Category: askreddit

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15 Parents Confess the Worst Thing They’ve Done in Front of Their Teenager

Parents aren’t perfect, and let’s face it – by the time you kid is a teenager, they are probably already well aware of that fact. Even so, I’m not sure some of these 15 kids were entirely prepared for the moment their parents did this.

#15. Just bemused.

“Went to my 12 year old son’s end of season dinner for his sports team, just an informal get together at a local family pizza place on a Friday night. One of the parents brought multiple cases of wine with him (wine salesman) and we all went a bit nuts. I don’t drink much these days so it hit me extra hard. Apparently when we were walking home I was hiding in the bushes then leaping out at random people pretending to be a Nosferatu type vampire and hissing at them. Hissing! My poor kid was mortified. Ps I’m a hobbit sized woman so the people passing weren’t scared by me, just bemused/annoyed.”

#14. Oh god.

“Not the parent but my boyfriend in high school was having a friend stay over and he forgot something at home and he went in to grab it and walked in on an orgy. We all felt so bad for that kid like… Oh god…”

#13. Never watched Tarzan again.

I woke up at night to grab some food, as I walked to the stairs I saw my dad crawling naked on the stairs making sounds like Tarzan on it’s way to my mom. never watched Tarzan again.

#12. We laugh about it now.

“My husband left us when my daughter was nine. I was single until last year when left she high school and went to college.

When she was fifteen she was supposed to be staying the night at a friend’s house so I had a friend of my own over. We got a little drunk and started hooking up on the couch and I got his pants down and he had the biggest rig I’ve ever seen in person. I went down on him.

And then my daughter came home early because her friend got sick. She walked in on me with this guy’s giant penis in my mouth and went “Mom what the fuck?! Holy shit!” and ran out of the room.

We were all mortified.

EDIT: Holy hell this blew up. No I don’t want to see your dicks. His size was only important to the story because it was big enough to make my poor daughter’s reaction go from mortified to just shocked, then back to mortified. No life isn’t a porn movie. She and I laugh about it now.”

#11. Folded up.

“Late, but funny. My girlfriends dad came home late after a night of drinking when she was a kid, didn’t know my girlfriend was having her friends for a sleepover. he stumbled in her room to give her a kiss goodnight and tripped over a cot in the middle of her room. he was confused as to why it was there, so he did the nice dad thing of putting her cot away for her. turns out there was a teenage girl sleeping in said cot that got folded up. Makes for good storytelling.”

#10. Home unannounced.

“Hope this qualifies: With our daughter away at college the wife and I would take advantage of many situations to do the bump-bump. One day I came home from work and I heard the shower running. I went into the bathroom and reached inside the shower curtain and pinched her ass. All of a sudden I hear this voice say, “what the fuck dad?” Apparently our daughter decided to come home for the weekend unannounced. I think I was more fucked up over it than she was.”

#9. The worst thing I could think of.

“The worst thing I could think of was my dad yelling at some guy that stole a parking space he was waiting for… this thread makes me appreciate having such a good childhood.”

#8. I got caught.

“I got caught masturbating. Didn’t hear them come in, they threw open the shower curtain to prank me. Couldn’t look ’em in the eye for a week.

Edit: The prank was the bucket of freezing cold water they were about to throw on me, not just ripping the curtain open to expose my shame.

Also, my top comment is about masturbating. Not sure if I should be proud or ashamed!”

#7. My stepdad’s fault.

“Kinda funny. When I was about 12, my mom threw a wooden cutting board at my stepdad. He dodged it, and the cutting board obliterated some super fancy antique set of spice storage jars my mom held dear to her heart. This was, of course, my stepdad’s fault.”

#6. Thought I was alone.

“Thought I was alone with my wife in the kitchen. Shoved my hands down her backside, started grabbing her butt like it was bread dough. Told her I was going to **** her until she passed out. We are into it and then I look up and lock eyes with my son. He doesn’t look traumatized or grossed out. He just starts laughing like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen. I’m telling you: two decades later and I’d still drop everything to grab my wife’s butt. She’s a hotty!”

#5. Guess what?

“My daughter was 17 when this happened:

An old friend called me and wanted to hang out so I said sure. I’m not a drinker but occasionally I’ll smoke weed. Until then I’d only smoked out if pipes and occasionally a doob. My friend handed me this weird looking pen thing and thinking it would be like a normal high I hit it hand three times pretty hard.

This wasn’t like smoking a doobie.

I was the highest I had ever been and my friend saw this and took me home. It happened that my daughter was home (summer) when I got through the door. I went directly to my room thinking I could just sleep this off. Unfortunately I am one of those people who gets ravenous when I get high and I was in no way able to cook anything. So I’m thinking about what I had in the kitchen and my brain flashed on cornbread. I could make cornbread. It turned out I couldn’t and I gave up after mixing the ingredients. So I’ve got raw cornbread mix and I’m really God damn hungry so my messed up brain just says “Fuck it. Eat the cornbread.” And I did.

About halfway through the bowl my daughter comes in the kitchen. There is no way in hell I can hide eating uncooked cornbread so I looked at her and said “hi! Guess what???” Her answer ? “Mom, I know you’re high.”

The story is not over.

An hour later I’m still high watching YouTube. I happened to be watching something like this (https://youtu.be/rGOOlcdpfLg). My daughter is crazy talented with makeup. I am not. She already knew I was stoned anyways so I asked her to give me a makeover like that. She did but it turned out terrible. The reason it was so bad was because I turned on my webcam just to watch transformation during the process. I could not stop laughing at how ridiculous I looked the longer she spent on my face which made her laugh.

She still gives me shit about 5 years later.”

#4. Could not stop laughing.

“Going to a movie with my 15 year old, getting out of the car I turn just wrong and twinge my back. She asks whats wrong and I say “I threw my back out humping your mom last night.”

She is looking at me like a deer in headlights, and I cannot stop laughing, which incidentally did not help my back.”

#3. Just any man.

“Friend was the parent. Found him in complete shock saying he was trying to stay calm, but knowing he’d just messed up with his teenage daughter.

Before breakfast at the start of what was going to be a non-stop busy day he decided to shoot a foreplay text to his girlfriend about some kinky thing he was going to do to her that night.

At the table he decided to sneak it in while his daughters went into the kitchen to grab the food… only he accidentally sent it to one of them… and it notified on her phone as they were walking back to the table.

He said the girls sat, and the one asked why he just texted her. He said “hmm?” – as he quizzically watched her eyes process what she read, look at him with betrayal, and then his heart slammed to a stop.

He realized what happened too late, or he said he would’ve dove across the table and knocked the phone out of her hand.

Cue a profuse apology and long address to many tearful questions about how daddy wasn’t lying that every man should respect women – it’s just that some women want to have certain things done and said when it’s only supposed to be a private matter between two consenting adults.

She now is over it, but from then on he went from being her hero, to just an any man.

Edit: for clarity”

#2. Nothing to see here.

“This happened to my husband. We had a whole gaggle of teenage kiddos over at our house one Friday night. My husband had a few beers, and then snuck off behind the garage to have a smoke. He doesn’t smoke in front of me since I quit. He had bummed a really strong cig, and it made him super dizzy. Just as he was keeling over, a group of teenagers came along the path just in time to see him fall over onto the lawnmower. He pretended to be getting ready to mow, which made them howl with laughter. They still talk about “that time Dad fell and tried to cover it up by saying he was going to mow at 11pm”

#1. A pony named Speedy.

