Category: funny things kids say

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Times When Kids Really Did Say the Darndest Things

Kids say the funniest things…sometimes…

Like the time 5-year-old Bindi Irwin met her baby brother Robert, and decided that he should be called Brian “for short.”

Well back in January, feminist author @JessicaValenti tweeted about an incident that happened when her child was about that same age:

It was a great metaphor for life, and it spawned a whole thread of users telling funny things that their own children had said.

A lot of users focused on how children don’t pull punches, sometimes being brutal without even meaning to.

Picture book author Pat Zietlow Miller shared a time when her young daughter innocently cut her to the quick:

And another user shared her child’s response to her own midlife crisis hairdo.

Kids, man. Brutal, and brutally honest.

Sometimes they’re just trying to be helpful though, like when Heidi Hodges’ daughter overruled her little brother’s kindness.

And we all know what it’s like to be seen as the not-fun parent, but I love this user’s response.

I guess it would be way too mean to respond, “I know Dad’s the fun parent, just like your brother is the fun child.”

Yeah, you’re right. Parents have to be the parent, fun or otherwise.

Some of the one-liners parents shared were just hilarious, liked this one from Bonnie Jean:

Use the Force, Luke. Be the armadillo.

I love it.

And you know, it makes sense, because kids just really love animals.

So comparisons to animals are usually a compliment:

Until they try to turn you into one:

Kids, as we all know, also like to eat weird things.

(Let’s hope this isn’t why the 5-year-old wanted to turn her sister into a fish…)

And this kid… The shade.

But I mean, he has a point.

And just… wow.

Weird eating habits aside, sometimes even the best kids will misbehave.

As parents, you just have to teach them how to say they’re sorry.

Even if it makes you want to bust out laughing.

And when life gets them down:

Teach them to look on the bright side.

(This kid must have been friends with @welshlady17’s little girl.)

It’s so true what they say. Kids really do say the darndest things.

What’s something hilarious that a small child in your life has said? Tell us in the comments!

The post Times When Kids Really Did Say the Darndest Things appeared first on UberFacts.

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Moms Who Can’t Stop Laughing At Their Hilarious Kids

There are too many amazing things about parenthood to name, and way to many feelings to talk about or try to pin down in a quick post. The full human experience contains multitudes, but lucky for all of us who have decided to tackle parenthood, there’s one thing that’s true about kids across the board – they’re hilarious.

These moms are having great days, because they’ve got something to tweet about that everyone wants to hear – funny kid stories.

And now we’re gonna share them with you. So let’s go get some laughs!

11. One more question? I don’t believe that.

And here we go for hours…

10. Leg nipples?

Yes, leg nipples.

9. That’s definitely one thing adults do.

And ok it is pretty fun.

8. He’s not wrong.

These are deep thoughts, people!

7. Bless his heart.

That is not the way to happiness, friend.

6. Asking the important questions.

They’re cool, but not that cool.

5. Wow. That’s a truth bomb.

Honesty is not always the best policy.

4. Why do they do this??

And why is it so dang funny every time?

3. Hey, man, it happens to the best of us.

I’m sure those people on the call have done it, too.

2. What do you even say to that?

Sometimes you just have to concede.

1. It’s gonna be the other way around, bucko.

Just you wait and see.

These kinds of posts make me so happy! Kids are hilarious and I love them for it.

Share more funny kid moments with me in the comments, please!

The post Moms Who Can’t Stop Laughing At Their Hilarious Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Kid’s Poem About Online School Went Viral Because It Is Too Real

It’s been a rough year for most of us in a lot of ways.

But there has been comfort in the fact that we were all going through it together–the staying in doors, the wearing masks, the endless meetings on Zoom.

So when one 7-year-old wrote a poem expressing his dissatisfaction with online schooling, literally everyone on Twitter ecstatically agreed.

The child’s babysitter Julia posted the anti ode online last year and instantly went viral.

