These 15+ Kids Have No Idea How Hilarious They Are

Kids can say some truly hilarious things without even meaning to. I mean sure, sometimes they’re inopportune and inappropriate and we can’t actually laugh at them in the moment, but that doesn’t make them any less funny.

Lucky for you, these 17 kids aren’t yours. So feel free to go ahead and laugh right away.

#17. “We had a local elementary school decorate paper bags for Earth Day, and I found this one leftover.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Complete tragedy that this bag wasn’t featured front and center.

#16. “My friend’s son struggling to pick up a book.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Hey, they can’t all be geniuses.

#15. RULES ARE RULES, KEN.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#14. “I, too, have a daughter going places.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Such a proud moment.

#13. “My friend got her daughter’s basketball team pictures today.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Framers. Every. One.

#12. “When your 3-year-old tells the man at McDonald’s that his pants are falling down.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

He calls ’em like he sees ’em.

#11. “My 11-year-old has started drawing fat, middle-aged Batman at the beach and it’s everything you never knew you needed in life.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

I’m going to need this movie adaptation immediately.

#10. “My daughter has been picking her own clothes and watching her big brother get on the bus.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

This picture is perfection.

#9. “I might need to have a talk with my daughter, but I’m not sure what I’d even say.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Maybe just save yourself.

#8. “Toddler was asked to feed the cat.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

You’re going to need to be more specific.

#7. “This kid was a fart for Halloween.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

First, farts are funny. Second, never squash anyone’s creativity, man.

#6. Welp, we had a good run.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#5. “At five months old my son already has the best school photo ever.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

How will he ever top this?

#4. “How I find out that my son tried to access my tablet.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

The progression is everything.

#3. “My 7-year-old sister loves dinosaurs, but my parents got her a dollhouse for Christmas. This is what I came home to tonight.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

Hey, dinosaurs need homes too.

#2. “My daughter’s Christmas list.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

If you don’t get her a cat after all that, you’ve got no heart.

#1. I’d say call that a parenting win and move on.

Photo Credit: Twitter

I mean…smart kid.

These are almost enough to make me want to have another child. Almost.

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15 People Describe the Scariest Sound They’ve Ever Heard

Noises have the power to terrify us in unexpected ways. Our minds can come up with some truly terrifying images based on sound alone.

These AskReddit users share their personal stories. We dare you not to get freaked out.

1. Poor bunny

“I used to live with my sister during my last teenage years. She had this Holland Flop bunny as her pet. He was a sweetheart that loved to cuddle. One day, I was getting out of the shower and I heard this absolutely blood curdling scream. I wrapped a towel on quickly and dashed into the living room to see what was up. The poor bunny had trapped himself and gotten tangled up in some headphones. I had to calm him down and unwrap him.”

2. Hissing

“I remember when I was in middle school, I was working on a project that involved a poster. I worked on it earlier in the day, leaned it against my bedroom wall, and forgot about it. Later that night, it fell down making a long sliding sound down the wall. Being almost asleep, I thought it sounded like an animal hissing very loud. I don’t think my feet touched the ground on my way out of the room.”

3. Click click

“When I was 7-8 years old, a neighbor gave me one of those large 3′ dolls with realistic hair and blinking eyes with long lashes. I think she also walked if you held her arms.

Went to sleep that night with the doll sitting in my little rocking chair. At some point during the night, I woke up and heard this soft ‘click click’ sound and realized that the doll was sitting there blinking at me. Screamed bloody murder, made my parents put the doll outside the house that night and the next day, give it back to the neighbors.

I still don’t like blinking dolls.”

4. Bomb

“Used to go camping with my parents and grandparents when i was 12.

Sleeping in our caravan 2AM-ish, grandfather wakes us all up screaming “BOMB”, we were all confused and then we hear an explosion, we put on our shoes and right before we get outside we hear another bigger explosion.

The camping has like streets with caravans on both sides lined up, what happened was (we learned this the next day) someone had a short-circuit with his fridge in his caravan and this started a fire that reached the gas canister.

