Category: AITA

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A Man Asked if He’s Wrong To Keep His Terminal Diagnosis From His Wife

When I read that a man wants to keep the fact that he’s dying from his wife, I get a little judgy. You’re supposed to be each other’s person, their till-death-do-us-part, and to keep something that will ultimately affect you both a secret, well…that can’t be right.

Can it?

As with many Am I the A$shole posts, though, there’s always a bit more than meets the eye -and it should come as no surprise that dying can be intensely personal and varies from person to person.

The husband in question gives us a little background up front. A medical condition means he never expected to live a long life, but he says that a recent “complication” took his time from 20 or 30 years down to 1.

Male, 31 here. For the past 15 years, I’ve been dealing with a medical condition that requires constant medication and consistent doctor’s visits. I had always been projected to live until 50-60ish, however, a recent complication has cut that down to 12 months, 16 at best. In about 10 months, my condition should start getting a lot worse. After 12 months, I’ll essentially be living in the hospital.

He’s married and doesn’t know how to tell his wife, and all of this has (understandably) made him rethink his short future.

I am married of 4 years (no kids). I haven’t had the heart to tell my wife the news. I don’t even know how. We always knew I’d die younger than I wanted to, but we never expected it to be this soon.

As much as I know I should tell my wife, I don’t want my last year to be plagued with an impending doom.

My wife and I have always talked about living abroad somewhere, maybe Australia, but we’ve never found the time or money to do so. I’ve been saving up to go to graduate school, however, I don’t see much point in that now.

He wants to enjoy the time he has left, and to give his wife a nice time, a good memory, of this final year of his life, but wonders if he’s wrong to keep something this huge from her until their time is almost gone.

So here’s my idea: take some of that money, and take my wife to Australia for a few months, and enjoy the time together. I have a job I can work remotely from anywhere, and she has a job that she can easily find work anywhere. We can work part-time, and enjoy our time together. When we get back, or maybe towards the end of it, I will break the news to her. I just wouldn’t want the trip to be ruined for us by constant reminders of me dying. I know my wife, and she’s very emotional – to the point where I feel like she will be crying everyday and not enjoying herself. I want this memory to be a good one for her, and not plagued by my time ticking down.

As a note, he wants us to know he’s not a jerk – his wife will be taken care of in every way he can imagine after he’s gone. He just wants to live these last months on his own terms.

AITA for putting off telling her I am dying?

Note: I have life insurance that will take care of her, so I am not too worried about spending this money now on this trip. And I plan on talking to her about a sperm bank, just in case she decides she wants my kids in the future, as well as premised birthday cards and other things for her to have.

The people of Reddit were ready and waiting to weigh in, and as usual, they held nothing back.

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This person was a bit kinder, saying he doesn’t suck, but also saying that from personal experience, they think she deserves to know.

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Others pointed out that she’s going to need time to process, too, and he’s taking that away from her.

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And this very good point, which is that he might think he knows how she would choose to spend their last year together, but he doesn’t actually know unless he asks – and he never will.

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This excellent thought from a soft-hearted person says that OP is going to need his partner, that this isn’t something he should go through alone.

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I agree that this is just a sad situation all the way around, and I hope that he decides to tell her so they can do this together.

That said, he’s going through something most of us will thankfully never have to face, and so maybe he deserves some time and grace, too.

What are your thoughts? Drop them on us in the comments!

The post A Man Asked if He’s Wrong To Keep His Terminal Diagnosis From His Wife appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Guy Got Angry That His Girlfriend “Doesn’t Work Hard” for Her Higher Salary. People Reacted.

Without reading any further, you can probably guess that the “higher salary” part of this headline is what really got OP’s (original poster) panties in a twist.

There seems to be a certain kind of man who just can’t handle the idea of his female partner making more money than he does, regardless of their industries or how hard she works – and in the case of this dude, he’s decided that since, to his mind, she doesn’t work as hard as he does, she really shouldn’t be making so much money.

My girlfriend and I both work in tech, she’s a safety validator for software, working at a consulting firm, and I’m doing network infrastructure support.

When we both worked in different offices I didn’t know much about her day to day life at work.

I knew she made a lot more than me, 120k to my 66k, and she credits a lot of that to job hopping, she’s 25 and has had three full time jobs since college. I’ve been at one place since college.

But since we’ve been working from home, I’ve seen a lot of her daily schedule. And hers versus mine are really different.

