Author: Matt Gilligan

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Taylor Swift Fans Freaked out When an “Unknown Band ” Named Tool Grabbed the #1 Spot on the Charts

In very amusing (if you’re not a Generation Z kid) Twitter news, Taylor Swift fans are confessing they’ve largely not heard of popular 90s band Tool.

Tool has always had a strong, loyal following and, since they’ve just released their first album in over 13 years, it’s not hard to believe they’re most likely going to eclipse Lover, Swift’s latest, on the top Billboard chart.

Swift’s fans are not only upset that she’s only going to get to spent one week reigning the charts, but they’re awfully confused…because they’ve never heard of Tool and can’t understand how this “new” band has dethroned Tay.

Swifties have taken to Twitter to try to rally support for Lover, encouraging fans not to give up and to keep streaming, even though everyone realizes it’s probably all for naught.

The best part (if you’re a millennial or older or just someone with great taste in what can now be considered classic rock) is how they’re directing their outrage at this band “no one has heard of” for daring to release such a successful album.

They’re also (perhaps rightfully) “shook” seeing the lengths on most of Tool’s offerings.

For their part, Tool fans everywhere are pretty much delighted at the reaction – and the return of the band to the airwaves and the charts.

I mean, what fun is logging into Twitter if you can’t giggle at teenagers whipped into a frenzy over one of the great bands of your own youth, right?

Are you a Tool fan? A Swiftie? Neither?

No matter what, these tweets are pretty darn funny, if you ask me!

The post Taylor Swift Fans Freaked out When an “Unknown Band ” Named Tool Grabbed the #1 Spot on the Charts appeared first on UberFacts.

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16 Times Tumblr Just Couldn’t Let ‘Twilight’ Fade Away

Twilight was a huge success as a series of books, then movies, might baffle some, but for fans, the stories (no matter how cheesy or badly translated to film) will always hold a special place on the shelf in our hearts.

Which is why, I guess, the questions and thoughts about the stories continue to regularly show up on Tumblr.

I gotta say…I’m not mad.

16. Stupid teenagers finally got their day in the sun.

https://twilightisgaynow.tumblr.com/post/179059353399/people-give-twilight-a-lot-of-shit-but-its

15. This might be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

https://ree-duh.tumblr.com/post/185530076154/edward-so-now-that-im-marrying-bella-im-finally

14. One more reason to despise this scene.

https://farkosten.tumblr.com/post/187439695679

13. The accuracy, it burns.

https://bummass.tumblr.com/post/185075760215/bella-in-her-room-in-the-dark-at-3am-tryna-figure

12. Okay but the soundtrack is really good.

https://chonce.tumblr.com/post/165992854137/chonce-twilights-soundtrack-didnt-have-to-go-as

11. It doesn’t make for great cinema but she’s not wrong.

https://roxilalonde.tumblr.com/post/178253719572/people-hate-on-twilight-but-it-is-the-only-movie

10. I just want to make sure I’m not the only person who knows she’s a Mormon.

https://911esme.tumblr.com/post/185556258223/catintheunderground-petermaximoff

9. Now THIS is the Twilight fan fiction we all deserved.

https://thegoddesslunaxo.tumblr.com/post/170850508938/the-thing-that-pisses-me-off-about-50-shades-of

8. This is one of the better written scenes in the film imho.

https://lesbianmikewheeler.tumblr.com/post/178739641077/i-know-this-scene-is-supposed-to-demonstrate-how

7. I’ll take weird coincidences for $500, Alex.

https://tarncirque.tumblr.com/post/185002118767/id-like-to-draw-everyones-attention-to-this

6. She could have at least googled “how do I know if I’m dating a vampire,” right?

https://youngstero.tumblr.com/post/94110735627/the-funniest-thing-in-twilight-is-when-bella

5. Anyone who was Team Jacob reading the books is some kind of alien idk.

https://poppunklegs.tumblr.com/post/177036031630/cockmcstuffins-bella-was-lucky-she-didnt-have-a

4. If this is true he’s definitely the hero we all needed.

https://undereyelouisvuittons.tumblr.com/post/83007015947

3. Yep definitely going to have to click on that.

https://does-bella-like-me.tumblr.com/post/169781449629/me-twilight-doesnt-have-a-long-term-impact-on-my

2. Why would you want to, though?

https://iwantabrickbybrick.tumblr.com/post/102208893109/supermassive-black-hole-by-muse-reminds-me-of-the

1. Like yeah, sure, let’s go with that.

https://onlinepunk.tumblr.com/post/177861536942/could-you-imagine-if-edward-had-just-been-some

 

Do I think Twilight is great fiction? No. Are the movies even worse? Yes. Did I read all 4 books in 3 days?