That was the first explosion (and furthest away) that woke my grandfather up, he said he recognized that sound from WW2 and it shot him right out of his bed.

The explosion set fire to the next caravan in line on our street for the 2nd explosion that was closer, it was nearing us.

Repeat for the next in line which was getting close for the final biggest explosion we heard.

Luckily we had taken out the gas canisters immediately and put them further away on the concrete.

Our caravan melted from the heat but the explosions stopped.

Had to talk to cops about what i saw with my parents at like 3-4AM when i was 12, that was a scare and a half for us.”

5. Trash can kitty

“I came home from work a little earlier than usual one day. It was dark in the house and dead silent, except for this weird, rhythmic crinkling sound. I stumbled around the couch to find one of my cats lying on her side with her head buried in a snack size potato chip bag. She was stuck and she was suffocating. I ripped the bag away and saw her foaming at the mouth, eyes rolling around in her head, terrified. She took a deep breath and within seconds was breathing normally again.

We always joked about her being trash can kitty because she would eat pretty much anything, but apparently that day, she’d actually made it into the trash can. We got a can with a lid after that.

I always shudder when I think about that noise and what I would have found if I’d stayed at the office a minute later.”

6. Awful

“I was on the phone with my mom while she got in to a bad car accident. I still remember her screaming. I was at home with a broken ankle at the time. It was horrific and I still think about it today (even though it was months ago).

I’m so grateful she is alive and walked away with only some bad bruising, even though the car was destroyed. I just felt so helpless not being able to do anything in that moment. Thankfully 911 was called immediately.”

7. Ghost

“I went up to stay with my mother after my dad died for a few weeks. She went out to run some errands with my aunt so I was home alone. I hear a familiar sound of my dad getting out of his computer chair upstairs in his bedroom. I hear him walk over to the door, open then close it, walk into the hall and down then up the stairs. He then closed the door.

It scared to hell out of me. I couldn’t move. If that was an encounter with a ghost, I don’t want another one.”

8. Alarms

“Not long after the 2011 earthquake in Japan, I was living Tokyo and was traveling daily on the Japanese metro. Most Japanese residents have a earthquake detector phone app that sends off an alarm approximately 10 sec before you feel the shaking of an earthquake.

I was riding the busy keiyo line that is deep under Tokyo Station in a packed carriage , when the train stops unexpectedly and suddenly every person’s phone on train suddenly starts playing the same alarm.

There was at least one hundred people in my carriage and hearing a chorus of devices suddenly begin to sing in unison of your impending doom while we are around 8 stories underground will be an experience I won’t soon forget.

Thankfully after the alarm, the quake started and wasn’t anything more than a light after shock, but that 10sec wait was intense. No one said a thing, no one panicked and when the shaking stopped the train silently restarted and we continued our journey.”

9. Death rattle

“Doing CPR on my mom’s third husband after finding him on the kitchen floor. I’d just stopped by and walked in on my mom, frantic on the phone with 911.

Blood was coming from his mouth and he had no pulse. He was turning cold. But my mom being an RN for the last million years yelled at me to start chest compressions.

His eyes were vacant, but I slapped him and yelled his name and started explaining that I was going to start compressions. It was something I recalled from class to help keep focused on the task. This was happening. I was in the zone. Hero mode activated. Then I started.

With the first push, blood sprayed from his mouth and he made this raspy sound. By the second or third compression, I felt his ribs break. The sound with every push was nauseating.

I wanted to puke. I wanted to cry.

At some point, a cop walked in. I screamed for help and the officer told me I could stop and that my stepdad was dead.

The scene played over in my dreams for weeks after that, but with variations. He was trapped under ice in one. In another, logs were being sawn nearby. In both, the activity mimicked the raspy cough his body made.”

10. Nightmare

“Sleep paralysis with auditory hallucinations.

Scariest ones:

-A conversation between two inhuman sounding men about how they want to kill me. It was hard to wake up from this one.

-An excruciatingly loud scream. It sounds like a mix between a person and some type of animal. Repeating over and over.

-A man laughing, but it’s really loud and starts becoming distorted.”

