Author: Caitlin Schneider

The holiday season is the most nostalgic time of year, so it only makes sense that the most popular Christmas songs are from the 1940s and ’50s. To really put a retro spin on the season, we gathered up 15 songs from even earlier—the ’10s, ’20s, and ’30s. And while they might not be coming directly out of a record player, they’re sure to put you in a very merry sepia-tinted mood.

1. “HAIL! HAIL! DAY OF DAYS” BY THE EDISON MIXED QUARTET // 1913

Perhaps the most traditional song on this list, its performers—the Edison Mixed Quartet (also sometimes referred to as the Edison Concert Band)—also recorded a few similar-sounding Christmas tunes during the early 20th century.

2. “SANTA CLAUS HIDES IN THE PHONOGRAPH” BY SANTA CLAUS HIMSELF (ERNEST HARE) // 1922

OK, this isn’t a song—but we just had to include this 1922 bit that does end with a rendition of “Jingle Bells.”

3. “AT THE CHRISTMAS BALL” BY BESSIE SMITH // 1925

If you’re a music lover, you know (and love) Bessie Smith, but you might not have heard this holiday track, which combines Smith’s soaring vocals with delightfully jazzy horns and piano.

4. “THE SANTA CLAUS CRAVE” BY ELZADIE ROBINSON // 1927

We’ve included a few blues tracks here, because, hey: the holidays are the best time to be cheerful—and depressed.

5. “SANTA CLAUS, THAT’S ME” BY VERNON DALHART // 1928

Vernon Dalhart was an important figure in the early days of American folk and country music—even with a background in opera. He auditioned for Thomas Edison and, over the course of several years, recorded hundreds of songs for Edison Records under a number of pseudonyms. After that, Dalhart began to record country songs, becoming a household name with 1924’s “The Wreck of the Old 97.”

6. “CHRISTMAS IN JAIL – AIN’T THAT A PAIN?” BY LEROY CARR // 1929

If the name didn’t tip you off, here’s another blues track. And if you find yourself in need of more, click on over here, here, here, here, here, and here. Yes, there are a surprising number of great blues songs about the holidays, and these somber tunes will definitely bring you joy.

7. “I TOLD SANTA CLAUS TO BRING ME YOU” BY BERNIE CUMMINS AND HIS ORCHESTRA // 1930

While the Christmas music of the ’40s and ’50s would start to make its way into the studio, much of the earlier music of the holidays still had that live, big band sound—including this 1930 recording.

8. “THE SANTA CLAUS EXPRESS” BY HENRY HALL FEAT. DAN DONOVAN AND THE BBC ORCHESTRA // 1933

This is the kind of song you might expect to hear in a Christmas special for kids (which is a total compliment).

9. “DOES SANTA CLAUS SLEEP WITH HIS WHISKERS OVER OR UNDER THE SHEET?” BY JACK JACKSON AND HIS ORCHESTRA // 1933

A very cheeky song honoring the age-old question you’ve never thought to ask: “Does Santa Claus sleep with his whiskers over or under the sheet?”

10. “IN A MERRY MOOD” BY BARNABAS VON GECZY AND HIS ORCHESTRA // 1934

An instrumental track that’s perfect for you if orchestra swells are what really get you in the holiday spirit.

11. “SWINGIN’ THEM JINGLE BELLS” BY FATS WALLER // 1936

“Swingin” might actually be the best way to describe this 1936 jazz carol.

12. “WHAT WILL SANTA CLAUS SAY?” BY LOUIS PRIMA & HIS NEW ORLEANS GANG // 1936

This song is sometimes listed as “What Will Santa Claus Say? (When He Finds Everybody Swingin’),” which is a pretty fun image to conjure if you ask us.

13. “THE FAIRY ON THE CHRISTMAS TREE” BY THREE SISTERS // 1936

This 1936 Christmas song sounds a bit like a scene out of an old Disney movie—and tells the tale of all the little girls who dream of being the fairy on top of the tree. (It’s OK, we’ve never had that dream either.)

14. “I WANT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS” BY RUSS MORGAN // 1937

Before “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” there was “I Want You For Christmas.”

15. “THE ONLY THING I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS” BY EDDIE CANTOR // 1939

Don’t let that creepy preview image above fool you: This 1939 song is a sweet ode to all the things we already have (with some not-so-subtle nods to the turmoil happening around the world at the time).

We know you’ve all been nice this year, but just in case, we wanted to remind you that December 5 is Krampus Night (or Krampusnacht): the night when that half-goat, half-demon spirit of Christmas chaos appears to basically be the antithesis of Saint Nicholas. He thieves, he gives out coal, and as these vintage cards indicate, generally torments all the naughty boys and girls (and men and women!) who aren’t in Santa’s good graces. Get familiar with the hairy, horned, serpentine-tongued beast—that way you’ll be able to see him coming.

1. “GRUSS VOM KRAMPUS!”

“Greetings from Krampus!”

2. KRAMPUS ON HIS BROOMSTICK

This terrifying composition is both ridiculous—and a little too realistic for our liking. 

3. KRAMPUS ON A ROCKING HORSE

No toy is safe. 

4. FOLLOW THE LEADER

This town seems to have a lot of naughty kids. 

5. KRAMPUS AND SAINT NICHOLAS

Even an evil demon beast cowers when in the presence of Old St. Nick. 

6. KRAMPUS AND SAINT NICHOLAS, VOLUME 2.0

It might seem weird for these two to look so chummy, but they’ve actually been palling around since the 17th century. Or maybe the patron saint of sailors, voyagers, merchants, repentant thieves, children, brewers, judges, perfumers, pawnbrokers, students and more, is just cheesing before ditching the Christmas devil.  

7. ROMANTIC KRAMPUS?

Not all paramours are what they seem.  

8. GIANT STUFFED TOY KRAMPUS

That’s one way to manage your fears. 

9. “GABEN DEN GUTEN! DEN SCHLIMMEN DIE RUTEN!”

The good kids get gifts from Santa and the bad ones get the Krampus’s rod, but both Christmas figures offer greetings, so there’s that!

10. HAGGARD KRAMPUS

Poor Krampus is looking worse for wear in this holiday card. Perhaps he’s had a long night of seasonal menace-making. 

11. LADY KRAMPUS

In this cheery depiction, a female Krampus “beckons with eternal chains,” and looks pretty while doing it.