Yes. Yes I did.

Let me know if you did, too!

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10 Memes About People Who Are Struggling With ‘Adulting’

Hello! How are you doing today?

Honestly, it doesn’t really matter. And it’s probably better if you’re not doing that great, because these memes will make you laugh. And if you laugh, you’ll feel better.

Is it a bad thing that we hope you’re not having the best day? Is that mean of us?

1. It. Never. Stops.

Photo Credit: Someecards

2. Well, that’s enough for today!

Photo Credit: Someecards

3. Gotta get small. In a ball. In my bed. Dead.

Photo Credit: Someecards

4. Those fucking group chats tho…

Photo Credit: Someecards

5. Anxiety likes to get me anxious about anxiety

Photo Credit: Someecards

6. Night!

Photo Credit: Someecards

7. Well, that’s one way to find out!

Photo Credit: Someecards

8. Oh… this made me snort!

Photo Credit: Someecards

9. Huh? Come again? What’s that? Nothing to see here…

Photo Credit: Someecards

10. That just means I’m into comfort. That’s all. Nothing more.

Photo Credit: Someecards

So fam… what did you think? We want to hear your opinion.

Let us know about the best memes in the comments! Don’t let us down!

The post 10 Memes About People Who Are Struggling With ‘Adulting’ appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Pizza Delivery Girl Shared Some of Her Most Memorable and Disturbing Customers

Pizza delivery people probably have all kinds of good stories – hopefully not of the gross or scary variety, though I’m sure those aren’t terribly uncommon.

You’re sort of let into people’s lives – or at least their front doors – on a regular basis, and as anyone who has ever worked in customer service can tell you, people consistently provide something to talk about (whether they mean to or not).

This pizza delivery girl keeps a list of her best (?) encounters on her phone, and I submit to you that they are 100% worth reading.

17. There is definitely more to this story.

 An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather classy) pearl-handled .32 snub nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to load it (I do) and also, if I could load it for her (I didn’t).

16. Just because you’re a pizza delivery person you smoke weed?

Multiple instances of people asking if I would sell them pot. (bitch get your own dealer sheesh)

15. Props to this girl for being a way better sport than I ever would be.

A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us.

He did the duck lips thing in every shot.

14. People actually do this in real life?

A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks + sandals (indoors) who straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying and shut the door.

Multiple knockings were of no avail.

13. What on earth is wrong with some people?

A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to believe my claims that I’m female.

She proceeded to snatch my driver’s license out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her children while pointing back at me.

12. I have a lot of questions for such a short entry.

A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash.

11. Yeah, no, that’s not happening.

A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door.

He then explained how this was a federal offense because I was “obstructing the mail system” and demanded my social security number so he could “report me to the proper authorities”.

10. That’s not exactly how I would expect someone to treat his daughter.

A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently was the “spitting image” of his deceased daughter.

9. Old people can be such sweethearts.

An elderly man who wrote “FUCK OFF” as his signature on a credit receipt.

8. The real question is how did she not puke?

 A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively large) booger out of his nose.

He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully, HIS copy of the receipt.

7. You’ve gotta love the smell of judgement with your pizza.

A woman who slipped me a business card (in lieu of tip) for a laser tattoo removal clinic, explaining “In case you want to bring your mutilated skin back to how God intended it to be.”

6. I hope she at least educated them on why Bud Light is a terrible choice.

A group of young teenage girls (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them.

5. Where do some people get off, I swear. If you don’t have the cash, don’t order your pizza.

A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote “get a real car” in the tip portion of my credit receipt.

4. I honestly hope he found someone to talk to.

A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he “works so hard”.

He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I couldn’t do anything.

3. I really don’t know what to say about this, but that guy…might need to find away to unwind.

A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt, specifically wrote “0.00” in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me.

It said “pizza tip” in the “For” section.

2. People just don’t want to commit to the part anymore.

At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice.

1. I would have stayed and partied with them, for sure.

A hotel room full of badass middle-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Harry Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots.

They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them.

I don’t know if I could do the job, but God bless food delivery people. I might not ever eat, otherwise.

Could you do it? How would you have handled some of these people? Let us know in the comments!

The post A Pizza Delivery Girl Shared Some of Her Most Memorable and Disturbing Customers appeared first on UberFacts.

