I’m a book person, and I don’t discriminate in this modern age, either. You can read ebook, listen to audiobook, or read the old fashioned way; it doesn’t matter, only the fact that you love stories does.
If that describes you, well, these 12 jokes are going to be right up your alley.
12. He’s definitely going to get the girl.
*stands outside your window holding a boom box above my head blasting my favorite audiobook*
— andrew (@AndrewChamings) May 29, 2018
11. That’s one sad state of affairs.
If I were a literary character, I would be the grandpa in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory that doesn't get to go
— Timmy
(@TheTimmyToes) September 27, 2015
10. Any idea where we can get these?
Candle scents that I would buy:
1) scholastic book fair
2) lite-brite
3) the fear of my enemies— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) November 19, 2018
9. IE: not my type.
You seem like the type of person that says the movie is better than the book.
— Annie the Nanny (@AnnietheNanny1) October 17, 2018
8. I would second this.
The middle initials "R.R.", a ranked list:
1. J.R.R. Tolkien
2. George R.R. Martin
3. The Children R.R. Future— Line Art Lionheart (@notalogin) February 28, 2016
7. No way would that ruin your life.
Ho ho! Goddamn good thing we didn’t have social media when I was a teenager! The LAST thing I need now is pictures of me reading Lord of the Rings alone in bed popping up and ruining my life.
— Elena Lifewaster Jr. (@elunatyk) February 11, 2019
6. My eyes are leaking.
~HOGWARTS~
Professor: then just flick your wand and–
Harry Potter: ACCIO MY PARENTS
[silence]
Professor: err that’s not really how it–
Harry: accio a hug
— elvish presley (@_elvishpresley_) November 5, 2018
5. This is what books have taught us.
if you have a crush on someone, you can take a risk and tell them or you can change your name, become a count, uncover a massive fortune in gold and jewels buried on a remote isle and slowly avenge yourself on her husband who threw you in prison to die.
— The Library Owl
(@SketchesbyBoze) February 8, 2019
4. I’m not sure that’s what they had planned.
was listening to the very hungry caterpillar audiobook in my car and accidentally spent $174.09 at the drive-thru
— respectable efforter (@TweetPotato314) November 12, 2018
3. Sometimes you just have a good feeling, I guess.
Dumbledore: “What are your strengths?”
Hagrid: “Breeding monsters and putting children in imminent danger.”
Dumbledore: “Any convictions?”
Hagrid: “Several.”
Dumbledore: “Can you practice magic?”
Hagrid: “Not legally.”
Dumbledore: “….you’re fucking hired.”
— Daniel (@Mr_DrEsquire) October 6, 2018
2. Poor Filch got no respect.
HOGWARTS JANITOR: Isn’t there a spell that could clean this up?
DUMBLEDORE: [handing him a mop] Yeah but I’m tired.
— Nate Usher (@thenatewolf) November 9, 2018
1. Welcome to the future.
my moms hearing aids are bluetooth wired and she just told me sometimes when she’s in meetings she turns off the listening to people function and just streams audiobooks directly into her ears
— antoine bugleboy (@veryeva) January 21, 2019
I’m off to finish my very first Toni Morrison novel right now, actually – and I promise to at least try not to be too pretentious about it afterward.
What’s your favorite book to tell people to read?
Share it with us in the comments!
The post Here are Some Jokes for the Book Lovers in the House appeared first on UberFacts.
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