Category: AITA

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Is This Woman a Jerk for Not Caring About Dad’s Cancer Diagnosis? Here’s How People Responded.

Family dynamics can be tricky…and they’re all very different.

What one person thinks is normal can seem outrageous to another person and vice versa.

And people definitely develop strong feelings about their relatives based on how they were raised.

This woman shared her personal story on the “Am I the *sshole?” page on Reddit and asked the readers there for advice.

AITA for not caring about my dad’s cancer diagnosis?

“For context, I (30F) am a product of my dad’s infidelity.

He lied to my mom about being single, they dated, he got my mom pregnant, she was given a heads up about dad’s shadiness by one of her coworkers, my mom confronted him, and that was that. My mom took out a restraining order against my dad before I turned 1 because of his constant threatening to take me away, so I never met him and I’ve never been interested in doing so.

Jump forward to 2018 and my mom told me she’d found my dad on Facebook and that they’d started messaging each other. She said he was looking forward to meeting me and that she’d set up a date for us to have dinner without asking if I was even interested in meeting him.

I didn’t feel comfortable being alone with my dad, but to avoid any drama with my mom, who lives with me, I caved and had dinner with him. It went well at first, but then he started bragging about all his money and his perfect daughters. It made me shut down and feel awful about myself. After dinner, he complained to my mom that I was unresponsive and didn’t seem excited to meet him.

Knowing my mom and her tendency to side with everyone else but her kids, I was given the silent treatment until I apologized. Apparently, I ruined his dream of meeting me by not welcoming him into my life with open arms. It’s now 2021 and in the short time we’ve known each other, my dad has managed to make me feel like sh*t many times.

The last straw was when he tried to guilt me for not contacting him everyday when I’d explained that I sometimes go through low periods where I retreat and have very little contact with anyone. (I know there’s a name for it, but I’ve never been properly diagnosed because I was ridiculed at a young age by my mom for feeling depressed when I had no real problems.)

My dad refused to understand that it’s for the sake of my mental health and said I just don’t want to build a relationship with him. I cut contact with him after that because I don’t feel like I owe him anything and I was tired of all his snide remarks about me. I was fine before we met and I certainly didn’t need one more person in my life to please. I was done.

A few days ago, my mom came to me crying about how my dad had just been diagnosed with cancer. Obviously, I feel bad for him because no one deserves that disease. But my mom now thinks I’m a monster for not crumbling to my knees in sorrow at the thought of possibly losing my dad.

She’s grown very close to him again over the past couple years, so she thinks he’s this great person that was only trying to get close to his long-lost daughter, but she doesn’t know how manipulative he was trying to be with me.

My mom isn’t speaking to me anymore and probably won’t until I contact my dad. I don’t want to invite him back in though. I’m sorry he’s going through this difficult time, but that’s about it. Am I an *sshole for not caring the way I’m “supposed” to?”

Let’s see how folks on Reddit responded.

This person said that the woman is not an *sshole and that she might want to consider cutting off ties with both of her parents.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user made it pretty clear: both of this woman’s parents really SUCK.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This individual agreed that the woman’s mother is also a manipulative person. And the dad just seems downright selfish.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person said that the woman might want to consider building her own support circle outside of her family and that this really does seem like a nightmare situation.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, this reader argued that just because this is her biological father, it doesn’t mean the woman owes him anything.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think about how this woman is reacting to her father’s cancer diagnosis?

Talk to us in the comments and let us know.

Thanks in advance!

The post Is This Woman a Jerk for Not Caring About Dad’s Cancer Diagnosis? Here’s How People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Should This Person Have Accepted an Apology From the Mother of Childhood Bully?

For many years, the subject of bullying was treated like a joke. Something to be survived, something to prove you’d earned your stripes as a kid, or something.

These days students, parents, and educators take it all more seriously, realizing that the scars obtained in childhood, at the hands of mean kids (and sometimes adults) can last a lifetime.

It’s easy to understand, then, why someone who endured h*ll as a kid would want nothing to do with their bully, their family, or anything else that might remind them of that time in their lives.

In this case, the bullying was so severe that OP (original poster) had to change schools in order to escape it.

I (22F) grew up with a guy who had severely bullied me during my elementary & middle school years and it did not stop until I had changed to a different high school (yes, my previous schools somehow managed to do absolutely nothing about the situation despite claiming that they would “look into it.”)

Recently, they ran into the boy’s mother, who tried to apologize for his behavior as a child.

OP didn’t want to hear it.

