Jokes About Growing Up as an Only Child

It might seem like all of the funny jokes out there are for and about people who grew up with siblings, but the truth is, there’s plenty to laugh about if you grew up as the only kiddo in the house, too.

If that’s you, you’re going to get – and laugh at – these 10 jokes that talk about the silly humor that happens when you’re an only child.

10. There’s no one to steal your thunder.

I hope you didn’t go through an awkward stage, though.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

9. That part was rough.

You can tell your grandkids about your hardships one day.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

8. Technology has just caught up.

Only kids today have it easy.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

7. I mean, you do you.

You’re an only child so you’re going to anyway.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

6. It’s fighting with love, though.

Most of the time, at least.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

5. I’m sure they loved it.

I hope so, anyway, because it was probably their choice.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

4. It’s a double-edged sword.

Depends on the day.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

3. Maybe he’s an only child, too.

That would be one epic battle right there.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

2. Remembering would involve paying attention to other people.

Our parents didn’t teach us how to do that.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

1. I’m sure there are other things to be mad about.

You still have family, after all.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

I’m not an only child, but I love reading about hardships opposite of mine.

Tell us in the comments your best stories about growing up as an only child!

The post Jokes About Growing Up as an Only Child appeared first on UberFacts.

Jokes About Growing Up as an Only Child

It might seem like all of the funny jokes out there are for and about people who grew up with siblings, but the truth is, there’s plenty to laugh about if you grew up as the only kiddo in the house, too.

If that’s you, you’re going to get – and laugh at – these 10 jokes that talk about the silly humor that happens when you’re an only child.

10. There’s no one to steal your thunder.

I hope you didn’t go through an awkward stage, though.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

9. That part was rough.

You can tell your grandkids about your hardships one day.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

8. Technology has just caught up.

Only kids today have it easy.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

7. I mean, you do you.

You’re an only child so you’re going to anyway.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

6. It’s fighting with love, though.

Most of the time, at least.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

5. I’m sure they loved it.

I hope so, anyway, because it was probably their choice.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

4. It’s a double-edged sword.

Depends on the day.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

3. Maybe he’s an only child, too.

That would be one epic battle right there.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

2. Remembering would involve paying attention to other people.

Our parents didn’t teach us how to do that.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

1. I’m sure there are other things to be mad about.

You still have family, after all.

Image Credit: Pleated-Jeans

I’m not an only child, but I love reading about hardships opposite of mine.

Tell us in the comments your best stories about growing up as an only child!

The post Jokes About Growing Up as an Only Child appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Brutal and Honest New Slogans For Popular Brands

There are many businesses and products and other types of offerings out there that just, you know…they’re not doing their best. Or maybe they are, and it’s just not good enough.

Sometimes we can simply avoid those brands and our lives are better for it, but sometimes they’re things that, for one reason or another, we have to continue to use.

Those are the moments that call for these hilarious, brutal, and honest rebrandings, because there’s nothing else to do when you love to hate something that won’t get out of your life.

21. I hope you have a good vacuum.

Nature valley bars: F**k you! Here’s some crumbs.

20. Bless everyone still holding on.

Tinder: Pay extra to stop us from co*kblocking you.

19. There’s something about the way they present things in there…

Target : When you’ll pay a little more to not shop at Walmart.

18. It’s not like Disneyland.

WalMart: you’re near broke but you need stuff.

Wal-Mart: Our mascot is the only employee smiling.

17. Only if you take Canadian money.

Pepsi: is Pepsi ok?

16. Hahaha we know you don’t have any good options.

Comcast: The number one choice for people with no choice.

15. It’s why we love them.

Its late.

You’re stoned.

We’re still open.

Taco Bell

14. Oof. That hurts.

Gap Kids: for kids by kids.

“And we pass the slavings onto you!”–spokesperson Hershel “Krusty the Klown” Krustofsky

13. In more ways than one.

Ex-Lax: Because you’ve got sh%t to do.

12. Not a one.

Friskies – 42 Flavors Your Cat Won’t Eat

11. Hopefully, anyway.

Ramen: you get paid in a few days.

10. At least we know what they’re doing.

EA: Bringing Gambling Addiction to your Phone

Konami: Sales are mandatory, effort not recommended.

9. Regret is for later.

McDonalds: Eat it you filthy animal.

You don’t feel full. You just feel… different.

8. They must be afraid to write anything these days.

The onion: this wasn’t supposed to be a prediction.