Now that they’re working from home, he sees that she gets to sleep in before a meeting, works off and on the rest of the day while also taking care of herself and the house.

I guess that’s offensive.

She gets up at 9:15 to drag herself into the home office for her 9:30-10 daily meeting.

After the meeting she goes and showers and has breakfast from about 10 to 10:45, answering a few slack messages and emails on her phone but mostly just listening to podcasts and eating and doing her morning routine.

Then she works till noon, and takes a lunch break from noon till 1. Then she works from 1 to 4, often having meetings or working on her own stuff. And at 4 will spend an hour or so doing household chores and stuff while keeping an eye on her phone to answer emails.

And outside of 9 to 5 she blocks work related messages from her phone.

Reader, he called her a slacker.

So basically she actually works about 4 and a half hours daily, and does her own thing for about 2 hours, just paying enough attention to reply to emails that come in.

I basically work nonstop 8:30 to 5 or 6 pm, working 8.5 to 9.5 hours a day. I don’t take breaks in the workday to shower or eat breakfast and lunch or do household chores.

And a few weeks ago I got kinda frustrated with her for basically hardly doing anything for her job at all. And that they were overpaying her if she was spending half the day slacking.

She got frustrated and basically told him it was none of his business how many hours she works a day – her bosses are happy with her output and contributions and are the ones paying her salary.

She got frustrated with me and said that they hired her for her knowledge and it wasn’t my place to say what her time was worth, that if her boss and ceo saw the work she produced and chose to pay her what they chose to pay her that it wasn’t my place to undervalue her because i was being jealous.

And that she picked her job instead of one that might pay better because she wanted a good work life balance, she was sick of wasting her life away at work that was a lot more demanding.

He just kept at it, though, because *whines* how could this possibly be FAIR?

I said that she was being a little privileged, not a lot of people can just choose to make six figures and wander off from work for practically half the day, and that all I was saying was that she was working half as hard as a lot of people who earn a lot less.

She got mad at me and said that it’s not up to me to decide what her time is worth

AITA for what I said about my girlfriend’s work ethic?

Is this guy the a$shole?

I think we all know the answer to that, but here are some comments just to make us all feel vindicated.

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Yes! Be happy that your team is making more money and your partner was happy!

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More than one person pointed out that his girlfriend was pretty nice about the whole thing- nicer than she had to be, for sure.

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It’s true that working from home has made people more efficient and not less.

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He should just be living the good life.

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This guy sucks and I hope he either gets his act together or his girlfriend moves on to someone who won’t make her feel badly about all the ways she chooses to live her life – while making excellent money, I might point out.

What are your thoughts? Let’s pile on down in the comments!

The post A Guy Got Angry That His Girlfriend “Doesn’t Work Hard” for Her Higher Salary. People Reacted. appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Child-Free Woman Wants to Know if it Was Wrong to Give to Charity Instead of Her Friend’s Kids

It’s always sort an awkward thing when your friends have kids – whether you have your own or not.

Are they supposed to be friends just because you are? Do you have to act like you like their kids in order to stay friends? Do you exchange gifts on holidays? Send them birthday texts?

There aren’t any clear rules, and it probably depends on the type of friendship you have to begin with, I would think.

This woman makes good money and lives in a large city….

AITA for telling my friend it is not my job to get presents for her kids

I know it sounds bad but hear me out. Part of me feels like I could’ve just sucked it up. back story below.

I (27F) live in a major city. I moved out of my home town when I was 18 for college and upon graduation, got a full time job in said city. I have a great job in wealth management and make great money, this will come in to play later.

Since moving away I visit a few times a year. Kellie and I have been good friends for 6 years and she has a daughter and a son, aged 5 and 3. I love her kids and spoil them to no end. Every time I come up for a visit I am always bringing them presents of stuff I’ve accumulated in the months of my weekly tj maxx trips. I never show up empty handed for these kids and i love them.

Idk how to put this because I feel like a bad person saying this…but as the years go on we just don’t have much in common. I have a long term boyfriend and I’m constantly getting asked “when’s the engagement, you should get engaged soon so you can have kids ASAP”. I’m still young, i like being obligation free, going out, partying (pre covid obviously), I like having intellectually stimulating convos with people. I hope it doesn’t come off as shallow but I’ve just noticed lately I get incredibly bored because the conversations go no where.