Recently, I ran into this guy’s mother in public (I still live in the same town) and she said she wanted to personally apologize for what her son did. However, I told her that I refused to accept her apology and that it wasn’t my fault that she had epically failed as a parent.

To OP it just sounded like a bunch of excuses, and no one still wanting to take responsibility for what had happened to them as a result.

I responded like this because during her apology she kept bringing up the fact that her son had family issues at home and was undergoing a lot of stress. However, to me it just sounded like she was trying to excuse her son’s behavior towards me as if it was acceptable for her son to unleash his frustrations onto me and to torment me for years.

Another big reason for why I said what I said to her is because both my family and I had complained about her son’s behavior directly to her as well as through the school. However back then she claimed that her “precious son was incapable of harming other kids” and instead insisted that I had to have been lying about her son.

To make matters worse, during my final year at the school, she went out of her way to place a formal complaint against me to the school based on unfounded claims in what I assume was her attempt at ‘getting back at me.’

Basically it was too little, too late – especially after the mother was kind of a bully herself back then, defending her son all the way to the school’s office.

In my opinion, she had so many years to step up as an adult and to address and correct the problem and situation on her end and yet she didn’t. Instead it took her years of complaints from other parents to supposedly ‘open her eyes.’

On top of this, I still have not heard a word from her son himself so the apology further came off as insincere and instead just the mother’s way to absolve herself of any guilt or whatever her personal reasoning was. Does my reaction make me TA?

He’s worried he was wrong, or too harsh, but what does Reddit think?

Let’s find out!

Apologies are not required to be accepted. If you’re not ready, don’t feel obligated.

Image Credit: Reddit

And not all apologies are made for the right reasons.

Image Credit: Reddit

Not even at all.

Image Credit: Reddit

Honestly, she has a lot of nerve.

Image Credit: Reddit

It doesn’t sound like it was a real apology.

Image Credit: Reddit

An improper apology doesn’t deserve a proper response.

Image Credit: Reddit

I am with the commenters on this one – it doesn’t sound like this woman is even sorry, so I’m not sure why she apologized in the first place.

What are your thoughts on this, and on apologies in general? Let’s discuss in the comments!

The post Should This Person Have Accepted an Apology From the Mother of Childhood Bully? appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In.

Back in the 1960s, women burned their bras to protest the Vietnam War (among other things), but in “polite” society, the proper undergarments have always been required. Even the sitcom Seinfeld tackled the issue in an episode in the late 90s, in which a woman wearing no bra (or wearing only a bra) “caused” an accident and was sued in court.

Bras aren’t required though, right? So, does choosing not to wear one make a woman an a$shole?

That’s what this OP is wondering after an incident at home. She came to dinner with her teenage sister and parents without a bra, and her father made a comment about her needing to put one on before they could eat dinner.

I (19F) am currently living at home with my parents. This happened back in September, I am only posting now because something recently reminded me of this.

I tend to usually not wear a bra around the house, because it’s uncomfortable. During COVID times, since I don’t leave the house very much, that means that I am usually not wearing a bra.

The incident in question happened when my parents called me and my sister (17F) to eat dinner. I was not wearing a bra, as per usual, and my dad made some comment like “This is going to be a bra-wearing meal.” I thought it was a joke, kind of, so I just kind of said nothing, and obviously didn’t go to put a bra on.

When her father wouldn’t let it go, making it clear that he was not joking, her sister took her own bra off in solidarity.

But he kept hounding, saying that I needed to go put a bra on before we could eat dinner. My sister (who I guess is way braver than I am), in response to what he was saying immediately took her bra off. (She took it off while her shirt was still on so it’s not like she stripped in front of anyone or anything).

Their father confessed that it “makes him uncomfortable” when they don’t wear bras in the house and then proceeded to give them the silent treatment for the rest of the night.

The next day, things were back to normal.

Then my dad got really quiet and said that it “makes him uncomfortable” when we don’t wear bras, and he just kind of left the room. He eventually came back to eat dinner with us, but he didn’t say a word the entire time.

The rest of us were shocked, I guess? and no one really said anything for the entire meal and it kind of ruined dinner. He also wouldn’t speak to us for the rest of the night, but by the next day he was pretending like everything was back to normal.

When it happened again, though, he again reiterated his discomfort and acted angry that she wasn’t complying.

And again, recently, he made some comment about how what I was wearing (a t-shirt with no bra and shorts) made him uncomfortable, and he got mad again and wouldn’t talk to anyone.

Her mom seems to be staying out of it, and she’s wondering if she’s doing something wrong since she’s making her father uncomfortable.