12. CRAZY-EYED KRAMPUS

That basket ride would be pretty fun were it not for the mythical and punishing Christmas demon.

13. AIRBORNE KRAMPUS

Even we can admit: this looks pretty cool. 

14. INTO THE FIERY DEPTHS

Always put your best hoof forward when descending to hell with a crew of dubious, cherub-cheeked children.

15. CREEPY KRAMPUS FIGURINE, TAKE TWO

There’s been an uptick in the production of Krampus figurines in recent years, so it might be high time for you to get your own. We just hope it doesn’t become part of a toy attack like in Krampus (2015).

16. COY KRAMPUS

Is he hiding behind the fan? Is she using the fan to push him away? Either way, it might be a good idea to arm yourself with the fashionable ventilator this holiday season.

17. KRAMPUS HITS THE BOOKS

It’s unclear exactly what’s happening here, but Krampus has his spectacles on, so you know it’s serious.

Thumbing his nose at authority and whipping crowds into a frenzy, he changed music forever.

Ludwig van Beethoven was often mistaken for a vagrant. With wads of yellow cotton stuffed in his ears, he stomped around 1820s Vienna, flailing his arms, mumbling as he scribbled on scraps of paper. Residents would frequently alert the police. Once, he was tossed in jail when cops refused to believe he was the city’s most famous composer. “You’re a tramp!” they argued. “Beethoven doesn’t look like this.”

The city was crawling with spies—they lurked in taverns, markets, and coffeehouses, looking to suss out anti-aristocratic rebels. Since Beethoven seemed suspect, these spies followed him and eavesdropped on his conversations. But authorities didn’t consider him a real threat. Like the rest of Vienna, they thought he was crazy. It had been nearly 10 years since he wrote his Symphony No. 8, and just as long since he’d last given a public concert. “He is apparently quite incapable of greater accomplishments,” the newspaper Allgemeine Musikalische Zeitung concluded.

Little did they know, Beethoven was composing like a man possessed. At his apartment, he stomped out tempos and pounded his piano keys so hard the strings snapped. Sweat-stained manuscripts littered the room. He was so focused, he often forgot to empty the chamber pot under his piano.

The piece would be his grandest yet: Symphony No. 9 in D minor. With it, he planned to give those spies reason to worry—not only would the piece be political, but he intended to play it for the largest audience possible. The music, he hoped, would put the nobility in its place.

Born to a family of Flemish court musicians in 1770, Beethoven had no choice but to take up music. His grandfather was a well-respected music director in Bonn, Germany. His father, Johann, was a not-so-well-respected court singer who gave young Ludwig piano lessons. Some nights, Johann would stagger home from the tavern, barge into Ludwig’s room, and make him practice until dawn. The piano keys were routinely glazed with tears.

A decade earlier, 7-year-old Mozart had toured Europe, playing music for royal courts and generating income for his family. Johann dreamed of a similar course for his son. He lied about Ludwig’s age to make him appear younger, and for a time, even Ludwig didn’t know his real age.

But the Beethovens saw neither fame nor fortune. Johann’s drinking debts were so deep his wife had to sell her clothes. When Ludwig turned 11, his family pulled him from elementary school to focus on music full-time. The truncated education meant he never mastered spelling or simple multiplication.

By the time he was 22, Beethoven’s world had changed. His parents passed away, and he left Bonn for Vienna, where Mozart, the aristocracy’s most cherished entertainer, had recently died too. The nobles were desperate to find his replacement, and Beethoven, who improvised at the piano for royal soirees, quickly became regarded as one of Vienna’s most talented musicians—and Mozart’s heir.

But the more Beethoven hobnobbed with aristocrats, the more he despised them. Musicians were treated like cooks, maids, and shoe shiners—they were merely servants of the court. Even Mozart had to sit with the cooks at dinnertime.

Beethoven refused to be put in his place. He demanded to be seated at the head table with royalty. When other musicians arrived at court wearing wigs and silk stockings, he came in a commoner’s clothes. (Composer Luigi Cherubini said he resembled an “unlicked bear cub.”) He refused to play if he wasn’t in the mood. When other musicians performed, he talked over them. When people talked over him, he exploded and called them “swine.” Once, when his improvisations moved listeners to tears, he chastised them for crying instead of clapping.

Most musicians would have been fired for this behavior, but Beethoven’s talent was too magnetic. “He knew how to produce such an effect upon every hearer that frequently not an eye remained dry, while many would break into loud sobs,” Carl Czerny wrote in Cocks’s Musical Miscellany. So Archduke Rudolph made an exception: Beethoven could ignore court etiquette.

But Beethoven wasn’t alone in his resentment. A few hundred miles to the west, in France, aristocrats were being queued up for the guillotine, and a stiff anti-royalist air was sweeping in toward Vienna. While not a fan of bloodshed, Beethoven supported the Revolution. He loved the free thought it encouraged, and he toyed with the idea of setting music to Friedrich Schiller’s poem “Ode to Joy,” a call for brotherhood and liberty.

But he never wrote the piece. Harboring revolutionary sentiments left him in a pickle: His career depended on the people he wanted to see uprooted. So he kept quiet. As the decade wore on, Viennese nobility continued to lionize him—he rose to be one of the city’s biggest celebrities. Then his ears began to ring.

It started as a faint whistle. Doctors advised him to fill his ears with almond oil and take cold baths. Nothing worked. By 1800, his ears were buzzing day and night. Beethoven sank into depression, stopped attending social functions, and retreated to the countryside, where loneliness drove him to consider suicide.

Music kept him going. “It seemed to me impossible to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt was within me,” he wrote. At 31, he was known as a virtuoso, not as a composer. But it seemed he had little choice. He snuffed his performing career and dedicated himself to writing.

Artistically, isolation had its benefits. Every morning, he woke at 5:30 a.m. and composed for two hours until breakfast. Then he wandered through meadows, a pencil and notebook in hand, lost in thought. Sketching ideas, he mumbled, waved his arms, sang, and stomped. One time, he made such a ruckus that a yoke of oxen began to stampede. He often forgot to sleep or eat, but did pause to make coffee—counting precisely 60 beans for each cup. He sat in restaurants for hours, scribbling music on napkins, menus, even windows. Distracted, he’d accidentally pay other people’s bills.

