Check Out Some of the Weirdest Things Found in Guys’ Bathrooms

Men have weird bathrooms. I already knew this, as a dude who’s done my share of odd bathrooming, but I didn’t know it as hard as I know it now that I’ve scrolled through this tweet thread.

The horrors and oddities you will find here can never be unseen, so be warned. Be they from a house, apartment, dorm, school, or just a plain ol’ public men’s room, the things shown and described here defy all reason and are sure to leave you changed forever… to some degree.

But if you’re curious still, scroll on. And see what Twitter hath for thee.

11. The combo

For those keeping score at home, this would appear to be some ungodly hybrid of a plunger and a “toilet” brush.

10. Safety first

I cannot fathom how this is working.

9. No words

We’ll have no bones about it.

8. Jeff go boom

You were so busy trying to find out if you could do it that you forgot to ask if you should.

7. Bird is the word

He is clearly trying to think something through, please leave him be.

6. Orange you glad?

The juice is most definitely loose.

5. Absolutely blinding

Honestly I could maybe use something like that.

4. Storage solutions

We’ve found it. We’ve found the single most “Kyle” photo that will ever grace the internet.

3. Magically delicious

I have so many questions and I want none of them answered.

2. Super sword

Um. Why.

1. Be my guest

My companion, my second, my number two, if you will.

I may never poop again.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a bathroom?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Check Out Some of the Weirdest Things Found in Guys’ Bathrooms appeared first on UberFacts.

A Woman’s Question Kicks Off Weird Parade of “Boy Bathroom” Discoveries

Twitter user @JodieeGrace may or may not have known what she was getting herself into when she tweeting the following:

Far from being an isolated incident of weirdness, responses on Twitter began to pour in by the thousands. You may think you know the sort of thing you’re about to see, but trust me, you probably don’t.

Some were text descriptions while other provided photo or even video receipts, some were from private homes while others originated in public bathrooms or shared dorm facilities. No matter where they came from, the message was clear: we guys gotta get our s**t together when it comes to bathrooms.

10. White boy summer

Hey man, you gotta let it grow somewhere.

9. Bag it up

Some kid out there very nearly understands how a toilet works.

8. What’s the story?

Actually nevermind, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to hear it.

7. Soup’s on

Why was somebody eating in the bathroom and how sure are you that that was soup?

6. Taking a dump

It’s hard work, but somebody’s gotta do it.

5. Dear diary

Been sitting here for as long as I can remember now.
I may literally be getting too old for this s**t.

4. Only the essentials

I get the magazine but why the country cro-oooooooh.

3. Drip drip drip

“My lights are leaking.”
“Are you high again?”
“Yes but that’s irrelevant.”

2. Morning snack

This is gonna put me off my dinner, I swear.

1. Travel the world

Ah the glorious life of a pilot.

Well, that’s enough of that. You only get one set of eyes in this life.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a bathroom?

Tell us in the comments.

The post A Woman’s Question Kicks Off Weird Parade of “Boy Bathroom” Discoveries appeared first on UberFacts.

What’s the Stupidest Thing Someone Paid You to Do? People Responded.

I don’t think I’ve ever done anything really stupid for money before.

At least nothing that I can remember…

But who knows, maybe something I did late one night for a few bucks is buried so deep in my psyche that I’ll never recover it again. And that might be a good thing…

Have you ever been paid to do something pretty stupid?

Let’s see what folks on AskReddit had to say about this.

1. Easy money.

“I got paid $1,000 to have giant balloons attached to me and hand out temporary tattoos of Fox animated shows (Family Guy, Bob’s Burgers, etc) at ComicCon for 3 days.”

2. Just kickin’ back.

“I did an event for a national association for deaf people at which they did every presentation in ASL.

I am an audio engineer, who specializes in live sound and concerts. I did nothing for 5 days of show, $450 a day”

3. Good company.

“When I was 19, I meet an heiress (I think she was in her fifties).

She paid me $20 an hour to go to lunch with her. She would take me to five star restaurants and we would shoot the s**t for 1-2 hours every week. That is literally all she wanted from me… to sit and eat lunch with her at a fancy restaurant.

