Only Rich People Have These 15 Problems

We’ve all got problems, they just get different with the more money you have. Below are 15 problems that might not look like problems if you aren’t swimming in your dough like Scrooge McDuck.

But hey. We’ve all got our crosses to bear.

#15. Too many.

“Too many bottles of this wine we can’t pronounce Too many bowls of that green, no Lucky Charms The maids come around too much Parents ain’t around enough Too many joy rides in daddy’s Jaguar Too many white lies and white lines Super rich kids with nothing but loose ends Super rich kids with nothing but fake friends.”

#14. Never knowing.

“Never knowing if others are “just in it for the money””

#13. Devastating personal cost.

“They have to, likely at devastating personal cost, donate to and help elect the most corrupt people on the planet. Otherwise, they might end up with a pol who makes them not pollute or sell stuff that is safe.”

#12. Somehow compensates.

“1.) You will never know who is in your life for you, and who is in your life because you have money, including your significant other. There will always be a nagging doubt.

2.) Many people hate you because you’re rich, and that hurts.

3.) Many people discount your very real problems, anxieties, depression, etc because they think having lots of money somehow makes you immune to them, or somehow compensates.

4.) People don’t respect your things, because “you can just buy another one”. This happens with all sorts of “hangers-on”.

5.) People expect you to pay for their shit, when they’ve no right to expect that at all. Go hang out with a group some night, and yeah, you’ll be footing the bill.

6.) People automatically assume your life is perfect and cannot imagine that you could ever have problems or pressures just like they do.

7.) You walk around insanely conscious of how you’re coming across, all the time. If you do one thing even slightly wrong, no one considers that it might be out of social awkwardness, but instead they chock it up to you being a “rich asshole.” This goes hand-in-hand with being very careful to not drive too nice a car, or show off your cool stuff. Have a sweet boat? People think that’s cool. Be rich and have a sweet boat? You’re a rich, flashy asshole showing off.

8.) You’re probably rich because you’re a workaholic and struggle with work/life balance.

None of this is meant to make it sound like rich folk have it bad, necessarily, but having money can’t solve everything.”

#11. FFS.

“Gold sprinkles all over you food ffs.”

#10. Not enough arms.

“Not enough arms to carry all their hundred dollar bills.”

#9. Experience.

“Based on my own experience:

Ensuring that what you have is “working hard” enough. Is this investment worth it? Should I stay in for the long haul/ride it out, or jump to something potentially better?
Hiding your wealth from friends and family, who may become resentful at your success our your perceived lack of charity. The people in my life know I’m financially comfortable, but if they knew the whole truth, it could get very uncomfortable.
Fishing out scams from people who present you with investment opportunities.”

#8. Unions and stuff.

“Tfw your wage slaves start to unionize so you export their jobs to starving children in Cambodia.”

#7. It blends with the cabinets.

“Finding the fridge while wasted bc it blends with the cabinets.”

#6. Your depression.

“Feeling like your depression isn’t justified.”

#5. Them for them.

“They never know if someone really loves them for them.”

#4. Resentful people.

“Resentful people when they show off their wealth. It’s no joke, a friend took me for a ride in his Lamborghini, people at stop lights and on the street were insulting him for no reason. They were calling him a capitalist pig, chanting to crash, one of them said he was the problem with the country. He says things like that happen every time he goes downtown and he’s used to it.”

#3. It’s a real problem.

“Where to hide the dead bodies.”

#2. Social stress.

“So I don’t consider myself “rich” but my wife and I both are within the 95th percentile of income in the US. I grew up poor by middle class standards. Our rent was a week or more late, lived off white bread and peanut butter, I wore my dad’s old shirts to school, and my brother would wear the ones I didn’t.

One major thing I noticed was that as the stress of not paying your bills went away, social stress replaced it. all the politics in middle and high school it get worse as your wealth increases. People buck for different types of leverage in different ways for different motivations.”

#1. They still aren’t happy.

“Why they still aren’t happy.”

*wipes tear*

The post Only Rich People Have These 15 Problems appeared first on UberFacts.

These 15+ Tweets Are Extremely Accurate

We could all use a little truth in our lives, so look no further than these tweets to give it to you.

Check out our list of the 18 most accurate tweets that have ever graced our screens.

1.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @eilidhwill

2.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @RockyTopKeith

3.

4.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @kamilumin

5.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @adamkotsko

6.

7.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @marcus_sullivan

8.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @itspaigealena

9.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @MaghanCooley

10.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @biggucciash

11.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @samlymatters

12.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @abblucia

13.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @pupperonis

14.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @robfee

15.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @jsreinecker

16.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @kevinseccia

17.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @adamhess1

18.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @britbennett

True ‘dat.

The post These 15+ Tweets Are Extremely Accurate appeared first on UberFacts.

These 9+ Strange Stories Could Only Come from Movie Theater Employees

No child dreams of being a movie theater employee when they grow up. Well, maybe some avid cinephiles do, but for the rest of us it’s just a job with as much crap to deal with as any other job.

But hey, there are some perks like free movies, candy, soda, and popcorn.

But sometimes things go wrong. So wrong. Below are ten instances where free movies are just not worth the bullsh*t.