He started grumbling more openly about politics. He admired Napoleon and planned on publicly naming his third symphony for the general. It was a daring move: Napoleon was imperial Austria’s enemy. But when Napoleon declared himself Emperor of the French, Beethoven was disgusted. “Now he will trample on all human rights and indulge only his own ambition. He will place himself above everyone and become a tyrant,” he wrote, ditching the dedication. In 1809, Napoleon’s troops stormed into Vienna. The booming of his cannons hurt Beethoven’s eardrums so much he retreated to the cellar and buried his head under pillows.

In 1814, Napoleon’s empire collapsed and Austria’s nobility attempted to restore order. Within a few years, Prince Klemens von Metternich had established the world’s first modern police state. The press was banned from publishing without the state’s blessing. The government removed university professors who expounded “harmful doctrines hostile to public order.” Undercover cops infested Vienna. Beethoven’s contempt for power grew.

Although he still had royal patrons, Beethoven had fewer friends in high places. Many were missing or dead, and his ordinary friends were just as unlucky—briefly jailed or censored. Thankfully, Beethoven wrote instrumental music. For years, listeners considered it an inferior, even vulgar, art form compared to song or poetry. But as tyrants returned to power, Romantic thinkers like E.T.A. Hoffmann and Goethe praised instrumental music as a place for solace and truth. “The censor cannot hold anything against musicians,” Franz Grillparzer told Beethoven. “If they only knew what you think about in your music!”

That’s when the composer made the brash decision to return to Schiller’s “Ode to Joy.” Censors in Vienna had banned Schiller’s works in 1783, then reauthorized it 25 years later only after some whitewashing. (The original says, “Beggars will become the brothers of princes.” Beethoven had stronger feelings, writing in his notebook, “Princes are beggars.”) Adding words to a symphony would destroy the safety net of ambiguity that instrumental composers enjoyed, spelling Beethoven’s motives out for all to hear.

On May 7, 1824, Vienna’s Kärntnertor Theater was packed. Beethoven had spent months preparing for this moment, corralling nearly 200 musicians and dealing with censors who quibbled over a religious work on the program. They did not, however, complain about Symphony No. 9. No one had heard it yet.

Beethoven took the conductor’s baton, beating time for the start of each movement. The musicians’ eyes were glued to his every move, but in reality, none of them followed his lead. They had been ordered not to. Stone deaf, Beethoven was an unreliable conductor, so a friend actually led the orchestra.

The piece was four movements long and lasted a little more than an hour. The first three movements were purely instrumental; the last contained Schiller’s ode. But when one of the movements finished, the hall exploded with applause. Modern audiences would scold such behavior, but during Beethoven’s lifetime, a public concert was more like a rock show. People spontaneously clapped, cheered, and booed mid-performance.

As the audience hollered for more, Beethoven continued waving his arms, oblivious to the cheering and sea of waving handkerchiefs behind him. The applause was so loud, and lasted for so long, that the police had to yell for silence. When the performance finished, a teary-eyed Beethoven almost fainted.

The Ninth was a hit. But not with the aristocracy, who never showed up. Undeterred, Beethoven kept with tradition and dedicated the Symphony to a royal, King Friedrich Wilhelm III of Prussia. He sent the King a copy of the score and, in return, the King sent Beethoven a beautiful diamond ring. It appeared to be a gift of gratitude, but when Beethoven took the ring to a jeweler to sell it, the jeweler had bad news: The diamond was fake. Beethoven had clearly pushed some buttons.

The Ninth would be Beethoven’s last, and most famous, symphony. When he died in 1827, some 20,000 people filled the streets for his funeral. Schools were closed. Soldiers were called to ensure order. Five years later, people suggested erecting a Beethoven monument in Bonn. In the 1840s, Bonn celebrated its first “Beethoven Festival.” Salespeople hawked Beethoven neckties, Beethoven cigars, and even Beethoven pants.

All of it was groundbreaking. Never before had a musician garnered so much attention. It indicated a larger cultural sea change: A society that reveres artists and makes them celebrities. In a way, Beethoven was the world’s first rock star.

Beethoven-worship changed the course of art history. Isolated. Autonomous. Rebellious. Sublime. He was Romanticism’s posterboy, and his stature elevated the meaning of artist: No longer a skilled craftsman, like a cook or carpenter, an artist became a person who suffered to express emotions, genius, or—in drippier language—their soul. Beethoven’s success helped cement ideas that now define Western art.

And, of course, his influence on classical music is vast. The bigger, stronger modern piano emerged partly to accommodate his pieces. The first professional orchestras appeared in his wake, many with the goal of preserving his work. He was one of the first musicians to be canonized. Some argue the movement to immortalize his work eventually made classical music turn stale.

Before Beethoven, the works of dead composers were rarely played. But by the 1870s, dead composers owned the concert hall. They still do today. Aaron Copland would complain that “musical art, as we hear it in our day, suffers if anything from an overdose of masterworks.” John Cage bemoaned that “[Beethoven’s] influence, which has been as extensive as it is lamentable, has been deadening to the art of music.” Indeed, attending a classical music concert can be like visiting a museum.

It’s often forgotten that the piece that secured Beethoven’s status as an icon and reshaped the course of classical music was, at its heart, a powerful work of politics. In concentration camps during World War II, prisoners took solace in Beethoven’s message of freedom. In one heartbreaking tale, a children’s choir rehearsed “Ode to Joy” in Auschwitz’s latrines. It’s been sung at every Olympic Games since 1956. When the Berlin Wall fell, Leonard Bernstein conducted the Ninth with musicians from both sides of the divide. Today, it’s the national anthem of the European Union, and the message remains relevant. The same problems that plagued Vienna nearly 200 years ago—war, inequality, censorship, surveillance—have not disappeared. Perhaps it’s naive to believe that “all men will become brothers,” as the piece proclaims. But Beethoven, who never heard his own symphony, didn’t write it for himself. He wrote it for others. It’s our job to not only hear his message, but also to truly listen.

To listen to Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9, jump to 33:45 in the audio file below.

Whether you’re a holiday season fanatic who wants even more to celebrate, or a Scrooge with a burning desire to buck tradition, we’ve got plenty of unconventional observances to put on your calendar. 

1. DECEMBER 2: NATIONAL SALESPERSON’S DAY

Let’s face it: If you want to look like the woman above come December 25, you’re going to need some help. Give a tip of the (Santa) hat on this day to the many salespeople who make your gift-giving look easy.