It was nice, I was poor so that extra 20-40 bucks a week made a big difference and I got to eat some of the best food in Houston. She was a nice lady. I taught her how to pump her own gas and took her to a grocery store for the first time in her life. She taught me proper table manners and that not all rich people are narcissistic jerks.”

4. I’ll take it!

“$175 to do some kind of user study at Netflix.

II show up in the lobby and then they go, “actually we got the data we needed from the studies earlier today, you’re free to go!”.

Still got paid!”

5. Whatever you say!

“I got paid $10,000 to leave an apartment because the new owner wanted to move in.

I was the tenant under the previous owner. I had 4 months left in my rental contract.

This was in Barcelona.”

6. Wow.

“Had a WFH gig working sort of as a personal assistant for a rich guy on the opposite coast from me.

I did all kinds of wacky s**t for him. For example, one time I had to break up with my boss’s girlfriend because he was too wimpy to do it himself. Rly, weird s**t like that was literally my job.

One day, I bought him a new pickup truck. Meaning, I negotiated the deal and paid for the truck with his credit card. All in all, I’d say the process probably took about two weeks, for which I was paid my usual wage at six hours per day. No big deal.

Somehow, his dad found out about the new truck and he decided he wanted a new pickup truck too. He called me about a week after I bought the truck for my boss and said he’d pay me $2,000 to buy a truck for him. I called the same dealership back, spoke to the same salesman, told him what was up and basically said give me another truck, same price as before. The salesman was only too happy to comply.

It took ten minutes to make the phone call and then a day or two to get the title and other paperwork sorted out. So, depending on how you look at it, I made $2,000 for just ten minutes worth of “work”.

Somehow, my boss’s rich friend found out about all this. He decided he wanted a new SUV. “OhYeahThrowItAway, you have to buy it for me!” I told him the last time I bought someone a vehicle, I got paid $2,000. The friend was basically like “F**k it, I’ll pay you $3,000, just get it for me” and then he emailed me his wish list.

That deal took a little longer, maybe two weeks.

I made $5k extra in just two months buying vehicles for lazy (or dumb) rich people.”

7. No snow in the forecast.

“Got paid $300 to shovel my neighbors front steps and driveway while she was away on vacation all winter.

It did not even flurry once.”

8. That was quick.

“I was paid $300 to move my car for a movie that was filming by my apartment.”

9. It’s a bet.

“Waiter said it was impossible to lick your elbow.

I informed him I could do it.

He bet me $5 I couldn’t do it.

I increased my net worth by $5.”

10. Don’t go in there.

“I got asked to do 2 hours of barrier watch (Guarding a barrier ribbon while a crew did x rays inside a power plant).

This was asked last minute after a 12 hour shift so the bonuses of staying happening to be a Sunday, etc I was being paid $110 to stand and play on my phone and make sure sure nobody tried to pass all the DO NOT ENTER DANGER DANGER signs during a time of day with minimal personnel.”

11. Sitting around.

“Twenty five years ago, and in Indiana, the law was that in order to operate nail salon, someone there must hold a full cosmetology license, not just a nail technician license.

A nail salon opened next to the hair salon I worked at and they all held nail technician licenses and the one who held a cosmetology license would be delayed in Korea for a week for whatever reason. At 18 years old, I was paid $25 an hour to merely to sit in the nail salon as the “holder of the license.”

I answered no phones, tended to no clients, did nothing but paint my own nails repeatedly and watch tv for an entire week. Was a sweet, sweet gig.”

12. Whatever you want.

“$1325

The guy wanted a drawing of his pony having s** with a bunch of balloons shaped like various cartoon characters in a massive collage. My rate charges per character per fetish, and he came to me fully prepared to dump $1500 on the complete commission after adding it all up himself.

I gave him a discount since even I felt like it was insanity. I probably should have charged the full amount since it did end up taking me 2 weeks to do on and off just from burnout at drawing the same style balloon over and over just in different shapes, but that was definitely the most silly/dumb commission I’ve ever had, or at least the most I’ve been commissioned for something dumb/silly.”

Have you ever done anything really dumb for money?

