Category: Funny

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Teachers Share the Moment They Knew They Had to Quit

Being a teacher is a hard job, and often a thankless one.

And sometimes the stress and headaches just get to be too much. Teachers of AskReddit shared the stories about how they finally decided they had to quit.

1. Didn’t last long

“I taught middle school science in a small rural district in southern Illinois. The superintendent made a position for his wife in our cash-strapped system. Due to scheduling, it moved me out of a job that I loved, into teaching second grade. I lasted 8 days.

When the superintendent called me to tell me that I was moving, he told me not to get the union involved or fight it. I did give him a piece of my mind while on the phone, and I heard rumors that the move was coming so I made plans to leave.

If people ask me why I left, I just tell them that education has gone from making people learners to too focused on test scores. Students lack critical thinking skills.

I quit for about 1.5 years and went to work at a car manufacturing company. I left there, just wasn’t my thing. And now I’m teaching middle school science in a different district.”

2. Career change

“Good timing. I’ve been teaching high school for about four years. I’ve found the work incredibly gratifying in some ways, but I’ve never been all that happy. I start a new job after Christmas break. My kids don’t know that I won’t be teaching them next semester. :/

Stuff I like:

I really, truly love helping kids learn. I love seeing them discover or rediscover a love for reading and writing.

I’m proud that my students feel safe and cared about when they’re in my room. Some of my best teaching moments have nothing to do with my subject area, but instead come from being that “trusted adult” that’s there for students who are going through tough times and need someone to care about them. I have a drawer full of notes and letters students have written me – I cry every time I look through them.

I’ve worked on two campuses and student taught at a third, and for the most part, I’ve enjoyed the people I’ve worked with.

Obviously, the time off is sweet. Having summers and breaks is super nice.

I don’t think there was a single “straw that broke the camel’s back,” but here are some things that led to be wanting to switch professions:

Not enough planning time. Like, not even close to enough. You get one class period a day, which is often eaten up with all sorts of meetings (504/SST/ARD/etc). I get to work early every day, stay after really late, and I still end up having to grade/lesson plan on the weekend.

Horrible work/life balance. I give a lot to my kids – but someone is always there asking for more. Volunteer on weekends for this or that, sponsor this club, come to sports events, etc. After about a year of teaching I realized that I had stopped having any real life outside of school.

State testing. I’m lucky to work in a district that doesn’t harp on it like others do, but when the test is getting close, it’s all anyone can talk about. It’s not an accurate way to measure student growth and it has a tendency to suck out any natural curiosity kids have about learning. Want to ruin how a person feels about reading and writing for the rest of their lives? Shove standardized test prep down their throats for two months.

Being a performer every day is exhausting. I’m basically not allowed to have a bad day, because the kids need me every day. Also, dealing with subs is THE WORST. I usually go to work even when I feel awful (as long as I’m not contagious), because coming up with sub plans and dealing with the fallout of the kids who don’t know how to behave with someone else in the room is not worth it.

There’s not a lot of room to grow in your career. I knew I didn’t want to be an administrator, so I very quickly felt like I was stuck. I saw old timer teachers around that just seemed beaten down and depressed after 30+ years of teaching, and I didn’t want to end up like that.

The paperwork. I spend so so so so much time dealing with SPED accommodations/504 forms/etc., it’s just unreal.

What it really boils down to, is that it’s impossible for me to be good at my job in every way I’d like to be. I can either 1) plan good lessons that engage the kids, 2) give useful feedback on student work, 3) be a paperwork superstar, or 4) be a teacher that’s involved with extracurricular activities. But I can’t do all of them at the same time, or even most of them. I know I’m a good teacher. My evaluators at each campus I’ve been on have uniformly loved me. I know I’ve been a good influence on many of my students. But I always, always, always, feel like I’m not doing my job good enough. I’m always behind. I have to pick what I think is most important, and just deal with the fallout of not doing the other stuff that well. It’s draining and depressing.

Oh, and cellphones. I know it’s not just a problem for kids, but we’re in the midst of a serious technology addiction problem. Many students are straight up incapable of carrying on a conversation, even with their friends, without staring at their phones every few seconds. Focusing on anything that requires brainpower is legitimately out of the question for some of them. It makes teaching frustrating when you feel like you’re giving it your all, and you look around and realize that some (it’s always just some, but sometimes it feels like most/all) of them would prefer shitposting memes and snapchatting with their friends.

Again, I love my kids, and there’s a lot that I love about teaching, but I have had plenty of moments where I look around the room and think to myself, “fine, fuck this. If you don’t care about your own learning, why should I? Have fun reading and writing like first graders for the rest of your adult lives.” For example, I have one student who has had a seriously horrible life. It breaks my heart, and I’ve spent a lot of my time this year working with him directly, trying to build him up. He’s a “trouble maker” and mouths off and has gotten in plenty of fights. The in-district alternative school won’t take him because of his violent history. This kid desperately needs help and some kind of life path.

He expressed interest in a specific trade, so the administration jumped through hoops to get him into a program that would, for free, enable him to learn that trade and graduate with some kind of certificate or licence. He got kicked out of the program after less than a month because he ignored class and played on his phone all day, so he never even learned the required safety guidelines that he needed to know to operate the equipment he was supposedly interested in learning about. Teens, especially teen boys, have undoubtedly ALWAYS had problems with executive functioning, but cell phones take that natural weakness and turn it into a gaping, infected, life threatening wound.