1. Well, this is just terrible

Photo Credit: Reddit

2. Explaining how tickets are sold

How is this so hard to understand?

Photo Credit: Reddit

3. “Pardon me, do you have a lost and found?”

I seem to have misplaced-

Photo Credit: Tickld

4. “Also, I may have left behind-“

Photo Credit: Reddit

5. The high price of quality entertainment

“Someone asked me recently how I sleep at night, charging people so much. Yeah, I sleep on a giant pile of money that I get for being an assistant manager at a movie theater.”

Photo Credit: Pexels

6. You will not be refunded because your baby did not enjoy the movie

Photo Credit: People

7. Not as bad

Photo Credit: Reddit

8. That time that lady was doing the menage a moi

A 33-year old woman in Sinaloa, Mexico, took a seat in the 12th row during a special screening of Fifty Shades of Grey, and started doing a little, ahem, knitting. She was arrested. Oh, and handcuffed. Yay!

Photo Credit: Focus Features

9. Sometimes people bring a date

Photo Credit: Reddit

10. But the body fluids don’t end there

Other items that movie theater employees have found (and are expected to clean up):

Photo Credit: Reddit

If you have an iron stomach, don’t mind poo and have unlimited patience, then working in a movie theater is the right job for  you. Otherwise, consider debt collecting or telemarketing. Something with a little more dignity.

The post These 9+ Strange Stories Could Only Come from Movie Theater Employees appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Dish on the Worst Teacher They Ever Had

Students remember their teachers. Whether they were the good ones who encouraged us and pushed us to be the best we could be, or the bad ones who made class something we dreaded. These 15 people have, uh, different sorts of memories when it comes to school, and their experiences will likely make you appreciate the excellent educators in your life even more.

#15. Her ridiculous rule.

“My 1st grade teacher was a miserable woman. Her classroom used to be an administrative office or something, so it had a restroom inside of it, but she would punish any kid who had to use it when it wasn’t “bathroom break time” by keeping you in over a recess.

Needless to say, there were several kids (including me) who had accidents because we were afraid to ask to use the bathroom unless it was a scheduled break. If I remember correctly several parents got the truth out of their kids as to why they were peeing themselves and they went to the principal and forced her to change her ridiculous rule.”

#14. A year or two from retirement.

“8th grade Social Studies teacher. She was probably a year or two from retirement and was either going senile or had just stopped giving a shit.

She sent me to the principals office for “disrespect” when I corrected her after she said that Argentina was a country in eastern Europe. Apparently telling her that half my family was from there and having lived there for 6 years I was 100% sure it was in South America was disrespectful.

She took marks off a report I wrote for “racism” because I wrote that Mandela was one of the most influential black leaders in modern history. On the side she wrote that the correct term was “African American”. I got given detention for arguing that Mandela was in no way American.

First essay of the year she gave me a 0 because I wrote using British English (colour, socialise, etc). My mum’s Scottish and an English Lit teacher so she’d taught me grammar that way from an early age. That one I actually complained about to another teacher and he was able to help me get the grade corrected. I wrote in British grammar for the rest of the year just to annoy her.”

#13. Flatly refused.

“I transferred from a UK to a US college, and was struggling in a journalism course as the practices are wildly different in the 2 countries.

As a result, I was struggling to keep up and after exhausting all other avenues, I decided to speak to the teacher (who was generally a very ‘unapproachable’ person, otherwise I’d obviously see him first)

After yet another video/auto presentation lesson I asked him if I could have some extra time, other reading sources or attention for an upcoming midterm. To which he replied “You should have known this before you got here”, giving me no help at all and flatly refused after I repeated my question (at first, I thought he may have misheard me).

Made a complaint to the school, where nothing was done, while I scraped by that lesson by the skin of my teeth.

I did hear that he was fired about 6 months later, after I’d followed up on my complaint (I was already back home by this point).

Apparently I was not the only one to take formal steps against his complete apathy towards his job.”

#12. She still teaches to this day.

“I don’t know if she was the worst, but I had a prof in university that I just loathed. She always taught as if everything she said was fact, and when I asked questions about things that didn’t make sense she’d get frustrated with me for not understanding her fucked up way of explaining things.

She gave ridiculously hard tests that were so terribly designed that you’d have to analyze each question for 5 minutes to get what she was trying to say, then you’d still get it wrong.

All assignment rubrics were purposefully vague (even when you’d ask for clarification) so she could take marks off for anything and try to justify it. She once took like 15% off a paper because it wasn’t formatted correctly (12 point times new roman) because I had used ariel font, even though she hadn’t laid out what formatting she wanted in the assignment, and didn’t mention it when I asked her what format she wanted.

I was a straight A student and barely passed that class, and had to explain the situation to the head of my department so that they knew it wasn’t my fault and I wouldn’t have to re-take it. As far as I know she never got in trouble, and she still teaches to this day.”

#11. I think he wins.

“I had a science teacher in high school get arrested in the middle of teaching a class for molesting his daughter. I think he wins the “shitty teacher award”.”

#10. He was ostracized.

“My sister died two days before a final. He refused to re-schedule my test. The other professors who did called him out on it and he was ostracized for being a dickhead.

He left a year later.”

#9. Completely lost his cool.