If the answer is YES, please tell us all about it in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post What’s the Stupidest Thing Someone Paid You to Do? People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes to Totally Devastate the Internet

The internet’s not prepared for what’s about to hit it.

I mean it. Get to your bunkers. Batten down your hatches. Get somebody out here to explain to me what hatches are and how to batton them. Because we’re about to get serious.

With memes.

Memes that will go down in history as “that one particular set of memes that got posted that day, which were subsequently scroll through by that one extremely attractive person with excellent taste in internets.”

This is that moment. We’re living it now. Let’s begin.

10. Life hack

Let’s just put a pin in that plan for the moments.

9. You can’t be serious

I’m not playin’ games here, mom and dad.

8. An open question

You know they’ve seen closed doors before. You know it. They know it.
And yet ignorance is forever feigned.

7. Question time

“Listen homework is cool and all, but when can we learn more about YOU?”

6. PP problems

I have powers so great that even I don’t always understand them.

5. Live and learn

Box office SMASH!

4. Nine times the fun

Hey man, I’ll take it.

3. Super speed

There are certain instincts we’re all just sort of born with.

2. Hanging out

Pay no attention to the events which came before.

1. Mom’s spaghetti

Oh man, don’t give Em that kind of ammo.

See? What did I tell ya? Absolutely epic.

What’s the best meme you’ve seen around lately?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes to Totally Devastate the Internet appeared first on UberFacts.

Tweets for People Who Are Perpetually Single

There are people out there who, once they’re out of a relationship, are immediately getting back into the game, and within a week or two are probably dating someone new.

I’ve never understood that. I don’t get it. It takes me forever to recover. And I know I’m not alone in that. I know that a lot of y’all, like me, are pretty much perpetually single, and that it’s a state of mind that you kind of get used to and learn to laugh at, because, hey, it’s your thing.

To help us laugh along about it, here are some funny tweets. From single Twitter funny peeps.

10. The cycle continues

Look, it’s been a very long afternoon, we’ve been through a lot together.

9. Lonely hearts club

Hey now, let’s not make any sweeping conclusions.

8. The big sleep

And they said that romance was dead.

7. Hoping and praying

And how has that gone for you so far?

6. The realization

The grass is always greener on the other side of the bed.

5. So extra

Ooo, look at me, I can afford “avocado” and “breakfast.”

4. Unsolved mysteries

We can’t know. There’s just no way to know.

3. Remember these steps

It might just save your life.

2. The cold light of day

To be fair, nothing is as fun sober.

1. Red flag alert

Cut your losses and live your life.

Being single can be a drag but it’s not all bad. I mean, consider this: you get all the oreos to yourself.

What’s the best part of being single to you?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tweets for People Who Are Perpetually Single appeared first on UberFacts.

Check Out Some of the Most Brutal Burns on the Internet

The internet is really just a place where we go to fight with each other in new and innovative ways.

Luckily, some of those ways are actually funny, and some fighters use their knowledge and wits to make the battle as sophisticated and satisfying as it is brutal.

Such is the way with these particular entries. Players – start!

14. If you don’t like it, leave

It’s fun to pair your heartlessness with insults so everybody knows right away you don’t actually care what happens to anybody who isn’t you.

13. Over the moon

What I love about this reply is the the original tweet is gone now and it doesn’t even matter because it’s a one-size-fits-all rebuttal.

12. Just imagine

I’ll bet you’d like a little of that splash now that ya burnt so bad, huh?

11. The gold standard

An absolute classic, the metaphor we all need.

https://aetherkidatheart.tumblr.com/post/162904307683/firstdegreeliberty-heimwehr-robloxgf

10. Under pressure

The thing about gay marriage is that “believing in it” is irrelevant.
It’s just a thing that happens.
It’s not the Loch Ness Monster.

https://kaiserneko.tumblr.com/post/121816884560/rp0077-micasablumpkins

9. Soup’s on

Ok but how though?

https://keetongu.tumblr.com/post/142088033928/still-fancy-that-cup-of-soup-now

8. The they

Seriously, everyone I grew up with used “they” as a gender-neutral singular all the time and didn’t have a problem with it until people started asking them to.

https://heyheyrenay.tumblr.com/post/180041315239/mauthedoog-baras

7. Absolutely smoked

You walked right into that one.