The Onion: We were just fucking about and someone took us seriously

7. Also have some blisters.

Payless Shoes: Pay less. Get less. Buy another pair in 4 months.

6. Some of these are hitting a little bit hard, y’all.

The Simpsons: We don’t predict the future.

The problems of the 90s were never fixed.

5. No one knows about history anyway.

Chiquita Bananas: It was only a few massacres, not like you can find other banana brands anyway.

4. And none of them are pleasant.

Hot Pockets: Every bite is a different temperature

3. We’ve got you right where we want you.

1-800- Flowers—-waited till the last minute? pay up mother fucker.

2. Eh, they’re just there to collect data.

Instagram: When you want to feel terrible about your inadequate life.

1. Hope you enjoy!

Nestle: “children died to bring you this!”

Nestle: “Taste the Oppression!”

Perfection, each and every one.

What would you add to this list? Make us laugh in the comments!

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People Tweet Very Good Advice That We All Should Consider

I’m not sure that anyone likes getting unsolicited advice on how to life their life (especially from their parents), but there’s no denying that people who have lived long and hard and well often have wisdom worth imparting to those who are still coming up the ranks.

So, if you’re in need of a bit (or a lot) of tips on how and why to do things better, these 11 pieces of very good advice are ready and waiting.

11. There’s something to that whole “self care” thing.

Even if the term is getting annoying.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

10. Take a deep breath.

Consider whether or not your really want to go there.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

9. This girl is goals.

May we all accept that lesson so young.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

8. From an unexpected source.

And very deep, if you ask me.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

7. Once you sit down it’s all over.

Don’t even put on your comfy pants.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

6. You have to be able to roll with the punches.

And to be gentle with yourself first.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

5. Don’t consider it a loan.

If you get it back, you can be pleasantly surprised.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

4. It’s always better to take a break.

Before you end up broken.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

3. Take a deep breath is always good advice.

And don’t work for people you don’t respect.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

2. We’ve all seen Home Alone.

And few of us are as ingenuitive as Kevin McAllister.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

1. You have to start somewhere.

Might as well start high.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

I love the way people put things sometimes, don’t you?

Share your favorite piece of life advice in the comments!

The post People Tweet Very Good Advice That We All Should Consider appeared first on UberFacts.

Brand Slogans That Are Totally Brutal…But True

It can be kind of fun to think up alternate slogans for your favorite brands of foods, electronics, stores, what have you – especially when you get to be brutally honest about their strengths and weaknesses. And I mean, people love truth, so who knows?

Maybe they would work.

Scroll through these 17 totally honest (but sometimes cringeworthy) slogans for popular brands and tell me what you think in the comments.

17. You must be thinking of Wendy’s.

McDonald’s: …what ice cream machine?

16. They’re the king of the available options.

Burger King: Because Wendy’s is closed.

15. You get what you pay for, eh?

Spirit Airlines: “We got you there alive. What else do you f*cking want?”

I was on a Spirit flight where the attendant said “last year we were rated last in customer service! Don’t test me, okay?”

14. Free mints with every purchase.

Altoids – Use the box for anything else.

13. But I mean. It’s fine.

“I Instantly Believe This Isn’t Butter”

12. Just you and the shelves.

Staples: No one actually works here.

Honestly I think you could just walk out with as much as you can carry and they wouldn’t even notice, much less do anything about it

11. *chef’s kiss*

Reddit: you don’t have to read shampoo bottles anymore while taking a dump.

Reddit: social media for the socially inept

10. It’s better than swimming the channel, mate.

Ryanair – What are you gonna do, walk?

9. So many levels. Bravo.

Viagra: Try it. How hard can it be?

8. They still make those?

Yellow pages – here, you throw this away.

Yellow Pages – We printed out a portion of the internet for you!

7. They just keep trying.

United Airlines: We’re not happy until you’re not happy.

When United delayed our flight, the dude just told us, “Bet you wish you paid that little extra for Alaska over there” and gestured over to the Alaska Airlines kiosk.

6. Same food, different shapes.

Taco Bell: You can make 32 different things with those 5 ingredients, why mess with perfection?

5. Also we know that’s why you bought them.

Q-tips: listen, from a liability standpoint we have to tell you to not stick these in your ears. But we’re not your mother. You do what the f*ck you want.

4. No exceptions.

WebMD.com: We promise, it’s cancer. always.