I knew going into the job that most teachers quit less than five years in. I thought I could handle it. I wasn’t in it for money or glory or recognition. But even in a good district and school, the deck is so stacked against you. I’m not looking forward to telling my kids that I won’t be their teacher next semester. Some of them will be mad, and some will probably cry. I will likely get embarrassingly emotional when I tell them myself. But teaching feels like being in an abusive relationship, and I’m ready to walk away from it.”

3. Walked out

“Crappy, selfish, ignorant staff. They were always bad, but tolerable. My last group refused to do much of anything and bullied me mercilessly. The last straw was when one refused to move to a different classroom and verbally attacked me over it. As if it were my fault. The move was in the best interest of the child.

I basically walked out and my bosses were completely understanding as they saw what I’d been dealing with for ten years. This was a special education room with children with profound disabilities that required a lot of care. I’d been teaching 18 years. Residential facility.”

4. Cliques

“The other teachers were gossipy and cliquey like they had never graduated high school (I started teaching at 30 after having worked in different types of jobs). They talked sh*t about each other all the time. The one teacher they all told me to avoid turned about to be the only teacher I could stand. Like me, she also worked “in the real world.”

The principal wanted me to lower my standards (which were exactly the state standards for that class. Nothing higher) because “they didn’t grow up talking about Shakespeare at the dinner table, like you.” Umm neither of my parents graduated high school so I don’t know why he assumed I was in some over educated household just because I had a few degrees. He was also just a major asshole. (He later was demoted from principal back to a teacher because he was terrible).

The students were okay, but I couldn’t stand the other teachers.”

5. I’m out

“I had a severe ear infection and temporarily lost my hearing for 3 days.

Tried to push through it for the first day but realised that not being able to hear the 30 9-year-olds in my class made teaching them pretty difficult.

I took 2 days off and sent highly detailed plans to the supply who was covering me. This was the only time I took off for the whole year.

I return to work to no less than 10 complaints. Apparently my sick leave was ‘incredibly selfish’ as having a different teacher for 2 days was ‘very confusing’ for the poor darlings, who couldn’t cope.

The Head teacher backed me up and told them to, respectfully, f*ck off but that was very much the last straw.

I’m bending over backwards working weekends and evenings for you and your kid but you can’t afford me a little human decency? I’m out.”

6. Not gonna happen

“Friend of mine quit on the spot when he was asked to change a student’s grade.

The kid missed over 50% of the classes, never handed in homework, did poorly on tests, etc, and ended up failing the class. He truly earned his failing grade. Because his father was an influential member of the school board/generous donor/blah blah blah, they “couldn’t” let the kid have a failing grade on his record.

Summer school was also not an option because the family had already scheduled a vacation during the time that summer classes would be in session. So, the principal told my buddy that he had to change the student’s grade to a passing grade.

My buddy told the principal he would absolutely not sign off on that, and if it was so important to him, to change the grade himself. He then. said “if you do change it, don’t expect to see me back here in September.” Sure enough, the grade got changed, and my buddy packed up his shit and left.”

7. Wild

“My 6th grade substitute science teacher quit in the middle of class. We were wild and unruly. Totally out of control. I watched him rub his forehead in frustration and he stands up, yells “F*CK EVERY ONE OF YOU!”, grabs his briefcase and walks out. It wasn’t singularly my fault but I still feel really bad about it. I’m sorry, Mr. Messina.”

8. Figuratively died

“I was teaching journalism in college.

A student handed in an article, which was supposed to go in a newspaper, that included no research and multiple emoticons.

Emoticons. This was before Buzzfeed.

So I gave the paper an F, and said come talk to me about this. I explained in short form why journalism exists, why it is important, and that his worst grade is dropped so this doesn’t have to hurt him. Hell, I would accept a redo.

The student in question was an athlete in a big state school for throwing balls fast.

I got shit from the dean of students, my department chair, other professorial types. Why wouldn’t I let it go? Was I racist or hate sports or what?

I just wanted him to try a little harder at the thing that was his college major. I used to pick my words so meticulously because communication is so important.

I held to my ethics, he got a tutor after a couple weeks, but it broke me. My mom had died less than a month prior and I had to explain to a college dean why “lol ;)” in the context of a journalistic article about a bar was unacceptable.

My father spent years learning English, and speaks it better than I do. This motherfucker threw balls fast and because of that I was supposed to pass him without question. Let’s go football, but between that and mom dying I could not go on. I figuratively died in that meeting.”

9. Breakdown

“Had a mental breakdown, brought about by stress: curriculum changes, meaning that low ability pupils were constant told that they were not good enough; less money meaning redundancies. Then the pressure of performance related pay with same said disinterested and low ability children. It was either leave teaching or commit suicide. Very supportive family and well paid partner meant that I could stop.”

10. Future felon

“Two things happened at once. After 4 years of teaching seventh grade:

A girl who complained to me for an entire semester of being harassed/groped brought a pocket knife to school and threatened a boy with it if he grabbed her breast again. SHE was expelled. I reported the incidents to administrators, school resource officers, and guidance counselors. They ignored her, me, and her other two teachers until she became that desperate for him to stop. Assholes.