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12 Photos That Show Why Texas and Los Angeles Are Two Separate Worlds

Texas is definitely its own world, but, truth be told, Los Angeles has its own quirks, too.

Even though they’re each unique, the two places are like night and day – a fact that these 12 images should 100% solidify in your mind.

12. This picture could have been taken anywhere in the Midwest, but yeah. Not in L.A.

It really do be like this from texas

11. There’s a LOT of space in between those places.

The 5 horsemen of the apocalypse from texas

10. L.A. gas stations bring you high prices and dirty bathrooms…

View post on imgur.com

9. While in Texas, you feel like you’re pulling into a five-star gas-pumping resort.

8. Fashion in LA is meant to make a person really think…

Average day at 7th Street Metro station from LosAngeles

7. But the clothes in TX can make you think, too…even if they didn’t do it on purpose.

Day 1 in Texas and I saw this. I am not disappointed from texas

6. L.A. poppies are to die for…

This one is actually in LA County. The poppies in the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve are starting to wake up. from LosAngeles

5. But the bluebonnets in Texas are a way of life.

My Field Of Bluebonnets from texas

4. The traffic in L.A. drives people to comment constantly via license plate.

Saw this absolute hero on the freeway this morning. from LosAngeles

3. And Texas just inspires people in general.

New license plates, y’all! from texas

2. Maybe you’d see this on a movie set in L.A….if the movie was about Texas.

Just a horse in the Sonic drive through from pics

1. I mean idk I’ve seen too much roadkill in Texas to believe people slow down for hares.

This friendly hare decided to escort us for a couple of miles in this dark country road around Carta Valley, TX from texas

I’ve just saved you a visit, haven’t I?

Unless you haven’t visited In N Out…or Whataburger. Then, definitely pop by.

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A Teacher Asked Kindergarteners to Create Cook a Book. The Recipes Are Hilarious.

Cooking takes years and years to master. This is why your average kindergartener, who’s still learning how to tie their shoes, is most likely a terrible cook. So when you ask a group of five- and six-year-olds to write a cookbook, you can guess what would result–bizarre, nonsensical, and hilarious recipes.

Jordan Adams is a Texas-based joke writer, pizza enthusiast, and Twitter user. When his nephew Ethan’s kindergarten class wrote their own cookbook, Jordan had to share it with with his Twitter followers.

Ethan’s teacher asked her students to explain how to prepare their favorite foods, and she wrote down their responses word for word. Let’s take a closer look.

Ethan’s Eggs

Photo Credit: @jordankadams97

It would be an impressive act of cooking alchemy to to turn pancakes, sugar, and Skittles into eggs. While Ethan’s ingredients might be a bit inaccurate, he does seem to understand eggs’ most important quality as a dish: they’re easy to make. Maybe not so easy that they only need two seconds to cook, but you get the idea. Solid work, Ethan.

Joe’s Tacos

Photo Credit: @jordankadams97

Joe is clearly a free-spirit in the kitchen, the sort of chef who goes by instinct, not by following a recipe to the letter. Details like cooking times and ingredients don’t need to be exact. You can even switch to an entirely different dish mid-cook, if you want to! “Brown candy” also sounds intriguing. Joe has all the makings of a future professional chef.

Sebastian’s Pancakes

Photo Credit: @jordankadams97

$7o pancakes made entirely out of salt? This kid should open up his own restaurant and become the Salt Bae of breakfast food. At the very least he needs his own Food Network show. Also, nice work reminding everyone to clear the table after eating, Sebastian. Clean-up is part of cooking, too.

Ariana’s Macaroni

Photo Credit: @jordankadams97

Creative! Macaroni and cheese that includes apples and strawberries sounds like the result a crazy Top Chef challenge that required chefs to combine four random ingredients. Could be delicious, could be disgusting! Then Ariana takes things one step further by including ingredients that are inedible. Top Chef should definitely make the contestants cook something with doll parts. Also, I now realize that every recipe should include a trip to the swimming pool. Thank you, Ariana.

As you can imagine, the kindergarten cookbook went massively viral, racking up over 70,000 retweets, 170,000 likes, and hundreds of responses.

Some folks actually wanted to try the recipes.

While some teachers wanted to try writing a cookbook with their classes.

But most of all, people wanted more.

Maybe one day we’ll all be able to read The Kindergarten Cookbook, but until then, these four recipes will have to do.

The post A Teacher Asked Kindergarteners to Create Cook a Book. The Recipes Are Hilarious. appeared first on UberFacts.

