Book people are the greatest!
They’re also my people, which is why I’m so excited about sharing this list of funny, insightful, pithy tweets about our very favorite things.
Book people are also also hilarious, as is evidenced below – so get ready for a big ol’ grin that just won’t quit.
14. I feel like this would definitely get you an A.
ME: I will now give my Moby Dick presentation as a rap
TEACHER: I specifically told you not to d–
ME: His palms are sweaty, Queequeg's harpoon heavy, there's something on his sweater already, spermaceti
— Andrew Fowler (@fowlerism) July 25, 2018
13. She knew it was coming.
editor: this better not be like last time
kafka: it's a coming of age story
editor: ok
kafka: about a boy who's changed, but his family won’t accept him
editor: i'm listening
kafka: because he's changed into a bug
editor: there we go
kafka: like a real big fuckin bug
— Elly 101 (@ellewasamistake) January 10, 2020
12. I’m pretty sure this is historically accurate.
HARPER LEE: I don't know what to call my novel
MOCKING BIRD: It's probably garbage anyway
HARPER LEE [picking up a gun] ok I have one idea
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) April 19, 2018
11. Seriously what was wrong with him?
John Steinbeck writing the ending to Of Mice and Men https://t.co/d0lWWlmSlV
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) October 22, 2019
10. I just groaned and snorted at the same time.
(english major moving apartments) there’s a lot to unpack here
— dylan (@spiritnght) September 1, 2018
9. Strictly speaking there’s nothing wrong with old books though.
ron weasley: i have to use old books
harry potter: wow
ron: and torn up shitty clothes
harry: yuck lol
ron: would be crazy if my best friend had a vault full of gold and could maybe help me out a little
harry: ya lmao that would be crazy
— randy (@leakypod) January 3, 2020
8. I want to say YTA, but…
I [35M] married a woman [32F] from a slave-owning family for money. She had mental illness and cheated on me, so I removed her from home and loved ones and chained her in an attic. Now I want to marry an employee [18F] without telling her I’m married because she’ll say no. AITA?
— Elizabeth Picciuto
(@epicciuto) January 3, 2020
7. Some of us have made real accomplishments in this life.
I’d just like everyone to know that one of my pals thinks “what a sad little life Jane” is a quote from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë and not from the greatest ever ending to come dine with me
— andy (@gothicdogsclub) December 27, 2019
6. Cathy Catherine Cath Linton Heathcliff.
ME, SOBBING: Please, Emily, you can't give all your 100 characters the same 4 names
EMILY BRONTE: *points* That's Earnshaw Linton. *points* That's Cathy Heathcliff. *points* Heathcliff Linton. *points* Cathy Cathy. *points* Earnshaw Cathy Jr. *pause* And they're all GHOSTS.— Gee Aitch Cee (@Scriblit) July 30, 2018
5. Publishing, man. It never changes.
PUBLISHER: So it’s got vampires?
BRAM STOKER: Yes.
PUBLISHER: Sex?
BRAM STOKER: Yes.
PUBLISHER: A lunatic asylum?
BRAM STOKER: Yes.
PUBLISHER: It needs something more.
BRAM STOKER: [scratches head] A… a cowboy?
PUBLISHER: Fucking sold.— Ross Daniel Bullen (@BullenRoss) August 14, 2018
4. And we’ve all chosen Harry Potter, clearly.
Before you turn 18 you have to choose exactly one of these books to read and then never stop talking about for the rest of your life:
-Harry Potter
-The Great Gatsby
-Animal Farm
-The Communist Manifesto
-1984
-The Bible— Jules (@Julian_Epp) August 20, 2018
3. Why am I not surprised?
so you mean to tell me , Willy Wonka sent golden tickets AROUND THE WORLD, and 5 WHITE children got them all?!?!!
— samia (@PotatoHamps) January 11, 2020
2. They’re not hard to find.
Nobody:
The morally bankrupt minor character in a Jane Austen novel: https://t.co/c67f4FYm59
— Brandon (@blgtylr) November 4, 2019
1. No way this dude had friends.
you: let’s get this bread
j.d. salinger, an intellectual: let’s catch this rye
— iain robertson (@yoiain) January 6, 2019
I love each and every one of these, and also think I need to step up my Twitter game!
Which was your favorite? Share with us in the comments – and tell us what your favorite book-related account is while you’re at it!
The post 14 Tweets for All You Book Lovers Out There appeared first on UberFacts.