Also, a “troubled” student (read: future felon, now a current felon) saw me walking from the convenience store with my goddaughter. He followed us and found my house. Started riding by, throwing stuff in my yard, yelling obscenities, etc. School resource officer said to go to the police; they said to go go him.

Final straw: he climbed on my fence and shot my dog with a paintball gun. I threatened to quit on the spot so they moved him from my class. Then over Christmas break, he stabbed and ruined my inflatable decorations.

I finished the year and was done. The girl from the first story homeschooled to finish high school, went to college, and just started her P.A. program. The future felon became an actual felon at 18, and is still in jail. Go figure.”

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15 Times Things Went WAY Better Than They Should Have

“Well, isn’t that convenient?” How many times have you said that in your life?

Sometimes the universe just seems to be looking out for you. These AskReddit folks shared the most convenient things that ever happened to them.

1. That worked out

“Was overseas for a conference and I had taken a tour on the weekend before it, and met some peeps. One was a group from America and the other a girl from Germany. As the tour wound down I gave out my email address and told them to contact me so we could do something the following day.

The next day I go have lunch with the Americans first, and I’m on a train back in the direction I’m staying in, but wasn’t too sure around public transport at the time. I get a call from the German girl who asks if I’d like to have coffee with her in a certain suburb. As she says that I look up, the train door opens and it has the suburb name on the wall. I climb off the train, walk out the station and she’s right there.”

2. Cruisin’

“In 2010 my dad was at a hotel across the state. Two things you need to know about my dad: he is always hot, and he is very stubborn. So he goes to open the window in his hotel room but it was jammed and wouldn’t open. So he yanked on it until he popped a tendon in his arm. He went to the hospital and got rushed back to our city, it was a big deal because if he didn’t have surgery within 72 hours he would likely lose use of his arm.

But he got the surgery, workman’s comp paid for it because he had been on a business trip, and all was well. But then the hotel called, saying they wanted to compensate him so that he wouldn’t sue. My dad assured them he is not the suing type, he recognized it was his own fault, etc., and even offered to sign something saying he wouldn’t sue, but they were insistent on providing compensation. So finally, my dad told them he wouldn’t even know what to ask for.

The hotel, who was affiliated with Holland America Cruise Lines, replied and said: “how about a free cruise for four anywhere Holland America sails, and $10000 to get you to the location of the port?” So he said… yeah okay.

So the summer before my senior year of high school, me, my parents, and my best friend went on a Mediterranean cruise that went through Spain, Monaco, Italy, Greece, and Croatia, and the cruise/travel cost us nothing. It was f*cking amazing.”

3. I believe

“Once I was about to get a haircut which would have cost me £9, however I only had £7 as I spend £3 earlier that day. Now I had to get this haircut otherwise I would have been killed by my mum as she is the one who gave me the money for that specific reason.

So there I was sitting and hoping I would be able to negotiate something, with each passing minute I was getting more nervous. When a miracle happened. A man approached me and told me that he is in a hurry and will pay for my haircut if I give him my space. And on that day for a minute I believed in God.”

4. Rolled on in

“I ran out of gas on a long one lane bridge with a gas station at the end on the left side of the road. Had enough momentum to get over the bridge, had a large enough break in traffic to turn left without braking, and saw that one pump was open on the correct side of my car. Rolled into the station and didn’t even need to touch the brake to stop at the pump. I should also mention the bridge was flat so I didn’t have any hills to help me out.

I’m pretty sure my lottery chances are shot with all the luck I blew in that one minute.”

5. Right person at the right time

“I got on the wrong bus and didn’t even realize until it made the first stop. I got off there and was in a panic of what to do since I had to be somewhere at a certain time. The first stop was a college campus I had never been to. I saw somebody going out to her car, who turned out to be a professor, and I went to ask her about a bus that ran from the school. She just asked where I needed to be and she gave me a ride to the place for free. I ran into the right person at the right time.”

6. Boom!

“I started a new job and about 2 months later they announced that everyone was getting laid off as they were moving the billing office to another branch in a different state in a few months.

As an incentive they offered up to $2,000 bonuses for the people who remained the longest to clear up all remaining balances to make the transition more easy. I ended up convincing my old manager at my previous job to re-hire me a few weeks after the announcement.

Months later after I had left I ended up getting a check in the mail for the full bonus amount which I cashed ASAP.”

7. On vacation

“When I was maybe 15 or so, my mom told me to go to the doctor to get health report (for some documentation, it’s a long story). I didn’t want to go, so I lied that I went and the doctor was on vacation. Later, she comes into my room saying, “So, I called the doctor to make sure…”, and I’m like “OH SH*T”, and then she continues “So, you were right, she is on vacation indeed.”

I still can’t believe this happened.”

8. Helping hand

“I was cycling in a very isolated area, exploring my province, when one of my tires blew. I wasn’t even carrying any repair tools with me, so I was left with the only option to walk back 20 miles to the nearest village and either look for help or cancel my trip and take a bus back home. Not 1 minute after I started walking two cyclists appeared on the horizon. They happily fixed my tire and I was able to complete my ride. Montreal – Percé.”