11. Yikes

“The sound of a person hitting the pavement after falling 11 stories.”

12. Frightening!

“Hedgehogs mating outside my window, ran out with a knife thinking my cat was being murdered.”

13. Dead quiet

“My neighbor has a horse which I fully am ignorant of the existence of 99% of the time. One night it’s dark, I’m walking to my truck. Turn to the door….

And let me elaborate. It’s one of those just dead quiet nights, no noise.

Then the horse did one of those lip flappy exhales.

I’m like oh, yeah, so this is the end of Jake.

Just like that gypsy woman said.”

14. Terrifying

“Sounds outside our bedroom window, like someone muttering to themselves. I convinced my husband it was nothing. We kept hearing it at night. It was terrifying.

Turned out it was a severely mentally ill man squatting on the property adjacent to us. When we called the police to ask what to do, they said, “Oh, yeah, that’s so-and-so. Whatever you do, don’t confront him, he’s very violent. It took six officers to bring him down last time he had an episode!” Then they stood on our porch and yelled at him that ‘these people here are complaining about how loud you are, so keep it down!’ “

15. No thanks!

“Hearing a mountain lion scream/roar in the White Mountains of New Mexico while camping when I was like 13. No thank you!”

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10+ Magical Facts You Might Not Know About Hocus Pocus

For 25 years, kids, and many of their parents, have made watching Hocus Pocus a part of their Halloween tradition. When it burst onto the movie scene in 1993, it was the culmination of almost a decade of work, but what fans probably remember best are the fabulous performances of Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker as the Sanderson sisters. It might not have made a killing at first, but Hocus Pocus went on to become a cult classic that is sure to last for many more generations.

There are, however, some fun Easter eggs that even big fans of the movie may not be aware of. If you think you’re one of them, keep reading and see if any of the below surprise you!

1. The fountain Dani and Allison celebrate the witches’ death around is the fountain from Friends.

Photo Credit: NBC

Hey, both groups are still having a great time, right?

2. Each of the little witches who takes the sister’s brooms, look just like little versions of the grownup sisters.

Photo Credit: Disney

Okay, this one’s a little obvious, but still cute, right?

3. They made 7 statues for the scene where Bette Midler’s character turns to dust in the sunlight.

Photo Credit: Laughing Place

That’s a lot of creepy Bette Midler face.

4. How did Winifred know to ask Max about his driver’s license, as cars didn’t exist when she died?

Photo Credit: Disney

She JUST learned what asphalt was, for Pete’s sake!

5. Kathy Najimy watches the movie every year, and Midler said it’s one of her favorite films she’s ever worked on.

Photo Credit: Disney

Can you blame them? Look at those costumes!

6. Leonardo DiCaprio was almost Max, but he chose to do What’s Eating Gilbert Grape instead.

Photo Credit: US Magazine

I mean, the latter did get him an Oscar nomination, so I think it was a good decision.

7. Rosie O’Donnell was set to play Mary Sanderson, but she was worried the role would be bad for her image, so Kathy Najimy got the gig.

Photo Credit: factinate

Bet she’s kicking herself now!

8. The film was set in 1993, and while there is a full moon in the movie, there wasn’t one in real life. The next Halloween full moon isn’t until 2020!

Photo Credit: The Witch Next Door

You gotta have a full moon when creepy witches are involved, though.

9. Jason Marsden voiced Binx the cat, not Sean Murray. Producers thought Murray sounded too modern.

Photo Credit: Disney

I guess his costume and boyish good looks were distracting enough to make him believable while he was in human form.

10. Binx was portrayed by 9 different cats.

Photo Credit: Disney

You know, because cats have nine lives…I’ll see myself out.

11. The Zippo Max grabbed from the gift store to bring down the “burning rain of death” would not have had fuel in it. Just something to ponder.

Photo Credit: factinate

No matter how well you think you know a movie, there are always surprises!

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12+ Police Officers Tell Their ‘Calling All Units’ Stories

Day after day, police officers put their lives on the line to protect citizens.

In this AskReddit article, police officers share their most hair-raising “calling all units” stories, so buckle up.

