Author: Matt Gilligan

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Funny Tweets From the Ladies of Twitter

It’s time for another installment of funny tweets from the hysterical women of Twitter!

Why do we keep bringing you these kinds of articles?

Because the women of Twitter keep on bringing the funny!

Here are just 12 more examples of what I’m talking about…enjoy.

1. I need one of these.

2. That is not cool.

3. A little different…

4. You do you.

5. A shadowy figure.

6. Not a fan.

7. That’s a little improvement.

8. Not gonna be friends.

9. This is the perfect time for this.

10. What a show!

11. You’re not going anywhere!

12. Don’t we all?

I told you, didn’t I? Just listen to me from now and don’t question anything I say, okay?

Okay, now that we have that cleared up, we want to hear from you. Tell us about some of the hilarious women you follow on social media, across all platforms: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc.

In the comments, please and thank you!

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12 Memes to Make You Feel a Little Better About Life

Browsing memes isn’t just a luxury right now, it’s a necessity. Something about memes, even when they’re about awful things, makes everything feel a little more manageable.

Like we’re all in this together, and sure it kinda sucks, but if we can laugh about it we’ll be ok.

Here are 12 things that memes can make us feel better about today.

12. Your Self-Endangering Friends

11. The Latest Apocalypse

10. The Afterlife

9. Bankruptcy

8. Over-Drinking

7. Photobombers

6. Your Stalker

5. Boring Conversations

4. Time Being Relative

3. Bad Roommates

2. Judgmental People

1. Exhaustion

None of those things feels like too big of a deal now. Who needs mediation or therapy when you’ve got memes?

What do memes help YOU with?

Let’s talk about it in the comments.

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11 Tweets That Should Be a Great Distraction for You Today

There’s a lot of talk about how the Internet and social media are total distractions. Usually that’s phrased in a negative light, but I say, who doesn’t need a distraction now and then? I mean truly NEED one?

One of my favorite distractions is checking out what brilliant little nuggets of bite-sized laughs twitter has been cranking out. Here’s a few great ones to help you be distracted in a good way:

11. Oh… no no no…

10. Nobody’s winning in this score

9. Please don’t look

8. “Checkout is 5 minutes after you wake up”

7. BEHOLD! IT IS ON THE DRESSER!

6. Start practicing your sick voice

5. Mind your business, Netflix

4. Dodged a bullet

3. Oof

2. How bout shut your mouth

1. Villains have feelings too

There, now you’ve replaced whatever was swirling around in your head with visions of these scenarios put on the internet by strangers. Isn’t modern life miraculous?

What’s your favorite tweet recently?

Tell us in the comments.

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10 Memes You Can Definitely Relate To

I don’t know how the “when you…” relatable meme format was invented (discovered? developed in a lab?), but I am a sucker for it.

There’s the usual observations about experiences we all talk about a lot, but then there are the jokes about things you probably didn’t even realize you experienced them until some internet stranger married text to image in an avant-garde piece of psychological insight.

Here are 10 examples of stuff I didn’t even know that I knew before a meme brought it to my attention.

10. That fierce protection of your territory

9. That harsh double standard

8. That loss of verbal skills

7. That feeling of “expectappointment”

6. That plausible fridge deniability

5. That need to greet the bovines

4. That sudden mistrust in your friends

3. That on-the-edge feeling

2. That overdue validation

1. That sweet little lie

I need someone to make a meme with the caption “when you find a good ‘when you’ meme and your perception of reality changes”

Can anybody make that for me? What image would you use?

Let’s blow each others minds in the comments.

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Memes that Should Make You Feel Better About Being Bad at Stuff

Life is definitely not perfect. We’re all constantly expressing that. Sometimes it feels like a constant series of missteps, other times, huge challenges.

But all the imperfections add up to some good stuff. Especially jokes.

I can’t imagine how lame jokes would be in a world with no problems.

So let’s celebrate things being messed with a list of our failures, answered by a meme about each one.

10. We’re bad at chores

9. We’re makin’ too much trash

8. We’re late…again

7. We can’t stop snackin’

6. We’re way behind today

5. We’re broke

4. We have no idea what we’re doing

3. We’re always getting distracted

2. Sometimes we can’t sleep

1. Sometimes we EXCEL at sleeping

Now that we’ve admitted our flaws and allowed them be forgiven by memes, we can get back at it and take on the world.

What are you favorite kinds of memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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These Random Tweets Should Make You Snort a Little

Think about this…

What did we do before Twitter? Did we just share our thoughts with the individuals around us? Did we actually THINK about which of those thoughts might be of interest to those people before we sputtered them out?

That must have been a hellish existence of self-repression. I can hardly remember it, and I don’t want to.

Because in the era of Twitter, I can immerse myself in the random thoughts of humanity, and it’s surprisingly delightful.

Here are 10 examples to make your day better.

10. Express delivery

9. Honesty is the best policy

8. I wonder what the scale of this problem is

7. Communication is key

6. Lower your expectations

5. She’s warning you, bro

4. Some things aren’t important

3. Drinks help us reconnect

2. Like, Bezos level?

1. And yet none of them will TELL US WHAT THEY WANT

See? It’s refreshing. Like a nice glass of internet lemonade. Thank you for your service, Twitter. You’re getting me through this Wednesday.

Who’s your favorite Twitter person? Do you even like Twitter?

Give us the 411 in the comments!