Symptoms include: *having skin.. *eating… *breathing

3. You might as well be comfortable.

Nike: let’s face it, you’re not going to actually do it.

2. We still exist!

Bing: even we’re surprised you’re using us!

1. And an update is available.

Adobe: We don’t sell products, we sell product rentals.

These are just spot on, don’t you think?

What brutally honest slogan could you come up with? Lay it on us in the comments!

The post Brand Slogans That Are Totally Brutal…But True appeared first on UberFacts.

Fast Food Workers Discuss What Menu Items They Would Never Order

When we go out for some (relatively) cheap food at a joint where you go through a drive thru or order at a counter, we’re not expecting to get gourmet or healthy fare.

That said, most of us hope, at least, that what we’re putting in our mouths is going to be what was advertised, and won’t be, you know. Gross.

If you really want to avoid any nasty mishaps in the future, listen up – these 14 employees are telling you what you should never, ever order.

14. That’s quite a story.

Dairy Queen strawberry cheesecake blizzard.

When the cheesecake gets low you’re supposed to fill it up a certain way where the new cheesecake goes on bottom and what’s left of the old stuff is put on top to ensure it’s used first and it all stays fresh. Well let me tell you that shit is like a brick after it’s been in the container long enough, you constantly take it out and put it back so it’s always thawing and refreezing and essentially freezing together.

This is why absolutely NO ONE rotates the cheese cake. I once dropped the cheese cake container onto the tile and the chunk in bottom cracked in half and came out…. it had become almost like 98% mold. We’d been using it without rotating it for months

13. As long as its fresh.

Former BK employee of 6 years here. The food was actually good if it was fresh. The issue is the staff/management. Sauce bottles would never get completely emptied and cleaned. People wouldn’t change their gloves between doing different tasks, or would be texting with those gloves then make your food. Also, all the items that go into making your food (lettuce, cheese, etc) was all tracked via time stickers (think a little clock).

So if you brought out new cheese, the rules were it could only be left at room temp for 4 hours. If you brought it out at 12, you’d mark the sticker for 4PM, at that point you should have thrown it away. Well that never happened. Everything got stickers replaced to make sure they were always good in case of surprise inspection.

Whenever I’d train people I gave a few rules to live by:

  • If it’s dirty, clean it.
  • If it’s out of place, organize it.
  • If you wouldn’t eat it, don’t serve it.

From a customer perspective, always order your food with a slight modification (light Mayo).

This will ensure your food is made fresh instead of you getting one that has been made previously to speed things up; however, can’t guarantee the food it’s being made with is fresh.

12. Thank goodness for small favors.

I work at Pizza Hut but honestly it’s all pretty lit I wouldn’t have an issue eating any of it m

Thought I would help you guys realize not everything is sketchy lol

11. No one knows what’s in there.

My bro managed a Weinerschnitzel.

Unbelievably they catered lunch for a few local high schools. (As did Ameci’s Pizza). The chili wasn’t up to school standard and they had to add more meat to it in order to pass LAUSD code.

Of course they used old burgers, dogs, and expired ground beef from the freezer. Bro bluntly told me, “Never eat our chili.”

10. I’m so sorry.

So I’m a rat guy. I block them out of restaurants.

I was doing my thing one night, and the restaurant owner is on the phone, trying to get his fryer filter repaired. He told me he’d been trying for weeks but the co was booked solid.

I’ve got a degree in engineering, so I said I’d check it out. I managed to get it apart, and get a look inside.

Inside were two large dead rats, or what was left of them, bones and fluff mostly. They had got in the machine via the purge pipe, and got stuck inside.

So for probably a month or two, all the fried food from this establishment had been cooked in oil that had been filtered through two rotting rats…

9. A word to the wise.

I worked at a pizza place that was infested with roaches, especially in the back room where we would leave the pizza dough out to sit.

We would also find roaches in the ice maker, in the mechanical parts as well as the ice itself.

If a restaurant has roaches nothing is safe.

8. If they wanted homestyle chicken they’d go to Chick-Fil-A.

I worked at Wendy’s nobody ever fucking orders the homestyle chicken so if you do it’s probably been sitting in a warmer tray for an hour or two since we just can’t afford to throw out the old ones all the time but have to keep some on hand

It will probably be hard and dry and we probably won’t give you a refund

7. It’s such a good sandwich, though.

When that Popeyes spicy chicken sandwich came out with all that hype I gave in and decided to try Popeyes for the first time.

