12 Redditors Share the Most Ridiculous Things They’ve Seen Men Do to Defend Their Masculinity

The definition of “manly” is changing. In this day and age, it’s becoming more and more acceptable for men to be and feel how they want – even in public and even if it’s not “masculine.” Unfortunately, some people just aren’t on board.

Like these 12 men, who went to extreme lengths to remind everyone around they were, indeed, male.

 

#12. His girlfriend screaming at him to stop.

“A few weeks ago my wife and I visited a friend in another country. We got to know her boyfriend, who was a bit… special. He teased her relentlessly, all the time, and could not take any criticism at all.

Once, we were arriving back at the house (by car, he was driving), when she jokingly told him “I drive way better than you!”, referring to the narrow alleyways in their town and how she has no issues parking in tiny spots.

Apparently, he saw that as an offense to his manlihood which he just could not let slide in front of his girlfriend and us, two almost complete strangers in the back seat. He started accelerating like a maniac, going about 80 kilometers an hour in an old European town in the mountains (where you don’t see any cars coming and the roads are really narrow), his girlfriend screaming at him to stop. He did this for about two streets before he turned around and drove back.”

#11. We don’t invite him for drinks.

“I work with an insane over the top alpha ego fuck boy. We all go out for drinks one night and he literally tells me I should go fight a random stranger in the bar because we have a similar hair cut. Obviously I think he’s joking cause that’s fucking ridiculous. But no, he’s dead serious and goes onto to call me fucking pussy and says how soft I am. Goes on to tell me about all the bar fights he has been in. Needless to say, we don’t invite him for drinks anymore.”

#10. Chill out, dude

“My dad will not tolerate being served food that was set to look “pretty”. Once he ordered a dish with coconut shrimp, and when it came out its presentation looked very cute and my dad immediately recoiled in disgust and said ” This isn’t what I ordered, take it back!”

We were all confused because he had in fact ordered it and the waitress was just beside herself. My dad then said, “It’s too feminine ”

The waitress ended up taking the plate back and they rearranged the shrimp as to not offend my dad as if he were a picky two-year-old.”

#9. I didn’t even know that was a thing.

“It was raining and I offered a guy my umbrella and he refused, saying they were for just for women.

I didn’t even know that was a thing.”

#8. What girls should expect.

“Some years back I had a guy block me on FB and stop talking to me at work because I posted a pic of me in make-up that my daughter did and then a second pic of me in a sarong with same make up.

She was 10 and wanted a model to work on. It was hilarious fun and it will be a long lived great memory of me and my little girl having a good laugh.

Apparently he was talking behind my back about me being gay and I was teaching my daughter the wrong things about what ‘being a man’ meant and what girls should expect. The other blokes are as crazy as me and didn’t think much of him.

He even went as far as telling the SO he did not think I was the right person to be working and sleeping at the station with other men. (I’m a Fire fighter)

This is a guy who was divorced twice and estranged from his kids. Has at least one violence order against him that I’ve since learnt about.

He was a shit worker and only lasted 8months.”

#7. She had to text my sister.

“Stepbrother is the type of guy that refuses to hold his girlfriends purse. Once at a small family dinner she went to the bathroom, after a minute she must have texted him and he goes to check on her, they quietly argued a little and were clearly mad but trying to hide it the whole night after. Turns out she needed a tampon from her purse and he wouldn’t even bring the purse too her, she had to text my sister to bring it to her.”

#6. I would have felt worse if…

“A guy tried to immasculate me in my weightlifting class, the problem being he had never lifted in his life. It should be noted that this was guy was a one-upper to a T. If anyone had a talent or had anything remotely interesting to say, he was there to out-do them.

I was showing him how to do bench press and I was doing 155, which is my max. Not a lot of weight, but again, it’s a lot when you’ve never lifted. He proceeded to attempt the weight I was doing while I was at the water fountain. Unfortunately I couldn’t get there before he gave himself a hairline fracture in his sternum.

I would have felt worse for him if he wasn’t such a dickhead.”

#5. So fragile.

“My brother won’t eat foods that resemble semen. No mayonnaise, no yogurt or sour cream, nothing. He won’t even eat the melted frosting on a cinnabon. Masculinity so fragile.”

#4. No water ever.

“Refuse to drink water. Ever.”

#3. That didn’t fly.

