People Talk About the Ways They Overcome Low Self-esteem

There are few things worse than feeling down on yourself.

The worse you feel about you, the more you give up, which makes you feel even worse, and the cycle just goes on and on.

So how do we break out? Is there even a way?

Has anyone with severely low self-esteem ever managed to overcome it? What happened? from AskReddit

Let’s see what some of the people of Reddit had to say.

1. “Confidence is the key.”

I was bullied as a kid and I realized that had far reaching effects into my adulthood causing feelings of unworthiness and that the bottom of the social ladder was where I belonged. I let people walk all over me and My self esteem / confidence in myself spiralled lower and lower.

It took many years and experiences to change this mindset, but brief moments where I took control and was put in situations that required assertiveness slowly trained my mind and gave me more confidence.

Confidence is the key and I can say one of the main contributors for me at least to overcoming this was looking the part. I exercised, got in shape, read magazines for fashion tips to dress better and generally cleaned myself up and it did wonders.

This made Others place more confidence in me and in turn your confidence in yourself grows. And it sort of clicks and you realize that you’re not stuck where you are. You are in control. You need to feel confident to be confident. You shouldn’t live your life based on external validation but it does help and sometimes is the impetus you need to get your head out of your *ss.

I was always instilled with values as a kid about not being shallow to look past the superficial and while these are all good values I found this to be half The lesson. unfortunately we live in a superficial world But nothing says you can’t look good and not be superficial at the same time.

– WildBuns1234

2. “Nope.”

Nope. It’s been a problem that’s stuck with me for my entire life, and informs practically every decision I make. I can’t walk into a room of other people without automatically assuming that I’m the worst person in the room, and none of my ideas matter to anyone. Depression, anxiety, and a lifetime of being treated like you’re a nuisance to others will do that to you. I’m just always afraid of bothering people. How could someone as lowly and worthless as I even think to intrude on somebody else?

In recent years, I’ve made efforts to be more assertive, but it’s really all just a bunch of false bravado in the face of the crippling anxiety I feel while doing it. There is no genuine confidence. I’m not even certain that I’m capable of manifesting such a thing, and I’m very afraid that I will just remain this way for the rest of my life.

– CurseOfMyth

3. “Now I can do things.”

When i was really depressed, i started to make a daily list of really simple stuff that I often didn’t do, like wake up without snoozing, brushing my teeth in the morning, performing a bedtime ritual. I even had something as simple as “drink water” when i first started my list.

I kept adding more stuff to the list until I could do progressively harder things, and now I can do things that were harder for me than before I had depression. It was a gradual change that made me realize how up until that point in my life, I had never actually exerted personal power to change my life.

Every major change had happened as a result of my environment, and this epiphany led me to take personal responsibility over everything in my life, even things that were pretty much out of my control. Although you can’t control getting rejected from jobs or girls/boys, you can control how you respond to these situations. This is how I gained greater self-esteem.

– Iron_to_Gold

4. “I have definitely improved.”

I cut out the piece of sh*t who made me feel that way.

Can’t exactly say I’m a confident person but I have definitely improved.

– LouTenant6767

5. “Thanks, brain.”

I had terrible self esteem issues most of my life, which most of it probably stemmed from stupid depression. Thanks, brain. Appreciate you.

I was allowing terrible people into my life because someone is better than no one, right? I was r*ped at one point and started to spiral down a REALLY bad path of sleeping around, drinking in excess, just hating myself and the police and hospitals. It was just a bad few years. I had a “friend” who later turned out to be so bad to have around and I finally left the friendship after five years.

I then started to work on myself. I wanted to be better. I wanted to FEEL happiness. I started going to kickboxing classes, I started exercising, I was eating better, I stopped drinking all the time, stopped having sex. I lost almost 90 pounds at one point and was actually in love with MYSELF.

I was in my 30’s when I finally got there, but I got there. I think most people just finally get to the point of realization, almost an epiphany and things just…get better. I started to realize I live my life for me, not for others and I only allow good people into my life.

– ApostropheJ

6. “Doesn’t make the process easier.”

I’ve been trying, but sometimes it feels like everyone else wants to kick you while you’re down and remind you constantly that you’re just a worthless *sshole.

Doesn’t make the process easier.

– Squishys_Girl

7. “I gradually started appreciating.”

It took a long time and a lot of sources contributed to it, but I gradually started appreciating all my little quirks instead of hating them.

Examples: I used to hate the way my voice sounded, but I started watching Pewdiepie and thought that he has a unique voice but millions of fans, so I appreciated my unique voice.

I hated seeing myself in photos/having my photo taken, but Ethan Klein from H3H3prductions said something along the lines of when someone looks at a picture of you they just see you and think “oh! a person I know,” not hateful thoughts.

– takenbysleep7

8. “Unconditional love.”

I helped my gf overcome her most severe self-esteem issues with years of unconditional love and support.

When she gained enough stability and trust she exposed herself to social situations she formerly avoided until she overwrote her traumatic teenage experiences with good ones…

– Affolektric

9. “Growin up.”

I did. It was a combination of growing up, achieving things that made me realize my abilities, getting out in the world more, and comparing what I’d accomplished with the accomplishments of others.

– Eff-Bee-Exx

10. “Keep these words in mind.”

Keep these words in mind. You are the product of natural selection by all your ancestors. Never compare yourself to others, because you are a completely unique individual.

If you compare, you will despair because of course there a people who are better at you in something,but if you think in the positive, you are good if not great at some things.

– SnooGoats9764

11. “I had a lot to offer the world.”

I dated a girl who made me realize that I had a lot to offer to the world and that the self-hatred that I struggled with was a product of Asian parents and bullying.

We ended up breaking up because she realized she’s gay, but we’re still good friends.

– CptS2T

12. “Being kinder to myself.”

I still struggle with “imposter syndrome” but in college I had severe depression and very low self-esteem.

My therapist back then helped me understand that I was engaging in a lot of negative self-talk, so my low self-esteem was purely because I was telling myself I wasn’t good enough.

I also told my counselor that I wanted to work with kids and he said “You would never say these things to children, so why do you say this to yourself?”

Seems silly writing it out, but honestly that helped me so much in changing my mindset and being kinder to myself!

– Mitziferret

13. “The reason partially disappeared.”

It has been different things and I surely don’t know every one of them. A big one for me was that the reason partially disappeared.

People used to not listen to me or stop listening out of nowhere or when someone interrupted me. Including my parents.

That changed in school after changing class. While talking, I was thinking to myself why people listen to me because I thought of myself as worthless.

Then I realized that I’m not. But I also noticed that others knew it and still made me feel that way by how they’ve treated me which caused frustration that I still haven’t worked through.

– Unbreakeable

14. “I just started caring less.”

I don’t think I overcame it as much as I just started caring less.

I hit my 30’s and just cared a lot less of what people thought of me and had less of a need to seek approval or validation from others

– goodforpinky

15. “Seek therapy.”

Hi, I don’t really have an answer to this question, BUT if your self esteem is severely low and you feel like it’s affecting your life negatively then you should perhaps seek therapy.

A lot of self esteem issues stems from specific moments in your life and it could be good to have someone to talk to about this.

I am going to do this soon, and I think that you should consider it if you have this problem.

– Agrochain920

If you’re stuck in this loop, just remember above all: you don’t have to be. And anyone who tells you otherwise, even if it’s you, is lying.

What do you think of this topic?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Talk About the Ways They Overcome Low Self-esteem appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss What it Takes to Be a “Serial Monogamist”

There’s an interesting term: serial monogamist.

Apparently it just means a person who’s with a lot of people, but like, one at a time. Not much of a break in between.

Now, every single time a relationship ends for me, I assume a new one will never arise and spend 2+ years practicing to be a monk, so folks who behave this way are a mystery.

People that are always in relationships: How do you skip from one relationship to the next? Where do you meet these people?? from AskReddit

Let’s see if we can figure out what’s going on with the help of some insights from Redditors.

1. “It feels so sad.”

Its not a healthy trait to keep bouncing off from one relationship to another. It goes to show that people are afraid of being alone or always codependent on a partner for happiness. Many do this cause its a short term solution to move on quickly and not deal with breakups in a healthy manner.

But since you asked, I know some people who keep backups through online dating or from work or friend circle. Many also keep looking for someone better while in a relationship and when they do find that someone, they break up to go to the newer option. F*ck just typing this feels so sad.

– aaebrownguy

2. The potential dating network.

Having hobbies. You can meet so many people that way.

I recommend going in with the intent to just make some friends- if you’re desperate it’s going to show, and desperation is not attractive.

Having friends gives you a support network, and a potential dating network.

– foul_dwimmerlaik

3. “Not particularly ethical.”

I have a friend who I’ve known since we were about 8. She has not been single for more than a week since we were 16.

She maintains this by not breaking up with the previous guy until she has a new one lined up to take his place.

Not particularly ethical but it stops her being single which she hates.

– Thumbalina132

4. Go for broke.

They’re consumed by the idea of being alone so they put extra effort into not letting that happen.

Kinda like going from being fired from a job to another job so you don’t become broke

– whadupsirs

5. Come a little closer.

I literally starting dating the guy who sat next to me at work after I broke up with my ex.

Strangely enough, my ex also sat next to me at work at a different job, so I guess I just choose whoever is physically closest to me.

– SuperiorLeech

6. Jealous much?

My roommate is one of these people. I’m convinced he’s a sex addict. And misses out on a lot of other (potentially mind expanding) experiences because he’s lonely and wants to f*ck someone.

Or maybe I’m just jealous that he bangs all the babes

– Prigglesxo

7. “They found me.”

I was a “serial monogamist” for awhile. Important to note that this is “serial”, not “parallel”. No cheating, no “overlap” – just not a lot of time between ending one relationship and starting another.

It was always somebody I already knew. Usually somebody I hadn’t really thought about like that or figured they wouldn’t be interested in me anyway.

The relationship ending was almost always not what I wanted. That is to say, I got dumped. I wasn’t shopping around for somebody new and sabotaging myself.

I didn’t go looking for somebody else to date. They found me. Given the choice I’d have preferred more time. But when this kind of thing happens you don’t get to just be like “thanks for your interest, can you come back in a couple months?” The spark is here now, your choices are to see where it goes or not. I don’t regret making that choice. I would have always wondered.

– Se7enLC

8. Craving change.

I knew a girl like this in school. In those 4 years she had 5 boyfriends and I had none. Since school she has been engaged twice and has changed careers several times.

I on the other hand have had 1 boyfriend and 1 career path. Some people crave change or have a lower bar for entry.

One is not better than the other. People live their lives differently. I was jealous of her at the time but knowing myself her life would have been too chaotic for me.

– coco1919

9. Searching for contentment.

People think they need to find the happiness that doesn’t exist in their lives in somebody else.

They aren’t content with who they are, so they validate themselves by the presence of another

– Redemption357

10. For some people…

Being an attractive, nerdy, outgoing woman with a healthy love for booze and working in a male-dominated field pretty much meant I was surrounded by dudes who were interested in me ever since I got to college. Met them in class, at work, online gaming, at bars. Almost every single one was my friend first.

I feel like I’ll marry my current boyfriend, and I have to say I’ve had practice at seeing if something will work out — in the last 13 years I’ve had 6 serious relationships and a whole lot of less-serious ones. During the last few I made sure to force myself to be single for a while so that I’d not fall into any co-dependencies the next time around, which happily has worked (well, except for the booze, but I’m doing better on that front too). I’m significantly more emotionally balanced than I was even just three years ago; I think it’s possible my (then untreated) anxiety was spurring me along a lot more then.

– sea_rhapsody

11. One is done.

At the end of most relationships, one person is already well-past over it before the breakup happens.

In that case, all of the hovering relationship suiters finally see an opening. In some cases that’s while the relationship is still going, in some cases it is in the relationship change status, in others it is when the newly-single person finally feels free to hang out with people previously blocked.

When I was single, I had a mental list of who I would love to go on a date with as soon as they became single. We were friended, worked together, or already had common interests. Due to that, once an opening presented, it was time to declare intent.

– phoenix14830

12. The first date merry-go-round.

Before covid, the longest stretch I had between relationships was around 2 months.

Typically, I’d end up in a new relationship with a friend of a friend, acquaintances and the like that had found me desirable but couldn’t act on it because I wasn’t single. Once I was single they’d start flirting and if we clicked…

A few times I ended up with someone I worked with, for the same reasons as above.