Walked inside to see the filthiest eating establishment I’ve ever seen, stepped on two massive roaches that crunched beneath my feet and a trash can overflowing to my right.

I’m ashamed to say I still proceeded to order the meal lol.

6. They can survive anywhere.

Did a month at Golden Corral during my senior year of high school.

Roaches. In. The. Meat. Freezer.

Roaches. In. The. M e a t. F r e e z e r.

5. E. coli waiting to happen.

I won’t eat at Bobby’s Burger Palace because I had to go into the kitchen once (my job doesn’t involve food but this particular instance required going into the kitchen) and there were full Roach traps everywhere.

I also saw an employee grab a knife from what looked like a dirty container of haphazardly strewn about kitchen utensils, start chopping lettuce without washing it, and then scraping the knife on the edge of a trash can to remove excess and go right back to chopping.

4. Put this one on the list.

I worked for Noodles & Co for a few years and I would honestly eat everything on the menu. The sauce ingredients come from a corporate kitchen and get combined/made to order, the veggies were prepped fresh twice a day or more if needed and tossed at the end of the day, we pulled out all the kitchen equipment and deck scrubbed constantly.

I’ve been fortunate to work in restaurants I wasn’t embarrassed by for most of my working life.

3. A kernel of truth.

Worked at a small fast food place and during training my manager got mad at me for throwing out slimy corn.

She showed me how she would just rinse the slime off in the sink and put it back. I find corn suspicious now.

2. Not all places are created equal.

Cleanliness and not serving bad food varies from store to store. The Taco Bell I worked at took pride in our cleanliness* and we followed food safety rules. During down times we’d get lent out to other stores. We came back from some and we were all “dude. Never ever eat there”.

*We always passed the health Department inspections with flying colors. The only points we ever got taken off for was once not realizing that they had changed how far off the floor shelving had to be and our sprayer nozzle was too low. Considering the inspections were always a surprise, that’s pretty damned good.

1. No one cleans those things.

I was a shift supervisor at a fast food place and years later, I still refuse to eat anything with ice cream in it.

The machine we had was always covered in mold and spoiled cream while the owner’s “fix” was to scrape off a layer of mold and spray some clorox on it.

Welp, I think I’m going to be cooking at home for awhile, how about you?

If you’ve worked fast food, drop your own warnings in the comments!

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Fast Food Items You Should Avoid Like the Plague

We might go to fast food places knowing that we’re getting a bunch of fat, preservatives, and other additives that will make us have regrets, but we at least hope that the places we frequent take their cleanliness and other health standards seriously.

We probably realize, though, that’s not always true – and if you’re wondering if there’s something in particular you shouldn’t be ordering from your favorite spot, well…these 12 employees are dishing below.

12. Why would anyone eat there, honestly?

Applebee’s; not a d*mn thing.

It’s the only restaurant I’ve worked for I would never eat at.

11. Once a week!

Had a job with AMC theaters.

I wouldn’t recommend buying anything other than popcorn/drink.

The fried food is really something else – one it comes shipped from a 3rd party, so it’s not even kind of fresh.

The oil is so gross. You’re basically ordering something that went through a machine built in the 70s that has accumulated layers and layers of oil residue. You can clean it a little bit, but you’re never going back to how it first looked. Everyday there’s like a new layer of “oil icing” and the corners of the steel plates are where they really get stuck.

(I’ve worked other jobs as a fry cook before too, making fresh chicken tenders and such everyday at a deli. AT the deli we cleaned the fryers every night, with huge hoses.)

AMC we cleaned the fryer once a week – by a person making minimum wage and doesn’t exactly have any motivation to do a pristine job.

10. You heard it here first.

I work at a chain coffee shop where we make our own in-house chocolate sauce.

Sounds nice but it starts to mold within a few days. That shouldn’t be a problem since we go through chocolate and make more daily, however the chocolate sauce container only gets cleaned out properly if we run out during slow times. Otherwise we just dump fresh chocolate sauce on top and get right back to dealing with the rush.

The white mocha and caramel sauces are manufactured and therefore have a long shelf life. I stick with those.

9. Just pretend there is no ice cream machine.

I work at a mcdonalds. While there isn’t much that I wont eat (I just have stupid low standards for food) There are some…riskier things to eat.

There’s a reason that the ice cream machine is down a lot. Sometimes its for legit maintenance, other times tho, its to clean out the mold that likes to grow in the liquid mix.