1. Armed robbery

“An armed robbery at the government’s financial institution.

But, unlike the stuff they show in movies, we went in silent, spread around without approaching the premises too close and got all four of them by intercepting their car later on. One of our detectives came in an unmarked car and parked a few cars behind the vehicle with the engine running and the nervous driver behind the wheel and followed them.

We learned about the car thanks to the off-duty officer who was in the right place at the right time to notice the suspicious behavior (the car was parked in an unusual way among everything else that indicated to him that something fishy is going on).

Although, we were lucky in some sense because it took them ages to do what they came to do. Regardless, it all went smoothly and with no casualties.”

2. Natural disaster

“I’ve served as both a probation officer and police officer. There was a natural disaster in the area on a weekend. I got a call from the chief probation officer telling me that we were designated as disaster workers and we were to report for duty. I was an armed field unit officer at the time and when we got into work all the armed officers were told we were going to patrol the disaster area. We were ordered to put on all of our marked clothes and report to an area for patrol.

It was a bit weird as all our cars were unmarked and had no lights. We had radios and cages in the cars but not the other equipment as we normally didn’t need it. The patrolling was fairly uneventful and we didn’t encounter any looters but we put in a number of 13-hour days. The community needed every armed LEO they could get and we did our part.”

3. Three times

“It’s happened three times that I’ve been on duty that I can recall. The first time was a riot at a local theme park, some idiot kids put out that there was going to be a fight in the parking lot and for some reason that meant several hundred high school age kids all gathered in the lot and got into a huge brawl. The first few officers responding got surrounded in the chaos and they put out an officer in trouble, and because of the size of the crowd, they asked for officers from all over the county.

The others were officer down calls where the gunman was still at large.”

4. DUI gone bad

“A police officer here, I’ve heard it over the radio many times but never used it my self. We are issued with a button on our radios that causes all radios to beep and vibrate, so it is instantly noticed by every officer in the area. Most memorable was a regular DUI stop that turned south resulting in the officer being attacked and having his leg broken.

It was towards the end of the shift and most of the officers were finishing up on paperwork at the station. As soon as it went off every officer in the station left within 10 seconds of hearing it. The suspect was quickly detained and arrested soon after.”

5. Riot

“Former cop here. The all-units call was basically a riot at a large nightclub in a very rough area of the neighboring city. Once things were finally calmed down and the dozen or so people were taken away, my boss wanted us all back in our city. I was amazed at not only how many cops showed up but from where….counties and towns I had never heard of before. I looked up a few at the end of shift and some came from an hour plus away.”

6. Stabbed

“We had an all-units call to one of our own stabbed. Everyone went hell for leather to get there, to find one of our guys on the floor with a stab wound to the stomach. We searched everywhere for the suspects and anyone matching the descriptions was arrested. So, it turns out the officer did it to himself.

He’d heard you couldn’t be fired from work if you were injured in the line of duty (he was under investigation for a minor issue, not anything involving the public. Just breach of procedure.) I don’t think I’ve ever been so disgusted with a colleague in my life. All the other “all units” calls I’ve been to have been genuine and luckily my colleagues unhurt.

I almost called one myself when someone pulled out a sawn-off shotgun at me. Luckily that panned out OK!”

7. Wedding brawl

“A large wedding in Brooklyn—it was at midnight, so there weren’t that many units, to begin with. The families started warring with each other and when we arrived they, of course, turned on us. Everyone, I mean EVERYONE, was brawling and we felt like Custer at Little Big Horn.

We turned out three cars that night and one of them was out on a homicide so we’re just yelling “Keep ’em coming, Central!” The duty captain (the supervisory officer for the patrol boro) shows up, looks around, sees that this is quickly becoming a riot and calls a citywide 10-13, which means a designated number of cars from every borough task force in the city.”

8. Kidnapping

“When I was working for a small town police department I received a phone call from our chief of police, who was off that day. He said a woman showed up on his front lawn saying she had just escaped from her kidnappers. Long story short she said something about him (her kidnapper) having a gun and threatening to use it if she tried to escape.