6. This is relevant

English is just a stew.

5. Under control

We get it, you’re vaped.

4. Would love to come

It’s five bucks dude, that’s like one beer.

3. Densely speaking

Shine bright like a diamond.

2. Soup strikes back!

No idea if this response is real but I want it to be.

1. Just a little bit

Let’s get way down deep.

Well I need to go fan myself off after all that heat.

What’s the best comeback you’ve heard recently?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Check Out Some of the Most Brutal Burns on the Internet appeared first on UberFacts.

Weird Ways to Turn Lies into Money

With all the lies we’re constantly surrounded by, it’s kind of frustrating that we can’t glean SOME kind of good out of them.

But what if we could…

Every time someone lies to you, $100 gets deposited to your bank account. What is the fastest way for you to get rich? from AskReddit

How might the denizens of Reddit capitalize on such a universe? Let’s find out.

1. Start a business.

Contract myself out as a foolproof lie detector.

– GMaimneds

2. Get both sides.

Ask my mum and dad individually about how their divorce went down

– maayooo6381

3. Pretty please?

Gather all your relatives and ask “I am beautiful, right?”.

Easy cash

– [user deleted]

4. Scam-a-thon.

Give you email address and phone number out at every available opportunity and let the scams roll in

– acrobaticalpaca6464

5. Be a vet.

I’m a veterinarian.

They’re not giving the pills to the dog like I told you to, the check is not in the mail, you’re not cutting out his treats, and you’re not exercising them enough.

Seriously, I’d make a fortune.

– Algaean

6. Shop around.

Attend one political rally after the other.

And if votes are not in season, go shopping for used cars or looking for houses.

– Treczoks

7. Doing the math.

I can say “1+1=3” in .72 seconds (yes, I did time myself). If I make a full minute of that, that’s 83 (.33) lies per minute. At x10 speed that’s 830 lies per minute. If I play this track over itself such that they never line up perfectly, then I can get a lie to start at each of the smallest increments the editing software can handle. So if it can handle .01 at the smallest, then you get 83×72 (5976) recordings in one track. Played at x10 speed, lol, you get 59,760 lies per minute for $5,976,000 per minute.

If you take that track and auto tune it to every possible frequency that can be assigned by the software you use (let’s pretend it’s 1000) then you can be lied to at every frequency in every split second at x10 speed. For 59,760,000 lies per minute. This makes a whopping 5,976,000,000 per minute. Suck a dick, Bezos.

Will this sound like garbage? Ya, totally. But if I quietly dub this over whatever songs are in my music playlists then I can listen to music while I get lied to. Hell, the music might even have some lies in it. Cardi can’t have a WAP 24/7, right? According to Ben that’s not healthy.

– Arkmer

8. Ho ho ho!

Talk about your suspicions of Santa’s validity, in a large crowd, while holding a 5y on your lap.

– [user deleted]

9. Spare some change.

Beg on a busy street.

“I’m hungry, do you have some change?”

– ozdkyt

10. Your own terms.

Make a website where someone has to check a box stating they’ve read and agree to the terms and conditions

– grungerat_

11. What an opportunity!

Go to an MLM convention.

Those hun bots will get you rich quicker than they claim LuLaRoe will!

– cmonyy

12. Be precise.

Ask them everyone how old they are.

They could say 26, but in reality they are actually 26 years, 3 months, 12 days, 8 hours, 2 minutes and 22 seconds.

– Ooodles-of-nooodles

13. Farm it out.

giving 10$ to every person that lies to you.

– NotAFatAlien

14. Work in tech.

I mean, I work at a tech company and we get lies all the time.

I’m pretty sure half of the people could just go to work and make an easy thousand dollars

– billionai1

15. Not OK.

Just go around saying “Hi, how are you?”

“Good!”

$100

– peon2

Of course, the definition of “lie” might challenge some of these. Does it have to be something simply untrue, or something the speaker KNOWS to be untrue? Does anything involving an opinion count or does it have to be objective?

