15 Things We Are Definitely NOT in ‘The Golden Age’ Of

When historians look back at this era, how will they define it? Most likely not by reason or thought. Am I the only one who feels like we’re trapped in an age of stupidity?

AskReddit users went on the record and revealed what we are NOT in ‘The Golden Age’ of.

1. Very true

“Boxing.”

2. No common ground

“Water cooler talk at work. Ten years ago if I saw something incredible I would talk to people about it at work the next day, now nobody watches the same thing so those conversations don’t happen.”

3. Fall of the mall

“Shopping Malls, they are super dead and getting a little deader every day.”

4. Tragedy

“Fishing.

We’ve killed so many fish it’s a f*cking tragedy. By some estimates we’ve killed 90% of the world’s shark population alone. Reading old books and running into offhand comments about fishing is depressing as hell.

I love seafood, but we need like a decade-long commercial fishing hiatus followed by much stricter limits and better regulations. There are a bunch of really dumb rules right now; bycatch is wasted, for example. Let’s get by on sport-caught and farmed seafood for a while and let the fishes come back.

Fishing now is nothing whatever like it was even fifty years ago. A century ago it was like another planet. And this is coming from a kiteboarder, somebody to whom sharks are a genuine threat.”

5. Muscle men

“Bodybuilding. Go look at the recent Mr. Olympia winners and compare that to the days of Schwarzenegger. Night and day.”

6. Damn shoelaces

“Shoe fastenings. We’re still using primitive shoelaces just like all of those grim people in the earliest photographs, standing there in their tall uncomfortable black boots, out in the barnyard next to the well, with the tethered mule standing dumbly by the family, all of whom look angry or like they want to die instead of face yet another brutal day trying to wrestle their sustenance out of the unforgiving ground.

The well is gone, the mule is gone, even the barnyard is gone, and we sit in our shiny air-conditioned towers talking to each other across a networked world swarmed with satellites, yet still we wear those same laces.

We tried in the 80s with Velcro; every kid had a pair, or at least some hybrid hi-tops. But Big Shoelace crushed it behind the scenes, relegating it to the shoes of wriggling infants and arthritic seniors in the painful twilight of their mobility.

So here we are still enslaved, still tethered to Big Shoelace, suckling at its teat as the only means of sustenance within the radius allowed us. We are the mules now. We will never escape. We will never escape. Congress has a golden shoelace around its neck and we will never escape. Perhaps it’s a golden age after all, just not for the many.”

7. Long gone neon

“Neon signs

Ok, people are saying that “hey, you’ve clearly never been to X, there’s a ton there!” While you’re right, I’ve never been to Austin or Vegas, that doesn’t mean that we’re still in the golden age. There’s a great documentary that was actually on the Reddit front page about the industry dying in Asia (I believe it’s been linked to in this thread multiple times). There are a lot out in the world, but there’s almost no new ones being made, and not like they used to be. I would say the golden age for neon was in the 80s. LEDs are the future and that’s kinda sad.”

8. We need an upgrade

“Toilets. Either make them all flush automatically or make them where you have to push the handle down.

If it’s one of those automatic ones, please make it smart enough to not flush while I’m just sitting down or mid poop. I like to wipe down the toilet seat before I sit on it and throw that toilet paper in the water to avoid any splash backs . Half the time it doesn’t work because the toilet will just flush before I even sit down.

And fix the bathroom stalls. No one should be able to make eye contact with me through the crack of the door as they walk in and I’m in the stall talking a poop.”

9. Any Brits care to weigh in?

“The British Empire.”

10. Is it in the past or the future?

“Space Exploration.”

11. A lot of people are sorry

“The Halo franchise. Sorry ?

12. Interesting take

“Alchemy!”

13. On the decline

“Kmart!”

14. Not a bad thing

“Small pox.”

15. What’s gonna happen?

“Gene manipulation.

CRISPR is at its infancy, and won’t reach its full potential for a few decades I’m guessing. Who knows what could happen when we reach that point?”

