Hilarious Fails People Were Brave Enough to Share

Do you know what’s totally hilarious? People failing.

You know what’s even better? When people fail AND share those fails with the world.

It takes a big person to bring out the worst in people, and make it their best… but that’s what we have in these 12 posts, AND WE ARE HERE FOR IT!

Let’s take a look!

1. Alright, who planted a bomb in the paint?

I mean… I have sooooooo many questions about this. Where to begin?!?

Gonna be a long day.. from Wellthatsucks

2. That stupid thing when you forget you’re melting your lappy.

“Oh dang… that’s hot.”

My dad says, “Google is doing this stupid thing where the blur the top left part of the results. Facebook is doing it too actually.” He melted the top left corner of his screen. from Wellthatsucks

3. I mean… would anybody take this job for $25?

More like $100 to get that unf**ked!

Image Credit: Facebook

4. Hey, at least she found them!

That’s a plus, right?

Facebook

5. My guess is the applesauce is on the right.

What do you think?

One of these is applesauce. One of these is grease from a deep fryer. Guess which one I ate a spoonful of a few minutes ago from RuinedMyDay

6. When you hear your iPhone ringing, but you can’t figure out where it is.

Anybody ever look OUTSIDE of the car? Ha!

Image Credit: Facebook/IDK

7. I hear that’s good luck!

Just don’t drink that lucky drink… #truth

Walking to my first job this morning with a fresh cup of coffee. That’s not cream, it’s a crow shit hole in one. from Wellthatsucks

8. An important distinction in 2020.

“Why are my hands are sticky?!”

Image Credit: Know Your Meme

9. I’ll give you ONE guess.

Or… I’ll give you 630 guesses.

10. Wow… somebody wasn’t paying attention.

Or maybe… they were getting revenge!

11. I didn’t even realize they melted!

Did you know they melted?!

12. I mean… this might be somebody’s DREAM, right?

Extra pepper? More like ALL the pepper!

My pepper grinder broke this morning. from Wellthatsucks

There you have it! All the hilarious fails you can handle, and for the low, low price of completely free.

What a deal, right?

Alright, we want to hear from you. Which one of these made you laugh the most? Let us know in the comments!

The post Hilarious Fails People Were Brave Enough to Share appeared first on UberFacts.

Fails That Are Among the Best Things About 2020

Welp, THAT year has come and gone and we’re now left to celebrate ALL of the fails that happened during THAT year that… which will never be mentioned again.

Seriously… don’t even think about the year that was between 2019 and 2021. It’s not worth it. You’ll just make yourself angry. In fact, I’m angry just thinking about you possibly thinking about it. And how silly is that?

No, let’s instead look back on some silly, hilarious fails and move past it all… quickly and efficiently.

Let’s go!

1. Oh yes… I wanted the drill bit FOR GIANTS!

And he got it!

When you order the wrong size from facepalm

2. Wow… somebody wasn’t paying attention.

Or maybe… they were getting revenge!

3. I mean, that’s only if you don’t like your coffee garlicky AF

Me, I love garlic coffee. So…

Image Credit: Tumblr

4. That second line…

… is the best and most cringey thing you’ll ever read.

5. Mmmmmmmmmm, just like mom never used to make.

It’ll only take EIGHT MORE HOURS!!

When you come home and your house doesn’t smell like pot roast (r.slowcooking) from Wellthatsucks

6. Well… isn’t that some s**t!

“I can’t believe you’ve betrayed me like this, Roomba!”

7. I didn’t even realize they melted!

Did you know they melted?!

8. Okay, now that’s rough AF.

Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

It was 0530, I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry from Wellthatsucks

9. People are going to have some VERY sticky hands.

Sticky… but delicious!

Image Credit: Know Your Meme

10. Wait… you don’t know your project partner’s name?

Hahaha… classic!

11. I’ll give you ONE guess.

Or… I’ll give you 630 guesses.

Alright, did we get all of that out our system? Laughed at some fails and now we can move on into the future with nary a mention of the year that never was?

Good! I’m glad we can agree.

But first, I want to hear from you! Which of these fails tickled your funny bone in JUST the right way?

Let us know in the comments!

The post Fails That Are Among the Best Things About 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Oddly Specific Rules They’ve Run Into Because of Somebody’s Stupid Mistake

Have you ever have one of those jobs that you don’t really like and they’ve got a bunch of strange rules that you’re not even sure how they came up with them?