Here’s the text…

Boring online school
Today is just another day
in a long line of days
staring at a dumb screen
Just boring boring
online school that’s the
only thing that did happen
it’s the only thing that is
happening that’s the only
thing that will happen

So many people commented their concern about the boy that his baby sitter felt compelled to elaborate that he wasn’t depressed or in danger.

She went on to explain that this was an assignment for school, and I personally loved that she described him as snarky, because it feels like something I would have done in college, rather than first grade.

Many of the more literary minded Twitter users were impressed with the artistic nature of the poem.

I’m guessing they were English majors like I was.

Others took the poem and played with it, putting their own spin on the form, such as this one, which distilled the poem down into one perfect Haiku that encapsulates 2020.

While others cleverly compared it to well known classics:

And still others compared it to funny things other children have done, both in the distant past:

And more recently:

The poem evoked a lot of visceral feelings about life amid the pandemic.

It raised debate over the merits of online schooling and the fact that kids generally feel just as bored sitting in a desk in person.

But as someone who loves working from home, and at the same time despises the endless hours of meetings, I felt this poem in the very depths of my being.

As one user expressed so clearly:

What do you think? Did his poem make you feel seen, or just make you a little bit sad for kids these days?

Let us know in the comments.

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Kids Who Really Cracked Their Moms Up

Some days, the fact that our kids make us laugh is the only thing that keeps them alive, I think. Children don’t always think they’re being funny, and they’re not always doing it on purpose, but that doesn’t really matter – that little burst of laughter can do so much for that tension balled up at the base of your neck.

Here are 10 kids who are experts at making their parents laugh, and luckily, their parents are on Twitter to share it all with us.

10. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Probably a bad thing. Broccoli can be a lot.

9. Wow. That’s way harsh.

But still hilarious.

8. Never interrupt.

There’s always more coming.

7. Ugh, typecasting.

She’s gonna make it big in Hollywood one day.

6. Bless their little heart.

One day they will cling to those “old” ages.

5. At least one of you can keep your self esteem.

Poor daddy never has to know.

4. Yes, I do.

And now I’m going to teach you.

3. Don’t bother correcting him.

You’ll just make it worse.

2. It’s the question first that does it.

Like, he knows exactly what he’s doing.

1. At least he can read people.

That’ll come in handy when he learns to keep his mouth shut.

My kids make me laugh every day and I’m so grateful. Because without them, my laughter quotient would be far, far less.

What’s something funny your kid has said recently? Share it with us in the comments!

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Funny Alternative Names Kids Had for Everyday Stuff

People say that kids are great for making us laugh, and for making us see the world through new eyes, and anyone who has heard a child “name” something can definitely tell you that’s true.

These 13 kids, you have to admit, really seem to be onto something here!

13. Eh, that’s pretty much the same thing.

Except to the penguins, I guess.

12. I mean, what else do you use it for?

Maybe ramen.

11. This sounds oddly dirty.

Unless you say it in a 2yo’s voice.

10. Aren’t boys charming?

You have to admit it’s creative.

9. That should definitely be a thing.

I love cake, I love bagels. In fact, I want one right now!

8. They’ll be ruling the place before you know it.

I hope they write screenplays together.

7. Christmas makes everything better.

And so do bagels, so.

6. A darkly apt description.

That’s all I have to say about that.

5. I mean, that is what it says on the box.

Don’t go calling Harvard yet?

4. I love it when they hatch.

Especially when they’re sweet and salty.

3. Well that’s rude.

But okay, also funny.

2. That’s what Mom says when she sees them!

This one just cracked me up.

1. Beaks are cooler than snouts.

We all know it’s true.

I’m going to use some of these, for sure!

What’s your favorite word that your family adopted after your kid got it wrong (right)? Tell us in the comments!

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These Kids Should Get to Name Everything From Now On

Kids are very funny (when they’re not being annoying, at least), and one of the best things they do is have total confidence as they call things the completely wrong name.

The thing is, more than half of the time they’re spot-on with their description, if not the proper name – which is why kids like these 11 should be tasked with naming things from now on.

11. Talk about holiday cheer.

It abounds. ‘Tis the season.

Image Credit: Twitter

10. No one skips a bonus round.

At least, they shouldn’t.