There are many things to consider.

Keep the conversation going in the comments.

The post Weird Ways to Turn Lies into Money appeared first on UberFacts.

People Speculate How They Would Turn Lies Into Money

As Dr. House taught us, “everybody lies.”

He was able to turn that not-quite-epiphany alongside a fictitiously brilliant medical mind into big bucks and huge clout.

But what about those of us who failed chemistry or whatever? How might we spin lies into cash? Maybe through a scenario like this?

Every time someone lies to you, $100 gets deposited to your bank account. What is the fastest way for you to get rich? from AskReddit

Let’s get creative with the people of Reddit.

1. Psychics.

Walk down the alley of fortune tellers and future psychics.

I’m interested in two things: if they lie, I get $100 rather quickly; if they are telling the truth, then I found something game changing.

– crispybaconsalad

2. The DMV.

Go to work.

I work at my local DMV office and people can and will lie about everything.

– mommy876

3. Cut people in.

just say “tell me a lie and I’ll give you 10 bucks, no questions asked. Doesn’t even matter the lie, just tell me a lie.”

It would be a great YouTube video too.

– Nroke1

4. Rekindle a flame.

Get back together with my ex.

I figure in one month alone I’ll be a multimillionaire, sky’s the limit.

– MAXIMILIAN-MV

5. The pharmacy.

Go to work.

I’m a pharmacist, people lie to me (and themselves) all day, every day.

I wouldn’t have to keep working for long.

– thatmedicinegirl

6. Have kids.

I have small children.

Did you hit your brother? Did you break that? Have you brushed your teeth?

2 kids, both lying to each question, I’ll be able to hire a nanny and go sit on a private island within a week

– BaymaxIsMyPatronusv

7. Pretend to have kids.

Show people a picture of an ugly baby and claim that’s your kid.

Everyone says a baby is cute, even when they look like a gremlin that was fed after midnight.

– ChefChopNSlice

8. Enlist!

Go talk to a Marine Corps recruiter.

I mean, that was the old way….now we can just watch anything political on the major new channels

– avidtraveler81

9. Fairytale solutions.

Build a Pinocchio

– Geronimoguy

10. Start a business.

Become a freelance reporter and offer to interview multiple politicians. Or if you just wanna exploit it.

Instead of making it your main income you could just advertise that you’re literally the only reliable and scientifically proven lie detector. That way you can just set open a thing displaying your deposits and ask anyone anything and if is a lie you’ll get a deposit, otherwise you know it’s the truth.

You could literally earn like 50k a day interviewing suspected spies and political prisoners.

– FreenBurgler

11. At church.

Go to a church and start asking people, “How much and what kind of p*rn do you watch?”

– genericname692

12. Have kids.

My kids lie to me dozens of times a day.

I could probably top that, but as it is I literally would pull in about $60k a month.

Not rich per se but definitely richer than anyone I know.

– Painting_Agency

13. Get the vax facts.

Go to an Antivaxxer Facebook page or website and ask them why they think vaccines are bad

If there’s enough Karens, I’ll be swimming in gold after an hour of typing.

– BLizardLeLizard

14. Tools of the trade.

Attend a huge trade show and listen to every sales pitch.

– EmEmAndEye

15. Recursive thinking.

Post “Can you tell me a 1 lie about yourself?” on r/askreddit

– PoinDexter90

And remember, as Dr. House would say, “It’s not lupus.”

Do you have another creative answer to this question?

Hit us with it in the comments.

The post People Speculate How They Would Turn Lies Into Money appeared first on UberFacts.

Here’s Proof That Someone’s Last Day on the Job Is Not the Day to Test Them

Depending on the circumstances, a person’s last day at a job can either be a time of uncertainty, or even anger, or it can be a cause to celebrate moving on to something better (even if you’re a bit sad about leaving behind the people you know).

Either way, a person who is performing their final hours of duty doesn’t have a lot of f**ks to give, y’all. There can be no consequences (of the garden variety) and so their patience for bulls*%t is probably pretty low.

This girl was on her last day as a hostess at a restaurant where people are required to wear masks as part of a corporate policy.