When that didn’t happen I’d end up getting on the ‘first date merry-go-round’ via dating sites until I met someone I clicked with, which usually didn’t take more than a few tries.

I’m apparently a mystery. Women found me interesting because my mind worked differently from what they were used to, I treated them with respect without being a pushover and they couldn’t ‘figure me out’ easily, which led to them falling for me.

By the same token, once they figured out the mystery (which usually took 1 to 2 years) they’d soon find me to be “boring and predictable” and that would signal the start of them falling out of love with me and I’d be back to square one.

– MaestroLogical

13. Oh.

Tinde

– astakask

14. The pursued.

They’re the one coming to me, if they didn’t i would just be lonely.

– IC3BLU

15. Wait, what?

You mean you don’t keep spares in your basement?

– Daikataro

All very insightful. Except for that last one.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Share them with us in the comments.

The post People Discuss What it Takes to Be a “Serial Monogamist” appeared first on UberFacts.

Tips on How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem

Having low self-esteem is often a problem that is mocked or reframed as being weak or too sensitive. But the problem of forces causing a person to stop thinking they have worth are as old as humanity itself, and are nothing to scoff at.

That’s why questions like this one really tend to resonate:

Has anyone with severely low self-esteem ever managed to overcome it? What happened? from AskReddit

What do the people of Reddit say? Let’s find out.

1. “I had to retrain my brain.”

I realised that low self-esteem is caused by something, upbringing, people etc and therefore it can be undone, it doesn’t have to be a permanent fixture of what you are and most likely it’s a delusion.

So for me I just had to retrain my brain over a couple of years, replace the negative thoughts with positive ones, stop criticising myself, focus more on the accomplishments and not the failures, stop assuming I’m a mind reader and know what people are thinking about me.

You can definitely overcome low self-esteem.

– sweet_cheesecake1249

2. “No one knew me.”

I realized that no one knew me, so I could be whoever I wanted. I decided to be someone I liked.

People still hate me, but I like myself now.

– a-bad-knock-off

3. “I did everything I could to numb myself.”

When I was growing up my self esteem was so low I didn’t have friends, parents, money, I grew up in a foster home and was bullied at home by my step dad and at school by my teachers and classmates I tried to runaway in 2014 but someone called the police and I was sent to a hospital for unstable youth. When I got out I just internally collapsed I started cutting myself and getting into pills. I had been prescribed a popular party medicine normally used to treat adhd.

I sold it at school to buy weed and other pills. I overdosed at least 5 times before I hit 18 and for about a year after I still did everything I could to numb myself. Had 1 more hospital visit before I turned 19 and idk tbh I got my first actual job at 19 and just wanted to stop feeling that way so I just pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone and focus on what I love which is music.

I’m now 25 graduated, starting my own studio. Life’s still not the greatest but I’m glad I’m here. I hate feeling so low like I did and I do what I can so that others don’t go through what I did. Do what you love, and care for everyone no matter what treat every person you cross with respect and compassion and your life will change so much. I wish the best to you ?

– Kyakoi8

4. “My first step…”

My first step was that I deleted Facebook lol

I realized I was comparing my life to the overwhelmingly false supposed realities of people who I didn’t even know anymore.

I also decided to just, do things on my own more. I took all the things I enjoyed doing with people, and started doing them on my own… from dining out, to hiking and camping, to going to the movies, to snowboarding. I became comfortable with my own company and started looking at things differently.

I found I no longer needed the approval of others, because I was achieving things on my own – whether that achievement was as simple as spending 2 hours enjoying a movie while dedicating my full attention to it, or as grand as spending 7 days alone in the woods and successfully bringing a deer home to eat for the next 6 months.

I should mention everyone has different interests and hobbies, so don’t compare yours to others’. Whatever it is that you like to do, keep doing it and you will find self worth in it.

What happened I can’t say for sure, because this is an experiment in process… but I will say I feel pretty happy.

– MamboNumber5Guy

5. “I faked my confidence.”

I faked my confidence because confidence is attractive and then I ended up believing it myself

– gorillagriphoneypot

6. “My own happiness.”

I realized most people are fake and started caring about my own happiness instead of trying to please others.

– NoodlesvsPoodles

7. “Everyone laughed.”

I was a very serious athlete in my youth and competed internationally in European athletics in the 100m and 400m hurdles.

Due to all the training I was very flat chested. It didnt bother me much until my college boyfriend joked at a party that “banging me is like banging an ironing board”. Everyone laughed.

That single joke completely ruined my body positivity and I became very self conscious. I dumped that boyfriend… but still every time I attended a function I would pick out dresses that cover up your breasts entirely so that I could hide stuffed bras under them.

I hate to say this because I know redditors dont take kindly to fake bobs, but I got an augmentation and went from “ironing board” to a c-cup. My self esteem and confidence are now superb.

– dariaustinova

8. “Antidepressants.”

Antidepressants. Actually turned out really well.

I was lucky to have minor side effects that faded after I got used to the medication. Feeling more like myself these days.

– Phlarix

9. “I was bullied to the extreme.”

I wasn’t able to finish middle school because I was bullied to the extreme. So badly that the police were involved due to the fact that my bullies were calling me, sending me messages encouraging me to kill myself. I was 13.

They called me every name in the book…lesbian, fat, ugly, loser (pretty much every lame name calling you could label someone). They even had a website that was sent around my school with a comment forum of kids talking pure smack about me. Had photoshopped pictures of me, making fun of my body, my face, the fact that I didn’t have “boobs” yet.

I finished the rest of my school year at home and spent my entire teens/early youth absolutely petrified of what people were thinking about me/saying about me. I was different, a Tom boy who loved sports and didn’t care about wearing pretty dresses or hanging out with the popular crowd.

Anyways as I grew older, I made a point to start putting myself out there (ran for student council in university, moved to a new town, travelled solo) and realized how strong of a person I really was! And the people that picked on me were really just jealous of the fact that I was free-spirited and didn’t care about being popular. For some reason when your younger, kids will pick on you for being unique or “different”.

I’m 30 years old now, 5 months away from marrying the man of my dreams, worked hard in university, have a job I love and have a small amazing group of friends. I also seeked some counselling after all that, but ultimately it came down to challenging my boundaries and putting myself in situations that I would have normally shy-ed away from. Once I started doing that, life was golden and blossomed into something i couldn’t have even dreamed of.

– CranberryCiders

10. “Stop agreeing with the thoughts that tear you down.”

Yeah, used to spend all my time hating and punishing myself. Then I took up Buddhism for a while, learned about self esteem and self love and have slowly been getting better and better at it. I am still sometimes a bit hard on myself, but other than that, I’m good to myself and like myself.

The gist of it is you realize there is something good about everyone and you start to give yourself realistic compliments based on that. Stop trying to be better than or worse than others and start trying to make yourself and others feel good, while still being honest.

You also have to abandon excessive use of comparative, judgmental, ego based thinking.

For instance: You would say to yourself “I like your eyes, they look pretty (to yourself)” not “My eyes are better than 70% of eyes, her eyes are worse than mine!”

Comparing is a losing game. At the very best, you end up with a giant ego and act like an asshole to people.

Also, avoid absolutes, since they will always be disputed by reality. So for instance you can say “I look pretty handsome today” or “I often look handsome”, but you wouldn’t want to say “I am fucking handsome!”, you don’t want to treat it as an absolute fact. Because you know what, there’s going to be some day when you look like shit, and then it’s going to shatter the absolute belief you had.

Another example is with intelligence, believing “I’m smart”, means that you sort of panic when you are stupid, because it flies in the face of your belief in yourself. So instead say “What I did was smart!” or “I am often pretty intelligent”. Whenever you deal in absolutes you build an identity that will constantly get shattered when something challenges the truthfulness of it. Basically you don’t want to dilute yourself.

Also, you’ve gotta stop agreeing with the thoughts that tear you down. Dispute them when they arise, if possible.

– MettaMorphosis

11. “Break it down into chunks.”

Treat your self esteem like a project and break it down into chunks. Then start working on those chunks and get slightly better at them.

Don’t like the fact that your a lazy piece of sh*t that sleeps in every day? Well start going to bed earlier and waking up later bit by bit each day.

Don’t like the fact that you’re fat? Well start eating healthier and working out by changing small aspects of your daily routine.

Don’t like the fact that you don’t have any hobbies? Well start googling some easy cheap hobbies to pick up and try them one at a time.

P*ssed off about being single? Well actually this part comes last. It’s the last piece of the puzzle and you only start this part once you’ve worked on the others.

Don’t think about the fact that this will take months or even years. If you think about that you will fail. Just promise yourself you are going to make simple changes every month and yourself accountable to those changes. Eventually you will get there.

– bombayblue

12. “A lot of therapy helped.”

I’m still not all the way there, but my self esteem has improved a lot.

A lot of therapy helped, and overall putting a lot of effort into improving my mental health and being more self-compassionate.

Improving severely low self-esteem takes a lot of time and work but it’s worth it.

– probprocrastinating1

13. “I took an honest look at my expectations.”

I took an honest look at my expectations for what I thought I (and others) should be, and realized that my metric was unrealistic.

Go at your own pace, and be kind. You don’t need to understand the motivations of others to be empathetic. Evil breeds evil, an eye for an eye and the world goes blind.

Religion has been a double edged sword. A shallow understanding made me prideful and judgmental. My sense of worth was “I am better then you because XYZ” now I understand to keep my eye focused on improving, not tearing down. To do what is the best interest of others. To be gentle, to listen and to nourish their soul. I must walk my path, and you, yours. It’s not my place to decide who is right or wrong, or to needlessly fight or be divisive.

To answer briefly, I abandoned the notion that the worth of a human should be based on what they cannot control, or that the value of a human should be measured by subjective metrics like the ones society enjoys. People (and myself included) just are.

– PlsSeekPeace

14. “Walking around naked.”

This one is going to sound weird and I’m not sure if your self-esteem issues are body-related but….. as a person who has suffered from an eating disorder, walking around naked has helped. Doing things in my own skin and nothing else made me more comfortable with my body. Seeing it naked in a mirror while doing things. Everyday normal things. Truly weird but it normalized it for me – how it looked, how it moved, how it felt. In some ways I even like it now.

Also recognizing that the way we think we should be or look or act, how we define success or beauty – those are simply stories, shaped by culture. You have the power to change the narrative you tell yourself. I hope you find the help you need.

– gicj1017

15. “I ski pretty well.”

I’m trying. I’m not hideous, I ski pretty well, I got dance moves for days, and I work hard.

– NotYourSnowBunny

If you’re struggling with this sort of thing, just remember, you don’t matter any less anyone else. We all deserve dignity and happiness.

What are your thoughts on this topic?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tips on How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem appeared first on UberFacts.

What Happens if You Refuse to Let a Cop Search Your Car? 11 People Weigh In.

Most of us like to think that we know our rights when it comes to police procedures. We know we don’t have to talk without a lawyer, and we know that we can refuse things like searching our vehicles and breathalyzers in the field.

Do you know what happens after you assert your rights, thought?

I wasn’t sure, but after reading through these 11 responses, I feel a little bit better prepared in case this ever happens to me.

11. I don’t think should be what happens.

I was repeatedly pulled over by the same officer in the same spot without any real reason for 2 weeks when I was a teenager.

The first time he said he should search my car but was letting me off as a warning and only ticketing me for loud exhaust (35 dollar fine).

Two days later he pulled me over again and immediately asked me to get out of the car so he could search it. I told him I didn’t consent to a search and he said my car was all the justification he needed. The car was a partially stripped out for drag racing Camaro Z28 and only had my backpack and registration in it. The officer decided to rip out the remaining interior pieces breaking the clips and throwing them in the grass. He finished his “search” half an hour later and told me he didn’t want to catch me in his neighborhood again. I live .5 miles from where this happened, so I do have to drive here every day.

The next day he did the same thing. I was driving the speed limit home from school and he pulls me over again. He tells me he warned me about driving in his neighborhood with my loud car. I said my car was legal and passes inspection and is my only car, so I will keep driving it. He decides this is justification to rip apart my interior again. This time he pried the speakers out of the doors and radio out of the dash for extra measure and drove off when he was done without saying a word.