Me, being young (20 at the time) and oblivious to what I was actually putting out on the radio, called out to the on-duty officer about the situation. My wording must have been terrible because I received radio messages from county and state police stating they were en route to the chief’s residence. They thought someone had come to our chief of polices home with a gun and was holding him hostage. The best part of this story is I gave the wrong address and all these cop cars from city county and state were blocking off the street one block over.”

9. Sad story

“I recently had an “all available units respond” call for an unresponsive child.

My partner and I have never driven so fast. When we got there, all you could smell was brakes and exhaust fumes from our cruisers.

We entered the house and found the child: a one-year-old boy. We performed CPR. He was transported. He didn’t make it.

It’s hard to be criticized by the media and the general public when these are the things we deal with.”

10. He’s got a blade!

“I’m an officer in a courtroom, so our all-units calls are usually for disruptive spectators (victim and defendant families fighting out arguing) or defendants acting up in front of a judge or whole being taken back to jail. Another courthouse nearby had an incident where a defendant produced a blade from his rectum and tried to slash his lawyer’s throat while in the courtroom. One I was involved in, a guy was a known problem in corrections custody but somehow he got free of them and fought his way into the courtroom I was working in.

It’s the most comforting sight when you make that 10-13 call and in the midst of the fight, you see the small army of uniforms come running in to help.”

11. A stain on the department

“Had an all units call, it was horrifying, turned out an off-duty cop was drinking and driving and hit three cars on a bridge. It was chaos, many things flew out of the car, belongings scattered everywhere. He did time, lost his job obviously, stained the department.”

12. Bomb scare

“Retired cop here. I have more than a few ‘Everyone get here now’ calls in my time. Most stemmed from a large gathering that was starting to turn not so peaceful.

My last major one, we had a bomb that was planted in a car in a parking lot. I needed to clear the lot and the adjacent building. And then it became an attempt to keep folks out of the area. That was a tense 12-hours until the device was blown up.”

13. Idiot on drugs

“A few weeks ago we had an all-units call because an idiot on drugs decided to call 911 and say someone was someone had been shot. As he was on the phone with a dispatcher, someone else calls in that her home is being broken into. Guess who broke into her home while he’s ‘still’ on the phone with 911 saying someone’s been shot.

So an officer arrives and goes in to search for the suspect not knowing at the time it was the guy on the phone with 911. Well, dude runs out, hops in the cop car and tears out! All officers are dispatched along with state police officers. He had a nice joyride and led them on a good chase with a buddy behind him for almost an hour until some state troopers did a maneuver to wreck him when he got on the interstate.”

14. Runner

“I spent 13 months as an officer.

One was during a patrol in the ghetto section, and I spot a car speeding down the street. As soon as I hit my lights, the driver jumps out of the car while it’s in motion and runs into the woods losing a sandal. The car stopped right before hitting a house and figured that another passenger stopped the vehicle, so called for immediate backup and secured it. Turned out to be a notorious dealer with priors, and his ladies snitched when he bailed on them.”

15. Intense

“We had a shooter trying to kill cops. He had several guns on him and he managed to take out a few cops. He ran and hid in the woods traveling around town behind people’s houses for days. Businesses and roads were shut down people were told to stay inside. It was pretty intense.”

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The Story Behind Bloody Mary and Why We Think We See Stuff in Mirrors

Bloody Mary is more than a character. She’s a Halloween (or anytime) tradition amongst young people. You dare each other and egg your friends on until one of you is brave enough to hit the lights, stand in front of a mirror and chant “Bloody Mary” 13 times…

Photo Credit: iStock

Then you wait for the inevitable: for the spirit of the Bloody Mary to appear out of nowhere, kill you and your friends, and ruin your sleepover!

Okay, the murder part doesn’t actually happen, but you know you thought it might when you were a kid (as did I). The ritual is so impactful that different versions of the legend exist across the globe — sometimes centered around a woman named Mary Worth, sometimes involving the devil himself appearing.

