15 People Who Get the Genius Award

These people are geniuses. That’s right, the real sharp cookies.  And they will be recognized now in all of their glory.

And don’t you ever forget it.

1. We all need this

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. Revenge

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. For the elite

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. She’s expecting twins

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. Just try it

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Next level

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. Bright kid

Photo Credit: Twitter

8. See what I’m talking about?

Photo Credit: Twitter

9. Don’t underestimate Ma Maw

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. Cue creepy music

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. Someone is watching…

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. Please let it be true

Photo Credit: Twitter

13. Genius in my book

Photo Credit: Twitter

14. This woman needs to be in Mensa

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. And the smartest man in the world is…

Photo Credit: Twitter

I don’t know about you, but I’m incredibly inspired.

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15+ People Who Should Be Immediately Fired

The folks behind these next-level disasters weren’t actually thinking about the task at hand, because these fails are pretty awful.

1. I hope In Spanish had a nice birthday

Photo Credit: Instagram

2. Major fail

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. That’s probably not good

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. Right on the money

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. The guy is still looking for it

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Grant strikes again

Photo Credit: Instagram

7. NO

Photo Credit: Instagram

8. Water hazard

Photo Credit: Instagram

9. Hahahahahaha

Photo Credit: Instagram

10. Pick a new font, please

Photo Credit: Instagram

11. Damn! They’re out!

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. Or eggs…

Photo Credit: Instagram

13. What are those called?

Photo Credit: Instagram

14. No drainage

Photo Credit: Instagram

15. Maybe it’s an art piece?

Photo Credit: Instagram

16. Only $25, too

Photo Credit: Instagram

17. Somebody’s gonna have an accident

Photo Credit: Instagram

18. Hello, friend

Photo Credit: Instagram

19. Convenient

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20. Did it work, though?

Photo Credit: Instagram

You’re fired!

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12+ Ridiculously Funny Tumblr Stories That Are Sure to Make You Laugh

Tumblr never fails to make us laugh. It’s where some of the best storytellers on the internet gather to share their ridiculous tales.

In fact, that’s what this list is all about. Check out these 14 funny-as-hell stories straight from Tumblr and get ready to laugh.

1. Classic Brenda

2. Badass

Photo Credit: Tumblr: quietzombiegirl

3. Powerful

Photo Credit: Tumblr: donkamatic

4. Yikes

Photo Credit: Tumblr: thatisrad

5. Truly epic

Photo Credit: Tumblr: theyellowbrickroad

6. Nic Cage would be proud

7. Am I hearing things?

Photo Credit: Tumblr: goshdaggett

8. It’s all fun until someone gets offended

Photo Credit: Tumblr: bratphomet

9. Just like Jesus

Photo Credit: Tumblr: kaity–did

10. She better have got an A+

Photo Credit: Tumblr: voxeterna1

11. A helluva drug

Photo Credit: Tumblr: thecapn

12. Dinner

Photo Credit: Tumblr: starfleetrambo

13. You showed him

14. C’mon, Mr. Noodle!

Photo Credit: Tumblr: madlori

Well, I’m all out of laughs for the day.

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The Time a Computer Error Led to the Philippines Declaring War on…Pepsi?

Computer glitches are frustrating, but has one ever cost your company about $8 million and resulted in your headquarters being literally bombed? No?

Then consider yourself lucky, because that’s what happened – and more – when Pepsi accidentally announced a winning number in their Number Fever promotion back in May of 1992. Every day, residents of the Philippines checked under their bottle caps to see whether they’d won the usual daily prize of roughly $5 or had managed to nab a cap that would change their life to the tune of $40k.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

The promotion was working, too, in a country with tons of soda drinkers but where Pepsi, as in the rest of the world, consistently came in as #2 to rival Coke. Sales in the Philippines had spiked 40%, and Pepsi’s share of the market had risen to 26% as they gave away $5 prizes to 51,000 people and $40,000 to a mere 17.

All of that changed on May 25th, 1992, when the winning number flashed on the television screen – 349 – and literally hundreds of thousands of people thought they had won the day’s grand prize. They marched to Manila’s Pepsi plants the next morning to find that the number had been mistakenly printed on 800,000 bottles. Only two also contained the security code that declared the cap an authentic winner.

Pepsi owned the error and apologized (and presumably fired D.G. Consultores, the Mexican marketing firm that generated the numbers via computer). They even offered everyone with a 349 bottle cap $20 to help alleviate their disappointment.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

But people were not having it.