Kellie and husband have finance troubles so when we go out I’m always offering to pay for dinner, always paying when we take her kids to activities like amusement parks or zoo’s. Although I’m not around as much in their life because I live out of state, I am ALWAYS insisting that I take them places or do fun things with the kids. They don’t struggle with money because they make minimum wage, they struggle because they don’t budget.

onto event. I went Black Friday shopping with her and was picking up a lot of toys for boys aged 8-15 (unlike her 3 year old son). When she asked what they were for, I explained to her that I “adopted” a family of underprivileged children to get presents for (I knew the toys would be going directly to said children and that it wasn’t some scam)

Especially given covid times I wanted to give back so I opted to shop for the three boys, and told her that since I have no kids of my own to shop for I wanted to spend my extra bonus money on them. She looks me dead in the eyes and goes “what do you mean you don’t have any kids to shop for? You could use it on my kids, you know how much we struggle sometimes and you make so much money”. Let me be perfectly clear; her two children are already spoiled beyond words, not just by me but EVERYONE. these kids have more than children frankly ever need. I’m trying to do the right thing for children who NEED IT, and I told her this much. I exploded and told her everything I said above and she started crying. I immediately felt like shit because she is a good friend and I love her kids, but I obviously already got them a few things and not all of my money needs to go to them.

When it came time for the commenters to weigh in, many people thought the friendship had probably run its course.

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Plenty of people pointed out that OP is doing a nice thing for kids who need it, and anyone who would be annoyed by that should probably re-examine their own priorities.

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Others were quick to remind OP that friendships have to go two ways, and it seems like she’s not getting much, if anything, out of this one anymore.

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OP is, of course, a good person.

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Then there was this well-timed (and true!) rant about society and child-free people.

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It’s not a friend’s job to make up for your own shortcomings re: caring for your children.

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I think OP is probably right to regret how things went down, and maybe some of the things that she said, but she’s not at all a jerk for adopting a family during the holidays instead of spending all of her extra money on her friend’s kids.

Right?

If you have a different opinion here, share it with me in the comments!

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Is Telling the Truth a Good Reason to Ruin Game Night? Check Out This Story…

Game nights are sacred. There’s a social contract, I think, that if you’ve got a good enough group of friends to make game nights happen, on those nights you do your best to get along and not rock the boat, right?

That may be so, but I imagine there are things that are hard to let slide – like what happened on this particular night, when a game night went down in glorious flames.

AITA for ruining game night by telling the truth?

A few nights ago, I hosted a game night for a small group of friends (we had all been quarantining and following the proper guidelines in my county). It was only going to be 5 of us (including me), but one of my friends texted me last minute that she was going to bring a coworker from work (Matt-fake name). Fine with me.

We started playing a card game where you answer questions about yourself; based on the level (Level 1, 2, 3), the question could be extremely surface level (ex. what’s your favorite color?) to something deeper (ex. what characteristic of yourself do you not like about yourself?). Everyone was enjoying themselves, and I was happy with the way things were going.

Cue a question I drew: “What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to go through?”

Some backstory: My sister passed away a few years ago when I was still in high school. I was pulled out of class and flew immediately to her college and watched her die in the ICU. Needless to say, this is probably the hardest thing I’ve been through. 3 of my friends in the group knew about this, the other 2 and Matt did not.

I didn’t want to bring the mood down, so I answered that the hardest thing I’d been through was transitioning going to a college in a different state where I knew no one. We were all ready to move on, but Matt immediately piped up and said, “Wow, if that’s the hardest thing you’ve ever been through, you live an extremely privileged life.”

Everyone got quiet. Now, if he had said it jokingly, I probably would have let it go and moved on. However, the way he said it was in a very condescending and patronizing tone, and I will admit, it rubbed me the wrong way. Instead of letting it go, I said “well, the hardest thing I’ve ever been through is seeing my sister die in the ICU and having to watch her being lowered into her grave when I was 17. I just didn’t want to bring the mood down.”

If things were quiet before, they were dead silent now. Matt mumbled an apology but game night ended shortly after. After my friends all left, my friend who had brought Matt texted me and told me I was a jerk for making Matt look bad, and I could have just let his statement go. I do feel bad about what I said and being the cause of game night ending so soon, but I also feel like I was just making a justified statement.

AITA?

Cue the comments, the top one of which kept it simple but sweet.

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And this one, which agreed and said keeping the peace isn’t the be-all, end-all goal. Or, it shouldn’t be.

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Most people pretty much agreed that Matt was the stranger, and he really should have acted accordingly.

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On the plus side, now they’ve got an inside joke?