I only found out after a year, was filling it one day and looked down. The stuff i saw was nightmare fuel and ruined me on their soft serve for awhile.

I had said something about it. “First shift will get it tomorrow.”…..

8. No one wants a wrinkly hotdog.

I worked at Orange Julius for my first job. We would cook hot dogs on the rotating grill for all to see. At the end of the day if they weren’t bought we were supposed to toss them. I mean they were almost burnt and wrinkly. The manager was there one day when we had three hotdogs left over. I went to Ross then and he flipped his shit

He put them in the fridge and told me to use them the next day in a chili or cheese dog where the customer couldn’t see the hotdog. To this day I still feel bad for the customer who received the chili dog the next morning since he was there. Thankfully he has rarely there and I would toss out those wrinkly fuckers at the end of the day.

7. It might make you diabetic.

I work at a fast casual baja style mexican grill place that is a smaller competitor to Chipotle. I’m the lead cook and make every protein, sauce, bean and hot item in house with fresh ingredients. That being said our most popular protein is our sweet pork. For a single batch of pork (60 lbs) I will use close to 10 lbs of straight white sugar, 3 gallons of coke and 3 lbs of butter.

The shit taste like fuxking candy and is crazy addictive. There are folks who come in every day and get double meat (8oz) slather it in queso, and get shredded cheese on top. I’m pretty damn sure I am contributing to their eventual death by cardiac arrest.

6. Not made fresh.

I currently manage a red-colored fast food place. The only item that I will not eat on the menu is the breakfast burrito. Everything else is cooked fresh in the store except for that item.

Other people are claiming other items are bad due to poor waste control practices, but I always tell my employees “if you wouldn’t pay for it, do not serve it”. Emphasis on the PAY for it. People pay a premium for our food compared to arch-based or crown-based places, so they better be getting quality food.

I would rather someone wait 1-2 minutes extra for fresh food than serve sub-standard products.

5. Learned this the hard way.

Ham on pizza. Worked at pizza hut done time ago and the ham would turn this disgusting gray color within a day or opening the package. You just couldn’t tell if it had been opened 24 his ago or 2 weeks ago.

But, during cooking it returned to pink which always weirded me out.

4. That’s not a sound you forget.

I worked at a Subway in my senior year of high school. What disturbed me was how the tuna came packaged: in a big metallic bag (to keep it fresh, I guess.) Then when we had to take it out, it would make this squelching noise.

And because I made so many subs, completely put me off from eating those sandwiches ever again.

3. Just go to Chick Fil A, friends.

Used to work at McDonald’s. Nobody ever ordered the crispy chicken. I’ve had it sit in the warmer from opening to changeover. Then from changeover when I ended my shift. Maybe it depends on the location, but the odds of getting one that’s been sitting there for an hour or two outweigh the odds that the table and grill people remembered it existed and changed it out when it started looking bad.

That and the gravy. Shit smelled like dog food and looked like glue. I didn’t have a single coworker who liked it. I might just be biased against it since it took forever to make it. And if I thought “Oh, we have enough to finish out breakfast I be wrong. Every. Single. Time. I’ll never order it close to changeover and have someone have to make a gallon they’ll end up using one scoop of.

2. Why is it always the chili?

I worked at Wendy’s in high school. For me, that item is the chili.

Whenever a burger is cooked it is only considered “good” for a certain amount of time. So many minutes after cooking and the burger didn’t get used it would be thrown in a bucket next to the grill. At the end of each shift the person dumps all the old burgers into a larger bucket of old burgers which may or may not be covered. They also may be from xays prior. Overnight they chill, the grease congeals and the meat turns pretty grey and weird. This meat may not be frozen, but it is still pretty hard to break up. So the person making chili dumps it in a big colander, runs hot water over it, and mashes it into tiny pieces again.

Now the soggy, greyish, lukewarm day old burger meat is ready to be used in the chili.

1. They’re hard to clean.

I never drink anything from a tap or fountain, anywhere. Those things are always nasty, and I say that as someone who has had a career in waste disposal. In the first bar I worked I took it upon my young, dumb ass to deep clean the beer taps.

Not only have I never seen that quantity of black mold anywhere else, on my next shift five people, apparently regulars, chewed me out because the beer tasted wrong and it was obviously my fault. They weren’t wrong, but it stung, especially since I couldn’t tell them why.

Yeah, some stuff I swear you just don’t want to know.

If you’re a fast food worker, or have been in the past, lay your own cautionary tales on us in the comments!