My mom was there for both events and didn’t say anything, although she usually doesn’t go against my dad. But he got pretty mad, and I don’t really like making people uncomfortable.

So, AITA for not putting a bra on for my dad when it makes him uncomfortable if I don’t?

What does Reddit say? Let’s keep reading and find out!

This man made a very good point, that the rule should apply to everyone, then?

Image Credit: Reddit

There’s an obvious elephant in the room, too.

Image Credit: Reddit

It’s really not normal – or at least, it shouldn’t be.

Image Credit: Reddit

But apparently it’s a thing (that needs to change).

Image Credit: Reddit

This is how dads are supposed to act.

Image Credit: Reddit

The bottom line is that it’s weird for parents to sexualize their kids, full stop.

And no one should get to dictate what other people wear under their clothes.

What are your thoughts? Share in the comments!

The post A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In. appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In.

Back in the 1960s, women burned their bras to protest the Vietnam War (among other things), but in “polite” society, the proper undergarments have always been required. Even the sitcom Seinfeld tackled the issue in an episode in the late 90s, in which a woman wearing no bra (or wearing only a bra) “caused” an accident and was sued in court.

Bras aren’t required though, right? So, does choosing not to wear one make a woman an a$shole?

That’s what this OP is wondering after an incident at home. She came to dinner with her teenage sister and parents without a bra, and her father made a comment about her needing to put one on before they could eat dinner.

I (19F) am currently living at home with my parents. This happened back in September, I am only posting now because something recently reminded me of this.

I tend to usually not wear a bra around the house, because it’s uncomfortable. During COVID times, since I don’t leave the house very much, that means that I am usually not wearing a bra.

The incident in question happened when my parents called me and my sister (17F) to eat dinner. I was not wearing a bra, as per usual, and my dad made some comment like “This is going to be a bra-wearing meal.” I thought it was a joke, kind of, so I just kind of said nothing, and obviously didn’t go to put a bra on.

When her father wouldn’t let it go, making it clear that he was not joking, her sister took her own bra off in solidarity.

But he kept hounding, saying that I needed to go put a bra on before we could eat dinner. My sister (who I guess is way braver than I am), in response to what he was saying immediately took her bra off. (She took it off while her shirt was still on so it’s not like she stripped in front of anyone or anything).

Their father confessed that it “makes him uncomfortable” when they don’t wear bras in the house and then proceeded to give them the silent treatment for the rest of the night.

The next day, things were back to normal.

Then my dad got really quiet and said that it “makes him uncomfortable” when we don’t wear bras, and he just kind of left the room. He eventually came back to eat dinner with us, but he didn’t say a word the entire time.

The rest of us were shocked, I guess? and no one really said anything for the entire meal and it kind of ruined dinner. He also wouldn’t speak to us for the rest of the night, but by the next day he was pretending like everything was back to normal.

When it happened again, though, he again reiterated his discomfort and acted angry that she wasn’t complying.

And again, recently, he made some comment about how what I was wearing (a t-shirt with no bra and shorts) made him uncomfortable, and he got mad again and wouldn’t talk to anyone.

Her mom seems to be staying out of it, and she’s wondering if she’s doing something wrong since she’s making her father uncomfortable.

My mom was there for both events and didn’t say anything, although she usually doesn’t go against my dad. But he got pretty mad, and I don’t really like making people uncomfortable.

So, AITA for not putting a bra on for my dad when it makes him uncomfortable if I don’t?

What does Reddit say? Let’s keep reading and find out!

This man made a very good point, that the rule should apply to everyone, then?

Image Credit: Reddit

There’s an obvious elephant in the room, too.

Image Credit: Reddit

It’s really not normal – or at least, it shouldn’t be.

Image Credit: Reddit

But apparently it’s a thing (that needs to change).

Image Credit: Reddit

This is how dads are supposed to act.

Image Credit: Reddit

The bottom line is that it’s weird for parents to sexualize their kids, full stop.

And no one should get to dictate what other people wear under their clothes.

What are your thoughts? Share in the comments!

The post A Woman Asked if She’s a Jerk For Not Wearing a Bra. People Weighed In. appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Woman Asked if It’s Rude to Not Wear a Gifted Bikini Because She Doesn’t Shave Down There

If you’re an adult, I think those habits should be your business and no one else’s – not even a romantic partner’s, if we’re being completely honest.

When it comes to health and comfort, I am a crusader, y’all.

This woman received a bikini as a gift from her mother, but to wear it would mean changing her personal habits.

