Author: Jake Brannon

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How Much Money You Need to Make to Afford the Average Home in Each State

Owning a home is a dream for many Americans, but the high price tag and unpredictable market can make it seem more like a nightmare.

People who want to learn how to better manage their finances may be familiar with the website HowMuch. This useful resource recently put together a colorful infographic that shows what salary you need to make in order to afford the average home in each state, and let’s just say you might need to ask your boss for a raise…

Photo Credit: How Much

Though the east and west coasts may have their cultural differences, both share an unfortunate characteristic: expensive homes. According to the graphic—which factors in a 30-year mortgage with a 10 percent down payment—you would need to make about $120,120 to afford the average home in California. It doesn’t get much better across the country in Massachusetts, where $101,320 will put you in a position to buy a house.

The situation is not all doom and gloom, though. For instance, you only need a salary of $47,960 to afford the average home in Pennsylvania. Strangely, midwestern states like North Dakota ($56,000) and Wyoming ($58,000) require a more substantial salary.

Of course, the cost-of-living index will vary based on your specific location. Generally speaking, living in a major city will lead to a more expensive lifestyle, whereas purchasing a home in suburban or rural areas can dramatically lower your cost of living.

So if you’re looking for a home, maybe think a little outside the box.

The post How Much Money You Need to Make to Afford the Average Home in Each State appeared first on UberFacts.

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Newly Discovered Packing List Reveals Jackie Kennedy’s Attention to Fashion Detail

Few first ladies have reached such iconic heights as Jackie Kennedy. She reinvigorated the White House, inviting in the public through the magic of television. She advocated for causes that were important to her. And, as accomplished as she was, she was also known for her trend-setting fashions.

Jackie chose outfits that were both timely and timeless. Her choices were simple and elegant, and strongly influenced by her upbringing in New York. Many celebrities today look to designers and stylists to craft their looks. Not so with Jackie. She carefully crafted every element of her public persona and appearance.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

A New York Times article reveals that Jackie kept detailed packing lists for her travels. The packing lists include the events she was planning to attend and detailed descriptions of the outfit she planned for each occasion. Even her purses, gloves, and shoes were carefully documented in the lists.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

The packing lists were discovered by Gil Wells in 2015, and he gave the notes to the United States government in 2016. The notes were kept under wraps until The New York Times made an inquiry, which resulted in the article published in July of this year.

The packing lists are even more striking because of the trip Jackie was preparing for. It was the trip to Dallas that she took with her husband in November, 1963, which ended abruptly with the president’s assassination.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

“I saw ‘Nov. 22’ and ‘pink and navy Chanel suit.’ I just got the sickest feeling in my stomach,” Wells said to the New York Times. 

The blood-splattered Chanel suit is still being held in a vault, and will not be allowed out for public viewing until at least 2103.

After her husband’s death, Jackie rebuilt her life, remarrying and working as an editor. She continued to be a fashion icon until her death in 1994.

Photo Credit: Twitter

The packing lists show Jackie’s planning and dedication to her role as First Lady. Her personal style was marked by class and grace, and her influence continues to this day.

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13+ People With Sociopathic Friends Share Their Most Uncomfortable Interactions

Sociopathy and psychopathy actually are tough to spot. You see, the thing about psychopaths (and, to a lesser extent, sociopaths) is that they look and act like everyone else…until they don’t. One moment things are totally normal, then next thing you know everything is out of control.

These 13+ people didn’t know who they were spending their time with at first, but after they did, some of these amazingly uncomfortable moments made a lot more sense.

#15. Every single hair on my body stood straight up.

“I remember from a very early age that my mom would just stand in the entrance to my room with a knife. This didn’t happen very often, maybe 2-3 times a year.

When I was 9, I finally asked her why she would do this. I’ll never forget how she said this. She looked me dead in the eyes and said that I was a mistake and she was deciding if she “should do what she should have done a long time ago”. I asked to move in with my grandma a week later.

Thinking about how she said it still gets my heart racing 22 years later. I don’t know if I can accurately describe it but every single hair on my body stood straight up. I was paralyzed with fear and I felt like if I moved too suddenly she would strike.

Backstory: Mom had me when she was 16 and regularly told me that I ruined her life. She was a habitual drug user and alcoholic. She told me that if she had the money she would have had an abortion.”

#14. Play things.

“When they told me they see their friends and people as play things.”

#13. Completely dead in the face and eyes.

“I dated someone who I now believe is a sociopath.

The most uncomfortable thing while we were dating was the he would constantly whisper things in my ear in public (in earshot of other people) like, “Do you think I look hot right now?” or “Do you think I’m cool?” And the first few times I thought he was joking so I laughed, and he’d get angry. He wanted a serious answer, he wanted me to tell him how much I wanted to jump his bones right there in front of all of our friends, while they were watching and listening. I’d get lectured afterwards like, “You know, you really insulted me personally when you laughed at me in front of everyone.”

He could also cry on cue to get what he wanted and as soon as he got what he wanted, it would instantly switch off and he’d turn very serious and tell me what a horrible person I was. The instant emotional switches are disarming.

When he broke up with me I went from being his favorite person in the world to instantly at the very bottom of his shit list. He laughed when I cried on multiple occasions calling me ridiculous.

What’s very alarming about people like him is how many people they can get on their side with their charm. None of his current friends know anything about his behavior behind closed doors. And they’re all new people, all the people who “caught on” when we were dating are gone from his life. He has convinced his new friends that I’m a psychopath because I tried to tell others what happened so whenever I say anything about what a creep he is, I get brigaded by the new people who are now being manipulated.

Also he is completely dead in the face and eyes until you interact with him and then it’s like he becomes animated.”

#12. He was just very enthusiastic.