The post Fast Food Items You Should Avoid Like the Plague appeared first on UberFacts.

Four Strangers All Named Paul O’Sullivan Formed a Band

If there’s one thing we’ve learned during the pandemic, it’s that we should get down on our knees and thank whoever we worship for the advent of Zoom and Facetime.

It’s allowed people to keep in touch with their family members and friends all across the world during quarantine and has even resulted in a lot of strangers getting to know each other.

And you never know, some of these strangers might even start a band with each other…and that’s what happened when four men from around the globe all named Paul O’Sullivan started jamming together!

Yes, you read that right.

It all started when Paul O’Sullivan of Baltimore, Maryland, was adding other people with the same name as friends on Facebook and he noticed that several of them were musicians, just like himself.

So he reached out to a bunch of other Paul O’Sullivans about playing some music and eventually, three other Pauls agreed and they started jamming…under the name “The Paul O’Sullivan Band”, of course.

Two of the Pauls live in the U.S, one in England, and one in the Netherlands.

 

The Paul in the band who is from Manchester, England, said,

“In this world, sometimes you think everything’s been done.

Particularly with the internet, everything’s been covered, everything’s been done. Well actually, this felt like a first. And it still feels like a first.”

Check out one of their music videos below!

That’s so cool!

Have you seen any interesting stories online lately?

If so, please share them with us in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post Four Strangers All Named Paul O’Sullivan Formed a Band appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About What Makes Them Believe In Zodiac Signs

When it comes to zodiac signs, the majority of people fall into the “eh, whatever” category. We enjoy reading our horoscope now and again, and we totally know our signs and all of that, but we’re not organizing our life around what the stars say is going to happen.

There are some who are extremely skeptical, and yet others who are super into it and definitely do plan their lives around what the stars say is a good thing to try next.

Like these 18 people, who are here to tell you what inspires them to listen to forces beyond their control.

18. We’re all just trying to get better.

I don’t know if I’d say I “believe in it” as such, and it’s certainly a lot more than “sun signs”, but I’ve been using it as a tool to work on my flaws/ weak points for the last couple of years.

Take an aspect between the planets, and think “how does this potentially come out in the way I behave / interact with others / the decisions I make?” then work on that if you’re not happy with it. Better (and cheaper!) than therapy, for me.

17. Can’t lose that feeling.

Because, when I was high AF, someone did my whole chart and I’ve never felt more understood. Still chasing that buzz.

My friend gave me a magic brownie and read my chart to me at a coffee shop – when it started to kick in I felt like everyone was staring at me and I meekly said ‘can you please stop reading that out loud?’

16. It helps you know yourself.

I can’t say if I believe in it 100% but for me, following it is not only fun, but it empowers me to become more insightful and aware of how the emotions of myself and others around me are affecting their behaviors. Learning about astrology I think has made me a more empathetic person because I do notice smaller details about my friends, and I can support them more effectively.

It’s the same thing as say the enneagram, Myers Briggs types, or love languages. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to try to understand yourself and your peers better. Adding astrological elements just makes it more fun.

15. It’s not so different from religion.

Because I always feel stressed and anxious. I need to be tethered to something.

It assigns patterns to the randomness of the universe. It’s very grounding for me, too.

14. Everyone needs a hobby.

I have a friend who has a similar mindset that you do. I questioned her about it once and she said “it may be a dumb hobby, but it’s my hobby. It doesn’t hurt anyone and makes me happy”. With that reasoning, who am I to judge?

Not saying that it’s dumb at all. I was just quoting (likely paraphrasing her). She seems to be the most mentally healthy of all our friend group and if that’s the reason why, so be it

13. Live and let live.

As someone who thinks most things like this are BS, it’s one of the least harmful things that people follow.

I’d rather my neighbors be eccentric astrology nuts than an average scientologist.

12. Valid response.

Because it may lead to sexy time?

11. It’s as simple as that.

TLDR- Because it’s fun!

I started learning about it as a kid because my mom had some books laying around.

Thought it was interesting, the way a personality quiz online might be fun to do. Like “oh yeah that’s totally me! Haha”

Seeing as I already memorized friends and family’s birthdays I started seeing some patterns and saw the (verrry general) traits of the zodiac manifested. Not super clearly, not every time, but enough to keep me interested!