She and her mother have been at odds over her personal style for some time, so likely her mother knew that the gift was not going to be well received.

AITA for not wearing bikini that mom bought me?

For context, my (19F) mother (44F) has been trying to get me to dress more “s**y” for a while now but it’s just not my thing. I have told her this several times but her response is always the same. I need to start dressing s**y like girls my age, otherwise I will get bullied at university.

This is, of course, a load of bollocks. Not once have I been bullied for my “uns**y” fashion sense. Why would it start now?

She got me a super skimpy swimsuit for Christmas, which pissed me off to no end, but I decided to grin and bear it for the sake of avoiding an argument. I would quietly pack it away and let it gather dust. It’s not like I could wear it anyway as I keep a full bush and the set she got me doesn’t give enough coverage.

When OP decided not to wear her mother’s bikini on a beach trip, things came to a head. Her mother informed her that she needed to do more grooming, lest she be rejected by romantic partners in the future.

OP is sexually active and her boyfriend has no trouble with her choices, but she didn’t feel like discussing it all in front of her family – understandably so.

Recently, we were going on a trip to the beach and I picked my own bikini over my mother’s. She asked me why I wasn’t wearing the bikini she got me for Christmas. I said that I didn’t want to. She blew up at me and called me ungrateful. I told her she needs to listen to me more and not buy things on my behalf just because she likes them.

She asked me what was wrong with the set she got me. I told her that the bikini bottoms didn’t have enough coverage. She told me I need to shave more often but I stood my ground and told her that I like my pubic hair. She said that I need to change my attitude towards grooming or my boyfriend will break up with me.

I desperately wanted to tell her that I am sexually active (she just assumes that I am not because I am an introvert) and that my boyfriend loves my body the way it is but this argument was taking place in the hallway, with my brother (21M) and sister (23F) hearing every word, and I was humiliated enough as it was.

Her boyfriend and brother supported OP, but her sister thinks she should listen to their mom (and seems to agree with her opinions on grooming), so now she’s feeling conflicted.

I was angry and upset and needed to vent so I stormed off to my room and told them that I wasn’t going. My mother’s words really hurt and started to play on my mind, so I FaceTimed my boyfriend for some support. He was so sweet and reassuring. I was in tears when I rang and his lovely words really cheered me up.

I received two separate messages from my siblings. One from my brother asking if I was okay and one from my sister calling me a bitch and siding with our mother. She told me that she was only trying to help and that I would be wise to listen to our mother every once in a while rather than “constantly going against the grain”.

She then followed it up with a rather nasty “Word of advice regarding guys, nobody likes a hairy vag”.

I am so confused right now. My brother and my boyfriend seem to be on my side but my sister is pretty firmly on my mother’s.

Am I the asshole here?

Reddit, of course, is ready to weigh in.

The first comment was about her mother wanting her to “dress more sexy,” which is kind of odd, if you think about it.

Image Credit: Reddit

This woman’s advice was to refuse to discuss it at all.

Image Credit: Reddit

Proof that women have plenty of internalized misogyny of their own.

Image Credit: Reddit

If you want a guy’s point of view…

Image Credit: Reddit

Sadly, this woman is not alone.

Image Credit: Reddit

Y’all, I think we should all try harder to just mind our own business, don’t you think? I mean, it’s worth shot…

What are your thoughts on this? Have you had a similar experience? If so, share it with us in the comments!

The post A Woman Asked if It’s Rude to Not Wear a Gifted Bikini Because She Doesn’t Shave Down There appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

A Woman Asked if It’s Rude to Not Wear a Gifted Bikini Because She Doesn’t Shave Down There

If you’re an adult, I think those habits should be your business and no one else’s – not even a romantic partner’s, if we’re being completely honest.

When it comes to health and comfort, I am a crusader, y’all.

This woman received a bikini as a gift from her mother, but to wear it would mean changing her personal habits.

She and her mother have been at odds over her personal style for some time, so likely her mother knew that the gift was not going to be well received.

AITA for not wearing bikini that mom bought me?

For context, my (19F) mother (44F) has been trying to get me to dress more “s**y” for a while now but it’s just not my thing. I have told her this several times but her response is always the same. I need to start dressing s**y like girls my age, otherwise I will get bullied at university.

This is, of course, a load of bollocks. Not once have I been bullied for my “uns**y” fashion sense. Why would it start now?

She got me a super skimpy swimsuit for Christmas, which pissed me off to no end, but I decided to grin and bear it for the sake of avoiding an argument. I would quietly pack it away and let it gather dust. It’s not like I could wear it anyway as I keep a full bush and the set she got me doesn’t give enough coverage.

