People Share the Absolute Worst Times They’ve Laughed in Public

There are times when everyone in the room laughs. There are times when most people are laughing, and there are times when only a few seem to be in on the joke.

Then, there are times when no one is laughing but you – because you really, really shouldn’t be cracking up.

These 14 people admit the moments those latter types came up in public, and you can judge for yourself just how inappropriate the laughter might have been.

14. What does he expect!

About 2 and a half years ago I was walking down the Main Street in my city and let me tell you, it was about half past boiling degrees. Anyway, as I’m just walking along (and struggling might I add) this guy who would have to have been around 6.9ft lumbers past me in an old Victorian Top hat!

I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a light chuckle (I held back as I didn’t want to be rude). To my surprise, he must have heard me and he turns to me and gives me a big cheeky wink before tipping his hat and running away. I still think about that big fella from time to time.

13. I bet grandma would have loved that sound.

I was very close to my great-grandma growing up. I was at her house often as she babysat me when I was younger. I was 12 when she died. It was the first death of someone I knew and loved. I was devastated.

Fast forward to the funeral. It was only my second funeral and this one I didn’t know how to act because I was grieving. My younger sister and I were tagging around with our uncle, who was 14 and close enough to our age that we were very close growing up. He was trying to keep up distracted and cheered up. So we were a bit squirrelly and our moms kept telling us to calm down.

There was a family member at the funeral going around taking pictures of family. He asked my sister and I to get a picture in front of the casket. I was weirded out but ok. He tells us to look at her with our palms together like we’re praying. I was struck by the absurdity of this and thought, oh I should pretend I’m crying. So I quick duck my face into my head and pretend to sob. I then I realized I was pretending to cry in front of my dead great-grandmother for a picture and for some reason, I thought this was just hilarious and started giggling uncontrollably.

My sister quickly starts giggling. We both succumb to what I’m sure was grief and uncomfortableness combined and we are literally on the floor laughing in front of our great-grandmother’s casket. I have a bad habit of peeing if I laugh too hard and sure enough, I’m trying hard not to wet my tights and laughing and crying. I see my mom and grandma come marching up to us and everyone staring daggers at us.

We got a good talking to about respect and are told to stay in the side room for family until we can compose ourselves. I was so ashamed and it was one of my most embarrassing memories for decades. I’ve finally come to terms with it and can appreciate that my great-grandma would have probably loved that we were laughing at her funeral.

12. Some things never change.

My mother and grandmother met an old acquaintance of hers at the cemetery were my grandpa is buried. There was a new grave of a 14 year-old who had recently passed of Fibrosis (affects the lungs). Said acquaintance goes “How sad, I heard that he died of Phimosis” (not being able to pull back the foreskin).

My mother, aware of the difference and having a record of bursting out laughing in horrible situations, can’t hold herself back, tears in the eyes and almost maniacally laughing. My grandma is very ashamed and infuriated at her daughter for laughing at her acquaintance of many years at the grave of a recently deceased 14 year-old.

Later grandma basically shouted at her for this behavior like she would have 40 years ago.

11. It is a very expressive language.

During my graduation ceremony, I was in the front row. We all got up to sing the school’s anthem. The song was also gestured(?) in sign language.

For some reason I found the person’s gestures really silly and I was barely containing myself from erupting into laughter.

10. I think that happened on Seinfeld once.

The ending of a boy in the striped pajamas. They were showing it at the blood donation place I went to, and at the end of the movie The son of the German running the concentration camp wanders into the camp, and gets sent to the gas chamber.

The irony of it made me giggle, and the dirty looks from all of the old ladies who had also just given blood, and watched the movie made me loss it. I was crying from laughter, and that’s the story of why I am no longer allowed to give blood.

9. Teenagers, right?

I went to a pro-life rally once and they had someone on stage doing sign language while they had someone giving a speech.

Everything was fine until the man said “at the moment of conception” and the person signing held up one hand in front of her in a fist, then with the other hand started wiggling her index finger, moved it across her, and inserted it into her fist, like a sperm swimming to an egg, and my teenager mind absolutely lost it.