So it’s my last day at my most recent restaurant job. Now the restaurant I work in requires all customers wear masks when they’re not at the table. I try to explain that it comes from a corporate level and I have no say in the matter, but I end up dealing with a lot of angry people.

A large group comes in without masks. She informs them they have to wear them whenever they are not seated at their table, and a pregnant woman objects, saying she has a medical exemption.

The restaurant doesn’t recognize those, and it’s just to the table, OP explains.

I’m a host and a large party comes in. I tell the party that everyone needs to wear masks until they get to the table. A younger pregnant lady tells me she is not required because she’s pregnant and has a medical exemption. I explain that our restaurant does not recognize medical exemptions and she will be required to wear one just until she gets to the table.

The party argues and blusters, but everyone puts on their masks and heads to their meal.

On the way out, the pregnant lady asks for OPs name in a sugary, not-sweet voice.

The whole group gives me the usual snark, legal arguments, conspiracy theories etc. but eventually they all put on their masks and are seated. Well about an hour later the party is leaving. The pregnant woman comes back to the host stand. She thanks us for excellent service and asks me (in a tone that was polite but laced with contempt) what my name is.

OP happily provided her name, since she wouldn’t be working there anymore when the woman called to complain – but also, she didn’t do anything wrong.

She even spelled it out, which I have to imagine was done with relish.

Now it’s my last day at this restaurant. The next day I will be in my pajamas, sipping coffee, and working from home without a care in the world. With my mask hiding my grin, I tell her my name proudly. My IRL name is unique and very easy to misspell so I spell it out for her letter by letter and makes sure she knows it right. I’m the only one with my name in the whole restaurant. In a tone that says “I’m gonna get you in so much trouble” she says “thaaank yooou” and leaves.

Everyone laughed about the lady who didn’t want to follow the rules, and honestly, it sounds like OP is hoping to hear some followup, and it’s hard to blame her.

All my coworkers joke about it being my last day and how much trouble I’m NOT going to be in as soon as she calls and finds out I no longer work there. I’m keeping up with Yelp and google reviews to see if my name pops up but nothing yet.

People started sharing their opinions.

Image Credit: Reddit

And they shared some interesting stories.

Image Credit: Reddit

Even if they had a bit of an opposite situation happen to them…

Image Credit: Reddit

I’m living a little bit vicariously because I always wished I would have an opportunity like this on a last day! Argh!

Has anything like this ever happened to you? Did you get the payoff you wanted?

The post Here’s Proof That Someone’s Last Day on the Job Is Not the Day to Test Them appeared first on UberFacts.

People Shared the “Rock Bottom” Meals They Made During That Weird Time We’ll Never Talk About Again

I see all of you and I feel your pain…

No, I’m not talking about physical pain, I’m referring to the shame, disgust, and anger that you feel when you look in the mirror…because you’ve been making some really terrible decisions when it comes to cooking during the quarantine…

And so have I!

Hey, what can you do, right?

It gets pretty old trying to tantalize your tastebuds day in and day out when restaurants aren’t open. Do you want to know how many times I’ve had peanut butter and jelly for dinner in the last year? It’s a sad, sad state of affairs, trust me.

Take a look at these rock bottom quarantine meals and let us know if they stack up to what you’ve been doing in the kitchen.

1. You do you.

Might take a while to eat, though…

2. All up from here.

Not the worst thing I’ve ever heard.

3. What kind of dressing, though…

You need to fill us in!

4. Official hit rock bottom.

We wish you luck in the future…

5. Not quite, but almost…

You might need some help.

6. Sounds like a real snoozer.

Liven it up a little bit!

7. That does not sound good.

I’m just being honest with you.

8. You need to go to the store NOW.

Don’t wait until tomorrow.

9. Do what you gotta do.

We’re living in desperate times.

10. Phoning it in.

Is it really punk, though?

11. Apologize to the food lords.

They might not be able to forgive this one.

What’s your rock bottom meal from quarantine been?

Talk to us in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Shared the “Rock Bottom” Meals They Made During That Weird Time We’ll Never Talk About Again appeared first on UberFacts.