I was pretty depressed with how I was being treated. This officer obviously had no interest in being reasonable and wanted to punish me for some perceived grievance I had caused. I told an officer friend I had about what was happening and he just told me to take down the officer’s badge if he did it again.

the next week I was pulled over again and I had not put my interior back together from the last time he searched it. I immediately asked why he pulled me over and asked for his badge number rather than letting him get the first word in. He responded with his badge number and said he was pulling me over for ripping down his road. (Speed limit was 40, I was doing 35 to try to stop this madness) He then proceeded to say that my messy interior was justification to search my car again and he proceeded to rip through it again for a third time.

At this point I was just tired of dealing with it. I called my friend at the department and gave him the badge number of the officer. My friend immediately said not to worry about it happening again.

The same friend offered to help me get my car back together and brought Starbucks for me at the next car club meetup he came to. The guy was a car enthusiast and since the meetup spot was where he was supposed to patrol he would come hang out most weekends. The harassment did stop, but I did lose most of my trust of police then. I have worked with the police professionally in the past few years, but I still have a healthy fear of the police.

10. This is one wild ride.

The story starts about two hours before I got pulled over. I’m living in an apartment building and my upstairs neighbors are terrible human beings -like “throwing fireworks off the balcony at 11pm, or 2am even sometimes”, type of human beings. They sucked.

One night about 3am, I’m just getting up for work and someone buzzes my door. The speakers didn’t work at the time, so I couldn’t ask who they were. I’m not the type of person to just let anyone in to my building, so, being on the first floor and just two doors down from the entrance, I went out to see who it was. I expected to find one of the dog owners I know there. Instead I found a young woman I didn’t recognize, who told me she’d been visiting someone in the building, went out for a smoke and locked herself out. They weren’t answering but they might have fallen asleep so maybe they didn’t hear, so she just hit every button on the panel to try to get buzzed in. Fine. She looked harmless enough, so I let her in.

She goes upstairs and I get back to my morning routine. Half an hour later there’s a knock on my door. It’s the girl. She needs a ride home, she says. She and a couple girls she knew had been partying with my upstairs neighbors, the assholes I mentioned earlier. The guys had been trying to set something up, I guess. She alluded to it being sexual, but said she wasn’t into it, so they waited for her to go have a smoke and then locked her out of the building because she was “no fun”. Since I had actually gone to the front door instead of just buzzing her in, she knew which floor I’d been on, and knocked on all the doors til she found me. Totally not weird at all, right?

So I don’t know what this girl’s all about, but she seems a bit drunk, a little upset, and she’s inside my building, and knows which door is mine. I’d lived there a couple years already, but I didn’t want any trouble with management because I’d lost a job semi-recently and they had done me a real solid on my rent til I got back on my feet. I needed this over, preferably quietly, but I’m not about to call the cops on her because she’s done nothing wrong.

So at that point there’s really nothing for it but to give her a ride. I ask where she lives, and I know the area. Bad neighborhood, but good people live in bad neighborhoods too, and it wasn’t too far out of my way, so I agreed. I told her to wait outside for me and I’d be out. We left at about 4:30am, early enough to drop her out of my way and still make it to work on time.

We get in the car and as we’re driving she’s thanking me profusely, telling me she didn’t know how she was going to get home without me, etc. We made small talk, she tells me her name was Angel. Okay, sure. Gradually she works her way around to asking if I’d be around in a couple of hours because she’ll need another ride to “the clinic” when it opens at 7. I asked where the clinic was out of curiosity, and she told me it was over by Wendy’s. The next building past the Wendy’s is the methadone clinic.

I’m not fit to judge anyone, and this is the Live Free or Die state, so it doesn’t really matter to me which clinic it is. I’m sorry I can’t help her out, but she said this ride was help enough anyway. Cool. So we get to her place and it’s one of those really run down places where the fence is overgrown, the lawn isn’t mowed, and there’s no front door, just a gaping black hole. Not A Nice Place, but this Isn’t A Nice Neighborhood, so whatever. She thanks me, gets out, and I drive away. I make it exactly one block before I’ve got blue lights in the mirror.

I pull right over, turn off the car, put the keys on the dash, turn on the dome lights, crack the window and wait. Guy walks up, License and Registration, What are you doing here, etc. I tell him I was dropping off someone who needed a ride and now I’m heading to work. He doesn’t think that’s true, because This Isn’t That Kind Of Neighborhood. He thinks I was buying drugs, or maybe sex, from the girl he watched me drop off, and he wants to search the vehicle.

Now. I’m not exactly a strident civil rights advocate, but I don’t talk to the police under almost any circumstances. I’ll cooperate with them and be nice and sweet while they write me a ticket for a moving violation, but I’m not consenting to a search without a warrant. Especially not when I’ve JUST had a stranger in my vehicle for about 15 minutes, in the dark, who I know to have had dependency issues with narcotics, and who had been partying that night immediately before meeting her. I don’t know what she may have accidentally dropped, intentionally disposed of, or mistakenly forgotten in my vehicle, but there’s no way in hell I’m taking that chance tonight of all nights.

So I tell him I’d rather he didn’t, and he tells me that what I’d rather doesn’t really matter. I know for a fact that if he didn’t need permission he wouldn’t be asking for it, and I tell him so. He counters that he’s not asking, he’s informing me that he’s going to search my car, and I need to step out. I tell him I’m not consenting to a search, but that I’ll step out, and I do so, and I lock the door with my keys still visible on the dash.

Oh man, did that make him mad. Says I’d just bought myself a broken window. Then he spends the next couple of minutes repeating himself in different ways, phrasing it any way he can think of to tease out an affirmative answer or even acknowledgment that he can twist into my having consented. He’s also alternately trying to make it seem like this is all totally not a big deal, just something he has to do this so he can let me go, or like he thinks I’m buying or possibly SELLING drugs and that “we need to clear things up”.

That’s about when his backup arrived. I thought to myself that at least now he wouldn’t have to play both the good cop and the bad cop by himself, but didn’t say that because I wasn’t trying to agitate things any further. This guy came in heated, though. Hands on the car, hands behind your back, stop resisting, etc. I almost have to laugh now looking back because he was so over the top right from the start.

Has me handcuffed, which as I’m sure many reading this can attest, can be made to hurt if they want it to hurt, and it does. Makes me sit on the curb, which is pretty cold and wet, but so am I at this point. Then he just starts yelling, making all kinds of threats, tells me I’m going to jail, names probably every law he can think of, I doubt some of them are even real at all. Meanwhile the first guy is peering through my windows with his maglight, desperately searching for the probable cause he claimed he didn’t need. The backseat was pretty messy, so there was lots for him to look at while we’re all out here in the rain. Fun.

Now Mister Backup takes over the game of trying to get me to either consent to a search, or to believe that they don’t need my consent anyway, telling me that I’m “making things worse” on myself by making him stand out here in the rain (he, at least, had a coat. I did not.) Tells me I’m definitely going to jail tonight, they’re just waiting for a car to take me. They already had two cars there at this point, so I ask if I’m being arrested and he says he’ll “tell me what (I am) once the K9 gets here.”

By this time I’ve been pulled over for about 30 minutes or so, so it’s nearly 5:30am. I’m about to be late for work at a job I’d just recently started, sitting handcuffed in the dark, in the rain, in the cold, on the side of the road, and nobody knows where I am except for the random rubberneckers driving by. They haven’t found anything by looking in the windows and I’m not budging. I think they expected me to just give in before that. I imagine most people probably do, but most people aren’t as distrustful as I am of police, and most people hadn’t just had a stranger ask them for a ride to the methadone clinic while inside the car they’re asking to search. They seemed at a loss, so they actually did call for the K9 at that point.

We waited about half an hour for them to arrive. I was left on the curb in the rain, in no jacket, exposed to the elements in 45 degree weather. The K9 shows up and he’s a Very Professional Pupper but I can tell he’s A Good Boy deep down, and he proves it by deciding not to sit when his handler repeatedly and blatantly tries to signal him to do so. He spends a good 5 or 10 minutes leading him around and around my car trying to get him to hit on something. Leading him away from my car and then back to it again. Bringing him back to the K9 car, then back to my car again, etc.

Finally a Supervisor pulls up. He talks to the K9, and they pack up and go. He walks up to the other two for like three seconds, and then Mister Backup comes and removes the cuffs, calls me an a$shole, and leaves. The cop who pulled me over comes and gives me my license back, tells me I’m free to go. No apology, nothing else about it. Supervisor drives away without a word to me, don’t think he even really looked in my direction.

I’m left alone, locked out of my vehicle, in the rain. It’s 6:30, and here comes Angel walking by, finally having given up on finding a ride to the clinic. She asks what I’m doing, so I told her what happened. She felt pretty horrible about the whole thing. She went and got a coat hanger from her place and I was able to bend it around enough to hit the lock through my still cracked open window, and I drove her to the clinic in thanks. Luckily, I didn’t get pulled over when I dropped her off that time.

9. Don’t let them intimidate.

It was a pretty funny experience telling a cop he couldn’t search my car.

I was working for Amperif Corporation as a Computer Field Engineer in 1984. Our company had developed the first Cache disk subsystem for the Sperry Univac 1100 series mainframe computers which were used by government agencies all around the country. I was assigned to take care of the system controlling some of the safety systems for the nuclear reactors.

As with most of our other sites, this was a VERY high security area requiring me to have a DOE Level Q Security Clearance. This was equivalent to a DOD Top Secret, which I also had.

I’d been going through security daily for months and knew the cops on a first name basis. We often had coffee together frequently talking about firearms. It’s not fair to call these people cops. Security officials at this level of the game are highly trained individuals more akin to Army Special Forces than cops.

One Saturday, mid afternoon my beeper went off alerting me to an issue at the facility. I arrived within 15 minutes. Massive errors across the system. It was down hard. Over the next few hours I couldn’t determine the cause. I phoned my company and they sent one of their hotshots out from Chatsworth California. They had to charter a plane from Spokane, WA to Richland, WA to get him there.

I called my wife at home and asked her to make two plates of dinner as I knew the arriving Engineer would be hungry. He arrived onsite around 1:00AM. I met him at security and we went down to the computer room. He ran some diagnostics for an hour or so and thought he might know what the issue was. I asked him if he wanted to eat before beginning to which he happily agreed.

We dashed to my house to pick up the plates my wife had and returned to the facility.

We wolfed down the meatloaf, mashed potatoes with gravy, and peas. While smoking our after dinner cigarette, my co-engineer went on and on about how great it was. We finished feeding, put the plates and utensils in the trunk of the rental, and went into the facility. At the security entrance I greeted the guards. They were the two mentioned above. My greeting was met with a cold unfriendly glare.

“Follow us,” they ordered and proceeded to take us outside. They started trying to open the doors to the car and I asked what they were doing.

“Searching the car,” came their reply.

I was taken aback. “Searching for what?” I asked.

“Open the car,” came their reply.

“No, you cannot search the car.” I told them.

They went on and on using their intimidation tactics. “This is Federal land, those rules don’t apply,” was one I heard more than once. Through this, I did try to turn things friendly. I told them everything we’d done since the other Engineer had arrived. More than once I asked them, “What the heck, you know me,” which they just brushed off.

Of course I heard, “If you have nothing to hide…”

After 20 minutes of back and forth, I still held my ground. I told them the only way they were getting into that car was with a warrant. I was well aware that we were on Federal Property and a warrant would have to come from a Federal Judge. The closest Federal Judge was in Spokane, WA and it was 4:00AM.

I recall telling them just that. “You go ahead and wake a Federal Judge at 4:00AM on a Sunday Morning just so you can find plates with mashed potatoes and gravy.”

The two of them stepped away and discussed the situation. Coming back they informed us they were going to do just that. I don’t recall what the other Engineer and I did while they were waiting for their warrant. We may have sat in security but it seems we may have been allowed back into the computer room to take care of the issue.

An hour or so later the warrant came through. They had their dog and handler with them when they searched. The dog alerted on something beneath the seat.

“Aha, got ya,” one of them said with a smile.

The other engineer and I watched closely as they pulled out a small piece of meatloaf from under the seat. It must’ve fallen from my plate while we ate.

Both the other Engineer and I laughed.

The finale of the story is both guards lost their posting at the Nuclear plant.