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15 People Share the Best Way to Make the Worst First Impression

You only get one shot, people. Whether you’re meeting a stranger, potential boss, or a blind date, you only get one opportunity to make a first impression. So don’t blow it!

People on AskReddit shared the best ways to make a bad impression, so do the exact opposite of that, okay?

1. Now I’m sad

“Be yourself..?”

2. Very true

“If on a date- treating service industry people poorly.”

3. No

“Lick their face.”

4. Shrug

“Show up late without a good excuse.”

5. A lot of that going around

“Talk about yourself 24/7 and interrupt people.”

6. Not a good way to start

“Create a dumb pet name for that person and let them know.

“And you are?”

“Vicky”

“I’m going to call you Vickers.” “

7. Sup bro?

“Turn up high on mad drugs.”

8. That is very specific

“Wear Oakleys and a backwards hat, have yourself delivered in a large box, then explode out of it to do a dabbing pose with fidget spinners in each hand and vape smoke clouding out of your nostrils.”

9. Never a good idea

“Simultaneously poop yourself and vomit. Does it every time.”

10. That’s odd

“Correct someone when they tell you their name.

“Hi! I’m Joseph”

“Ohh you mean Jonathon!”

“… No..”

11. I know

“Reply with “Yeah, I know.” when they say “Nice to meet you.”

Yes, personal experience. I was the a**hole.”

12. Detailed instructions

“Here is my comprehensive breakdown.

0 Disengage your sense of empathy

1 Don’t let the other person talk about things they care about, but encourage them to go on at length about things that make them uncomfortable. Interupt or divert conversation whenever they look like they might be moving to a topic they find interesting, or even engaging in a non-positive way.

2 Make your physical presence as unpleasant as possible. You want to smell, but not just ‘I don’t wash’ smell, I’m talking hospital smells, post sex smell, wet dog and cheap perfume, vegtable rot all blended together. Make it so that if they try to figure out how those smells got there they would think you had been doing deeply unpleasant things for the day. You want your handshakes, to be limp and strangely damp- always shake hands with the hand you hold your drink, and linger too close. Lean in and whisper. Have bad breath. Make sure your movements are bereft of elegance and grace- preferably jerky or awkward in ways that people instantly think ‘isn’t that uncomfortable’, which in turn makes them uncomfortable. Lopsided, S-spine posture is a must. Make sure your hands are dirty, skin rough, and with jagged nails. Don’t use clippers for those nails, just teeth, and preferably just as you meet someone while going for a handshake with the other hand.

3 Dress with clothes that tell an unpleasant story. Ill fitting is a must, but also things that make it look like you’ve come from somewhere unpleasant and are bringing it with you. Hated subcultures are a must, but be careful. If you are too divisive, you might encourage people of that subculture to engage positively with you- a good trick is to combine things like militant pro-vegan slogan tees with a real fur jacket. Try to make sure your clothes have damage and unfortunate stains.

4 Attitude. You can make a lot of attitudes work, but one thing is your enemy-consistancy. Be loud, be quiet, use big expressive language, use small body language and gestures, be uncomfortably friendly then unreasonably angry. The more moods and emotions you can display in those first moments of meeting, the more unsettling it is.

5 Defy expectations. If there are boundaries, even things as simple as when and where to be, cross them. If there is a list of good ettiquite for where you meet someone, breach every part of it.

6 Last, but certainly not least, practice. Like with any skill, practice makes perfect. Fortunately, most cities have places where you will make a first impression on thousands of people in a day- go out into the world and see what works. Rush hour traffic or christmas shopping, you can practice first impressions anywhere, until people will avoid eye contact and cross the street at a glance.”

13. Passionate fans

“Well the other day i went to my girlfriends house. Mexican soccer final was on.

Her dad asks me “So, which team of the two do you like?”

“Eh, i dont watch soccer much anymore but Las Aguilas del America are okay.”

He turns over and looks at me. Felt like 30 min. Then he finally says “Theyre the only team I can’t f*cking stand.”

So that way.”