“Shit I am so late to the party, but ..

My dad always tells the story of when he was 6 or 7 and his father (my grandpa) came home from a rowdy night of drinking. My dad says my grandpa sidled slowly into the kitchen with a rope in his hand and my grandma, who was sitting at the kitchen table, asked what he had done.

He then led a miniature pony into the kitchen.

The pony was named Speedy, he bit like a motherfucker and would never let anyone ride him, and one day he ran off. They lived around a lot of farmland so we like to think someone took him in and got the devil out of him.”

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12 People Reveal Why They’re Still Single

It’s one thing to ask your friends or family why they think you’re still single, and quite another to self-assess. These 12 people took a frank look in the mirror and share with the world the truth (in their eyes) about why they haven’t found that special someone.

#12. Wine and takeaway pizza

“I really can’t be bothered to put myself out there. I’m a lazy fuck and I’d much rather laze around with friends than go out and meet people. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, but I’m also a hedonist who likes lounging in pyjamas in my bed. Give me wine and takeaway pizza any day.”

#11. A hard truth

“Because even though one is the loneliest number, two can be bad as one.”

#10. It must be

“Probably I am just too handsome and nobody dare to approach, yes it must be.”

#9. But with a nice vocabulary

“I’m a boring & misanthropic hermit with a lot of trust issues and self loathing.”

#8. Because, people

“Because I hate people and finding someone to date is a pain in the ass.”

#7. The grind

“When you work 60 to 70 hours a week you don’t have time to talk to anyone.”

#6. Peace and quiet

“I’m introverted, self conscious, and I love peace and quiet, so I just don’t seek relationships. Also, the world is populated enough already.”

#5. Everyone has their thing

“My personality is as attractive as a turd.”

#4. Because of the kids

“I was widowed when my kids were 5, 9, 11 and 13. They came first in my life. Now that they’re grown and successful, I’m too set in my ways and comfortable on my own.”

#3. One is the happiest number

“Honestly, I don’t want a partner. People never believe me when I say it, but it really is true.

I was in a relationship for years, and I was depressed. At the time I didn’t realise what the problem was, but then when it ended (and after a period of not knowing what to do with myself) I became happier than I’d ever been.

I’ve been in a couple of short-lived relationships since, and they were fine, but I still wasn’t as happy as when I was single, so I had to end them.

I think the whole “You MUST find the person of your dreams otherwise you will be SAD and LONELY” is complete bullshit.

There are other things in life. Hobbies. Friendship. Family.

I do want children at some point though, so I may run into trouble there…”

#2. A sausage fest

“I’m a guy in an industry that is all guys. All my friends and friends of friends are married. It’s a real challenge to meet any women when your life is an endless sausage fest and no one you know is single.”

#1. Never settle

“I decided I’d rather have no relationship at all than one that doesn’t fit quite right.”

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15 People Own up to Believing in These Full-Blown Conspiracy Theories

Area 51 is real and the government has been keeping it a secret. We’ll never know who really killed JFK. The chickens used by KFC are headless, flightless “birds” that are never actually alive.

Whether you’re willing to admit to it or not, there’s probably at least one conspiracy theory that makes you wonder whether it could possibly be true. But these 15 people are sure they’ve found one that is legit.

#15. Everyone knows this

“The opioid epidemic in USA is from insurance companies being too cheap to pay for a real treatment.

Giving someone percocet is much cheaper than doing MRIs, surgery and physical therapy.

Especially true for car crash victims and being hurt on the job. Every personal injury attorney knows this.”

#14. Wake up, sheeple

“The hours between 3-5 Am are a hallucination brought about by sleep deprivation

Wake up Sheeple”

#13. Ladies, unite

“That women’s clothing doesn’t have proper pockets so they’re pushed to by purses and whatnot.”

#12. Put down your phones

“The Facebook app records everything you say to send you targeted ads.”

#11. They’re coming for us all

“bitcoin was created by a rogue AI.”

#10. It’s definitely weird

“Mattress stores being mob money laundering operations. There are too many of them that are always open with NO customers. It’s weird.”

#9. A sporting chance

“The NBA is rigged and Tim Donaghy wasnt the only ref rigging games for his own benefit.”

#8. A royal question

“No idea if this is basically conspiracy theory, but I 100 percent believe that Princess Diana was trying to run away from being murdered and got killed anyway.”

#7. I just assumed

“Octopuses are aliens.”

#6. The truth is out there

“Oklahoma City bombing was a bigger plot than we are allowed to know.”

#5. Secrets don’t make friends

“Taylor Swift is a lesbian and has been in a happy relationship with supermodel Karlie Kloss for years. Her latest album is about Karlie.”

#4. Damn the man

“The powers that be plant the seeds of fake conspiracy theories for internet conspiracy theorists to find and assemble. They then use social media algorithms to bubble the results. So any conspiracy theory that you read on the internet is just what The Man wants you to believe.”

#3. Troll masters

“IHOP claims their new name (IHOB) stands for “international house of Burgers” but it’s definitely “international house of Breakfast”, and they’re all just trolling us.”

#2. Tech games

“Progress in every technology is thwarted by big business who protect their interests by slowly letting it come to the public sphere.”

#1. He didn’t get what he deserved

“Hitler survived and became a goat herder in Argentina. I saw a declassified file on the CIA official website and it looks like him. I’m training to be a history teacher so I won’t teach that in school but if I’m asked in private…. Yo soy führer.”

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12 Discontinued Products People Want to See Make a Comeback

I don’t know about you, but I really miss some of the toys I played with as an 80s kid (and some of the food that will probably one day have given me seven kinds of mutated cancer). If there are products that you miss, check out this list – these folks have come up with some good ones!

#12. The good old days

“The original formulation for Pyrex glass that wasn’t so brittle.”

#11. Cheesy goodness

“Planters cheese balls (from the can), or their cheese doodles.”

#10. Old school

“In Germany, there used to be this ice pop in a cup that was full of these fizzy bits that fizzed up on your tongue. It was called Blizz and came in two flavours, lemon and cola, and was intensely sour and really refreshing. It was released in 1994 or so and stopped a few years after. Even after so many year, I totally miss it.”

#9. Bring on the choking hazards

“Cool toys in kids’ cereal boxes.”

#8. All time favs

“I can’t find if anyone has mentioned it already but oh my gatos WENDY’S SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS. All time favorite fast food item.”

#7. More LEGOs, please

“All the Lego products they no longer make, like Mars.”

#6. My jam

“Those lifesavers hard candies with the cream and flavor (I loved strawberry).

And Philadelphia cream cheese bars. Those were my jam in middle school.

Edit- creamsavers and cheesecake bars. Thanks to those of you who reminded me haha.”

#5. Fry them up!

“Fried apple pies from McDonalds.”

#4. The perfect combination

“There were these peanut butter snacks made by Planters, I don’t know what they were called. They were made out of the stuff that ice cream cones are made out and filled with peanut butter. They were shaped like little peanuts. I miss the hell out of those.”