9. Lemme, lemme upgrade

“One time I got into the wrong line when boarding a plane, but the attendant said “go on ahead” and instantly upgraded me to first class.”

10. Might have starved

“Went island camping with a friend of mine on a little sail boat. We did not have a gas stove to heat our food in, we instead had a metal frame that used firewood. Unfortunately, where we landed was void of any sort of wood. I’m convinced this was Deus ex machina at play here , but we conveniently found a store-bought log of firewood in this tiny island. Would have starved without it.”

11. That’s always nice

“Back in 2003 when you could fill at the pump then pay, I filled my car and went in to pay. The guy said that pump didn’t register a sale. Told me to have a nice day. I got around $38 worth of free gas.”

12. That was quick

“Bought a car for $2000. Picked it up and drove it 3 blocks home. Guy across the street sees the for sale sign and asks how much. Tell him I just bought it and he offers me $4500. He goes and gets me cash, I sign it over to him. $2500 bucks made in 30 mins.”

13. Lazy and happy

“Married the girl next door. We were friend and neighbors for almost a decade. We were frustrated being single and did the “hey! wanna date.” After we got married moving her in was a friggin dream! We kept the 2nd apt for 2 months, that was fun too. She didn’t have to change her address. Now that I think about it. We might be the laziest happily married couple.”

14. Easy!

“I had an AMEB piano exam coming up and I was supposed to have prepared two extra pieces, one of which the examiner would ask me to play (but you don’t know which one they’ll pick of course).

One, I had nailed. The other, from the very beginning, was a piece I never really liked much and I’d only learnt the first couple of pages – the rest of the piece would probably sound like someone playing it for the first time. Honestly, I didn’t give that piece nearly as much time as I should’ve.

So I went into that exam just HOPING the examiner would pick my good piece. Exam day came around and the examiner picked the piece I could only half play. CRAP.

Then, by some incredible alignment of the stars, she says ‘I’ll just get you to play to the end of the second page.’

Yes, of course Mrs Examiner, easy!”

15. A dream

“The job description literally was “off-role job, you have been notified”

I thought it was a joke, I applied on it anyway. Turns out Its one of the biggest Automobile giants in world desperately needing a graphic designer who is ready for an off-role job.

Its EXACTLY 12 minutes ride on Motorbike to and 17 minutes fro.

Got a chill boss who’s barely 9 years older than me and completely fine with me showing up 45 minutes late to work EVERYDAY as long as the work is done before I leave ON TIME.

When asked about the funny job description, she grilled the HR dept about funky job description.

some perks of my job

An hour late on job is acceptable EVERDAY. (due to my boss’s designation)
Mostly leave on time 5 minutes give or take extra
A less polite conversation makes my boss thinks she is scolding me and 5 minutes later she politely but professionally apologizes for ‘yelling’ at me. LOL
Can take up to 3,15-20 minutes break excluding lunch break
Company has an agency already hired who does half of my work. (I’m there for emergency creatives)
This is absolutely a dream job for a second job.”

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18 Tweets That Perfectly Capture the Struggle That Is Adulthood

English playwright Oscar Wilde once said, “Youth is wasted on the young.”

I often think about this quote when I ride in to work everyday and consider what I’ve done with my life. Because we had all that time! And what did we do with it? Eat gummy fruits and watch reruns? Why wasn’t I investing in stocks?!

Thankfully, there’s Twitter. Where comedians hang out and tweet funny shit that we can all relate to. Sure, it can be depressing to think about how your life has turned out so far, but at least we can all laugh at it.

Right? We can laugh at it?! It’s funny right?! RIGHT?!?!

I kid. Let’s have fun.

1. So much me. So much.

2. I enjoy “cooking”

3. 4 hours at least. 6 hours at the most.

4. What a pain!

5. I read lots of Böökes

6. Stop jumping! I want to get back on my feet!

7. Wait… how much is THAT?

8. Why doesn’t anybody stop me from doing these things?!

9. I didn’t ask for this!

10. Too expensive!

11. I scream! And… that’s it. I just scream.

12. MINE!

13. Q: What do you want to be when you grow up? A: An employee, apparently.

14. Drugs help.

15. Time works differently now.

16. OMG. This is so true!

17. It’s basically Netflix. That’s my existence. Thanks.

18. Can I hire a domineering mom for another 5 years?

Okay, that settles it. Ice cream and thin mints for dinner.

To the dollar store!

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15 Singles Discuss What They Love Most About Their Lifestyle

These days, I’m quite happily married, but it wasn’t that many years ago that I was living the single life. While I’m definitely happier today than I was then, there are definitely some parts of the single life that were pretty great.

There are a lot of perks, as these 15 people are quick to point out.

#1. My entire social battery.

I can do what I want whenever I want!
Well, actually I still gotta help my family and go to work and that pretty much drains my entire social battery.

#2. Not getting dragged into lame events.

Not getting dragged into lame events with her family that essentially ruin my weekend.

“Oh no, I totally want to drive three hours and hangout with your family this weekend. I had these crazy plans to relax, maybe go for a bike ride, have some beers by pool, go to a movie with our friends, etc. But you’re right, lets drive three hours away to listen to your family argue about politics, eat bland food, and sleep on a futon. Sounds great.”