2. DECEMBER 5: BATHTUB PARTY DAY

There’s a lot to be done between now and the end of the year. Take a minute to breathe, relax, and take in a soak.

3. DECEMBER 10: GINGERBREAD DECORATING DAY

If you’re anything like us, your cookies won’t look like these perfectly-piped confections. Thankfully, it doesn’t matter.

4. DECEMBER 12: POINSETTIA DAY

This day doesn’t just celebrate the festive flower—it also marks the death of its namesake, Joel Roberts Poinsett. The botanist (and first U.S. Ambassador to Mexico) brought clippings of Euphorbia pulcherrima back to the States from southern Mexico, and grew the plant at his South Carolina home.

5. DECEMBER 15: CAT HERDERS DAY

You’re probably a cat herder yourself from time to time. This day is for you.

6. DECEMBER 17: WRIGHT BROTHERS DAY

This day marks the 114th anniversary of the Wright Brothers’ historic first flight.

7. DECEMBER 21: CELEBRATE SHORT FICTION DAY

You don’t have to curl up by the fire with festive socks and your beverage of choice when you take some time out to read a short story on this day, but … why wouldn’t you?

8. DECEMBER 21: FOREFATHERS’ DAY

The Mayflower Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock on this day in 1620.

9. DECEMBER 21: HUMBUG DAY

Get out all your bahs and scowls and growls now—no one will tolerate them come Christmas.

10. DECEMBER 21: PHILEAS FOGG WIN A WAGER DAY

In Jules Verne’s 1873 classic novel Around the World in 80 Days, Phileas Fogg bets that he can travel the entire globe, between 8:45 p.m. on October 2, and 8:45 p.m. on December 21. Keep an eye out for him on this day.

11. DECEMBER 25: A’PHABET DAY

A pun on “noel,” this offbeat ce’ebration is designed to high’ight the arbitrary nature of many of the year’s si”ier ho’idays. Whi’e you’re unwrapping presents and eating your Christmas feast, ‘eave a” the “L”s out of written and spoken communication for a festive activity that wi” sure’y infuriate your ‘oved ones.

12. DECEMBER 29: TICK TOCK DAY

In case you needed another reminder of the inevitable passage of time and/or an occasion to reevaluate how those 2016 resolutions are going!

13. DECEMBER 30: NO INTERRUPTIONS DAY

Things are probably pretty quiet in the days leading up to 2017. Why not take this opportunity to disconnect and get some things done (or nothing at all).

14. DECEMBER 31: MAKE UP YOUR MIND DAY

A day for all the indecisive people out there. This New Year’s Eve, pick a (figurative or literal!) door and walk through it! See y’all on the other side in 2017.

Holidays found in Chase’s Calendar of Events 2016. All photos courtesy of iStock unless otherwise noted.

It pays to be a smart shopper—especially during the holiday season. So as you head to the bookstore this year with your list of beloved gift recipients, we want to arm you with some seriously bright ideas. These 50 books will cover everyone on your list, and maybe even inspire some much-deserved self-gifting. And if you need even more fabulous texts, be sure to check our guide from last year, because great books are never out of date.

1. FOR THE BUDDING GENIUS: WOMEN IN SCIENCE: 50 FEARLESS PIONEERS WHO CHANGED THE WORLD BY RACHEL IGNOTOFSKY

Female pioneers often go underrepresented in the history books—especially in the fields of science and mathematics—but this tome aims to tip the scales. Ignotofsky’s picture book features 50 inspiring, beautifully illustrated mini-biographies of trailblazers, inventors, and heroes. (Consider keeping the girl power going by picking up Bonnie Burton’s Crafting with Feminism, which features 25 awesome projects ranging from finger puppets of kick ass women to “em-broad-ery hoop art.”)

Buy at Amazon.

2. FOR YOUR ROOMMATE, THE GERMAPHOBIC POET: ON IMMUNITY: AN INOCULATION BY EULA BISS

Lyrical prose meets juicy research and personal narrative in poet Eula Biss’s meditation on contamination and purity. The book rightly blurs the line between medical and cultural history, tapping into fears both ancient (vampirism and the stain of sin) and current (toxins in baby products, contaminated vaccines). Biss arrives at no tidy conclusions, preferring instead to dwell vulnerably in the uncertainty of motherhood and modern life.

Buy at Amazon.

3. FOR THE CURRENT EVENTS JUNKIE:BREAKING CAT NEWS: CATS REPORTING ON THE NEWS THAT MATTERS TO CATS BY GEORGIA DUNN

Breaking Cat News began as a joke among friends, as cartoonist Georgia Dunn imagined her three cats reporting on mundane events in their little world. The joke took off, and today this “surreal and sweet” comic (Publishers Weekly) has joined Garfield in the comics section of newspapers across the country. The book is a terrific introduction to the boys in the newsroom and makes a great gift for fans of comics, cats, and hard-hitting journalism. (Cat owners will especially identify with BCN’s investigation on the bathroom titled “The Woman Is In a Room We Can’t Get Into.”)

Buy at Amazon.

4. FOR THE HARRY POTTER-OBSESSED MUGGLE: HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE: THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION BY J.K. ROWLING AND JIM KAY

If you’ve been thinking it’s time to reread the Harry Potter series, there’s no better way to start than with the vivid illustrations of Jim Kay. The British artist reimagines the expansive world with a new full-colored edition of the first book in the series. The entire illustrated series will eventually be published, but so far you can only purchase the first two. Kay has gone on record as a huge fan of the series, so you know the beloved characters are in good hands.

Buy at Amazon.

5. FOR THAT FRIEND WHO CAN APPRECIATE A DARN FINE CUP OF COFFEE: THE SECRET HISTORY OF TWIN PEAKS: A NOVEL BY MARK FROST

The new Twin Peaks season isn’t coming out until 2017, but you can bide the time with a new novel from co-creator Mark Frost. Presented like a history book, the novel details the events of the town, starting with Lewis and Clark’s journals and ending with the events in the show’s finale. The intention of the book is to expand on the mythology of the show without giving away any spoilers of the new season.

Buy at Amazon.

6. FOR THE ADVENTUROUS HOMECOOK: ALTON BROWN: EVERYDAYCOOK BY ALTON BROWN

For nearly two decades, Alton Brown has turned his fans on to the science of good eats though his informative books and TV shows. His latest cookbook, titled EveryDayCook, takes a more personal look at the culinary habits of the uber-nerdy celebrity chef. As Brown puts it, the recipes in this book reflect what he cooks “to feed myself and people in my immediate vicinity.” If lacquered bacon and “Chocapocalypse” cookies are among his standbys, anyone in his immediate vicinity should count themselves lucky.