Citizens 1: Feds: 0

8. The cops had to ask him what happened next.

I was near home and trying to get in touch with a friend to get together. Instead of driving around I decided to park and wait, and since I knew the area and didn’t want to park right in front of someone’s house, I parked on the street a few blocks away in a cul de sac that never got developed- there were plans for houses there but nothing got built. I was listening to the Jets as they were beating Peyton Manning and the Colts in the playoffs and I couldn’t have been more surprised.

A squad car pulled up and briefly flashed the lights. Officer gets out to talk to me. First thing I asked was if I was parked illegally or if anything was awry with stickers or any other non-moving violation. The officer slid past that pretty quickly and wanted to know what I was doing, but I took an extra 10 seconds to be sure that there was no violation. Then I explained what I was doing- waiting for a call, listening to the game, and parked here because it’s out of the way.

The officer asked me if it would be okay with me if he searched the car. In all fairness, he was very polite. I paused and asked him to repeat the question. He repeated it as a request, as if I was free to accept or decline. I slowly told him that I am going to decline, and although I am thankful for him being polite and professional I wish to assert my 4th amendment rights. That’s exactly what I said.

We then got into a rather dense back and forth, although it was very polite on both sides. I wanted to know if they had reasonable suspicion, and both officers were unwilling to answer the first 3 or 4 times I asked. I reiterated that there was no moving violation and also no parking violation or any other violation, so they would need to have reasonable suspicion in order to even detain me. I also asked if I was being detained, and one of the officers reassured me that I wasn’t being arrested. I said I know that and thank you, but being detained is different from being arrested. For example- and I think I know the answer- am I free to go? I was not free to go, which is what I expected and I said so. At about that point I was asked to define reasonable suspicion, and I said it was a strictly law enforcement term that’s covered in the first week at the academy. Also it’s something that you need to have in order to legally detain someone, and for all intents and purposes you can give almost any reason for it. The only thing that can cast doubt on it is when you repeatedly refuse to say that you have it when asked about it, or if you say that the basis for it is the assertion of the 4th Amendment in and of itself.

One of them eventually told me that they had reasonable suspicion, and he gave me a brief explanation even though I had told him I didn’t need one- I only needed him to say that he has it. We then got back to the matter of whether they were going to search my car. I repeated the assertion of the 4th Amendment, but I gave them a bit of an out- I said I will assert it in a provisional manner, which is to say I assert it insofar as it legally prevents you from performing the search against my will. If the search does happen it won’t be because I gave it up voluntarily- it will be a non-optional search because you decide it’s mandatory and that you are able to make it happen.

At that point they actually asked me what was required in order to make it happen. I told them that’s not my decision to make, that’s literally your decision. If you think you have the goods and can give the order, I will follow the order- I do understand that it may or may not be according to procedure or entirely legal, but I also understand this is not a courtroom and I will not attempt to litigate anything at this time. Just remember that litigation is very possible at a later time, and the legality of a potential search may be reviewed by a judge. Also if you do find something and the chain of evidence is messed up, you’ll have egg on your face and you’ll also lose a collar. I compared it to a situation where you arrest someone without mirandizing them. You can do this. No one will stop you in the moment. It will come back to bite you though, and you’ll wish that you did it correctly.

With all that being said, I assert my 4th Amendment rights but I promise I will follow orders if orders are given, and once again thank you for being professional and very very polite. So it’s your decision now- can you search the car under the circumstances?

They decided that they could, and they did. Once they made that decision I did cooperate- immediately exited the vehicle unlocked the doors and asked where to stand. One officer searched while the other asked me about the football game- I bet Manning is lighting it up, he said. I really was listening to the game though and I gave him an accurate update up to the drive that was in progress.

They didn’t find anything and that was pretty lucky for them. It wouldn’t have gone great for them if we had to litigate that. One of them did tell me that was the first time they’d made a search in a similar situation without finding something- which makes me wonder how well they’d been following protocol up to that point. After all that they actually got a little rude as they sent me off, telling me that I should park somewhere else and get away from there. I said I just came up clean and I can legally park here, also I don’t want to go driving off right in front of you because it would be so easy to give me a ticket as soon as I start moving. They told me just get out of here. I asked if they were going to invent a reason to pull me over. They didn’t really answer.

I did pull away and they did not pull me over. I guess they really didn’t want me parked in that area. We did have an extremely detailed exchange pertaining to legal matters though, and I’m sure they went over that with other people in their department. I do hope they were able to get their procedure straightened out. There’s a lot to it, and although I do think they played dumb to some extent on order to keep me talking, they didn’t reach a great conclusion by the end of it.

In hindsight, that wasn’t the best move for me because I really had nothing to hide. This is a wet dream for someone that Does have something to hide though. I would have been pretty okay if they had turned something up. For anyone that may have something to hide at some point, it may not be a good idea to demand a warrant- that just might happen. Your best bet might be to see if you can bait them into an illegal search after you asserted the 4th Amendment. In my situation though, I should have said you need a warrant for that. I knew better and I basically let them do it, even though it wasn’t done the right way.

7. You need to carve out some time.

I have shared this story before but it fits this question perfectly because it happened to me. I was driving a truck at the time and had just got in from a long day from Phoenix. I was in Ontario, CA and it was about 2:00am.

Apparently I had a headlight out. Our yard was behind the Ontario Airport and all commercial. It was a ghost town so when the car heading towards me flipped a quick U turn so I knew he was pulling me over. I had no idea the reason at the time. He let me know though. I had a headlight out. OK, no big deal. My eyes were red from driving and being tired.

After telling me about my headlight and asking for my ID he mentioned my eyes. I told him I was tired. He was very friendly and asked if he could search my car. I said I wanted to get home and go to bed. Some more chit chat and he asked again. Once again I said no and told him I had about a 30 minute drive home and it was late so no. I just wanted to be on my way and thanks for letting me know about my headlight.

It was then that his tone changed. I told him he couldn’t search my car since he didn’t have probable cause. He told me he would get a search warrant. I told him to go ahead and wake up a judge to sign it and then he was free to search the car. He said there were people on duty to sign them. I said well then call. (I was tired but in that kind of mood).

Next he used the line about getting a dog to search for drugs. I told him that he was only allowed to detain me as long as a normal traffic stop would take and we were past that time but since I wanted to cooperate I would wait for the dog but I was going to get back in my car and sleep until the dog got there. After about another 1/2 hour or so he woke me up and told me I was free to go. I asked if the dog had cleared me and he said the dog was tied up with another call so he was just going to issue me a ticket for the headlight. I said there was no need for the ticket, I would have it fixed the next day. But he still gave me a ticket which just meant now I would have to get it signed off after the repair was made. Just a little inconvenience for me.

After a little over an hour I was on my way home. And my car was drug free. I could have just let him search and saved a lot of time but I decided to be a rights fighter that night. Sometimes it’s good to let them know you know what your rights are. It helps keep them honest.

6. Just say no…peacefully.

I am fortunate in that all of my interactions with the police have been peaceful. Not necessarily friendly, but peaceful.

Every time I’ve been pulled over they ask, and I used to say I didn’t care figuring it would move things along faster. I was younger and dumber then.

I have a pretty good specific story from 2015 that comes to mind. I am from a recreationally legal state, and my license plates reflect that. For the first few years we were the main legal state (of 2) and so our plates were an instant red flag. I was working in southern Illinois, in an area that self identified as more Kentucky than Illinois. But was spending a weekend exploring Chicago. After a couple nights sleeping in my car in a hipster neighborhood near the Loop, I was driving home the last night of the weekend, but state patrol decided it pertinent to delay me. Shortly before I got out of town on one of the myriad highways in the area, they lit me up.

We’ll preface the rest of this with the fact that their prejudice and misguided attempt at LE probably saved me from a DUI as I had had some fun earlier that evening while walking around downtown. They pull me over and check my ID and insurance and registration which are spotless. Ask me what I’m doing and where I was going, and am nothing but honest. He says he wants me to come over and sit in his car with him and talk a little more. I comply because again, stupid kid.

He asks how long I’ve lived in the state and I preclude that ticket (failing to change residency in a timely fashion) by informing him that being a seasonal employee, especially for the Department of Agriculture, I am immune to residency laws unless I should move to Illinois permanently. During a relay of the same honest story including summary of the fun times I had in Chicago with some details omitted to cover my ass, another cop pulls up. It is apparently unheard for a townie from Colorado to want to have a fun weekend exploring the wonders of Chicago, and yet not know anyone in the area.

He decides he doesn’t buy my story and therefore needs to search my car. I deny their request, which is a red flag to LE, and they tell me it’ll be over a lot quicker if I let them. I inform them that they won’t find anything anyway, so it’s faster if we don’t waste the time, matter of fact. “We already have a k9 en route, so it’s gonna save you a lot of trouble if you let us know what you have now, rather than after the dog finds it” “what, pray tell, will the dog find? I told you there is nothing” “we’ll go easier on you if you tell us what you got” same drivel a few times over.

The k9 unit shows up and so, for my own safety of course, they have to put me in the back of the original cop car while the dog does its pass. They run it around the car checking about 8 points with a quick bark from the dog at each station. They do it again but have the dog jump up each time and again, same behavior as the first time. No single pause from the dog was any different from the others. They put the dog away and come tell me he alerted at the rear driver’s side and the passenger side of the trunk. I was of course skeptical because from my vantage there was no distinction for any point. Now they’ve made up probable cause so they can go through my car despite any actual cause.

They say it should be pretty quick if theres nothing of interest, is there anything they should be worried about etc. I let them know there isn’t besides wasting our collective time (mine being more valuable, as they are hourly). “Well why would the dog alert if you haven’t anything?” “I don’t know, but I don’t believe the dog did alert he barked the same every time.” “Well you didn’t see what we see the officer is highly trained blah blah blah lies and technicalities” so they can remain in the right. I tell them to go quickly.

Here’s the part that really gets me: they kept asking where all my traveling money was, where do I keep my cash, that kinda thing. I tell them I mostly use my card because it is the modern day. But say I had some cash, what amount would qualify for them to rob me on unconstitutional asset forfeitures laws, especially when they have already decided I’m guilty and just need a hair of proof.

They also were highly confused that my hiking boots and bag with clothes and water and some snacks was in my trunk if I was in the large flat metropolis of Chicago. That was 1) always in my car because you always need to be ready for a hike, 2) was the best I could wrangle for a bugout bag because everyone should have a go bag ready in their car at all times and I was a poor seasonal. After a few idiotic questions about possessing a jug of water and hiking clothing they remind me that if they find anything even just a flake of marijuana I am busted. It’d be better if I just told them now. There hadn’t manifested a thing to share since I appeared in the back of the car and informed them as much. I even had some of that energy goo runners and hikers carry in my hiking bag that was questionable enough to bring to my attention and ask what it was and why I had it. I told the officer what it was and he asked, dumbfounded, “Are you a hiker?” “I work on a trail crew you moron we’ve been over this”

After over 45 minutes since the search began they finally conceded that I didn’t have anything and let me on way. In all, over 90 minutes wasted all night and because they were so determined on a drug bust they failed to check for anything else and probably could have nabbed me.

Long story short cops need probable cause or consent, and when it isn’t present they will manufacture it. They will search you if they want to.

5. You never know what other people left in your car.

This happened about 7 years ago. My right headlight had just gone out and I was driving home from a friend’s house. I am not alone in the car. I’m driving three of my friends. One, we’ll call Al, who was a scruffier, older guy – about in his late 40s. The second, we’ll call Travis, who is a 17 year old minor at the time of this incident. The third person, we’ll call Josh. Josh is in his late twenties and a little older than me, the driver.

I feel like it’s important to note that I am the designated driver in this scenario. I am the soberest person in this vehicle, with the exception of Travis (who had nothing to drink but didn’t have a license). I am driving each of the occupants in my car to their homes.

As soon as I pass the police vehicle on my right, I know instantly that he’s going to pull me over, as I had discovered that my light was out only three days earlier. As expected, I see the flashing lights appear in my rear view mirror and pull over to the side of the road. Almost immediately after he stops his car, another cop car appears behind him and at this point my heart is racing but I put on a brave face and roll down my window.

As officer 1 gets out of his car, Josh, who is sitting in my back seat, goes full idiot and begins to lick the window, laughing as he does so. Sadly, Josh isn’t trying to piss me off – this is just how he is. Of course, Officer 1 sees him licking the window and gives me a “look.” I manage a strained smile and tell him, “I’m sorry, sir, he’s had a bit to drink.”

