Internet Can’t Stop Laughing at Guy Who Mistook His GF’s Thermometer for a Pregnancy Test

When Izaak Torres of Costa Mesa, California got a text saying “Holy fuck,” from his girlfriend at 4 a.m. in the morning with a photo of a thermometer, he was understandably confused. That confusion may just have led to the “Most Hilarious Mistake Ever.”

His girlfriend, Vanessa Marie, sent him the picture and the text because she was running a 100-degree fever (seen in the photo below).

“I said ‘holy fuck’ because I was so frustrated that it was 4 a.m. and I was dead tired, but I didn’t want to go back to sleep until my fever went down some more,” Vanessa told BuzzFeed News.

Izaak read the text when he woke up briefly at 7 a.m. and he FUH-LIPPED OUT.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Oh, sweetie.

“I didn’t get his text until I woke up around 11 a.m. and I just died laughing,” Vanessa said.

As for Izaak, he realized his own mistake a couple of hours later when he was fully awake. He says he “felt like a dumb ass” but tried to just keep it moving.

Photo Credit: BuzzFeed

Still, Vanessa had to share the screenshot on the internet, because who can miss an opportunity to clown their boyfriend in public?

And Izaak got clowned, alright. Roasted, even.

People pointed out that he must have interpreted the reading as “100% pregnant.”

Photo Credit: Twitter

Which means that if the number had been lower, he’d still have a chance!

Photo Credit: Twitter

This unborn baby just can’t make up its mind!

Photo Credit: Twitter

Or perhaps Izaak thought that his girlfriend was having 100 babies?

Photo Credit: Twitter

One hundred babies is a lot. Even 0.7 fewer babies would be better.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Either way, this dude clearly is not ready for a baby. Not even 50% of one, probably.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Which is really fine because neither is Vanessa.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Luckily the two of them are on the same page and still going strong as a couple. Hopefully, Vanessa is down to a normal temperature by now – 98.6% pregnant.

The post Internet Can’t Stop Laughing at Guy Who Mistook His GF’s Thermometer for a Pregnancy Test appeared first on UberFacts.

20 of the Greatest Tinder Profiles We’ve Ever Seen

You’ve gotta spend a LOT of time on dating apps before you find someone you’d actually consider meeting up with. On the other side of that, it also takes more effort than ever to get noticed and stand out from the crowd.

If you’re lucky, you’ll come across some folks like these with funny and unique profiles.

1. Some kind words

Photo Credit: Tinder

2. Sense of humor is a must

Photo Credit: Tinder

3. Get it?

Photo Credit: Tinder

4. Judy!

Photo Credit: Tinder

5. She’s a gem

Photo Credit: Tinder

6. That’s weird?

Photo Credit: Tinder

7. Ouch

Photo Credit: Tinder

8. Don’t mess with her

Photo Credit: Tinder

9. Hey o!

Photo Credit: Tinder

10. Pros and cons

Photo Credit: Tinder

11. What a gentleman

Photo Credit: Tinder

12. Reviews

Photo Credit: Tinder

13. What to expect

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14. All sound like good options

Photo Credit: Tinder

15. Needs a new companion

Photo Credit: Tinder

16. Bless her heart

Photo Credit: Tinder

17. LOL

Photo Credit: Tinder

18. Not smelly

Photo Credit: Tinder

19. You got Rick rolled

Photo Credit: Tinder

20. No nudes

Photo Credit: Tinder

Are you looking for love? Any luck?

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15 of the Pettiest Reasons People Have Swipe Left on Dating Apps

Dating has always been tough, but in the modern age, it seems to have become more complicated than ever! Now we have the option to not even have to look someone in the face as we reject them. All it takes is a simple swipe.

Sure, it’s easier in some ways, but it’s also kind of impersonal and allows people to be pettier than ever

Photo Credit: Twitter

Me? I used to decline anyone who had no “last book read” in that section of their profile.

Photo Credit: Twitter

In the interest of science and love and all that, check out 15 reasons people give for automatically swiping left.

#1. Netflix and pizza, plz.

Image Credit: Twitter

#2. In theory.

Image Credit: Twitter

#3. Hard pass.

Image Credit: Twitter

#4. Somewhere in between but I’m not mad.

Image Credit: Twitter

#5. Save that particular torture for parenthood.

Image Credit: Twitter

#6. So much.

Image Credit: Twitter

#7. I don’t see the problem.

Image Credit: Twitter

#8. A list of grievances.

Image Credit: Twitter

#9. You don’t know me.

Image Credit: Twitter

#10. Dont @ me.

Image Credit: Twitter

#11. Stop it.

Image Credit: Twitter

#12. I don’t need to date anyone who’s going to make me feel bad about myself.

Image Credit: Twitter

#13. You’re too much work.