Buy at Amazon.

7. FOR THE FRIEND WHO NEVER GOT RID OF HIS TOY DINOSAUR COLLECTION: THE TYRANNOSAUR CHRONICLES: THE BIOLOGY OF THE TYRANT DINOSAURS BY DAVID HONE

Tyrannosaurs were the undisputed kings of the dinosaurs when they roamed the Earth 65 million years ago. All they left behind were their fossilized bones and some footprints, but as David Hone shows in this exhaustively-researched book, that can tell us a lot about how these creatures once lived. From how they hunted to what they looked like, The Tyrannosaur Chronicles delves into the biology of these tyrant lizards with surprising detail.

Buy at Amazon.

8. FOR THE FRIEND WITH AN ANNUAL AQUARIUM MEMBERSHIP: THE SOUL OF AN OCTOPUS: A SURPRISING EXPLORATION INTO THE WONDER OF CONSCIOUSNESS BY SY MONTGOMERY

After reading this book,you’ll never look at a cephalopod the same way again. For The Soul of an Octopus, author and naturalist Sy Montgomery made regular trips to the New England Aquarium where she forged intimate connections with its eight-armed residents. The book uses the intelligent animal as a springboard for asking heavy questions about the nature of consciousness while teaching readers a bit of marine biology at the same time.

Buy at Amazon.

9. FOR THE FRIEND WHO HAS SEEN EVERY FREAKIN’ SHOW: TV (THE BOOK): TWO EXPERTS PICK THE GREATEST AMERICAN SHOWS OF ALL TIME BY ALAN SEPINWALL AND MATT ZOLLER SEITZ

The next time you’re prepared to binge on a classic television series, you should hit the streaming sites armed with Sepinwall and Seitz’s gloriously geeky examination of the greatest American shows to ever air on the small screen. The two critics don’t always agree—their verbatim exchanges about how to rank all-timers like Breaking Bad and The Wire are a highlight—but their passion for the medium is infectious.

Buy at Amazon.

10. FOR THE TRUE CRIME FANATIC: MOP MEN: INSIDE THE WORLD OF CRIME SCENE CLEANERS BY ALAN EMMINS

Journalist Emmins became so intrigued by the morbid duties of crime scene cleaners that he decided to tail one in San Francisco. With Emmins alternating questions with dry heaves, Mop Men is by turns hilarious, disgusting, and poignant, a peek inside an industry that few care to think about and even fewer are prepared to explore.

Buy at Amazon.

11. FOR ADVOCATES BRIMMING WITH PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE: PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE: POWER, REAL ESTATE AND THE FIGHT TO SAVE A PUBLIC LIBRARY BY SCOTT SHERMAN

In a riveting expose of bureaucracy almost trumping art, Sherman details a misguided 2008 economic plan to dissolve the New York Public Library locations and store their remains—including the famous lions—in New Jersey. It took a team effort of professors and citizen groups to keep the historic collection in one piece.

Buy at Amazon.

12. FOR THOSE WHO KNOW THAT ANIMALS ARE THE BEST MEDICINE: H IS FOR HAWK BY HELEN MACDONALD

Some people struggle with grief by throwing themselves into work; Helen Macdonald decided to procure a hawk. The result is a highly original memoir of a falconer who bonds with an ornery bird and finds a way to cope with her father’s death in the process.

Buy at Amazon.

13. FOR THE ’80s KID: ART OF ATARI BY TIM LAPETINO

Video games have earned considerable respect since Atari’s heyday, but appreciation for their covert art has lagged behind. That’s likely to change with Lapetino’s coffee table guide to some of the company’s biggest hits, with commentary and rough sketches provided by the artists.

Buy at Amazon.

14. FOR THE DANA SCULLY IN YOUR LIFE: THE UNPERSUADABLES: ADVENTURES WITH THE ENEMIES OF SCIENCE BY WILL STORR

Journalist Will Storr embeds with Holocaust deniers, UFO-chasers, young earth creationists, and people who believe in baby-eating cults as he pursues a great mystery: How and why do people believe in the unbelievable? Throughout this thought-provoking romp, Storr stumbles upon the psychological biases that distort our handling of reality and arrives at a stunning conclusion—your world is shaped by a hardwired knack for storytelling.

Buy at Amazon.

15. FOR THE AUDIO/HISTORY/CULTURE-PHILE: THE REST IS NOISE: LISTENING TO THE TWENTIETH CENTURY BY ALEX ROSS

Most books about classical music only appeal to fans of classical music, preaching—sometimes literally—to the choir. Not this book. Ross, a music critic at The New Yorker, paints a history of 20th century western music without drowning us in the usual deluge of composer hagiographies. Instead, with colorful stories and nimble analysis, he illustrates how musical moods and movements reflected, and occasionally contributed to, the tumult of 20th century society. Readers will come away with a new understanding not just of western music, but of the past century.

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16. FOR THOSE IN PURSUIT OF THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED: ATLAS OBSCURA: AN EXPLORER’S GUIDE TO THE WORLD’S HIDDEN WONDERS, EDITED BY JOSHUA FOER, DYLAN THURAS, AND ELLA MORTON

If this compendium of the weirdest, wackiest, and most wonderful destinations on the planet doesn’t fill you with insatiable wanderlust, then you need to check your pulse.

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17. FOR THE WRITER: STYLE: THE BASICS OF CLARITY AND GRACE BY JOSEPH WILLIAMS AND JOSEPH BIZUP

Hey, writers! Joseph Williams’ guide for wordsmiths is the only style book you will ever need. (Sorry, Strunk and White. Your finger-wagging Elements of Style is overrated.) Emphasizing principles over prescriptions, Williams will teach you how to write clear, shapely, elegant sentences. And that’s not even the most amazing part: It’s also fun to read.

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18. FOR THE BIBLIOPHILE: YOU COULD LOOK IT UP: THE REFERENCE SHELF FROM ANCIENT BABYLON TO WIKIPEDIA BY JACK LYNCH

Dictionaries, encyclopedias, and other reference books are supposed to be dry, dusty, and boring … right? Not true says Lynch, an English professor at Rutgers University: “[Reference book] authors are not always sexless cartoon characters but include quirky geniuses, revolutionary firebrands, and impassioned culture warriors, many of them with the unflagging intellectual energy of a whirling dervish.” This is the story of the people who cataloged and preserved the world’s knowledge. What could be more exciting?