We go through the usual process, I show him my license, my app with my insurance on it (USAA doesn’t send out paper insurance cards), he walks me to the front of the car to show me the busted headlight and we’re exchanging normal banter, nothing to worry about. Just as I’m thinking I’ll get home tonight with out any issue and with just a fix it ticket, F***ing Josh begins to lick the damn window again.

Officer 2 sees this and looks at Officer 1. They both look immediately at me and do typical cop poses (one has his arms crossed, two has his hands on his belt). Officer 2 says, “do you mind if we search your vehicle, ma’am?”

I’m dead. I know for a fact Josh has marijuana on him and I’m also positive that Al has paraphernalia on his person, not to mention the rest of the alcohol in his bag (read: open container). If I’m not going to jail tonight, they are for sure. I had one job to do – just get these dumb asses home from the party and I failed.

I take a breath and do my best to look like I’m considering their question. Maybe 2 seconds have passed. I say in response, “that sounds like it could take a little while and I’ve really got to get these guys home soon. I work with all of them and we all have to be at work by 6 AM tomorrow morning (a half truth – we did all work together but none of them had to work in the morning). I really don’t have time for a search.”

I hold my breath. They exchange a look, shrug and say, “Ok, have a nice night, ma’am.” Then they both get in their cars and I get back into mine and we drive in opposite directions. Everyone in my car has over heard this exchange and they are looking at me with eyes as wide as saucers, like they’ve just seen the greatest magic trick in the world.

4. At least they paid up.

My freshman and sophomore year of high school I lived in a small town in northern Arizona. I drove a 77 Camaro Z28, kitted out for drag racing. I’m not exaggerating when I say these small town cops pulled me over twice a week, for about 3 months. The funny thing is, I got pulled over for speeding all the time, even though I was never actually speeding when the cop pulled me over. I’ll be the first to admit I drive that car like I’m on a racetrack sometimes, but every single time they pulled me over I’d actually been going the speed limit. Yet when I was speeding, they were nowhere to be seen. Anyhow, my first time getting pulled over was for not having a license plate light. I explained to the officer that the car never had one to begin with, and that I assumed it would be grandfathered in. After all, there was a man down the street from the spot that he’d pulled me over that drove a Ford Model T, and it didn’t even have turn signals.

He wrote me a fix it ticket anyway, and I just bought an aftermarket light and installed it. The next week I get pulled over for “excessive acceleration” which definitely isn’t a thing, but the cop gave me a warning so I didn’t get too heated about it. Later on that week, I’m driving to a buddies house and notice that a cop is behind me. I generally prefer to avoid small town police because I drive a Camaro. So I turn onto a side street, cop turns to follow me. So I turn again, again, and precede to keep randomly turning to try to get this cop off me. I obeyed all traffic laws, and this goes on for about 20 minutes before he pulls me over. He then writes me a fix it ticket for not having TWO license plate lights. I explain to him that I’d already gotten a fix it ticket for not having one, he said the law is 2, writes me a ticket. So I go to Walmart and buy one of those reading lights that clip onto a book and just clip it to the license plate and call it good.

Next week, my brakes go out so I replace them. I get pulled over for not having brake lights, I realize that whenever I adjusted the pedal, I moved it back a bit too far. On older cars and trucks the brake pedal hits a button attached to a rod in the floor that activates the brake lights. So I take the valve cap off one of my tires and put it on the end of the button, ask the cop if my lights are working now, he says yes, I go “so you still gonna write me a ticket?” He laughs and goes “yep”. The next week, I’m with my friends and we get pulled over yet again. The officer explains to me that he’s citing me for the law that says you’re not supposed to have more than 1 person under the age of 18 in your car until you’ve had your license for 6 months. It was literally 3 days before I would’ve had mine for 6 months and I’ve never heard of anyone actually enforcing that rule. The cop tells me that because I have a 14 year old girl in the car, he needs to search the car. The girl was a freshman who was dating my buddy, who was also a freshman. I explain that to him and he says he still needs to search my car.

He then asks for my parents number. I explain to him that I am an emancipated youth, and that I never had parents, I grew up in foster care until I chose to become emancipated. He then starts pressuring me and being a straight up jerk like “where are your parents?” “Well what’s wrong with you why didn’t your parents want you” crap like that. I refuse to let him search my car because there was an open bottle of alcohol in the trunk. Let me explain before you assume it’s the usual teenage antics – as I said, my Camaro is fitted for drag racing. And this was when I was a bit younger and didn’t have as much money, so my car had an alcohol carb. The carburetor used alcohol to burn faster and accelerate the car faster.

That’s all the alcohol was ever used for. But I knew the officer wouldn’t buy that, so I refused to let him search my car. He kept trying to pressure a yes out of me and I kept insisting no. Eventually he just writes me a ticket for having too many kids under the age of 18 in my car. A bit later, I get pulled over for doing 40 in a 35. I had just gotten my car painted and gotten new rims, I had just picked it up from the shop maybe 15 minutes ago. It had rained earlier that morning, so the side of the road was all muddy. I was so excited about how great my car looked and not wanting to dirty it up already, so I keep driving for maybe a half mile until there’s a paved area to pull over. I pull over, and the officer takes my information.

He then states that he is considering giving me a ticket for evasion since I didn’t stop right away. I told him that citizens may pull over where they please as long as they make it clear to the officer that they will pull over. I left my turn signal on and drove slowly so the cop knew that I’d seen him and wasn’t taking off. I should also mention that I was in the middle of fixing the window motor at the time, so my window didn’t roll down, so I had to open the door to communicate. Then 2 more cops roll up. I had my buddy with me, who at the time was going through a legal battle for “sexually assaulting” a kid on our wrestling team.

(Spoiler alert, all he’d done was hit the kid in the nuts after the kid five starred him, and he’d go on to be cleared of all charges) so the cops start pushing really hard to nail us for anything they could. They ask to search the car, I decline. They state that because of my “present company” they have probable cause. I insist that they don’t and that I will not consent to a search. They do the whole good cop bad cop routine, and it doesn’t work. Then the officer goes “hey my dog is bored so I’m gonna let him run around your car” sure buddy. He’s “bored”. That was just their way of getting to search me with a K9. I wasn’t worried because I didn’t have anything to hide.

Then the dog literally jumps up onto the hood of my car. Onto my $5,000 paint job that I’d worked my ass off for that was literally a single day old. I poke my head out the door, still sitting down, to say “hey man can you please keep him off my car”. I felt like crying because I worked so hard for that paint job and it looked so good and the dog left deep scratches in the hood. As soon as I poke my head out the cop goes for his gun and screams “get the f*** back in the car stop showing aggression!” So my buddy and I are freaking out because we just had a gun pulled on us.

The third cop there was a lady and seemed much more calm, so I politely ask her to please get a supervisor out here. She informs me that she is a supervisor. They pack up the dog and write me a ticket for 40 in a 35, and that was that. The next day, I get pulled over for 37 in a 35. Literally 2 miles over the speed limit. Cop gives me a warning, and I drive straight to the police station. I walk in and request to speak with the police chief. I hear “What’s up Toni?” Little did I know, one of my youth leaders from church was in fact the police chief.

I knew he was a cop, but I was unaware that he was the chief for our town. I explain to him that his officers pull me over twice a week for the dumbest things, and how they have even followed me around for 30 minutes trying to find something to pull me over for. I explain to him how I’d just gotten my car painted and he knew how much I loved that car because we talked about it in church all the time. He gives me some paperwork to fill out about the incident and takes some pictures of the damage. He promises me that it will stop, I walk out and go home.

Until the day I moved away for college, I was never pulled over in that town again. Even better, a few weeks later, I got a statement in the mail that I could take to the shop that had painted my car that instructed them to repair the paint and bill the city for it. Needless to say, I got the paint fixed and got 2 race stripes added free of charge, at least, free of charge to me.

3. Cops like to push the envelope.

Me driving a delta 88 with a 455. My roommate is in the front passenger seat. Three neighbor guys riding in the back. At least one under age drinking from the party we are leaving. Exhaust a turbo muffler with a glass pack to resonate on this big block muscle car. Running some curves and hills. Really making some speed and noise. Come up to the top of a hill where I know just over the top is a 4 way stop on a downslope that is hard to stop at. So I slow going up the top of the hill before cresting. As I coast down the other side and stop at the sign I see a state trooper sitting at the bottom of the hill. No biggie as I was out of sight for anything I did do, the car was legal, and I was below the speed limit when he could see me. As I pass him he pulls us over.

The trooper asked for my License and registration, no problem. I ask what i have been stopped for. He says speeding. Really. So I ask him how fast I was going and if he can show me the radar. He says he knows I was speeding from hearing my driving. I literally start laughing. Now he’s pissed. So he asks for everyone else’s IDs. At that point I told everyone to hold on a minute and I would take the heat if I was wrong but to not pull out their IDs. I asked him why he needed theirs as they were not the driver. I asked him if he had probable cause, if they looked like anyone wanted or with a warrant. This gets him really going and now he wants to search the car. At that point I refuse and ask if he sees anything in the car he can point out as a reason to search it. We go back and forth several times. When it is apparent he is on shaky legal grounds he decides to do a full inspection on the car. He finds my tailpipe is one inch shy of the center of the rear axle. I kid you not, that is what I got the ticket for. My exhaust is one inch too short.

As I leave he follows me all the way to the county line looking for me to make a mistake. Nope. So he turns around as I drive away.

I decided to stay at my dad’s that night so after dropping everyone off I headed over there and while there asked my dad – the local chief of police – what I should do. After he stopped laughing he said to just get an exhaust splice and a pipe clamp, take the receipt to the judge and the ticket would be dropped. And then he suggest I contact my uncle and tell him my story. So I called my uncle and after telling him who, when, and where, it turns out my uncle was the state trooper’s supervisor. One written reprimand later. Poetic justice.

Cost to me, $3.50.

Was I an angel in this ? No, however, the trooper exceeded his authority and legal standing with what he had to work with at the time. Was I respectful at all times, yes. A couple things worked for me in this. I spent a lot of time with my dad on patrol talking over the law and personal rights. Second, I told everyone that no matter what happened, to say nothing and keep their mouths shut. Third, I had family backing me. Only when he made a smart comment about me being a lawyer or something did I mention I was a police officer’s kid. I did not use it to get out of the ticket and paid for what needed to be paid for. He on the other hand was aggressive, threatening, attempting to instigate conflict, and placing his department in line for a lawsuit. I walked a very fine line that day and was very lucky no one made a mistake.

2. They might call in the dogs.

If the police officer is asking, it means they do not have probable cause to detain you and search you or your property for incriminating evidence. If they are intent on searching for incriminating evidence, it’s your choice to allow them and your right to deny them.

The next thing that usually happens is the officer will decide whether it’s worth their time to call a K-9 unit to come and sniff around the car while it’s closed and locked. The K-9 is trained to indicate the detection of illegal narcotics by sitting or some other indicator. More often than not, the dog will hit on a false positive, but in most states, a K-9 reaction is enough to warrant a search for illegal narcotics inside the vehicle.

A couple of things to keep in mind though;

First, cooperation with law enforcement officers will always yield more favorable results than if you offer resistance. Chances are, this guy is just trying to eliminate the possibility that the contact person has a weapon which they could use against them during the contact.

But then, consider that the officer is also only looking for incriminating evidence. If you have such evidence, you might want to hold off on letting them in. Having a pair of gloves, a tire iron and a screwdriver in the same general location are indirectly connected with someone who is involved with a burglary and such evidence is used to arrest people. Having more than one issue of National Geographic with pictures of naked indigenous children could constitute child pornography. These are items of relatively innocent possession yet a search of your vehicle could turn them against you.

Also to consider in that regard is one situation which has happened to me personally. I knew I had nothing incriminating in my vehicle and I was sure of it. I was on my way home from night classes when I was stopped and the officer told me the stop was for driving too fast for road conditions. It was late, I was doing 47 in a 45. Anyway he asked to search my car and being confident in the fact that I had nothing illegal, I told him to have at it. I handed him the keys and walked to the front of his cruiser. He proceeded to rifle through every orifice of the car, grabbing things from the glovebox and console, then scattering them across the seats and floorboard. When he got to my trunk, he dumped the contents of my suitcase all over the trunk, spilling out onto the pavement. My school backpack was treated with the same disrespect. My laptop fell out of the bag, hit the bumper and smashed onto the ground. He picked it up off the ground and chucked it into the trunk. About 15 minutes in from the initial contact, two other officers show up, which is about the time the first officer concludes his search. These two start their own search, one in the trunk, the other in the passenger area and then swap. After more than an hour, my keys and paperwork were returned to me and I was released. One of the two cops said to me before I left, that I should try to keep my belongings more organized than this, speaking about the mess that they left in my car.