#3. Great memories

“Alpha Bits cereal.

There wasn’t anything special about the flavor (very lightly-frosted cheerio-like flavor). But every morning before pre-school and kindergarten, I would eat these for breakfast with my mom and we’d play the ‘Alpha Bits game’. I would randomly pick a letter from my bowl, and we would take turns coming up with words that started with that letter. When we couldn’t come up with anything anymore, we would shout ‘Eat It!’ and I’d eat the letter. Yes, breakfast took a while, but it’s a great memory.”

#2. Taco Bell dreamin’

“Just going to list my Taco Bell wishes:

Baja Sauce

Spicy chicken crunchwrap

Volcano sauce

Diet Baja Blast (it existed for like 2 seconds, I swear to God)

Chicken Flatbreads

Beefy Crunch Burrito with the hot fritos

That’s just off the top of my head. All of those are better than trying to make any deep-fried chicken concoction they keep offering, which is all they seem to be doing these days.

Edit: The sauce on a Cheesy Gordita Crunch is a spicy ranch, not Baja.

Edit: Holy shit you guys love Chili Cheese Burritos”

#1. Please and thank you

“Full sized spare tires in cars… please and much thanks.”

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15 People Share the Awesomely Weird Way They Bonded with a Complete Stranger

Human beings can be hard. We’re gruff, caught up in our own crap, or sometimes just having a bad day. Which makes it all the sweeter when you magically bond with a random person over a shared interest, moment of need, or common experience.

#15. Dying together

“One of my best friends took me out for “proper” Caribbean food, the place was legit. Looked like somebody just took out most of the walls on the ground floor of their house and started serving people food. It smelled amazing. It looked amazing. I had my friend order for me because how the hell was I going to know what was good?

It was hot. Spicy like I wasn’t ready for. It was like a punch in the throat… and then being kicked repeatedly in the mouth as you were trying to recover. The heat kept growing every time you thought it had to plateau. My head started leaking. My eyes watered. My nose ran. It felt like smoke should have been coming from my ears or lava from my mouth.

I glance up and there’s the one other not-Caribbean-looking person going through the same thing a few tables over. Bright red and glistening with sweat, snot, tears, saliva just panting and looking helpless.

We never exchanged a word but we were together in that moment. The split second I caught his eye was sublime. Everything I wanted to say but couldn’t was reflected back at me. All I wanted was to be understood and I was.”

#14. Language barrier

“I was on a two week work rotation at a automotive plant down by Mexico city. My job was setting up some high precision measurement devices. One of the local interns came up to me and started asking all kinds of questions about my company’s equipment ( I think). Now, I dont speak a bit of Spanish beyond a few words and he did not speak English. He started to get real discouraged. Wanting to figure out what he was talking about, I got my phone and used Google Translate to ask him to use the phone. We sat in silence for the next two hours while I continued to work, passing my phone back and forth useing Google Translate to text each other. It was an odd experience and he was an awesome guy full of intelligent questions. I never went back to that plant but my coworker said he ended up doing his senior project on what my company was working on.”

#13. A moment of brilliance, witnessed

“I have a standing coffee date with my friend at this tiny boutique coffee shop in NYC. The line can get pretty crazy, but we get there early enough to get seats most of the time. He and I are enjoying our lavender lattes and chatting about life, and I am watching the line grow longer and longer.

The clientele at this coffee shop ranges from tourists to midtown office workers in their business formal/business casual wear. One of the office workers in line opens up his wallet before his turn so he can pay quickly. He drops his credit card and sticks out his foot to soften the blow.

His credit card falls and gets stuck in the seam of his leather shoe at a perfect right angle. He is standing there with his leg still sticking out, his jaw open as he stares at this card quivering. He looks around to see if anyone else witnessed this, and our eyes meet.

His eyebrows shoot up and he points at his shoe. I nod furiously and give him the thumbs up. It’s his turn at the register so he pulls the card out reluctantly and pays. After he gets his coffee he comes over.

“Oh my gosh did you see that?!”

“IT WAS AMAZING! YOU ARE A NINJA!”

“BEST START TO THE MORNING EVER!”

We high five, and he leaves with his large iced caramel bourbon latte.”

#12. There’s friendship in truth

“Dude was trying to sell me his mix tape every night as I’m walking into work for a solid week. After awhile I started ragging on him like “DAMN BRUH YOU STILL TRYIN TO SELL THAT SHITTY ASS MIX TAPE?!?!”

So for the past month when we pass each other in the parking lot we talk shit to each other to see who has the best insult of the night.”

#11. Joint laughter

“A few couples, gf and I included, were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, when a woman comes in with three or four small children. One couple had just finished eating and was walking toward the door to leave, when the smallest of the children walks right in front of the man and just stops directly in his path, maybe a foot in front of him, so he has to awkwardly stop and move around the kid. The kid’s mother snaps, “Say excuse me!” and the poor, shy woman who was with the man sheepishly let out an, “excuse me,” while looking at her feet, to which the mother just says, “not you.” As soon as that couple was out the door, everyone who had heard the whole exchange was cracking up over it.”

#10. Basically family

“I helped a guy on the bus figure out where to stop and told him what bus to catch next to get to his destination and he gave me a beer from his backpack. another guy recognized that it wasn’t a twist off so he whipped out his keychain bottle opener and opened it for me.

I never saw either of them again but they’re basically family.”

#9. Just go with it

“This took place years ago. I was 17, flying on board a DC-9. I was sitting on a window seat, the middle seat empty. Some guy of about 40 I think, who I later realised was a very nervous flyer (1st time?) sitting on the aisle seat. Anyway, coming in for landing, this guy grabs my hand. I turn in shock and look at him. The fear and shame I saw in his eyes really shook me. Well, we held hands till we landed and he left without a word. I’m a guy.”

#8. All you need is love

“Concerts. I’ve put my arms around people I’ve never spoken to and treated as if we’ve been friends forever

Edit. Reading your comments makes me happy. Lots of good memories at concerts”

#7. Pokemon love

“During Pokemon Go craze… saw this dude running towards my direction and I pointed to him where this Snorlax had appeared… he’s staying near my block so we exchange numbers and whatsapp each other when rare pokemon appears…. it’s crazy bonding with a random stranger for both 30+ guys playing pokemon lol”

#6. You can call me Camille

“I was waiting for a bus at, like, 6:30 in the morning and there was a homeless lady at the stop, just kind of hanging out. My experience with homeless people and public transportation hasn’t been the best so I was immediately hyperaware of my surroundings and her presence. She came over and started making small talk and I didn’t get the sense that she was dangerous (a stereotype, I know) and so I tried to keep the conversation going because I didn’t want to be rude or upset her.

She ends up telling me how she used to live in the area and how she used to be an actress but got into drugs and pretty much lost everything. She started telling me about her experience as a homeless person. She said she was reluctant to accept clothes from strangers because other homeless people have beaten her up and robbed her for having nice jackets or shoes. She mentioned that she prefers sleeping on concrete because when she would sleep on grass in public parks, she could feel bugs crawling on her at night. She mentioned that she once saw a fatal car accident, and saw how people left flowers and candles at the site, and how lucky the victim must have been to have so many people love them.