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19. FOR THE LOVER OF GHOST STORIES: GHOSTLAND: AN AMERICAN HISTORY IN HAUNTED PLACES BY COLIN DICKEY

About half of Americans believe in ghosts, depending on what poll you want to put your faith in. Why are ghost stories perennially popular in a nation that likes to imagine it’s science-forward?

The answer, of course, is that ghosts serve a social and emotional purpose for us, which means they’re worth considering in depth. In Ghostland, Dickey takes a historical and anthropological approach to the spooky tales that haunt many of the nation’s famous places, from the plantations of the South to the midcentury hotels of Los Angeles. He shows how such stories often highlight some of the darkest aspects of our history—slavery, conflict with Native Americans—while also intersecting with more modern sources of anxiety, such as the foreclosure crisis. The book might not change whether or not you believe in ghosts—that’s not the point—but it will change how you think about the next spooky tale someone tells you.

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20. FOR THE BIOGRAPHY READER: SHIRLEY JACKSON: A RATHER HAUNTED LIFE BY RUTH FRANKLIN

Author Shirley Jackson was controversial in life: Her short story “The Lottery,” published in The New Yorker in 1948, prompted widespread outrage, and despite being popular with many fans, her work was often dismissed by critics. But her crystalline portraits of desperate women and small-town horror have stayed fresh, and are now undergoing renewed interest. In a new biography, author and critic Ruth Franklin explores Jackson’s troubled life in New England, where the author nurtured her creative genius and several children amid an often-difficult marriage, trouble with the neighbors, and substance addictions that may have hastened her death.

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21. FOR YOUR BOJACK HORSEMAN-LOVING SIBLING: HOT DOG TASTE TEST BY LISA HANAWALT

You don’t need to love—or even particularly like—hot dogs to appreciate the delightfully odd stream-of-consciousness work that is Lisa Hanawalt’s sophomore graphic novel, Hot Dog Taste Test. The American cuisine staple is merely a springboard for Hanawalt to explore a smorgasbord of colorful musings like, are runny eggs actually bad? Or (from her James Beard Award-winning piece “On the Trail With Wylie”) why isn’t poop called “doof,” since that is food spelled backwards? Hot Dog Taste Test is the rare type of book that has the capacity to inspire “foodies” and casual consumers alike to log the minutiae of day-to-day life in hopes of one day churning out a book that is, at best, half as clever or delicious.

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22. FOR THE RELATIVE WHO LOVED THE DA VINCI CODE: THE VOYNICH MANUSCRIPT, EDITED BY RAYMOND CLEMENS

The Voynich Manuscript is a mysterious medieval text, written in a language no one can read. For years it’s baffled the world’s best cryptologists, trumped the most powerful code-breaking computers, and been written off as a masterful hoax—cracked and debunked, again and again. This new examination of the artifact includes photographs as well as essays from experts who tackle the bizarre manuscript from a variety of angles. Who knows, maybe you’re the one who can put all the puzzle pieces together.

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23. FOR THE ENGINEERING STUDENT: RISE OF THE ROCKET GIRLS: THE WOMEN WHO PROPELLED US, FROM MISSILES TO THE MOON TO MARS BY NATHALIA HOLT

The so-called “rocket girls” were the women of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in the ’40s and ’50s—the decades leading up to the Apollo missions and, of course, man walking on the moon. Their story has been largely absent from the history of space travel, but Holt puts a spotlight on these mathematicians (they were also called “human computers”) and the invaluable work they did to revolutionize rocket design, develop satellites, and propel humankind to the final frontier.

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24. FOR THE STARGAZER: COMING OF AGE IN THE MILKY WAY BY TIMOTHY FERRIS

Ferris’s history of cosmology and astronomy is a compellingly written, accessible tour of many of the main people behind humanity’s biggest insights into the nature of the universe. It’s a classic of popular science writing from one of the world’s most accomplished science journalists.

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25. FOR THE MEDICAL STUDENT (WHO ACTUALLY HAS TIME TO READ WHILE ON HOLIDAY BREAK): THE IMMORTAL LIFE OF HENRIETTA LACKS BY REBECCA SKLOOT

In 1951, Henrietta Lacks, a poor African-American tobacco farmer and mother of five, died of cervical cancer. She died without knowing that the doctors who had treated her for the disease had also removed cervical cells from her body to study and manipulate. These cells, known as HeLa, lived on, and became vital to the development of polio vaccine, cloning, gene mapping, in vitro fertilization, and much more. In this award-winning book, Skloot explores the impact of Lacks’ “immortal” cells on both medicine and her family in engrossing—and often painful—detail.

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26. FOR LITERALLY ANYONE WITH A HEART: SLOTHLOVE BY SAM TRULL

A coffee table book packed with ridiculously adorable pictures of—and fascinating facts about—sloths, this volume offers up both the heart and science of wildlife conservationist Sam Trull, who rescues, rehabs, and releases wild orphan sloths in Costa Rica, all while enlarging the scientific knowledge of these largely mysterious (and did we mention ridiculously adorable?) animals. It’ll delight your brain—and make your day.

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27. FOR THE CURIOUS FOODIE: THE OXFORD COMPANION TO AMERICAN FOOD AND DRINK, EDITED BY ANDREW F. SMITH

If you’re more interested in the why, when, and who of cooking and food than the “how” that cookbooks give you, crack open this reliably fascinating reference that covers all the people, places, and trends that lead us to eat the things we eat. With thousands of concise entries spread across hundreds of pages, the volume gives you the opportunity to fall into a delicious rabbit hole of culinary knowledge. On one page, you’ll learn about how Russian immigrant Samuel Born invented a way to automate putting sticks in lollipops before founding the Peeps giant Just Born. On the next, you’ll learn how Carl Karcher turned a $311 loan into the Carl’s Jr. empire. You’ll only want to put it down when you get so hungry you’ve got to stop for a snack.

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28. FOR THE CRAFTER: PEOPLE KNITTING: A CENTURY OF PHOTOGRAPHS BY BARBARA LEVINE

Here’s a book you judge by its cover. This collection of vintage photographs of crafters with their yarn and needles is a charming look at a skill that spans time and demographics. It serves as a history of knitting itself, and how its place in the culture has changed over the decades. It’s sure to inspire your favorite knitter’s next big project.

