Category: Funny

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People Share Why They Secretly Hate Yoga Pants

Ahhhh, the many joys wearing the same pair of yoga pants three days in a row. There are few things that can beat the comfort and convenience of fashionable athleisure.

However, yoga pants are definitely not a one-size-fits-all kind of deal, especially to the opinionated folks surfing the internet.

Here’s a list of 13 people confessing why they actually hate yoga pants – as blasphemous as that seems.

1. Too much judgement

It’s true. The pro-leggings community can be quite hostile when confronted with a different opinion.

Image Credit: whisper

2. Yikes

This is just straight up hatred.

Image Credit: whisper

3. Oh no…

Don’t worry – there’s always something to strive for.

Image Credit: whisper

4. Super revealing!

But hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it.

Image Credit: whisper

5. They’re oddly uncomfortable

Some people strangely feel the reverse effect that yoga pants were intended for.

Image Credit: whisper

6. So much for class!

They’re definitely not the move for an in-person interview, but come on – really?

Image Credit: whisper

7. The style is off

Now this complaint is one that I can understand.

Image Credit: whisper

8. They’re indiscreet

Sometimes, yoga pants show just a little too much of what’s going on down there.

Image Credit: whisper

9. Bad vibes

Yeah, I can definitely see how yoga pants would make you think about this unfortunate image.

Image Credit: whisper

10. They’re not not durable

All I can say is this: invest in a pair of Lululemon leggings.

Image Credit: whisper

11. Improper use

Some people are pretty picky about where and when they wear their exercise clothes.

Image Credit: whisper

12. Low self-esteem

Hey, if you feel good in yoga pants, then you look good in yoga pants.

Image Credit: whisper

While all those arguments were very convincing, I’m sure many of us are still defiantly pro-yoga pants here. Sometimes you just need that effortless comfort… and what better way to get that by putting on pants that aren’t even really pants?

What’s your stance on yoga pants? Do you love them or hate them? Share your take with us in the comments!

The post People Share Why They Secretly Hate Yoga Pants appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Recall Funny Things They Weren’t Allowed to Laugh At

I’m not sure there if there are many things more difficult for a human being than trying not to laugh when something strikes you as funny – I know that as a parent of toddlers, I am faced with this particular conundrum pretty regularly these days.

No matter the reason you’re not supposed to laugh – the time, the place, the joke, what have you – trying to hold it in only makes you want to laugh, more right?

You’re gonna be so glad that you’re allowed to laugh, at least, when you read through these 13 responses.

13. I could not have kept it together.

A guy was acting as his own attorney. He was questioning himself in court by standing up, asking a question, then sitting down to answer it.

The judge finally looked at him and said, “Sit down, Mr. X.”

I almost lost it, but managed to hold my court demeanor.

12. I think he would like that.

Great Uncle’s funeral.

The vicar was doing his thing, but when he said “our soul”, in his posh-ish accent it sounds just like “arsehole” and it got me. I managed to keep it together the first time, but after the second one I could barely hold it back….

It was something like, “our soul is something we should cherish, it defines who we are…“

I was stifling laughter to the point of tears, my mum said after she thought I was crying.

There’s an Oasis song called Acquiesce where the same things happens and me and my cousin, who was sitting away from me inside the church, used to make each other laugh by singing that (we were about 13 or 14 at the time). After the service had finished we met outside and were rolling about it fits of laughter – he had had the exact same reaction.

It’s something we still laugh about 20 years later.

11. That is not what he wanted to say.

Our teacher was scolding the class but in his rage induced lecture he accidentally knocked over a stack of graded papers onto the floor ruining the perfect by name order he had them in. That’s not what was funny.

What was funny was he immediately said out loud aw shucks since he wouldn’t swear. This came out of a man who’s face was red as a lobster. I almost choked trying not to laugh

10. This is amazingly terrible.

I was giving a hitting lesson to a 9 year old kid before the pandemic.

After the lesson his dad mentioned that when you get older you can get whatever name or nickname printed on your wood bat.

The kid asked if he could get “c*ck sucker” printed on his bat. I had to put my glove over my mouth so he wouldn’t see me laughing!

9. Insult to injury.

My normally pretty chill, easily distracted science teacher at secondary school went off at a kid for slamming his books on the desk.

“HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID?!”

Punctuating “stupid” by slamming his fist down on the paperwork in front of him.

However, as he slammed his fist down, I heard a slight tinkle that struck me as odd.