“Film professor in college. We had to produce a garbage mini series that was a blatant rip off of Heroes. Everyone got an opportunity to direct and edit their episode, and everyone knew how bad the script was. My peer had a scene with a ghost like entity talking to the actors…. he puts in the Pokémon Gastly (as a joke). Everyone laughs a bit, and I’m trying to contain myself. The professor sees this as a blatant sign of disrespect and decides to make me the example. Not only was he screaming in my face, but punching and kicking my desk. Just completely lost his cool.”

#8. They aren’t gonna be anything.

“In my opinion any teacher that tells a student that they aren’t gonna be anything is automatically the worst teacher you could have. I’ve had several of those.”

#7. A (literally) huge a**hole.

“High school physics teacher. This man was 60 years old and at least 400 pounds, so he physically could not stand up to “teach” or whatever so he would just sit on his chair and lecture. Not about physics, but about how lazy and stupid this generation is and how we all just wanted “handouts” and to be “spoonfed”. He would embarrass people who didn’t do good on a test in front of the whole class and try to make them feel stupid. With labs, he would literally just bring us to the lab room and tell us to “figure out” what to do with all the equipment. He would grade lab reports unnecessarily strict. By that I mean he would literally skim through the lab report and just grade us based on how long our responses are and how “good” our graphs/tables were (whatever that means). I don’t think anybody in the class ever got over an 85 on a lab report and this was an honors physics class with students who will do anything for a good grade, so that says something. He would always brag about how “I’ve been studying this subject for 40 years” yet never share his knowledge about it with us. I self-taught myself physics and got an 87 in his class (which isn’t bad considering it was the first time I self-taught myself a whole subject) which he ended up rounding down to an 85. I’ve had my fair share of shitty teachers but he takes the cake. Just a (literally) huge asshole.”

#6. Probably because I cried a lot.

“My 5th grade math+science teacher didn’t like me. I’m not sure why exactly but it was probably because I cried a lot. I’m still a complete package of anxiety but as a kid I couldn’t hide it so I’d get embarrassed or anxious and I’d just cry.

She made me move up to sit at the front of the room, facing the rest of the class. So not only was I having to sit with everyone staring at me but I also couldn’t see the whiteboard.

She’d call on me for almost every question which just made everything worse if I didn’t know the answer.

She had a parent/teacher conference with my mom and the 2 other 5th grade teachers (it was split by subject and we just rotated throughout the day). She wanted to move me to remedial studies because I wasn’t doing well in her class. Thankfully the other two teachers plus my mom stood up for me so I was kept with the general population.

She gave us an assignment in which we were given an adult profession and had to calculate our yearly expenses and such. It was a big, month long project we would be working on every day. She allowed some kids to pick which profession they would work on and some kids she did not. I did not, and she announced very proudly that I (sitting in the front) would be a special education teacher. Nothing wrong with that…unless you’re a bunch of 5th graders and unless it was an obvious jab at me from her.

Not a slight against me, necessarily, but I remember the students she liked were the “cool kids” and they’d bring her gifts all the time. She always made sure to show them off every class.”

#5. She didn’t see the need.

“My mom spent a bunch of her own money just so my 2nd grade classroom could have books. Our teacher didn’t see the need and took them to Goodwill.”

#4. She still didn’t believe me.

“My Spanish II teacher in high school, Melba XXXXXXX. I used a single phrase in an assignment that she claimed I could not have known and someone else had obviously written the paper. (It has been 24 years, and I can’t remember the exact term but it was apparently colloquial and had to do with dancing. “Dance of dances” or something like that.) And since I had cheated, I received a zero. I informed her I had used a Spanish-English dictionary (which was allowed) and I would bring in the dictionary to prove it. The very next day I brought it in and she still didn’t believe me despite the phrase being in the book. She upgraded my 0 to a 50 and I got a stern lecture about cheating and being disrespectful.

For the term, I believe my grade was about an 80-ish.

You’re a cunt, Melba and you got me in a lot of trouble at home with a very angry father because of your lie. Fuck you.”

#3. The creep.

“We had a long term substitute in 3rd grade, the creep didn’t allow us to have recess one day and we had to sit quietly at our desks. A girl in my class had to go to the bathroom and he wouldn’t let her, I think she ended up getting up and leaving anyway and after she came back he demanded she talk to him in the hall. A minute later we heard a loud noise, turned out he tried to punch her in the head but she ducked and his hand went thru the wall. Luckily he got fired and teaching license taken away.”

#2. My social anxiety kind of started after that.

“5th grade made fun of me for not knowing how to pronounce a word so my social anxiety kinda started after that but good thing she passed me to the 6th grade because she never wanted to see me again.”

#1. The patience of a toddler.

“I had a biology teacher in 10th grade, lets call her Ms. Boglo

Ms. Boglo had the patience of a toddler. She had absolutely no control over her class and was straight up a terrible teacher. She would only ever give us packets that she downloaded online, or show presentations which weren’t hers. She would have temper tantrums when the class wouldn’t quiet down, and refuse to give us classwork when we misbehaved (which just gave us what we wanted at the time).

She INSISTED that we call her DOCTOR Boglo, even though she really didnt have the qualifications. She was once caught dealing drugs with students and somehow got past it.

