Author: Matt Gilligan

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If You Missed These 17 Funny Parenting Tweets, We’ve Got You Covered

We don’t like to think of any parents who enjoy laughing at other parents’s predicaments to miss some of the best content on Twitter. It helps us get through the days, after all, whether we’re scrolling while we we wait for our kids to fall asleep or trying to ignore Mighty Pups as it plays for the one thousandth time.

And we think these 17 tweets are some you definitely can’t miss.

17. Your time will come, toddler parents.

You just have to wait for it wait for it.

16. I’m sure they’ll take it well.

Don’t you think?

15. A truly special moment in every man’s life.

I bet my dad felt SO SPECIAL when I was a teen.

14. It’s a good starter list. I’m sure he’s got more.

And how do YOU know there’s no one named Jacob?

13. I definitely don’t need to be paying for a gym membership then.

I have two of them and they say uh-oh all the time.

12. Times have changed, for sure.

Some for the better, but not all.

11. This list is a great start.

And also I’m stealing that the TV ran out of batteries.

10. He’s not wrong.

You might want to watch your back, but he’s not wrong.

9. Just a little something to make you feel better today.

Even if just for a moment.

8. It’s best to get that out of the way.

I don’t care how old you are.

7. Then you definitely have to make sure your parental controls are on the television.

Because you’ve definitely lost all control otherwise.

6. The toddler will have their revenge.

You don’t know when or how, but it will happen.

5. I’m sure deep down they’ll really miss you.

At least, that’s what I tell myself.

4. Literally whatever works, right?

I love that it was Spiderman’s sensibilities that did it.

3. Hey, the kid knows what he likes.

You’ve gotta admire it, really.

2. I thought that was the right way to communicate with the youths.

Was I wrong? I think not.

1. You’ve gotta admit it’s a fair question.

Because if not, she might need to pack one, right?

Tomorrow, it might be me – but today it’s not, and so I laugh!

What’s the funniest thing your kid has said or done lately? Let’s keep the laughs going in the comments!

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15 Greta Tweets About Parenting

If you’re a parent – or a nonparent who just finds parenting situations hilarious – on Twitter, you probably see halfway decent tweets come across your timeline at least a couple of times a day.

These 15 tweets aren’t just halfway decent, though, so if parenting tweets are your think, you definitely don’t want to miss these!

15. If you can convince yourself this means the food is wholesome, so much the better.

My 3yo calls it “Old McDonalds,” as well.

14. They’re all going to be fine.

Who has the time to police everything that goes into a kid’s mouth?

13. Sometimes games are a little too real.

But if you can sleep in jail, or she’ll bring you a snack, go along with it.

12. I think it changed all of us.

Our immune systems are forever altered.

11. Most “tried and true” parenting advice is hogwash.

It’s given by people who have forgotten what it’s like in the trenches.

10. It’s impossible to argue with this brilliance.

I’m definitely going to steal this idea, and you are, too.

9. It will definitely work.

According to Hollywood, sunglasses are all you need to look alive.

8. Tell your pregnant friends so they can avoid the disappointment.

Yes, this law also applies to movies. Maybe moreso.

7. It is a very versatile tune.

That you will never, ever want to hear again at some point in your life.

6. Next she’s going to want to speak to your manager.

That’s your wife, in case you weren’t keeping track.

5. Most likely on purpose.

Toddlers are a$sholes, don’t @ me.

4. You have to really pull out your acting skills.

They can tell if you’re not actually paying attention, I promise.

3. Sweetheart.

S/he would never guess those things were related. Bless.

2. What a world if we could all say that.

Full of sass and mismatched patterns. What could be better?

1. I mean they’re basically always talking to you.

It’s impossible to pay attention ALL the time.

These tweets set a high bar, for sure!

Which one made you laugh the hardest? If you can pick a favorite, share it with us in the comments!

The post 15 Greta Tweets About Parenting appeared first on UberFacts.

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Did You Miss These Recent Parenting Tweets? We’ve Got You Covered!

If you’re anything like me, you follow several hilarious accounts on Twitter that are dedicated to making us all laugh about the slog that is the daily parenting battle.

How else shall we get through it, besides laughing (or crying or drinking) together?

We won’t, which is why we didn’t want you to miss these 13 super funny and relatable tweets.

13. I think it’s just called “owning a toddler.”

I’m hoping 4 is the magic number?

12. All of those brave, clueless souls flocking to the campgrounds.

You think cooking three meals a day, plus snacks, at HOME is hard?

11. Every single time you think they might be ready for a big kid cup.

Spoiler alert: They are not ready.

10. I would have no clue.

That’s what my husband is for, I guess.

9. Show, don’t tell.

It’s the best way to get your point across.

8. I’m sure your father will take you.

He already does whenever he’s in charge for five minutes.

7. This is the way it should be.

It’s no big deal and the noise is almost soothing if you ask me.