“Someone in our extended family. He offered to kill my cat for me to safe a vet bill. The cat wasn’t sick. Or old. He was just very enthusiastic about helping us out with that particular issue.

He’s not allowed to be alone with pets anymore.

Edit: This wasn’t the first incident, actually. At a family gathering he took the family dog for a walk. He returned with the dog soaking wet. It was December, and he claimed the dog had chased a squirrel into the river. People didn’t entirely believe that story, somehow.

He also tends to just leave gatherings without telling anyone, sleeps in the garden instead of on the couch, and he rarely blinks. He is just altogether a little odd.”

#11. Living with her was a nightmare.

“My sister feels nothing but rage. When she doesn’t feel rage, she feels, literally, nothing. She spends her life manipulating everyone around her and satisfying that rage. She mercilessly abused me growing up. She tried to kill me three times before I moved out. No one believed me. Because I was older and larger, I was always considered to be the aggressor, even when I was being violently assaulted in my sleep. Living with her was a nightmare. The most uncomfortable moment between us wasn’t something she did to me. It was something I considered doing to her.

I’d been sent up to the crawl space to get an ornament. You could only access it from a ladder in the garage. When I grabbed it and turned around, she was at the top of the ladder, staring at me. There wasn’t any room for her to come up, she was just waiting there. Staring. She told me to get out of the way, and I told her I couldn’t. There wasn’t room for two people in the crawlspace. She’d have to go back down the ladder. She immediately switched to rage. She said she hated me, and she wasn’t going to let me down from the crawlspace. It was 110 degrees in there, and I was already exhausted.

I remember thinking… she’s at the top of a ladder… over a cement floor… I could make this stop… I’d just say it was an accident… I’m only 12… no one would convict me…

As soon as I thought that, her face suddenly went blank, and she went back down the ladder.”

#10. He actually thought it was endearing.

“In high school, my boyfriend at the time and I shared a math class together. It was well known we were dating so I would always take him his homework via teachers request if he missed (he skipped a lot). I broke up with him over Xmas break (he cheated on me). Math teacher obviously still assumed we were together so he asked me to bring him his homework. I did.

Got to his house, wanting to drop it off at his door step. He told me to come in and explain it to him. He locked his bedroom door and started saying shit like “if I can’t have you then no one else can”, “I could get you back in a second. Just admit it”… etc. Then the true kicker: “if I killed you or if you died, I would keep your body in my closet or hung behind my door just to have sex with it”. (Disclaimer: I never had sex with him and I think that killed him). He then proceeded to try to make out with me and jam his hands down my pants. He actually thought it was endearing and had no idea why I was so upset.

I got out. Called my mom to pick me up. And ran back to the school (he lived close).

Terrifying. To this day I’m still horrified about it and him. Last I heard he was trying to be a magician, looks like Charles Manson, and is in and out of psych wards.”

#9. I think my friend was about to kill him.

“I have a friend who’s a pathological liar. He’s also mostly Scottish in heritage – northern Scotland, where the Viking influence is. He’s 6’8, 350 lbs when he’s watching his weight, 400+ when he isn’t and there is a lot of muscle to go with everything else.

The lies aren’t all that awful most of the time – he’s known as a very entertaining storyteller and everyone knows he’ll embellish greatly from time to time. But he can’t keep a girlfriend – apparently he can’t be honest, is a pathological cheater, the lies catch up with his relationships in a few weeks at most.

One day we were in a taxi together and he got the idea that the driver was taking a route that was unnecessarily long. He stopped the cheerful story he was telling me mid-sentence. His face changed and he barked at the cab driver in a voice I’d never heard, loud and angry and aggressive. The cab driver immediately pulled over and let us out with out paying, and a good thing too – I think my friend was about to kill him. I was petrified in my seat – I felt like he might kill everyone in range, I was terrified.

It was the last time I spent time with him, though I’d known him for 20 years. I later learned that he won’t associate with someone after they’ve “seen him snap,” as one of his other ex-friends put it.”

#8. He thought it was funny.

“This kid in my 8th grade class. He showed us a video of him lighting a cat on fire while it was alive. He thought it was funny. We reported the video to the school and he was apprehended next day.

I believe you can find a news story online about it. It happened in Maryland a few years ago.”

#7. I would just awkwardly nod my head.

“When he would tell a story that I was apart of and make up huge lies of what happened. Even sometimes switch his role and mine. And I would just awkwardly nod my head and wonder if he truly remembered it that way.”

#6. How dangerous she actually was.

“By far figuring out how she dangerous she actually was. I grew up with her until she was removed from the house due to trying to burn it down with us in it; she said it was a suicide attempt. Okay, whatever, maybe. Years later I find out her house burned down with her disabled daughter in it; she said it was an accident, candle or some bullshit like that. Possible conicidence, but highly unlikely. She did other things too, e.g. poured paint over every item I owned when I was around ten, slept with a knife under her pillow, etc..”

#5. Do you trust me?

“We were cleaning our guns. This guy pointed the gun at me and ask me if I trusted him. Do you think the gun is unloaded? He asked me. I could be negligent or evil and I could left a bullet in there. He pull the trigger, laugh, and carry on cleaning the gun like nothing. He thought it was funny.”

#4. He still can’t help himself.

“I’ve been long time friends with a sociopath. He is honestly like my brother. We have developed this relationship that basically treats me like his moral compass, but it doesn’t always work. He is still manipulative and cruel at times, and he does only truly care about himself, but he tries to be a good person because he doesn’t want to be an asshole.

This being said my most uncomfortable moment with him would have to be when he was telling me about watching some guy almost die. He was telling me how he knew he should have stopped watching and helped him, but he was too interested in what the outcome would be if he didn’t help. It was creepy to know that as hard as he may try to be a decent person. Sometimes he still can t help himself.”

#3. I woke up three days later.