One day we were supposed to do a lab, but we didnt quiet down, so she straight up refused to give it to us. Months pass, and when its time to take the state mandated exam for biology, a question about THAT SPECIFIC LAB was on the exam. My class could not answer it because she refused to give it to us. We didnt know the answer because she refused to give us the lab, even though we were ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED to take ALL labs for the state exam. I probably could have reported her for it, but I just wanted my ties with her cut.

A whole year of this biology class, and I learned absolutely nothing. She has absolutely no business being a teacher, and its people like Ms. Boglo that are failing to provide the care that young learners need.

Edit: she was also constantly doing things in her personal life during class time. A lot of the time she would be looking at bikes to buy, or houses. She would also sometimes bring up pictures of her sister, who was a lawyer, and talk about how jealous she was of her. She was one of the most childish teacher i’ve had the experience of dealing with.”

Hug a (good) teacher, folks!

The post 15 People Dish on the Worst Teacher They Ever Had appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Stories That Reveal the Truth About Reality TV

If you still think reality shows are real life, then have I got news for you. In most cases, I think it goes without saying that these shows have teams of writers who are behind everything that happens. These 15 folks have experienced the “reality” of reality shows, and they’re ready to reveal those secrets.

15. Looks first, plot later

I have a friend who signed up to audition for a show that she thought was “The Bachelorette”, or something similar. I guess its standard practice to not give the actual name of the show, and just say, “We need good looking, energetic young women for blah blah blah.”

So she got called back, went through a few different interviews and a screen test. Finally, they tell her that the concept is that she will be running a Pawn Shop with another woman. She is a dental assistant with no experience remotely related to the Pawn business.

“Pawn Queens” ended up being on for two seasons and they gave her a backstory about how/why she got interested in the pawn business. Not exactly SHOCKING, but it was pretty interesting to see that they basically looked for hot girls first, then put them into a proven concept (“Pawn Stars”-type reality show).

14. Hypnotic parenting?

I was on an episode of “extreme guide to parenting”. My mom is a hypnotherapist for a living and so they “interviewed” my brothers and me about getting “hypnotized” to do chores and get good grades. They had us say thing like “my mom using nuro linguistic programming to make us do things” and that she hypnotizes us on a daily basis. I was 14 and I had to pretend that I had a crush on this boy and my mom taught me how to “hypnotize him to like me”. All the parts with me in it were cut out, thank god, but my twin brothers got a decent amount of airtime. All of it was scripted. It was basically a publicity stunt on my moms part to get more business. I don’t blame her, it worked pretty effectively and we got a 5,000 dollar check for letting them use our house to film.

to clarify, everything my mom said was true to a degree, and she has hypnotized me in the past, but hypnotherapy is not what everyone thinks it is. It is a way of gaining more self control, not less, and in no way is it someone controlling your mind. There are subtle cues you can give people to get them to agree with you, such as nodding your head when you ask for something (and touching their shoulder) but other than that it is mostly used to help people stop smoking or biting their nails and even improving concentration and avoiding panic attacks. Just like anyother therapist might help you, my mom does it with hypnosis.

As for exploiting my brothers and me, it was really fun and I laughed a lot when I saw the final cut. I thought my family didn’t seem so bad when compared to others that I saw in the same episode, but I can’t judge. Either way, the whole plot was made up but it is true that my mom taught us how to exit something called flight or fight mode when in non-life threatening situations, like when you panic, she taught us to think clearly. Nothing as extreme as how they portrayed us in the show. Honestly, it’s counter intuitive to make a show that puts my mom in bad light for business reasons and so while everything was scripted, she did maintain her usual air of professionalism, the directors just took all the parts that made her look as bad as possible.

13. They all go insane

I have worked on several reality shows. Some are more fake than others, but they are all heavily scheduled and formatted, never spontaneous.

I worked on a certain MTV dating show where one of the contestants tried to escape the house in the middle of the night, and one of the Production Assistants had to tackle him in the front yard and drag him back into the house. It’s like prison, they are completely cut out from the outside world (no computer, books, phones, watches) and they are fed mostly booze. They all go insane.

Also, if the show doesn’t air, they don’t win their prize money. This is a standard for all competition reality shows.

12. This one’s actually really sweet

I’m late but whatever. Pitbulls and Parolees on Animal Planet. I used to work at the main warehouse where they filmed everything. Not sure if I’m actually on the show at all but if I am I’m just in the background scratching my ass.

Everyone that works there only tolerates filming because it’s more money for the dogs. The camera crews would try and get people to recreate things they missed but most of us weren’t very cooperative. Everyone on the show and in the rest of the staff really just wants the best for the dogs. From what I have seen anything that was staged we’re things that had actually happened and the camera crew wasn’t around for.

The dogs there are amazing. All the horrible things they had been through and they remain so lovable. I miss all my furry buddies there.

11. That actually makes sense

In the very first episode of Top Chef they ever filmed, Tom Colicchio flipped out because the dishes the contestants had cooked were getting cold while the film crew took “food porn” shots of them. From then on, all the contestants have to prepare two dishes. One for the judges to sample, and one for the cameras to pan over and show the audience.