14. Sniff sniff

“Shake their hand, and hold onto it for a just little longer than usual. Then bring it up to your nose and take a goooood long sniff. Let out a little moan after. Then carry on like usual.”

15. “This looks boring”

“My company is currently interviewing for a couple of positions. Sometimes, during the second round of interviews, they bring candidates in to the office where they’ll be working, partly so they can see it, and partly so the rest of the team can give their first impressions after they’re gone.

The candidate who was the strongest on paper comes in, and the first thing he says is: “This looks boring.” I don’t think he’ll get the job.”

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Artist’s Adorable Illustrations Reveal the Hidden Side of Relationships

The prospect of a long-term relationship brings up pretty mixed reactions from people. Particularly for those who are single, long-term relationships might seem like a perfect romantic experience where couples sit around and cuddle and feed each other grapes all day. But anyone who’s actually been in a long-term relationship will tell you that that’s just not the case. Sure, there are tons of amazing moments that you’d never trade in a lifetime, but there are also plenty of others that aren’t as picture-perfect as Rom-Coms might have you believe.

But don’t just take my word for it. LA-based artist Amanda Oleander has been documenting the lives of couples behind closed doors and her work is way too relatable. She’s been dating a man named Joey for the past three years and is very open about how much their relationship has influenced her work. “Before I met Joey if anyone told me their love and relationship was like ours I wouldn’t believe it,” Oleander said in an interview with Bored Panda. ” It’s nothing less than amazing. We can’t get enough of each other.”

She went on to say that, “[She’s] enthralled by the way people behave behind closed doors, intimate moments we never get to see. Those are moments that can’t really be documented because if they were, it would alter the way the person behaved. So I draw them.”

You can check out some of Amanda’s work below.

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

That’s as real as it gets.

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Woman Gets Added to a Sexist Group Chat About Her, Puts It on Facebook

Eleanor Henry was a law student at Melbourne University who had something both mortifying and appalling happen to her not long ago.

Her peers were apparently sexualizing and objectifying her in a group chat and… somebody unwittingly added her to it.

Needless to say, she was quickly removed from the chat, but not before she saw everything they had said and took a lot of screenshots. And then she shared (almost) all of it to Facebook.

Get ready for a shockingly sexist ride!

Photo Credit: Facebook

Her Facebook post reads:

“Let’s all wave hello to my fellow peers at Melbourne University. This is why I’ll die a feminist. It’s 2016.. Let’s get back to that conversation on equality.

Oh and for those asking, they accidentally added me to their chat group without realizing I could read everything prior.”

But here’s the thing… Henry was incredibly nice. Because, as she told the Daily Mail Australia, she wouldn’t “publicly name and shame the men.”

Her restraint is even more impressive considering what they wrote:

Photo Credit: Facebook

All that, and they also said, “Bring her to Thailand. We need a bike.”

“Aside from this contact, I have never really engaged with them on a social level,” Eleanor told the Daily Mail. In fact, several of the people in the chat were guys she had never even met before.

Reading the messages made Eleanor feel physically ill, and her sister suggested that she expose this particular “kind of rape culture” by posting the messages to Facebook. (With all the profile pics and names blurred out, of course.)

Apparently, after Henry posted the messages, one of the guys involved begged her to take them down:

Photo Credit: Facebook

Yeah, his case wasn’t terribly convincing, was it? No worry about the ethical implications involved in joking about gang-banging a female friend. Just worried about being caught.

Luckily for him, he and his friends remain anonymous.

On her decision not to name the boys involved, Eleanor explained, “It’s not particularly relevant in achieving the outcome I wish to pursue on a larger scale, which ultimately is to bring awareness about the issue and have people understand that it should not be merely written off as ‘boys being boys.’”

Just more proof that “locker room talk” often has nothing to do with the locker room.

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10+ Times College Professors Were the Actual Best

They say that those who can’t do, teach – and I’ve always thought that if being a writer doesn’t pan out, being a college professor sounds pretty good. Flexible hours, you deal with your students directly instead of having to put up with their parents, and you still get longer holidays.

I mean, what’s not to love — you know, aside from the ass-kissing, publish-or-perish mentality, and the politics that go hand-in-hand with higher education?