8. We all have our crosses to bear.

My wife and I walked around the grocery store one day and when we turned around an isle a 7′ girl all of the sudden was in front of us. We managed to not laugh or stare, barely.

Then a black guy that was approx 15 seconds behind us noticed and loudly yelled “damn you’re tall as hell girl” in a voice only a 40+ black man can make.

We burst and quickly got into another isle. Poor girl. She seemed shy and bothered by being in public. Just because of people like me and my wife.

7. It just comes out of nowhere.

When the polish president died in a plane crash in 2012 (I think) there was a nationwide minute of silence.

For some reason I couldn’t stop laughing, it was like an attack of just laughter because of nothing.

Anyways my family got pissed and took me away to a room where I sat alone in the darkness and laughed for few minutes till my whole core started to hurt

6. Well that’s awkward.

I was brought into a full team meeting (six of us) at a previous job and was told one of my coworkers was fired and I chuckled a bit and smiled. Our team always played jokes/pranks on each other like that.

Turns out she was actually fired for signing her bosses name on time cards. I felt pretty terrible that they were serious. It was a dumb mistake for her to make, but she was a great coworker so I felt bad for even momentarily chuckling at the fact that she had been fired.

5. I’m sure the priest has seen it all.

My younger sister and I were altar serving on Ash Wednesday. We were probably about 13 and 11 years old.

The priest is making the cross on each parishioner’s forehead with ashes and saying “remember, man, that thou art but dust and to dust thou shalt return.”

My 13 year old brain decided to interpret that as “thou art butt dust” and I snorted.

That set my sister off and we were both sitting there laughing our asses off and trying to stifle it as much as possible.

4. So many yikes.

One time at a McDonald’s some kid had a hold of a milkshake and was enjoying the fuck out of it, arms a’flailing and screaming his little head off. Just enjoying life. I thought this was hilarious and tried -and fail- to stifle laughter as this little kid shared his joy over his frosted beverage to the world.

As me and my friends left the restaurant, they informed me the child was very obviously special needs. I laughed at a handicapped kid in public in front of everybody and had no idea how I looked or what I was doing. In hindsight I was surprised I didn’t get punched in the back of the head of it. I felt horrible over it.

3. Everyone loves to see that.

I was working at a McDonald’s cleaning in front next door I saw a guy walking and some guy comes on his bike behind and lays him out with one punch.

2. Sometimes it’s too much to take.

I work in a warehouse and we were in a meeting with all warehouse staff and our Director, Foreman and Supervisor.

The Director stood up and gave the usual flowery B.S. speech I assume most do. He then got to the phrase that I laughed out loud at:

“You are the backbone of this company, and your opinion matters!”

Note: We are the backbone, but they couldn’t give two craps about our opinions, I couldn’t believe he would lie to us so blatantly.

1. “It was fine.”

I was talking to my colleague and I causally asked him how his weekend went.

I was expecting him to say the usual boring stuff like walked the dog etc- instead out of nowhere he says “it was fine, went to my mates funeral” at that moment I burst out laughing in his face uncontrollably, I don’t understand why it made me laugh so much but it was the last thing I expected him to say. I’m a terrible person.

I’m just so glad none of these are my stories.

If you’ve got one that would qualify, though, please share it with us in the comments

The post People Share the Absolute Worst Times They’ve Laughed in Public appeared first on UberFacts.

Conversations That Happened When Someone Texted a Wrong Number

Most of us have been guilty of either calling or texting a wrong number once in a while.

We’re human, mistakes happen, and generally everyone is very polite about the whole mix-up.

Generally, though, people don’t keep talking after the error is discovered…and they don’t do whatever these 18 people did, either.

18. Something isn’t working upstairs.

A lot, I’d say.

Sir, do you know how wrong numbers work from facepalm

17. Say the same thing a different way.

Eventually they might get it.

I don’t even understand how people with this logic get through their day from facepalm

16. New number, who dis.

Ah, the police!

Image Credit: Someecards

15. Don’t go!

We need answers.

Image Credit: Someecards

14. Everyone’s looking for ways to save time.

Might get one of them…

Scammer tried to scam 20 random people at once from facepalm

13. Do you suppose he was texting his cat?

I kind of hope so.