6. I’m filing this away for future use.

Parenting teens is going to be so fun!

5. The funniest things are amazing to them.

It’s always weird to think how many things are firsts for kids.

4. Tomorrow they will be cutting your self-esteem off at the knees.

That’s how kids roll, man. Don’t get comfortable.

3. We all know the truth.

But you should keep her guessing anyway.

2. I mean, that show is pretty amusing.

I’m guessing the 9yo’s information may not be as reliable, though.

1. I’m sure that seems true to them.

Time for a history lesson, perhaps. Or a rundown on our contemporary nightmare.

This is the kind of content I go to Twitter for, y’all!

Let us know which ones were your favorites down in the comments!

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Creepy Kid Tweets You Definitely Shouldn’t Read in the Dark

I don’t know why kids can be so incessantly creepy sometimes – they see things, they “remember” things, they tell you thinks, they sense things – but it seems to be something of a universal truth, doesn’t it?

So when @karnythia asked Twitter for stories about the creepiest thing a kid has ever said to them, well, people responded with some doozies. 

I’ll just be over here reading those under a blanket, yeah?

14. Well that’s not unsettling at all.

Maybe get him a train set to keep him happy.

13. I bet his parents have trouble finding babysitters.

I hope she got out of that basement immediately…or at all.

12. This is probably fake, right?

It’s still a pretty good story, though.

Image Credit: Twitter

11. When you want to think it’s sweet, but…

There’s also a ghost right there.

10. I feel like his future gf might need a warning.

“Everyone he likes.” Eep.

9. Excellent decision making there.

You can cleanse the closet later.

8. So many kids tell some version of this story.

I wonder where they hear it, or…you know.

7. He probably meant it in a sweet way…

Right? Make me feel better here.

6. Maybe it’s time to consider this who reincarnation thing?

Because kids seem to have boarded that train.

5. Kid knows how to take out the competition.

I’d keep an eye on that one.

4. Totally thought she was going to say “hair.”

Yeah, hide the knives.

3. I’m sure it was a coincidence.

But maybe call and exorcist, just in case.

2. What active imaginations they have.

Hahahahaha *looks behind me*

1. Just TRY to stop yourself from looking behind you.

You can’t. It’s impossible.

I am dreading the day one of my boys busts something like this out, because eek!

Has your kid ever said something to you that belongs on this list? Please tell us about it in the comments!

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16 Creepy Things Kids Have Said

Kids say crazy things, but before the internet, we had no way of knowing whether our child was the only devil in town or if it was relatively normal for our young children to make us sleep with one eye open.

Now there are Twitter users like Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia), who encourage their followers to relate the creepiest thing a kid has ever said to them – and get so many replies – so we can all be equally horrified.

It’s only fair, don’t you think?

16. They just seem to…know things.

If only everything they knew was this amazing.

15. This isn’t one of the most overtly horrifying ones.

But man, it definitely sent chills down my spine.

14. Sort of sweet and comforting.

Maybe pick up some sage just in case, though.

13. Wow. That is really something.

I hope they did some research? I need a followup!

12. “His heart is sore, too.”

I’m crying, y’all.

11. Yep, time to go.

But maybe get the name on the mausoleum first, for research?

10. Did she seem sad, or…?

That would have been a long 12 hours.

9. I bet she says that to all the mommies.

But seriously, so many kids who talk about their other lives.

8. Time to do a cleanse.

Or just have a chat with “guy.”

7. He seems too old to say random things.

I would have been asking some followups…once we were out of the woods and around other people.

6. She was the first one to know.

Was she right about the sisters, though?

5. How do you explain that?

I wonder if she told her brother…

4. Time for a trip to the library.

Because I would absolutely need to know and also have you read Wait Till Helen Comes?

3. Maybe she says that to all the girls…

But maybe she doesn’t.

2. Sometimes they just know what they need.

It’s creepy, but also helpful.

1. I love cicadas and this is a great way to describe them.

They sound like summer.

I am legit terrified and am just waiting for the first time my kid says something like this to me.

What would you add to this list? Scare us in the comments!

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Enjoy These 14 Tweets About Parenting

We really like to share the love with all of you, and when it comes to hilarious and true tweets about parenting, there are never enough to go around!

Parents need to know that others are in the same trenches they are – or have come out the other side safe and sound – and these 14 tweets will make you laugh, and then raise a glass.

14. Those poor sweet second babies.

Don’t even get us started on the ones after that.

13. I definitely don’t think it’s the former.

“Hot Cross Buns” could go either way.

12. It’s important to put them in their place.

And also to educate them on all things Star Wars.

11. All we want is to be away from the beings that made us a mother.

It’s not you, it’s us. Promise.

10. All life lessons are important.

Being frugal is a lesson, right?

