a while, riiiight.. You guessed it, he was watching porn, but i guess he didn’t remember the website he wanted because he first googled in Spanish “young ladies with dark hair having sex” and a few variations of that. My mum found all that in her Internet history, called him out, he tried to blame my (then 16 year old) brother, who had his own PC, speaks mostly English (wouldn’t have googled in spanish) and was away in a camping trip

He wasn’t welcomed back.

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15 Baffling Unsolved Mysteries That Simply Defy Explanation

I’m the type of person who NEEDS answers to things. I absolutely hate leaving questions unanswered. I actually have to keep myself away from mystery documentaries, because I will start yelling at the TV. I just love a good mystery (possibly too much).

These AskReddit users feel the same way I do and they shared mysteries that are so confounding that they have no possible explanation.

What are some of your favorite true unsolved mysteries? Share them in the comments.

#1. A strange situation

“When I was 7 or 8, we had this neighbor who was a super nice old lady that would give us snacks and talk to us through her window. She was agoraphobic and never, ever, ever left the house. Her kids would come by every other day or so to check up on her and everyone in the neighborhood knew them. One day me and my friends were outside playing like always, when her son comes to bring her groceries like always.

He comes out and asks if we’ve talked to his mom and we say we havent seen her in a day or 2. That sweet little old lady vanished from her house. Apparently no trace of her. Family was around alot after that was obviously was freaking out. I moved away a few years later but they never found out what happened. It wasn’t till I was an adult that I realized how f*cked that whole situation was.”

#2. The stranger

“Kind of personal, and I’m a bit late, but here goes:

While visiting Rome a few years back, the group I was with decided to tour the Vatican. One of our friends had a friend who was a brother studying to be a Priest. He was going to get us past the tourist barriers for a closer look at everything while we participated in a small mass at one of the numerous altars.

When we met up with this fellow, he immediately struck me as someone that I had met before. Almost someone that I had a good friendship with, but couldn’t explain where or why I had known him. I didn’t mention anything, as I was too busy hiding the pocket knife that I’d accidentally left in by bag before trying to get into the basilica.

The tour was interesting and the mass was a unique experience, but the whole time this feeling like I knew the man was haunting me. He invited us out to a coffee shop afterwards, and I took the time to retrieve the pocketknife I hid under a trash can.

When I returned, there was a seat for me right in front of the brother. I sat down, apologized, and started to listen to the conversations. Yet as soon as this guy has the chance to talk to me directly, he says, “Have I met you before? I have this strange feeling that we know each other but I can’t place it.”

I was blown away. We both were. This was the first conversation we had, and we both believed we had know each other personally. But when he explained his life over back in America, I couldn’t think of any reasonable explanation as to where we met. And even if we did, the feeling was that of close friends, not of a “I shook hands with you once.”

#3. Utterly confused

“I have a personal mystery. When I got home from uni and before I found a job I had a period of time where I stayed at my family home. Due to being home alone often during this time I tended to be the one who collected the mail and did odd home jobs. One day we had a particularly large amount of letters and parcel (for my brother’s birthday) and because two trips are for weak people I struggled and carried them all into the house. I managed to throw the letters onto the table but about half slipped onto the floor (this is important).

Thinking screw it, I carry the box upstairs to the office and come back down to pick the letters up. Yet, when I come back into the kitchen there are no letters anywhere. Confused, I check every downstairs table and eventually the mail box. Nothing at all. Finally I go back into the kitchen and notice one of the kitchen chairs is slightly pulled out from under the table. I pull it all the way out and under the cushion on the seat is a neat pile of the letters. There was no one but me at home for a few hours before this. Utterly confused till this day.”

#4. Wizardry

“I once did a magic trick in front of 20 people as a teenager. We had orchestrated it, so there were 2 of us.

So the trick is, I ask someone from the audience to pick a card, hold it above their head in front of the crowd, but card back facing me, so the entire crowd sees the card. Now someone on the other side of the window behind the crowd also sees the card, and with the crowd facing forwards, they don’t see him. So he plasters the card from another deck, on the window, and when he’s done doing that, I throw the entire deck at the window, and lo and behold, their card is now stuck on the other side of the window.

What happened surprised not only the crowd, but myself and my co-magician as well.

I throw the deck and the EXACT card is not only plastered on the other side of the window, it is also stuck on OUR side of the window, right next to it. My mind was blown and I still can’t explain it to this day. We played it as a part of the trick, so nobody in that crowd knows what sort of black wizardry went down that day.”

#5. A personal mystery

“Personal mystery: 20+ years ago I had a very brief job selling gas services door to door (side note, I’m not good at selling things, especially those I don’t truly believe in). Anyway, as dusk just started to arrive, near 5 pm, I knocked on a door and an old woman answers. I gave her my standard “ we can save you $$ by switching to xxx gas, my we look over your latest bills and our offerings to compare?” She tells me “I’m sorry, honey, I don’t live here, this is my son’s house, let me get him for you” and I politely accept.

After maybe 5-7 10 of waiting, I think maybe they’d forgotten me or were trying to blow me off so I have one last knock and this time a younger man, mid-40’s I’d guess, answers and asks if he can help me. I give him the same sales speech and he stops me midway and says “now is not a good time, we just buried my mother today”. I’m apologized and quickly backed away. I tell myself it was a nice way to mess with the door to door guy but I really don’t know to this day.”