12. Wow…

That’s a lot to handle for a random person.

Image Credit: Someecards

11. How can there be no more questions?

That is certainly not fine.

This dude jus texted me… from wrongnumber

10. Dang voice to text.

What on earth does that even MEAN.

9. A reminder that people are so very different.

I have never needed to shoe a mule.

8. I will never not share this story.

Everyone needs a good grandma.

Image Credit: Twitter

7. Never miss an opportunity to talk about cheese.

I want some smoked Gouda now.

Image Credit: Someecards

6. This is hilarious.

And also more than a little scary.

A doctor accidentally texted my girlfriend requiring medical assistance. She turned out to be useful. from screenshots

5. I guess poor Bob never got his wipes.

Poor sap. Those things are like gold these days.

4. You can stop now.

Seriously, I don’t think your mom would want that.

Image Credit: Tumblr

3. Y’all what is happening here.

Other than this guy bringing the chili I guess.

Image Credit: Someecards

2. I’d say there’s a high probability.

Considering you’re human.

1. This guy had his eye on the prize.

Can’t say I’m surprised he got a wrong number, though.

Wrong number text I received today. from facepalm

Aren’t you kind of inspired about humans in general now? I know I kind of am!

What’s something funny or otherwise interesting that’s happened to you after texting a wrong number?

Tell us the story in the comments!

The post Conversations That Happened When Someone Texted a Wrong Number appeared first on UberFacts.

Take a Look at These Funny “Problems” With Having a Dog

Dogs. They’re the worst, right?

You adopt one thinking they’re so adorable and before you know it your whole LIFE is revolving around these puppers.

I mean, where do they get off? Invading our sleep and our free time, our relationships, our memes – they’re out of control!

Here are the top ten problems with having a dog and why they should be stopped.

10. They’re always chewing something

And you’ll never ever find out what it is.

Via: Someecards

9. They’re after your snackies

Once you pop, the barks don’t stop.

Via: Someecards

8. They’re so needy

When do pets become petulant?

Via: Someecards

7. They won’t stay off the couch

Look at all the adorable fur you left here!

Via: Someecards

6. They just look at you all day

Like they love you or something. It’s creepy.

Via: Someecards

5. They take your turkey

And not just on Thanksgiving.

Via: Someecards

4. They’re always preening

And for some reason they want you to be around for it?

Via: Someecards

3. They have no sense of priorities

What exactly are you guarding, guard dog?

Via: Someecards

2. They fill your phone up

Not even the cloud can be trusted with these beauties.

Via: Someecards

1. They’re master guilt-trippers

Look into those judging eyes and tell me you can withstand them.

Via: Someecards

In conclusion, these are the reasons that dogs are the bestest ever. That’s why I started writing this, right? I honestly don’t remember now. I’m just staring at widdle paws.

What’s the best/worst thing about having a dog?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Take a Look at These Funny “Problems” With Having a Dog appeared first on UberFacts.

Millennials Who Just Might Be Funnier Than Anyone Born in Gen Z

Generation Z people get a lot of credit for being funny and self-deprecating and basically the best people on the internet.

As a tail-end Gen Xer, I would take offense at that, since we’re pretty funny, too.

Except I don’t really care.

Which leaves Millennials to challenge Gen Z for the funniest TikTok throne (or whatever), and I’ve got to say, these 11 folks are giving those kids a run for their money.

Let’s take a look!

11. Wait are you saying that’s not cool anymore.

I need to retake our family pictures.

@heymeganmorgan

Where are my girls who graduated 2007-2010 👋🏼 #2009 #millennial #tiktokover25 #poof #thepoof #highschoolmemories #norcal #dogmom #hairstyles

♬ original sound – That_guy

10. I remember when 30 seemed old.

Such a cute little young’un I was.

@haydenesauphoto

It’s here… #90s #millennial #millennialsoftiktok #creepy #spookyseason #30s #PumpkinSeason #xyzbca #foryoupage

♬ original sound – couchiephart

9. We are all hypocrites in the end.

It’s called being a parent.