Ten or so minutes later I notice the teacher’s face went bright red as he moves the paperwork that was in front of him to discover the freshly broken glass plate from overhead projector…

8. Well this is awkward.

So the Dean of our college had recently passed away due to cancer, and he was a nice/popular guy so he was well liked by students and faculty.

During an event to commemorate him, all the students and faculty gathered and some people went on stage to share their memories of him.

This one guy (a new student who barely knew him) goes up on stage and starts giving this really emotional speech. The only problem was that he was talking about another faculty member, who was very much alive and had just gone abroad for a few months for training. The dude went into all the details about his life and even called him by name to make it evident what was happening. Turns out he thought the wrong guy was dead, and his attempt at an overly emotional speech made it worse.

Looking at all the confused people on stage, the situation was very funny; but just before him, other students and teachers had given heartfelt eulogies for the Dean so it felt wrong to laugh at the time…

7. The important stuff.

Paramedic here, watched a drunk falling down a bunch of stairs.

He had several broken bones and looked like a pretzel.

He then just screamed at his friend to get him a new beer because he dropped his.

Nearly pissed myself.

6. Kids are always bringing the fun.

You’re not allowed to laugh at a funeral, right?

Well we all did, so I guess this counts: at my grandmother’s funeral, when the priest asked us all for a moment of silence to remember my grandmother, my 5 year old brother, amidst all the silence and hushed crying and tears saw the priest lighting candles and started singing at the top of his lungs, “happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!”

He turned one of the saddest moments of my life into the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

5. Was this an episode of South Park?

While having dinner with my friend who has a 5 year old and a 3 year old:

5yo: “you know what Wyatt said in class today? He said ‘f*ck you!’”

3yo: “f*ck me…..”

4. An excellent question.

There is always hilarity when you have young kids at funerals.

I can still feel the dirty looks from my relatives when I burst out laughing at my grandfather’s funeral and it was damn near 25 years ago!

We were all milling around at the funeral home for the after service wake when my young cousin came up and had this confused look on his face. I asked what was up, expecting him to ask why people were sad or something. Nope. He pointed to the security bars on the windows and asked “are those to keep people in or keep people out?” I laughed so hard that I damn near wet myself.

3. Stop it.

At my friend’s grandfather’s funeral. The first sentence of the pastor’s speech was “We are all here because we love Dick so much.” His name was Richard.

This holy man gave a 15 minute speech about his love of Dick and how Dick changed his life. My wife and I did not make eye contact through the entire thing for fear of busting out laughing in a quiet, crowded church.

It took me about a year to ask my friend his thoughts about it and apparently he was close to losing it too.

2. He got the last laugh.

I was in a cadaver lab for an anatomy class, and that week we were learning hip and upper leg muscles.

My group were at the table and one of the guys proceeded to roll the cadaver leg over, from looking at the hamstring to study the quads.

We didn’t realize that the leg belonged to a male until its d*ck slapped him straight on the back of his hand.

Entire group was breathing super hard trying not to laugh and appear disrespectful in the eyes of the tutors, but I honestly reckon the guy would’ve been laughing with us.

1. I think I would have lost it.

Helping a Grade 2 class (~8 year olds) and one of the kids was just so loud.

He was running around the class when one of the girls held out her arm and clotheslined him.

I was able to keep a straight face for that but she kneeled down and yelled, “Boom!” at him.

He started crying, they both got a detention, and I almost bit through my tongue.

I don’t know whether I love or hate this feeling, to be honest.

What’s your story along these lines? Share it with us in the comments!

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Celebrity Tweets That Are Totally Worth Your Time

Celebrity Twitter accounts can be hit or miss, and if you really really love someone, you’re taking a chance following them on social media.

Most of us take the chance, crossing our fingers and holding our breath every time one of their tweets comes across our streams, hoping today won’t be the day they let us down.

That said, we’ve gone through the muck and emerged on the other side with these 13 gems that will only make you love your favorite famous peeps even more.

13. Ooooh gauntlet thrown.

Anyone have popcorn?

12. Some of us laid around a lot.

One of us was Taylor Swift.

11. Like the rest of us.

I wonder if he’s also hot for Chuck Bass.

10. I guess that answers that.

He gave it a shot.

9. This one makes my heart happy.

No one deserves it more!

8. How cute it’s a hobby.

Also she’s a queen.

7. Only one of them is smiling.

So am I, though.