When OP decided not to wear her mother’s bikini on a beach trip, things came to a head. Her mother informed her that she needed to do more grooming, lest she be rejected by romantic partners in the future.

OP is sexually active and her boyfriend has no trouble with her choices, but she didn’t feel like discussing it all in front of her family – understandably so.

Recently, we were going on a trip to the beach and I picked my own bikini over my mother’s. She asked me why I wasn’t wearing the bikini she got me for Christmas. I said that I didn’t want to. She blew up at me and called me ungrateful. I told her she needs to listen to me more and not buy things on my behalf just because she likes them.

She asked me what was wrong with the set she got me. I told her that the bikini bottoms didn’t have enough coverage. She told me I need to shave more often but I stood my ground and told her that I like my pubic hair. She said that I need to change my attitude towards grooming or my boyfriend will break up with me.

I desperately wanted to tell her that I am sexually active (she just assumes that I am not because I am an introvert) and that my boyfriend loves my body the way it is but this argument was taking place in the hallway, with my brother (21M) and sister (23F) hearing every word, and I was humiliated enough as it was.

Her boyfriend and brother supported OP, but her sister thinks she should listen to their mom (and seems to agree with her opinions on grooming), so now she’s feeling conflicted.

I was angry and upset and needed to vent so I stormed off to my room and told them that I wasn’t going. My mother’s words really hurt and started to play on my mind, so I FaceTimed my boyfriend for some support. He was so sweet and reassuring. I was in tears when I rang and his lovely words really cheered me up.

I received two separate messages from my siblings. One from my brother asking if I was okay and one from my sister calling me a bitch and siding with our mother. She told me that she was only trying to help and that I would be wise to listen to our mother every once in a while rather than “constantly going against the grain”.

She then followed it up with a rather nasty “Word of advice regarding guys, nobody likes a hairy vag”.

I am so confused right now. My brother and my boyfriend seem to be on my side but my sister is pretty firmly on my mother’s.

Am I the asshole here?

Reddit, of course, is ready to weigh in.

The first comment was about her mother wanting her to “dress more sexy,” which is kind of odd, if you think about it.

Image Credit: Reddit

This woman’s advice was to refuse to discuss it at all.

Image Credit: Reddit

Proof that women have plenty of internalized misogyny of their own.

Image Credit: Reddit

If you want a guy’s point of view…

Image Credit: Reddit

Sadly, this woman is not alone.

Image Credit: Reddit

Y’all, I think we should all try harder to just mind our own business, don’t you think? I mean, it’s worth shot…

What are your thoughts on this? Have you had a similar experience? If so, share it with us in the comments!

The post A Woman Asked if It’s Rude to Not Wear a Gifted Bikini Because She Doesn’t Shave Down There appeared first on UberFacts.

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A New Mom Wonders If She Was Wrong to Give Her Baby Her Ex-Husband’s Name

For a lot of women, taking their new spouse’s name after marriage is understood, accepted, and even anticipated. More and more women are reconsidering what they see as an antiquated notion and deciding to keep their own names, even after marriage.

Whichever way you go, there are complications and little annoyances to deal with, all of which have to deal with physically changing your name, or correcting people when you don’t.

And that’s before we even get into the complication of divorce, which is what prompted this post on Reddit’s Am I The A$shole thread.

OP (Original Poster) was 19 when she married her high school sweetheart and took his last name. Their marriage ended shortly thereafter and she moved to another country to start over, but didn’t change her name.

The main reason for that (she says) is that her maiden name is hard to spell, hard to pronounce, and was given to her by an abusive father, so she saw no reason to jump through the hoops to change it back.

I (31f) got married very young, 19, to a guy who was also 19 at the time. We were high school sweethearts and unfortunately he fell in love with a coworker and left me for her about a year into our marriage. We divorced and I moved to an entire different country across the world to “restart”. One thing that I did keep from that marriage was his last name.

My dad was born in Russia (I was born and raised in the US) and my maiden name was 9 letters long and ridiculously hard/impossible to spell or pronounce for people. And to top it off my dad was extremely abusive and I ended up living with a friend from 14 till graduation because of his abuse. So I had no real attachments to my maiden name and it was only a burden.

Her ex’s name, by comparison, is not only easy to spell and pronounce, but in her new language, it has a meaning she enjoys.