They formed mobs that turned into organized factions with elected leaders who called for product boycotts – some even had their own propaganda. Riots ensued and homemade bombs flew as the plants and factories erected barbed wire in an attempt to protect their investments and employees. Death threats abounded and fretful executives hired bodyguards and armed delivery trucks (between 32 and 37 of them were overturned, burned, or otherwise vandalized during the early days). Many chose to leave the country altogether.

One homemade grenade missed its target, killing a schoolteacher and a 5-year-old student and wounding 6 others.

The people would not be placated by $20, and they didn’t understand why such a big company wouldn’t honor its commitment even if an error caused the uproar. One protestor, a 64-year-old woman named Pacienncia Salem, summed up the thoughts of a nation when she said:

“Even if I die here, my ghost will come to fight Pepsi. It is their mistake. Not our mistake. And now they won’t pay. That’s why we are fighting.”

The giveaway was meant to boost sales, and well into 1993, Pepsi saw their market share take a dive and their expenses go up – they had budgeted a total of $2 million in prizes and were now up to $10 million. Plus, you know, workers were afraid for their lives.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Pepsi refused to back down, despite having to respond to 698 civil suits and 5200 criminal complaints (all of which were tossed out of court), but, even so, the ire eventually began to fade. Sensationalist claims, like Pepsi having orchestrated the protests for their own gain (?) and rival companies having been involved, gained no traction.

It wasn’t until 2006 that a Philippines Supreme Court ruling officially closed the book on all outstanding court cases and found that Pepsi was not obligated to honor payouts that resulted from the computer error.

An end, perhaps, but likely not the one all of the protestors were hoping for back in 1992. Win some, lose some, I suppose.

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These Sweary “Harry Potter” Wine Glasses Are Perfect for The Muggle in Your Life

I need everything Harry Potter in my life. I’m talking everything.

But especially give me items that will hold booze, and that goes double for ones that get swear words into the mix. I mean, I guess some people would argue that these have no place because Harry Potter is a children’s series, but let’s get real – the generation that was weaned on Harry Potter are all grown up, many of us with kids of our own, and we need these glasses like we need air and earlier bedtimes.

You can find these in the Etsy shop MiseryLovesCo666 and no matter what house you’re in, you’re going to need a full set. Because who has time to do dishes every damn day?

First up, Ravenclaw.

Photo Credit: Etsy

Then Gryffindor…

Photo Credit: Etsy

And Slytherin.

Photo Credit: Etsy

Then finally Hufflepuff (don’t even try to tell me they wouldn’t love this).

Photo Credit: Etsy

Well, I’ve got to go buy some holiday gifts – ammiright?

Update: as of this writing, these glasses are all sold out. But a strong first run just means they’ll be back! I hope…

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People Come up With 15 Mildly Inconvenient Curses They Would Put on Their Enemies

Everyone has at least one person who gets on their last nerve. Maybe they sit in the cubicle next to you at work, or perhaps their kid is in your kid’s class. We might not hate them enough to risk Azkaban, but if there was just a way to make sure their days would be a little more difficult, well…

These 15 people have curses ready and waiting should Hogwarts ever lift that ban about magicking Muggles.

#15. They didn’t quite wipe enough.

“Their ass will always feel like they didn’t quite wipe enough.”

#14. Never actually sneeze.

“They will always feel a sneeze coming on but never actually sneeze.”

#13. Still damp.

“Their clothes will forever come out of the dryer still damp.”

#12. Until they change.

“Whenever they finish peeing the last drop will always wet their underwear and stay wet until they change.”

#11. Stub their toe.

“Every time they go up the stairs, they stub their toe.”

#10. Any time you need either one.

“Driver’s license and debit card swap position any time you need either one.”

#9. Every time.

“every time they type the letter “e” the keyboard won’t respond the first few times they press it”

#8. Urge to pee.

“Every time they lie down to sleep, they get an instant urge to pee.”

#7. Only socks.

“They are more likely to step on a wet spot when wearing only socks.”

#6. Someone has lots of enemies.

“Your shoes will never stay tied.

You will always get the seat in front of the talker in the movie theater. And the one behind the texter with their screen brightness set to 100%.

Your hotel room will always be next to the ice machine or the elevator shaft.

Your shower setting will always be a touch too cold, or too hot, no matter how you adjust it.

Every pair of earbuds you buy will have the right bud go out the 4th time you use them.

Your car will make that noise. Except when other people are around. And never at the mechanic’s

No matter how carefully you shave, you will nick the same spot every time.”

#5. The moment you reach it.

“Every stoplight will turn red the moment you reach it.”

#4. 3 seconds off.

