Author: Matt Gilligan

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Hilarious Tweets About Married Life That Will Probably Look Familiar

If you’re married, we think that the tweets you’re about to see will make you laugh, shake your head, snort, and possibly even cry.

Why?

Because they are TOTALLY ACCURATE.

And what else can you really ask for in a marriage tweet, right? Darn right!

Hey, let’s be honest. Folks have been cooped up in their houses for quite a while now and it’s apparent that things might be a little bit…touchy out there. But we want to bring the tension down just a little bit with some funny tweets.

So let’s quit beating around the bush and get to the laughter, okay? You can start…NOW!

1. He better keep his eyes open.

Heads up, buddy!

2. What will be it be for tonight?

You really only have two choices.

3. I feel a fight coming on.

Uh oh…here come the fireworks.

4. It was right in front of your face!

Geez…what’s his deal?

5. I’m not sure that’s a compliment.

I’m just sayin’…

6. That escalated quickly.

Things sure changed, huh?

7. You shouldn’t have done that.

It will never be forgotten.

8. You better make it happen.

Or you’re gonna have one very annoyed wife.

9. He’s clearly not paying attention.

Totally clueless…

10. Uh oh…you’re in trouble now.

This is pretty funny, though.

11. What are you, an idiot?!?!

You made the wrong choice…again.

12. The thrill is gone.

You need to get that spark back!

13. She’s very versatile.

Hey, I’m impressed!

How about you?

Are you married? Single? Looking to mingle?

Give us a life update in the comments. Thanks!

The post Hilarious Tweets About Married Life That Will Probably Look Familiar appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious and Insightful Tweets From “Thoughts of Dog”

Don’t try to tell me that you’ve never sat around and wondered just what exactly your dog was thinking about…

I know I definitely have before!

And, since we haven’t trained dogs to talk yet, we need to rely on the “Thoughts of Dog” Twitter account to help us what’s going on inside those canine brains.

Are you ready to get deep and go on a fantastic voyage of discovery? So am I! Let’s do it now!

1. Time to create some chaos.

You knew this was coming!

2. What the hell happened?

Why am I not getting the attention I need?

3. Just take your time…

Even though your owner will be annoyed.

4. I think he’s talking about his toy.

And yes, it needs a bath.

5. You just threw it all away.

Why did you do that?!?!

6. Let’s go down the list.

It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?

7. Inside or outside?

There’s more to it than that…

8. It’s your time to shine.

This is not a drill!

9. He’s your best pal!

But not all dogs think this way…

10. This is what I’ll be doing.

Awwwwww. That’s cute.

11. It’s gonna be a great day!

And we hope you get all the attention you need.

12. Let me introduce myself.

Just don’t eat it!

Do you have any dogs?

Big dogs? Little dogs? Fluffy dogs? short-haired dogs?

If the answer is YES, please share some photos of them in the comments and introduce us to them.

And tell us a little bit about them, as well!

Thanks a lot!

The post Hilarious and Insightful Tweets From “Thoughts of Dog” appeared first on UberFacts.

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Posts About the Annoying Customers Retail Workers Have to Deal With

Customer service really isn’t a whole lot of fun…

Well, at least my job experiences weren’t. I worked in grocery stores and restaurants for a long time and, if you’ve had similar gigs, you know that the general public can be a real handful.

And they can get on your nerves in a major way.

Take a look at these things that customer service workers really don’t like and be sure not to do any of them next time you go into a store, okay?

1. I don’t think that belongs there.

This drives workers insane.

This sure looks right to me… from Target

2. Also, never, ever do this to a retail worker.

If you do, you’ll be cursed for life.

Especially in appliances from Target

3. Out of my way!

Move it, move it!

Old but gold from Target

4. Please don’t do that.

How rude can you get?

Dear customers, this is what happens when you reach around the shields to help yourself. Please stop. from starbucks

5. Just go ahead and put that anywhere.

This is a big NO-NO.

My biggest pet peeve from retailmemes

6. Ummm, what about me?

People really blow my mind sometimes.

7. Uh oh, now you have to think.

And nobody wants that!

Brain.exe has stopped working. from retailhell

8. Let’s not even go there, okay?

Math is not my strong suit.

9. YOU. You’re why I’m here.

Any other questions?

10. I’m not sure how this helps me.

People, you’re really blowing it.

11. Never heard that one before.

I guess you just have to fake the big laugh.

12. No, I’m just in here hanging out.

Is that weird to spend time in stores I don’t work in?

How about you?

Have you ever had any interesting experiences with customers?

We want the good, the bad, and the ugly!

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post Posts About the Annoying Customers Retail Workers Have to Deal With appeared first on UberFacts.

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Let’s Take a Look at These Super-Duper Fluffy Cats

Yo! Bring on the floof!

That’s what I like to say…to other people and to myself…

Is that weird?

Ah, the hell with it! Who cares if it is weird? I want to see fluffy cats and I want to see them now!

And I’m in for a huge treat, and so are you. Because these fluff-balls are some of the most adorable kitties that you’re gonna see anywhere on Earth.