My ex husband’s last name, now mine, has an amazingly simple impossible to pronounce wrong/misspell name that has an amazing meaning. Think along the lines of Love. It’s great! And works great in my new main language.

Recently she’s become pregnant – a welcome realization and addition to her happy life. She has a good job, pays for her own place, and is happily free.

The father does not want to be involved in any way and she says that she is fine with his decision. She plans to give the baby the last name she’s had for 13+ years.

Over the last year I found myself pregnant with a guy I had been seeing for some time but had a messy background with his ex. I have a great job that was pandemic proof and a lovely home I pay for myself. I’m really proud of the life I have built and I wasn’t sad to be pregnant especially since I wasn’t sure if it would happen for me and I always wanted kids.

Sadly, the guy decided he wanted to try and make his relationship with his ex. I am not going after him for any child support, as I don’t need it and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with our baby.

Now I am planning to have my baby and to give my baby what has been my last name now for almost 13 years.

Then, her ex-husband, who she hadn’t spoken to in a decade, messaged her on Facebook.

Not sure how or when someone informed my ex husband about my pregnancy (I didn’t announce) but recently I opened a message from him on social media. I was shocked to say the least as I haven’t heard from in a decade.

He knew she was pregnant and wanted to know whether or not she was planning to give the baby “his” last name.

The point of his message was that he knew I was pregnant and he wanted to know if I planned on giving the baby “his” last name. I responded friendly and said that although I did get the name from marrying him that I felt like after all these years and being on a different continent then him, it was also mine.

I don’t think of him when I use it. I just think of who I am now.

When she said yes, he flipped out. He called her names, and their mutual old friends are all on his side.

Well he FLIPPED out. He wrote me scathing messages calling me “whore” and saying how he won’t stand for a “bastard” child to be sporting his last name. Now I’m getting messages from his girlfriend, his friends that we used to know in high school, and his random family members. All calling me names and telling me I’m a horrible person for using this last name on my child and even on myself.

They keep calling me “obsessed” and a “stalker”. It’s honestly so scary to open up any apps these days because I know a barrage of hateful messages will be waiting for me.

She feels like it’s her name, she never thinks about him, they haven’t spoken in a decade or more, so…is she wrong?

Let’s see what Reddit has to say, shall we?

The top comment points out that he’s the one being weird and stalker-ish, not her.

Image Credit: Reddit

And yeah, it’s not like he’s the only person in the world with that last name. Is he going to scream at all of them?

Image Credit: Reddit

Plain and simple.

Image Credit: Reddit

There seems to be a lot of moral finger pointing from a guy who cheated on his wife. Just sayin.

Image Credit: Reddit

Smash the patriarchy.

Image Credit: Reddit

I think this woman is strong and amazing and I wish her the best.

What are your thoughts? If you disagree with me (and the commenters) tell us why down in the comments!

The post A New Mom Wonders If She Was Wrong to Give Her Baby Her Ex-Husband’s Name appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

A New Mom Wonders If She Was Wrong to Give Her Baby Her Ex-Husband’s Name

For a lot of women, taking their new spouse’s name after marriage is understood, accepted, and even anticipated. More and more women are reconsidering what they see as an antiquated notion and deciding to keep their own names, even after marriage.

Whichever way you go, there are complications and little annoyances to deal with, all of which have to deal with physically changing your name, or correcting people when you don’t.

And that’s before we even get into the complication of divorce, which is what prompted this post on Reddit’s Am I The A$shole thread.

OP (Original Poster) was 19 when she married her high school sweetheart and took his last name. Their marriage ended shortly thereafter and she moved to another country to start over, but didn’t change her name.

The main reason for that (she says) is that her maiden name is hard to spell, hard to pronounce, and was given to her by an abusive father, so she saw no reason to jump through the hoops to change it back.

I (31f) got married very young, 19, to a guy who was also 19 at the time. We were high school sweethearts and unfortunately he fell in love with a coworker and left me for her about a year into our marriage. We divorced and I moved to an entire different country across the world to “restart”. One thing that I did keep from that marriage was his last name.

My dad was born in Russia (I was born and raised in the US) and my maiden name was 9 letters long and ridiculously hard/impossible to spell or pronounce for people. And to top it off my dad was extremely abusive and I ended up living with a friend from 14 till graduation because of his abuse. So I had no real attachments to my maiden name and it was only a burden.

Her ex’s name, by comparison, is not only easy to spell and pronounce, but in her new language, it has a meaning she enjoys.

My ex husband’s last name, now mine, has an amazingly simple impossible to pronounce wrong/misspell name that has an amazing meaning. Think along the lines of Love. It’s great! And works great in my new main language.