I have only ever been asked to search my vehicle once and I regret not exercising my fourth amendment right. I thought I was being courteous by allowing them to trample my rights and my personal effects. From now on my only response will be to tell them they may search my car when they have a warrant to do so.

1. They always need your consent.

I was driving in Arizona about 1 hour from the California border in the early morning. The cop stopped me claiming that I was driving “erratically” (update, I think this was the correct term) not speeding. I was tired because I slept in my car in the rest area instead of going to a hotel the previous night.

He asked me to get into his car for a few questions. He was a cop from the K-9 unit and there it was a K9 behind me while I was being questioned. From that point I knew this guy was trying to bust people for drugs. He asked questions about my life and family, which seemed to be chitchat but I felt increasingly weird. I suspect he was trying to see whether I was intoxicated so played along, he got nothing on me.

After what felt like 10 minutes I felt he was trying to hold me there, so I stopped talking and asked whether I could go, and refused to answer any more questions. He then asked to search my car, I said no I wouldn’t consent to that.

Now at this point it is getting to the climax point. He said he was going to search with his K9, and he didn’t need my consent. Also he let me know that there was a cop next to his car. So this guy was actually waiting for his backup and sort of witness the entire time he was having a friendly talk with me. He then took his K9 behind my car, proclaimed that the K9 sniffed something, then proceeded to search my car.

Of course he’s got nothing, I rented the car 3 days ago and only thing his dog could’ve smelt would’ve been the snacks, not even alcohol but water. He wrote me a warning for “driving erratically” then let me go.

That led me to think, the backup cop was probably the only thing that could have prevented him from planting drugs in the rental car, he didn’t even have a camera on while he proceeded to search. Pretty scary stuff when we all think that police were not allowed to search without a warrant.

Friends and I were also stopped by police claiming the same thing in wine country Napa before, we had a laugh because we’ve only reached Napa 30 minutes, didn’t even have a chance to sip one drink or buy any bottles. But those driving behavior excuses are certainly just trying to stop and incriminate people.

Well, there you have it – now we all know.

Just in case.

The post What Happens if You Refuse to Let a Cop Search Your Car? 11 People Weigh In. appeared first on UberFacts.

Was It Wrong to Press Charges Against My Son? People Weighed In.

People love to press charges against others…

But when you do it against your own child? That’s a little strange…

But that’s what went down when a parent decided to slap some charges on their adult son, and they took to Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole?” page to see if they were wrong for doing so.

AITA for pressing charges against my son?

“My son (28) was visiting us for a couple days and was at my house alone babysitting my daughters kid.

According to my son, the other day my 4-year-old granddaughter (his niece) pulled down the TV and broke it. My son told us that he took the TV to the dump as it was shattered and useless. My daughter and son-in-law (my 4yo granddaughters parents) felt very bad for what had happened and paid the cost of the TV that day.

My husband was watching our security cameras and our son’s story doesn’t hold up. We never see our granddaughter breaking the TV. All that we see is our son taking away the TV that is not shattered. We asked our son about this and he said that the security camera must have cut out the part that shows our granddaughter breaking the TV.

Eventually I got a call from my son’s girlfriend that lives with him. She said that she knew what was going on and felt guilty. She basically told us that our son had made up the story about the TV breaking and stole it and took it to their house to watch.

I filed a police report and his girlfriend let the police into their house to get us our TV back. We do plan on pressing charges against him. He stole our TV and made my daughter pay for it. That is messed up on so many levels. AITA for pressing charges?”

Here’s how people responded on Reddit.

This person said that the parent was absolutely correct to press charges and it’ll teach the son a life lesson.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another person said that the parent was right in this situation and that the son needs a major wake-up call.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person said that pressing charges was completely warranted in this story and that the situation could have escalated even further if they didn’t do that.

Photo Credit: Reddit

But this person had a different take and said that this whole mess should have been handled in the family…

Photo Credit: Reddit

Now we want to hear from you.

What do you think about this situation?

Talk to us in the comments and share your thoughts.

Thanks a lot!

The post Was It Wrong to Press Charges Against My Son? People Weighed In. appeared first on UberFacts.

When Disasters Happen, Willie Ray’s Is There with Free Barbecue

There’s nothing quite like a feel-good story, right?

Well, here’s one that will make you feel good any day of the week.

Back in August of 2020 when most of us probably first learned that the term “derecho” more or less meant a sustained straight-line wind version of a tornado, most of Cedar Rapids, Iowa was left without power.

That’s when Willie Ray Fairley of Willie Ray’s Q Shack stepped up.

Come on out and try this Brisket Baby it’s
Brisket Friday

Posted by Willie Ray’s Q Shack on Friday, January 8, 2021

The restaurateur saw his friends and neighbors working hard to clean up the city, and he decided to cook up his entire stock and give it away to anyone who needed a hot meal.

As he told the local news station, KCRG:

“I just got my food truck and was ready to start selling, but once the storm hit I thought there might be something better to do with the food.”

Something better indeed.

Willie’s kindness went viral, and soon, people were even donating to his Venmo account to help fund his charitable mission.

“People keep donating, so we’re going to be giving out food for a long time. Even when the storm is over, cleaned up. If there’s still funds left we will continue to give.”

The country began to take notice. He even made MSNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle’s #GoodNewsRUHLES list.

The local Cedar Rapids community nominated him for a black owned business award from Discover, and he won!

Food can always bring people together. See how Willie Ray’s Q Shack used his $25,000 #EatItForward award to help make a real impact in his Cedar Rapids community. https://youtu.be/HQXQjxm9UAY

Posted by Discover on Friday, December 11, 2020

They called his work #EatItForward. There’s even a YouTube video:

It’s a really nice award, but Willie hasn’t let it go to his head.

“I would have done all this anyway and never thought anything of it,” he said. “It was how I was raised. It makes me feel good to know that people care.”

But the story doesn’t end there.

A few months later when Texas was rocked by an ice storm causing power outages to thousands, Willie called on volunteers to help him make the trek down from Iowa.

Me and the team is planning on going to Texas to help the needed. By any chance is there a couple volunteers that would…

Posted by Willie Ray’s Q Shack on Thursday, February 18, 2021

They stayed for a week, helping out the Texans in desperate need of a hot meal.

Austin’s @cbsaustin had a piece on the news about this man who came down to provide free bbq ? food to Texans in Dallas,…

Posted by Advocacy and Beyond on Tuesday, February 23, 2021

And then Willie and his team headed to Mississippi to deliver bottled water to those communities, which had been left without water for weeks after the same winter storm.

Posted by Willie Ray’s Q Shack on Saturday, March 13, 2021

Willie is a shining example of the good we can do when we pull together as a community, as well as the healing power of food.

Doesn’t that give you all the feels? Are you hungry for some barbecue now? Let us know in the comments!

The post When Disasters Happen, Willie Ray’s Is There with Free Barbecue appeared first on UberFacts.

What’s Your Favorite Creepy Campfire Story? Let’s See What People Had To Say.

I love all things spooky!

I can’t help it! It must be in my DNA!

And I really love listening to spooky stories when I’m out in the woods!

What’s your favorite creepy campfire story?

Let’s get spooky with some folks on AskReddit.

1. Missing fingers.

“There was a body of a fairly large person, once found in the woods. They were quickly killed, and there was nothing extremely off about the scene, except he had half of his pointer, ring, and pinky finger all missing from his left hand.

No one could find the missing fingers, and they never found any clues. A few weeks later, another body was found, another man who was a bit smaller than the previous guy. Same situation, quickly killed, and 3 fingers missing all from the left hand, and still no clues.

A few more weeks went by, and this time it was a woman who was found, smaller than the second guy found, same fingers missing from the same hand. This went on for a while, with the victims getting smaller and smaller, until it was kids bodies being found. One teenagers body though, only had the ring finger and pinky finger removed. The police found a fingerprint at this crime scene, and they found it matched the prints from a theft record from the previous victim.

The guy telling the story then told the kids that the killer was searching to replace his fingers, and so far, he had yet to see if the fingers of children their age would fit. He then took off his glove, showing he had a scarred pointer finger and was missing half his ring and pinky finger, and then lunged at the kids while screaming.

He later told the kids he lost the two in a work accident, and doctors were able to save his very mangled pointer finger. He told this story every year at camp.”

2. A funny one.

“There was a Brit who was driving through Ireland as the weather got progressively worse and day soon turned to night.

He suddenly realised that he was on the wrong road but there was nowhere to turn around – so he pressed on, barely able to see the road through the rain.

Without warning, his car just died. No battery, no engine. He assumed water must have shorted something and he’d best start walking.

He was soaking wet in a hundred yards but he continued walking.

An hour later, he heard a noise behind him and turned to see a car coming very slowly up the road behind him – its lights very dim.

As it reaches him he reaches out through the torrential rain and opens the back door and jumps in.

Shocked – He is the only person in the car. There is no-one driving and no other passengers. He freezes with fear as the car slowly continues up the road through the pouring rain.

Before long a village comes into view and the car creeps silently and slowly into the village. The Brit spies a pub so he jumps out and runs inside – not looking back!

Panting with horror – he orders a beer and sits down.

A minute later two soaking wet Irishmen come into the pub. The taller one points at the Brit and says “That’s him Paddy. That’s the bastard I saw jump out of the car we were pushing…””

3. The man in the corn.

“My family had one called ‘the man in the corn’, or ‘beans in the corn’.

There was once a hobo who was stealing ears of corn from a local man’s garden. Now food was hard to come by, and someone stealing that which you’re growing was especially frustrating. The man saw the hobo in the garden and fired a shotgun shot over the hobo’s head. The next day, the hobo was back there again stealing ears of corn.

The man decided he would teach the hobo a lesson so he poured all the lead shot out of his shotgun shells and filled them with small dry beans. The very next day the hobo was back in the cornfield again, and the man fired twice on the hobo, and the hobo screamed and ran down the corn rows fast pleading the whole way. The man watched for days, but the hobo was never seen again.

Some days later, the man still had ‘bean shells’ in his shotgun, so he aimed at a plank of wood standing over by his well. The plank ripped to pieces!
When the next planting seasons came, the farmer walked his corn field to its far corners, to cut corn husks and prepare to plow. Along the way, he found tiny bean plants coming up through the soil, one here, another there, all lining up to lead him to a big bunch of beans coming up along the edge of the field.

When he went to exam the bunch of beans, he first saw shoes souls turned to one side, and then the outline of a body, sank in the mud and soil. He realized he had killed the hobo, and the random beans that had fallen out of his body had sprouted along the way. My Father had bought that particular farm during the war years, and he said for 20 years, random bean plants would show up in that field.

Any bean plant that showed up in our garden was given the chance to grown, and one year there was a bean planted that wrapped around a corn stalk; my Father did not harvest the corn ears on that plant.”

4. Folk tale.

“A story I always tell around a campfire that I think is quite spooky is the legend of el silbon (the whistling ghost) it’s a Venezuelan folk tale but I have a tradition of telling it.

Anyway the legend goes that on cold dark nights in remote places especially in south america a whistle can be heard coming down the road. At first it will seem loud like its right next to you but as time passes it begins to fade and get more and more quiet until its almost gone. The trick is as el silbons whistle gets louder he’s further away and when he’s right next to you the whistle is very faint and sounds like its far away.

Once el silbon is at your doorstep he will sit down and begin to count the skulls of his victims and you have to listen to him count every single skull or one of your family members will die soon after and become one of his skulls. El silbon is said to dress like a farmer with a large straw hat, torn clothes, ghostly aura and a pale dead face. Its not that scary but its interesting”

5. In the woods.

“A group of hikers were wandering through to woods looking for a place to stay at night when they came across a small cabin.

They all decide to stay the night inside, seeing as there was no one there. Inside, the cabin is decorated with paintings of what seemed to be members of the family that used to own the cabin.

The hikers spend the night looking at the paintings and making fun of how wonky they looked. In the morning, one wakes up to see the cabin full of morning light, and looks around.