@ash_lay

#millennial parents right now with #WAP lmao. #myneckmyback was the song that made our parents heads turn- back in the day 🥴 #momsoftiktok

♬ original sound – Ashlay Soto ✔️

8. It never ends.

Just tell them they can’t have grandkids because it’s bad for the environment.

@haydenesauphoto

It’s here… #90s #millennial #millennialsoftiktok #creepy #spookyseason #30s #PumpkinSeason #xyzbca #foryoupage

♬ original sound – couchiephart

7. I mean…who needs to be a good dancer?

Do they still teach square dancing in schools?

@acooz31

You can’t tell me the Gen Z teens aren’t genetically modified #fyp #foryoupage #millennial #savage #greenscreen #funny #dance #comedy #trending

♬ Cotton eye joe still slaps – Angie Cocuzza

6. It’s the very last word that does it.

But first, coffee.

@erichwithanh

Get your hot beverages ready. #fyp #foryoupage #over25 #millennial #mentalheath #mentalhealthmatters #workgrind #WhatsPoppin #sleepyhead

♬ original sound – It Erich

5. Who danced it better?

I think we all know the answer to that.

@alyjae4real

YAL KILLIN ME! If you need a tutorial, just ask! Dang 😂😂😂 #walkitout #millennialdances #millennials #tiktokover30 #alyjae

♬ Walk It Out – Unk

4. A succinct illustration of how things have changed.

And no, not for the better.

@irelandbasingerbaldwin

Reposting because Tik Tok wants to take my sound down?? Don’t be lame.

♬ original sound – irelandbaldwin

3. Sure, she looks insane…

It’s really the only appropriate response, though.

@hannahthemostmanly

Each generation is handling this crisis differently #genx #boomer #millennial #genz #xyzbca #fyp

♬ original sound – Tik Toker

2. Why WOULD anyone stop thirsting over Efron, though?

He’s their Leo DiCaprio.

@raizelco

We love a consistent King 👑 . #zacefron #over25 #millennial #crush

♬ original sound – Regina 🕴🏻

1. On the trials we have bested.

Survival skills are ours.

@blondiemomof2

#90skids #survivor #millennial #PetsOfTikTok #MeetMyParents #momlife #momsoftiktok #viral

♬ Survivor – 2WEI & Edda Hayes

 

See what I mean? Who is winning the generation wars as far as comedy?

Right now… millennials are destroying the Gen Zers. And they’re DEFINITELY funnier than boomers.

And Generation X? Well, we’re just sitting back and laughing our butts off at everybody fighting.

But that’s what I think… what about you?! Give me all of your thoughts in the comments!

The post Millennials Who Just Might Be Funnier Than Anyone Born in Gen Z appeared first on UberFacts.

These People Admitted to Believing Some Pretty Silly Lies

Kids will believe pretty much anything. Add that to the fact that a lot of parents enjoy hoodwinking us for fun, and well, most of us can recall believing some pretty silly stuff during childhood.

That said, sometimes our parents sort of forget to tell us the truth, or assume we’ve learned it ourselves, and we believe those things for way too long – these 16 people are willing to admit to just that, for the laughs.

16. I guess undercover work is in trouble, then.

That if you ask someone if they’re a police officer, they have to tell you the truth.

There are still people who believe this. Whoever started this urban legend is a genius.

15. I don’t know when I realized they were real.

That reindeer wasn’t an actual animal but specifically a mythical animal that Santa Claus used.

I believed this until I was 23 or so when I saw some nature documentary talking about reindeer. I was like.. whaaaaaaaaat?

14. Sometimes we just want to believe.

My dog went to a farm… Until I was 35.

13. That is very elaborate.

When I was a kid I used to think professional wrestling was real, and The Undertaker scared the living shit out of me during his whole Ministry of Darkness phase. I thought he actually was Satan’s minister or something.

Like yeah, he’s an undead overlord of hell, here to bring an eternity of darkness and misery to this planet, but he also has to make a weekly television appearance to win a wrestling competition, and you can buy his action figure at Toys R Us.

12. Major parent fail.

I thought guys got periods too, but only once, and you bled and then you were able to impregnate someone.