“My sister is a sociopath, it took me a lot of years to realize this and stop rationalizing it. I’m a diabetic and have been in comas. During the last one in 2015, after a year of no contact, she showed up at the hospital saying I had expressed to her that my wishes were Do Not Resuscitate. About 12 of my friends shouted her down and I woke up 3 days later on my own. If I had coded during that time, however, there would have been a lot of grey area around if they were allowed to revive me. About 4 months later she took out a life insurance policy on me and asked me to sign it….I said no lol. I no longer speak to her.

Oh man, this blew up. I should add that I now have very clear wishes notarized and copies kept with my doctors and trusted friends. She’s not taking me out that easily!! Thank you guys for being concerned, it’s great advice for everyone in a medical situation to have just in case.”

#2. Will never forget that psycho grin on his face.

“My uncle. We found out things in bits and pieces.

My dad and he work together. He got my dad fired by saying all sorts of lies to their boss. And then pretended to be the white knight by offering him a job in another country where he’s living. Money was tight back then and we were in a lot of debt so dad agreed. He took him there, gave him work, but also made him a slave to his wife and kids who also lived there. Dad was expected to cook food, wash the dishes, clean up the dining table after uncle’s family ate and then eat himself. Yeesh. Dad didn’t tell us until much later. According to the rules set by uncle, he wasn’t to contact us often, should mind his own damn business even if his daughter didn’t turn up home all night, and keep his mouth shut about work. Dad was miserable there and we couldn’t do much because, again, that job was a welcome relief to us. Uncle, meanwhile, would come every night to our home, have breakfast and dinner that my mom generously cooked because his family was abroad, while bitching about my dad in front of us. One day I had finally reached my breaking point and I started crying because I felt horrible for dad who was trying so hard to make things right for us. Uncle just sat opposite to me smiling. GODDAMN SMILING. Will never forget that psycho grin on his face. Days later dad suddenly turned up unannounced at home. Turns out he’d been dumped by uncle to our city without prior notice. Dad had no guts to tell us what happened.

We realised uncle was a psychopath later. He’d routinely mentally torture people and enjoy their misery while pretending to offer sympathies and help. He’s in a powerful spot so he offers his victims jobs. Once they accept, he makes them entirely dependent on him. He’d them put his victims under even more psychological stress be it threatening to cut off ties or getting them fired if they disagreed with him. My dad was really messed up for days. He’d swing from utter despair to not speaking for days to extreme violence to absolutely broken. Got beaten up a bit for trying to calm him down. Dad could finally regain his mental sanity after we cut off all ties to that uncle. Last we heard, he wants to contact my dad because they’re brothers and people realised what a piece of shit he is so they avoid him too. Dad’s like oh hell naw.”

#1. It clicked.

“I’m an ex-friend of a sociopath.

I think it was when we were hanging out and we started arguing about me going to his house. I had left my wallet there and I told him this and told him we needed to go back so I could get it.

He then started claiming that his parents didn’t like me and didn’t want me at his house. He said since they weren’t home that would just make it worse. I just kept saying I need my damn wallet and that he could get it for me. He proceeded to call me selfish and a monster for arguing with him. Like he yelled it in my face at in a public area. I was shocked and had nothing to say.

Then he proceeded to act like nothing happened. Asking me if we should get food, etc.

I eventually got my wallet back from him. He didn’t spend any money of mine or anything, but needless to say we aren’t friends anymore.

Honestly I didn’t even consider him a sociopath until telling my therapist about how he manipulated me into thinking everything was my fault and how me being better mentally was never enough. She basically told me straight up he’s a sociopath and it clicked. He used me just to fill his ego.”

 

Keep your friends close and all of that…

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35 Social Media Posts That Will Make You Feel a Whole Lot Smarter

Everyone has those days when they don’t feel like the smartest cookie. We forget the name of someone we literally just met or push a door that’s clearly marked “pull.” If you’re having one of those days (or even if you’re not), here are some social media posts that will make you feel like the smartest person on earth.

35. Phone problems

Photo Credit: Imgur

34. Math problems

Photo Credit: Twitter

33. Y tho

Photo Credit: Facebook

32. …vowel problems?

Photo Credit: Imgur

31. Ummmm…problems.

Photo Credit: Me.me

30. Time problems

Photo Credit: Sizzle

29. LOL THE EDIT

Photo Credit: Reddit

28. Heh heh

Photo Credit: Facebook

27. That’s real disturbing

Photo Credit: Facebook

26. I don’t think…never mind

Photo Credit: Twitter

25. Word problems

Photo Credit: Me.me

24. NOOPE

Photo Credit: Twitter

23. Seems accurate

Photo Credit: Facebook

22. Classic architecture mixup

Photo Credit: Facebook

21. Maybe it’s a joke? Maybe?

Photo Credit: Me.me

20. I can honestly see this happening to me

Photo Credit: Me.me

19. Honeydew who?

Photo Credit: Me.me

18. That’s a big model

Photo Credit: Amazon

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Christmas Is Here to Stay at this Inn and It’s Wonderful

Nestled in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, near Jackson, is the Christmas Farm Inn & Spa, where it is Christmas all year round.

That’s right, no more need to wait until after Thanksgiving to start celebrating your favorite holiday!

Photo Credit: Christmas Farm Inn & Spa

Y’all, it’s also a spa too. Did you get that?

Photo Credit: Romper

You don’t have to think about your Christmas to-do list because you don’t actually have one because it’s not really Christmas. Instead, you can relax with a massage or facial. Afterwards, step into the hot tub or steam room and breathe in the Christmas cheer.

Aside from the fact it is Christmas every day of the year here, this delightful resort also features cuisine unique to New England. Tuesday nights offer traditional Christmas turkey dinners with all the trimmings, while dishes of venison and elk are served during the restaurant’s Saturday wild game nights.