10. Creating drama

You know, it really depends on the type of show you are on because they vary so wildly in style. I’ve worked on a number of reality shows as a lighting technician, the ones I can remember the most are the amazing race, the great escape, kitchen nightmares, and twinning.

Twinning was the one that was most like jersey shore or the real world. Definitely not fake, but casting is so important. You don’t need to fake anything when the people you as filming 24 hours a day are absolutely nuts. They’ll decide at certain points to play God a little bit and move them into rooms with people they hate or give them alcohol when they realize two people have a thing together, but aren’t acting on it. The producers of all of these shows just sit in a room and figure out how to create drama.

I’ve had friends work on duck dynasty. Everything in that show was scripted and they would do multiple takes and get coverage. Very fake, basically a tv show shot in a reality format.

Shows like the amazing race and the great escape on the other hand are pretty dang real. Because of the obstacles and challenges they are interesting enough without the producers interfering that much. On the great escape because of the style of the show, we would go back the next day and reshoot key moments in a cinematic way to push that style. While it was “fake” it was still pretty dang real.

Oh and kitchen nightmares is very real. Gordon Ramsey is just basically a producer that is in the show. He knows what good tv is and how to get it. They pick terrible businesses and the show writes itself. The remodels are always funny though as they are just so on the surface.

9. This sounds like a miserable experience

I know someone who was on Love It or List It when it was in Raleigh. Here’s how the show works, according to what they told me:

As mentioned, nobody wants to list their house- they just want a free renovation and to be on TV. However…

…the show only pays for 50% of the work they do on your house, and the producers do what they want for TV and don’t really respect the homeowners’ wishes.

They shoot a bunch of episodes in one market at a time, so they use one set of contractors for all of the homes. If they get behind on the work on a given home, they pretend that the work is done so they can wrap on the episode, then they take the crew with them to the next house. You then have to live in an unfinished renovation until the whole set of episodes is finished and the crew can get back to you. This can be months or not at all.

It has been an awful experience for many in this market, but the contract is so immensely in the favor of the production company, the homeowners don’t really have any reasonable recourse to get things finished or fixed in the cases stuff was done wrong.

8. Definitely not a blind date

My cousin was on a Toronto dating show called Matchmaker many years ago. She said it was completely scripted and she met her “blind date” before filming so the producers could go over the script with them. They were given a list of ridiculous and racy questions to ask each other and encouraged to make out if they actually liked each other or to cause a scene and be dramatic if they didn’t really click.

7. What you see is actually what you get

Probably no one on Reddit watches it, but Say Yes to the Dress. It’s real. One sister and a few friends have gotten their dresses there, and while they didn’t appear on the show (you get asked when you make your appointment), their experiences were the exact same as TV.

Yes, the consultants really are that personable. Yes, you sit where the show is filmed. Yes, the people on the show really work there. No, they won’t show you anything outside your budget, and yes, they really do bend over backwards to find you discounts if you need one (like on the show.)

I know there are probably cheaper places to buy a wedding dress, but Kleinfeld’s is gorgeous and exactly like it is on SYTTD. The only thing that might be “faked” is if girls/their family are told to be super picky about the dress for ~dramatic effect~.

6. At least he got paid

I had a friend on Cash In The Attic in the UK. The idea is that some antique dealers and so on will scout around in your attic/garage/shed and “find” valuable items to sell.

They found precisely fuck all in my friend’s house, so they pulled some paintings and a vase out of the van, “found” them, then asked him to go and get changed so they could film a segment from “after the sale”.

It all seems like a complete waste of time, aside from the couple of hundred quid they gave him.

5. That takes the cake

Everything. Every single thing is fake. I was on a cake competition show. The judges recorded 2 takes for every comment, one positive and one negative so the editors could put it together however they wanted. They rolled the clock back an hour so everyone else could finish. We had over three months to plan our “spontaneous” cake. Oh yeah, and while we won by the judges vote…a producer decided one of the other cakes would film better for the big reveal so we didn’t win even though we should have.

4. Boo-hoo

Sob stories on singing shows – it’s not the contestant’s fault!

I made it through a few rounds for a well known singing show and they BEG you for sob stories. on my very first application form, I was asked about the most difficult moment in my life, what obstacles I’d overcome to be there, had I ever experienced bullying, etc.

They pretty much make you tell them a sob story. So I wrote all about my heartbreak when I ran out of coffee.

3. New clothes aren’t that exciting

My friend was on What Not to Wear, and I was in the audience of people who were there to react when she came out from behind the curtain with her new look. She came out over and over again, but our cheering was never enthusiastic enough for the producers. After about 10 takes, we were screaming our heads off, totally hysterical, as if we’d just seen her rise from the dead. So that part was fake; I thought she just looked alright.

2. Not actually impossible

I was on restaurant impossible a couple years ago. They say they have a $10,000 budget for the renovation, definitely does not mean they use it. The host, Robert Irvine, was only there for like an hour a day, of the 3ish day venture, just to get in the way and whine about things for the camera. They made up this whole story about how my boss would lose everything and cause so much stress on his marriage and family if the restaurant failed. They had us “walk this direction with a sullen look” to show that we felt underappreciated as employees. We had four employees actually walk out because of some the comments Robert made. We also did not get paid any extra for any of this.