It turns out that seeing things in the mirror really isn’t that strange after all. The longer you stare in the mirror, the more likely you are to see stuff that isn’t really there. This phenomenon can be blamed, in part, on what’s known as the Troxler effect. If you stare at the same object for a long time, your brain gets used to the image and the unchanging stimuli. What happens next is pretty incredible: your neurons cancel the information out, and whatever you’re staring at can start to appear blurry or distorted. Until you blink and look around, you’ll continue to see these unusual visions.

Photo Credit: Deviant Art,Skyberry-13

What’s more, if you stare into your own eyes in a mirror long enough, your face will begin to change shape.

Here’s a test for you. Stare at the plus sign in the center of the image below for 8 seconds.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Your brain probably tricked you and distorted your vision in a number of ways, possibly by making the colors in the image fade to gray. Live Science points out that this is actually a coping mechanism. “If you couldn’t ignore the steady hum of your computer monitor, the constant smell of your own body odor or the nose jutting out in front of your face, you’d never be able to focus on the important things — like whether your boss is standing right behind you,” the article explains.

The “strange face in the mirror” phenomenon, like Bloody Mary, is part of this as well. A 2010 experiment conducted by an Italian psychologist had people stare into a mirror for 10 minutes. 66% of the subjects reported seeing “huge deformations” of their face, and 48 % saw “fantastical and monstrous beings.”

Photo Credit: Unsplash,Taylor Smith

So maybe this is why so many people claim to have seen Bloody Mary in the mirror, and why the legend continues to frighten kids to this day. However, while origin of Bloody Mary is debated, but some believe it dates back to a real person — Queen Mary I from the 16th century, who was called Bloody Mary by her protestant enemies.

Others think the legend may be based on a different real person named Mary because varying legends give different versions of her name (Mary Worth, Mary Worthington, Mary Lou). Either way, one thing is for sure — kids will continue to play this spooky game forever, so let’s just hope Bloody Mary doesn’t get angry enough to come bursting through the mirror.

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12+ Cases That Still Make Doctors’ Skin Crawl

There’s a reason why those of us with weak stomachs don’t become doctors. They see more blood, gore, and bile in one week than most of us do in a lifetime. But everyone has their limits – even doctors – and sometimes things poke through the patina of professional ability.

If you decide to read through these 15 doctors’ confessions about what still gives them the heebie-jeebies after years of practicing medicine, I hope your stomach is strong.

#15. Absolutely ghastly

“Doctor. Nothing visual/physical really gets to me these days. Smells can be absolutely ghastly. But people’s suffering can be profoundly affecting, both patient’s and families.”

#14. Chilling to the bone

“How cruel people can be. Dealing with disease is one thing, but dealing with victims of any kind of assault, domestic violence or mass tragedy is chilling to the bone.”

#13. I’m taking a bath in bleach

“Patient has Mrsa : skip the gown because we all have it, it’s fine what Evs

Patient has scabies / bed bugs: JeSus fucking Christ where the fuck is my 3rd PPE gown tie, I need 6 gloves and 4 Shoe covers and if they even so much as touch me I’m taking a bath in bleach , I left my phone in the break room because if it fell outa my pocket it will stay there till the end of time .”

#12. There’s something about that open nose

“I work at a maxillofacial surgeons’ department and I’ve seen a lot of procedures which don’t phase me; teeth extractions, upper and lower jaw realignment, traumas of all types (broken jaws, broken orbital sockets, …) oncological procedures, explorations. The lot.

But there’s 1 procedure that makes my gut wrench; rhinoplasties. There’s something about that open nose, and people cutting and prodding around that makes me so uncomfortable. I don’t know why.”

#11. I have to suppress a shudder

“Anesthesiologist here. Blood, gore, and people trying to die on me don’t really phase me much. But when I’m in the eye room and the surgeon sticks a needle into someone’s eyeball I have to suppress a shudder.”

#10. Parasites

“I can handle skin sloughing diseases, gore, and meth head tweeters just fine… But damn, I hate parasites….. bed bugs, scabies, tapeworms (fun fact- you can end up with tapeworm eggs in your brain if you have tapeworms and your hygiene is rank enough).”

