Category: funny tweets

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Recent Tweets That Are Worth a Look

There are millions of tweets, and honestly, there are hundreds of accounts out there that are worth a follow. That said, keeping up with the best every day can be a daunting task!

If you want a laugh but you’re too lazy to scroll for it, listen. We’ve got you covered with 12 funny, recent tweets we don’t think you’ll want to miss.

12. A little attention never hurt anyone.

As long as there’s no like murder involved.

11. A true revelation.

Now, what to do with it…

10. Most of us are pretending we don’t watch it.

Those ratings are coming from somewhere, my friends.

9. I don’t want to laugh.

It is funny, though.

8. All you know is that it doesn’t have meat.

What it could have is literally anything else.

7. Fine, I’ll get up.

It’s like your body is conspiring against you.

6. They need to cool off for like twenty minutes though.

So you have plenty of time to talk.

5. Everyone was in on it but her.

That’s gotta be disconcerting.

4. What do you think it means?

It means get the heck out of there COME ON.

3. It’s not gonna do any good.

You’re gonna need a big, public display of affection to get its attention.

2. Never leave the house.

Also, never date again.

1. This is the meme that ended the competition.

I’ll not be taking any arguments.

 

Ahhhhh, so great, right? I could read tweets for an entire afternoon.

Tell us down in the comments which ones were your favorites!

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Funny Tweets About the Trials and Tribulations of Self-Checkout

I go both ways when it comes to self-checkout.

If I’m buying produce, there’s no way in hell that I’m trying to figure out that computer to look up the proper codes…

But if I just have items that can be scanned…I’m struttin’ into the self-checkout lanes with all kinds of confidence and acting like I own the place.

Self-checkout sure is a funny thing, isn’t it…

Let’s take a look at some hilarious tweets about this aspect of our lives that we all deal with. Enjoy!

1. That’s never a good thing.

Now what am I supposed to do?!?!

2. It’s infuriating, isn’t it?

Enough to drive a person crazy.

3. I’m on your side, guys.

Just so we’re clear about everything.

4. Avoid those things at all costs.

It’s never a pleasant experience.

5. It’s a skill, alright.

How good are YOU?

6. What a little angel!

I hope you sneered at him. Or yelled.

7. Just this one thing, please.

That’s not too much to ask for.

8. A little different back then.

Remember the good old days?

9. We’re glad they were able to help!

That’s one of the best things about self-checkout.

10. You are correct, sir.

This guy is smart: listen to him.

11. Are you talking about yourself again?

If so, you nailed it!

12. Vegan soy protein powder?

People must know about this!

How do you feel about self-checkout?

Does it drive you nuts or do you love it because you don’t have to deal with anyone?

Sound off in the comments and tell us what you think. Thanks!

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Hysterical Posts About Self-Checkout

It sure is hard to imagine a world before self-checkout.

A world where we all had to stay in long lines at the store, patiently waiting our turn for the cashier to finally get to us. And then you had to go through the whole process of, “How are you?” “How is your day going?” “Would you like paper or plastic?”

We’re living in a different world now, people! And I’m here for it!

That is, except for when I have produce…because I’m scared to look up the codes on the big, scary computer…

Anyway, enjoy these funny tweets about self-checkout!

1. A little help over here?

Hey, I’m not any happier about this then you are!

2. It sounds like you have a new job.

That’s a good thing…I think…

3. I don’t like where this is headed.

It’s a slippery slope.

4. This one was your fault.

Sorry about that…won’t happen again…

5. Sounds like a blast.

Maybe these things aren’t such a good idea…

6. You’re gonna get busted.

I’m just sayin’…you’re playing with fire.

7. It’s not worth it!

Crime doesn’t pay, people…

8. That’s pretty funny.

Mom never saw it coming, huh?

9. Are you trying to make me nervous?

Because it’s definitely working…

10. And now, representing the United States of America…

Did you win a medal?

11. Yeah, enough of that already.

I’m just trying to buy some groceries here.

12. You are a REBEL.

And we salute you…

Okay, it’s confession time, people…

What’s your worst experience with self-checkout at the store?

Tell us your tales of misery in the comments. Thanks a lot!

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Hysterical Tweets That Are Right up Your Alley

I’ve been watching you and I have something for you that I think you’re really going to love…

Just hear me out, okay?

What would you think about…SOME HYSTERICAL TWEETS!

Did I just see you smile? Yes! I knew you’d be on board with this incredible idea that I cooked up! You’re welcome, by the way…

Okay, let’s knock off the chit chat and get busy with some laughter. Start now!

1. Things went downhill pretty quickly.

This is a weekly ritual for many people.

2. That’s the only reason I can possibly think of…

I mean, she must’ve missed that message, right?

