I don’t talk in my sleep, but my best friend is, and let me tell you, there’s nothing quite so disconcerting as waking up in the middle of the night to someone in the middle of a completely weird conversation with you.

I always think these stories are so hilarious – and sometimes freaky – and these 17 tales are no exception.

17. She could write a book.

A really funny and equally disturbing book.

16. It’s a question that always needs answers.

It’s how we make decisions, people.

15. How many trousers does a man wear?

A man has no trousers.

14. That last one though.

Nothing in the more popular blue and black, I suppose.

13. Yes, very odd.

But no one likes to miss out on crumpets.

12. Good for them.

You’ve got to stand up for yourself, you know?

11. He’ll never live it down.

Nor should he.

10. That did not go how I imagined at the start.

It seems like a viable option, though.

9. I cannot stop giggling.

That poor man. A rude awakening to be sure!

8. So considerate.

No one wants to miss the film.

7. It’s best to just go along.

There’s no point in arguing.

6. Do you run? Hold still?

Scream? There is no manual for this!

5. Yes we all know perfectly well.

You cannot taunt the tigers.

4. That is hilarious.

But it will definitely wake you up.

3. Now I kind of want to try it.

I mean. You never know.

2. He had no trouble sleeping, though.

Of course.

1. Maybe he knows something she doesn’t.

Just trying to be helpful, that one.

I could read through these forever, couldn’t you?

Do you live with a sleep-talker? Share with us the funniest or strangest thing they’ve ever said in the middle of the night!

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