Photo Credit: Christmas Farm Inn & Spa

For mountain-chic accommodations, reserve a room in the Main Inn, built in 1786 as part of a jail, church and farmhouse complex. Enjoy the history and the fireplace – with complimentary cookies and coffee – in the Inn’s living room.

Photo Credit: Christmas Farm Inn & Spa

The Farm’s barn, perfect for larger gatherings, is divided into four apartments with ancient wood beams and board paneling. Straight out of a New England village, an additional seven cottages stand on a hillside, each with their own fireplaces and charming names, like The Sugar House. Adorbz.

Photo Credit: Christmas Farm Inn & Spa

Christmas Farm is close to plenty of family friendly activities, like year round hiking, shopping, skiing and other winter adventures. Of course, Story Land and Santa’s Village are also nearby. Or spend the day on the picturesque property and take a dip in either the indoor or outdoor pool.

Photo Credit: Christmas Farm Inn & Spa

If you think you’ve had enough Christmas, the fun is still not over. In the evening, pull up a chair in the lounge and order yourself a Grinch or Siberian Express to keep the chill away.

Photo Credit: Christmas Farm Inn & Spa

No matter when you go, the Christmas Farm Inn & Spa is the perfect place to revel in the warmth and hospitality of Christmas with friends, family – or even by yourself. No matter if you’ve been bad or good, you deserve a little Christmas in your life whenever you want it.

Photo Credit: Funny Neel

Better get a room before the weather outside turns frightful!

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30+ Ways to Deal with Depression and Anxiety That Actually Help

According to the World Health Organization, depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. Did you know that more than 300 million people struggle with the illness globally? Not to mention anxiety, a frequent companion of depression, is the most common mental illness in the United States.

Many of those with anxiety and/or depression have struggled with finding effective ways to cope, and the stigma associated with mental illness certainly doesn’t help. This AskReddit thread gives 35 coping strategies for depression and anxiety that are actually helpful.

#35. The power of pets

For me getting a new kitten tugged me out of depression. I’m a huge cat person and this kitten just chose me like we got home and she came out of the cage straight to my lap to nap. Two years later her just being here loving me has made me a totally different person.

#34. Healthy living

Working out and eating healthy. Friends dragged me into it. Changed my life.

#33. Following a routine

Making a positive routine to replace the negative one you’re stuck in.

For instance I would take my phone into my room and go to bed and watch s DVD then waste time on the Internet for a bit and eat some junk food and then try to sleep, which wouldn’t happen and would lead to a pattern of sleeping during the day and being awake during the night.

So I went into my spare bedroom which unlike mine was bare at about 11pm without any phone or kindle or food and climb into the covers to sleep.

I slept better and broke that negative cycle and had the day to do things where I was awake properly.

Exercise and getting out if the house is another one

#32. Working on yourself

Doing things for myself, and putting work into myself. There’s nothing wrong with saying I want to do this for me. For me it was guitar, reading, and writing. I’m bad at all of them but I do them for me.

And leaving bad things behind, bad people behind. Thinking critically about negative aspects of my life. Consciously asking myself how they’re affecting me, and how I feel about them.

#31. Focusing on yourself

Plenty of water, regular exercise, a diet that is plant-based and varied, sunshine/light box/vitamin D supplements as needed/, lithium orotate, evening primrose oil, vitamin B p5p, adequate sleep, essential oils for different occasions.

To be honest I stopped talking about my problems so much. Keeping quiet about what I might be feeling at every moment helped me assess when I really was feeling something that I needed help with. I stopped going to therapy when I found myself repeating the same worry, I wasn’t getting anywhere. When I realized I could help myself I felt better because I was in control of my life.

I was labeled as a person with Borderline Personality Disorder which made me work harder to not be that person. It doesn’t feel good to have something “wrong” with you and it gave me more incentive to be someone who helps make everything positive around them. Hopefully I make others feel good in a genuine way every day. While I am far from reproach, as I also have feelings/opinions and am not a doormat, I think that I’m doing pretty well in my objective.

#30. Being your own bully

I bullied myself out of severe social anxiety. It got to the point where being in a moderate to large group/crowd of people would give me terrible diarrhea. It got to the point where it was a hopeless spiral of fear of shitting myself in public (only ever happened once and no one noticed) and fear of crowds feeding into each other.

One day, I’d just had enough. Enough missing out on things and excluding myself from concerts. I think it was the night my sister and her husband brought me to see Les Mis when they were on tour, and I shat myself on the way to the bathroom.

So I started being my own bully. I told myself: “Ya know what, Atlas_Mech? You are going to do this, even if you shit yourself in the process. Don’t want that? Too fucking bad. Bring an extra pair of panties and pants. You’re nervous? Oh fucking well. You’re shaking and trembling and having a fucking panic attack 3 days in advance? Too fucking bad. You made a promise to be there, and you don’t ever fucking break a promise.”

And it wasn’t an instant success. I bailed early at parties and events, but people were glad I showed up. I told someone about my social anxiety and consequential diarrhea and they said, “that’s okay, it’s what I have a washer and dryer for! Oh! And now you can try on my clothes! I’ve got your back.”

#29. Letting go of what doesn’t matter

Started to stop giving fucks about things I used to care and started to work out. The beginning was the hardest though.

#28. Try a new hobby

Video games. Not kidding.

During my one and only anxiety/panic attack my friend took me to a LAN party at someone’s house. There was a steep learning curve on whatever war strategy game we were playing but I didn’t care, it did the trick.

#27. Take a unique approach

Exercise, the keto diet, daily 10 minute mediations, and lsd. I was anxious my whole life and now it’s gone. I was depressed and passively suicidal for years and now that’s all gone too. It feels like enlightenment but I don’t know if a person should say they’re enlightened lol.