Yeah, pretty much all of us have.

I remember one job I had people weren’t allowed to go out on a perfectly nice patio to eat lunch. The reason? Because somebody tried to do a handstand on the railing and fell over and killed themselves.

Yeah. I mean, I feel for that guy and his family… but that was a nice patio and those would have been some nice lunches (PS… I did it anyway).

Let’s take a look at some people who ran into similar situations!

1. The things we do for love!

In rehab our cottons swabs were taken away because a guy decided to jam one into his eardrum to get sent to the hospital and get painkillers.

Every seemingly dumb rule we had in there had a backstory to it.

2. Prisoners are so ingenous!

Used to work in a prison, and they had to ban Marmite spread, because the inmates used the yeast to ferment alcohol.

And Kit Kats, because they used the foil wrappers for heroin.

3. Students are sneaky AF

My Professor had a system where he said “Homework Due by 12:00.”. I turned it in about ten minutes early…then realized I’d made a mistake, so I fixed it and uploaded the new one, which hit at 12:00:23 or so.

The next day he talked about how various people knew that if they opened the submission page, they could submit their homework after the deadline because the system only stopped you from accessing the page at the given time. He told us that such homework was going to be given a zero despite being submitted.

He then said “There was one submission however that was submitted at 23 seconds past midnight…I will allow this one as I had not specified to the second that the homework had to be submitted. Henceforth, all homework MUST be submitted by 12:00:00.” and gave me a smirk.

I just gave him a cringy little salute and we had a chuckle.

4. Well, these people are no fun!

“Absolutely no roller skates in the lab”

My husband worked for a private lab startup and half the women there did roller derby. The lab was (as many are) a repurposed warehouse with nice smooth concrete floors. One of the women thought it would be fun to skate between machines. She got a lot done but the boss figured osha wouldn’t be too thrilled so the sign went up a few days later.

You could still wear your skates in the break room.

5. Taking snacking seriously

On an AirFrance flight from Morocco to Mauritania, the flight attendant gave the safety brief in French at first. My french is not good but my ears pricked up when I heard the words “feu de camp.” I obviously discounted my translation as misunderstanding the brief until she went into the brief in English.

We were given the standard safety brief on all aircraft, but at the end we were specifically reminded that there are to be no cooking or camp fires lit on the plane at any time.

Can you imagine your seat mate getting hungry and deciding to start a fire on an airplane to cook up some snacks?!?!?

6. Now THAT is a specific rule!

My father’s hometown, Marion, Ohio, had a rule that you couldn’t eat a donut while walking backwards.

If I remember correctly, it had something to do with attracting police horses to lure them away from the police.

Cops are weird.

7. Count on Walmart for the sage wisdom.

“Do not put 14 rolls of toilet paper in the toilet”

– Walmart 2019

8. THE HORROR!!!

In my lease, I had a clause to properly dispose of my used tampons.

I asked why and apparently my landlord had a tenant that caused $50,000 of damage because she threw her used tampons into the cabinet under the sink. She rented the apartment for years and there were 3+ years worth of used, bloody tampons in there.

The, uh, blood caused a bunch of damage akin to water damage to the bathroom. The floor under the cabinet was rotted through. From bloody tampon storage.

The thought of a steamy, gelatinous glob of blood gooping through the sh**ty linoleum and blooming a bloody Clicker from The Last of Us makes me want to actively die.

9. Trash panda circus!

At my last job, we had a sign on the back door that said “you must walk trash all the way to the dumpster; DO NOT TRAIN THE RACCOONS!!!”

The story behind that is the facility I worked at does dog daycare and training, and Darcy the Human (not to be confused with Darcy the Poodle) didn’t like having to walk all the way across the parking lot at the end of the night to take out the trash, and trained about three raccoons to drag the bags to the dumpster because he couldn’t be bothered to walk 50ft to it.

He got away with it for about a year, and even named them. The manager only found out when she opened the back door to throw out some boxes and saw a bunch of raccoons immediately run up and cart them off.

10. A spite rule!

The ten-bin bowling alley in Geelong implemented a “Patrons must not play blindfolded” rule.

The manager claims it was for safety reasons… but I will always know in my heart it was solely because I beat him three games in a row wearing a blindfold.