My bus arrived and I said, “Well, it was nice to meet you. I hope you have a good day! What was your name again?” And I will never forget the look of surprise on her face as she said, with tears welling in her eyes, “I…don’t…remember. But you can call me Camille.”

I never knew what this meant but I interpreted it to mean that nobody had asked her name in a long time or that nobody had taken the time to have a conversation with her in a long time. Maybe she just needed to be heard. I have never seen her again but I will always remember that experience, as uncomfortable as it made me at first.”

#5. The extra mile

“Truck driver ran out of fuel a mile from the truck stop I worked at with his young daughter in the truck. He walked to our store and I told the only other person working I was going to load up a five gallon bucket of diesel in my truck to get him to the pumps. We get to his truck and put the fuel in, won’t start of course because I was an idiot and didn’t think about needing to prime the filter. Go back for ten more gallons, prime it, finally get it started and he gets to the pumps to fill up. While he’s fueling I remembered I’d been killing our claw machine on my break earlier and I picked out a cute stuffed animal so when his daughter came in with him after fueling I could give it to her to make it seem like not such a big deal(she seemed very worried while we tried to get the truck going). It has been twelve years or so and I still have him on my Facebook and occasionally get to see updates on him and his lovely little girl ❤”

#4. That escalated quickly

“Ripped open a strict Muslim girl’s dress in public. She was in front of me on an escalator and got it stuck at the landing. I couldn’t pull her loose and she was freaking the fuck out, so I went the desperate measures route. We had a good laugh about it after!”

#3. Life changing encounter

“Years ago I took the train home late at night and right as I stepped into the train I saw/heard a girl crying in the seat-section next to me. I sat down but went to gave her a tissue after a while and asked her if she wouldn’t mind me sitting with her.

The minute I sat down she broke down completely and told me why she was crying. In our 24 minutes ride I knew about her situation – she was a foster-kid in her third family and the foster-dad kept hitting her and flirting with her. I called my mum who called child services and when we got to the train-station there was already someone who picked her up.

We stayed in contact for a few years and one day she messaged me that if I wouldn’t have talked to her, she would have killed herself that night.

We lost contact but I hope, she is safe.”

#2. In over your head

“Happened 4 days ago. i was on my scooter at the red light next to a guy on a motorcycle. I was looking at him, he was looking at me. I gave a bit of gas, he did the same. When the light turned green, i gave as much gas as possible and he did as well. Though in his case his motorcycle was far more powerful and he lifted of with his front wheel driving solely on his back one. He laughed, I laughed and drove away.”

#1. Not her date

“I was on a disaster date with another woman a while back. Before the date, she was super late to the bar and I struck up a conversation with the dude sitting next to me. We chatted for like an hour (she was SUPER late).

When she finally did arrive, my duderino at the bar was all ears. She went to the bathroom at one point; he leans over and says “I’m a straight man and I don’t think I’ve ever blundered as hard with a girl as she is with you.” And we proceeded to commiserate for a while till she got back. Even offered to buy my next round.

edit: for those asking, the date itself didn’t really go anywhere.”

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15 People Reveal the Crazy Ways They Almost Died

Have you ever almost died? I’m not sure I have, unless you count the many times someone almost kills you (or the other way around) while you’re both behind the wheel of a car. But these 15 people have some pretty crazy stories…or maybe cautionary tales, depending on your point of view.

#15. The kindness of strangers

“Was walking along not paying attention like an idiot, and stepped out in front of a double-decker bus. The guy behind me grabbed the hood of my sweater and yanked me back, but I was close enough that the bus still smacked into and broke my ‘leading’ foot. If he hadn’t been there, or I wasn’t wearing a hoodie, or I was a bit heavier, that would have been my head.”

#14. Bad luck

“Was in a bad wreck with an 18 wheeler when I was 16. I was on the passenger side in the back seat and the car we were in got crushed when the trailor jack knifed and squished us between the truck and trailer. None of the first responders could believe nobody in our car was killed or even really hurt.

Then in 2015 I was pistol whipped in an armed robbery. It felt like the whole side of my head caved in when he hit me. I actually do have a dent in my skull from it

Edit: Holy wow at the upvotes. Also my phone shit the bed while replying to comments and posted several times but I’m enjoying seeing y’all repeat it so much not even gonna fix it lol.”

#13. Hard to believe

“Got my head stuck in a library book return slot.”

#12. Yay for vaccines

“When I was 5 or 6 I had chickenpox and meningitis which apparently could have gone either way.

Fast forward 10 years and I nearly feel a few hundred feet into a quarry. Because I was a stupid kid, I was sat on the edge when it gave way. I was just lucky that my friend reacted as quick as he did and grabbed me. Needless to say I didn’t get too close to the edge after that.”

#11. Not just a rash

“When I was about 12 years old, I was all ready to go to my Karate lessons with my brother. We were high belt grades so really into the contact side of it. I’d mentioned a rash to my dad, that he dismissed as heat rash. Before leaving I showed it to my mum who had just come in from work.

She thought it was meningitis and rushed me to the hospital after dropping my brother off for his lessons. Turns out it was a super rare blood disorder causing my body to attack the platelets, which are the clotting mechanism in the blood. Essentially, if I’d gone to the Karate lesson instead of talking to my mum, I could have caused some internal bleeding and died.”

#10. Teacher fail

“My maths teacher wouldnt open the window in our very stuffy classroom. This induced a asthma attack and she denied me going to the bathroom because she thought I was faking. 3 hours later I came round from an asthma attack, being told I was hanging by a thread.”

#9. In France

“When I was 8, I very nearly drowned in a swimming pool in France. I was playing on the divider between the deep and shallow areas – which was effectively a row of large boulders – and slipped between two of them, getting my leg firmly stuck (and badly cut up in the process). I was trapped, hanging upside down in the water, and unable to twist my leg at all.

The only sign that anything was happening on the surface was the very tip of my foot sticking out, mostly obscured by the boulders, so there wasn’t a good chance that anyone would spot anything unusual. I remember looking at all these upsidedown legs moving in the water and thinking “This is how I’m going to die. In France.” After what felt like an age, I vaguely remember seeing two big hairy legs move towards me, and next thing I knew I was forcefully yanked out of the water, with blood dripping into my eyes. The guy carried me to the side and made sure I was alright. No idea what would have happened if he hadn’t noticed.”

#8. Cause for concern

“Had a bad cough so I went to the doctor. He gave me a puffer (can’t remember what it was called) and when I went home I fell asleep.

Something woke me up from a dead sleep and when I sat up I started having a hard time breathing. I couldn’t talk at all so I had to write on a pad of paper to tell my boyfriend, now husband, to take me to the hospital.

I wrote down my symptoms for the triage nurse and she asked me if I could l talk I shook my head no but she made me try. I choked out an “ok” and she said I could talk and said I could go home since I’m just sick or I could wait.

I waited 4 hours in the waiting room and couldn’t get a great breath unless I was sipping water. It was getting frustrating watching people go in before me. I know a lot of them had good reason to be there but with how few people were actually there is was evident she kept me as the lowest priority.

When I finally went in I was feeling like death and even the few tests they did were like torture. The nurses and doctors in the actual ER were very nice and gentle but it still was awful at that point.

A short time after they were done the tests the doctor came in and said I was septic and I should have come in earlier. Any longer and my organs would have shut down and I would have died.