6. You have to know your limits.

No matter how famous you are.

5. Why is this so hilarious?

Ahhh right because he’s so funny.

4. This is the kind of content everyone is on the internet for.

Cat pics never miss.

3. Preach, Missy.

Each and every word.

2. This talk reduces everyone to an embarrassed teenager.

I don’t care who you are.

1. Even House knows what’s up.

Listen to the man!

 

I think I need to find some more celebrity accounts to follow, because it turns out, some of them might be worth it.

Tell me which ones are your favorites down in the comments!

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Bizarre Things People Have Said in Their Sleep

I don’t talk in my sleep, but my best friend is, and let me tell you, there’s nothing quite so disconcerting as waking up in the middle of the night to someone in the middle of a completely weird conversation with you.

I always think these stories are so hilarious – and sometimes freaky – and these 17 tales are no exception.

17. She could write a book.

A really funny and equally disturbing book.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

16. It’s a question that always needs answers.

It’s how we make decisions, people.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

15. How many trousers does a man wear?

A man has no trousers.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

14. That last one though.

Nothing in the more popular blue and black, I suppose.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

13. Yes, very odd.

But no one likes to miss out on crumpets.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

12. Good for them.

You’ve got to stand up for yourself, you know?

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

11. He’ll never live it down.

Nor should he.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

10. That did not go how I imagined at the start.

It seems like a viable option, though.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

9. I cannot stop giggling.

That poor man. A rude awakening to be sure!

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

8. So considerate.

No one wants to miss the film.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

7. It’s best to just go along.

There’s no point in arguing.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

6. Do you run? Hold still?

Scream? There is no manual for this!

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

5. Yes we all know perfectly well.

You cannot taunt the tigers.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

4. That is hilarious.

But it will definitely wake you up.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

3. Now I kind of want to try it.

I mean. You never know.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

2. He had no trouble sleeping, though.

Of course.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

1. Maybe he knows something she doesn’t.

Just trying to be helpful, that one.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

I could read through these forever, couldn’t you?

Do you live with a sleep-talker? Share with us the funniest or strangest thing they’ve ever said in the middle of the night!

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These Folks All Talk in Their Sleep, and Their Partners Have Heard Some Pretty Funny Stuff

People who talk in their sleep are a rare breed.

They’re deep sleepers, and when they start jabbering on while unconscious, they have no idea they’ve said anything at all, never mind remembering exactly what came out of their mouths.

Their partners have some pretty funny stories to tell…even if sometimes nights like these 15 have them losing sleep.

15. She should obviously have dumped him.

The answer to more bread is always yes.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

14. I mean, that kind of makes sense.

Theatre always needs more funding.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

13. Something is half empty.

Like a little devil.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

12. How did THAT not wake her up?

I mean…ow.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

11. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

The engine, not the potatoes. That’s most certainly bad.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

10. Well he certainly can’t now.

In his dreams he’s a big star.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

9. How dare.

Now he shall never know.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

8. I don’t like that.

Separate beds, my friend.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

7. You can’t let the burritos get away.

That way lies madness.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

6. I think everyone can agree on that.

Sleepwalking takes it to the next level.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

5. It’s probably from Ikea.

We’ve all been there.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

4. Because the middle of the night needs more drama.

I would be so pissed.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

3. Inside jokes are the best.

As long as you’re not the butt of them.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

2. Not the words you want to hear in the middle of the night.

Or any time, honestly.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

1. She was just making sure.

So you wouldn’t miss your punishment.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

I’m both sorry and glad my partner doesn’t talk in his sleep, I think.

If yours does, share your stories with us in the comments!

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12 Times People Said Weird and Funny Things in Their Sleep

If there’s something we all want, it’s an interesting life. If you’re being woken in the middle of the night by a partner shouting nonsense, and they have no recollection of it in the morning, well…some days, that might be a bit too interesting.

For these 12 people, though, strangeness equaled hilarity, so I guess no harm, no foul.

12. Bless his heart.

That would be a bit disconcerting.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

11. So super awkward when you’re just dating.

How do you broach that subject?

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

10. You can never have too many parachutes.

Better safe than sorry.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

9. That’s kind of an existential question.

Are they dead or alive once they’re picked?

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

8. Yes, yes perfectly well.

How could they not?

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

7. How do you answer that question?

She probably just went back to sleep either way.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

6. That’s a story idea if I’ve ever heard one.

I hope he wrote it down.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

5. What a considerate spouse.

No one wants to miss the film!