No, but seriously, these 11 college professors totally confirm my assumption that their jobs are awesome more often than not, and that the profession attracts the best sort of people.

#1. It’s best not to ask too many questions.

Image Credit: Twitter

#2. It’s cool.

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#3. Yo.

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#4. Even if he’s not in, he’s in…poster-style.

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#5. And possibly hungover.

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#6. You’ve got to meet kids on their level.

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#7. Buckle up, because this ain’t high school.

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#8. Email is hard, yo.

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#9. This made me lol.

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#10. He’s just trying to connect.

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#11. Critique’s still valid, tho.

Image Credit: Twitter

I’m off to apply to grad school!

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Man Who Refused to Give His Seat to a Pregnant Woman Gets Exactly What He Deserves

Let’s face it, chivalry is definitely a lost art these days. People just aren’t as nice as they used to be. If you’ve any doubts as to the truth of those words, just check out this true story by Twitter user Brydie Lee-Kennedy, an 8-months-pregnant woman who did not hesitate to share her tale of woe with the world.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Basically, there was one seat left, she was exhausted and carrying extra weight, and some guy thought his bag (and hand) needed the space more than she did. So, she sat on his hand and his bag, which apparently he still refused to move so they spent the rest of the ride in some sort of silent standoff.

Plenty of other women chimed in to share their stories of similar occurrences. All of them are my heroes, and braver than I would have been in a similar situation, though the discomfort caused by late pregnancy often causes one to lose one’s filter.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

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This one, though, is my favorite. It honestly needs to be a scene in a movie.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Long story short? Don’t be stupid, rude and obtuse. Pay attention to the people around you who aren’t having the best of days.

And get off your ass if a giant pregnant woman is standing near you.

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Physicist Wins “Ig Noble” Prize for His Research on Whether Cats Should be Classified as a Liquid or Solid

The Ig Nobel Prize, awarded by Improbable Research, is a prize that celebrates the lighter side of science by awarding prizes to real, scientifically valid research that probably won’t actually advance mankind at all… but is hilarious nonetheless.

For example, physicist Marc-Antoine Fardin won the Ig Nobel Prize for his research paper on the rheology or deformation and flow of matter…of cats.

Photo Credit: Sad And Useless

A material must be able to modify its form to fit within a container. The action must also have a characteristic duration. In rheology, this is called the relaxation time. Determining if something is liquid depends on whether it’s observed over a time period that’s shorter or longer than the relaxation time.

So with regard to cats, clearly they can adapt their shape to their container if we give them enough time. In conclusion, based on the above theory, cats are a liquid if we give them the time to become liquid.

Photo Credit: Bored Panda

But are cats really a liquid? That remains inconclusive, but Fardin does believe that cats can be a solid or a liquid as he notes in Rheology Bulletin in 2014.

And, for any creature-conscious readers out that, he also mentions that no cats were harmed during his research. Even though they may look a little panicked in those containers, that’s just their faces. Whew!

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15 “Open-Minded” People Share the Seemingly Harmless Actions They Can’t Help but Judge

You know, I consider myself a pretty open-minded, easygoing person. For the most part, I’m content to just do my thing while you do yours.

That said, we all have that one thing we just can’t help but put on our judgy pants about, right? These 13+ people weren’t afraid to share theirs. Are you?

#1. Speakerphone

“People that are having a personal conversation over SPEAKERPHONE with other people in the room. Especially when the conversation is so loud you can’t talk with other people in the room who also have nothing to do with the conversation being had over the phone.”

#2. Move out of the damn doorway

“When people stand in doorways in public. I want to scream. I should not have to say “excuse me.” Moooove out of the damn doorway, it is for walking through!”

#3. No one is in there!

“People who leave lights on in rooms they have left and closed the door on such as a bathroom for example. No one is in there! No one needs any light to see until they arrive to use the bathroom at which point they flick a light switch. It drives me mad.”

#4. Stop acting like a jerk

“People who are rude/hostile to anyone assisting them.