“Two male classmates and I were on a fieldtrip and got caught in the rain. I had a raincoat, and Guy1 had an umbrella. He offered to share it with the Guy2, who had no rain gear. Guy2 insisted it was gay to share an umbrella with another man. He would only use the umbrella if he carried it, while I walked under it with him and Guy1 borrowed my raincoat. This didn’t fly because

A. I wasn’t about to give up my raincoat for the paltry protection lent by huddling under an umbrella, and

B. Guy1 would not have fit my raincoat.

So Guy2 got soaked.”

#2. Refused to be paired.

“At a school dance it was cheaper to get in if you were a couple, I can’t remember exactly how much it was probly 10 or 20 bucks cheaper. The teacher at the door was cool so even if you came with your group of guy friends he would just pair you off and charge you the cheaper price. These two jock type guys refused to be paired together and demanded they each pay thier separate entrance fee.”

#1. No other pen.

“I used to work at a bakery where each clerk had to bring their own pens to have customers sign receipts with (if they paid with a card). I had a pink pen with a little duck on top and one day a customer refused to sign with it. He got really mad that I didn’t have another pen and walked out to his car to find a pen that wasn’t “girly”.”

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These 10 Tips Will Get You Through a Day in High Heels

It’s no coincidence that the words ‘heel’ and ‘hell’ are so similar (ok, fine, it was probably a linguistic accident – whatevs). Even the cutest pair of high heels can wreak havoc on your feet. And if your line of work requires them on a daily basis? Well, then, you definitely need to employ these hacks to get through your day.

And if you’re just dreading donning a pair for a weekend wedding, these will help you, too.

 

#10. Put your shoes in the freezer.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

For added comfort, stuff them with a bag of cold water first, but either way, leave them for at least 30 minutes. The cold material will adapt to your warm foot instead of the other way around.

#9. Tape your toes together.

Photo Credit: Brightside

Specifically, your third and fourth toe, where nerve pressure can build up and cause pain.

#8. Break them in.

Photo Credit: Depositphotos

Wear cotton socks dipped in hot water to break in your shoes around the house. It will help them stretch a little and not be so stiff when you step out.

#7. Don’t take them off.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

If your day isn’t over, don’t give in to the temptation of a five minute break. Your feet will most likely swell within minutes, making putting them back on a painful – or even impossible – task.

#6. Grab some double-sided tape.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Use it to stick your foot to the bottom of the shoe, making sure that your foot doesn’t do the slipping and sliding that can cause blisters and toe pain.

#5. Have your deodorant do double duty.

Photo Credit: Brightside

You can roll it on to your heels, toes, or anywhere else you experience painful chafing during the day.

#4. Invest in insoles.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

If you’re going to be wearing heels on a regular basis, investing in keeping your feet healthy is the way to go. These little socks, typically made from silicone or fabric, provide much-needed support and protection.

#3. Move around.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

If your feet are killing you, get up and walk. You can also sit down, but standing still in your heels is almost as bad as taking them off.

#2. Keep emergency supplies in your purse.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Bandaids, roll-on chafing blockers, liquid bandage, mole-skin, or even an extra pair of insoles – there will come a day when you’re not sorry you have them along.

#1. Use hydrating cream.

Photo Credit: Depositphotos

If you lather up before putting your heels on, it can help save your feet from rubbing, pain, and blisters, especially if your heels are new and still stiff.

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#IfYouStopAndThinkAboutIt Is Here and It’ll Really Get You Thinking

We accept a lot of things in this life without really pausing to think about them – for example, yes…Dorothy Gale killed two women because a perfect stranger told her not to give up her shoes. That’s just one example of the deep thoughts pouring out of the #IfYouStopAndThinkAboutIt tag on Twitter, and trust me…at least some of these are totally going to blow your mind.

#10. Worst couple name ever. Either way.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#9. Everyone is a hero in their own story.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#8. Now you know why you love it.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#7. Where do you think scifi movies get their ideas?

Photo Credit: Pixabay

#6. Hubba hubba.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#5. Maybe more, if you consider all the Chandler Bing’s out there.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#4. True facts.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

#3. But seriously why?

Photo Credit: Twitter

#2. A figure of speech.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#1. Double duty.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

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15 Hilarious Stock Photos of People’s Jobs That Are Too Funny Not to Share

Stock photos are all around us. They’re used in textbooks, advertisements, and boring slideshows at work. Is it just me, or is everything in a stock photo just a little bit off? According to these 15 people, I’m not alone in thinking this.