Geelong is an awesome city on the bottom of the Australian mainland. Lived there 18 years. Sadly, the bowling alley was demolished around 2001.

11. This had to be a rule?

My all time favorite, in the Taco Bell i frequented as a teenager:

“Please do not spit on the managers.”

It wasn’t even a f**king paper, it was a plaque, someone got spit on enough times to go out and pay for a plaque.

12. These employees were outlaws!

I worked for a company that would send us out of town and put us up in hotels for weeks.

We had per diem for food but they told us we could absolutely not use it on alcohol.

Found out the company use to have an open bar at the hotel for employees until some former employees got so drunk they hired prostitutes and ended up doing cocaine and were kicked out of the hotel and arrested.

13. A reasonable set of rules!

Wish I had a picture but in EVERY restroom stall at my work there is a sign that says

THREE COURTESY FLUSH Flush once to prepare for elimination Flush between “the go” and the paper Flush upon completion

Wonder who put that together in their head and said “I have a solution.. hear me out guys”.

14. You’d think this would be obvious?

Back in the 90s, I used to work in a convenience store in New Jersey. Once a year I’d have to go to the health department and get certified as a food handler.

It is in this capacity that I learned that there is a law on the books in the state of New Jersey that you cannot store food under a leaking sewage pipe.

You just know health inspector went into a store and said “what the hell?! You can’t store food under leaking sewer pipe!”

And the store owner said “cite the statute!”

15. LOCKOUT

There was this one residence hall on campus where we had to inform students on move-in day not to twist their apartment room key a certain way into their bathroom door otherwise they could possibly get locked in if closed.

They were encouraged just to use the inner lock bolt body system. Students got charged $5, after one free pass, if a staff member got a call and had to rescue them from trapping themselves in their own bathroom.

Working in that hall for two years, I rescued students 7 times and 4 of those times it was the same girl.

Jeez… that last one sounds like quite the fire hazard, right? Hope they got it all sorted out.

Okay, which one of these rules did you find the strangest?

Let us know in the comments!

Thanks, fam!

The post People Share the Oddly Specific Rules They’ve Run Into Because of Somebody’s Stupid Mistake appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About When They Regretted a Decision Immediately

Have you ever done something and then immediately thought, “Oh no… oh god no… oh good glory Jesus NOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Yeah, me too. And that’s why we’re here today… to commiserate about those times that people did something, regretted it… but not enough to prevent them from sharing it on the internets!

Let’s take a look and some of these hilarious buffoons!

Like this guy who didn’t even know his projects partner’s name…

Bruh… just turn it in.

Or this person who says you can’t dry plates in the dryer.

Well, they are technically IN there, and they look dry, so…

Image Credit: Facebook

What happens when you forget that plastic and heat don’t mix?

Something which is honestly, pretty amazing. I mean, look at that!

I think the breads warm from Wellthatsucks

When you’re a dad and you think you’re sneaky…

But you don’t tell the wife what’s up.

Can’t you just put that on your nose?

No, that’s not how it works? Ack!

Drove 45 mins to the store thinking I had my mask in my pocket. It was a baby sock. from Wellthatsucks

Roomba! You betrayed me!!!

You don’t know s**t, you know that!?

Didn’t he technically do his job.

He “un” locked the door. Get it? Yeah you do…

I was the one in charge of unlocking the building today. This will be a fun conversation… from Wellthatsucks

Cats just do what they want.

And that’s why I hate cats. Sorry mittens!

Turned my back for a minute and she peed in 20 cups of uncooked rice… from Wellthatsucks

I’m sorry… these are AMAZING friends

Talk about the best prank ever! That means your friends LOVE you. Duh!

Image Credit: The Poke

Folks, I’m fully in love with a lot of these fails. They’re so achingly human and hilarious, and they really made my day.

What about you? Which of these made you sit up and do a spit take?

Let us know in the comments!

The post People Talk About When They Regretted a Decision Immediately appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes That Are Randomly Entertaining and Endlessly Hilarious

You know what you need today? Memes.

You know what you need tomorrow? More memes.

What I’m saying here is that if we just had more memes in the world, we probably would solve all of our problems.

Right?

RIGHT!?!?!

Okay, maybe that’s a bit overblown, but we’re here for these 16 memes, and apparently you are too!