#3. What I love about being single.

All of my shit is exactly where I left it when I get home.

My bed is still made, my dishes are still done, my food is still there, my clothes are still clean, and nothing is missing from my cash stash.

If I want to stay up late and watch movies or listen to music, I can.

If I want to go to bed early, and use the whole damn bed, I can.

If I want to go out and have a few drinks with my friends, I can.

I never have to laugh at unfunny memes’ found on FaceBook, or explain why I’m laughing so hard at anything.

I never have to justify my joy.

I’m my own person. Full, complete, and content.

And no one can drain that from me.

This is what I love about being single.

#4. So much space!

Being able to sleep diagonally across my bed, so much space !

#5. The same goes for me.

No one has to deal with my shit, and the same goes for me. Dunno how I’d handle that.

#6. Free of the constant anxiety.

I’m free of the constant anxiety of if I’m being a good boyfriend.

#7. No obligations.

the fact that I have no obligations to anyone on a daily basis (outside of my family and shit). all I gotta do is worry about myself. also I get to use all my money for me

Edit: Thanks for the silvers and all the replies, even the ones who disagree, I enjoy hearing your perspectives.

#8. When you put something somewhere.

No longer single but the fact that when you put something somewhere IT FUCKING STAYS THERE!!!

Edit : thank you for gold and silver!

#9. The thing I miss most.

married father here chiming in.

The thing I miss most about being single is the ability to act purely in your own self-interest without having any sense of guilt or responsibility to another person. And I’m not even talking about something with high stakes — I’m talking about something as simple as wanting to eat an entire bag of skittles without sharing with another person.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sacrificing for my family and sharing any and every thing I have with my wife and kid, but when you’re single, you have the ability and right to make every tiny decision based on your own self-interest or selfishness, and that’s something I sometimes miss on a very simple rudimentary level.

#10. Not worrying about their success.

I enjoy not worrying about their success. Life can be difficult, so supporting an SO and putting personal struggles on the back burner to do so can be exhausting.

Overall, a healthy relationship is still my favorite… but single is much better than an unhealthy one.

Obligatory Edit: Holy karma! Thank you everyone! I’m so happy that so many of you found some value in this post. I’m in the middle of a divorce and had been habitually putting myself second to my wife, so I’ve really been trying to convince myself this is true. All these fake internet points reassure me in my thinking and make me feel pretty great, so I really appreciate you all. Please stay awesome! ?????

#11. Delightfully selfish.

I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I can spend money on myself with zero regard for what anyone else thinks. I don’t have to factor anyone else into my plans or life decisions.

It can be lonely sometimes, but it’s also delightfully selfish.

#12. I don’t have to choose.

i don’t have to chose between hanging with my friends or my SO.

#13. Best of all…

Not having to share a bed.

Not having to share your food.

Your space. Your free time. Your time out with friends.

​

But best of all …

​

Not having to have unnecessarily long discussions on where to eat.

#14. Stuff can just happen.

That stuff can just happen. If I want to change my entire weekend plans, bam – done. If I stumble upon a thing that happens and want to participate, boom – done. If I don’t want to talk to anyone, ka-blam – done.

#15. Exactly where it should be.

Everything in my car and apartment is exactly where it should be.

Try not to be jealous, coupled people. We have perks, too.

Just not the same ones.

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Long-Lost Dog Siblings Reunite, and They Recognize Each Other Instantly

Adopting a dog is awesome, but the one drawback is that you don’t often know much about where the dog came from. Shelters might tell you about the dog’s temperament or a little about its past, but they won’t know things like what siblings your dog might have floating around out there.

That’s what makes these stories so special – against ridiculous odds, these dogs who once knew each other were somehow reunited. And, thankfully, their owners were able to capture the moment on camera.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @shinykatie

Photo Credit: Twitter: @Melyssious

Photo Credit: Twitter: @jeremiahspiller

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People Share The Rudest Assumptions Someone Has Made About Them

I wish more people would stop making assumptions about someone without knowing anything about them It’s so prevalent, and a lot of times we do it without even realizing.

What really sucks is when people assume the worst about you.

1. MRStaken

I have an undercut for my hair and wear it to the side, it almost hits my shoulder. I get misgenedered all the time because of this.

Apparently people look right beyond the facial hair and just call me miss, ma’am, lady, or whatever. Pretty much whenever this happens I just laugh it off because its kinda funny honestly and people make mistakes. I make sure they don’t feel bad about it when they realize it or just let them go and not correct them, its whatever.

But sometimes people get shitty and try to argue with me about why do I look like a girl. So I’d say thats pretty fuckin rude.

The assumption is whatever, just continuing to pester and get shitty to me about it is what I think is really rude about the whole thing.

2. Guys… stop saying this!!!!

That I can’t possibly be smart enough to do my job (security side of tech) because I’m an attractive woman. (Not assuming here – have had guys say this to me explicitly.)

It did help quickly weed out the assholes while I was dating, though.

3. A mediocre friend…

I was hanging out a friend and it had been about a month after we had met etc, and they said, “The best thing about you is that you’re happy being mediocre”.