Let’s take a look!

And remember to yell out “Bring on the floof!” while you’re enjoying these pics! There ain’t no shame in your game!

1. This one is a double threat.

Floof and THOSE EYES. Wow.

I am sure you’ll fall in love with this cutie at first sight… from Floof

2. I love the name, by the way.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a dog or a cat named Cereal.

Cereal in winter from Floof

3. Perfect for cuddling.

No doubt about that.

My huge floofy boi cuddling with me ? from Floof

4. Get out in nature.

Enjoy your frolic in the snow!

Happy floof in the snow ! from Floof

5. Sorry, you can’t have anymore.

You sure are cute, though.

Someone ate all his Halloween candy already ? from Floof

6. This cat might turn out to be PURE EVIL.

But in the meantime, enjoy his company!

I Am the Night from Floof

7. This one is almost all floof.

I wonder what the other 10% is…

90% Floof from Floof

8. You just want to pick him up!

And cuddle with him for days!

he’s as soft as he looks ❤ from Floof

9. You might need a haircut soon…

On second thought, never mind. The floof is good.

Susanna’s head is slowly being engulfed by her own floof. from Floof

10. That’s a good-looking kitty!

And she seems polite, too.

Daintily crossing her floofy feet. from Floof

11. Perfect for snoozing.

What a good companion.

Boyfriend and floof take a snooze from Floof

Do you have any kitties in your house?

If so, please share some pics with us in the comments.

We can’t wait to see them!

The post Let’s Take a Look at These Super-Duper Fluffy Cats appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Tweets About Marriage That Are Right on the Money

I think that married folks are experiencing one of two situations during this crazy pandemic and lockdown: they’re either falling back in love with their spouses, or they have been secretly researching the best divorce lawyers in their area…

Hey, it’s a tough time!

But let’s hope that we can all keep our heads together for a little while longer until the world gets back to normal again, okay?

And, in the meantime, have a few laughs at these hilarious tweets about living that married life.

1. That sounds SO romantic.

Is this all you dreamed it would be?

2. Things are about to get very ugly.

Why are men so obsessed with the trash and recycling?

3. You have found Mr. Right.

Guys like this don’t grow on trees.

4. Yeah, that seems about right.

That doesn’t seem like THE WORST idea in the world…

5. Can we please find a middle ground here?

This is quickly spinning out of control.

6. Sounds like he’s having a really great time.

Whether he likes it or not…

7. Hey o! Here’s a zinger!

Taking it all in from up high.

8. That’ll show her who’s the boss.

Never mess with the dishwasher unless you want things to get really ugly.

9. Was it the mustard again?

I hate it when that happens!

10. He totally gets it now.

I hate to break it to you, but…

11. One more sound and we’re done here.

And I mean done FOREVER.

12. I’m not sure what you’re talking about.

Now you went and made it even worse. Good job.

Marital bliss strikes again!

How about you? Are you and your partner getting along during the pandemic or are you driving each other crazy?

Talk to us in the comments and give us a life update.

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This Social Media Account Shares the Weirdest Weather in Russia

I can think of few places I’d rather NOT be during the winter than Russia.

Just thinking about the word “Siberia” makes my feet cold.

And when you look at photos of everyday Russian people, a lot of them look pretty…well, not incredibly happy all the time. And I think at least some of that has to do with the crazy and terrible weather those folks deal with year in and year out.

I don’t have any scientific data to back this up, it’s just my hunch…

Let’s take a look at photos of some wild weather that’s going on over in Russia.

1. Magical light pillars.

I’ve never seen something like that before.

2. How about some Lenticular clouds.

Look! Up in the sky!

3. Get a load of these frost flowers.

They’re actually very beautiful.

4. The geometry of frost.

That looks like plastic. Doesn’t look real.

5. A complex sun halo.

Cool! I need to read up on these!

6. They have volcanoes in Russia?

I had no idea!

7. That just looks like a nightmare.

How do you even begin to get the ice off?

8. Beautiful light pillars.

I wonder what causes these?

9. That’s pretty scary!

I’ve heard this happens from time to time.

10. Looks like something you might see in the Midwest.

There’s a twister coming!

11. It’s very pretty, isn’t it?

Feels like you’re at the end of the world.

12. That is stunning!

I love it!

What’s the weirdest weather you’ve ever seen before?

Talk to us in the comments.

And share some pics with us if you got ’em! Thanks!

The post This Social Media Account Shares the Weirdest Weather in Russia appeared first on UberFacts.

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“Thoughts of Dog” Tweets That Are Humorous and Insightful

Even if you’re not a big Twitter person, you should really subscribe to the social media platform so you can follow a great account called “Thoughts of Dog.”

Because, let’s get real, who doesn’t want to know what’s going on in our dog’s head, right?

I know I do!

And that’s exactly what this account does. So wonder no more, dog owners, because this is the real deal. Let’s take a look.

1. The rarest sit.

Have you seen it in the wild?

2. No more fireworks, people!

The pooches really don’t enjoy that.