Let’s go!

1. Hahah… anything you say honey!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

2. Y’all laughing yet?

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

3. Arrrrrrrr you getting it?

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

4. I can f**k with this

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

5. Ohhhh, we’ve all been there!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

6. All around me…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

7. Tommy did it? Of course!!!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

8. Not exactly what you were expecting, eh Kylie?!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

9. I bet she didn’t know what OR what to know that

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

10. Now that is an autocorrect fail for the ages!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

11. Basically, me all day. No regrets!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

12. Oh well. I didn’t like them anyway.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

13. So… what is that exactly??

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

14. Do you relate? Well, do you?!?!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

15. Imagine if lions ACTUALLY had a 36 foot vertical…. O_O

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

16. Thanks everybody for caring, but I’m good.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

And there ya have it! All the random memes you needed today, and none of the fat! That’s how we like to serve our memes up around here… lean and mean.

Got any tasty memes you want to share with us? Do it in the comments, fam!

Please and thank you!

The post Memes That Are Randomly Entertaining and Endlessly Hilarious appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes That Might Make Your Day a Bit Brighter

It’s you treated yourself to some “me” time.

Yes friends, it’s time to just let it all go and allow the memes to overtake your soul. Bathe in the comedy, the splendor, of people with way too much time on their hands putting random text on pictures that they don’t own to make you randomly laugh whenever they might get to you.

If you think about it, when somebody creates a meme, they’re creating a laugh. And who knows how long it takes to get to you. But when it does… they’ve given you their laugh.

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m SUPER high right now and that last sentence makes me want to hug everybody, so we better get into this before I forget to put this post together.

(PS – I’m high on life, not dogs.)

(PPS – Drugs, not dogs.)

(PPS – No, not drugs over dogs. Okay, I’ll stop!)

15. Chrissy, the girls are good

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

14. Furry AF

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

13. Wait….what?!?

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

12. This is a very good meme

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

11. Wales Tales

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

10. Oh… that’s rough

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

9. I don’t think he meant this…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

8. Hey, do what you love

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

7. Terrifying!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

6. And it’s going even higher!!!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

5. Because reasons!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

4. I like and approve of this meme

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

3. LaSAGNAsty!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

2. That second one because it’s HEAVY AF

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

1. I like this revision a lot

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

So then, what do you think? Are you happy with these 15 smiles that you just got?

Somebody spent untold hours putting those together and now you found them. Happy day!

Share some memes with us and we’ll love you forever.

Peace!

The post Memes That Might Make Your Day a Bit Brighter appeared first on UberFacts.

Fine Memes That Will Make a Good Addition to Your Collection

I wasn’t very good with the trading card fads as a kid. I couldn’t get into them, I didn’t have the money to spend on them, and I never really got that sense for how to tell a rare, valuable card from a run of the mill boring one.

Meme collecting, though? I’m all over that. It probably helps that I don’t have to drive to the drug store and spend ten bucks on a meme pack in the hopes it contains at least one that I don’t already have. Memes are much simpler to acquire. And I don’t mind sharing the wealth, as many have before me. Here. Enjoy some medium-rare memes.

10. *sniff* he had the high ground

9. Crazy how nature do that

8. Stealth mode activated

7. Exit through the gift shop

6. What a twist!

5. I’m going places

4. Boom boom over zoom

3. Too hot to handle

2. I just need some space

1. You’re older vs I’m older

I wouldn’t trade my meme collection for all the golden Charizards or whatever in the world.

What’s your favorite meme?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Fine Memes That Will Make a Good Addition to Your Collection appeared first on UberFacts.

These Epic Portraits Prove Cats Are Man’s True Best Friend

Do you have cats?

Are you a little…different?

Yes? Then these people are your people. In fact, they’re so strange they’ve actually created some of the most epically adorable cat/human portraits in existence.

I’m not kitten you, these pictures are something you need to check out right meow.

1. Whatever he’s selling, I’m buying.

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

2. Nobody understands their love.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

3. Day 2,379. The human still won’t let us out of his tanned, Texas grip.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

4. That hair! Those eyes! That twisted, awful smile! Totes feeling their vibe.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

5. You WISH you loved something this much.

Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday

6. That IS technically a cat.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

7. He makes me tiny hats because I demand it.

Photo Credit: Awkward Family Photos

People Share the Dark Secrets in Their Families

There are some crazy families out there, and then there are THESE families.