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29. FOR YOUR OWN ZIGGY STARDUST: DAVID BOWIE RETROSPECTIVE AND COLORING BOOK BY MEL ELLIOT

David Bowie was one of the few people actually deserving of the designation of “icon.” The ever-evolving folklore and imagery surrounding him were as important as the music itself—which makes Bowie a surprisingly apt candidate to be at the center of a coloring book. It’s a perfect way to remember the Thin White Duke, from David Jones (his given name) to his turn as Jareth the Goblin King in the 1986 film, Labyrinth.

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30. FOR YOUR FRIEND WHO’S ALWAYS MORE INTERESTED IN THE PICTURES: THE ART OF BEATRIX POTTER BY EMILY ZACH

Long before she created her best-known work (The Tale of Peter Rabbit), Beatrix Potter was drawing and painting (and studying) landscapes, plants, and animals in gorgeous detail. Her works, much like the natural history art we often see in museums and reference books, are delicate reflections of the biological world. Amid photographs, notebook pages, and essays, this collection traces Potter’s inspirations, and the work that preceded her classic book.

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31. FOR THE FRIEND WHO CAN SING ALL THE WORDS TO HAMILTON: THE HAMILTON COLLECTION, EDITED BY DAN TUCKER

Thanks to the insanely popular Broadway show based on his life, interest in Alexander Hamilton has never been greater. For those with an insatiable appetite for all things related to the founding father, there’s Tucker’s collection of writings from the man himself. All manner of ephemera are included—from government correspondence to love letters with Elizabeth Schuyler (who would become his wife), and even Aaron Burr. There’s no better way to get a sense of the man behind the legend. And lest we inadvertently cause a duel, let us also recommend Alexander Hamilton’s Guide to Life by Jeff Wilser—which includes even more nuggets of wisdom, straight from Ham. (As Wilser notes in the introduction, the dude loved maxims, and used the word 209 times in one collection of his writings.)

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32. FOR THE FRIEND WHO LIKES TO PSYCHOANALYZE EVERY CONVERSATION: PSYCHOBOOK: GAMES, TESTS, QUESTIONNAIRES, HISTORIES, EDITED BY JULIAN ROTHENSTEIN

Whether or not you believe that all of your adult anxieties are your mother’s fault, there’s no denying that the history of psychology—both as a science and a cultural obsession—is endlessly fascinating. This gorgeous coffee table book offers a comprehensive peek into the history of psychological testing, by gathering up dozens of photographs, illustrations, and psychological tests that have been used to delve deeper into people’s psyches over the years. (Yes, there’s a whole chapter dedicated to inkblots.) When you consider the cost of an hour’s worth of therapy, the $30 cover price is a steal.

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33. FOR THE PARENT WHO CONSTANTLY UPS THEIR GARDENING GAME: EXPLORERS’ BOTANICAL NOTEBOOK: IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF THEOPHRASTUS, MARCO POLO FLINDERS, DARWIN, SPEKE AND HOOKER BY FLORENCE THINARD

If you’ve ever wanted to peek inside the workbook of a scientist, here’s your chance. The Explorers’ Botanical Notebook catalogs the work of 80 pioneering botanists, with gorgeous spreads showing their findings, thoughts, notes, stories, and more. These naturalists traveled the world with the intent of finding, collecting, observing, and preserving the world’s flora. The collection includes maps, photographs, and sketches, and truly feels like a glimpse inside the quite tactile work of history’s botanical explorers.

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34. FOR THE FRIEND WHO’S MORE OF AN OBSERVER: OVERVIEW: A NEW PERSPECTIVE OF EARTH BY BENJAMIN GRANT

It’s amazing what a shift in perspective can do. Grant’s compilation of satellite images of everything from cities, to the ocean, to tulip fields in the Netherlands, takes a look at Earth from above, and offers a revealing glimpse at the planet and our impact on it. For a taste of the “overview effect” (a term for the feeling astronauts experience when they look down at Earth from space) check out the Instagram account where the project began.

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35. FOR THE MAP ENTHUSIAST: YOU ARE HERE BY KATHARINE HARMON

New York City is among the most mapped places in the history of the world, 200 of which can be found in this collection. Harmon has compiled maps depicting NYC in stunning real and imagined forms. From a Ghostbusters subway map to Brooklyn composed in constellations, with these renderings, even the most knowledgeable New Yorker will walk away seeing the city in a whole new light. (And for even more cartographical awesomeness, check out Harmon’s previous book.)

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36. FOR THE FRIEND WHO’S ALWAYS SENDING YOU INFOGRAPHICS: DEAR DATA BY GIORGIA LUPI AND STEFANIE POSAVEC

It’s a great time to be a numbers nerd, and this gorgeously sketched book brings data visualizations—something usually reserved for the world wide web—to paper, with a healthy dose of humanity. Dear Data chronicles one year of correspondence between Giorgia Lupi, an Italian living in New York, and Stefanie Posavec, an American in London. The pair swap postcards full of writings and sketches, turning the details of everyday life into data sets. It’s a whole new way of looking at the particulars of life that often go unchronicled.

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37. FOR THE INFRASTRUCTURE NERD: WHO BUILT THAT? BRIDGES: AN INTRODUCTION TO TEN GREAT BRIDGES AND THEIR DESIGNERS BY DIDIER CORNILLE

The Who Built That? series spotlights the practical design we often take for granted. Author Didier Cornille previously tackled modern homes and skyscrapers, and he’s now turned his eye toward bridges, specifically 10 famous bridges—from the Golden Gate to Sydney Harbour—in appreciation of the engineering, raw materials, and design that brought them to fruition. Simple and engaging drawings elevate the work, paving the road for even those who might’ve never considered the grandeur of this ubiquitous piece of design.

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38. FOR THE AMATEUR LINGUIST: SPEAKING AMERICAN: HOW Y’ALL, YOUSE, AND YOU GUYS TALK BY JOHN KATZ

In 2013, The New York Times released an interactive dialect quiz, created by Katz, that you yourself probably took, or at least saw on Facebook. (It reportedly became the most viewed page in the paper’s history.) That quiz, highlighting how word choice—about everything from athletic footwear to the sweet stuff we spread on top of a cake—can locate us geographically, is now a book. It’s a fun look at language quirks, and what they can tell us about history, language, and who we are.