But, while all of that was annoying, I will say this. The food network did pay almost $4k for a very local construction crew to come in, which is awesome for local business/support, the food was very awesome, and I got to learn some insane techniques from world class chef’s, at the very start of my career (I am a chef myself now). It was very neat and exciting thing for a small town, and definitely brought our community together. And while the business did still end up failing a year and a half later, my boss was totally fine because he bought out another restaurant and is now very successful elsewhere.

1. They weren’t even married

My daughter and her boyfriend were on Divorce court. They were not married, and the shows producers helped them tailor their story (which was completely made up) to be more interesting. They are now married and since they’ve already been “divorced”, it should last forever.

The post 15 Stories That Reveal the Truth About Reality TV appeared first on UberFacts.

12+ Reddit Users Imagine the Worst ‘Sexy’ Costumes You Could Wear This Halloween

Every year, it happens like clockwork.

People all dressed up in their “sexy” Halloween costumes. Might be a nurse, a doctor, or even a sexy cowgirl. Heck, sometimes they even get more creative and bizarre. I’ve seen a sexy salt and pepper shaker…which is not something I ever thought I’d type.

In this AskReddit thread, Halloween buffs imagine the worst sexy costumes that we might see this October.

1. Let’s hope not

“Sexy school shooter. You could do that Miley Cyrus thing where you lick the barrel.”

2. Howdy, neighbor!

“Flanders – stupid sexy Flanders.”

3. Really?

“A few places already pulled Sexy Handmaids Tale costumes from their websites/shelves because of the backlash from having “sexy” costumes.”

4. Now that I would like to see

“Sexy post-transformation Jeff Goldblum from the hit film, The Fly.”

5. That is scary

“Member of the lollipop guild. Sexy munchkin= Snooki.”

6. That is really bad

“When I was in college two of my friends decided to go as the Twin Towers for Halloween. They had tiny figures hanging out of the windows with string and were chain smoking cigarettes so they could blow smoke out of their costumes. They only wore them for like an hour before taking them off and putting something else on, but I would say a sexy version of that would be even worse.”

7. Oh no!

“Bill Cosby… but imagine those sexy sweaters.”

8. Okay…

“Sexy Gorton’s Fisherman!”

9. Very timely

“Sexy Judge Kavanaugh … with alcohol.”

10. Let’s pass on this one

“Sexy tampon.”

11. Might work

“Stephen Hawking.”

12. I’m getting turned on…

“A standard 2×2 red lego brick. It’s not sexy, but it’s hard, rigid, and all you need.”

13. Not a pretty picture

“Sexy cold sore.”

14. A bit of a stretch

“His d*ck is a hammer and you’re going to get nailed, it’s Bob the Sexy Builder.”

15. Welcome to Flavor Town!

“Guy Fieri.”

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12+ Clever Ways Millennials Can Tell People How Old They Are

For as often as we use the term “millennial,” I’d be surprised if everyone knew what it actually meant. Are millennials kids? Teenagers? Are they hellbent on destroying everything we hold dear? None of those things are true, actually. In reality, millennials are people in their 20s-30s who grew up when the internet and technology were still in their infancy.

So, how do you explain that to those around you? Instead of telling people your actual age, just give them an example of some outdated technology you used in your lifetime. Check out some examples below and see if any of them apply to you!

1. “Get Off The Internet Because Someone Needs To Make A Call” years old:

Photo Credit: Twitter: @TheOldManClub

2. “All My Music Fits In A Binder” years old:

Photo Credit: Amazon

3. “Got Pictures Developed And They All Came Back Like This” years old:

Photo Credit: PhotoBucket

4. “Printed Out Directions” years old:

Photo Credit: Twitter: @AshLIGHTnin

5. “Read The Shampoo Bottle On The Toilet” years old:

Photo Credit: Reddit: penn451

6. “Looked Up Movie Times In The Newspaper” years old:

Photo Credit: Twitter: @TheOldManClub

7. “Video Games Only Worked On Channel 3” years old:

8. “Recorded Songs Off The Radio For My Ringtone” years old:

Photo Credit: Twitter: @miss_neoentle

9. “Orange VHS” years old:

Photo Credit: Twitter: @okmute

10. “Looked Through The Eyehole Of A Camera” years old:

Photo Credit: PhotoBucket

11. “Carried Both A Phone And An iPod” years old:

Photo Credit: PhotoBucket

12. “Had To Physically Roll Up The Windows Like a Caveman” years old:

Photo Credit: Twitter: @KingJamesofDfs

13. “Couldn’t Afford To Use The Internet On My Phone” years old:

Photo Credit: me.me

14. “Titanic Was On Two Separate VHS Tapes” years old:

Photo Credit: Twitter: @BossyLossy

15. “Phone Battery Lasted All Day” years old:

Photo Credit: Twitter: @TrxllStar

Boy…do I feel old!

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15 Photos That Shorties Will Definitely Relate To

For all the short ladies out there: We get it, everything is too high.

If that’s the case, you will thoroughly enjoy these photos. But only you can laugh at them: not anyone else…cool?