3. Over and out.

Who’s in it for the long haul out there?

4. I’m with you!

They’ll still probably zap you with their ray guns.

5. What am I looking at here?

I bet that throws a lot of people off.

6. Here they come again…

This is pretty brilliant, by the way.

7. I’d love to meet her!

She sounds absolutely delightful, doesn’t she?

8. That laundry is really living its best life.

Good for you!

9. I think only hipsters are gonna get this reference.

Am I right about that?

10. Thanks to both of them.

What would we do without them?!?!

11. Yes, I think they use bobby pins.

That makes sense, right?

12. That’s always a big moment.

You did it again!

13. I think a lot of people feel this way.

Well, at least you’re honest about it.

What’s the absolute funniest tweet that you’ve seen lately that really made you LOL?

Well, don’t hog it!

Share that good stuff with us in the comments. Thanks!

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Funny Tweets That Are Sure to Make You Chuckle

You sure look like you could use some laughs.

Am I right, or am I right?

I think I’m right!

Hey, you’re not alone! We could all use a little sunshine in our lives right about now.

And we think these funny tweets are a good start. Let’s take a look!

1. I have a feeling that they probably did…

That’s just my hunch.

2. Duh! Who doesn’t know this?

Jeez, some people…

3. You don’t need another one.

Just trust us on this one.

4. You’re at that phase, too?!?!

Hey, join the club!

5. Those were the good old days.

Just constantly looking at your phone? I miss it!

6. I’m just here because I enjoy this.

Oh, you’re actually here to do business?

7. I still didn’t know this until just now.

Thank you for the information!

8. This year didn’t go as planned.

Hey, there’s always next year…

9. Let’s change this whole thing up!

I bet you can find someone to fund this idea.

10. That oughta do it.

Just a little snack.

11. You’ll be checking it every 30 seconds.

But remember to take it out so it doesn’t explode.

12. I agree with you on this one.

Why couldn’t he have been a little bit more chill?

13. Yeah, what about us?!?!

Throw us a bone, will ya?

Okay, ladies and gents, now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, please share some funny stuff you’ve seen that has made you laugh on social media lately.

We’re excited to see what you come up with!

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Need a Smile? Try These Posts on for Size.

We all need a smile from time to time, and I don’t know about you, but I really don’t like to work too hard for mine. Scrolling a list of funnies and sweet-nothings is the perfect amount of effort some days!

If that’s how you’re feeling right now, let’s get to it – here are 15 tweets we think you’re going to love.

15. This is hilarious.

Mostly because I can definitely see it happening to me.

Image Credit: The Chive

14. Maybe not illegal, per se.

But we’re not going to take it for granted again.

Image Credit: The Chive

13. Write this in stone.

No one wants a phone call.

Image Credit: The Chive

12. That is a confusing plot hole.

But it’s a movie about Santa. Don’t go in too deep.

Image Credit: The Chive

11. I don’t know why this is so funny.

I’m still chuckling.

Image Credit: The Chive

10. I don’t want to be that person, but…

He was nominated for an Oscar when he was like, 13.

Image Credit: The Chive

9. That seems fair.

It’s how we decide everything else.

Image Credit: The Chive

8. Ooh I wish that was a real thing.

Not for flies, but for wasps, definitely.

Image Credit: The Chive

7. They really had me going there.

*wags finger*

Image Credit: The Chive

6. Stand-up comedians, man.

They’re born and made.

Image Credit: The Chive

5. This is a particular kind of insecurity.

You don’t want to go, you just want to be invited.

Image Credit: The Chive

4. The grandma names will be worse.

But we’ll all have tattoos!

Image Credit: The Chive

3. Somebody love me!

And maybe give me some money?

Image Credit: The Chive

2. This seems to be true.

I’ll keep a lookout, though.

Image Credit: The Chive

1. Someone’s got to teach her how the world works.

You gotta stay up pretty late if you want the last piece of cake.

Image Credit: The Chive

Ahhhh, refreshing, right? Other people are so funny sometimes!

What’s your go-to way to relax and uncover a few giggles? Share it with us in the comments!

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Funny Tweets That Really Hit the Spot!

It’s about that time again…

Time to sit back, kick your feet up, crack open a cold beverage of your choice, and enjoy some hilarious tweets! Come on, you know you want to!

And I gotta tell you, these tweets really hit the spot in a major way. I’m talking about that sweet spot where your funny bone just feels like it can’t take it anymore.

We like to call it “laughter overload.”

So what do you say? Are you ready to get busy with all this funny business? Let’s check it out!

1. You’re in the wrong ‘hood.

It gets scary out there…

2. This is gonna get weird.

And I don’t think there will be a second date!

3. Hahahah. I really hope he said that.

I have my fingers crossed on this one.

