Category: dad tweets

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Husbands Whose Humor Deserves a Slow Clap

There are two types of man humor – the jokes they think are funny, and the jokes that are legitimately funny.

I’m sorry to report that, for most men, the first type outnumber the second on most days – but that’s why we’re here, ready to give these 11 guys a round of applause.

Positive reinforcement!

11. That’s the way to a human heart.

Crosses all genders, ages, modes of being. Everybody loves THAT.

10. That’s below the belt. Literally.

I think the wife technically deserves the credit for the laugh, here.

9. At least you’re alive, honey!

There are probably other fantasies that play out differently. But this one… your memory is shot.

8. Now that’s some REAL real love.

It’s not always pretty, but there you have it.

7. Communication is key!

It sounds like they could use some work.

6. I fail to see the problem.

This drives my husband absolutely mad.

5. Sometimes being a grownup is cool.

Only sometimes, though.

4. Another 10% is doing the same thing in the house.

And if one of you IS gone, texting “when will you be home?”

3. Ain’t that the truth.

The coupons are how they get ya. And then the smell gets ya. And not in a good way.

2. I think he knew that wasn’t what they meant.

But it’s funnier this way, I suppose.

1. I mean, we need to know.

Yes, we know we already checked.

These made me snicker way more than I’d care to.

Are you chuckling? Yeah you are.

Tell us which one got to you in the comments!

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Hilarious Tweets From Dads Just Like You

I’ve been writing these tweet lists for a long time, but I’m still not ready to weigh in on whether moms or dads have cornered the market on internet humor.

There is one thing I can say for sure, though – dads definitely have their own patented brand of jokes. Which is obviously something these 12 dads have cashed in on in a big way.

12. She will, too.

On the upside, you probably don’t really need another pair of socks, anyway.

Image Credit: Twitter

11. That will definitely do it.

I think the church should look into that.

Image Credit: Twitter

10. Why would they do it any earlier?

They’re not about helping you out.

Image Credit: Twitter

9. Some things just aren’t worth fighting about.

Especially not when they’re hilarious.

Image Credit: Twitter

8. Weird kids are my favorite.

As long as they don’t kill me in my sleep.

Image Credit: Twitter

7. Skills for a lifetime, my friends.

You absolutely can never laugh when you shouldn’t with kids.

Image Credit: Twitter

6. It’s a good skill to have.

Being prepared is also advisable.

Image Credit: Twitter

5. She’s obviously a genius so.

No arguments here.

Image Credit: Twitter

4. She probably knew what she was doing.

That, or she just really likes you with a beard.

Image Credit: Twitter

3. You’ve gotta admire his thinking.

You don’t have to give him the popsicle, though.

Image Credit: Twitter

2. They’re so sweet.

I mean, at least he’s going to miss you.

Image Credit: Twitter

1. Rage cleaning is the only way to live.

Or the only way to ensure other people live, anyway.

Image Credit: Twitter

Dad jokes are welcome here any time, y’all. I love it.

What’s your favorite dad joke? I want to hear all of the best ones in the comments!

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Dads That Are Making You Laugh While They Cry

Parenting can be so hard sometimes, but still, there is usually some kind of comedy to be found within the madness, if you look hard enough.

Everyone knows that laughter is the best way to stop yourself from crying (or to make your cryfest seem less sad, I suppose), and these 17 dads are here to bring you the laughs from within their own crazy lives.

17. A terrorist is a terrorist people.

We can’t let them win.

16. Spoiler Alert: it’s not pretty.

Like when you accidentally turn the camera to face yourself.

15. They will ruin anything you’re excited about.

This is absolutely true just show them a beloved movie from your childhood, you’ll see.

14. Kids thrive on schedules, you know.

Even for fighting with their siblings, I guess.

13. Better safe than sorry.

This makes me laugh just thinking about it.

12. Unless you want her to get made fun of at school.

No parent wants that, I don’t think.

11. This will not work out in your favor.

Each kid gets just a little bit less smart.

10. This guy’s kids are the kids of my soul.

Snacks are life, y’all, don’t @ me.

9. I’m not sure you want to intrigue him quite so much.

Human biology will do that on its own.

8. Hahaha what is sleeping?

I’ve heard of it, and maybe remember it, but…?

7. Time for a science experiment!

You’re homeschooling, right?

6. These are the laws of the universe.

Ask a physicist who has children; they’ll tell you.

5. Just another day in paradise.

If he’s five, you’ve long ago figured out how to poo in not-peace.

4. Also they have like 6 limbs!

Maybe more. It’s hard to tell when they’re all going for your face.

3. Neither can your 6yo, probably.

What even is time these days, anyway?

2. They say she’s learning.

Soon she will refuse to do our jobs, parents.

1. They can grow them at will.

Just sit at a table with food on it and a baby on your lap and you will see.