“Every single video you ever watch will always be 3 seconds off sync audio wise.”

#3. At all times.

“One clogged nostril at all times.”

#2. The hiccups.

“Every 100 blinks gives them the hiccups.”

#1. Not enough toilet paper.

“Anytime they go to poop, there’s not enough toilet paper for them to finish wiping.”

 

I’m stealing some of these. You?

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Up Your Cat Toy Game With These Awesome Products

Still giving your cat cheap toys like fake mice and fuzzy pom-poms? If so, it’s time for an upgrade. Today’s cats are into purposeful brands that provide value and experiences. They crave adventure, not your raggedy AF crumpled ball of paper or the bottle cap from your hard cider.

Fortunately for your kitty, a company called SUCK UK has stepped up. Your cat wants a tank? Guess what. Your cat can get a tank.

Photo Credit: SUCK UK

The tank arrives as a cardboard foldable – so easy, a child could put it together it. Instructions included.

 

Photo Credit: SUCK UK

You might be thinking why can’t I grab another hard cider and make Mr. Business his own tank out of an empty La Croix case?

Because, you can’t. That’s why.

The company also makes other crazy kitty curios.

Sick beats are on the way with this Cat Scratch Turntable.

Photo Credit: SUCK UK

To augment his DJ career, he will need the Cat Scratch Laptop.

Photo Credit: SUCK UK

After a hard week of handing out flyers and DJing, your kitty will want to unwind with some alone time. A weekend in a cabin or teepee should do the trick.

Photo Credit: SUCK UK

When you give the gift of lifestyle, your little killing machine is sure to love you ’til death do you part. Just make it snappy with putting the things together, or you’ll likely lose your furry buddy to the shipping box.

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Domino’s Cancels Their “Free Pizza for Life” Offer to People Who Get a Tattoo of Their Logo

Domino’s Pizza in Russia launched a two-month promotion in August where anyone who got the company’s logo tattooed on their body, shared a pic on social media, and hashtagged the promotion link would get 100 free pizzas every year for 100 years-so basically, free pizza for life.

Hey, maybe it sounded like a decent idea at the time, right? But maybe not so much for the people who actually went through with getting inked up.

And, wouldn’t you know it, a bunch of Russian folks got the Domino’s tattoo…

Photo Credit: Instagram

Photo Credit: Instagram

Photo Credit: Instagram

Photo Credit: Instagram

…and then Domino’s backtracked on the promotion, saying they’d only honor the first 350 souls brave enough to get a tattoo and issuing a statement saying they wouldn’t be accepting any more participants:

“An urgent message to all those sitting at the tattoo artist’s right now: We’ll include you in the list of participants, but we’re waiting for photos up to midday today. To those with appointments scheduled for later, we recommend canceling them.”

Let’s hope at least 350 people who got the permanent ink do get free pies for life. As for the rest…there’s always laser removal…

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12+ Middle-Aged Women Reveal What They Wished They’d Known In Their 20’s

It takes time, failure, and persistence to learn new lessons. Just ask anyone in their 40s or 50s and they’ll tell you that there are things they would have done differently had they known then what they know now.

Photo Credit: Twitter

And while there’s not a darn thing we can do about our own choices, writer and university professor Nyasha Junior thought that maybe if women in their 40s could give advice to their 20-something selves, there might be some actual 20-somethings out there who would read it and take advantage. You never know!

#15. A pile of solid advice.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#14. Magical exhaustion.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#13. Both true.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#12. Be okay with what you can’t change.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#11. There’s more up ahead.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#10. Better with age.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#9. Never mind what the romance novels say.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#8. Just because.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#7. Abstract but true.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#6. Look to the future.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#5. Some people don’t deserve a second chance.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#4. No more holding back.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#3. Listen to them.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#2. You’re own biggest fan.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#1. Never settle.

Photo Credit: Twitter

What would you tell your younger self? I would tell mine to not waste another minute giving a crap what other people think!

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12+ Tweets For Anyone With a Sister

My sisters and I drive each other insane sometimes, but that’s what family is all about, right?

If you have sisters, you’ll definitely appreciate these tweets.

1. Acting out

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. Run!

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. Sisterly love

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. She’s a busy woman

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. Let me see the little one

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Here comes an argument

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. This is true

Photo Credit: Twitter

8. Absolutely

Photo Credit: Twitter

9. Don’t do that

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. At a time like this…

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. Caught in the act

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. Uh oh

Photo Credit: Twitter

13. Showed him

Photo Credit: Twitter

14. Hands off

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. Thief

Photo Credit: Twitter

Where all the sisters at?

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