My boyfriend told him I had been in the waiting room for 4 hours and the doctor was pissed. I don’t know what happened to the triage lady but I hope she got in some kind of trouble. I know they have to deal with a lot but her bad day could have been a worse day for me and my family.

I was put on an antibiotic pump for a week but it took a couple weeks to feel like myself. The doctor said I could have easily stayed asleep and died at home so it was good I woke up.”

#7. All things considered

“I’m a paratrooper in the 82nd airborne division and had the (now rare) misfortune of suffering a static line injury. Essentially the cable that opens my chute is attached the top of my chute and the inside of the plane. Through bad luck i ended up with too much slack and it wrapped my arm. I bounced off of the outside of the plane and my parachute was too twisted to open properly. I ended up with a torn bicep and shattered shoulder blade. All things considered my injuries should’ve been way worse and i’m lucky to be alive.”

#6. A friend, indeed

“I was crossing the street once and there were large bushes at the corner of the sidewalk. A car took the turn incredibly fast, but my tall friend saw it a bit early and pulled me back. The car was an inch or two away from me.”

#5. Wear your helmet

“I was on my motorcycle as a six-car accident happened AROUND ME. I came around a curve on the interstate as one car hit the concert barrier and spun out into four lanes of traffic. Cars were spinning and rolling around me, and I was barely even dodging, it was like they were dodging me. I pulled off and as I was coming to a stop a semi came sliding sideways through the whole mess. I hit the throttle again and it smashed into the guardrail a meter or two behind me. It was like seriously like a car chase action movie, except it was all luck and not skill. The throttle punch at the end was the only thing that was on purpose.

Edit: just feel compelled to say wear your helmet and gear! Don’t be like this girl and wait for something like this to happen before you get religious about it.”

#4. A lucky break

“I had an accident while moving a big antique mirror by myself at home. It broke and half of it fell onto my neck. It severed my jugular vein and I came within a few minutes of bleeding to death. The paramedic who saved me said I lost about 2 litres of blood (a little over 4 pints) and I was extremely lucky to survive. Here is a picture of my stitches.”

#3. Childhood trauma

“I as born somewhat premature and my small intestine hadn’t fully hollowed out so I had to be airlifted to another hospital and have that section cut out. Still have a huge scar on my stomach from that.

Then in second grade I got chicken pox and ended up having viral encephalitis as a complication. One thing I remember was a woman visiting me in the hospital and I asked her name, and it was the same as my mom’s name so I told her that. Turns out it was my mom and I just didn’t recognize her at the time. I spent two weeks in the hospital with that.”

#2. Never fight the ocean

“The ocean vs me at 12.

Me and my sister loved doing this thing, were we would let ourselves get hit by large waves. The feeling of getting pulled in and slammed down as a kid was exhilarating. Well, one day, the ocean was unusually rough. The waves were gigantic and there were rip tides. My dad told us we can’t go in the ocean. But the waves were so huge, we had to give hit a try.

We snuck off. Sat in front of our impending doom. This 8-10 foot wave starts coming in. Takes all the water with it. When it began to crest, I got the “oh shit this is going to hurt” feeling but at this point it was too far to go back. It comes in picks me and my sister, slams me face first on the beach. Scratches the fuck out of my face and arms on the beach shells.

Most waves when they crash, there is very little water left on the beach. Yet, this one was so huge, it left a ton. enough that we were both strong swimmers, but the current still could pull us back into the next one. It did this 2-3 times. Until we were both either concussed or tired enough that we couldn’t fight back. The last one pulled us deep in the ocean.

We tried to swim toward the beach, but to no avail, we kept going further and further. But an old man, probably in his 60s spotted us. He swam up to us. But he only grabbed my sister. Begun to trek back to the beach.

So, I’m there. 12. Probably concussed, bleeding, very tried, just looking at the shore line, it gets so far, I can barely see the shoreline. Alone, am like okay, lol, fuck this is how I die.

Remember pondering my death, but I was too tired to do anything but just stay afloat.

After what seemed like an eternity, the old man swims back and finds me. Takes me to shore. Besides the ass beating, I got from my dad. I also was traumatized by the ocean. I probably didn’t go back in it for like 4 years. Even today, I’ll go. But its just uneasy feelings and definitely not going deeper than I can stand.”

#1. Thank goodness for modern medicine

“First two times I was rushed to the ER anaphylactic shock. I swear if my mom wasn’t beside the hospital bed crying the 1st time I would have let go.

Third time I was on a plane landing at the airport, but clearly flies around it a couple times. The captain comes on the speakers and informed us the wheels may not be locked/deployed. The landing way was lined all sorts of fire/EMS trucks. No problem with the landing, everyone cheered when we touched down. The captain said it was probably just a burnt out light.

I started having seizures in my late 20s, resulting in permanent partial blindness. I kind of brushed off the danger of seizures until I had one for more than a half hour. The neurologist explained that it’s really bad for your brain and I was lucky to still not be a brain dead vegetable, let alone alive.”

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15 People Confess What Television and Movie Inaccuracies Drive Them Absolutely Nuts

There are some inconsistencies or inaccuracies that can be forgiven, forgotten, or just plain glossed over. But when you’re watching something that falls within your area of expertise (or area of interest/obsession) mistakes can be hard to let go.

Fair warning: you may never be able to watch movies or television shows in the same, blissfully ignorant way again!

#15. Nails on a chalkboard

“Over and out”. As a former signal guy in the army this is like nails on a chalkboard. Especially when it’s said by a military or law enforcement person who should know better. “Over” means you’re expecting a response. “Out” means the conversation is done. “Over and out” literally means “talk to me and shut up”.”

#14. Order in the court

“That’s not at all how court cases work. If you yell at a witness, you’ll be thrown out.”

#13. History matters

“Perfect bright white teeth and immaculate makeup in ancient/old times.”

#12. A little too quick

“Actors looking at pixelated mess on screen that resembles Super Mario from NES. “Can you clean this image up?”

Nerdy, tattooed chick: “Sure”

click, zoom, click, zoom, zoom

Now it’s HD quality and you can read the serial number on the gun he’s using.

“Can you trace the buyer of that gun.”

click, click, scroll, click

“Done. It’s James Smith. click, click. I’ve triangulated his position and he’s three blocks away on 1st and 23rd, drinking a mocha latte. click, click His wife works for the KGB.”

“Let’s move!”

wut?”

#11. Anybody can do it

“Oh, the [thing] is protected! I need to hack into the mainframe.”

Five seconds later:

“Ok, I’m in!”

#10. Geography matters

“This is probably true of most major cities in movies, but Washington, DC, is the one I see most often. OK, we’re driving and there’s the Capitol! Now we’re passing the Lincoln Memorial! Now we’re in front of the White House! Where the fuck are you going???”

#9. What a cut-up

“Busting through glass with either no cuts or very minor cuts.”

#8. Genetic anomalies

“In the film Tiptoes, the entire conflict of the film develops from Kate Beckinsale finding out that the family of her fiance, Mathew McConaughey, are all dwarfs. But she’s pregnant with his child! Oh no! It might be a dwarf!