This felt especially bad as at that time in my life, I had just had a string of failures and was already pretty down.

4. Why you so judgey old lady?

I was in target and stopped to look at a really cute swim suit for a baby that was on display in the aisle.

Two older ladies passed by and one of them said “she’s way too young to have a child” nose in the air.

I was in my mid 20s, probably the same age or older than she was when she had kids.

5. Again, trade jobs pay really well. People need to wise up.

That I’m probably just some uneducated immigrant who can’t speak English.

I’m Mexican, I drive a truck for a living. I make more doing this than putting my bachelor’s to use.

I don’t talk much because I’m tired, grumpy and depressed all of the time.

6. You WISH you made what he does…

I went to walmart while taking a break from painting the nursery. I was fairly spattered in paint and trying to pick a pizza. I heard a lady tell her kid “that is why you go to school so you don’t have a job like that”. There are layers to just how fucked up that was. Not the least of which is house painters can make pretty decent money.

7. When HR needs to apologize…

At a past employer someone complained to HR that I was allegedly playing inappropriate Rap music and too loudly at my desk.

I get called into HR to explain myself and told them it wasn’t me…it was the white guy sitting two desks behind me and he came in to admit it because he didn’t think it was such a big deal to be in trouble for.

It was probably the fact that since I was the only black guy where I sit in a certain part of the office, they just naturally assumed it was me.

You can imagine the sheer embarrassment on part of HR that came after.

8. Are they counting inner beauty?

“Why won’t you date her? Are you gay?”

“No, I just don’t like her”

“But she is prettier than you… ”

Happens strangely often, even if not with those exact words.

9. At this point… how do people not realize video games are entertainment like everything else?

That I’m lazy because I really enjoy videogames.

Bitch, I have a full-time job, house, car, wife, and a dog.

I also do most of the cooking, cleaning, dog-walking, and general chores around the house because my wife works crazy hours.

Lazy my ass.

10. So this one actually probably hurt quite a bit.

That I was stupid enough not to figure out that the guy I had a crush on in middle school was paid to go on a date with me as a joke.

10+ years later I’m still pissed.

Though based on how he’s doing now I dodged a real bullet there lmao

11. Just like a bad movie…

Well… There was the time I was an engineering student at a very well respected school and a mother told her son to make sure to get good grades so he didnt end up working in a movie theater like me. To my face.

I liked working there and did it because I was early in college and needed some extra cash.

I guess everyone that works at a movie theater is just a dumbass then instead of high school/college kids like we all were.

So that was pretty shit.

12. Good for you mom!

That I was being horribly disrespectful in a church ceremony.

In reality I was my little sisters Confirmation sponsor (Catholic rite) and was also in end stage liver failure. Was on lots of meds for pain and my brain was marinating in ammonia so I had several head drops (like when you’re falling asleep) during the 2 hour mass. Woman next to me berates me for being ‘so rude and disrespectful’

Luckily my mom found her afterwards and tore her a new one.

13. Not an only child

My (only) sister died when I was 15, when people I don’t particularly know or like very well ask me if I have siblings, I usually just say no – I don’t like to talk about it and it’s a conversation killer. But it’s surprising how many have replied with: ‘oh, only child? You must have been spoiled.’

I love then saying: ‘well I had a sister but she died.’ The look on their face is priceless ? Keep your judgements to yourselves, people.

14. Gender bender

When I was working at Best Buy in my teens/early 20’s, people would ask me to my face if I could go and get a “male” worker to answer their questions because they felt “more comfortable” asking them about it (stuff like game consoles, cameras and equipment, ipods, that was the area I worked in).

The fun part was watching the customers faces malfunction that male coworker would walk them back over to me, because I knew what I was doing in that department and they only knew their stuff when it came to TVs or washers and dryers.

15. Well, that’s quite a sales pitch…

A girl I met for a date on an app once said to me at the end of the date that I should see her again because a guy of my height won’t have many options.

16. Not zee person you thought he was…

I am a german living abroad so i have a german accent.

Also since i have had a receding hairline since my teens i have a short hair cut.

So yeah you’d be suprised how many times held me for a nazi.

My father and I were in Prague when we heard an English woman say to her friend, about us, ”they look so British they can’t be British”, which I don’t think was a compliment.

Okay, we were British but I think that was a bit uncalled for.

17. Hugs, not drugs

I have ADHD so I talk fast, I’m super tall and lanky and also suffer from all year around allergies.

Multiple times I’ve been told I have a cocaine addiction.

18. “Fuckular”

Just because I have these muscular fuckular forearms, babes are always asking me to twist the caps off of everything.

The truth, I have really soft under hands, and caps tear me up really good.

Well, that was uncomfortable.

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10+ Memes That Will Definitely Make Your Day More Bearable

I don’t care what time of day it is, we need memes 24/7.

They lift us up, they make us laugh and they never let us down.

So tuck into these dozen, internet-generated LOLS and pass some along to your friends if you think they’re worthy.