4. Oh, NOW it’s not a contest?

When did that happen?

5. Your body is a temple.

But I never said what kind of temple…

6. You clearly read the book.

Did that pick-up line work?

7. Soaking wet carrots.

They’re always like that, aren’t they?

8. Can I get some foregiveness?

That would sure be nice?

9. He’ll totally think you’re paying attention.

Just trust us on this one…

10. Sure, you were…

And so was I…

11. Pick out a new weekly outfit, okay?

And yes, you’ll get 7 full days out of it.

Now it’s your turn!

Have you seen any hilarious tweets lately that you really loved?

If the answer is YES, please share them with us in the comments.

Thanks in advance!

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Funny Tweets for Your Viewing Pleasure

We want you to come and get it! What on Earth is this crazy person talking about, you might be asking yourself? Well, I’m gonna fill you in!

We’re here today to present you with yet another batch of funny tweets that we’ve carefully hand-selected to make you laugh your *sses off!

What else do you need, really?

The answer is NOTHING. Nothing at all…

And we are almost 100% certain that these tweets will make you laugh so hard, you might not even have an *ss anymore…so just be sure to check when you’re done looking at this stuff, okay?

Okay, enough with the chit chat, let’s get it on!

1. Come on! Come on!

I thought this only happened in elevators…

2. Don’t pray for him anymore.

I think that’s enough! Thanks though!

3. Throw it back to you.

Is that cool?

4. You always have to check.

Just in case…

5. Give me another.

And keep ’em coming!

6. I think you’re getting a divorce.

Are you happy now?

7. He had to do it.

You know he couldn’t pass that up!

8. That’s the good stuff!

More of that, please!

9. Bill did it again.

He always makes it all about him.

10. The pain I have caused others…

Take some time for yourself to reflect…

11. This is really all you need to know.

Get rid of all your other books.

12. The candles number looks a little bit off.

Just a thought…

How about you?

Have you seen any funny tweets lately that you really love?

If so, please share them with us in the comments. Thanks!

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Are You Married? These Funny Tweets Should Look Familiar.

There are some things about marriage that are just universal: arguing over how the dishwasher was arranged, arguing about whose turn it is to take the dog outside, arguing about the wallpaper, etc.

Are you noticing a theme here?

Yes, we’re talking about arguing. And bickering. Because you know it’s all true.

But there’s some really great stuff about marriage, too, right?

Right…?

I’ll let you ponder that question while you read these hilarious tweets about marriage. Enjoy!

1. That thing is now in a landfill.

It was good while it lasted…

2. Remember five years ago…

NEVER LET HIM FORGET.

3. What’s the point of all this?

Mass chaos isn’t going to work in this household.

4. You always have to keep reminding them.

Hey, that’s your JOB.

5. I’m not sure what you’re talking about, honey.

That was a close call.

6. Who knew that this would be rude?

I really had no idea.

7. What’s the WiFi password?

I’ve told you a million times!

8. This is really not easy.

But somebody’s gotta do it.

9. That is what true love is all about.

Life can be beautiful!

10. No, you stop yelling!

And around and around you go.

11. Just keep asking “why” all the time.

It’s enough to drive them crazy!

12. You won this round.

Nice work!

Okay, now we want to hear from all of you out there.

In the comments, give us a life update and tell us how everything is going.

Are you and your spouse getting along or are you both climbing the walls?

We’re here to listen to you!

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Funny Tweets About Marriage That Will Make You LOL

Are you ready to laugh out loud?

I mean, are you REALLY ready to LOL?

Well, you’re in luck, my friends, because we have a heaping helping of hilarious tweets today that are all about one very interesting topic: MARRIAGE.

And we think that these tweets will not only make you laugh, but a bunch of them might even look very familiar to you…because there are some things about marriage that are just universal, as you already know.

Let’s take a look at these hilarious marriage tweets. Start now!

1. That will teach him a lesson.

He shouldn’t have crossed you…

2. That’s way too much.

This would drive me insane.

3. You were supposed to remind me!

What happened? We had a deal!

4. The ultimate marriage flex.

Show them who’s the boss.

5. I’m not sure what you’re referring to.

Good luck with your new diet!

6. I want to know what love is.

And apparently, this is it.

7. This marriage is RED HOT.

I’m getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

8. You kind of sound like a baby to me.

I’m just sayin’…

9. Okay, tell me what happened again…

Start from the beginning…

10. This is gonna get ugly.

This is when you need really good friends.

11. Ooooh, that’s the good stuff.

Keepin’ the romance alive!

12. You don’t want to know that.

Just let it remain a mystery.

13. I second this proposal.

It’s a good idea, right?

How about you?

Is the old ball and chain (male or female) driving you nuts?

Talk to us in the comments! We’ll be your new therapists!

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