1. The worst

Photo Credit: Instagram[/caption]

2. It gets kinda old

Photo Credit: Instagram

3. Preach!

Photo Credit: Instagram

4. Animals…

Photo Credit: Instagram

5. Please don’t do that

Photo Credit: Instagram

6. I do

Photo Credit: Instagram

7. Lack of dancing partners

Photo Credit: Instagram

8. Assistance needed

Photo Credit: Instagram

9. Hello?

Photo Credit: Instagram

10. Next to a giant

Photo Credit: Instagram

11. Don’t leave me behind!

Photo Credit: Instagram

12. Sit on some phone books

Photo Credit: Instagram

13. You’d be a millionaire

Photo Credit: Instagram

14. Hello up there

Photo Credit: Instagram

15. Let’s end on a nice note, shall we?

Photo Credit: Instagram

Go Shorty, it’s your birthday…

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12+ People Share Embarrassing Things They Did As a Kid That They’ll Never Forget

We all do embarrassing things when we are kids, right? Thankfully, everyone tends to forget them…but not us. If you did something particularly cringe-inducing when you were young, you likely remember every awful detail to this day.

It sounds like these 15 people are the exact same way.

#15. Gently rolling in and out of the waves.

“When I was about 5 years old I shat in the ocean on a crowded beach and watched in horror as the turd floated and then washed ashore, gently rolling in and out with the waves. Just rolling, rolling, rolling…”

#14. What the hell was that?

“I was in a small restaurant with my dad and brother and when I went to the bathroom, I decided to belt out the chorus to “Weird” Al’s The White Stuff in full volume thinking the bathroom would contain my vocals. I walked out realizing the restaurant was quiet and when I sat down my dad goes “what the hell was that?” and when he saw the confusion on my face he proceeded to explain to me that the ENTIRE restaurant heard me.”

#13. You punch like a girl.

“In first grade, pretty normal kid, liked to play video games. Video games like the original super smash bros.

I was often bullied by this one kid. One day he says something to me in the middle of class, in front of everyone, that pushed me too far, Don’t remember what it was, but I decided to punch him. I get out of my seat… in front of the entire class… walk over to him… in front of the entire class… and start swinging my arm in a wind up like DONKEY KONG IN SUPER SMASH BROS… in front of the entire class. I was about to punch him, until he says “you punch like a girl.” The whole class laughed, the teacher laughed and I walked back to my seat without ever swinging the punch.

Decades later and it still kills me to think about.

EDIT: Lol no guys, I’m not still charging the punch.”

#12. Oh, okay.

“I liked this boy in my art class and found out through some mutual friends that he lived a few blocks from me. So instead of just talking to him at school like a sane person would I decided Id get his attention by sneaking out of my house at 4am with a big bag of garbage, walking all the way to his house, throwing the garbage all over his lawn, then ringing his doorbell and running back home. The next day at school I asked him if anything weird happened at his house last night, when he said yeah I revealed that I was the one who “pranked” his family last night. He just awkwardly said “oh okay.” and didn’t talk to me for a few months after that. What the fuck was I thinking?”

#11. I basically had to pee upward.

“Went on my first date at around 13 to Finding Nemo with a girl and her friend when it first came out in theatres. Ate a bunch of popcorn with a huge soda and ended up sitting through the last 30 minutes of the movie having to pee so, so bad. Being an awkward early teen, I didn’t want to get up and awkwardly crawl through the packed movie theater so just endured the pain. Afterwards, I ran to the packed bathroom and waited in line behind a ton of other men awkwardly for a urinal. Finally, one opened up in my line and I rushed up to it only to realize that the base of it was at my crotch level, so I basically had to pee upwards to get it in the urinal. I had to pee so bad and felt so awkward about the whole situation that I started peeing but didn’t want to be even more weird and look down at where I was peeing in front of all the other men waiting to piss. So… I just kinda stood on my tiptoes and stared at the wall, initially getting it in the bowl but then becoming unaware of where my pee was going…I ended up spraying the front of the urinal, getting my entire lower front covered in piss bouncing off the contaminated urinal, and soaking the floor and probably the guys feet next to me. Upon finishing my giant pee, I realized the shit I was in as I had to meet my date and her friend outside the bathroom along with walk past the line of guys waiting to use the urinal behind me. I ended up rapidly pretending to spray myself with water at the sink and then walked out with my sweatshirt on, but with my hands in the front pockets stretching it down, trying to cover up my crotch and upper thighs. I rapidly said bye without a hug and hopped in the front seat of my moms minivan and rode home smelling like pee. It was awkward.”

#10. For you!

“I had an older cousin who I overheard say she was going to be a porn star one day. I had no idea what that was (9yrs old). One day we went to the mall with her parents and a kiosk was selling license plate holders. One said “#1 porn star”. I very loudly said “look Angie! #1 porn star!! For you!!” The look on her parents face….”

#9. White soccer shorts.

“I shit my pants on the jungle gym at school while waiting for my mom to pick me up. Another kid shouted “someone smells like poop” so my logical response was saying “whoever smelt it dealt it” and walked away.

Oh yeah, I was wearing white soccer shorts.”

#8. A very awkward talk.

“When I was around 5 or so I used to go to the side of my house with a shovel to shit. Now you might be thinking I dug a hole a shit in it. I wish. I would defecate onto the shovel and then fling it over the gate, onto the street. I remember eventually getting caught and having a very awkward talk with my parents.”