#9. Full body skin conditions

“I’m a trauma surgeon so blood and mangled bodies doesn’t really phase me, but full body skin conditions do! Things like eczema herpeticum and Norwegian scabies make me itch all over and really uncomfortable.”

#8. Chopped fingers still get me

“I’ve seen all sorts of disgusting and gory things which uniphase me but for some reason chopped or dismembered fingers still get me.”

#7. The common thing we all hate…

“For me it’s nasty teeth. There are very few things that move me in any way (medicine or otherwise) but daaaamn nasty teeth. I could never ever be a dentist.

My friend works in emergency medicine and can’t stand hand wounds. She’s the toughest, most bad-ass lady I know but hand wounds make her swoon like a medieval maiden.

Among other doctors I know it’s usually skin conditions and burns.

The common thing we all hate is abuse.”

#6. Living where they shouldn’t be

“All the creepy crawlies living where they shouldn’t be. The more slithery the worse it is.

A kid is awoken by intense pain and a scratching sound in the ear? Usually a cockroach – not so bad, but a hassle to remove piecemeal leg by leg if it comes to that.

Some guy is complaining of nasal congestion and some bleeding months after a vacation? Yup, leeches in the nasal cavity. I’m never going swimming in any rivers ever.

Diabetic patient complaining of a non-healing wound behind his ear? I scoop out dozens of maggots from underneath the skin flaps and they’re falling on the patient’s stretcher.

A pregnant patient admitted for delivery is complaining of itching down there after maybe straining a bit too much? An Ascaris roundworm is poking its head out the butt and saying hello.

Always makes me gag when I have to be the one to remove them.”

#5. Botflies are a common theme

“Large Parasites that live in the skin.

I can deal with worms in the organs, or microscopic spiders living in my face pores, but when it comes to scabies or botflies I want to claw my own skin off.”

#4. A big NOPE

“Very little does… I can see blood, guts, death, and very little phases me. But watching any video of somebody breaking a bone gets a big NOPE out of me.”

#3. Suctioning out saliva

“I don’t mind pus, blood, poop, urine. But, for the love of god, I can’t stand saliva. It grosses me out when anesthesia suctions out saliva.”

#2. Phantom itching for hours

“I can’t even see or hear the phrase “Fournier’s Gangrene” without cringing. (Don’t Google image search that at work unless you also work at a hospital.)

Also I reallllly don’t like going into patients’ rooms when they have bedbugs. Even if I gown and glove before heading in and only touch them to do an exam, I will have phantom itching for hours and then change clothes in my garage when I get home because NOPE.”

#1. Unclean nose issues

“My wife has been a family practitioner for 10 years. She says the only thing that really still grosses her out is nasty, unclean nose issues.”

Brb barfing.

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Doctors Can’t Believe That More Than Half of Parents Still Think You Can Get the Flu from the Flu Shot

Flu season is already underway. That’s right, while you are enjoying the fruits (and pumpkin spice lattes) of autumn right now, the sad truth is the flu bug is out and about. For many people, that means getting themselves and their children vaccinated in order to avoid a painful (and exhausting) illness, a recent survey revealed many parents are actually avoiding the flu shot for a head-scratching reason…

They think the flu shot causes the flu.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

“I’m flabbergasted,” says Dr. William Schaffner, who studies infectious disease at Vanderbilt University’s School of Medicine. “I and many others have been saying for over 20 years that you can’t get the flu from the flu vaccine. I don’t know how to say it any louder. You cannot get the flu from the flu vaccine. That’s a myth.”

Jean Moorjani, a board-certified pediatrician at Orlando Health Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children, brings some additional facts to the debate:

The parts of the virus that are used are completely dead, so you cannot get the flu from the flu shot. After receiving the shot, it takes your body about two weeks to build up antibodies to fight the flu, so if you come in contact with the virus during that time, you may still get sick, which is why you should get your flu shot as early as possible.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Many, many other doctors have added their enthusiastic support for the vaccine in recent days.