#6. That is strange

“Two days before the space shuttle Challenger blew up I dreamt I was at the launch. The shuttle took off and caught the gantry. It started to veer off and I could hear the occupants screaming. Two days later I was having s home haircut and my daughter came in to tell me the news on the tv. It sent shivers down my spine. Of course it was coincidence but very creepy.

The strangest thing was that I wouldn’t have attended the launch – I live in UK and such a visit was unthinkable.”

#7. No idea how that happened…

“When I was in high school, my aunt gave me a t-shirt for my birthday. It was kind of sparkly and not something I ever would buy for myself, but I sometimes wore it. One day I realized I had two of this shirt in my closet. No idea how that happened. I could never think of a good explanation, although there must be one… Still seems strange.”

#8. A true mystery

“I was late for an appointment one day and was speeding up a hill with a big curve to the right, the direction I was going. Almost as soon as I got around the curve I saw there was an accident in front of me, blocking both lanes on my side. (Since there were only one or two other cars stuck behind it it must’ve just happened, because there were no emergency vehicles there yet.)

To the right of me was a sidewalk where people were standing gawking, and to my left was oncoming traffic in the other two lanes, so I couldn’t go around it, and I was going too fast to be able to stop in time. I knew if I relaxed I was less likely to be as severely injured, so I quickly shut my eyes and relaxed as much as I could.

And absolutely nothing happened.

When I opened my eyes, I could see the crash behind me in my rear view mirror and I was continuing along an empty (on my side) road.

This happened about 35 years ago, and to this day I have no idea how that happened.”

#9. Never figured it out

“When I still lived at home and came back from a night out my mother would often be up reading & if I wasn’t too tired I’d sit with her a bit and chat before going to bed. This was regular occurrence for years.

A couple years after I moved out I get a text from my mom one Sunday morning asking where I’d gone.

Was a little surprised as I was just in my apartment.

She tells me that last night I came home late and we chatted for a bit and she was surprised that I had left the house so early in the morning.

Now occasionally, I would still stop by my parents place to crash for the night depending on where I was in the city but I’d always let them know first.

Figured my mom has just dreamt this. So I call her and explain that I wasn’t there & ask what we talked about.

She summarizes the conversation and gives me details about things she shouldn’t have known about my night out eg. What was going on in the lives of the friends I had seen that night.

Never figured it out but now my mom teases and says she knows what I’m up to all the time.”

#10. They never turned up

“We lived in a bi-level house with a chest freezer in the basement and the kitchen on the second floor.

When I was younger I was a teenager I was asked to bring tatertots upstairs so my mom could make a casserole. I went and grabbed them and came upstairs.

When I got upstairs the tater-tots were no longer in my hands, and my mom asked where they were, I thought I had just spaced out and forgot them. So I went back downstairs and they weren’t in the freezer anymore. Searched literally every square inch/nook and cranny between the chest freezer and the kitchen and they were not anywhere.

They never ever turned up. To this day my mom thinks I was playing a dumb prank on her. My most plausible explanation is that we live in a computer simulation and they got accidentally glitched out of it.”

#11. The watch

“I bought my husband a watch for his 30th birthday engraved with his name. Not long after he lost it somewhere in the house. We searched everywhere for it but it couldn’t be found. Fast forward 13 years and my husband has a heart attack and dies instantly.

Two weeks later our 2 yo son walks out of the bathroom holding his watch. There are no cupboards in there- just a shower and bath. He’s very excited to have it and to this day, I have no idea where he got it from.”

#12. The ring

“Lost my class ring when I was 20. About 8-10 months later I move 1000 miles away. Only brought a few clothes and my car. Someone hit me and totaled my car while there…twice, be careful driving in Florida. Bought a new car (twice). Lived there for a year. Then moved about 200 miles away. A month after moving to the new town I receive a call from a church. They received a donation of clothes. While sorting them out they found a class ring with my name etched inside the band. My new home number came up when they searched my name. The church was about two miles from where we just moved.

My wife didn’t get rid or donate any clothes. I thought it must be a mistake, but decided to go take a look. Sure enough, it was mine. I looked through the clothes they found it in and they weren’t mine or my wife’s. Still no idea how it could have ended up 1,100 miles from where I lost it.”

#13. No glass…anywhere

“A little late but this story still makes me sleep with the lights on whenever I think of it. My sister and I were upstairs at my grandparents house where we lived. We were playing some Disney princess game on our TV. All of a sudden we hear a loud piece off glass shatter. It seriously sounded like someone dropped a chandelier.

My uncle who was visiting at the time came sprinting up the stairs because he thought we were being assaulted. He checked in the next room that the sound came from and nothing had fallen. There were no glass shards anywhere. Kinda creeped him out as well.”

#14. That is creepy

“Personal story and a something that still bothers me till this day.
I’m a soccer/football coach of kids (great way to earn money when you’re a student) and each year we have a couple of ‘open’ practices where parents bring their kids to see if they like soccer etc. After one of these practices a kid walks up to me and says ‘I’m sorry that you lost your grandma’. I was a bit confused and I said ‘Ooh no, you must think of someone else’ and I just shrugged it of.

The next day I woke up for school and my parents told me my grandma died in her sleep and that her nurse found her in bed that morning.

The kid might have mistaken me for someone else but it still bugs me. Also; he never showed up at practice again.”

#15. We thought so

“I was in NYC near Grand Central Station, and a pair of Hasidic Jews came up to my wife and me and pointedly asked me whether my last name was “Igor”. I said uh, yeah? They said “we thought so.” and walked away. I still have no idea what the context was nor how they knew my last name among a busy commuting crowd.”

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