Recently she’s become pregnant – a welcome realization and addition to her happy life. She has a good job, pays for her own place, and is happily free.

The father does not want to be involved in any way and she says that she is fine with his decision. She plans to give the baby the last name she’s had for 13+ years.

Over the last year I found myself pregnant with a guy I had been seeing for some time but had a messy background with his ex. I have a great job that was pandemic proof and a lovely home I pay for myself. I’m really proud of the life I have built and I wasn’t sad to be pregnant especially since I wasn’t sure if it would happen for me and I always wanted kids.

Sadly, the guy decided he wanted to try and make his relationship with his ex. I am not going after him for any child support, as I don’t need it and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with our baby.

Now I am planning to have my baby and to give my baby what has been my last name now for almost 13 years.

Then, her ex-husband, who she hadn’t spoken to in a decade, messaged her on Facebook.

Not sure how or when someone informed my ex husband about my pregnancy (I didn’t announce) but recently I opened a message from him on social media. I was shocked to say the least as I haven’t heard from in a decade.

He knew she was pregnant and wanted to know whether or not she was planning to give the baby “his” last name.

The point of his message was that he knew I was pregnant and he wanted to know if I planned on giving the baby “his” last name. I responded friendly and said that although I did get the name from marrying him that I felt like after all these years and being on a different continent then him, it was also mine.

I don’t think of him when I use it. I just think of who I am now.

When she said yes, he flipped out. He called her names, and their mutual old friends are all on his side.

Well he FLIPPED out. He wrote me scathing messages calling me “whore” and saying how he won’t stand for a “bastard” child to be sporting his last name. Now I’m getting messages from his girlfriend, his friends that we used to know in high school, and his random family members. All calling me names and telling me I’m a horrible person for using this last name on my child and even on myself.

They keep calling me “obsessed” and a “stalker”. It’s honestly so scary to open up any apps these days because I know a barrage of hateful messages will be waiting for me.

She feels like it’s her name, she never thinks about him, they haven’t spoken in a decade or more, so…is she wrong?

Let’s see what Reddit has to say, shall we?

The top comment points out that he’s the one being weird and stalker-ish, not her.

Image Credit: Reddit

And yeah, it’s not like he’s the only person in the world with that last name. Is he going to scream at all of them?

Image Credit: Reddit

Plain and simple.

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There seems to be a lot of moral finger pointing from a guy who cheated on his wife. Just sayin.

Image Credit: Reddit

Smash the patriarchy.

Image Credit: Reddit

I think this woman is strong and amazing and I wish her the best.

What are your thoughts? If you disagree with me (and the commenters) tell us why down in the comments!

The post A New Mom Wonders If She Was Wrong to Give Her Baby Her Ex-Husband’s Name appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Person Taught Their Boss a Lesson About Why You Need To Warn Customers About Closing Time

It’s time to go!

Today we have an interesting story from Reddit about a worker who taught their manager a lesson that they’d be wise to heed in the future.

Take a look at this story and how folks on Reddit reacted.

Start now!

Proved to my manager that it’s better to warn customers of closing time

“I used to work at a store that was open until 2AM every night of the week, so as you can imagine, when 2AM rolled around I was always ready to get out of there.

Around 1:45AM, I would walk around and let each customer know individually that the store was closing in 15 minutes, and ask them if they needed help finding anything before then. I did this for about 4 months working there and never had a problem, other than the occasional super rude customer who would completely ignore me and keep shopping until like 2:30/3 or whatever.

Or occasionally, especially on weekends, drunk people would come in after 2AM and just ignore that we were closed, because we weren’t allowed to lock the door or turn anyone away.

Usually I was alone by 1:45 since business really slows down, but one night my manager was still there. When she saw me go and tell customers the store was closing in 15 minutes, she was p**sed. She told me I could NEVER tell a customer the store was closing. She said it was incredibly rude and put too much pressure on them.

Fast forward to a few weeks later. I have still been giving customers a 15-minute heads up, because frankly I don’t think it’s rude to tell someone your store is about to close, especially at 2AM. Here is when I see my opportunity.

A woman had come in around 12AM. She seemed pretty out of it, and was wandering around the store aimlessly this whole time, but occasionally bringing something to the counter, asking me to hold it, then coming back and asking me to put it back because she changed her mind.

I had the feeling she could spend all night wandering around the store, so I decided that this would be the one customer I wouldn’t warn about closing. 2AM rolls around and I say nothing, and I proceed to say nothing all the way until 4:45AM when she finally leaves the store.