I cut my upper leg during a rugby match and was bleeding near my groin and was devastated because I thought everyone would presume I had my period mid-match and also subsequently would be walking around able to impregnate people. Worst thing is, I wasn’t even a stupid kid – we literally just lived in a reserved country and I was a full-time boarder at my school, so never got ‘the talk’.

Anyway, thanks for attending my Bled Talk.

11. Bless.

I believed my uncles “roommate” just slept on the couch…

10. I can see this kid’s mind turning.

More so naive and innocent rather than dumb but still funny.

My dad used to tell us kids that a dwarf/little person worked in and operated every carpark barrier in the world.

Every time he drove up to one he’d press the button for the ticket and say “cheers mate, hows the wife?” and fake a conversation as he waited for the barrier to open lol.

9. When the dumb almost kills you.

That I could smell something while underwater.

When I was around 10/12 years old I was in a tropical themed water park where also happened to be a herbal bath. It smelled very nice, which I had not expected. Most of the tropical plants were fake plastic plants, so I figured the water in the bath was normal swimming pool water and the smell was coming from something else. The bath was surrounded with a small aromatic herb garden which didn’t look fake. I sneakily took a sample from a thyme plant that felt surprisingly real.

But because the air was filled with all the different aromas and a hint of chlorine I couldn’t smell anything different when I tried to smell the thyme. I figured the only place where my sense of smell couldn’t be fooled by any fakery was underwater. For 5 seconds I actually felt pretty smart. Until I tried.

8. I am dead now.

That sperm were the size of tennis balls and would burst forth from the head of your penis if you “slept with a woman”, slither across the bed up into her, and make the baby.

Thanks facts of life popup book with no adults willing to clarify that the objects within were not always to scale.

7. His wife told him the truth.

I used to think they dropped the ball at times square multiple times for each USA time zone.

I just assumed people stuck around for the extra ball drops cuz they were all drunk and having fun.

Worth mentioning that I believed this until I was an adult and had my east coast wife let me down easy

6. Sex education is sorely lacking.

I thought that girls peed from their butts.

Then I learned about vaginas and thought girls peed from there.

It wasn’t until I was like 16 that I realized there was another hole.

5. That makes you think.

When we played Pokémon Mystery Dungeon my little sister used to accept the lamest missions and not get good rewards. I told her about it and she responded with

“How would you like it if you were a poor Pokémon that lost its mom and was stuck all alone and had nothing to give someone to save you?”

I laughed my head off at her because “it’s not real, duh” but secretly, I feel that in my soul sometimes.

4. Hollywood is a liar.

That men can get pregnant too …. damn you Schwarzenegger :'(

I was 6 and I saw a man with a big beer belly shopping for diapers at a mall. It made all sense to me and i was so happy i screamed omg u will have a baby !

I think I am gonna go rewatch Junior again.

3. It’s the last part that nails it.

As a kid, my sister told me that we had an older brother that died.

She said he died when playing bowling and his fingers didn’t come out the ball and slid all the way down the alley then he turned into a skittle.

2. Maybe these should be things.

When I was a little kid, I believed that when people got divorced, they had a divorce ceremony, like where they had to go to church and say, “I don’t.”

I imagined the woman wore a black divorce dress (like her wedding dress had been dyed black), and that everybody went to the reception where the ex-bride and ex-groom sat on opposite sides of the hall and there was a divorce cake where the little bride and groom on top had their backs to each other with their arms angrily crossed.

I eventually learned, from watching my mom’s soap operas, that this was not the case, and was kind of disappointed cuz I’d been to a few weddings by then, and was interested in what a divorce ceremony was like.

1. So many wrong lyrics before the internet.

One of my favorite song’s growing up was TLC’s “Don’t Go, Jason Waterfalls”

I can’t think of anything I believed past the age of say, ten, can you?

If so, please share the story with us in the comments!

The post These People Admitted to Believing Some Pretty Silly Lies appeared first on UberFacts.

Hilarious Memes for Looking and Laughing and Sharing

If you printed out all the memes on the internet and stacked them on top of each other…scientists estimate that that would be a stupid waste of time. Because there are so many memes, you see. And also printers are finicky.

Here are some memes you can just look at on your screen. For laughing.