#26. Medication

Medication. People shit on it, but when it works it really works.

#25. Cutting out caffeine

Besides meditation for me a HUGE thing was cutting out caffeine. I used to drink one to two cups a day in the morning and then take preworkout in the evening When I stopped I noticed almost an immediate enhancement to my quality of life. I know it doesn’t change everyone’s life but it definitely made a huge difference in mine.

Besides that, a daily routine. Writing out your goals every week and holding yourself accountable for accomplishing those goals. If I don’t actively have something to learn or move towards then I instantly get the sads. Go to the gym, go be outside. And as crippling as depression and anxiety can be, force yourself to be in social situations. Because no matter how hard it is to be in public, it will only get harder the longer you abandon society.

#24. Spending time with friends

Getting a job..

Hanging out with people who cared about me. I was very lonely as I just moved to a new city and had no friends at all. The source of my depression was essentially that I truly felt no one cared about me at all. Or even liked my prescence [sic]. Some friends came into the city for the weekend and I realized again that there are people out there who like me.

#23. Ignoring social media

Staying off social media seems to be overlooked but it helps me a lot. It’s not the total cure but a piece to the puzzle. You’re subconsciously comparing your life to a bunch of fake portrayals of other people’s happy lives which can make you feel down.

#22. Helping someone

I’ve learned that I can usually get out of bed to help someone else. It’s just a temporary fix, and maybe it’s sad that I can’t get out to help myself, but if I set my mind on doing something nice for another person, it’s much easier to get up. The motivation is good, and brightening someone else’s day is extremely rewarding. I encourage friends to always reach out if I can help with anything, because it helps me too. Even if they just want someone to bring them coffee or lunch at work.

#21. Writing down your thoughts

Making use of a journal and writing in it daily. It is key to get of your head and putting your thoughts down on paper is what helps. And most importantly doing rather than thinking. Of course visualizing is great, but be careful you’re not day-dreaming. Again, get of your own head and do something.

#20. Doggos are the best

Getting a dog. Funny thing is I didn’t even want to get one, I’m a cat guy and had a bad experience with a dog when I was younger. However my wife put up with my 2 cats for long enough so it wasn’t fair of me to refuse her when she wanted a dog, so here we are. Having something that both loves AND depends on me makes a huge difference – no offence [sic] to my wife or cats, but they’re pretty independent!

#19. Financial independence and awareness

Getting a job. I was quite badly depressed (with ups and downs) all throughout HS, University and that one terrible year of unemployment after my graduation. At some point I pushed myself to just go and get a job because I was afraid to lose my then BF (that’s not why we broke up). I find that even though I’ve had some short depression periods since, it never blew up to the same extent.

Being financially inedpendent [sic] helped me be at peace with who I am, as well as allowed me to invest money into the things I like. Having a schedule and something to do every day didn’t allow me to slip into the old patterns of procrsatination and let me have a purpose for the day. I don’t love my job, I actually hate how boring it is, but I’m working on changing that.

Another important part in overcoming the depression and anxiety is awareness. Digging deeper for the cause of it all, linking it to my family and the way I raised, again, helped me to accept myself and understand that not everything is my own fault. It was a huge relief in allowing myself to exist and be happy sometimes.

#18. Starting over

Moving on. Moving to a new town, starting college, essentially cutting myself off of my previous life with anxiety. I know, not very practical, but it helped me to break away from the stigmas that came from acquaintances observing your anxiety.

#17. Realizing you can change

The realization that I could change my reality.

I was unhappy with my weight so I started walking… Then running.. And then I was thin.

That simple cognitive realization tore down all of my self limiting barriers and enabled me to grab life by the balls.

#16. Building relationships

You know how everyone says that to find a significant other, you must first learn to love yourself and be happy alone? When I was depressed, I felt so lonely. But someone started to like me. My confidence started to come back. Feeling loved felt like I was a real human being, worthy of love, and I started to believe it. It was the best thing that happened to me, a year later I didn’t feel depressed anymore. And after we broke up, for unrelated reasons, I still have the feeling that I’m not such a worthless person, someone did love me. I can do this.

#15. Live in the moment

I learned from watching kids and dogs. Feel your emotions in the moment, then let them go and don’t worry about it so you can enjoy the simple things.

#14. Meditation and therapy

Mindfulness meditation/Cognitive behavioral therapy. Realizing that you are still in control of what you consciously attend to, the thoughts and feelings that run through your mind do not have to consume your identity. Observe them without judgement, let them pass without indulging in them and they will fade away.

#13. Understanding and accessing your emotions

Coming to understand why I had become the way I had become, felt the way I felt.

My condition caused me to increasingly lock away my emotions over a decade. Made me robotic and excessively logical. Manifested what would eventually be diagnosed as chronic depression.

When, through the help of therapy and a particular theory of emotional development, I had come to understand what had lead me to become this way, my emotions came flooding out. Never did I cry so much before, and never was I so happy to do so.

It’s been a little 4 years since that fateful weekend, and I have much greater access to my emotions. There’s still a risk that I’ll slip back towards more robotic behavior, and “periods when I feel low and unmotivated” characteristic of chronic depression still occur, but they occur with much lesser intensity and frequency over time.

#12. “Don’t tell me what to do”

I just don’t like it when things try to force me to do something, and when I realized that my depression was just neurochemicals [sic] in my brain making me feel completely disengaged from everything and everyone I used to love and making me just want to sleep 24/7, I just told myself no more. Otherwise the chemicals win, and fuck that. More than I hated my life at that point, I hate it when I’m forced to be a certain way. Don’t tell me what to do.

#11. Release oxytocin

A nice release of oxytocin works wonders, especially when it comes in the form of a hug or kiss.

#10. Start your day off right

Get up and take a shower

Put on fresh and clean t shirt and pants

Do this everyday and don’t forget about it.