The paintings are gone, in their place, windows.”

6. Spooky.

“Here’s a creepy story to tell around the fire.

A man and his wife traveled West in hopes of striking it rich with gold, or, at worst, finding a nice plot of land to settle down on and farm.

A few months into their journey they come across the spot. A beautiful plot of land to make their new home. Winter would be coming in a couple months, so they build a hasty shack and figure they’ll hunker down there for the winter, and build a more established house in a few months when the weather is more permitting. They don’t worry, as the area is teeming with wildlife for hunting and trapping, so they figure they’ll be set for food. A couple of months go by and the winter is bitter cold and unrelenting.

They’ve finished off the last of their food stash, and they haven’t seen so much as a squirrel in weeks. They’re both slowly starving and freezing to death as they huddle in their shack, day after day with no end in sight.

The man’s wife is delirious with hunger. Fearing that they will soon be dead, he decides to go for a hunt. He musters the energy to bundle up and heads out – determined to stay out as long as it takes to find them both some food.

A couple of days pass as the man takes shelter under impromptu stick shelters – keeping warm with a campfire in the night time and hunting in the day time. Nearly frozen to death, mercifully the man spots a beautifully plump rabbit several yards away. He takes aim with his musket and bang. It’s a perfect shot. With a newfound energy the man runs home, giddy to finally feast with his wife.

What he doesn’t know is that while he was gone, his wife had discovered some tasty flesh of her own. Literally. The hunger had driven her insane, causing her to believe that her now frost-bitten finger tips were lady-finger cookies. She started off with a few nibbles here and there, slowly pulling the flesh away from her bones.

After just a couple of hours both hands were nothing but bone. So she worked her way up her arms to the elbow. The feeling of something in her stomach just continued to drive her further, until she had chewed away at every last bit of skin she could reach – culminating in her chewing off her own lips.

The husband approached the shack with his (now frozen) kill when he got an uneasy feeling. Fearing the worst, he steps up to the door and slowly opens it, expecting to see his wife’s corpse shriveled on the floor. But instead what he finds is even worse. This zombie like creature with exposed teeth and bones writhing on the floor at the sight of him, chomping its jaws with an insatiable hunger.

At that point, one of the scouts screeched for the leader to stop (which I was extremely thankful for, as it was easily the most terrifying thing I had ever heard at the age of 7). The scout leader told it with real conviction too… honestly still gives me the creeps if I go camping and happen to think about it sitting around a fire ?.”

7. Random guy.

“One year, a group of us went camping in Kearney, Ontario, where we always go camping. Whenever we go, we always form our tents in a big circle, with the fire pit in the middle of us. We’ve been drinking, smoking a few joints and a few of us were tripping balls on shrooms.

The first night we were there, this guy randomly walks into our circle, introduces himself (I can’t remember the name he gave), that he was in the military and decided to take some vacation to camp out a bit. He asked if he could join our fire, as it was getting late and he didn’t buy any firewood.

Being the friendly stoned people we are, we let him join our fire. He even pitched in some money for the firewood. The night went on and we all were having a good time.

One by one, our group started heading off to bed, me being either the 2nd or 3rd. I remember waking up to the sound of someone talking and the fire being started, it was 4 in the morning. I peeped out my tent and saw the random just sitting on a log by the fire, talking to himself.

Still tripping on shrooms, i thought to myself i am in no condition to deal with this and chalked it up to me just tripping out. I wake up the next day and everyone is still alive (thankfully) and the fire is smoldering.

We look to the next campsite, where the random was staying and it was spotless, no garbage, no tracks in the trail around the site, no nothing. We all started talking about him, just to be sure we all saw him.

Through talking, we managed to figure out that he must not have slept at all, the last 2 of our group passed out just after 330am. The first person got up just after 6am and noticed he was gone.

The rest of the camping trip went well and we all went home. Fast forward maybe 4-5 years, i flip on the news and there is a picture of someone i could swear i recognize. He was arrested for a bunch of crimes, including rape and murder. Guess who it was? It was the random guy who joined our fire, i don’t know why i remembered his face, but i guess it was just a weird situation where my brain right clicked and saved as a jpeg in my brain.

Now, i have no way of proving if it was the same guy. We didn’t take any pictures of the random, but the picture jump started my memory and made me instantly remember the weird random fire joiner. Either that, or they looked identical to the same person.

Either way, was creepy.”

8. A classic!

“A couple are driving through the woods and hear on the radio about the escaped mental patient, then the car runs out of petrol. Man decides to walk back to a garage they saw a few miles back, claims he won’t be long.

Few hours go by and he’s not back and the woman is getting sleepy. She keeps drifting off but is woken up by the rain dripping on the roof of the car and the branches scraping across it. Eventually it’s morning time and she’s woken up by the police, they ask her to get out of her car and walk towards their car but do not look back.

She gets out and starts walking towards their car and they keep reminding her to not look back. Eventually curiosity gets the better of her and she turns around. Boyfriend is hung by the legs off of a tree and beheaded. The dripping was his blood and the scratches of the branches was his fingers.”

9. The neighbor.

“One day my neighbor walked over into my backyard while I was in my garden. He looked disheveled and was wearing pajamas.

When I stood up I notice his eyes were sunken in and it looked as if he lost a lot of weight. I tried to crack a joke about how this would be a great day to go down to the beach if it were not for the weather being so cold. But the joke fell flat.

A week later I bumped into his wife at the post office. She was in line in front of me mailing about a dozen packages. I asked if her husband was feeling better because he looked a bit under the weather last week when he was in my backyard. She tells me I must have been mistaken. He past away over a month ago from cancer. The packages she was mailing were his action figure toy collection she sold online.

I was speechless. Was I crazy? Maybe I did misjudge the weekend I thought I saw him. Then I really thought hard. I did not remember him saying anything to me. I did remember telling him the joke and it falling flat. I assumed I wasn’t funny and that’s why he didn’t laugh. Or maybe he couldn’t because it may have been just his spirit.

When I returned home from the post office I immediately start telling my wife about our neighbor. Before I could get out he had past away from cancer she says “Oh yeah I saw you guys talking last weekend. And then I tell her about seeing his wife at the post office and being told about his passing. So we go to our security camera. And play back the video from the week before.

It’s clear in the video that I do stand up, it’s obvious I’m acknowledging the presence of someone and have a brief conversation. And then I go back to tending to my garden. But on the video the entire time I was the only person in my backyard.”

10. The golden arm.

“The golden arm.

A fellow is looking to be married to one of the rich merchant’s daughters to gain the the fortune that would come with her.

Fortunately the merchant had an unmarried daughter still so the fellow begins to court her. The first thing he noticed is that she had a solid gold right arm, she apparently lost it in a childhood accident and her father had a golden arm forged for her.

Seeing this as a sign of extreme wealth he continued with courting her, making her believe he truly loved her and not for her fathers money, in turn she fell deeply in love with him.

They get married and the fellow is given his riches along with part of the merchant business his now father in law owned, thus giving him more money.

However, he soon realized his wife was now of no real use, so he ignored her, gave her gifts and had dinner with her but the love he said he felt had disappeared. Angry and heartbroken the daughter accused him of marrying her for her money, in which he boldly states of course.

She was furious, screaming about going to tell her father what a scoundrel he truly was and their riches would be stripped away along with his job. This angered the fellow, after all he worked so hard to get to here, he wasn’t going to let her take it away. So he pushed her down the cellar stairs and let her snap her neck on the stone.

He plead heartbroken to the grief stricken father, losing his most favorite daughter, the fellow’s riches intact. The fellow and family hold a funeral for the daughter and weep and cry.

When it was but him and his dead wife he opened the casket and pulled out a saw, for she did not need her golden arm in the grave.

That night he slept with the arm under his pillow, not wanting even the servants to see it before he melts it down into bars. He slept soundly until a voice like the wind asks

“where’s my golden arm?”

Slow and far away the voice echoed through the sleeping house, so quite he thought it was just a draft. Until the voice came again, closer and louder this time, as it down the hall,

“where’s my golden arm?”

Sitting up the fellow looked around fearfully, too scared to do anything as he hears again much closer,

“where’s my golden arm?”

He felt a heat on his back and a movement from under his pillow, but he was too scared to look away from the door as he hears again, just outside the frame the wail of

“where’s my golden arm?”

It felt like hell fire on his back as he felt the hot metal of the hand on his back, seemly crawling on its own as he watches the door knob turn.

The maid found his body that morning, face frozen in horror and hair a bright white, hands still clutching the sheets around his body. But the strangest thing was that his dead wife’s golden arm was on his chest, hand wrapped tightly around his throat.”

Okay, now we want you to creep us out.

In the comments, tell us your scariest campfire story.

We can’t wait to see what you come up with!

The post What’s Your Favorite Creepy Campfire Story? Let’s See What People Had To Say. appeared first on UberFacts.

What’s the Worst Idea You’ve Had During a Stressful Situation? Let’s See What People Had to Say.

Some people thrive in stressful environments and some really don’t at all.

I think I fall into the latter category if I’m being totally honest about it…

But some people are REALLY bad when the sh*t hits the fan.

Folks on AskReddit admitted the stupidest things they ever thought of during a stressful situation. Let’s take a look!

1. Not the pizza!

“Forgot I had a pizza box in the oven and started to preheat, not my best moment.

Ran down after smelling smoke to see the box on fire. Instead of using the fire extinguisher right next to the oven, I grabbed the box… and instead of throwing it immediately in the sink behind me, I ran outside with it…

My hands were pretty much cooked 1/4 the way through for a few weeks.”

2. Maybe?

“A woman yelled, “Did you sleep with my boyfriend?” and my dumb *ss said “Who’s your boyfriend?””

3. Mommy!

“My dinner was in the oven and it caught on fire.

Instead of attempting to put out the fire, I took a picture of it and texted it to my mom for advice.

I was 39 years old.”

4. A time to cry.

“Happened to me in college. Had been up all night studying.

It was 7 am, had a chemistry exam at 815. Went to shower, came back, I’d locked myself out of my room. Could have a gone and gotten an RA.

But logically I sat down naked, wet, only in a towel and cried.”

5. Hey, it’s cool.

“During the initial stage of an anaphylactic shock from my nut allergy, I didn’t want to kill the vibe of the party I was at, so I told my friends I wasn’t feeling well and left.

Everyone tried to help but I insisted I was just tired.

Called 911 about 2 mins on my walk back home when I realized it was a much worse reaction that practically paralyzed me on the sidewalk.”

6. Did it work?

“My hair was getting long, hard to manage, I was also just stressed in general about school.

For some reason I associated these two things and thought getting my head shaved was the answer to all my problems.

I actually went ahead with it.”

7. Not a good idea.

“I was once in a fight. The guy ran at me to tackle me and I put him in a headlock and fell backwards. So, my back was on the ground with him in a head lock.

A huge crowd was around us. I knew if I let him go, he’d have the advantage being I was on my back. So, I started just talking to the crowd, giving a commentary, and making jokes.

It just made him super mad and go into a savage state. I learned never hold a guy in a headlock that has a free hand.”

8. Don’t do that.

“Was having a panic attack.

Tried to calm myself with some whisky.

Turns out taking a depressant to relieve anxiety only makes your anxiety worse.”

9. This is amazing.

“When I was a youngster this guy and I broke out of of jury during the night. I suggested we go to this park where there are usually people smoking weed.

Nobody was there. Just 3 dudes off to the side. We went over to talk to them and after a bit we ended up snorting heroin for the first time. We both got really sick. Vomiting every 5 min. We were both in such bad shape with nowhere to go, we figured we only had one choice.

We broke back into juvy. Never got caught.”

10. Scary.

“On my very first backpacking trip, we had a bear encounter just as we were eating supper.

There were two small cubs coming toward our campsite, when we heard mama bear crashing through the brush toward us. My (now ex-)boyfriend and I were sharing a rehydrated meal, and eating it straight from the pouch, instead of splitting it into two bowls, because I couldn’t be bothered washing the bowls.

Anyway, I’ve had the saying, “A fed bear is a dead bear,” drilled into me from a young age, and I’ve always been really good about not leaving food out where bears or other wildlife might get it. So, as I was starting to freak out about this ginormous, pi*sed off mama bear lumbering toward me.