Cashiers, waiters, bank tellers etc. Workers should be able to tell people to stop acting like a jerk. its not hard to be civil. If you can’t be civil don’t ask for help!”

#5. Kids

“I judge people who give their children electronic devices in places like restaurants and let the sound play on speaker. I fully understand that parents want to keep their kids entertained and quiet, but it is pretty inconsiderate to make everyone in a room listen to what your kid is playing just so you don’t have to deal with your own child.”

#6. 10 out of 10 times

“Anyone that has loud music in a public place like a subway or crowded street. That makes me judge that person as an inconsiderate asshole 10 out of 10 times.”

#7. Closing time

“Anyone in a retail store or restaurant who doesn’t respect closing time. I would never ever do this in a million years. People who continue to browse when the store closes in 3 minutes, WHY?”

#8. Just because they’re old

“Old people who think they can cut you in line, just because they’re old..”

#9. Slap people silly

“Passive aggression. It makes me want to slap people silly. Just say what you mean! Unfortunately it is mostly customers who do it so I can’t call them out.”

#10. On their neck or face

“I am heavily tattooed but I find myself judging people with tattoos on their neck or face.”

#11. Savages

“People who dont wash their hands. We live in a world

Of savages”

#12. Wear clothes that fit

“People (usually men, I’m sure women do it but have never seen it) who are super overweight and have a giant stomach that their shirt doesn’t cover so it sort of just hangs out. I don’t care that you’re fat, I’m fat, just wear clothes that fit. Edit: just to clarify, I don’t care about their weight. Seriously I’m obese and I have a huge tummy, I genuinely don’t care if you’re massive, I just don’t want to see your belly.”

#13. Grocery store etiquette

“When customers at the grocery store stop and leave their cart in the middle of the aisle making it impossible for others to pass while they look for their item(s) on the shelf.”

#14. Litterbugs

“People that routinely litter – especially in public parks and beaches.”

#15. Close the damn door

“My girlfriend’s mom will leave the refrigerator door open for 10+ minutes after taking out food to prepare it, before putting the food back in and closing the door.”

Any of these got you nodding right now?

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Girl Tries to Scam Tinder Date for a Free Fancy Dinner, Backfires Spectacularly

If you’re old enough to have dated both pre- and post-Tinder, you know how much the app has changed the game. One little swipe is all it takes now. Still, some things never change: dating was kinda sucky before, and it can still be pretty sucky now.

Instead of finding dates through mutual friends, we end up going out with strangers based on how somebody randomly answered our questions, then sitting across the table from people we don’t know at all, without any idea whether we like them that much.

I mean, how do we end up knowing less about a person despite having talked to them beforehand?!

Imgur user minilogo37 learned all of this the hard way. Because very soon into a Tinder date, he discovered that his “match” was just using him for dinner and drinks.

Photo Credit: Imgur

You can see where this is going, right?

Date orders the most expensive things on the menu.

No attempt at conversation.

Straight up scam city.

Photo Credit: Imgur

But minilogo37 didn’t take it lying down.

He fought back.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Boom.

Commenters were quick to praise him for his response to this nasty situation:

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Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Also, this being the internet, people had other solutions for avoiding this kind of situation:

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

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And yeah, some thought OP was a dick…

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

What say you? Did she deserve it? Should he have stayed and paid?

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15+ of the Best Burns in the History of Facebook

Someone call the doctor and get some ointment, because these people all got BURRRRRRNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD.

Straight-up savagery!

1. It’s true

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2. Hat burn

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3. Back to the future

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4. Grammar burn

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5. Mine too

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6. You asked for it

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7. Burnnnnnnnnnn

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8. That’s real betrayal

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9. He showed them

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10. SBT (sad but true)

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11. That’s what that means

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12. Just like the commercial

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13. This is incredible

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14. Wonder who that’s from?

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15. George Takei for President 2020

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16. Oh, Hugh!

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17. Burn! (And I hope they found him)

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18. Arnie on fire!

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19. It was a long three days

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20. I’m with him

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BURNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNed to a crisp

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