1. Stop it apps!

Photo Credit: Someecards

2. Struggles all day, every day…

Photo Credit: Someecards

3. We all have worries!

Photo Credit: Someecards

4. If you’re dead, you can’t be embarrassed.

Photo Credit: Someecards

5. Some of us are great at improvising…

Photo Credit: Someecards

6. My girl!

Photo Credit: Someecards

7. Not before noon!

Photo Credit: Someecards

8. Can’t stop, won’t stop.

Photo Credit: Someecards

9. Where is this magical beast and how can I pet her immediately?!?

Photo Credit: Someecards

10. Why do you do this to me?!

Photo Credit: Someecards

11. OH! So that’s how science works!

Photo Credit: Someecards

12. I’d buy it!

Photo Credit: Someecards

Okay, you can go back to work or lunch or sleeping.

We’ll have more memes later. Promise.

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Want Wendy’s to Roast You? Just Ask

Wendy’s is known for their fresh-never-frozen beef patties, but they’re apparently great at bringing the heat to more than just burgers!

Wendy’s has one of the greatest Twitter accounts out there, and they’re always happy to roast you with some killer zingers. They’re so good that some people are even requesting to be roasted online.

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

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Photo Credit: Twitter,Wendys

Zing!

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11 Real, Public Breakups That Got Seriously Awkward

Breaking up is never easy. But breaking up in public? Brutal.

These AskReddit users recall the times they witnessed the most embarrassing public breakups, and one reluctant marriage acceptance, ever.

Photo Credit: Need 2 Know

Photo Credit: Need 2 Know

1. Tears of Joy? No? Awkward.

“I work at a fine dining restaurant and we always have proposals. One night, the guy at my table sneaks away to tell me he’s planning on proposing during dessert. He was really nice and super excited, so I decided to throw in some celebratory drinks and a framed picture free of charge to make the moment memorable for the couple. So I’m standing around the corner from the table holding two champagne flutes, chocolate covered strawberries on a plate covered in rose petals, and a digital camera to take the picture for the frame. As I come around the corner with all my gifts, I realize they are both bawling. I’m still thinking they are tears of joy, so I start snapping some pictures, completely oblivious. It wasn’t until I asked if I could see her ring and she DECLINED (which never happens) that I recognized how mortified both of their faces were. I walked away super fast after I realized I just made a failed marriage proposal 10 times more awkward by forcing them to celebrate it.”

2. Heartbreak

“Once at my Italian restaurant, a man and woman came in and sat, looking pretty pissed at each other. Very nice looking, business attire, mid forties. They had menus and their waitress asked them a few times but all they got was one glass of merlot, and they sat and talked for hours. I was the closing waitress, so I was there for the whole ordeal. I got a bit busy, and when I looked back over, the woman was gone, and the man was sitting there alone, and just looked so freaking empty it was incredible. I went by to check on him since I sent the other girl home, and he just looks up and asks if he can borrow a phone. Twenty minutes later a car pulls up and he leaves and I never saw either of them again. But it was hands down a totally heartbreaking end for the man.”

3. Guilt: One Way to Get a “Yes”

“I worked at an Italian restaurant in college. One afternoon, this guy lets us know that he’s going to propose to his GF later that night. He has flowers and balloons delivered. He kept on saying he wanted a lot of people to witness it and asked for the staff to gather around and video the proposal. So there are 10 of us standing there, staring at them, holding balloons. He pops the question. She just sits there. She doesn’t smile AT ALL. She looks around at all of us, and quietly says “yes.” The guy freaks out and starts crying and laughing and started hugging the waitstaff. This chick was clearly not into it, the guy probably knew and so he made her feel so uncomfortable that she felt like she had to say yes. Yikes.”

Photo Credit: Huffington Post

Photo Credit: Huffington Post

4. Free Cake

“I saw a failed marriage proposal. It was so awkward cause the guy had a cake made and everything. He said he didn’t want it anymore and left the cake. So I’m like sitting in the back eating a cake that says “Julie, Marry me?” with a bunch of other servers. It was delish.”

5. Not-So-Amusing Amusement Park

“I was at the amusement park with some friends. They have a little girl, so we were in line for a kiddie ride. There was a couple right behind us, and you could hear the mom arguing with the dad about never including her in anything and how she wasn’t wanted in his life, she wasn’t important to him, etc. He was trying to hush her which only pissed her off more. They weren’t loud or anything and I doubt anyone outside of the people right in front of them (me) and behind them could overhear. Anyway, she ends up saying, “Don’t tell me to shut up. Don’t tell me anything. Don’t ever talk to me again. I’m leaving.” And she left.

I didn’t ride with my friends and their kid, but I stayed behind to take photos/video of them. Looking at the pics/video is pretty heartbreaking. You see all these happy people and then there’s the dad and his son. The son is plenty happy because he was too young to realize the significance of the fight, but the dad is sitting there holding back tears, flashing a sad smile to his son whenever he turned to look at him and going right back to depressed when his son turned away.”

6. Cat Fight

“Not quite a break-up, but I had a table of two women, and one of them apparently told the other that she had been sleeping with her boyfriend. I was about 30 feet away, I just heard yelling, the one being cheated on ran outside crying to smoke, then came back inside yelling about what a stupid whore the other was. It was 30 minutes ’til close, they were literally the only guests we had, so they weren’t bothering any other tables, so my manager didn’t have to intervene or anything. Cooks were coming out of the kitchen to watch after I told them what was going on. My own personal Maury Povich show. It was EXTREMELY awkward delivering the check, though.”