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This person pointed out that Matt even had the change to apologize and didn’t, too.

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This one was a bit more borderline for me, but probably just because I’m from the Midwest and was raised to keep the peace.

What do you think? Share your own take down in the comments!

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An Angry Guy Got Revenge by Outing Ex, Wants to Know if He Was Wrong to Do It

This is one of those Am I The A$shole posts that boils your blood after you read the title, but based on experience, those can go one of two ways.

You can either realize that not only were you right, but they’re even worse than the title suggested OR you can realize there’s more to the story and they’re just terrible at writing titles.

You’ll have to come along for the ride to see whether this person, who was rejected after a proposal because their girlfriend had a gay awakening, is truly awful for outing them to their friends.

AITA for outing my ex as gay after she told everyone that I cheated on her?

I know the title sounds absolutely terrible.

My ex and I were together for 5 years. I decided to propose, but she rejected me. The next day, we had a talk. She realized that she was gay, since “I’ve been trying to hard to please myself from men”.

We broke up.

The very next day, I get bombarded with text messages. My friends asked if this was true, and they linked me to a post. It was a Facebook (who uses Facebook) post (exposing me) about me cheating. She said that’s why we broke up. Now I usually am not evil, but this pissed me off. She was destroying my reputation, for god knows why. I simply commented that the real reason that we broke up was because she is gay. People didn’t believe me, until my ex literally screamed at me for outing her. Then a lot of people started to call her out for her lies. I know I’m probably a huge asshole. Though I feel like she deserves it.

But alas, AITA?

No. I did not cheat on her.

Yes. I did have sex with someone the day that we broke up. But it was after.

Predictably, the commenters were very opinionated as they weighed in.

Like this guy, who also agreed she deserved it.

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But then there are the rules about outing people…

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It’s maybe ESH (Everyone Sucks Here), if you squint.

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While some believe he could have been a bit more discreet.

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This person pointed out that cancel culture has removed some of those more tactful options.

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This is a tough one because of the “rules” regarding outing people, but also, I feel like there is probably more to the story since she went straight to Facebook and started telling what he says are lies.

What do you think? Let’s hash it out in the comments!

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A Concerned Parent Wants to Know if He’s Wrong for Refusing to Help His Daughter With Her Family Tree Assignment

Almost every kid who attends public school will, at some point, come home with a family tree assignment. You fill in the blanks, you ask your relatives some questions about where they grew up and what their parents did and maybe for an anecdote or two, and voila!

At least, that’s what I remember.

According to this man, though, his daughter’s assignment turned out to be nothing like he expected.

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There were questions about taxes and other personal financial information.

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It asked for replies about medical histories and potential criminal backgrounds.

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He tried reaching out to the teacher but got no response, and other parents were also concerned.

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One of them finally got hold of the teacher, who explained the assignment was meant to make students more aware of the diversity in their school.

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The intention was fine, he thought, but he still felt odd about sharing such personal information – some of it about extended family members – with the community at large.

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He and about 2/3 of the other parents agreed their kids wouldn’t be taking part, but some committee called them “Karens,” and accused them of sabotaging efforts to be more diverse and inclusive.

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He wants to know if this is a normal thing, and if he was maybe overreacting.

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Short answer? No, people don’t think that at all.

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Some pointed out the nature of kids and the potential for the information to be used to bully and tease.

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Others thought the content was inappropriate for young students, and should be reported to the superintendent, besides.

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There is always a fine line – and this seems to have crossed.

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You know you can’t trust anyone these days.

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I don’t know about y’all, but I’m definitely on the side of OP – some things are just not the school’s business.

Tell me in the comments where you come down on this, and why!

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Was This Retail Employee Wrong to Refuse to Hold A Customer’s Baby?

In the best of times, people have varying degrees of comfort with children that don’t belong to them.

Some people adore kids, and want to hold every single one who will let them, and others want nothing to do with kids or babies, no matter how cute, for valid reasons of their own.

This OP on Reddit’s Am I The A$shole works in retail, and with the current health crisis, is required to follow customers around and disinfect any surfaces they touch.

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A single mother with two young children came in looking for a dryer, and wanted to check out the floor models before making any decisions.

Fine.

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What wasn’t fine was that she kept trying to hand her baby off to the employee while she looked, but the person really didn’t want to hold the kid.

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She demanded to speak with the manager, who agreed with her.

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Both the manager and their co-workers agreed the employee should have just held the baby and been more sympathetic to the woman’s plight.