As an adult I’ve really been digging into it more. The internet certainly helps! It’s a great hobby because there is SO MUCH material out there to study! Signs, planets, degrees, aspects, elements… it’s like laying out a big puzzle. Connecting pieces of information and putting them together. It’s one of many tools I can use to decipher myself and the world around me.

I know it’s not scientific, and I’m fine with that. I enjoy it and it helps me. I don’t need to convince anyone and I certainly don’t bother anyone with my “Astro takes” unless they ask for it. That said – I’ve become pretty good at pinpointing other people’s signs ?

10. It just slowly became a thing.

K so, hear me out. ahem, it wasn’t so much a belief, but I had used zodiac in the past as a method of self examination/improvement, before getting into therapy. I wanted to identify the problems before spending alot of $$ to have someone talk me through it. I have been struggling with the unholy matrimony of mental health, anxiety, depression and ADHD, with sprinkles for a while now. Astrology was the kick in the right direction. Led to me picking up books about aforementioned sprinkles, and getting from point a to point b. (My parents didn’t believe in therapy, and was taken off ADHD pills because parents didn’t like me on them, all of three days.?)

IMA JUST PUT THIS OUT THERE QUICK. You don’t get to disrespect people/act a certain way and blame it on your sign. It’s childish and you need to get over yourself.

It is ludicrous to think that planetary positions affect personalities, however, there’s a little more depth to it that just “sun sign”. BEAR WITH ME. When you are born planets are in a certain constellation, depicted by a natal chart, which has been used in Astronomy in various ways, like planning trips to Mars. Each of the planets progress through the constellations at different speeds.

In Astrology, the planets represent certain life aspects, like relationships, feeling, communication, passion, etc. NOW. Per the planets in star signs representing your personality, ?, doesn’t matter. When you get to the planetary aspects, and are objective(not like “oh the moons over there next to Venus, IMA get some dick” no, fork off) you can identify the traits/emotions/life changes that apply to you. You can also use the timings of planetary cycles to set goals; moon signs change every 2-3 days. Make a plan to start doing excersize get goals to achieve every three days, idk whatever floats your boat.

Whether or not it’s backed by science can be argued out the door for sure. But, any self analysis can be a useful tool along side getting professional help. Mental health is a different struggle for everyone, and it’s better if you can find something that interests you, keeps you engaged and aware of yourself.

There’s journaling aspects and cycles associated with growth and planning. NGL, it’s also a fun time going out to a dark sky reserve with a telescope on a dark night outside the city and just be at peace. It was definitely a phase, meditation is my go to now. But you know, cycles. Learn and reflect.

I’m not saying it’s for everyone, and people definitely use it in some twisted ways. But hey, unless someone’s punching you in the face saying “it’s fine , I’m an Aries”, you do you.?

9. Everybody wants a “thing.”

Yeah it’s just fun =) I’m not huge into it.

But playing Final Fantasy Tactics as a kid the zodiac was a major motif.

It caught my eye and it’s really cool.

8. Everything is stardust.

I don’t believe but I mean everything is stardust so they’re not crazy for looking at the sky for answers.

7. You can’t argue with that.

Because I’m a typical Pisces.

One time when I was arguing with my mom and telling her I don’t believe in astrology she barked at me “OF COURSE YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY, YOU’RE A VIRGO!”

I have no idea what that means, but I always though the comment itself was a great one.

6. We all want to feel like we have control.

Helps create a false sense of control, like making sense of the messy life patterns.

I don’t believe in horoscope they are garbage. I like the personality profiles (zodiac) though, it’s similar to create target personas in marketing. It’s dummy and not exactly accurate but gives an idea.

Check out the app called Pattern, some of the predictions or patterns (based on time of birth etc) are pretty accurate, can be really annoying too at times.

5. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I dont really believe in it, but it is fun learning about. Youre supposed to use a birth chart and not just your zodiac sign, which uses the exact time and location of birth to figure out the alignment of stars and shit. You can share qualities with other signs based on where the sun/stars/moon/planets are.

So like, Im a virgo. I dont share a lot of qualities with your stereotypical virgo. Im not a clean freak and im largely disorganized which is not considered a “virgo” trait. But if i bust open my birth chart, look at the shit that represents orderliness, it predicts that Im a disorganized person. And basically all the qualities that didnt fit me under one general zodiac sign, are pretty much tailored to me when I use my birth chart.

You can use other zodiacs too in a birth chart to compare. I used my sisters and tried to identify with her supposed qualities but i couldnt because none of it applied to me. Try to compare other peoples zodiacs to each other and see which one fits who better.