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11 Memes for People Who Know that Diet and Exercise Struggle Is Real

Being an adult is super hard and all, and one of the roughest parts is being forced to make good diet and exercise decisions when you’re finally to a point in your life where you CAN just eat buffalo wings and burgers and watch Netflix all night if you WANT to.

Life is really not fair.

And these 11 memes totally get it.

11. Living your best life and then…disaster.

10. But then you wouldn’t have any friends, so…

9. I miss the good old days.

8. It’s time to eat a chicken wing. Put down the puppies.

7. Because, like I said, nothing about this is fair.

6. This is what you think about when you watch too many murder shows.

5. A lie we all tell ourselves.

4. Accurate barometer here.

3. I feel this deep in my soul.

2. Seriously what is WRONG with people?

1. I, too, only eat round foods.

I’m laughing because these are so, so true and also now I really want to eat a bag of Cheetos.

What’s the hardest part of making good decisions for you? What food is your kryptonite?

Share with us in the comments!

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Stores Are Selling Pre-made Vodka “Jello” Shots

Jello shots brings back memories of college parties followed by mornings of deep, headachey regret. And yet, I gotta confess, whenever I’m at an event that has them on offer, I really can’t resist.

Of course, jello shots are pretty easy to make. Pour some vodka in some jello, put it in the fridge, and get ready to make some weird decisions.

But if that sounds like too much work for you, you might be happy to learn that Costco and a few other places are now selling packs of “Party-Ready Gelatin Shots” from a company called Shottys.

The internet first really caught wind of these via instagram user costcobuys – an account apparently not officially run by Costco but rather a Costco fanatic of some kind, which is a story for a whole other article.

On a post in March, they wrote:

A follower shared this with me and these aren’t in my Costco, so I don’t have a price or item number…have you guys seen these in your Costco?

A quick trip to the official Shottys website confirms that yes, indeed, they are available at some Costco stores, as well as a bunch of other locations.

Apparently they’re available at lots of neighborhood liquor stores as well as select locations of national chains like Costco, Walmart, H-E-B, and Albertsons. If you’ve just gotta know where you can grab a pack, they have a handy store locator.

No word on what brand/supplier of vodka they’re using, but each ~2 oz cup is 25 proof, making them 12.5% ABV.

Depending on how you make your shots, that might be on par with homemade or significantly weaker. A typical ~2 oz straight shot of vodka would be 40% ABV, so these are less “get crunk” treats and more “relax at a party” items.

The shots come in four (apparently award winning?) flavors; strawberry, watermelon, grape, and blue raspberry.

It will be interesting to see if this launch turns out to be a big hit or a miscalculation.

Why buy Shottys when I can make my own?” prompts their FAQ page. Their answer: “Do you make your pasta from scratch and milk your own cows? Neither do we.”

Good point Shottys… good point.

What do you think? Would you pick these up?

Tell us why or why not in the comments.

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Memes for Everyone out There Struggling With Diet and Exercise

You never really think about what will happen when your metabolism finally betrays you when you’re young. So, you don’t develop great exercise habits and you eat whatever you want, and then…it all comes crashing down on you in an ugly moment sometime in your 30s.

You can’t stay the weight you want by doing nothing, and you certainly can’t eat pizza and cheeseburgers every night of your life.

If you are raising your hand and saying AMEN! right now, well, you’re going to feel these 13 memes all the way down to your soul.

13. How did it know?!

12. That’s gonna be a no from me.

11. Notice which one is slightly larger and will obviously win.

10. Is that not how this works?

9. This raccoon is my patronus.

8. There’s no way to escape, might as well give up.

7. I think they program them that way? It’s probably a conspiracy.

6. Have you tasted funnel cake, though?

5. What am I paying you for, anyway?

4. Because it’s definitely big and scary.

3. Pasta should always be a whole experience.

2. How could you do that to tacos?

1. Every one of you knows this is true.

Diet, schmiet! I say suck it up and burn some calories, because food is just way too yummy to turn down!

What’s your big hangup when it comes to changing lifestyles?

Let’s commiserate in the comments!

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Memes That Show the Pros and Cons of Springing Into Spring

It’s been a long winter… But Spring – oh that beautiful Spring.

I’ve been feeling it start to finally creep in over the last few days and I’m so excited I shout my joy across Lake Michigan. Though, probably for not very long, because the wind coming off that thing is still a beast.

Spring has almost Sprung. Hibernations are ending. Realizations about our body shapes are dawning on us.

As we head into 2020’s next chapter, let’s take a look at some of the pros and cons of this changing of the season.

15. CON: It’s very coy

14. PRO: It’s close by

13. CON: These bastards

12. PRO: It makes us temperature optimists

11. PRO: Lionel Richie

10: CON: Fewer clothing layers

9. PRO: Vitamin D

8. PRO: It’s a welcome change

7. PRO: It makes us more adorable

6. PRO: Outside is habitable again

5. PRO: It reminds us of what we’ve lost

4. CON: It never seems to get here

3. CON: It is an elusive lover

2. PRO: BEACH

1. PRO: We get to be fabulous

After carefully considering the advantageous and disadvantages, I’m ready to declare Spring officially sanctioned. By me. Let it arrive!

I can’t wait to emerge from my apartment, blink steadily at the sunlight, and then immediately jump on a yacht that I definitely have.

What are YOU looking forward to this Spring?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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