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The people on Reddit were much more inclined to take the side of the poster, for some very valid reasons.

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Also, there are liability concerns!

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This person suggested that maybe the manager could hold the baby, since he or she was so into it.

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And this mom pointed out that woman had plenty of options that would have been safer and more considerate.

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Bottom line: people’s preferences should be respected.

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I agree with the commenters, and if the salesperson was polite, don’t see the issue.

What about you? Sound off down in the comments!

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Woman Asked if It Was Wrong to Embarrass the Man Who Proposed to Her

Well, this is going to be interesting.

Just the headline alone is enough to make you cringe and give you the shivers.

A woman had a very interesting story to tell and she took to Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole?” page to see if she was wrong for her actions.

Here’s how the whole thing happened.

First the woman gave some background on the situation.

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The woman talked about how her family often brought up marriage when she would visit them in India.

She also talked about how she constantly shot down her family’s ideas about marriage.

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And then she visited again and her family told her they had a surprise for her.

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And you’re really not going to believe what happened next…

It’s mind-blowing to me that this happens in this day and age.

Take a look.

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Wow! That is crazy.

But the woman stood her ground and refused. And she had some choice words for the family members.

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And then she had even more choice words!

She decided to leave the party and fly back home.

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And some people in her life have told her that she was too harsh and rude to everyone involved.

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Even though she believes she did the right thing, it’s obvious from her own words that this woman still has problems with how the whole thing went down.

So she asked if she was wrong for reacting the way she did.

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So, what did the internet think?

GET OUT!

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GET OUT NOW!

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DON’T LOOK BACK!

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What are your thoughts about this situation?

Did she do the right thing or was this way out of line?

Talk to us in the comments. Thanks!

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A Mom Wants to Know if She’s Wrong to Change the Locks to Keep Her Kids’ Grandma Out of the House

This already sounds like a tricky situation.

Whenever there are grandparents and grandkids involved in any situation, there’s bound to be some drama and some hurt feelings some of the time.

But this woman has a unique situation: she wants to know if she was wrong for changing the locks on her house when her ex-husband gave his mom a key to the house…which sounds kind of weird to begin with…

Let’s take a look at how this whole thing unfolded.

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Seems normal enough, the ex-husband would be allowed to have a key to her house for day-to-day stuff.

But then the situation went in a new direction and totally caught her by surprise.

But it seemed to be smoothed over after she had a talk with her unexpected guest.

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But then Grandma struck again a month later.

So the woman decided to put her foot down. The grandma didn’t see eye to eye with the woman, so she decided to take some action.

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That’s right, she changed the locks on her ex-husband the kids’ grandma.

The next time Granda came over to drop the boys off, she got a bit of a rude awakening.

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Ouch. Well, she made a decision and decided to stand by it.

But the ex and Grandma clearly don’t seem to be getting the point.

And the woman clearly has some doubt about whether changing the locks on them was a good idea or not.

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Not surprisingly… people are decidedly on mom’s side.

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Nope nope nope.

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This IS NOT a hotel, ma’am!

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What do you think? Is she the *sshole?

Have you ever done something like this with a friend or a family member?

Tell us your stories in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you. Thanks!

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A Student Wants to Know if He’s Wrong for Bringing a Baby to Class

If you don’t regularly check Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole” forum, you should really check it out.

People post questions on there about things that are happening in their lives and they want to know, as the title implies, they ask Reddit users if they are an a**hole or not.

And this one is from a guy who wanted to know if it was wrong for him to bring a baby to one of his classes.

Let’s take a look at what went down.

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Hey, emergencies happen, right?

And you gotta step up to the plate when family members ask you to do something, especially in a pinch.

So this guy did what he thought was right and went to watch the baby.

But the next day, by the time his online class was about to start, the parents weren’t back yet…so he decided to do the class with the baby on his lap.

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And, to top it off, he had to give a presentation.

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The professor said it was all good so he turned on his camera, his baby cousin slept the whole time, and it went off without a hitch.

But then he got his grade…and a comment from his professor.

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And this guy was pretty confused about the whole thing.

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So what did the internet think?

No, she’s not an a**hole.

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And, honestly, what’s up with that professor?

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Not that bringing a baby to a class is very common… but still… it was SLEEPING.

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So what do you think? Was he okay doing this? Or do you think he should’ve figured something else out?

Please share your thoughts with us in the comments! We love to read what you have to say!

Thanks, fam!

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