These 15 people went looking for stock photos with realistic depictions of the jobs they do every day and found…these.

 

#15. That pirate life.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#14. Normal browsing attire.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#13. Wildlifes.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#12. Where is space?

Photo Credit: Twitter

#11. Nailed the posture, anyway.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#10. Heart and lungs are for losers.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#9. Not creepy at all.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#8. Moody staring ftw.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#7. If my doctor held my face like that I would call the police.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#6. Truth.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#5. Much rejoicing.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#4. Feel the code.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#3. The struggle is real.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#2. Can confirm.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#1. Hypothesis supported.

Photo Credit: Twitter

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Memes You Need to See If You’re Attending a Wedding This Summer

It’s time for drunken drama, family fights, oh, and love, too, lots of love. That means it’s summer wedding season.

Here’s to all the folks getting hitched this summer, and to all the guests: may they have a great time. Check out these memes to get prepared for the big day.

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Texts from People Who Should Quit While They’re Ahead

A lesson every person needs to learn and sometimes people learn the hard way: Quit while you’re ahead!

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Flat-Earthers Are Left Speechless by Neil deGrasse Tyson’s Brilliant Tweet

Whether we like it or not, the ‘Flat Earth Movement’ is a real thing. No… we’re serious. Not surprisingly, the strongest support for it is in the United States. Search for it on YouTube and you’ll find thousands, if not millions, of relevant videos made by conspiracy theorists claiming everything from the ‘Biblical firmament’ referenced in the Book of Genesis, to claims about the horizon, sunrises, etc. There is even a guy planning to launch himself into space to prove the theory true.

And then there’s Neil deGrasse Tyson:

Photo Credit: Twitter

So, let’s all hold our breath together and see how well this rocket launch goes.

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Abraham Lincoln Was a Complete Troll and These 6 Stories Prove It

Abraham Lincoln is one of the most iconic presidents in American history. Everyone knows his greatest hits – freeing the slaves, winning the Civil War, creating the US Banking System, etc. What I bet you didn’t know is that President Lincoln…was a MASTERFUL troll. Like…of epic proportion. Check out these 6 amazing stories of Lincoln trolling the mess out of people.

6. He started the Emancipation Proclamation with…a joke

The Emancipation Proclamation. One of the most famous speeches/documents in American history. Freeing the slaves. A step toward equality. Apparently, Lincoln drafted the Proclamation himself and told his Cabinet as an afterthought that he planned to deliver it as a speech. Whoops.

Anyhoo, he kicked it off with a terrible joke that has no 21st century relevance. He only got a chuckle or two from the crowd, so he shouted “Gentlemen, why don’t you laugh? Without the fearful strain that is upon me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die, and you need this medicine as much as I do.” Then he delivered the Emancipation Proclamation.

Photo Credit: Facebook

5. He loved poop jokes

And so do I – but I’m not a president. I do find something about this very endearing, though. His favorite subject for poop jokes was George Washington. Another joke Lincoln liked was a story about a Revolutionary War hero, Ethan Allen, who visited England after the war. His hosts were trying to upset him by mocking George Washington, so they put a framed portrait of the hero in the most disrespectful placethey could think of: above the shitter. When they asked Allen what he thought about the photo, he responded, “Nothing will make an Englishman shit so quick as the sight of General Washington.”

The story may or may not be true, but Lincoln was a fan nonetheless.

Photo Credit: Facebook

4. He baited a bunch of kids into starting a house fire…just for giggles.

Abraham Lincoln did a lot of off-the-wall type stuff, as president and before. For example, while traveling for work as a lawyer, he once joined an impromptu axe-throwing contest…cuz why not? The best story, though, was when he convinced a group of kids to start a fire.

While staying at a hotel, Lincoln convinced some kids to throw an inflated pig bladder (basically a balloon) into the fireplace. Historians have no freaking clue why he did this other than to just get some damn jollies. The kids’ motivation, however, makes complete sense: When an adult (Abraham Lincoln, no less) asks you to set shit on fire, you follow orders.

The balloon exploded and shot sparks every which direction, which in turn caught the room on fire. Lincoln frantically tried to put the fire out with a broom…and it also caught fire. He barely managed to keep the entire hotel from burning down.