When people ask questions on AskReddit, you know you’re going to get some juicy tidbits, but I don’t think you’re prepared for exactly how juicy it’s gonna get!

Ready? Set? Share!

1. An On-Purpose Accident

“My uncle was pissed at my dad once, and decided to poke holes in all of his condoms. He was dating my mother at the time, and that is how I came about. I wasn’t supposed to know, but my uncle told me once when he was drunk. I am thankful he did it, but that was a pretty douche move.”

2. “Not table conversation”

“We had a family Christmas dinner a few years ago where my aunt and uncles from both sides were staying over at our house. There were probably 10 or 11 of us at the dinner table, and everyone is getting along well like we always do. My cousin, around 14 or 15 at the time, brings up something about how he laid a massive poop earlier that day. The kids laugh and the adults were like ‘that’s not table conversation.’ Then I jump in and say ‘haha yea, there’s things we don’t talk at the dinner table, like politics and illegitimate children.’ Every adult at the table drops their eyes to their plate and goes silent. I’m sitting there like uhhhh, what in the Woody Allen movie is so awkward about all this .

What I didn’t know is that my uncle had an illegitimate child many years ago and thats always been a point of contention between my aunt and him. They also had been arguing about that earlier in the day, and all the adults knew it. Hahah man, that was jokes. But seriously though, never make jokes about illegitimate children unless you are absolutely sure no one has one.”

3. Family Tree

“I recently learned that my mother is the child of an affair. And that my grandfather was illegitimate royal blood from Russia.”

4. “Pet name”

“My family is mostly Portuguese. It used to be completely so, but my paternal grandfather married a French woman. All my life my grandfather called her something in Portuguese that I couldn’t understand. Last year at Thanksgiving I found out it meant ‘The French Whore.’ My grandfather’s parents hated her and called her that. My grandfather decided to own it and made it a pet name.”

5. Piano

“I found out that my mom had an affair with my piano teacher. Not sure that my dad even knows…”

6. “Haunted her till the day she died”

“I am named after my great aunt. I was told by my mother and my grandmother that she died a few years before I was born in a terrible motorcycle accident. I was also told never to bring up my great aunt’s name around my great grandmother as the loss of her daughter still troubled her. Understandable. Nothing was ever mentioned or said and I grew up understanding only the barest of details about her and her passing. A little odd to not know much about the person I was named after, but, whatever.

When I was 24, my great grandmother passed away. At the meal after her wake, my great uncle gets drunk and starts letting all the family secrets fly out.

In passing, he mentioned my great aunt’s suicide and everyone at the table solemnly nodded their heads, except for me. ‘What suicide?’ I asked, ‘Gran told me she died in a motorcycle accident.’

‘Yeah, that was the cover story,’ he replied, ‘Your great grandmother was too embarrassed to tell anyone what really happened and she had to explain the closed-casket at her daughter’s funeral.’

I came to find out my great aunt was a lesbian and in love with a woman from her university. The other woman felt the same way and they hatched plans to figure out a way to be together without their parents knowing. When my great grandmother discovered their plans, she went mental and sent my great aunt half way across the country to separate the two. Little did she know that both women had made a suicide pact that if this were to happen, they would shoot themselves in the head, which they did. My great grandmother, in her homophobia, caused two young women, in love, to kill themselves.Apparently she never forgave herself for what she did and it haunted her till the day she died.

After I found out the truth, I was first incredulous that my entire family had lied to me about the origin of my name, and second, I was deeply disturbed that to ease my great grandmother’s guilt and shame everyone accepted the lie.

Since then, I tell as many people the truth as are willing to listen so that my great aunt’s memory is served. Which is why I am posting this here. Every year since I found out, I have attended Pride. I donate to LGBT charities. I volunteer for LGBT organizations. All in her memory. If certain resources and volunteer organizations existed then as they do now, I might have a totally awesome, motorcycle-riding, great aunt to hang out with.”

7. Cross-Country Move

“The only reason my family is in California instead of New York is because my dad’s father wanted to follow his mistress (which nobody knew about until he died) to California, so he uprooted his entire family and made them move over here.”

8. Hungarian is a weird language

“All this time my family thought that my weird Hungarian last name meant ‘boat builder.’