#9. Find financial stability

For me… Making good money and finishing my 3yr long job training. I was constantly stressed and not the outgoing type before, so of course that did not help. But once I finished my training and had some decent money to do things without counting what I spent, I was surprised how I said to myself “now you stop worrying all the time, and go have some fun”.

I’m still getting used to being around people, but I’m on a good track, I think.

#8. Run, Forrest, run

Running. Run like Forrest Gump himself, a few miles a day and my nerves are calmed, self-worth improved.

#7. Enjoy the fiber arts

Knitting and crocheting. The feeling of creating something nice and warm in this cold world. (Not ironic).

#6. Try something new

In my teenage years I fell back on music to get me through. Just knowing I wasn’t alone helped a ton with my depression. Now that I’m a lot older my thing is new experiences or just a change of scenery. I’ll take a trip somewhere a few hours away or go to a concert. Or if it’s an option I’ll get a new tattoo.

#5. Accomplish something, even if it’s small

Being busy, not spending too much time on Reddit. Eating right helps a ton too. If an unhealthy mind can cause an unhealthy body, then an unhealthy body will cause an unhealthy mind. Produce each day. By that I mean do something productive, even if it’s only doing a load of laundry.

#4. Get moving

I can’t believe I’m giving the answer I always hated hearing:

Exercise.

It doesn’t change the shittiness but it adds energy to your reserves to deal with the shittiness.

Also mindfulness/dialectical behavioral therapy helped a lot. It helped me change my “I want to die” thoughts to “This sucks” thoughts. Made a huge difference.

#3. Enjoy nature

Long walks through nature and working out in my room while watching hearthstone streams.

#2. CBD oil

My wife suffers very bad anxiety and depression. We live in Maryland and I was thinking about sending her on a trip to Colorado to try Cannabis oil. She has a backpack full of meds currently. We do not drink. I don’t think she has ever smoked pot. She hates the idea of smoking anything, or vaping for that matter. She is 30 and has been living with this for quite some time now but it does not seem to be getting any better. She hates taking so much medicine but if she does not it can get pretty bad. She mostly does it for our kids, if not for them she would probably stop taking them and deal with the craziness. We talked about this Cannabis oil for a while but the closest place is D.C and have to have medical waiver. I don’t really have the cash to send her out to Colorado but if it helps it would be worth it. Just to see if it helps.

#1. Crafting

Honestly? Crafting. I need something to do with my hands, so knitting/crocheting has been my lifesaver. Even if it’s just simple squares or a doily, making things has helped me tremendously. Bonus points for being able to donate to the local warming centres and humane societies with the stuff you make.

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10 Great Reasons To Adopt from a Shelter or Rescue

If you’re thinking of adding a four-legged friend to your family, there are lots of great reasons to adopt from a shelter. Millions of dogs are in shelters waiting for their forever homes…and that could be yours! Here are 10 of the reasons to adopt dogs from a shelter:

10. It’s easy to find the perfect fit.

Shelters have a wide variety of dogs from just about every background. Looking for a pup that’s great with kids? A low-key elder dog? A bonded pair that can keep each other company? Odds are, your local shelter has all of these options and more. Looking for a specific breed? There are rescue groups for just about every breed.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

9. They may already have their shots and be spayed or neutered.

Many shelters provide basics vaccines. They may also spay or neuter dogs before they are adopted out. These services are typically included in the adoption fee. If the fee is an issue, many shelters also periodically run specials so you can adopt for a discount.

8. You have built-in support.

Shelters and rescues want your relationship with your new pet to be successful. Do you have questions or concerns? Ask the shelter or rescue group. They may have resources that can help with training.

7. They may already have some training.

Many adult shelter dogs grew up in homes, so they may already be housebroken. Other shelters and rescues have foster programs to help socialize dogs before they’re adopted. If they’re not housebroken, adult dogs are often quick to get the hang of going outside. If you need assistance in training, look for reliable online resources or talk to your shelter or rescue group about recommended local trainers and groups.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

6. You’re supporting important organizations.

Shelters and rescues spend thousands of dollars saving dogs and other animals. Your adoption fee helps them continue their mission and modernize their facilities.

5. They’ll love you.

A 2016 study in the Journal of Veterinary Behavior showed that shelter dogs were more driven to interact with humans than pet dogs (dogs who had been raised in homes). This may be because many shelter dogs have limited human contact, so when they do find a human to love them, they give them every bit of their attention. In other words, you’re their whole world.

4. You can adopt an adult.

Puppies are cute. They also have razor-sharp teeth and love to chew on all your things. If you don’t want to deal with the challenges of puppyhood, you can adopt an adult dog. Senior dogs, in particular, are in need of good homes and are less likely to be adopted. Elder dogs need love too!

3. You’re helping to shut down puppy mills.

When you buy from a pet store or a backyard breeder, you may be supporting a puppy mill. These mills keep dogs in poor conditions. The key to shutting them down is to decrease demand. More adoptions mean fewer people are buying puppies from these mills.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

2. You’re limiting the spread of diseases.

Feral dogs can spread diseases to other wild animals. Keeping dogs out of the wild and vaccinated helps keep wild animals safe and free of disease.

1. You’ll love them.

Studies have shown that owning a dog improves your health and boosts your mood. You and your family will have a reason to be out and about, meeting neighbors and enjoying the sunshine. Most of all, you’ll fall in love with your new family member. You rescue them, but there’s just as big a chance that your dog is rescuing you too.

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This Craigslist ‘Missed Connection’ Will Hit You Right in the Feels

“Missed Connections” on Craigslist have long been enjoyable to read, but this missed connection really raises the bar. This beautifully written ad reminds us of the power of connection and that we never know how much our actions might impact the people around us.