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

4. She wasn’t going to argue with him like that.

I hope he came back to bed.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

3. That’s how you intimidate a tiger.

Maybe. I wouldn’t try it.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

2. What does he me no more bread?

I would have demanded an explanation.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

1. It’s the last one that gets you.

How many trousers does a man need?

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

I wouldn’t want to live with a sleep talker, but I guess you can’t kick someone out for a thing they have no control over, huh?

If you live the sleep talker life, share your best stories with us in the comments!

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Check Out These Outrageous Bits of Advice from Grandmas

I get kind of annoyed when people talk about the elderly like they’re shocked these folks have lived lives.

They’re not teddy bears, they’re not cartoon characters, they’re human beings with vastly more experience on this planet than the people patronizing them.

That said, I *do* understand why it can feel a little embarrassing/funny/I-don’t-know-what-to-do-with-this when, say, an older member of your family opens up to you about elements of their lives you hadn’t thought about…and maybe didn’t want to. Like this thread on Reddit revealed:

My grandma once chastised me for wearing underwear to bed because I need to "let my taco air out". What bizarre advice have you gotten from the older and wiser? from AskReddit

But this user wasn’t alone. There’s plenty of outrageous grandma advice to go around. Let’s hear some more.

1. When you got it, flaunt it.

My Grandma (a model during the depression era) use to tell me, “Be proud when you walk!

Throw those t*ts out!” When I would tell her I was only nine and I did not yet have t*ts, she would just say, “You guess where they are gonna be and throw that out!”

2. Secrets revealed.

So I am a DD while my mom is like a -A. Because my mom hates feeling left out, she has one of those pairs of rubber boobies you can put in your bra to make it look like you have mosquito bites. So one day, while were visiting my grandma, my mom’s getting dressed while she’s in the room. My grandma stares at my mom for a solid minute and then this happened:

in a thick German accent ” Mary! ”

” What? ”

” You have no teets! ”

” …. ”

I could not have laughed any louder.

– jennah101

3. The hero we need.

The job for my siblings and me every Christmastime was to help my grandma decorate her tree. For as long as I can remember, my grandma had a gold foil ornament on her Christmas tree. When I was probably about 11 or so, I got the nerve to ask her what it was, already kind of knowing. Sure enough, she calmly told me “oh, that’s a condom wrapper. I want all my kids to practice safe sex”.

Way to go Grandma with the Magnum.

But really- safe sex is awesome.

– megafart

4. Butter me up.

my grandma once told, while very drunk, if you don’t have lube on hand melted butter works just fine..

– scllfof4

5. Hate the game.

My grandma, whilst once discussing my new boyfriend, was asking why I was only dating one man. Her 87 year old advice to 23 year old me was That in her day she would line up multiple dates, with multiple men to try them out, and once you went on enough dates with one person, then you would go steady. That was the norm. I had to nicely explain to my super conservative irish catholic grandmother that that is what we so kindly refer to as a “player” nowadays. Her response:

“Well, I guess I was a player then.”

– scnavi

6. What a pitch.

My grandma warned me that boys “make a tent” in bed every morning. Thanks Gramma:/

– [user deleted]

7. Wait for it.

My grandma told me not to date girls from the south in college because they all wanted to get married too young…surprisingly good advice

– [user deleted]

8. Work it.

When I excitedly told my grandmother that the boy I liked was going to prom with me, she said “Don’t wear anything with zippers. Make him work for it.”

She was a spectacular woman.

– senatorkneehi

9. Remember this.

My gram gave me a diary when I went to college and said “write a lot, it’s the only way you will remember what happened in college”

Mildly accurate.

– RatApples

10. Mr. Fancy Pants.

I made a joke about anal sex and KY at my girlfriend’s house and her 70 year old grandmother tutted at me and advised me that in her day vaseline was good enough for anybody.

– cwstjnobbs

11. Love me everywhere.

My grandmother and I had a conversation as follows

Grandma: Hows armoredporpoise’s girlfriend in bed?

Me: Umm…

Grandma: Does she let you put it both holes? Your grandfather used to love me everywhere. If you can’t love her everywhere then you shouldnt love her anywhere.

– armoredporpoise

12. Do what you want.

“Slut? Honey, that’s just called doing what you want. And if you’re happy, who gives a d*mn?”

“Those b*tches be crazy!” said after nearly being clipped by a car full of college girls.