Image Credit: Twitter

9. Their minds are mysterious.

Don’t water the corpses.

Image Credit: Twitter

8. This is super weird.

I dig her mind.

Image Credit: Twitter

7. I would never be able to keep a straight face.

Kids are the best.

Image Credit: Twitter

6. Boys are amazing.

You never know; he COULD get into Harvard.

Image Credit: Twitter

5. Just give her a cut when it succeeds.

Royalties or something.

Image Credit: Twitter

4. I do love me some cake bagels.

Anything called a bagel must be delicious.

Image Credit: Twitter

3. I feel like the pickles should be the weird limes.

But that’s a quibble.

Image Credit: Twitter

2. Even if you enjoy crafts, you probably don’t want to argue.

It looks like crap exploded in there.

Image Credit: Twitter

1. She’s got the vaguely threatening tone down.

That’s the most important part of branding.

Image Credit: Twitter

My 3yo calls “yesterday” “last day,” which I love and will not correct.

What’s your favorite “wrong” word your child says or said? Tell us in the comments!

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Kids That Clearly Know Nothing…But They’re Still Cute

Kids aren’t really supposed to know anything, since they haven’t been alive that long and everything. That’s why it’s okay to laugh at them when they do and say silly things.

Once you’re an adult, people frown upon being clueless, as it’s no longer cute.

Nothing you do is cute anymore, okay!

But these 11 kids are still allowed, so please enjoy…

11. Oh, sweet summer child.

They’re looking for you, son. Don’t know why.

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. When you think of it that way…

Brains really are pretty amazing.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

9. I think you should be glad you coaxed it out of him before he deployed it as a weapon.

Luckily for him, you never really run out.

He’ll never have get it back from KidsAreFuckingStupid

8. He has not yet learned that coffee is sacred.

May that cup rest in peace.

7. Anything to do with dogs is very exciting, understand.

I, too, get thrilled to see dogs passing by on the street.

6. And maybe I shouldn’t be laughing, but I am.

You have to amuse yourself in this parenting gig when and where you can.

5. Wow. I don’t think my son would give up his iPad for a cookie.

You never know, though. It would probably depend on whether there was ice cream involved.

It wasn’t even double stuffed smh from KidsAreFuckingStupid

4. It’s hard being a toddler, you know.

So many feelings, so few words.

3. That cornbread now knows how I feel when I try to go to the bathroom.

It’s hard being loved so much. Like cornbread.

2. I mean that’s sort of just impressive.

Unless you’re the one who paid for said cello. Then it’s annoying.

1. All kids apparently go through a phase when they NEED TO SEE THEIR POOP.

Do you always check on your poop before you flush? DO YOU EVEN CARE?

I needed this laugh today and the reminder that my littles aren’t the only idiots on the block.

What’s the dumbest thing your kid has done that made you laugh?

Share it with us in the comments!

The post Kids That Clearly Know Nothing…But They’re Still Cute appeared first on UberFacts.

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Enjoy These Times When Kids Renamed Everyday Items Perfectly

Kids have a certain way of hitting things right on the head, and sometimes they come up with words for objects that are way more apropos than the original.

Like these 19 times.

Honestly, you’re not going to be able to argue.

19. It matters not what time of year you see them.

18. Just don’t call it that when you’re talking to the dog.

17. I only go slowing.

16. That’s…poetic?

15. Bed skins wtf.

14. Even Rhinos will love this idea.

13. It makes perfect sense.

12. Well, why wouldn’t it?

Image Credit: Twitter

11. That’s exactly what it looks like!

Image Credit: Twitter

10. Like a flamingo, but evil.

9. Morbid, but not inaccurate.

8. Daddy needs to mow.

7. Always trying to dress up a fart.

6. That’s what Dr. Seuss would call it!

5. My kid says “last day.”

4. Pockets for cheese are okay by me!

3. If only that were a job, kid.

2. They might party in a way some animals don’t like, but…

1. I think that’s close to what they’re called in German.

It’s obviously time to let kids start naming everything!

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