The ad begins with a veteran struggling with his time in the service.

Photo Credit: Craigslist

The text of the post says:

I met you in the rain on the last day of 1972, the same day I resolved to kill myself.

One week prior, at the behest of Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger, I’d flown four B-52 sorties over Hanoi. I dropped forty-eight bombs. How many homes I destroyed, how many lives I ended, I’ll never know. But in the eyes of my superiors, I had served my country honorably, and I was thusly discharged with such distinction.

And so on the morning of that New Year’s Eve, I found myself in a barren studio apartment on Beacon and Hereford with a fifth of Tennessee rye and the pang of shame permeating the recesses of my soul. When the bottle was empty, I made for the door and vowed, upon returning, that I would retrieve the Smith & Wesson Model 15 from the closet and give myself the discharge I deserved.

I walked for hours. I looped around the Fenway before snaking back past Symphony Hall and up to Trinity Church. Then I roamed through the Common, scaled the hill with its golden dome, and meandered into that charming labyrinth divided by Hanover Street. By the time I reached the waterfront, a charcoal sky had opened and a drizzle became a shower. That shower soon gave way to a deluge. While the other pedestrians darted for awnings and lobbies, I trudged into the rain. I suppose I thought, or rather hoped, that it might wash away the patina of guilt that had coagulated around my heart. It didn’t, of course, so I started back to the apartment.

And then I saw you.

A beautiful stranger had taken shelter from the rain. The two talked and laughed over coffee.

Photo Credit: Craigslist

You’d taken shelter under the balcony of the Old State House. You were wearing a teal ball gown, which appeared to me both regal and ridiculous. Your brown hair was matted to the right side of your face, and a galaxy of freckles dusted your shoulders. I’d never seen anything so beautiful.

When I joined you under the balcony, you looked at me with your big green eyes, and I could tell that you’d been crying. I asked if you were okay. You said you’d been better. I asked if you’d like to have a cup of coffee. You said only if I would join you. Before I could smile, you snatched my hand and led me on a dash through Downtown Crossing and into Neisner’s.

We sat at the counter of that five and dime and talked like old friends. We laughed as easily as we lamented, and you confessed over pecan pie that you were engaged to a man you didn’t love, a banker from some line of Boston nobility. A Cabot, or maybe a Chaffee. Either way, his parents were hosting a soirée to ring in the New Year, hence the dress.

For my part, I shared more of myself than I could have imagined possible at that time. I didn’t mention Vietnam, but I got the sense that you could see there was a war waging inside me. Still, your eyes offered no pity, and I loved you for it.

And they lived happily ever after, right? Right?!?

Photo Credit: Craigslist

After an hour or so, I excused myself to use the restroom. I remember consulting my reflection in the mirror. Wondering if I should kiss you, if I should tell you what I’d done from the cockpit of that bomber a week before, if I should return to the Smith & Wesson that waited for me. I decided, ultimately, that I was unworthy of the resuscitation this stranger in the teal ball gown had given me, and to turn my back on such sweet serendipity would be the real disgrace.

On the way back to the counter, my heart thumped in my chest like an angry judge’s gavel, and a future — our future — flickered in my mind. But when I reached the stools, you were gone. No phone number. No note. Nothing.

As strangely as our union had begun, so too had it ended. I was devastated. I went back to Neisner’s every day for a year, but I never saw you again. Ironically, the torture of your abandonment seemed to swallow my self-loathing, and the prospect of suicide was suddenly less appealing than the prospect of discovering what had happened in that restaurant. The truth is I never really stopped wondering.

My heart is broken.

Photo Credit: Craigslist

I’m an old man now, and only recently did I recount this story to someone for the first time, a friend from the VFW. He suggested I look for you on Facebook. I told him I didn’t know anything about Facebook, and all I knew about you was your first name and that you had lived in Boston once. And even if by some miracle I happened upon your profile, I’m not sure I would recognize you. Time is cruel that way.

This same friend has a particularly sentimental daughter. She’s the one who led me here to Craigslist and these Missed Connections. But as I cast this virtual coin into the wishing well of the cosmos, it occurs to me, after a million what-ifs and a lifetime of lost sleep, that our connection wasn’t missed at all.

You see, in these intervening forty-two years I’ve lived a good life. I’ve loved a good woman. I’ve raised a good man. I’ve seen the world. And I’ve forgiven myself. And you were the source of all of it. You breathed your spirit into my lungs one rainy afternoon, and you can’t possibly imagine my gratitude.

I have hard days, too. My wife passed four years ago. My son, the year after. I cry a lot. Sometimes from the loneliness, sometimes I don’t know why. Sometimes I can still smell the smoke over Hanoi. And then, a few dozen times a year, I’ll receive a gift. The sky will glower, and the clouds will hide the sun, and the rain will begin to fall. And I’ll remember.

So wherever you’ve been, wherever you are, and wherever you’re going, know this: you’re with me still.

I’m not crying. You’re crying. We’re all crying.

One small act of kindness and friendship saved this man’s life. It’s a reminder to treat the people around us with kindness. You never know what someone else is going through.

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12+ Celebrities Share Their Funniest Photos from Childhood

You might think that celebrities were born that way – their face in the spotlight and never doing anything embarrassing.

But, of course, they were young whippersnappers just like us before they hit the big time. Here are 15 big shots who shared humorous childhood pics with the world on social media.