Image Credit: Twitter

#14. I don’t want to do that.

Image Credit: Twitter

#15. Fail.

Image Credit: Twitter

Good luck out there. It’s rough!

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This Guy’s Duck Story on Tinder Is Easily the Greatest Way to Score a Girl’s Number

Dating these days is… well, let’s just say it’s not like it used to be. Thanks to Tinder, manners and charm have seemingly gone out the window. Welcome to the world of the insta-date. Swipe right, swipe left, match, get the number, set up a date, sleep together…then what? Lather, rinse, repeat, I suppose.

Well, this guy has all the other Tinder men beat with his funny and intriguing story about a duck – all to get the girl’s number. His creativity charmed her, and I bet he actually made her laugh enough to hand over the digits.

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/mattythegee

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/mattythegee

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/mattythegee

Many people applauded his creativity and are thinking of trying it out for themselves.

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/LUCIEN

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/drkrogue

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

Take note gentleman (and ladies)! This is a game changer.

The post This Guy’s Duck Story on Tinder Is Easily the Greatest Way to Score a Girl’s Number appeared first on UberFacts.

20 Comics That Perfectly Sum Up Sharing a Bed with Your Partner

A major part of learning to be in a long-term relationship is learning how to share a bed with your partner. It’s one of those things that you can simultaneously love and also be driven insane by.

Maybe you go back and forth a little bit, alternating between being really annoyed and extremely content and comfortable.

Whatever your feelings are on the subject, these comics will look very familiar to you…

1. No escape

2. World’s tiniest bladder

3. So HOT in here

4. Blinded by the light

Photo Credit: Facebook,Hedger Humor

5. You’re on my side

Photo Credit: Dina Odess

6. Keeping the other person up

Photo Credit: Yehuda and Maya Devir

7. Split personality

Photo Credit: Facebook,Six Pack Mom

8. Ahhhhhhh

Photo Credit: Our Super Adventure

9. That awful morning breath

10. You’re on my hair!

Photo Credit: Yehuda and Maya Devir

11. Claws

12. Uh oh

Photo Credit: Our Super Adventure

13. Still need a little touch

Photo Credit: Yehuda and Maya Devir

14. Different methods

Photo Credit: Facebook,Hedger Humor

15. Too much sun…don’t touch me

16. No eating in bed!

Photo Credit: Our Super Adventure

17. Isn’t it always this way?

Photo Credit: Facebook,Hedger Humor

18. Too tired to shower

Photo Credit: Yehuda and Maya Devir

19. Stare into my eyes

20. No sex, sorry

I bet a lot of these hit close to home, didn’t they?

The post 20 Comics That Perfectly Sum Up Sharing a Bed with Your Partner appeared first on UberFacts.

Trans Woman Finds Love with Man Who Turned Her Down When She Was Living as a Boy

Erin Anderson and Jared Norris are a strange case of love at first sight — it kind of took a few years to all work itself out.

That’s because Erin, a 22-year-old trans woman, initially approached her Facebook crush, Jared, while she was still living as a boy.

Photo Credit: Facebook, Erin Anderson

“While still living (as a) a boy, I messaged Jared on Facebook saying, ‘Hey, what’s up,’” Erin recalls, according to Lad Bible. “I knew of him and added him on Facebook because he was cute. But he was having no part of it and didn’t seem interested at all, so I decided not to try anymore with him.”

However, that wasn’t the end of the story for these two. Their paths crossed again once Erin had undergone two years of hormone replacement therapy and breast augmentation.

“It was two years later when he liked one of my pictures on Instagram,” she says. “By that time I had come out as trans and a woman. I decided I was going to be upfront, so I sent him a message with my number and within five minutes, I got a message from him and we started talking. The next day was my birthday, I hung out with him and a week later we were dating officially on Facebook and have been together ever since.”

Jared’s willingness to be honest and open about Erin’s identity with his family and friends is one of the reasons that their relationship is so successful.

“Prior to dating Jared, I had been seeing people but nothing serious came about because they were afraid to tell their family or friends,” Erin says.”They would tell me they really liked me but couldn’t risk their family knowing I was trans and that was what hurt the most. But Jared didn’t fear that, he told his family that I was trans and everything, he doesn’t care what other people think.”

The two have been very open about their relationship on social media, and have even made a video openly discussing why dating trans people shouldn’t be stigmatized. According to Jared, the videos and social media posts have prompted a slew of negative and regressive responses.

“It wasn’t really well known that I was dating a trans woman at first, but when everyone found out, it was a big shocker,” Jared says. “I received a lot of death threats online with one guy saying ‘I will beat you up f*** ‘ which kind of sucked and was depressing. It’s always the same rigmarole things like ‘I hate you,’ ‘You’re disgusting,’ ‘You’re dating a dude’ and other comments.”