#7. I dove right in there.

“I told this story years ago on reddit and got the tag Santa Molester.

But one Christmas when I was about 5/6ish years old, I was in line at the mall to sit on Santa’s lap. I decided that I wanted to give him money to go towards feeding the reindeer, and since I was 5/6 that money was basically a handful of nickles and dimes and probably a couple pennies. Not much maybe like 40 to 50 cents in change.

My turn came up and I sat on Santa’s lap, and I tried to hand him the money but it fell out of my hand… and right down onto Santa’s crotch. I dove right in there trying to pick up the money with my little boy hands and Santa hastily said (very hastily): “Oh, ho, ho, it’s okay. I’ll get it later.” And put my on the ground to send me on my way.

So, yeah, I molested Santa Claus, and indeed, it still haunts me to this day.”

#6. Stop hugging my mom!

“When I was in kindergarten waiting outside to be picked up by my mom, I saw her approaching. I closed my eyes and ran at her and hugged her. Opened my eyes and I apparently I had not aimed correctly as I was hugging the wrong woman. One of my classmates yelled at me to “stop hugging their mom”.

I still think about it.”

#5. To no avail.

“I pissed myself in primary school in year 5 (uk). I was so shy I didn’t want to put my hand up and ask to go to the toilet so I tried to hold it in until home time, which was only a few minutes away- but to no avail. Once the floodgates were open and there was no going back, I decided that the best course of action would be to look as nonchelant as possible, and just maybe, no one would notice. So I stood there, silently gazing out of the window and pissing myself, trying to appear as though I didn’t have a care in the world.

Obvs that was a shit plan of action and of course everyone fucking noticed. Just when I thought I’d reached the climax of mortification however, when the whole class was watching me piss myself in stunned silence, the (very sweet) teacher said ‘Bonnie?’ and my fucking mouth decided to blurt out ‘IM BEING SICK.’

The teacher muttered ‘You’re… being sick.’ And I responded, defiantly, with piss streaming very obviously down my legs and all over my white (or, yellow) socks and into my shoes ‘Yes. It’s not wee. I’m being sick.’

Good times.”

#4. Safe to say it did not.

“When I was 7, me and my family were visiting Edinburgh and we decided to go to the botanical gardens. While there, I was drawn to these giant Lilly pads. I suddenly had memories of watching frogs jump on smaller sized Lilly pads and thought it would be an excellent idea to try and hop onto one to see if it would hold my weight. Safe to say it did not, and it was a long, wet walk back to the car after an embarrassing explanation to the managers of the gardens as to why one of their giant Lilly pads had a child-shaped hole in it.”

#3. The loudest public fart known to man.

“Back in 8th grade, I had just come back from lunch break and was sitting down for science class. Had been holding in a fart for a few minutes and wasn’t too worried about it. Then the urge to sneeze struck and before you know it, I was sat in the middle of the class – everyone silent, and every pair of eyes on me – as I came to the terms with the fact that I had just done the loudest public fart known to man.

Of course, I tried to cover it up by saying “What? Why are you all staring at me?” Teacher even helped me out by shifting attention away, god bless her soul.

I still have nightmares to this day.”

#2. The actual nasal excavation.

“In elementary school I used to pick my nose, drop my pencil “by accident”, then wipe my boogers into the carpet when my hand was already down there to pick up my pencil. Two problems with my foolproof plan:

I wasn’t discreet AT ALL with the actual nasal excavation
I did this shit like every five minutes
Edit: the elusive carpeted classroom was in Utah, USA. Why is this so fucking exotic to y’all?”

#1. The spotlight shines on me…

“My mom took my brother and I to the circus when I was about 5 or 6. We got slushie drinks during the circus that were pretty frozen. Trying to break up a big piece of ice I jammed the straw to the bottom of the styrofoam cup putting a hole in the bottom and getting cherry slushie all over me. I started to cry when everybody was quiet watching the the tightrope walker do his thing. Here I am screaming, covered in red stuff and a spotlight shines on me. A lot of people gasped thinking something really bad was happening. They stopped the show for a few minutes. The only thing more red than my shirt was my mom’s face. I still think about that from time to time, and call my mom to apologize sometimes when I’m drunk.”

 

Would you dare confess your worst? Not me!

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These 15 First Dates Were Hilariously Bad

At their best, first dates can lead to a second date, but at their worst they can be excruciatingly awkward engagements.

These tweeters went on the record and revealed the worst dates they ever had. Let’s have some pity on these people, okay?

1. That’s a good reason to leave

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. I’ll mail you a check

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. Class act

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. That’s a little weird

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. Hello!

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. That didn’t help matters

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. Charmer

Photo Credit: Twitter

8. That doesn’t sound uncomfortable at all

Photo Credit: Twitter

9. Kissin’ cousins

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. Was there a second one?

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. Wow

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. A true gentleman

Photo Credit: Twitter

13. Hmmmmm…I gotta go now

Photo Credit: Twitter

14. Cheapskate

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. Just got out of the clink

Photo Credit: Twitter

What’s your worst first date story? Tell us in the comments.

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