15. The master plan

Looks like life’s gonna be a real scream.

Via: Someecards

14. Checked out

“How much of that stuff did I smoke?”

Via: Someecards

13. Killing the mood

You start feeling like maybe you’re gonna be the subject of the next episode.

Via: Someecards

12. Whoop-de-doodle-doo

What do you even have to be stressed about, you are a chicken.

Via: Someecards

11. Perfect vision

Let me frame the situation a little differently.

Via: Someecards

10. Heat waves

Burning on the edges, frozen in the middle.

Via: Someecards

9. Food for thought

Visions of sugarplums dance in my head.

Via: Someecards

8. Start your engines

I swear these machines are just lonely and want our attention.

Via: Someecards

7. Work it out

Hey for all I know, I’m doing the same.

Via: Someecards

6. Hopes and prayers

Against all odds, the tail wags eternal.

Via: Someecards

5. Get over IT

Just a couple of brothers clownin’ around.

Via: Someecards

4. I’m on a roll

I’m sorry you have to see me like this.

Via: Someecards

3. Show me the dough

How can something so delicious do me wrong?

Via: Someecards

2. That’s a stretch

A morning in vs a night out.

Via: Someecards

1. The American way

This is me and I will never apologize for it.

Via: Someecards

Man, I sure am glad I have both these eyes in my head or I’d have never seen all those great memes. Thanks, eyes. You’re the real MVPs.

What’s your favorite place to find memes?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Hilarious Memes for Looking and Laughing and Sharing appeared first on UberFacts.

Hilarious Posts That Could Only Have Been Written by Canadians

If there’s one thing people know and can count on without a doubt, it’s that Canadians will continue to be delightfully kind and strange in equal measure.

They’re not frighteningly strange, you know…just a bit off.

And they’re not sickeningly sweet, they just try to be nice when they can.

All of which is abundantly clear in these 14 posts, who really couldn’t have been written by anyone else.

14. That’s one brave shopkeep.

Moose are so big.

https://fanndists.tumblr.com/post/48813883416

13. The wallet got the souvenirs?

Or maybe the were for the wallet’s owner…

https://bettiebloodshed.tumblr.com/post/51975511242/awellkept-secret-this-guy-in-my-class-said-his

12. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

Think about it.

https://fressssssssssh.tumblr.com/post/73272270736

11. “Illegal maple syrup dealer.”

Things that only exist in Canada.

https://littleorphanammo.tumblr.com/post/82918806735/myanonymouslove-the-vashta-nerada-i-was-with

10. There’s no need to fight it.

We love y’all just the way you are.

https://albinwonderland.tumblr.com/post/118175722807/i-really-try-to-challenge-canadian-stereotypes-at

9. Wait, Canadians get divorced?

I was unaware.

https://dorian-gray.tumblr.com/post/158747671750/everydayisllkeabattle-sometimes-i-think-canadian

8. It’s the only thing that makes sense honestly.

I’ve known this is the case for awhile.

https://ladamania.tumblr.com/post/94000083642/factsofcanada-the-reason-canadians-are-so-nice

7. That still seems pretty innocent, though.

He just wanted to teach school!

https://royalturkeyz.tumblr.com/post/79376861570/illea-you-guys-all-think-that-canada-is-so

6. It’s a lesson they learn in infancy.

Backed up by actually encountering Canadian geese.

https://vestorthedestroyer.tumblr.com/post/110188552621/sometimes-i-get-mad-at-canadian-steroetypes

5. I have so many questions.

I honestly don’t even know where to start.

https://cheerupqueerup.tumblr.com/post/55638090572/akinators-boyfriend-can-town-mayor

4. They’re like American midwesterners on steroids.

And that’s saying something.

Image Credit: Tumblr

3. I need to know if this really happened.

I want to believe this could save the world.

https://taahko.tumblr.com/post/71481930278/eatsleepandfangirl-sometimes-i-get-offended-by

2. I mean sure, why not?

Can you think of a better one?

https://foreverfangirlingalways.tumblr.com/post/68009317421/lumos5001-brittanias-77-million-people

1. Pics or it didn’t…

Oh. Okay then.

https://pissvortex.tumblr.com/post/60044502452/shinymaplesquid-shinymaplesquid-i-just-got-a

 

I’ve really got to get back to Canada as soon as possible!