Except dwarfism is an autosomal dominant trait. If Matthew McConaughey isn’t a dwarf, and he clearly isn’t, there ain’t a lick of dwarfism in his alleles, masked or otherwise, and any baby of his has as much of a chance of being a dwarf as any other person’s child. Fuckin’ idiots.”

#7. Shenanigans

“Makeup. You just finished swimming for your life, sweating after running through a desert, or crying your eyes out? I’m sorry, but your mascara and eyeliner should be running down your face and/or giving you raccoon eyes, ma’am. You’re living in the middle of a dystopian apocalypse, but you still have time for and access to lipstick, blush, and mascara? I call shenanigans!”

#6. Sit down and eat your breakfast

“Mom cooks a full eggs-bacon-toast-sausage-pancakes-OJ-coffee breakfast on a weekday

Kid sits down for breakfast, serves himself/herself a heaping plate of everything

Conversation lasts 30 seconds, kid eats 2 bites of toast

Kid gets up and leaves for school, leaving a full plate of breakfast behind

If that had happened at my household, I would have gotten a chancleta to the face in record time.”

#5. Accurate medical use not required

“General defibrillator usage.”

#4. A not-so-deadly predator

“Using a red tailed hawk cry for every noise that every bird makes. It’s seriously like the Wilhelm scream of birds, only worse. A duck will fly by in the background and you’ll hear the screech of a deadly predator.”

#3. Someone’s getting fired

“When something changes from camera angle to camera angle. For example, when someone’s hair is on their shoulder when you look at them and then the camera flips to the other person in the conversation and then when it flips back to the other person their hair is off their shoulder. I always pick up on it and it drives me crazy!”

#2. Permanent car wash

“When filming through a car windscreen you never see the dusty bits round the edge of the screen where the wipers don’t reach. Every car on the road has dusty bits round the edge of the screen, unless it’s just been washed ten minutes earlier.”

#1. Unrealistic expectations

“People that make minimum wage owning large apartments in NYC. That and how ex’s will come back if you try really hard.”

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12 House Cleaners Dish on What You Should Be Cleaning but Probably Aren’t

Here are the 12 things cleaning professionals wish people would realize need to be cleaned – are you guilty?

#12. Go eye-level with your toddler

“If you have toddlers/short children – the entire inside perimeter of your house at the 2.5ft mark has a layer of snot encrusted dirt that’s built up over the years that you are most likely blind to by now.”

#11. Don’t forget the wash

“When I did housekeeping during college, I noticed that many people neglect to take down their shower curtains periodically for washing.

That’s the accumulation of body oils, fluids, etc that has splashed off your body. You can disinfect and make a bathroom sparkle, however, the stench off the ripe curtain…ick.”

#10. Head allergies off at the pass

“Their fans. Mfs be having the DUSTIEST ceiling fans in the world. How do y’all sleep with those things spinning? It’s like snow.”

#9. Remember to look up

“Coming from someone who is taller than average I’d like to mention that many people only clean to their eye level.”

#8. Take a whiff

“Clean the things you use to clean other things.

Replace your kitchen sponge at least twice a month. Wash your towels weekly. Leave the door to your washing machine open after each cycle so it doesn’t mildew. You get the idea. If these things aren’t clean, it can manifest in big ways. Ever met one of those people who has a faint musty/sour smell even after showering? Chances are they’ve been using the same nasty bath towel for weeks/months and don’t notice the smell from it anymore.”

#7. Never have I ever

“The dish drying rack. I’ve never seen anyone with one that wasn’t fucking horrific looking.”

#6. Wear gloves

“I learned about this when I was being trained to clean professionally…

You really need to take the toilet seat completely off every now and again – every 6 months minimum to clean the sludge that accumulates around the screws and fittings.

It’s really gross. Wear gloves.”

#5. The more you use them…

“People who are busy but wonder how it looks different when I do it, the finishing touches they miss are polishing or wiping down their kitchen bin, kettles and other shiny things on their counters. One job I struggle with is removing hair from a plug hole and as I rule, I don’t do it because i’ll spend the day heaving. People forget to clean their taps, door handles and light switches, yet they are probably the most used item.”

#4. Heavy-duty

“Honestly? Even in the wealthiest of homes the bathrooms were an absolute nightmare. Grime so thick on the walls you could make an entire bar of soap out of it. Hard water stains were even harder. We had this fancy pumice stone that we’d use to scrub majority of it away. A lot of us would use toilet bowl cleaner on the entire bathroom. It had some really strong compounds that would just cut right through that stuff.”

#3. I wish those things were self-cleaning

“I cleaned houses in college…clean your microwaves people.
Baseboards and windows are less disgusting, but more often neglected.”

#2. Fire hazard

“The fan heaters. I unplug mine and use a skinny crochet hook to yank the hair and dust out of ours.

I have seen one catch fire. Clean them, it’s important.”

#1. Buildup

“Not a pro, but worked housekeeping at a hotel for a bit. Wash your walls. You don’t have to go all out, just if you see scuffs wipe them off. Even if you’re not smoking inside or anything, so much grime builds up on walls.”

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These 12 People Confess an Explosive Secret They Will Never Reveal

Secrets have a funny way of coming out, but for these 12 people, they say they would never bring themselves to tell the truth – not even to the person who the secret was about!

#12. Proper ladies

“When my mom was a teenager, my grandma slapped her over something stupid. My mom then slammed my grandmas head into a mirror, and they basically got into a fistfight. They both look at themselves (and each other) as very “proper” ladies, and would be horrified if they found out I knew.”

#11. Bro code

“Grandfather loves his PC, browsing the internet, reading bible posts, news, etc.
A wise man at times and someone who I have a lot of respect for and enjoy his company, but I’ll be damned if every virus he’s gotten is something pornography related. Just rolling through the history though, its all pinup style images of actresses/celebrities. Classy stuff honestly. I just always clean up the computer viruses and delete his history.”

#10. No good deed

“I found out that my grandpa was paying the mortgage on my aunt’s house for about 4 years, up until she passed away. My cousins don’t know that he was paying for them to live there rent free, and they didn’t treat him very well. It’s not really something worth telling them about, but they’re incredibly entitled and rotten people.”

#9. The mild-mannered maid

“My brother has used the same cleaning lady for the past 15 years. She insisted that she was an Austrian expat, but about 10 years ago she was invited to our family’s 4th of July party. She’s around mine and his age and stuck around to drink a bit with us after “the adults” had left. She confessed to me when she was drunk on schnapps that she’d actually been born in East Germany, her dad was in the Stasi, and her mother ran him over with the family Trabant. With the uproar in the family there and the political situation she moved here when she was about 10 or 11 with some family already in the States. Totally surreal to hear from a mild mannered European maid. I am not sure if she remembers telling me that but it’s been a decade and I haven’t said anything to anyone.”

#8. Different dads

“One of my friends has 2 brothers, one younger, one older. His older brother is from a man his mother cheated on his father with. His dad stuck around through it and raised him as his own even though he knew. My friend has no idea. I would never tell him. His mom and my mom were best friends, we used to hang out practically since birth.”

#7. Parent traps

“I know several of my friends are the results of affairs.

Growing up as an only child. Often playing alone whilst adults talk. They forget you are there. Seriously, I know more than I should about even my own parents.”