Photo Credit: Flickr

3. He got accidentally engaged…and then completely BS’d his way out of it.

As the story goes, in 1836, Lincoln was being hounded by a woman who wanted him to marry her sister, Mary Owens. He had no interest and thought the woman was boring and crazy…so imagine the sister, am I right? Well, in a last ditch effort, she said she would go home to Kentucky and bring her sister back with her to Illinois if he agreed to marry her. His response was basically a ‘Yeah, sure, whatever. Like that’ll happen.” A few months later…TADA! The woman shows up at Lincoln’s house thinking they’re engaged.

Mary Owens  
Photo Credit: Library of Congress

Lincoln didn’t want to be THAT guy and break off this (imaginary) engagement, so he started masterfully messing with her, sending her letters talking about how rich everyone was in Springfield, and how she couldn’t handle being so poor in such a wealthy place. When that didn’t work, he started telling her that she must be joking about marrying him because how could she ever want such a lowly and worthless guy. Either she believed him or saw through his game and thought he was a total dick. In either case, it worked, and Lincoln was off the hook.

2. He once publicly bullied a political opponent until he burst into tears

Lincoln must’ve been one hell of a charming dude because he openly mocked a political opponent on stage, in public, and still came out of it looking like the good guy. When he was in the House of Representatives, he was running against Jesse B. Thomas. Thomas went first, lambasting Lincoln and his allies. Rather than respond with arguments, Lincoln openly mocked Thomas; he made fun his voice, his appearance, and even how he walked. The crowd went nuts and applauded and cheered uproariously. By rule, Thomas had to sit there and silently take it. The mocking went on until Thomas burst into tears. And…well…there’s no coming back from that.

For what it’s worth, Lincoln later tracked him down and apologized. But I’m sure the salt levels were high, as Thomas had to watch Lincoln go on to become President of the United States.

The Bullied – Jesse B. Thomas 
Photo Credit: Wikimedia

And the Pièce de Résistance…

1. Lincoln once won a debate…just by ripping open his opponent’s shirt

Lincoln was a master debater, capable of taking down anyone point for point…execution style. I mean, there is an entire style of debate named after him. But sometimes words aren’t even necessary. Early in his career, Lincoln was debating Democrat Colonel Edward Dick Taylor. Taylor was known for tearing apart Lincoln and the Whig party for their spending and perceived elitism. Well…Taylor went first in the debate, and just as he was beginning his speech about Lincoln and the “rich big Whigs,” Lincoln walked right up to him and ripped open his shirt, revealing a fancy ruffled shirt, a giant gold chain, seals, and tons of other bling. The crowd went nuts. Lincoln bowed and left the stage, having won the debate.

The Shirtless – Colonel Edmund Dick Taylor Photo Credit: Wikimedia

Lincoln is a widely revered President and historical figure…and a freaking troll. Well played, Mr. President. Well played.

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The Unluckiest Person on the Internet Might Be This Redditor

Embarrassing moments, we’ve all had our share of them. In fact, just this morning, I completed an entire breakfast order at my neighborhood deli before realizing my fly was unzipped the entire time.

That was indeed humiliating, however, it’s got absolutely nothing on Redditor TheFlyingPigSquadron‘s hilarious series of mishaps that started with a routine shampooing in the shower and ended with her in the ER. After reading her whole story, I can’t help but wonder if she walked under a ladder on her way to the shower

Redditor TheFlyingPigSquadron shared her recent tragic (but hilarious) shower incident online, and it quickly went viral.

As if that wasn’t enough, the story actually continues…

Thankfully, her doctors are wiser than she is and took precautions to help her avoid any more accidents. It’s the kind of thing you need to do when your patient just can’t seem to avoid getting in trouble.

Apparently, this is somewhat of a lifestyle for the young lady in question. The internet demanded more stories about her misfortunes, and she delivered.

Thank you, TheFlyingPigSquadron, for those glorious tales of misfortune. Also, take care of yourself…

If you enjoyed this hilarious story, check out:

17+ Pranks That Went Horribly, Hilariously Awry

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20 Chrissy Teigen Pregnancy Tweets That Are Honest and Relatable

Chrissy Teigen has over 10 million followers, and for good reason.

She’s funny, blunt, and refreshingly honest. Especially when it comes to her personal life. Here are 20 brutally honest tweets about pregnancy that Teigen was nice enough to share.

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