7. Old People

“I was a waiter at a retirement home. One day a couple that had been married for 30 or 40 years divorced overnight. Next day, the man was in the dining room, talking and flirting with the other ladies while his “ex” was nowhere to be seen. The next day they were together again. They acted like they were still married and nothing had happened. Old people are fuckin’ weird.”

8. Soften the Blow

“My current SO very early on in our relationship was having second thoughts but I didn’t know. He invited me to lunch and I show up excited to see him. He buys me a shot and orders us margaritas. I was stoked to see him in such a happy mood. Turns out he was trying to maybe lessen the effects of the breakup? I’m not sure. Very bad move. He starts giving me the break up talk and I’m sitting there dumbfounded because it came out of nowhere. I burst into tears and am being pretty loud in speaking back to him, I’m sure the whole restaurant noticed. I tried to keep my composure but I just couldn’t. I ended up storming out attempting to hide my tear ridden face. My SO followed me and we fought more outside at the corner of the restaurant. So very awkward.”

Photo Credit: Date Dialogue

Photo Credit: Date Dialogue

9. Speechless

“This couple was arguing – very loudly at that – about their problems in the relationship. Well one thing led to another and then a woman screams out: “Oh yeah? WELL I FUCKED YOUR DAD!” The poor guy didn’t even know what to say. He was so dumbfounded that he just sat there while she stormed out.”

10. Public Dumping

“I have been unexpectedly broken up with in public. From my point of view, my then boyfriend and I were just grabbing drinks between the time I got off of work and he had to go into work. We went to a bar we frequented often, so we knew the majority of the staff and many of the regulars. I was completely blindsided when he broke up with me on their incredibly crowded outdoor patio. People were literally only a few feet away from me in each direction and no doubt some were able to overhear what was going on. I was so hurt, but I was even more embarrassed. Trying to act cool when you get your heart broken in public is not easy. At one point our waitress was heading over to check up on us, and I made accidental eye contact with her (I say accidental because I didn’t want anyone to see that I was crying and had just lifted my head for a moment). The look on her face said it all and she immediately turned around and pretended like she wasn’t just about to walk over to us. I can imagine it was pretty awkward for her, especially because she knew who both of us were.”

11. Dinner and a Show

“My husband and I were out to eat at an awesome sushi bar on a weekend. It is packed and we were sitting at the u-shaped sushi bar. Most people at the bar there eat omakase style (you don’t order, just tell the chef what you don’t like and he just gives you sushi and small plates until you say stop, its a social thing and you are interacting with the chef a lot so he knows what direction to go next). Next to us is a couple in their early 50s or so, no rings. The guy calmly tells the woman right after they sit down that he’s been cheating on her and she can deal with it or not, he doesn’t care. She understandably gets upset, but is trying not to make a scene, so she asks them to leave so they can talk in private. He says “no” and just keeps hoovering down sushi. She is crying and asks the usual questions: what did I do wrong, what do they have/do that I don’t, do you even are about me, etc. He answers her in great sexual detail why all of these other women are better than her in bed, critiques her BJ technique, tells her he doesn’t like her haircut, just awful things, in between talking to the chef about his food. By this point the both of them are oblivious to the fact that the 25 other people at the bar can all hear them and are super uncomfortable. I gather that he drove them there and she doesn’t have a phone. I put my phone on the bar and wordlessly offer it to her to call someone to come get her. She starts bawling harder and says that she can’t call anyone because they live hours away and came to the city for a romantic getaway. He shrugs and they go back to arguing. This goes on for about 45 mins. He ate all her food too. When he is finally done, they pay and leave. The chef apologizes to all of us for that and pours a sake shot on the house for us. It was the most awkward dinner ever. I have no idea why the dude picked that moment to tell her this. Just before he started, they had asked us what we were having and seemed to be fine with each other.”

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Instagram Account Pointing out Church Leaders Wearing Expensive Designer Shoes Sparks Online Debate

Ok, this is absolutely brilliant. A new Instagram account called PreachersNSneakers is calling out church leaders who have huge social media followings by showing the designer shoes that they wear and how much those kicks cost.

It started off as a joke between Tyler, the account’s creator, and his friends, but it’s grown into something much bigger since then.

As of this writing, the account has 125,000 followers and has blown up very quickly. Tyler said he created the account because “It started out as me being interested in sneakers and being involved with church culture … so those two things made for good comedic content.” He added, “This whole thing spun out of me sitting on my couch one Sunday. I was looking for this one song on YouTube and saw the lead singer in this worship band was wearing Yeezy 750s.”

Tyler quickly noticed a trend happening with church leaders he followed on Instagram: many of them wear expensive swag. He said, “I started questioning myself, ‘What is OK as far as optics…as far as pastors wearing hype or designer clothing?’ I don’t have an answer.” But, Tyler thinks to “have a discussion about what is appropriate” in regard to this topic.

The reactions have been varied, some people think the page is funny and others have been offended and believe it points out the hypocrisy of religion in America. One commenter said, “There’s a lot of money in the God business.”

Here are some more photos from the account. Be sure to scroll through the comments on the photos to get a taste of both sides of the argument.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Share in the comments!

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