I literally got a call at 8AM the next day from my manager, furious that I had closed the store almost at 5AM. I innocently told her that the woman was still busy shopping the whole time, and I remind her that it’s extremely rude to tell a customer that the store is closed.

The next night when I went in for my shift, they had made the 15 minute warning a universal rule. We were all supposed to warn customers the store was closing, PLUS we were supposed to turn people away if they showed up after 2AM. Score!

Afterward I admitted to my other coworkers I had done it intentionally to show management how dumb their decision was, and I’m glad I did it because we never had to let another drunk teenager into the store after 2AM again.”

And this is what folks on Reddit had to say about this person’s story.

This person thinks they did a good job…and it’s always been a good idea!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another reader argued that the manager’s behavior in this situation is just plain odd. I think I agree. And there’s a safety issue to think about, too.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This Reddit user said that this move doesn’t even make sense from a business perspective. You’re wasting money!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another reader called this a total no-brainer. Amen!

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Finally, another person said that the manager was totally clueless on this one and that their position defies logic. Yup!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Have you ever taught your boss a lesson at work?

Or maybe a co-worker?

Share your stories with us in the comments. We’d love to hear from you!

The post A Person Taught Their Boss a Lesson About Why You Need To Warn Customers About Closing Time appeared first on UberFacts.

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Guy Checks His Blood Sugar in Front of Co-Worker With a Blood Phobia. Is He Acting Like a Jerk?

Well, this story from Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole?” page sure is a weird one.

It involves blood, a disgruntled co-worker, and a phobia.

Let’s take a look at what happened and how folks on Reddit reacted.

AITA for checking my blood sugar at my desk when my coworker has a severe blood phobia?

“I (24M) enjoy my job and have two coworkers, Megan (25F) and our new coworker James (23M) who just started. The three of us each have our own office space, but because we have to frequently collaborate on work throughout the day we are often at each other’s desks.

I am a type 1 diabetic, I give insulin and check my blood sugar throughout the day as needed. I give insulin through a pump so that’s not an issue. Checking my blood sugar involves pricking my finger to draw a drop of blood, the blood gets sucked up into a test strip that is connected to a glucose meter, and the meter displays the reading. The whole process takes like 10 seconds.

I was checking my blood sugar in my office right when James walked over. Immediately, his face went white, he looked like he was about to puke or faint or maybe both. I was like, dude are you okay? He told me that he has a major blood and needle phobia and gets therapy for it.

I explained what I was doing and why it was necessary and he said it’s “freaky” that I have to MAKE myself bleed multiple times a day. He told me he never wants to accidentally walk in on me checking my blood sugar again because he could pass out. I said that if I’m checking my blood sugar and hear him coming over I can call out a warning like “give me a sec!”.

He said that won’t work, just knowing that I’m doing that just before he comes over is enough to freak him out, and that he would be stressed that I might not hear him walking over.

He told me I should check it in the bathroom from now on. I told him that I don’t think I should have to do that and it’s unsanitary. He said another option was if I only check my blood sugar at certain times, say 9am, 12pm before eating lunch, and 4pm, that way he’d know when to avoid me. I said these things can’t always be predicted, I’ll need to check if I feel my blood sugar going high or low.

He said he understands that I have diabetes but that he also has a special need (his blood phobia) that needs to be accommodated and that he doesn’t want to have to avoid me at work and only talk to Megan for fear he might see me checking again. He said he’ll talk to HR about this and that he’ll tell them that I refused to compromise with him.

That was last Thursday before the holidays, tomorrow I’m thinking of going to talk to HR before James does, but first I need to know that I’m in the right here.

So AITA for not being more accommodating of James’ blood/needle phobia and checking my blood sugar as needed at my desk?”

Like I said, this is an odd one…here’s how folks reacted.

This reader said that the man is not being an a**hole and that this is a health issue.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another person said that the co-worker is being unreasonable and, most importantly, is being very SELFISH. Get over it, dude.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This Reddit user said that the man needs to talk to HR at his work because this is a medical issue and the co-worker can’t be a factor in where he decides to check his blood sugar.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And lastly, this Reddit user said that the co-worker is being pretty ridiculous and the man’s situation can literally be life-and-death due to his condition.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think?

Is what this guy is doing really rude?

Or is it no big deal?

Sound off in the comments!

The post Guy Checks His Blood Sugar in Front of Co-Worker With a Blood Phobia. Is He Acting Like a Jerk? appeared first on UberFacts.