I love my grandma. She’s a teeny little old lady, aged 82 years, from Virginia.

– [user deleted]

13. Over/under.

My grandmother once told me “the best way to get over a man is to get under another.”

– not2old4ffvii

14. Stalling for time.

When I came out to my grandma, she smiled and told me not to have sex with dudes in restroom stalls. Thanks, Grandma!

– cromble

15. Too involved.

When I was 19 my (then) girlfriend went to Europe with me for the summer to visit my family. Now, my family is generally pretty cool with the whole sex thing. I always got a separate room for me and any girls I was seeing whenever I was staying/ visiting them, etc, etc. This was, however, the first time my grandmother was faced directly with this issue. Anyway, we arrive to the house late at night after a long-*ss flight, have a huge *ss dinner, and my girlfriend goes upstairs to our room to get ready for bed. I try to go up too, but my grandmother drags me aside and proceeds to give me the most awkward sex talk of my life.

Grandma: Have you two… had… intercourse yet?

Me: Well, we’ve been together for half a year now, so yeah

Grandma: Are you going to do it tonight?

Me: …What?

Grandma: Are you going to have intercourse tonight?

Me (starting to get creeped out): Probably not tonight…

Grandma: Do you use birth control?

Me: Yes, she’s on the pill

Grandma: That sounds sketchy, you should use condoms too

At this point I just want to get out of there, so I just agree with her hoping she’ll let me go

Me: Okay grandma, we’ll use condoms too. I’m gonna go up…

Grandma: Actually, maybe its better if you don’t finish inside her… Just cum outside! I can give you a rag!

Me: …upstairs

Grandma: Are you sure? I have lots of rags.

Me: GRANDMA NO

– not_vulva

Hey, there’s some solid advice in there!

What memorable bit of input have you gotten from your grandma?

Tell us in the comments.

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People Discuss the Most Hypocritical Things They’ve Ever Witnessed

There aren’t too many things in life that people as mad as hypocrisy…especially when it’s a real WHOPPER…

But if you spend enough time on this planet, you quickly realize that a lot of people out there are, unfortunately, big hypocrites.

I guess it’s just part of life and we have to deal with it…

AskReddit users talked about the most hypocritical things they’ve ever witnessed.

Let’s check out their responses.

1. Calling the kettle black.

“I was having a hard time getting a job after college.

My step grandmother called me every single name in the book. Every variation of “deadbeat dependent loser” you can possibly think of. Almost every singe time I saw her.

“No self discipline, no drive, too dependent on others. I cant believe you can’t get a job. I taught my daughters how to work. You’re definitely your mothers child. I had expectations for my own kids. All I knew is I had to work.”

This is the same person who never had a job in her life, wasn’t able to collect her own social security since she never paid into it, and was 100 percent dependent on my grandpa.

Way to call the kettle black. It got so bad, I had to stop talking to her all together since each convo would just be putting me down.”

2. Yikes. Sorry.

“My ex-wife, shortly after we separated, told me when/if I started seeing someone that she would want to meet them before our kids did. Which makes perfect sense.

Two months later the guy she had an affair with moved from NC to FL and in with her and my two kids. I still haven’t met him and it’s been six months.”

3. The rules don’t apply to me…

“My friends who b*tch about people who break lockdown, then go on to break lockdown for “sleepovers” and “girly nights” the same day they were criticising others.

Infuriatingly entitled.

“Others must follow the rules but they don’t apply to me”.”

4. Typical.

“When I was going through my college party phase I ended up hanging with kids who graduated from a local Christian school.

They drank, did drugs, and bragged about premarital s*x like a lot of college students.

When you talked about politics though, they immediately would go on and on about the moral failings of society and how it needs to be more Christian yadda yadda.”

5. Your dad sounds like a blast.

“Just my dad in general. Here’s some highlights.

As a child, he’d often tell me I had to think for myself, but then he’d beat me if I said things he disagreed with. Sometimes, he’d pose questions to me, and then hit me until I guessed the chain of logical jumps that led to the conclusion he was looking for.

He once went on a 4 hour rant about how my generation are all dirty communists and Muslims are all terrorists and a big gay conspiracy and other such nonsense. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, but he had the gall to end with “I’d be willing to change my mind if anybody were willing to have a discussion with me, but nobody’s willing to talk with me”.