Well, recently we were enlightened to learn that the closest meaning is actually ‘man who goes around the village at night and picks up the poop buckets from doorsteps.’

9. “Dad doesn’t know”

“My dad doesn’t know that I know that I have two younger brothers and a sister.

I’m also trying to look for them.”

10. Mental Institution

“My grandfather had a younger brother who was mentally disabled.

He pretty much took care of this brother completely until he was about 18, when he left for college. He came back and the brother had been put in a mental institution for months/years. No one had told my grandfather.

My mother only recently found out about him.”

11. Passing

“My dad recently told me a family story of one of his older, distant relatives; we’ll call her Jill. This all happened some 70 years ago, a good 20 years before my father was born. It’s a bit unclear what actually happened, but I’ll try my best to piece it together.

Jill was a ‘plain’ looking girl who was raised on a small, country farm. Being a bit of a quiet tomboy, she didn’t go to school, but took care of the farm’s horses instead.

One day in her teenage years, Jill was in the stables when something spooked one of the horses. It reared up and kicked Jill in the face. Since there was very limited medical surgery, she ended up somewhat disfigured and scarred. She withdrew from much of society and lived solely on the farm as a hermit.

Years of isolation pass and one day, Jill vanishes.

Perhaps her immediate family knew, but no extended family were ever told what happened. That is it, until they were notified of her death four years later. You see it turns out, Jill had run away and enlisted in the army. She had fought overseas in WWII, and had been killed.

Now that might not seem like much of a story, but keep in mind that only men fought in WWII. Jill had somehow managed to pose as a man for four years in the army without being detected, and it was her death that gave her away.

Considering the rest of my family history isn’t very exciting, I think it’s a pretty cool story.”

12. “And they all came to visit”

“So my grandfather is roughly 80 and has five kids (one of which is my father) all ranging from ages 40-50. Well about three years ago, he had a knock on the door, and it turns out that he had a family before he met my grandmother in Iowa and never told anyone.

He had married his first wife in California when he was sent out there in the Navy, and had two or three kids with her. He went and got himself deployed, and she apparently left with the kids while he was gone. Being the mid 1900s, he never found them, so he went on a cross country trip to New York for some reason. Luckily for me, he met my grandmother and had five kids, never telling anyone about his former life. From what we understood he graduated school, went into the Navy after working on some farm for a couple years, and tried to go to New York before getting snagged by my grandma in Iowa.

Well while he was doing this, apparently wife #1 was moving around the country as well, and every couple years, put those kids in adoption, busted them out of adoption, had three more kids from three different dads, but kept my grandpas same last name. So one of the original first kids went on a mission to find my grandpa, found him, and they all came to visit.”

13. Film Hobby

An ex of mine was telling me that her father made films as a hobby of sorts and he actually had some success on the indie horror cult classic scene.

So one day I was bored and decided to Google his name and found a bunch of his films. In most of them, the main character was my ex’s mother and she had at least one full frontal nudity scene in each.

She was pretty attractive and I’m open-minded about nudity anyways, but I have to say I felt a little weird when I watched one of the sex scenes between the mother and the father.

I couldn’t look her in the eyes after that point.

14. “It was looked down upon”

“This happened in May of this year. I have a sister who is four years older than me and a half-brother who is 14 years older than me (from a different father).

My aunt, my mom’s sister, sent out an email to the entire family that vented about 60 years of hatred toward my mother. Right at the end of the email, my aunt clearly indicated that my mom had another kid that no one knew about and had given the kid up for adoption. Huge news to my family who knew nothing about this.

I asked my mom about this and found out that the father of the kid was my brother’s dad, but my mom and him weren’t married when this happened 45~ years ago, so it was looked down upon by others. My mom eventually married my brother’s father and had him, but that was a few years later. After they got a divorce, she got married to my dad about 8 years later.”

15. “Horse people”

“I found out that one of my ancestors was exiled from Russia for challenging an army officer to a duel (with swords) and winning. My ancestor worked in the czar’s stable, and the argument arose when the army officer insisted on riding my ancestor’s horse. The horse threw him off and the army officer shot it.

We’ve always been horse people.”

Oh my… that last one… what would you think if you saw somebody nude and they didn’t know you saw them? I’m guessing that the woman wouldn’t care AT ALL because she made her living doing it.