Do you have a Canadian in your life that you know and love?

Tell us the best thing about them in the comments!

The post Hilarious Posts That Could Only Have Been Written by Canadians appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes That Pay Tribute to Doggos

There’s only one thing better than having a dog: having more than one dog. Dogs are just sort of these endless fountains of joy. And also fur. They’re fur fountains that bring us happiness, and thus we must pay tribute to them with our memes.

Here are fourteen such memes to make your heart go squeal.

14. A fair warning

Oh I am VERY aware of dog, don’t you worry.

Via: Someecards

13. Trick questions

Get this pupper on Doggo Jeopardy.

Via: Someecards

12. A slice of happiness

I’d take a piece of that.

Via: Someecards

11. Rules are rules

“Why must you do this every time I’m about my business, Greg?”

Via: Someecards

10. That’s the stuff

Why this rips me to the very core.

Via: Someecards

9. Flood of joy

10/10, would drown here, heckin good way to die.

Via: Someecards

8. I’m a pupper person

If you ain’t got the boi, ya don’t bring me joy.

Via: Someecards

7. So long, salon

What wizardry is this?!

Via: Someecards

6. Join us, join us, join us…

Where do I sign up for this program?

Via: Someecards

5. Growing up

There’s um…there’s something in my eye.

Via: Someecards

4. The final countdown

Ok, you actually just blew my mind.

Via: Someecards

3. Shifting blame

Is this the Taco Bell dog?

Via: Someecards

2. Go fetch

When you’re mid-poop and you realize you’ve run out.

Via: Someecards

1. Up we go

That dog is very patient but has clearly seen enough today.

Via: Someecards

We don’t deserve dogs. But don’t tell them that. I’d really like to keep ’em anyway.

What’s your favorite thing about doggos?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes That Pay Tribute to Doggos appeared first on UberFacts.

Funny Tweets to Improve Your Day

I bet you didn’t know that there are over 5,000 tweets sent out every single second. It’s impossible to wrap my head around that number of tweets. That means that there was a new oooooonnnneee NOW.

And NOW.

And NOW.

And now and now and now andnowandnowandNOW.

And juuuuuuust now.

AND NOW.

…and now.

You know what, this is getting exhausted, let’s just look at some of the ones that caught our eye recently.

10. What a morning

I mean, technically it’s a bar. Call it a Pavlovian response.

9. Gimme yum yums

Mmm, yes, interesting, curly fries, please do go on.

8. The truth comes out

Speak from the truest part of yourself.

7. Stuck in the middle

Just like this hot pocket, I’m ice cold on the inside.

6. No you don’t

The only place I’m driving you is crazy.

5. Consumed by thought

It’s really been eating me up.

4. I see dead people

If that’s what the afterlife is I hope I never die.

3. Avoidant joys

Sorry for explaining that. Thank you. Sorry.

2. Shrinkage

The hot stuff doesn’t leave you feeling like hot stuff.

1. Oh, dip

Don’t forget fruitlessly half-trying to clean up the crumbs.

There are so very many tweets, and so little time. We’ll never be able to keep up with all of the clever things people are saying on the platform, but at least we’ve found a few gems among the deluge to enjoy.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us who you think we should be following in the comments.

The post Funny Tweets to Improve Your Day appeared first on UberFacts.

Orchid and More Words With Surprisingly Risqué Origins

Unless you’re an etymologist, I highly doubt you spend your days thinking about the history and evolution of language.

With bills to pay, errands to run, and work to get done we don’t all have the time to consider how and why our language has evolved over the centuries.

However, some words are worth taking the time to investigate. You’d be surprised at which ordinary, every day words actually have a naughty history.

They may seem innocent enough but these 9 words each have a risqué origin that might leave you blushing.

1. Patridge

Image Credit: Unsplash

You might be familiar with a partridge in a pear tree or even the Partridge Family, but did you know the word partridge comes from the Greek word perdesthai, meaning “to break wind”?