In high school, he sometimes made fun of me for being a creature of habit. He’s had the same routine, worn identical oufits, and eaten the same lunch every day for the past 20+ years at least. I didn’t have much say in my routine back then anyway. School ate up most of my time, and it’s not like my parents allowed me to get together with my friends.

Similarly, he’d make fun of me for not having friends. I did have friends, but to him they didn’t count because he’d never met them, because he never allowed them to visit, because he’d never met them. He has one friend that he sees outside of work once a year, and often times not even that.”

6. Pretty bad.

“Televangelists preaching how we should live modestly while they own several private jets to fly around the country spreading the word of The Lord.

Sometimes they’ll come on TV saying God came to them in a dream saying they needed more.

Jesus would fly coach if he flew at all.

I believe Jesus also preached about taking in the displaced, etc?

In 2017 Joel Osteen was not allowing hurricane evacuees into his megachurch.”

7. Harrassment.

“I’ve been repeatedly s*xually harassed by a gay man before and have even had to make sure he didn’t find out where I lived so he couldn’t keep doing it. When I explained this one time to my co-workers one sneered and said I was just being homophobic and assuming it was harassment.

I said the man has repeatedly attempted to convince me to sleep with him despite my refusals, attempted to find my home, and once tried to trap me in a public restroom to make sure he couldn’t lose track of me. If I was a woman in this situation would my coworker even think of telling me that I was overreacting?

Fortunately the rest of my crew supported me and tell him it was hypocritical to assume s*xual harassment can only happen to women.”

8. Bad move.

“A girl who posted about how she doesn’t eat beef because she loves cows.

The next day she posted a photo of her new designer leather handbag.”

9. That’s bad.

“My dad hates illegal immigrants…

And he was once deported from the US from entering illegally as an immigrant.”

10. You’re right!

“People wearing Blue Lives Matter regalia beating police officers with an American flag.

That’s peak hypocrisy.”

11. Come on, people!

“My brother wouldn’t let his kids go to school because of covid, but they went to hockey practice and games.

All 3 of them got Covid.”

12. Point taken.

“People who get really upset about animal abuse and claim to be “animal lovers”…

And then go eat a double cheeseburger at McDonald’s.

Cognitive dissonance is alive and well.”

13. Always goes this way.

“My ex would get mad at me for having guy acquaintances – not even friends really, just from classes or work .

He policed my phone and my life and the f*cker was CHEATING on me.”

Kinda makes your blood boil, right?

And now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us about the most hypocritical thing you’ve ever seen. Thanks in advance!

The post People Discuss the Most Hypocritical Things They’ve Ever Witnessed appeared first on UberFacts.

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Folks Share the Most “Surprising” Advice They Got From Their Grandpa

I come from a pretty buttoned-up Midwestern family – we don’t talk openly about things like sex or…life, especially not with our grandparents.

But if Reddit is anything to go by, I’m practically alone in that. Look at this post:

My grandma once chastised me for wearing underwear to bed because I need to "let my taco air out". What bizarre advice have you gotten from the older and wiser? from AskReddit

To the delight and revulsion of all of us, there were thousands of replies in this thread. Here’s some input people received from their grandfathers in particular:

1. Amen.

My grandparents gave each of their grandkids money for college. Not a fortune, just a few hundred dollars a year to buy a couple books.

So I’m over my grandparents to get said money and my grandmother leaves the room to get her cheque book.

My grandfather motions me over and says, “Don’t make it with any Catholic girls because they don’t use birth control.” Nevermind the fact that we’re Catholic…

So my grandmother comes back and gives me a cheque and we talk and whatnot and as I go to leave, my grandfather yells out, “Get yourself some ‘jimmy-hats’ with that. F*ck I always hated those things, but these days they keep you from catching that AIDS.”

– Fuqwon

2. Bird is the word.

“If your bird touches the urinal, it will fall off.” -my grandfather

It took a while to shake the anxiety from peeing.

– [user deleted]

3.  Check out that username.

My entire family (50+ people) gathered for my Grandparent’s anniversary, as we knew my Grandma would not be with us much longer.

My Aunt asked my Grandpa the secret to their almost 60 year marriage.

The crowd of divorced and remarried and divorced and remarried hooligans hushed to hear his words. “Eat fish. And f*ck 5 times a week.”

My Grandma, barely awake due to the morphine, patted her husbands hand lovingly, nodded and gave me the last big grin I saw from her. She was gone a week later.

– Fish-x-5

4. Vroom vroom.

My grandfather once told me how to have sex on a motorcycle.