But we want to know what you think? Let us know in the comments, fam!

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12 Mindbenders That Might Just Mess With Your Sense of Reality

The simple definition of a paradox is this: a statement that contradicts itself or a situation which seems to defy logic.

These are all around us every day, and range from something mundane like saying “I always lie” and the complexities surrounding the idea of time travel.

If you’re into reading things that really bend your brain, I present these 12 paradoxes, designed to do just that.

12. When did it cease to be?

The Ship of Theseus always kind of fucked me. So, there’s this Greek dude called Theseus, and he’s on a very long boat trip home. His ship needs repair, they stop, replace a few rotten boards, and continue. Due to the particularily strenuous nature of this very long trip, several more of these stops for repairs are made, until, by the very end, not a single board from the original vessel remains.

Is this still the same vessel? If not, when did it cease to be?

11. Simple but not.

Pinocchio says “My nose will grow after I finish this sentence”

Does it?

10. The more traffic, the more traffic. Or something.

Braess’ paradox.

From wiki “the observation that adding one or more roads to a road network can end up impeding overall traffic flow through it. The paradox was postulated in 1968 by German mathematician Dietrich Braess, who noticed that adding a road to a particular congested road traffic network would increase overall journey time.”

9. Just stop it, people.

That “this page is intentionally left blank” page.

The page isn’t even blank anymore!

8. Triple make you crazy.

The UK ‘triple lock’ that people moving to the UK experience:

Need proof of address and photographic ID to open a bank account

Need a bank account and photographic ID to rent a place

Need a bank account and an address to get sent your photographic ID

7. The Legend of Zelda.

What about the song of storms from the legend of Zelda?

In the legend of Zelda ocarina of Time, you travel though time between child and adult by using the master sword, and doing so you can come back to certain areas to get different items from both times.

Well one song the you learn is called the song of storms and you learn it by going to the adult time and talk to a guy in a windmill. He tells you about a kid that came in 7 years ago and played a strange song and messed up the windmill and teaches it to you. After learning the song you can now go back to being a child and go to the guy in the windmill and play the song to him, despite not knowing it before as a child.

So questions are where did the song come from and who taught who the song? Did the windmill guy teach it to link or did link teach it to the windmill guy?

6. And around and around forever.

Jim is my enemy.

But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy.

And the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

So, Jim is actually my friend.

But…because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy.

So, actually Jim is my enemy.

But…

5. Where to put the hooks?

So i know this is just a silly thing but…..

At my old work, my department was food service. In our prep room, you had to always wear an apron. Always, no exceptions.

When leaving the preproom, you had to take your apron off to prevent cross contamination.

The bosses were trying to figure out where to put the hooks. Inside in the back of the door, or outside on the wall.

4. Definitely hard to explain.

The Banach Tarski paradox is one hell of a mind fuck.

Its basically taking something, and rearranging it to form another exact copy of itself while still having the complete original. Like taking a sphere, which has infinite points on it and drawing line from every “point” on its surface to the center, or the core of the sphere. Then you seperate the lines from the sphere, but because there is infinite points you now have an exact copy of the original sphere.

Its kind of hard to explain here so just watch the Vsauce video on it for a more in depth explanation.

3. The coastline is always growing…or something.

The coastline paradox.

The more accurately you measure a coastline, the longer it gets… to infinity.

2. But you do, in fact, reach the door.

One of my favorites is Xeno’s Paradox.

In order to leave my apartment, just for example, I have to walk half way to my front door. Then I have to walk half the remaining distance. Then half that distance, ad infinitum. In theory, I should never be able to reach the door.

Now I love this paradox, because we’ve actually solved it. It was a lively, well-discussed debate for millennia. At least a few early thinkers were convinced that motion was an illusion because of it!

It was so persuasive an argument that people doubted their senses!

Then Leibniz (and/or Newton) developed calculus and we realized that infinite sums can have finite solutions.

Paradox resolved.

It makes me wonder what “calculus” we are missing to resolve some of these others.

EDIT: A lot more people have strong opinions about Zeno’s Paradox than I thought. To address common comments:

1.) Yes, it’s Zeno, not ‘Xeno’. Blame autocorrect and my own fraught relationship with homophones.

2.) Yes there are three of them.