3. That did not work out very well.

What the heck is going on here?

4. Waiting for the food to drop.

Any minute now…

5. Those are the kind of people you need to be around.

The kind that helps you out!

6. Bring on the pancakes.

You know you want ’em!

7. Narrowed it down.

Makes sense to me.

8. Are you sure you’re helping?

I’m just sayin’…

9. We could all use some more cuddles.

Especially from a dog!

10. Letting it all hang out.

Strut your stuff!

11. Bring your human to work day.

I like the sound of that!

12. Just do your best.

We’re all rooting for you!

Okay, you know the drill…

Now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, introduce us to your pooches and share some photos with us.

We want to meet fat dogs, skinny dogs, white dogs, black dogs, all the dogs you can imagine!

Thanks, fam! We love hearing from you!

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An Artist Took Special Revenge on a Cheapskate “Time Waster”

Ever since eBay and Craigslist revolutionized person-to-person online sales, the internet has been a rather valuable tool for those with something to sell in a hurry.

But there are downsides, too. Connecting with strangers on the internet can be perilous regardless of your activity, it can be a downright nightmare when you get money involved.

But Reddit user and artist Ryan_is_my_real_name (who, we presume, is a guy named Ryan) found a way to turn the tables on that nightmare and exact careful vengeance on someone who seemed bent on disrespecting the marketplace.

And by careful, we mean careful. Meticulous. Patient. Literally calculated.

It’s the kind of story that truly belongs in r/ProRevenge.

Chapter 1: The Auction

Don’t mess with artists, man.

Chapter 2: The Time Waster

Whatever you do, don’t be this guy.

Chapter 3: One Year Later

Whatever became of our beloved Time Waster?

Chapter 4: Sweet Revenge

The care that goes into this is what’s really impressive.

Chapter 5: The Car

This guy is going places.

Chapter 6: Annoying, Isn’t It?

What a hilarious nightmare this is.

What’s the moral of the story?

Just don’t bid on things you have no intention of buying. Literally nobody benefits from that. There are far better and less harmful ways to cure your boredom.

Have you ever taken “pro revenge” on someone?

Tell us the sordid tale in the comments.

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Memes to Get You Hooked on the Good Stuff

Hey, kid. You like memes? You ever tried any? Here, I got some for ya.

First taste is free. And so are all subsequent tastes, because that’s how memes work.

12. Sacred things

I mustn’t lose any of these, my most prized possessions.

Via: Someecards

11. The great fall

Buddy if you could just give me a heads up instead of making me go through all this, it would be much appreciated.

Via: Someecards

10. Full gull

This bird has got what we call “beach cred.”

Via: Someecards

9. Nice post

This is either the beginning or the end of a very interesting story.

Via: Someecards

8. Cinematic realism

It’s a fun way to pass out so you don’t have to see the end.

Via: Someecards

7. Poopy puppy

Just wait ’till there’s a bathroom emergency and then we’ll see who’s laughing.

Via: Someecards

6. Totally exhausted

I don’t know who has ever been impressed by how loud someone’s vehicle is.

Via: Someecards

5. Groan adults

Please don’t make me do things, I didn’t sign up for that.

Via: Someecards

4. A long story

My story will go on and on…

Via: Someecards

3. Far too late

My head hits the pillow when the sun goes down, thank you very much.

Via: Someecards

2. Cowbird

The kind of breaking story that we can all get behind.

Via: Someecards

1. You got served

What kind of monster would use this and only this?

Via: Someecards

Now that you’re hooked on the good stuff, we’ll expect to see you back for more soon. Don’t worry, there’s plenty where that came from.

What are your favorite kinds of memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets That Prove Dogs Are Simply the Best

General Charles De Gaulle once said, “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”

Which makes sense. I mean, you don’t have to be affected by the horrors of war to know that dogs are better than people.

All you have to do is like, look at a puppy. And then look at a human. Which one of them are you more likely to start petting? Exactly.

Here are ten tweets from people who know all about the dog life.

10. Super cool

Hey, there’s a little somethin’ extra, just for you.

9. Chill pills

Not sure this is veterinarian level advice but it sounds like fun so I’ll take it.

8. Picture perfect

And yet when I do the same thing but with pictures of people I’m a “stalker” who “needs to go to jail.”

7. The Stick of Destiny

It’s like Xeno’s paradox, but with sticks, and dogs, so better.

6. Dog day afternoon

This is a perfect list, where do I apply?

5. Barks and bites

Thank you for bringing your delightful chaos yet again in our home, pupper.

4. A leg up

I feel like one of them is getting the wrong end of this partnership.

3. Storage capacity

At the time of writing the top tier iPhones have roughly enough storage capacity for 100,000 doggo pictures. You’re probably set?

2. Have your cake

From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs.

1. Suit of armor

Never fear, m’lady. I am sir Goodboi of Heckinshire.

Now somebody get me a dog. I need to pet one. IMMEDIATELY.

What’s your dog like?

Tell us all about them in the comments.

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