Awkward silence followed.

– ethnicallyambiguous

5. Them’s fightin’ words.

Always assume anyone who punches you has the will to kill you. Act accordingly and always treat a fight like its for your life. -Grandpa

– kegman83

6. Watch out.

My husband’s grandfather told us to never befriend any couples, because one wife will run off with the other husband and leave the other two sad and lonely.

We live with married housemates, I wonder what he thinks about us now…

– charcoal_feather

7. Um. Yes. Yes, I do.

Told my Grandfather that my wife was Pregnant again, a pause, a chuckle, “You know what causes that right? wink”

– zerbey

8. Cat got your tongue?

My grandfather is a very straight-laced individual. Was in the Navy in World War 2, raised a family of 7 kids, and in every other respect is just an older, Catholic Hank Hill minus the alcohol.

I was at his house helping him with a computer or something one day and his cat went up to its food bowl and started eating. My grandfather grabbed the cat’s tail and lifted its rear end a few inches off of the ground. The cat responded with a little meow/purr thing, a generally happy sounding noise. My grandfather turned to me slowly and said, “He likes it when I do that. I think it gives him some sort of…sexual thrill.”

Not sure if there’s any advice in there but it was pretty bizarre.

– mmmbacon914

9. Everything in moderation.

“Martinis are like t*ts. One isn’t enough and three is too many.” -grandpa b

– Dermisgermis

10. Light ’em up.

“A cigarette’s got fire on one end and a fool on the other.” –my grandpa when I was like 12

– Jim_Gaffigans_bacon

11. Wingman?

when i was in middle school, my grandfather told me, “get as much p*ssy as you can, as often as you can, for as long as you can. when you get to be my age, pretty girls ain’t nothin’ but eye candy.”

when i was a freshman in high school, he was visiting. my girlfriend was over, and my mom went to the store. she asked my grandfather to keep an eye on us, and informed him of the “open door” rule (about leaving my bedroom door open while she was over). he said, “what the h*ll? are you trying to raise an exhibitionist?” when my mom left, he called me downstairs and told me, “what the h*ll are you doin’ down here? get your *ss back up there and f*ck that little girl while you have the privacy to do it. who knows how long ’til your mother comes back?”

– yetzer_hara

12. Um…

Grandpas word of advice for me when I started dating a vegetarian “don’t let her lie to you, they may say they’re a vegetarian but at some point in their lives, all of them have meat In their mouths”

– neyxport

13. Gross.

Never tell your girlfriend/wife that she’s attractive. One day she’ll build up enough confidence to cheat on you with someone better looking.

Edit: For clarification; my recently divorced grandfather told me this. I don’t agree with it whatsoever.

– BroDontPokeThatBear

14. No use crying over it?

i was playing with flashlights at my grandfathers and he told me, ” stop spilling my milk.” he iterated further by saying, ” batteries are like milk. if you waste all your milk now you wont have any left for cereal later.”

– [user deleted]

15. Eternal mysteries.

My grandfather who died when I was four used to always walk tell people (including me) “Wet birds don’t fly at night.”

I still don’t know what the f*ck it means…

– OleToothless

I remember my grandpa once told me his mustache had special feelers. Not sure what that meant. Maybe I don’t want to know?

What’s a memorable bit of advice you’ve gotten from your grandpa?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Folks Share the Most “Surprising” Advice They Got From Their Grandpa appeared first on UberFacts.

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What Extra Rules Did Your Family Add to Board Games and Card Games? Here’s What People Said.

Playing games with my family is like wandering into a snake pit. It’s every man or woman for themselves and things get UGLY…

And most of it seems to happen because people are constantly making up or revising the rules as the game progresses. It’s not a pretty scene, people…

But I guess I’m not alone, because all kinds of other people have extra rules for board games and card games.

Let’s see what folks on AskReddit had to say about this.

1. A total scammer.

“In Monopoly, we have a rule that my sister can’t be the banker.

Otherwise, it’s like watching Oceans 11.”

2. Improvising.

“My grandmother was deaf/mute so when we played Uno instead of saying “Uno” we knocked on the table quickly twice.”

3. Taboo.

“Taboo.

You can play 3 player (cutthroat) Taboo. The rules don’t really change but the scoring does. There’s a Ref (watching for taboo words), Guesser (can’t see the card) & Talker (can see the card)

The guesser and talker will get 1 point each for each successful guessed word. Taboo words are scored 1 point to the Ref.