Photo Credit: Facebook, Erin Anderson

However, the couple also says that they’ve received many loving and encouraging messages from people who were inspired by what they had to say.

“After getting all these death threats we talked about it and decided to ignore everybody, whether they are sending love or hate,” Jared adds. “Thankfully I had some messages encouraging us and telling us to ignore the haters.

“It reminds us that people like that are not worth our time.”

This article was first published by our partners at Woke Sloth

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People Reveal Some of the Pettiest Reasons They’ve Ended a Relationship

Relationships often come to an end. Sometimes, that end is amicable and based on some pretty sound reasons that make breaking up the best option for both parties. Other times, the reason is seemingly trivial, like someone leaving dirty socks ALL OVER THE PLACE. It may sound silly, but if that little thing is a trigger for you, it can be a dealbreaker.

Those little, deal-breaking things can honestly be pretty hilarious – they just go to show how particular people can be. Some of the ones in this AskReddit post even feel like they’re straight out of a Seinfeld episode. Maybe we’ll see some of these relationship-ending quirks on the next big sitcom?

1. Condescending

“She had been to university and I hadn’t, wasn’t really much of a big deal to me. Until one day she had her friends round, and they were talking and I was obviously trying to engage in conversation and make a good first impression.

At which point she said “aw you don’t have to try to talk to us, you can watch TV” I can see how it might have been innocent, but f*cking hell it felt condescending. I’m not a child, I can be part of an adult conversation without a degree.”

2. The bus was the culprit

“When I was in high school I broke up with my boyfriend when it came time to pick our bus seats for the semester. I knew he’d want to sit together. I also knew we’d probably break up during the semester, and then have to go through the drama and embarrassment of getting our seats changed. So I broke up with him before the seating charts came out to make my life easier down the road.”

3. Didn’t see an issue?

“I was the dumpee not the dumper. I shared a post on Facebook of the new Dragonball Z Adidas sneakers. My fiance’s sister’s BF commented calling my friends and I nerds and threatened to kill us. Fiance didn’t see an issue with this and sided with him. We got in a huge fight a bout it which led to her texting me at work a few days later to end our 4 year relationship via text.”

4. Rumors

“A girl I rode the bus with in middle School asked me out, I said sure. On the way home that same day she complimented my eyes and asked if I wore mascara. Being that I’ve always been a sarcastic ass I said, something like “Yup. If you like that, you should see me with my lipstick on.”

She broke up with me on the spot and started a rumor that I was gay. I’d blame her for the fact that I didn’t get any other girlfriends until high school, but it didn’t exactly score me any boyfriend’s either… so I guess it was just me. Lol.”

5. Unforgivable

“She criticized the way I cut green peppers. I learned from professional chefs, and she just butchered them when I asked her to show me how I was “supposed to do it”.

Also, she didn’t think dinosaurs ever existed. She was 23, and I was 24.”

6. That’s annoying

“I was seeing this guy who would always say “I forgive you” any time we slightly disagreed on something or I did something little like shut the car door too hard. I got so annoyed of being “forgiven” for things I hadn’t even apologized for.

Still irritates me and it’s supposed to be a polite thing. Irksome.”

7. The dreaded brown shirt

“He wore this one brown shirt I absolutely hated like once a week at least. I figured I didn’t really like him that much if I was so focused on one shirt. I was also 15.”

8. Realization

“Haha, that rings a bell with me. My first gf did something similar:

We went to the FiBo (Huge fitness fair in Germany) and got in line to get some goodies. The stand we were at handed out T-Shirts, both of us got the same size (she wanted hers oversized). A couple days later she mentioned that she didn’t really need or like her shirt and I said I’d take it – she wanted 5 bucks in exchange.

I really wanted that shirt, so I said screw it and gave her the money.

Month or two later, she wanted her shirt back. Didn’t give me my money back.

That was some serious Scrooge McDuck move lol. It made me realize however (along with a lot of other things she did) that this isn’t a person I wanna be with.”

9. $2

“She wanted $2 for my share of the pizza we bought after I filled up my car to take us and some friends to the mall. There was about 5 years of bullsh*t before that… but that $2 was the final straw.”

10. I need some space

“I was 17 and leaving for the Army. We had only been dating a couple months, and the night before I shipped out, she gave me one of those cringey morph photos of what your kids would look like based on pictures of the couple.

She wasn’t typically crazy, just really insecure and young me saw my life flash before my eyes. I sat her down and explained that it was a crazy stressful time, she was still a sophomore or junior in high school, and that I needed some space to get some life momentum and couldn’t string her along into the unknown. She cried, we hugged and kissed goodbye for about an hour, and that was that.”