I can see why people believe in it, its a spiritual thing. We can track movement of the stars and planets, its kind of a given that a belief like this would arise. I do wish that i understood its origins though. I wouldnt be surprised of i found out it was pretty much appropriated from other religions/culture. Like how wiccans did.

4. Because it can seem really legit.

I think off the bat, the top layer of zodiac signs, so sun signs are interesting but then it’s when you go in deeper and explore the sun moon and rising signs along with times of birth and topical and all that other stuff which really gets interesting.

I wasn’t really into it at first but its actually crazy how similar things are in my deeper readings rather than just sun sign stuff.

3. Maybe there’s something to it.

I don’t traditionally, but I do cite them a lot and get called on to justify why a lot.

And I dig into my own zodiac sign a lot, because sometimes it’s just a nice avenue for self-exploration.

I went through a bad break-up once for a pretty long relationship and didn’t know who I was anymore by the end. So when I went and got my chart read, this guy told me “Hey, you’re a Pisces, so you care a lot about people.” and I do, totally, one of my big things.

But then he said “And you’re a Libra moon, so you like doing housework, maintaining order, etc.”

Which is totally not me.

So even though I didn’t agree with some of the zodiac stuff, the prompt to stop and think about how I felt about things is something I think more of us should take.

2. It’s individual spirituality.

Atheist and former evangelical Christian here. I see a lot of people who are moving away from their religion go towards astrology and/or other forms of spirituality. While I may not believe in it, it is harmless and at the very most annoying.

Moving away from religion is difficult and it can help to have something to cling to in order to express a form of spirituality that may feel lost. Even if that doesn’t apply to them, let people connect or not connect to their spirituality the way they want.

It has about the same level of scientific backing as personality tests, and the 5 male personality types, and in the case of the latter, it doesn’t spread toxic masculinity.

I think a better question would be, why do we shit on people who believe in zodiac signs disproportionally to other harmless (and sometimes harmful) pseudo-science?

1. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

I know this is going to sink so low that nobody sees it, but if you want a serious answer…

Have you ever had a full natal chart done? A lot of people, even people who at a surface level believe in astrology look at their sun sign which is just kind of bs and doesn’t really apply to them in the first place.

It’s a lot like any personality test. And rather than looking at it like a self-limiting box, the real purpose is to see your flaws and grow past them rather than relying on them and saying shit like “ooh I’m such a cancer, and this excuses x action.”

I mean, they’ve got some decent arguments, don’t you think?

Do you believe in astrology? Tell us why or why not in the comments!

The post People Talk About What Makes Them Believe In Zodiac Signs appeared first on UberFacts.

Posts That Will Make You Chuckle

If you want a lighthearted moment or two, a chuckle or maybe even a laugh, there’s no better place than the internet, honestly. And if you want the most bang for your buck as far as social media and giggles, Twitter is the place to be.

We think these 13 posts are funny enough to make you chuckle – or maybe even laugh out loud – so why not give them a go and then tell us what you think!

13. These are trying times.

I hope you’re tipping your pizza men well.

Image Credit: The Chive

12. You just can’t keep them out.

It’s the one downside of living in New Zealand, perhaps.

Image Credit: The Chive

11. That song does assume a whole lot.

Just believe, people.

Image Credit: The Chive

10. This might be the pinnacle of dad jokes.

And that’s really saying something.

Image Credit: The Chive

9. It does seem oddly acceptable.

Just a talking bird carry on.

Image Credit: The Chive

8. Some days are like this.

Also some weeks and months. Maybe years.

Image Credit: The Chive

7. Lots of technology isn’t the best.

Texting can stay, though.

Image Credit: The Chive

6. It’s over you can go home now.

The end.

Image Credit: The Chive

5. Living a man’s dream.

Some men, anyway. The other ones want a$s jobs.

Image Credit: The Chive

4. Among other things.

On the upside, we wouldn’t smell a thing.

Image Credit: The Chive

3. You’re scaring him.

This is honestly hilarious.

Image Credit: The Chive

2. They’re not afraid to tell you about it, either.

Like everything that went to Harvard.

Image Credit: The Chive

1. Like, in a way that’s far too big for their bodies.

Big d*ck energy, those.

Image Credit: The Chive

I’m reading these for a second time and I still stand by my statement.

Which of these did you forward to a friend? I know there had to be at least one!

The post Posts That Will Make You Chuckle appeared first on UberFacts.