At the end of the round, roles rotate like normal (clockwise). After everyone has two turns “talking”, rotate the the other way (counterclockwise). This lets everyone get a turn guessing and talking with each person.

I prefer this way because you don’t get stuck on a winning, or losing team. Everyone plays with everyone. and there’s never a 4th person out.”

4. The game of world domination.

“We had a variation on Risk where everyone write down their moves and attacks and all the moves and attacks were carried out simultaneously.

First the troops were relocated (only able to move one country). Then attacks rolled (once again, you could only attack a neighboring country and if you won, you could occupy it. But you could not keep pressing the attack until the next turn.

If 2 or more countries were attacking each other, they all rolled the max number of dice. Ties were then rerolled.”

5. Good idea.

“In Scrabble, the person who can make the longest word goes first, highest points breaks a tie.

This makes the game more fun by ensuring there are lots of places to play your letters.”

6. New rule.

“In every coop game (Pandemic, Castle Panic, whatever), there is usually someone who tries to tell everyone what to do.

I can accidentally be this person. So, I implemented the “right hand man” rule. IF the person whose turn it is want advice (IF), they can only get it from the person on their right.

Nobody else can say anything. Makes things way more enjoyable.”

7. This is good.

“Rule for my kids with all board games.

Winner cleans up, loser or lowest score picks next game, tantrums/rage quitting gets you banned from the next game session all together.”

8. Never heard of this game.

“Waddingtons Go (a game of traveling around the world).

Rule in the actual game was you had to roll exact to get into a place, but it ended up with too many dice rolls doing absolutely nothing. One player ended up just stuck in one place for literally half an hour, before then getting somewhere else and then being stuck for another half an hour. They did virtually nothing all game. (Really, that rule means the game should be called Waddingtons Stop.)

To combat this, we came up with a house rule that you have a “3 strikes and in” – if you fail to get the right number 3 times, you automatically get to your destination, to stop the game being dull.

We haven’t actually tried this yet because since playing it (when at the end of the game we came up with the rule) we’ve had a pandemic that has prevented me from going back to visit my parents who have the game…”

9. Hurry up!

“One rule used for many board games: If someone takes too long with his/her move, anyone can fetch the 3-min hourglass from the shelf and set it on the table. once the time runs out, the move is over, regardless of.

Another rule for Scrabble: Any word is valid if you can find it in any book in our library within three minutes.”

10. Time for some Trouble.

“Trouble is a fun little game.

Unfortunately, with the wife and son, we only have three players. Four players makes it even more fun, so we have a fourth player we call “Bob.” Bob gets the last turn in the cycle. Someone rolls for Bob, and then the three of us agree on what Bob’s best move is.

It’s especially fun when you have to agree that Bob’s best move is to take out one of your own pieces.”

11. Haha, that’s good.

“My uncle told me stories about how whenever he played Monopoly at a friend’s house, he would always bring a few $500 bills from his own set and use them.

He never let them win.”

12. This is pretty in-depth.

“In Clue, once the killer has been discovered, and it’s one of the pieces in play, the game becomes a chase.

The remaining player turns are rolls to get out of the mansion through the doors in the Hall. The killer tries to catch the remaining pieces and kill them. Secret passages only work if you roll even numbers in that room.

The killer rolls twice per turn and cannot use secret passages.

Edit: If the killer wasn’t one of the played pieces, then the game is over—they couldn’t defend themselves and surrendered after being discovered.

The killer kills other players by landing on the same space as them between rooms, or by rolling a higher number than them in the same room. If there are two players in a room with the killer, Killer must announce who they’re going after. After one attack, killer’s turn is over.

Players must escape by leaving the hall through the doors. Entering the hall is one move. Leaving the hall is another. You should try to have at least one more move upon entering the Hall to get out safely. If rolling a 3 would get you into the Hall, a 4+ would get you out.

If no players make it out alive, the killer wins, stacks the bodies in the cellar, locks it, and pretends that none of this has ever happened.

Extra fun: at the start of the game, before dealing to players, place an evidence card face down in each room. When you enter the room, you can look at the card and place it back face down. You’re sleuthing, after all. If all players have seen the card, you may turn it face-up.”

Did your family ever have any unusual rules for games?

If so, tell us about them in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear them!

The post What Extra Rules Did Your Family Add to Board Games and Card Games? Here’s What People Said. appeared first on UberFacts.