I thought I’d better make sure she didn’t get any of our food, so I quickly started shoveling the rest of that meal in my mouth and swallowing as fast as I could.

My ex and I are still good friends, and to this day he still makes fun of me for how quickly I stuffed almost two full servings of Mountain House teriyaki chicken and rice down my throat because I was afraid the bear would eat it.”

11. SPENIS.

“When I was in high school we had to complete a notebook full of work and get it graded. It was time to hand them in and my friend wrote PENIS on the front cover!

I panicked and wrote an S in front of it to spell out SPENIS. I’m glad my teacher had a good sense of humor.”

12. Dynamic duo.

“My kitten started choking and my family didn’t know what to do.

I said “should we do mouth to mouth?” and my dad leaned forward to do it but then stopped and realized that you don’t do that on a choking person.

So at least I wasn’t alone in my stupidity.”

13. Fire!

“When I was a kid I was playing with matches in my room. I started a small fire and began to panic.

My solution?

Direct the air from my fan towards the fire to blow it out. You can imagine how that went…”

Have you ever had a really bad idea during a stressful moment?

If so, we want you to tell us about it in the comments.

Please and thank you!

The post What’s the Worst Idea You’ve Had During a Stressful Situation? Let’s See What People Had to Say. appeared first on UberFacts.

Hairdressers Share the Things You Should Stop Doing at Your Appointments

Even if you love your hairdresser, who maybe even calls them a friend, there’s a good chance you’ve been uncomfortable in that chair a time or two. It’s an odd relationship, or power dynamic, or something.

If you’re wondering if you do something that’s weird or wrong under the cape, these 16 hairdressers are letting it all hang out.

And listen. They’re also going to tell you the things you’re doing right.

16. Be honest.

Just be honest! I have plenty of clients who like to bring a book or their laptop, or even just chill quietly while I’m doing their hair & I appreciate those folks just as much (if not more so sometimes) than the talkers.

I would say most of us try to make conversation at all costs because it’s what’s expected of us (I have known stylists who have been told they were “rude” and left bad reviews just for being quiet/reserved people even if the haircut was good, which is dumb)… but I definitely have no qualms about just being quiet & doing my thing. In many cases I would prefer it, hahaha.

15.  Just trust them.

I love it when people say do whatever you want. It’s my job then to ask questions and see what style and color would work for your life style.

I give people what I think they will maintain as well as something flattering.

14. Check your wardrobe.

I see a lot of good ones on here, but one that might not have been said is DON’T WEAR A HOODIE or a turtleneck, if you can take it off, fine but they both Get in the way a lot if I’m trying to cut/color your hair.

Also your hair doesn’t need to be dirty for me to style it. In fact I would REALLY prefer if it was clean. And it also doesn’t need to be dirty/clean/covered in coconut oil for me to color it. Just come in with normal dry hair.

13. They can’t work miracles.

My friend is a hairdresser and her biggest complaint is unrealistic expectations. People want to go from dark brown to platinum in one session, bright pink hair that never fades, amazing rainbow hair from a heavily filtered photo on Instagram….

It’s mostly about expectations e.g. if you want blue hair then expect bleach damage and split ends, be prepared to spend money on colour safe shampoo, conditioner, hair treatments, maintain it regularly, change your pillowcases, etc. Don’t blame your hairdresser if you go swimming for hours and your hair turns green.

12. Stop trying to talk over the blow dryer.

Like people have said above, have realistic expectations. Just because Sally was able to go from black to blonde in one appointment, doesn’t mean you can. Your hair isn’t Sally’s.

It’s always helpful when you bring in pictures of styles you like, and just as helpful when you have an idea of styles you hate.

Please don’t talk with your head, it’s frustrating trying to keep the tension on the hair, on a client that moves their head just as much as their mouth lol.

I also 99% time can’t hear you when blow drying, and it’s bloody impossible to have a conversation when blow drying now we all have to wear masks lol

11. Just sit still.

Lifting your head in the shampoo bowl! Don’t do that.. That’s how we end up soaking the back of your shirt!

10. There are stylists that specialize in textured hair.

Maybe this sounds harsh but: They more than likely style it straight because they don’t know how to handle textured hair, even if its “only” wavy. I worked at a curly-specialized salon where our intent was to avoid interfering with the hair’s natural texture as much as we could.

Most hairdressers are trained on straight-haired models and techniques, and will actively do things to straighten not-straight hair so it is easier for them to work with.

If you want to preserve and foster your natural texture, mention this to your stylist. but also maybe check around for places that are curly-friendly (be aware: sometimes “curly” salons specialize in things like chemical straightening, this is not what you’re looking for!)

9. Come natural.

im a barber not a hairdresser but yeah pretty much *same thing*

most things have been said already. but a couple i want to add to. washing hair is important. if you cant its not the end of the world. especially if its apart of the service you are about to get. a washed head of hair puts all hair in its natural state makes it so much easier to cut and get a better end result (this also applied with hats if you wear a hat and take it off your hair has been pushed into an unnatural position and a clipper and our combes wont be able to make it go normal)

but damn dont come in when you have a product in your hair that isnt suppose to be in your hair.
i had a client once who came in wanting a 0 fade and he said i dont want anything done to the top (when he said i had a sigh of relief). why? he seem to have styled his hair with some kind of glue. there was no way the stuff he had in his hair was for hair. even so i finished the fade didint do anything on top, i asked him all is good, he said yes all is good, but can you take some off the top just a bit? i said no there is no way thats possible with whats in your hair. he insisted that i tried, so i wet down his hair knowing it wasnt going to work (but to prove a point) and it rolled odd his hair. i did this a fair amount, and said i cant even attempt to try. and ended up telling him if i was to try it would be a lot more expensive to cover the cost of new scissors.
(also bear in mind this was during covid lockdown and at the time we werent allowed to wash peoples hair either so that was out of the question)

also children if your child either hates having his hair cut or moves a lot. dont expect a fantastic hair cut. if you really wish your child who does hate having his haircut get it done by a stranger, have something in mind that isnt a lot of work. tell the hairdresser / barber that they dislike having it done. and ask for advice on what haircut can be done that is quick and easy. and then listen to them and take the advice.

oh and dont move your head with us, we move for a reason dont move your head unless we tell you to. angles are very important, if you move while we are doing something that angle is now wrong.

8. Don’t go with dirty hair.

You’d be shocked at how just washing your hair can make a huge difference between a good haircut and a great one.

7. The pictures do help.

Make-up artist here, so not a stylist but I’ve worked with scores of them and here’s what I’ve heard: Try to find images of hair similar to yours. If you have super thick curls, a pic of someone with fine straight hair won’t do you any good.

Similarly, go in with your hair close to your natural texture if you’re dealing with a new stylist. Also, if you like a cut on a model, cover his/her face with your finger and make sure you like the hair and not the face.

Mention if something bothers you, “I hate blow-drying” “I need to be able to put it up” “My forehead looks weird” the best stylist I’ve ever worked with is also super honest with me “I can do something similar, but this exact length will give you fat face”.

Finally, ask questions. “How do I style this?” “What products should I use?” “What does the upkeep look like?”

6. It seems basic, but…

Unhelpful: moving your head all around. Lifting your head up when you’re getting shampooed.

it doesn’t help and it’ll just soak your back. Don’t wear a hoodie or turtleneck. Don’t expect a miracle color change without investing a lot of time and money. Trust your hairstylist. Lol.

Helpful: bring pictures of what you want. Try to be on time. Don’t no call no show your appointment. If you don’t like it – just be nice and to the point.

5. It’s fine to say you don’t want to talk.

Hey! I do this with my tattoo artist sometimes (and I’m a hairstylist in training, 400 hours left!!), I usually say something like “I’m not really in the mood to talk today, is it okay if we just chill while you work?” or something like that.

Any person worth their shit will respect your boundaries to their fullest capabilities while still providing excellent service.

4. Avoid controversial topics.

My wife is a stylist. Her main complaint is when clients, mostly men but some women, start spouting their political beliefs for all to hear.

It’s as if they think when they sit down in that chair, all conversational etiquitte gets thrown out the window and there are no consequences to what is said.

3. Don’t hide your mistakes.

(responding for my mother, who is one)
Helpful:
Have a picture of something like what you want done, descriptions don’t do a justice
Be 100% honest about what you’ve done to your own hair

Unhelpful:
Don’t bring filtered pics or ones that are wigs (just don’t have unrealistic expectations) Don’t move your head when you’re in the chair, only move when your stylist says so Stop insisting babies and toddlers have hair cut- it’s traumatic

2. Or at least, be polite.

I wanna add on to this as a stylist! I have no problem talking about some more ‘controversial’ topics with clients who can discuss politely. But I do have to remember that there are other clients within earshot and I have to be appropriate for them too.

So just because my client and I are comfortable, I can’t get too into these topics because I could still get a complaint from my neighbors client.

1. Find someone who likes kids.

When our daughter was very little, we took her to a salon that ONLY cut little kids’ hair. They were great, her hair looked super cute and everyone was smiling at the end. It was a little pricey but so worth it!

Well, I for one found this very…informative.

If you’re a hairdresser, what would add? Hit us with it in the comments!

The post Hairdressers Share the Things You Should Stop Doing at Your Appointments appeared first on UberFacts.

A Parent From a Wealthy Neighborhood Asked if They’re a Jerk for Ruining Halloween for Less Wealthy Families

Halloween is a night for kids to run wild and have fun with their friends…but, as you know, there’s always bound to be some kind of wrench thrown into the works whenever parents get involved.

And this parent asked if they were wrong for making Halloween not a festive night, but a real downer for a bunch of kids from another part of town.

Let’s see what they had to say and how people on Reddit reacted to the story.

AITA? for ruining thousands of kids’ Halloween and not feeling bad about it?

“I live in a large neighborhood, about 90 houses. We are what’s considered the ‘rich’ neighborhood. So our neighborhood as always been a hotspot for trick or treaters.

We used to get about 700 – 1000 kids a year, I’ve always loved getting trick or treaters because my kids are teens now and don’t trick or treat anymore. But in the last four years, it’s gotten ridiculous.

There’s thousands of kids and their parents flooding the streets, people with hay in their rigs carrying kids around, trampling yards, littering candy wrappers everywhere, and the amount of small children walking around by themselves is APPALLING. People from the neighboring town of 30,000 people take their kids to my neighborhood.

I was annoyed, but I never really did anything about it till two years ago. My daughter tripped and broke her arm (we didn’t think it was a break but we wanted to go to the er anyway to get it checked out) and there were so many people in our neighborhood, we couldn’t get out.

There were cars everywhere, lining the streets, parked in people’s yards, it was horrible. We had to wait until everyone left (about 1 am) to go to the hospital. My daughter had to wait in pain for HOURS.

At that point, I was done. I contacted the neighborhood community and we managed to get some folks (cops mostly) to stand the at the gate with a list and only let in certain people. (folks that live here, family members, friends)

If you wanted to get in, you had to be close to someone in the neighborhood. It was great, there were only about 300 kids in the neighborhood and after there was barely any trash. And, we’re doing it again this year.

I recently told my sister what I have done, and she got really angry. When we were kids, we had to trick or treat in other neighborhoods because we lived in a trailer park with no other kids. She told me I was a horrible person for ruining thousands of kids Halloween.

But honestly, I’m not too broken up about it. It was a hazard, if there was a fire or an emergency, no one would be able to get in to help. When I was a kid, there was never any cars lining the streets, the residences could get out if they wanted, it was never dangerous.

I don’t think I’m in the wrong, but I’ve always respected my sister’s opinion. AITA?”

Hmmmmm…

This Reddit user said that the parent is not wrong in the situation and that she took this action because were clearly not behaving.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another person said they deal with a similar situation on Halloween where they live, but with one big difference: there’s no littering and destruction.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This reader said that the neighborhood the person is talking about is clearly not set up for these kinds of crowds and that it’s a safety issue.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user said a similar situation happens in a neighborhood by them and it’s just too busy and crowded.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, one person said they think that this parent is being a bit of an *sshole and they shouldn’t ruin kids having a good time just because their parents are incompetent and disrespectful.

Photo Credit: Reddit

How about you?

Do you think this parent acted like a jerk or were they justified in their actions?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments. Thanks!

The post A Parent From a Wealthy Neighborhood Asked if They’re a Jerk for Ruining Halloween for Less Wealthy Families appeared first on UberFacts.