#6. All in the family

“When my mother passed away (I was 15) I was given a book of her poetry she had written for my father when they were married. All of the poems had little extra notes at the front of them explaining what the poem was about.

One poem was about my dad, my mom, and his first wife all having sexy times in a tent while camping. There were a few more poems about their times together. My dad left his first wife at some point after these encounters and married my mom shortly after.

I never told my dad, and he passed away long ago now. His first wife I see regularly at family holidays since her son’s are my half brothers. I’ve never told her either.”

#5. Scat

“My first boyfriend in high school apparently had a scat fetish, but he never asked me to help him satisfy it or mentioned anything to me about it. One morning when I had slept over his house the night before, I woke up before him and went to go use my laptop, but it was dead and I had forgotten to bring my charger, so I went on his computer instead for a little bit. I was looking through some pictures of us that he had in a folder on the computer, and then I randomly clicked on a folder that was just named “fs” (no idea what that name was supposed to mean). In this folder were several video files with names that made it clear that they were scat porn. I didn’t watch any of them and never told him I had found them, and like I said, he never mentioned his fetish to me either.”

#4. Pokemon love

“I once borrowed my older cousin’s laptop, when I was maybe 13 or so. Opened it up and BAM Pokemon porn. Pokemon porn everywhere… and lots and lots of hentai.

I never told him I saw it. However, he’s always dated somewhat bigger girls and everytime I see him with his gf I can’t help thinking he’s dating her partially because she’s got hentai boobs.”

#3. The awful truth

“My dad is the result of rape.

The story we were always told was that my grandfather’s buddy knocked up his teenage sweetheart when they were stationed in Germany when he had a wife back home, so my grandparents decided to adopt him.

When I moved to Europe I decided to go looking for my dad’s family. I found them pretty easily, but my bio grandmother didn’t want anything to do with me. My two uncles wanted to meet me though, and were very pleased to do so.

While talking to my uncle when we were out drinking I mentioned understanding why his mother might not want to meet the child of her teenage mistake but still being bummed out about it. He demanded I explain the what I had been told about his mother. He was completely floored that it had been framed as her mistake at sixteen, and that’s when he told me the truth: My grandfather had raped her when she was twelve and she had given birth to my father at thirteen. He was drunk and an Army MP when it happened, and then coerced her into giving up the baby to him and his wife. Nothing was ever done about the rape.

I was completely horrified, especially as someone who had been sexually assaulted as a child. He wasn’t a warm and cuddly granddad type, but I would’ve never suspected he could’ve done that to a child. My father wasn’t father of the year by any means, but I don’t know how he would deal with it, so I don’t intend to ever tell him.”

#2. Guilt trip

“My mom had a really, really big issue with me being a lesbian. It was the worst when I was a teen and she’s totally over it now (thank goodness), but it was rough.

I remember sitting with her in the kitchen one day and she’s screaming at me over it, which was pretty rare for her. She goes on and on about how she loves her friends “but I would never want to sleep with them!” And I was like, “Yeah, because you’re straight…?” And she got very flustered and continued on her tirade, basically centered around me acting on my attraction, not having my attraction.

Well, I was discussing this nearly a decade later with my dad and he goes, “I mean that kind of makes sense, considering what happened with Sarah when they were in school.” Cue tires screeching in my brain. Sarah was killed in a car accident the summer before my mom’s senior year of college. They were going to be sharing a room in a suite with two other girls, were best friends, etc.

My dad said you would have thought she’d been widowed. She even forewent living with my dad to live with Sarah and he had had suspicions that something was going on with them, but mostly stayed out of it.

So I questioned him further and he confirmed my suspicions (which I’d had since I was young and totally confused about my mom’s over-the-top reaction to me being gay): she definitely had a crush on her friend Sarah and her dying left a scar on my mom that basically made her think that her feelings were wrong/responsible for the death/bad luck/I don’t know what. Not to mention, it was probably completely unresolved and so she was just left to wonder about what could have been.”

#1. A secret collection

“I was at a friend’s house and I needed a towel. Found a drawer where she was storing a bunch of different dildos. I’d never seen so many, so much variety. There were like 20.

She never talked about sex, and had never had a partner. It has been 15 years, we’re still friends. I’ve never brought it up and never will unless she tells me she collects dildos.”

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12 People Reveal the Strangest Paranormal Experience They’ve Ever Had

Some people believe in ghosts. Others claim they couldn’t possibly exist. And some don’t really seem to know what to think.

No matter where you fall on the scale of skepticism, there’s no doubt these 12 people’s stories will give you something to think about while you’re trying to fall asleep tonight.

#12. Close encounters

“My husband, parents and I were camping in the Missouri Ozarks. It was fall, around 10:30 at night and we were sitting around the campfire. A white ball of light ~ basketball sized ~ appeared suddenly in the distance off to our right. It traveled extremely fast along the ground through the trees and stopped in my husbands lap. It moved across him, me, my mom and dad over about 10 seconds before it sped off to our left over the horizon and was gone. There was no sound, no airplane noise, or cars around. We were by ourselves on about 200 acres of forest. My dad walked a ways in the direction it went but said he couldn’t see anything. Years later, I’m still scratching my head over what it was.”

#11. Still can’t explain it

“I may as well comment but unsure whether it’s paranormal.

Was about 13 years old, common for my mom to leave and spend the night at her friends house after a night out (split parents) and this was one of those night. She left, locked doors, put sister to bed (she was about 8-9) and proceeded to stay up until I fell asleep around 11 or 12.

Woke up to banging coming from the shed outside. From my bedroom window I can see out the back and peeked through the blinds. I assumed the sound was my golden retriever digging by the shed or something, but I peeked out and could see the dog standing still, staring towards the shed. Now this made me scared because I couldn’t see the shed from my window. I texted Mum to see if she had come home to no reply. Eventually I muster up the courage to get out of bed and look out the living room window at the shed (which had stopped banging). I was less nervous now because I assumed it was a possum that had got stuck in the shed through the window but had since got out. The weird part is when I ventured to the front of the house, where the front door was wide open along with the front windows and living room light was on. I know for a fact I had turned the lights off and locked the door. I then proceed to grab a knife and check on my sister while turning every light on in the house while searching for an intruder. Was scared shitless.

Can’t explain to this day.”

#10. Help from grandma

“My grandmother died when I was in Kindergarten but when I was little I remembered she would put wet washcloths on my cousins foreheads when they were teenagers and wouldn’t get out of bed. We used to all get a laugh out of it. One time in college I had an exam at 7:00 am and I am notorious for sleeping late on accident. Anyway the morning of my exam my alarm didn’t go off but I feel a really cold wet feeling on my forehead, like a wash cloth. It immediately woke me up and I saw my grandmother standing over me telling me I needed to get up and out of bed. I looked at my alarm and it was *6:45. I still made it to the exam.”

#9. Family visits

“I was 4 or 5 and had a dream about this guy with a hole in his throat in my bedroom. He told me not to be scared and I told him I wasn’t. He said he just wanted to ask questions about the family, how everyone was doing and I told him, then I woke up.

I told my grandmother about the dream and she turned white. Got out a photo album. I saw his picture and went “That’s him! But why did he have a hole in his throat?”

It was my great grandfather who died two years before I was born. He had had a tracheotomy due to throat cancer.”