1. Catherine Zeta-Jones

Photo Credit: Instagram

2. Rihanna

Photo Credit: Instagram

3. Justin Bieber

Photo Credit: Instagram

4. Adele

Photo Credit: Instagram

5. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Photo Credit: Instagram

6. Kim Kardashian

Photo Credit: Instagram

7. Chloe Grace Moretz

Photo Credit: Instagram

8. Justin Timberlake

Photo Credit: Instagram

9. Amanda Seyfried

Photo Credit: Instagram

10. Hilary Duff

Photo Credit: Instagram

11. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Photo Credit: Instagram

12. Heidi Klum

Photo Credit: Instagram

13. Jessica Alba

Photo Credit: Instagram

14. Anne Hathaway

Photo Credit: Instagram

15. Kendall Jenner

Photo Credit: Instagram

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These 13 Actors Got Injured For Real While Filming Movie Scenes

Whether it was suffering broken bones, nearly drowning, or waking up in a hospital wondering how they got there, these actors gave til it hurt to create some truly memorable scenes in movie history. While we don’t want them to ever get hurt, it’s hard not to admire the commitment to the craft.

1. The Wicked Witch of the West Went up in flames Filming The Wizard of Oz! (1939)

Photo Credit: IcePop

There’s being hot, and then there’s being Margaret Hamilton hot. Thanks to a trap-door malfunction, she suffered third degree burns when filming the Wicked Witch exit scene. She found herself  fully exposed to a pyrotechnic device that was going off and almost burnt to a crisp!

2. Meryl Streep almost drowned as well during the filming of The River Wild (1994)

Photo Credit: FanPop

”I remember sinking down to the bottom with this powerful and freezing water pulling me in deeper.” For Streep, that was what drowning felt like, but she still says today that they needed to get the shot. She was just supposed to paddle the raft, but the river went wild and Streep had to be fished out by a rescue kayaker.

3. Brendan Fraser almost got killed filming the Mummy (1999)

Photo Credit: YouTube

When filming a hanging scene, something went terribly wrong.  The noose used during the shoot didn’t match the one used by the stuntman. Fraser figured he could just hold his breath and power through the shot. For almost 18 seconds, Fraser was out of it. Even though he was standing on a board, when they upped the tension, he was actually being hanged briefly!

4. Sean Astin had to be choppered off the set filming The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Photo Credit: Cinema Blend

“I’m running at a dead sprint and I get in, and as my right foot lands about two feet in the water, just this huge, sharp pain. I grabbed on to the boat and I just looked down and just… It hurt so bad.” Astin stepped on a shard of glass that went straight through his foot. Peter Jackson had to have him flown in a chopper to the nearest hospital 90 minutes away.

5. Isla Fisher almost died performing a magic trick filming Now You See Me (2013)

Photo Credit: IMDB

While filming a scene in which she was chained in a tank filled with water, the props went wrong. Fisher was supposed to be able to pop free of the chains holding her anytime she needed to. One set worked as designed, and the other didn’t. As a result, Fisher was literally drowning, and everyone just thought she was an amazing actress. Eventually, a few crew members caught on and freed her.

6. Robert Pattinson busted his butt filming Twilight (2008)

Photo Credit: Film Beat

Okay, he didn’t actually bust his butt, but he almost tore his glute and that’s still pretty bad. It was bad enough that he confided to MTV that he needed butt massages from a physiotherapist to get through filming. Talk about your job literally being a pain in the butt…

7. Sylvester Stallone needed 5 days in an ICU to recover from filming Rocky IV (1985)

Photo Credit: IFC

In his quest to create the most realistic boxing match he could, Stallone told Dolph Lundgren to wail on him as hard as he could and try to knock him out. He said that Lundgren hit him so hard that his heart was against his ribs, the way it would be if he was literally hit by a truck!

8. Linda Hamilton went partially deaf filming Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Photo Credit: GameSpot

Hamilton learned an important lesson about hearing protection when she forgot to use any in the elevator scene. “I fell to my knees in pain. I thought I’d been shot. The noise was so intense, so extreme, I’ll never forget it.” Like a pro, she got up from her knees, and finished off the scene.

9. Daniel Craig gave his all filming Quantum of Solace (2008)

Photo Credit: YouTube

Craig didn’t actually give his all, but he did give the tip of his finger when he accidentally sliced it off.  “I was bleeding a lot. I had to get it cauterized. Filming stopped and everybody went, ‘Oh my God! He sliced the end of his finger off!’ They went looking for it but couldn’t find it.” That’s a hardcore James Bond!

10. Jim Caviezel was struck by lightning filming The Passion of the Christ (2004)

Photo Credit: Vox

Nature actually scored a two-for-one as Caviezel and assistant director Jan Michelini were hit by different forks of the same lightning bolt. It was the second time Michelini had been hit by lightning! Call it bad luck or a sign, but that is some freaky stuff.

11. Harrison Ford and J.J. Abrams got laid up with broken bones filming Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Photo Credit: Variety

If you ever wondered whether the Millennium Falcon gets mad, question answered! It took vengeance on the cast and crew, breaking Ford’s ankle and Abrams’ back. In fairness, the hydraulic door on it tried to hurt almost everyone. It’s like Abrams told Jimmy Fallon, hydraulic doors can’t really be picked up if they don’t want to be. Ouch!

12. Channing Tatum used his head as a stud finder filming Foxcatcher (2014)

Tatum didn’t use his head to find the sexy kind of studs central casting sends over, he used it to almost find the kind that hold up walls. He was supposed to hit a prop mirror with his head and be done with it, but Tatum never goes half-speed. He hit the mirror with his head until he literally went through the wall. “I missed the stud by about four inches. I was lucky. But the cut on my head was real.”

Photo Credit: CinemaBlend

13. Cary Elwes got knocked out cold by a sword filming The Princess Bride (1987)

Photo Credit: Giphy

Elwes found out that even a small tap on the noggin from a big, heavy sword can be hazardous to your health. “I woke up in the hospital with stitches being sewn into my forehead.” That’s the danger you face when you don’t use rubber swords on set. The knockout scene looked so good, though, that it ended up being used in the film. Thankfully for Elwes, they didn’t need to get the shot from another angle.

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