3.) If you’re getting hung up on the walking example, think of an arrow being shot at a fleeing target. First the arrow has to get to where the target was. But at that point, the target has moved. So the arrow has to cover that new distance. But by then, the target has moved again, etc. So the arrow gets infinitesimally closer to the target, but doesn’t ever reach it.

4.) Okay, you think you could have solved it if you were living in ancient Greece. I profoundly regret that you weren’t born back then to catapult our understanding two millenia into the future.

5.) Yes, I agree Diogenes was a badass.

I hope this covers everything.

1. Just take a shot and pick a box.

Newcomb’s Paradox:

There are two boxes, A and B. A contains either $1,000 or $0 and B contains $100. Box A is opaque, so you can’t see inside, Box B is clear, so you can see for sure that there is $100 in it.

Your options is to choose both boxes, or to choose only Box A.

There is an entity called “The Predictor”, which determines whether or not the $1,000 will be in Box A. How he chooses this is by predicting whether or not you will choose both boxes, or just Box A. If the Predictor predicts that you will “two box”, he will leave Box A empty. If he predicts that you will “one box”, he will put the $1,000 in Box A. He is accurate “an overwhelming amount of the time”, but not 100%. At the time of your decision, the contents of Box A (i.e. whether or not there is anything in it) are fixed, and nothing you do at that point will change whether or not there is anything in the box.

It is a paradox of decision theory that rests on two principles of rational choice. According to the principle of strategic dominance:

There are only two possibilities, and you don’t know which one holds:

Box A is empty: Therefore you should choose both boxes, to get $100 as opposed to $0.

Box A is full: Therefore you should choose both boxes, to get $1,100 as opposed to just $1,000.

Therefore, you should always choose both boxes, since under every possible scenario, this results in more money.

BUT:

According to the principle of expected value:

Choosing one box is superior because you have a statistically higher chance of getting more money. Most of the people who have gone before you who have chosen one box have gotten $1,000, and most that have chosen both boxes have gotten only $100. Therefore, if you analyze the problem statistically, or in terms of which decision has the higher probability of resulting in a higher outcome, you should choose only one box. Imagine one billion people going before you, and you actually seeing so many of them have this outcome. Any outliers became insignificant.

In terms of strategic dominance, two-boxing is always superior to one-boxing because no matter what is in Box A, two-boxing results in more money. One-boxing, on the other hand, has a demonstrably higher probability of resulting in a larger amount of money. Both of these choices represent fundamental principles of rational choice. There are two rival theories, Causal Decision Theory (which supports strategic dominance) and Evidential Decision Theory (which supports expected utility). It is pretty arcane but one of the most difficult paradoxes in contemporary philosophy.

Robert Nozick summed it up well: “To almost everyone, it is perfectly clear and obvious what should be done. The difficulty is that these people seem to divide almost evenly on the problem, with large numbers thinking that the opposing half is just being silly.”

EDIT: I made some edits…to make it clearer.

EDIT: There are also an offshoot of Newcomb’s Paradoxes called medical Newcomb’s Problems. I’ve been in a situation like this before, I’ll describe it:

I went on an antidepressant, and there’s a history of manic depression in my family. My psychiatrist told me that for some people, antidepressants bring out their manic phase, and they find out they have manic depression. They already did have manic depression, so it doesn’t cause it, it just reveals it. She told me to watch out for any impulsive decisions I making, as that can be a sign of a manic phase.

I was in line at a convenience store and thought: should I buy a black and mild? I don’t really smoke, but for some reason it seemed appealing. Then I realized, that seems like an impulsive decision. But, if it is an impulsive decision, and I go through with it, and do indeed have manic depression, then I should just do it anyways. After all, it’s not making me have manic depression, it’s simply revealing something to me that I already had. On the other hand, if I don’t do it, then I have no evidence that I have manic depression, meaning that there truly is less evidence, and therefore I have no reason to believe that I have manic depression.

Expected utility = don’t buy the black & mild Strategic dominance = buy the black & mild

These situations aren’t quite as easy to see, but they’re interesting anyways.

I’m doing quite well now and all indication is that I do not have manic depression.

I’m off to take a nap to recover.

Do you have a favorite paradox? If it’s not here, please leave it in the comments!

Yes, we’re asking you to mess with our head once again. Because that’s how we roll.

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