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These People Are Making the Subway a Lot More Interesting

The subway is like a box of chocolates–you never know what you’re gonna get. The beauty of public transportation is that it’s open to everyone, and people from all walks of life use it. If you’re a people watcher, there’s no better place to observe the rich variety of life than on the subway.

Previously, we showed you these 15 people who were making the subway a whole lot more interesting. But there are way more than 15 interesting people on the subway, and so we’ve got another batch of wonderful subway weirdness for you! (via Bored Panda)

1. One ticket per tree, no exceptions.

Photo Credit: Reddit

2. That’s one way to shorten your commute time.

Photo Credit: Reddit

3. When transit cops can’t get the job done, they call in…Transit Knight.

Photo Credit: Reddit

4. Didgeri-don’t.

Photo Credit: Reddit

5. When it’s rush hour, and your next victim lives uptown.

Photo Credit: Reddit

6. Sometimes, deodorant isn’t enough.

Photo Credit: SubwayCreatures

7. “Saw this punk helping a woman carry heavy stuff in Berlin’s subway.

Photo Credit: Reddit

8. How to guarantee you’ll always get a seat on the subway.

Photo Credit: Reddit

9. Some people will try to pass off anything as a comfort animal.

Photo Credit: SubwayCreatures

10. A breath of fresh air hot garbage fumes

Photo Credit: Reddit

11. “On the train on the way home from Oktoberfest.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

12. “How was your day, honey?” “I got crabs on the subway.”

Photo Credit: @HelloCVH

13. “This guy’s lunch made it onto the subway without him.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

14. When it’s rush hour, and the child you’re going to to possess lives uptown.

Photo Credit: SubwayCreatures

15. Either the deceased wanted one last ride, or someone was too cheap to spring for a hearse.

Photo Credit: Reddit

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To Solve This 1945 Logic Puzzle, You Need Some Seriously Creative Thinking

Let’s travel back in time to 1945.

The Candle Problem is an old logic puzzle, originally published by Karl Duncker in 1945. It might seem straightforward, but to solve it correctly, you’ll need to be able to think outside the box.

The Candle Problem

You’re in a room with a table pushed against the wall. On it is a box of thumbtacks, matches, and a candle. You must attach the lit candle to the wall in a way that the wax won’t drip onto the table or floor. How do you complete this task?

Continue reading when you’re ready to check your answer (or you’ve given up!).

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10 of the Most Bizarre Declassified Government Documents

Some people are really into conspiracy theories – or more prone to believing that the government is hiding certain truths from us, maybe – and still others have just watched too many episodes of The X-Files to trust that we’re being told every last detail.

But if these 10, slightly terrifying declassified documents are any indication, people are definitely right to ask questions, because the truth is often buried behind miles of red tape.

10. Okay so this needs to be a movie, if it isn’t.

In East Germany a committed freedom fighter and her husband had dealt with having her home raided while she was away, being arrested on the way to protests and all sorts of state sponsored harassment. After the wall fell she was able to read the documents the Stasi had kept on her and found out her own husband was an undercover agent and had written many reports on her activities with a bloodless banality.

9. Everything about the Challenger explosion is horrible.

When the space shuttle Challenger was destroyed, it was reported that all 7 astronauts were killed instantly. It was revealed decades later that some, if not all of the astronauts survived the initial explosion, as the cockpit cabin had enough protection to not be breached. For 2 minutes and 45 seconds, they were awake and aware, as they plummeted toward the Atlantic Ocean.

Understandably, NASA knew that the news of their terrifying death would have crippled the space program even more than it already was.

8. Evil people sometimes have security clearance.

Canadian here… The Somalia Affair Not sure if it was ever classified but definitely a horrific scandal. A now disbanded division of the Canadian military torturing a kid to death in the 90s, and taking hero pics with him while doing it… I think it’s important to remember when your country does something shitty – it’s not always the “bad guys” who can be fucking evil.

7. This seems awfully small and petty when, you know, actual life should scare people enough.

Devil Eyes

The plan after 9/11 to make figurines that look like Osama Bin Laden and give them to kids in South Asia. After it’s left in the sun for a certain amount of time, it’s face would peel off to reveal a “demon-like visage with red skin, green eyes, and black markings,” basically a demon. The objective was to scare kids and their parents so Bin Laden and Al Qaeda would lose support.

6. This idea was actually floated, so what’s not possible?

Operation Northwoods; A plan for a false flag operation that came from the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Department of Defense in 1962 and given to JFK who turned it down. The plan called for the CIA to commit terrorist actions against US Civilians across the United States and frame Cuba, allowing us the right to invade and depose Castro and the communist government there. It was declassified and can be found online at the JFK Library. Terrifying that no one knows or seems to care that this was suggested by our government to the President.