#8. Sliding doors

“I was home alone. Around the age of 16 and I had a dog. She is super super calm and only barked when something scared her. She was upstairs barking like crazy. Naturally I got scared. So I got out of the washroom, left the light on and the door open, walked up stairs to my dog and saw she was barking at nothing. Still a little spooked I grabbed a metal base ball bat that I had in my room. After grabbing it I go back to my dog and she just stares at me. Very intensely and quickly she looks at the stairs. When she does that I hear very loud footsteps from the floor below. I slowly and quietly make my way down the stairs but I pause about half way down. While walking I immediately noticed the bathroom door, that I left open, was closed.

The light was also off. Because of the style of door knob, I could also tell that the door was locked. This door also could be unlocked of a key incase of emergency (elderly grandparents used to live with us). I grabbed the key and unlocked the door. Nobody. Not a surprise though. Almost immediately after opening the door I hear very loud and aggressive footsteps now coming from upstairs. I decide to go back upstairs to the room my dog was in (my sisters room) and check on her. When I get back up there I decide its probably the best time to nope the fuck out of there. But I didn’t. The room that my dog is in has the lights on door closed and door locked. Good thing I know how to pick locks because we lost the key to that room years ago. So yea there was no one in there but fuck some ghost fucking locked some doors in my house.”

#7. Sleeping issues

“As a kid I always had trouble sleeping. Even in kindergarten I would never nap during the day, and the teachers would separate me from the other kids during nap time, as I kept them awake.

Even in the middle of the night, I would wake up, and I just couldn’t go back to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. As I started to grow older, I just accepted it, so I just would end up watching TV until the rest of the house woke up.

Around 1st or 2nd grade, I remember I woke up one night and my mom was just sitting on the floor beside my bed, resting her back on my nightstand. I remember asking her why she was there, and she told me that she was keeping an eye on me cause I was sick, and then told me to go back to sleep. So I went back to sleep.

This went on for about a week, until one day I decided to question her about it. She said that she had no idea about what I was talking about, and that she never stood by my bed all this time.

That night, I woke up again, sure enough, my “mom” was there comforting me and telling me to go back to sleep. I told her that she wasn’t real, but she kept insisting that she was. So I just tried to touch her, and that’s when she disappeared.

She started to appear less and less, and she would go away when I tried to touch her. After a while, it got to a point that when I woke up in the middle of the night, I would just swat the air near my nightstand and then go back to sleep without even opening my eyes. And then “she” went away and never appeared again.

I think about it often and I have no explanation for this. It definitely sounds like something that would happen to a schizophrenic, but I am a fully functioning adult, with no mental health issues with a steady income, and currently working on getting my masters degree.

I have not gotten any sort of hallucinations ever since this incident, but I still have trouble sleeping. I never sleep during the day, as it disorients me, and when it becomes nighttime, I basically don’t lay down until I am so tired that I just pass out as soon as my head touches the pillow.”

 #6. Hard to keep the help

“Geez, where to start…

I lived in a three bedroom apartment with some roommates while I was stationed in Gaeta, Italy (Navy). There was a poltergeist that haunted all three floors that we named “Calvin”. Calvin liked to take things only to return them later, rattle dishes, throw people off of the couch, etc. One day I came home after standing the 4 AM to 8 AM watch and I was really tired. Calvin had been quiet for a while, but that day decided to start rattling plates in the kitchen just as I was starting to doze off. I just ignored him and tried to go to sleep and would have if he hadn’t walked across the bed -I could feel the mattress indent as he moved.

One day a friend was over at the apartment cleaning it while we were out to sea. She was washing the windows and had left the living room to get some clean water. When she came back it looked like someone had breathed on the glass to fog it over and the word “Calvin” was written on the fog. Needless to say she didn’t come back to the apartment.”

#5. Let me in

“My parents lived in a old house to awaken to a knocking on the window, when my dad pulled the curtain aside there was a thing. He was asking my dad to let him inside. He describes the thing as a human form but no facial features.

To top it off they had a friend staying with them later, the same thing was knocking and scratching on his window pleading to be let in.

Needless to say he wasnt let in. They left soon after that.”

#4. Scary Santa

“I was once at my grandmother’s for Christmas when I was about 11 or so. It was Christmas eve and I was sharing a room with my father, him being fast asleep and snoring on the bed opposite me. Throughout that age I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep, I was always a massive insomniac, and with my dad snoring away was basically just being kept wide awake.

At some point, long after everyone in the house had fallen asleep, while I was still wide awake, I was jolted into the most intense state of fear I think I have ever experienced.

From the three foot space behind me that separated my bed from the door, I shit you not, the most intensely gravelly and hoarse voice I’ve ever heard fucking announced to the room; “I’m Santa.”

It scraped through me and I just fucking froze. There was no transition between the before, during or after it spoke, as there would be from “waking up”, so I am still convinced that I had not somehow fallen asleep. I literally just lay there in complete terror, facing my dad as he continued to snore and refusing to turn around. I lay like that for ages, sweating buckets upon buckets into my bed sheets, and I guess eventually passed out. Woke up Christmas morning afraid and terrified, with a very clear memory of it all.”

#3. It even scared the dog

“A voice spooked the fuck out of me when I was 17.

Backstory, I was in what Americans would call high-school I guess (Finland, different system) in another town. I’d come home to my parents for the summers.

So, being 17 and having older friends, they were usually out at bars with my older brother so I couldn’t really join. But it was all good, my brother had a killer pc at the time and I just loved Borderlands. So, I spent the nights playing that, accompanied only by my dog who would sleep calmly on my bed behind me.

So, headset on, I was playing NG+ and was ready to go to Sledge as I feel a breath in my neck and hear a very audible whisper saying “What do you want?”

I freeze, afraid to turn. I gather my courage and take the headphones off and turn sharply ready to react to anyone who might be behind me.

But all I see is my dog, shivering and trembling, looking scared af with his tail between his legs. No bark, nothing, which was odd since he is a Jack Russell.

Still don’t know what it was. But it did fuck me up for a while.”

#2. Every theatre has its ghosts

“I work in this old ass theatre that was built as a vaudeville house in about 1900. I don’t even believe in ghosts but this damn place is haunted. Every theatre has its ghost, I know; I think they come free with the rigging setup. But those are out of tradition, and something to blame for whatever you misplaced. This place is different tho. Some parts were built on later, and those parts aren’t as bad. Nothing weird goes on in the scene shop or the offices. But the equipment stored under the stage moves, you always feel watched in the lighting booth, and once the fucker turned the light off on me when I was minding my own business in the bathroom of an original dressing room. I watched the switch flip. That little shit.

Edit: yes, I still don’t really believe in ghosts. But that almost did it.”

#1. This old house

“My house is old and constantly has weird things happen in it. One night my ex and I were fast asleep when someone or something banged on our bedroom door. I know it really happened because we both woke up. I quickly grabbed my gun out of my nightstand and flung the door open within like 5 seconds of this happening and no one was there. I ran throughout the entire house with my chest pounding fully expecting to find an intruder. All I found was my dogs asleep on the kitchen floor. They bark at everything and are very good guard dogs meaning that they heard nothing. I still cannot explain how this happened.”

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