9. And by “cool,” he means “eye opening.”

Who hasn’t called their mother to apologize at least once?

8. Always annoy your kids when you can.

The payback opportunities are endless.

7. Hey, that’s my size, too!

What a coincidence!

6. They never have any idea how it happened, either.

It’s a mystery but I guess we should have been watching them closer.

5. That child is going places.

I’m not sure where, but those feet have to be good for something.

4. Details, details.

It’s almost like he doesn’t WANT any empty house attention!

3. No, because none of the Frozen stories make sense.

Sorry not sorry y’all.

2. It is one of the laws of the universe.

And it works for anything and everything you promised to do.

1. Stepping on sucked-on oranges is my favorite.

Who doesn’t want to live in a house of horrors like this?

We’re all doing the thing, y’all, and in 18 years we’ll be the lame folks telling younger people to “cherish every moment.”

Just kidding. I solemnly swear I will never say that to anyone, and you should, too.

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Dads, Here Are Tips on How to Talk to Your Sons About Emotional Intelligence

Society has placed a premium on the stoic male figure for generations. The boy, the young man, the husband and father, the patriarch, who doesn’t cry. Doesn’t need anyone, never loses control over his emotions or his family. Who shoulders it all without help, without complaint.

A man who has friends, but ones he drinks beer with, or watches the game or coaches his children with, not men he talks to about anything of depth. Certainly not men he could hug, or cry in front of, or reach out to when it all got to be too much.

Those things have historically been left to the womenfolk, and men?

Image Credit: Pexels

They’re suffering for an inability to connect with themselves, and with others, and to recognize that being able to access one’s emotion makes him a healthy human being – nothing more, and nothing less.

Those stigmas, those expectations, are slowly starting to change. A generation of parents are focusing on emotional intelligence, on managing feelings instead of swatting in order to change behavior.

If you’re a man raising sons, I submit to you that there is no one more important in your boy’s, life. He’s watching you, learning and absorbing and forming expectations for himself, for his friends, for the world around him.

Here are some things to keep in mind when considering how to avoid the pitfalls of toxic masculinity in the. next generation.

1. Talk to your son the same way you would talk to a daughter.

Pay attention to what sort of messages they’re getting from society about what they should or shouldn’t be, and talk to them about why that is or isn’t correct, from your point of view.

Image Credit: Pexels

2. Bring up tough topics in situations where eye contact is easily avoided.

This is one of the best ways to engage a young boy in conversation. You can suggest something like a bike ride, but the fact is, you’ll likely find yourself in the car with your kids more often than not, and it’s a great place to “trap” them, but also let them not look at you when things get awkward.

3. Ask open ended questions.

This help the boys in your life develop a vocabulary they can use to discuss emotions. Girls tend to do this naturally with one another, but since boys typically don’t, parents need to put in the work.

4. Model being emotionally vulnerable and communicating frankly and honestly.

If you’re the primary male in your son’s (or another boy’s) life, don’t just talk like this when you’re with him – do it when you’re with your friends, your family, your wife, and your other children as well.

5. Avoid the pitfall of telling boys to act older.

When you’re telling a young boy to “get it together” or “stop overreacting” or that he’s “crying over nothing,” you’re telling him to be something he’s not. You want the kid to be able to trust you enough to express his emotions out loud.

6. Don’t let boys believe that it’s okay to power through all the time.

Be part of the change we all want to see in the world. Let your son know that it’s okay to take care of himself emotionally, mentally, as well as physically. Life sometimes necessarily puts those things on hold, but they need to know they need to take days to validate how things have impacted them emotionally.

Image Credit: Pexels

7. You’re not there to “fix” anything.

With kids, probably the most important thing to remember is that, when it comes to emotions and developing emotional intelligence is you’re there to be someone who, in that moment, is calm and supportive – someone who can hold the feelings that spill over so that the child doesn’t feel full to bursting – and someone who will just listen.

We all need that in our lives, and as you fathers are figuring out how to show your sons that fact, please remember that all of this advice applies to you, too.

Take care of yourselves, whether your boys or new fathers or mentors or grandfathers finding themselves with a second chance to shape a young life.

You won’t be able to take care of anyone else if you don’t secure your own mask first.

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Memes for People Who Are Firmly Aboard the Struggle Bus

We’re all on the struggle bus right now.

All of us. The bus has been upgraded to like a double-decker Greyhound situation and even then it’s insanely overcapacity, which just adds to the problem because WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ALL CLOSE TO EACH OTHER LIKE THAT.

I think my metaphor might have gotten away from me there. Just like my mental health has. At least I’ve got these struggle memes that I can look to for reassurance that I’m not the only one feeling this.

13. Goin’ down

Why have abs when you can take naps?

12. Glitter bomb

How come everything isn’t exactly what I want all the time?

11. A wrench in my plans

My smile is a lie and we both know it.