According to the CDC, 172 kids lost their lives to the flu in 2017 — the highest death toll in almost a decade — and over 80% of the children who perished did not have a current flu shot.

Doctors and other health professionals aren’t trying to scare parents, but they do want them to know that by not giving them the flu vaccine because of unfounded fears, you could be putting their lives in danger.

“There’s no reason to be nervous about getting your children vaccinated against the flu,” reiterates Amesh A. Adalja, a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security. “You should be nervous about not getting your children vaccinated.”

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15 Good Guesses as to Which 2010 Songs Will Be Considered Classics by 2030

If the past is any gauge, one can never really tell what songs are going to have staying power. But it’s worth a shot anyways!

So, without further ado, here are 15 predictions.

#15. Seems like a solid list to me.

“Interestingly, Slate just did a series called the New American Songbook that attempts to answer which of the songs of the last 25 years will be considered classics in years to come.

The ones on their short list from 2010 or later are:

Let It Go
Get Lucky
Rolling in the Deep
We Found Love
Hotline Bling
Call Me Maybe
Uptown Funk
Seems like a solid list to me. I’d add “Somebody That I Used to Know,” but otherwise it’s tough to argue.”

#14. Adele.

“Adele – Rolling in the Deep & Someone Like You.”

#13. A long time.

“Gotye – Somebody That I Used to Know

One hit wonder that will last a long time.”

#12. Uptown Funk.

“Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars.

Edit: Apparently it’s Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars. I stand corrected.”

#11. Timeless and super catchy.

“Tame Impala – Feels Like We Only Go Backwards

Such a timeless song and super catchy. Wouldn’t be suprised hearing that song still playing in 20 years.”

#10. People will be blasting it.

“M83 – Midnight City

People will be blasting that shit like Toto’s Africa.”

#9. The Kidzbop version.

“Party rock, but the kidzbop version.”

#8. It’s just a good song.

“Daft Punk – Get Lucky

Song was everywhere for a while, and it’s sufficiently unique and catchy to be remembered 17 years post release.

Also it’s just a good song.”

#7. Shaking a**es in 2050.

“Despacito will still be shaking asses in 2050, much less 2030.”

#6. So many thoughts.

“Rolling in the deep

Someone Like You

Sombody i used to know

Get lucky

Midnight City

Royals

All i want

Little Talks

Superhero/ Hall Of Fame

Demons / Radioactive

Firework

Titanium

Take me to church

elastic heart/ chandelier

And some of Kendrick, Post Malone songs

You better add more song in reply..”

#5. At every party, forever.

“Wake me up – Avicii gonna be at every party, forever.”

#4. Surely.

“Surely some of Lady Gaga’s classics.

I’m not quite sure which though!”z

#3. Wedding music.

“Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon will be played at every wedding for the rest of eternity, and IMO that makes it a classic.”

#2. For decades.

“Portugal. the Man – Feel it Still will be on the radio for decades.”

#1. I believe.

“II believe Ed Sheeran’s Perfect and/or Thinking Out Loud will be played at weddings around the world for many, many years to come.

And perhaps Versace on the Floor will be the same for the honeymoon.”

At least we only have to wait 11 more years to see whether they’re correct!

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These 18+ Memes About Parenting Will Tickle the Funnybones of Moms and Dads Everywhere

There are some things that only parents understand, and these 20 memes fall into that category. So, if you are in the process of raising children, sit back with your glass of wine (or beverage of choice) and have a good laugh. You deserve it.

#20. Such a beautiful day.

#19. “What are you doing?” / “WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

#18. Does anyone know where I can get one of those?

#17. Wait, your second kid is supposed to have their own room?

#16. Leaving anywhere, basically.

#15. Introvert nightmare.

#14. They never listen.

#13. How do they do that?

#12. And so it begins.

#11. It is our battle cry.

#10. Basically.

#9. Send wine.

#8. There is nothing more disconcerting, y’all.

#7. If only they understood.

#6. Do you want to die?

#5. No one can make you raise your hand, people.

#4. No words necessary.

#3. Wait for it…

#2. Just don’t.

#1. What?

Cheers!

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