5. We have to prepare for all contingencies.

The Nixon Administration had a speech prepared for if the moon landing had failed, and it’s chilling.

You can read it here

4. The Manhattan Project was terrifying from the ground up.

My hometown was littered woth radioactive waste by the federal government as part of the Manhattan project. https://www.nytimes.com/1981/02/01/nyregion/big-atom-waste-site-reported-found-near-buffalo.html

then we wonder why cancer and thyroid conditions thereare the norm.

3. It really seems likely that we’re going to wipe ourselves out on accident.

There are over 50 mishaps with nuclear weapons by the US Airforce in the 1950s alone.

2. So as you can see, we’ve never been a society that puts children first.

They tested Iodine on “retarded children” as well. In that time, oftentimes orphans and children who were behind in school ended up at these institutions.

The US government also inserted radioactive material into a man after a motorcycle crash and didn’t tell him.

https://www.nytimes.com/1995/10/03/us/panel-urges-us-to-apologize-for-radiation-testing-and-pay-damages.html

1. Drug testing on clueless citizens. That’s not scary.

Operation Midnight Climax

The government hired sex workers to dose “johns” with LSD for research purposes so to speak

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Midnight_Climax

 

Some of these going to haunt my thoughts for weeks, and you know…the truth is out there, y’all.

Are you into conspiracy theories? Do these documents tickle your sixth sense? Let us know!

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People are No Longer Allowed to Swim with Dolphins in New Zealand

If your bucket list includes swimming with “wild” dolphins, well…you’ll have to do it somewhere other than in New Zealand.

Bottlenose dolphins are intelligent, social creatures that can be found in most of the world’s waters, and because they’re keen to interact across species lines, many people want to experience their friendliness firsthand.

The New Zealand Department of Conservation, though, says that people are “loving the dolphins too much,” and that the amount and duration of close encounters is harming the species as a whole.

This new rule, which bans swimming with dolphins, went into effect on July 1, 2019, and applies to all commercial operators around the Bay of Islands. The laws also require operators to restrict viewing and interaction time to no more than 20 minutes per trip, and closes off certain areas around Tapeka Point and Roberton Island.

Additionally, operators may only interact with dolphins in the morning or in the afternoon, but not both, so the dolphins have at least half a day to themselves.

The Department of Conservation made the decision after several different studies have shown that too much interaction with humans can affect the dolphins’ resting and feeding behaviors. One study, published in 2010, found that dolphins get extremely stressed out when touched or even approached by humans – and that it could cause psychological problems that prevent them from resting, feeding, and nurturing their young.

Research has also uncovered the sad fact that calf mortality rate is rising toward 75% in some populations, which would be the highest anyone has seen anywhere (even in captivity).

With the number of dolphins in the Bay of Islands in a drastic decline (over a 66% decrease since 1999), the government of New Zealand felt as if it was their duty to act on their behalf.

View this post on Instagram

“We had an up-close encounter with dolphins…”?⁠ ⁠ Yes, we love our cheeky dolphins in the Bay and they often come up close to play with the boat! It’s a gorgeous way to experience these creatures without climbing through crowds of tourists.⁠ ⁠ Read more of this review here:⁠ ⁠ “We have just enjoyed the most fabulous trip with Barefoot. The sail, the team Luke and Rachel, the catamaran and the food and drink were all first class.⁠ ⁠ ?We were very well looked after as we sailed to Moturua Island. ⁠ ⁠ We had an up close encounter with dolphins as an added bonus, entirely of the dolphins choice. The scenery and the knowledge the staff have of the area made it both stunning and informative. ⁠ ⁠ The trip was superb value for money. We highly recommend this trip!”⁠ ⁠ Thank you so much for sharing your day with us and for choosing our experience. It was so much fun to see you relaxing and enjoying yourselves thoroughly! ⁠ ⁠ – Rachael and Luke⁠ ⁠ #barefootsailingadventures #sailingnz #sailingbayofislands # #bayofislandsnz #bayofislandsweddings #newzealandtravel

A post shared by Barefoot Sailing Adventures (@barefootsailingadventuresnz) on

Hopefully the actions will help the existing dolphins live happier, more natural lives, and maybe, in time, encourage more offspring and growing pods for everyone to enjoy.

I love dolphins as much as the next person, but if they’re not as big on people as they’ve seemed, then I say give them their space.

As a fellow introvert, I can definitely relate.

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