10. Low-effort

What’s the point in having robot butlers if we don’t let them live our lives for us?

9. Like and subscribe

You wanna know how I got these emotional scars?

8. So close

This feels like a very expensive and mean joke.

7. Yo, teach

How do you do, fellow kids?

6. Lightning round

When you’re too busy to get busy.

5. Play stupid games…

…win stupid prizes.

4. Small defiance

You can only push me around so far, Google.

3. Survival instinct

Sounds like you’re dating a psychopath but OK.

2. To the limit

What if I’m cute while I do it?

1. Missed opportunity

He’s literally sleeping on the chance of a lifetime.

Browsing struggle memes probably isn’t as effective as therapy, but it is considerably cheaper, so there’s that.

On a scale from 1 – 10, how aboard the struggle bus are you right now?

Talk it out in the comments.

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umblr Posts You Can Look at Instead of Stressing Out About Stuff

Want to take a tumble with me? By which I mean, we can look at all these neat Tumblr posts together.

Why? What did you think I meant? Get your mind out of the gutter, I hardly know you! Goodness.

While I’m recovering from your scandalous insinuations, let’s just check out these 10 funny posts.

10. Blackest Friday

This is kind of what it looks like all the time, tbh.

https://appleb18.tumblr.com/post/139367852255/sempaidoesntnoticeme-justbrosthings

9. Closer

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend…

https://hulkahoop.tumblr.com/post/88769803375/tomrny-doctorcanon-tomrny-do-you-know-how

8. Dog days

Whatever. I don’t even like that leg. Take it.

https://melanshi.tumblr.com/post/136193451119/spillywolf-when-you-have-anxiety-over

7. Live and let die

Either this person doesn’t get coffins or we need to call the police immediately.

https://katie-drou11.tumblr.com/post/108501579336/mythotsarestars-spicy-vagina-tacos-who-lives

6. Aggressive hydration

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.

https://heart.tumblr.com/post/173613993770/wam-bam-jimmy-jam-lionesshart

5. Winging it

Maybe all the artists were just giving their subjects Red Bull.

https://gayarsonist.tumblr.com/post/622106968906252288/gayarsonist-my-favorite-thing-about-humanity-is

4. Coming of angst

Put your forehead against the glass and listen to that song that gets you in your feels.

https://hreshtak.tumblr.com/post/187436135764

3. Server salvation

He’s up there pwning angels now…

https://lilingratenasty.tumblr.com/post/175224564295/pinkie-whitelloon-aeonlamb-when-a-gamer-dies

2. National pride

I hate when people say “I’m American.” No reason I’m just generally very annoyed with my own country.

https://spanishskulduggery.tumblr.com/post/120122171797/i-hate-when-people-say-im-spanish-like-no

1. Bucket lift

We’re shutting down science. The memes were right. It has officially gone too far and it needs to be stopped.

https://forgetmaxx.tumblr.com/post/147720436412/ketchuprocket-all-the-other-humans-fucking

Hope you enjoyed those as much as I did. Come on back soon and we’ll look at some more together. I mean yanno…if you wanna…*blush.* *bashful kick.*

When you go on Tumblr, what sorts of things are you hoping to see?

Tell us your thoughts in the comments!

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A Company Wanted to Keep Worker’s Invention After Firing Him, So He Got Sweet Revenge

Some companies really don’t appreciate their staffers…even though they like what they have to offer.

Take, for example, the story of this Redditor. He designed a program to help a company he worked for to run its manufacturing more effectively. The company didn’t pay him for it but allowed him to tweak it on the factory floor and use it in real-life scenarios.

Photo Credit: Reddit

You would think that, if it worked well the person who invented it would be promoted, or the company would buy the invention outright.

Well, neither thing happened—he was let go of instead.

Photo Credit: Reddit

The worker was willing to sell the company the program and help them to configure the source code to meet their needs and said as much in his exit interview, but the owners had other ideas.

Photo Credit: Reddit

The company ended up paying for that decision dearly and asked him to come back to fix the program.

As he walked through the factory, he noticed something.

Photo Credit: Reddit

After about a month, the company was desperate to make a deal, but he had already moved on to a better job where his system is being utilized once again by people who appreciate it and him.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This is another lesson in karma—how you treat someone who’s working for you can make all the difference in the world when that relationship is over.

Readers shared their own experiences.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And contracts can be a very pesky thing for employees…

Photo Credit: Reddit

But employees can be a pesky thing too… because once they’re gone…

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this got people thinking…

Photo Credit: Reddit

Others appreciated the karmic retribution.

Photo Credit: Reddit

But note to self… create paper trails…

Photo Credit: Reddit

We don’t think it would have hurt this company to acknowledge what this person brought to the table, and the owners would have spent less energy doing the right thing!

Have you ever been treated terribly in a job, and if so, what was the outcome?

Let us know in the comments below!

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