11. Musician problems

“A friend who is obscenely into classical music was dating a violinist and broke up with her because she mispronounced Shostakovich.

Musician problems I guess.”

12. Bonus

“She was pissed I wasn’t sharing my year end bonus with **her**. She obviously snooped in my checkbook at home office.”

13. Can’t get past that tat

“A bad tattoo.

She had a really big (and bad) Alkaline Trio tattoo on her lower back. It was clearly from another time in her life. But for some reason I just couldn’t move past it. We’d be having sex and I just couldn’t stop looking at it.

Other than that I was really attracted to her. But I can still see that tattoo in my mind and it makes me cringe.”

14. Actually…

“She was mad at me because she thought I didn’t like her cat.
I liked the cat better than her, so I figured it was time to bow out.”

15. Choose

“She gave me one of those Force FX lightsabers, even though she wasn’t a Star Wars fan at all. 30-minutes later, she starts a fight and tries to take the lightsaber. I said it was a gift. “It’s me or the lightsaber,” she says.

It’s sitting above my office desk as I type this.”

The post People Reveal Some of the Pettiest Reasons They’ve Ended a Relationship appeared first on UberFacts.

Artist’s Adorable Illustrations Reveal the Hidden Side of Relationships

The prospect of a long-term relationship brings up pretty mixed reactions from people. Particularly for those who are single, long-term relationships might seem like a perfect romantic experience where couples sit around and cuddle and feed each other grapes all day. But anyone who’s actually been in a long-term relationship will tell you that that’s just not the case. Sure, there are tons of amazing moments that you’d never trade in a lifetime, but there are also plenty of others that aren’t as picture-perfect as Rom-Coms might have you believe.

But don’t just take my word for it. LA-based artist Amanda Oleander has been documenting the lives of couples behind closed doors and her work is way too relatable. She’s been dating a man named Joey for the past three years and is very open about how much their relationship has influenced her work. “Before I met Joey if anyone told me their love and relationship was like ours I wouldn’t believe it,” Oleander said in an interview with Bored Panda. ” It’s nothing less than amazing. We can’t get enough of each other.”

She went on to say that, “[She’s] enthralled by the way people behave behind closed doors, intimate moments we never get to see. Those are moments that can’t really be documented because if they were, it would alter the way the person behaved. So I draw them.”

You can check out some of Amanda’s work below.

1.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

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Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

That’s as real as it gets.

The post Artist’s Adorable Illustrations Reveal the Hidden Side of Relationships appeared first on UberFacts.

Girl Tries to Scam Tinder Date for a Free Fancy Dinner, Backfires Spectacularly

If you’re old enough to have dated both pre- and post-Tinder, you know how much the app has changed the game. One little swipe is all it takes now. Still, some things never change: dating was kinda sucky before, and it can still be pretty sucky now.

Instead of finding dates through mutual friends, we end up going out with strangers based on how somebody randomly answered our questions, then sitting across the table from people we don’t know at all, without any idea whether we like them that much.

I mean, how do we end up knowing less about a person despite having talked to them beforehand?!

Imgur user minilogo37 learned all of this the hard way. Because very soon into a Tinder date, he discovered that his “match” was just using him for dinner and drinks.

Photo Credit: Imgur

You can see where this is going, right?

Date orders the most expensive things on the menu.

No attempt at conversation.

Straight up scam city.

Photo Credit: Imgur

But minilogo37 didn’t take it lying down.

He fought back.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Boom.

Commenters were quick to praise him for his response to this nasty situation:

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Also, this being the internet, people had other solutions for avoiding this kind of situation:

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

And yeah, some thought OP was a dick…

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

Photo Credit: Imgur

What say you? Did she deserve it? Should he have stayed and paid?

The post Girl Tries to Scam Tinder Date for a Free Fancy Dinner, Backfires Spectacularly appeared first on UberFacts.

15+ Times Tinder Made Us Say ‘Holy Sh*t’ This Year

The world of online dating is pretty rough. Tinder, in particular, seems to be the butt of a lot of jokes – for good reason. It’s such a low-stakes situation – say something weird and get rejected? No worries, you can always just swipe on and match with someone else!

The Instagram page Tinder Nightmares has 2 million followers and it serves up the most awkward, hilarious, and painful Tinder conversations imaginable.

Get a load of these…

1. STD? Really?

2. Hahahahaha

3. Just one night baby

4. A little too early for that

5. Wow

6. Favorite President?

7. Blew it

8. Oh he did it

9. Classy gent

10. Relax…

11. Burned

12. No thanks

13. That’s all she wrote

14. Can’t count yet

15. Kind of disgusting

16. Need to change that name

17. Here’s the proof

18. Paranoia

19. Hmmmm

20. Please don’t tell me that worked

Nightmares, indeed.

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