Oh my goodness, those dads are going THROUGH it, y’all!

How do you remember to find the humor in every situation? Tell us your secrets in the comments!

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Dads Who Have Nailed This Parenting Thing

Nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to be a parent. You think you’re ready, that you can handle it, and while the latter will turn out to be true, the former is not.

Seriously, you are not ready.

These 11 dads were surely in that same boat with no paddle, but somewhere along the way, they’ve managed to shore up the holes.

11. A cup is a cup. Or is it?

If you need a drink, any one will do.

10. You never even realized it, did you?

Maybe you even disliked it before, but you won’t now. Promise!

9. Not exactly conducive to doing the business.

You learn to make the magic happen, though, right?

8. This sounds like my boys! Or all boys, for that matter.

We love schedules around here.

7. These are the facts of life. For real.

You’re a morning person now. Congrats.

6. It really is, girlfriend.

A wise child.

5. Time for a science experiment.

We’re all homeschooling now anyway.

4. They have an infinite number of limbs.

At the dinner table, it’s like 37.

3. Competitiveness is innate, it would seem.

Maybe I can get my husband to do things the same way.

2. In her defense, what does time matter these days?

Ice cream for breakfast, 2020.

1. We’re just so hopeful every time.

We don’t vacation with kids, we take trips.

Parenting goals, right?  I love when dads make me laugh – it’s a special brand of giggles.

What about you? Any of these tickle your funny bone?

Let us know in the comments, fam!

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These Men Are Full-On Embracing the Dad Life

There’s no use in fighting the inevitable.

We’re all going to age – our hair will go gray, our backs will hurt for no reason, we’ll have a tummy, and we’ll start to sound exactly like our parents.

So if you’re a man with kids, you might as well just give into the idea of being the daddest dad on the block! I mean, these 13 men have, and it seems to be working for them.

13. This is one of the weirdest dad genes out there.

Seriously, they all do it!

12. That just seems like a lot of work.

But I mean, I guess what else do you have to do?

11. Now you get to be in charge of people who might actually listen!

Of course, if they don’t you can’t send them to their room.

10. When one just won’t do.

Don’t they know we all have time on our hands?

9. Part of the dad charm is how hard they try.

It’s sweet but also she really wants her hair to look nice.

8. Ah, just what everyone concerned mother wants to hear!

On opposite day, maybe.

7. No one can argue that this is not peak dad.

Some men wait their whole lives for a day like that.

6. If you nap on the couch you can claim you’re just “resting your eyes.”

And that’s bonus points, I’m pretty sure.

5. AND HE’S KEEPING TRACK.

Are there hash marks somewhere do you suppose, or…?

4. Knowing your limitations is part of becoming an adult.

Also what in the hell is a Big Green Egg?

3. They were thankful before they had to hear the lecture that went along.

Yes, speaking from experience here.

2. Just dads being every day heroes.

I lol’d at “strongly worded” though.

1. He’s just living the dream.

Seriously, though, New Orleans should always be a yes.

We’ve grown up and had kids; there’s no looking back! Might as well lean into it, I say.

Guys, what was the moment when you stopped and thought “man I really am a dad now?” I want to hear about it in the comments!

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People Are Telling Dads That They Put Olive Oil in Their Cars, and Dads Are Very Upset

There have some innocent and funny Internet challenges that have involved intentionally riling up one’s parents. And I mean…it’s really their fault for having goats that are so easily gotten, right?

Like how easy it is to freak out your dad (or husband for that matter) by pretending to have done something totally ignorant and potentially harmful to your vehicle.

Enter the latest challenge: texting your father that you’ve put olive oil into your car engine thinking it was the same as motor oil.

And guys. Dads are not disappointing us.

Though they may be disappointed in us.

15. He’s going to call CPS.

Image Credit: Twitter

14. Always so helpful.

Image Credit: Twitter

13. Duh!

Image Credit: Twitter

12. Are you sure his was, though?

Image Credit: Twitter

11. Okay, Boomer.

Image Credit: Twitter

10. Talk about taking it in stride!

Image Credit: Twitter

9. He’s going to request a paternity test now.

Image Credit: Twitter

8. Wow he even managed to slip in a Dad joke.

Image Credit: Twitter

7. Always the pragmatists.

Image Credit: Twitter

6. The “I suspect you are not” has to sting!

Image Credit: Twitter

5. Think of the FARMERS.

Image Credit: Twitter

4. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Image Credit: Twitter

3. He really wishes you had an excuse.

Image Credit: Twitter

2. This is a man who knows how things work.

Image Credit: Twitter

1. He’s *pretty* sure he didn’t marry a moron.

Image Credit: Twitter

I’m too old to try this on my dad so I guess I’ll have to wait for the next one.

Boo.

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