This references the whirring sound its wings make when it takes to the skies.

Think about that the next time you’re singing 12 Days of Christmas.

2. Gymnasium

Image Credit: Unsplash

When you read the word gymnasium you might recall memories from your younger years of dodging balls, enduring the Presidential Fitness Test, or enjoying a pep rally.

What probably doesn’t come to mind is… nudity.

Gymnasium comes from the Greek gumnazeinwhich means to exercise or play sports in the nude.

According to National Geographic, we’re not sure exactly why the Greeks were so keen on letting it all hang out, but it probably had to do with the Mediterranean climate and an abundance of body confidence.

3. Porcelain

Image Credit: Pexels

What could be naughty about porcelain? It’s so delicate and dignified.

Porcelain in and of itself is not a naughty word, as it translates simply to “cowrie shell.” Cowrie shells (remember “puka” shell necklaces?) are small, delicate and pretty.

However, the shell’s name in Italian is from porcella meaning “young sow,” or “young pig.” It is thought the shells were named for their resemblance to a cow/pig’s outer genitals.

Not so dignified now, huh?

4. Mastodon

Image Credit: Snappy Goat

Mastodons are the ancestor of our modern day elephant. These large beasts roamed North and Central America during the late Miocene period up to their extinction 10,000-11,000 years ago.

In Greek, masto translates to “breast” and odon translates to “tooth,” so mastodon really means “breast-tooth.”

It was Georges Cuvier, a 19th century French naturalist who coined the name in 1817, after discovering nipple-like projections on fossils of the mammal’s molars.

5. Punk

Image Credit: Unsplash

When you read the word punk, you might imagine a band of rock and roll music artists or a group of their leather-clad fans thrashing in a most pit.

Though it describes a particular genre of music and style, the word punk originally meant something was “worthless” or a “worthless person” of a “criminal” background.

It was also used to describe female prostitutes, as seen in Shakespeare’s Alls Well that Ends Well.

6. Musk

Image Credit: Pixabay

According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, musk comes from the Sanskrit word muṣka, which translates to “testicle.”

You’ve probably heard of “man musk,” in reference to a particular smell associated with the male of the species (whether it’s a good smell or not is up to you). But did you know male musk deer actually secrete musk in the form of a reddish-brown substance? (gag!)

It’s produced in a gland that was originally thought to look like a scrotum, although it is not directly tied to reproduction.

7. Forlorn

Image Credit: Pexels

We all experience lows in our life, but to be forlorn is to be more than just sad.

According to Dictionary.com, forlorn means to feel desolate, unhappy, lonely, or despairing.

Forlorn comes from Old English loren, meaning “to lose” or to be “depraved of.”

Those who are forlorn are destitute and godforsaken, abandoned by those they love.

And it’s hard to bounce back from a place like that.

8. Pasta Alla Puttanesca

Image Credit: Unsplash

Pasta alla puttanesca is a delicious Italian dish consisting of anchovies, olives, tomatoes, capers, and pasta. You may recognize it as the dish the Baudelaire orphans cooked up for Count Olaf in the first book of A Series of Unfortunate Events, but did you know the word puttanesca literally translates to “in the style of a prostitute”?

Some have theorized that courtesans and sex workers used the dish to lure in potential customers, or that it was a simple dish to cook up between services.

However, Italians use the word puttana like Americans might use “sh^t,” she the real origin of the name is most likely that someone just threw together whatever sh^t was on hand and called it dinner.

9. Orchid

Image Credit: Unsplash

I know what you’re thinking, but no, the origin of orchid is not related to the female anatomy. The name actually comes from the Greek orkhis, which literally translates to “testicle.” Yet another word whose origins are associated with male genitalia.

The orchid was named so for the shape of it’s root which resembles a testicle. The more you know!

Aren’t words fun?

My personal favorite of these saucy origins is pasta alla puttanesca. I can’t wait to see the look on my mother’s face the next time we have dinner and I tell her I’ve made pasta “in the style of a prostitute.”

Do you have a favorite world of indecent origin? Let us know in the comments!

The post Orchid and More Words With Surprisingly Risqué Origins appeared first on UberFacts.