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39. FOR THE FRIEND WITH AN INSTAGRAM DEDICATED TO THEIR CAT: THE LION IN THE LIVING ROOM BY ABIGAIL TUCKER

Love cats? Instead of watching yet another YouTube video of an adorable kitten, check out The Lion in the Living Room (2016)—Smithsonian science correspondent Abigail Tucker’s in-depth look at Felus catus. By tracing the history of feline domestication, Tucker explains why the tiny animals may have chosen to form a relationship with humans. She also takes a look at the ecological harm caused by cats, and tries to figure out why our culture is currently obsessed with all things fuzzy and whiskered.

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40. FOR THE CRAFTY WORDSMITH: WHAT THE DICKENS?! DISTINCTLY DICKENSIAN WORDS AND HOW TO USE THEM BY BRYAN KOZLOWSKI

Charles Dickens’s fiction featured convoluted plots and eccentric characters, but his colorful language is what truly takes center stage. Writer Bryan Kozlowski scoured 15 of the Victorian author’s books and hundreds of his short stories for 200 eccentric turns of phrase, and compiled them all in a handy reference book explaining their definition and historical context.

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41. FOR THE RESIDENT MIXOLOGIST: CONTRABAND COCKTAILS: HOW AMERICA DRANK WHEN IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BY PAUL DICKSON

Even the most skilled booze-slingers might not know about the cocktails that surreptitiously flowed during Prohibition. This look at the cocktail culture of the era fuses history, literature, music, and more, with recipes and plenty of geeky libation lingo to keep every reader entertained. After all, shouldn’t a cocktail book be a good party in itself?

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42. FOR ALL THE LADIES (AND THE GENTS, TOO): ALL THE SINGLE LADIES BY REBECCA TRAISTER

Society has lots of names for unmarried women; none of them (with the exception of “cat lady,” of course) are especially flattering. In this fascinating investigation, Traister admits that she set out to write about the state of the Single Woman in America today. But through a deep and comprehensive look into the history and current state of the demographic, Traister finds that single women have always been a force to be reckoned with, and have shaped the course of our nation’s history in profound ways—which only becomes more relevant as the group continues to grow. (For a look at what it was like to be a woman in the Victorian era, pick up Therese Oneill’s Unmentionables: The Victorian Lady’s Guide to Sex, Marriage, and Manners.)

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43. FOR FOR THE YOUNG ARCHITECTURE BUFF WHO KNOWS WHAT “USONIAN” MEANS: THIS IS FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT BY IAN VOLNER AND MICHAEL KIRKHAM

Frank Lloyd Wright is one of history’s most famous architects. He was also a failure. For every success that this pioneer of the open floor plan had (and there were many, many of them), he also suffered many setbacks. This graphic-filled biography follows the ups and downs of the revered architect’s life and work. It’s the first in Lawrence King Publishing’s “This Is” series, which takes a graphic novel-esque approach to art history, telling the life story of some of the world’s most creative minds (Andy Warhol, Paul Gauguin, and Jackson Pollock are among the series’ other subjects) in a way that would make Stan Lee jealous. Just with more cantilevers.

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44. FOR WANNABE WHITTLERS: GOOD CLEAN FUN: MISADVENTURES IN SAWDUST AT OFFERMAN WOODSHOP BY NICK OFFERMAN

Nick Offerman is best known as the mustachioed actor who played a guy with a passion for fine steaks and woodworking on Parks and Recreation. In real life, there’s a lot of Ron Swanson in the actor, who has written two New York Times bestsellers in the past three years. His latest lifestyle contribution takes a peek inside Offerman Woodshop, an East Los Angeles collective of talented woodworkers—Offerman included—who regularly produce an amazing collection of handcrafted furniture and appropriately quirky items like kazoos and moustache combs. The photo-filled book offers an impressive collection of what Offerman calls “wood porn” and may just inspire you to try crafting your own wooden beer opener.

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45. FOR THE LONG READS JUNKIE: NOTHING TO ENVY: ORDINARY LIVES IN NORTH KOREA BY BARBARA DEMICK

Told through the experiences of six residents over the course of 15 years, Nothing to Envy is a snapshot of North Korea during the tumultuous late ’90s and aughts. Demick is a longtime Los Angeles Times reporter and her probe into a country that’s largely hidden to the Western world brings a human perspective to a population under totalitarian rule. It’s heart-wrenching—and essential—reading.

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46. FOR THE ATHLETE: FOX TOSSING, OCTOPUS WRESTLING AND OTHER FORGOTTEN SPORTS BY EDWARD BROOKE-HITCHING

Being an expert on sports history isn’t just about knowing obscure stats and athletes—it’s also about cataloging the lesser-known pastimes. Take “aerial golf,” which consisted of a player on the course and a pilot in the skies above, who would tee off by dropping balls from the aircraft. Or “dwile flonking,” a 1960s sport-of-sorts in which locals in Norfolk, England gathered to dance to an accordion and hit one another in the face with beer-soaked rags. Hey, we didn’t say they all made sense.

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47. FOR THE RECENT GRADUATE: MY SALINGER YEAR BY JOANNA RAKOFF

This spiritual sibling to The Devil Wears Prada takes place in the publishing world, where Rakoff worked after leaving graduate school in the ’90s. She gets a job at an agency that represents J.D. Salinger, and is tasked with replying to his many pieces of fan mail. Rather than brushing them off with the standard form-based reply, Rakoff starts to pen more thoughtful responses. The poignant and funny memoir is about the industry, as well as finding your place in the art world and the world at large.

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48. FOR YOUR TRIVIA TEAM: 1234 QUITE INTERESTING FACTS TO LEAVE YOU SPEECHLESS BY JOHN LLOYD, JOHN MITCHINSON, AND JAMES HARKIN

You wouldn’t be reading this list if you weren’t hungry for some knowledge—and QI serves it up in bite size morsels that you can devour and dish out to impress even the savviest trivia nerds. One of our current favorites: “Cockroaches can hold their breath for 40 minutes.”

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49. FOR THE FRIEND WHO DOESN’T ACCEPT SUBSTITUTES: BUTTER: A RICH HISTORY BY ELAINE KHOSROVA

Most of us can agree that butter is one of life’s many treasures—but it also has a fascinating history. Khosrova traces the storied past of the food staple, its role in the culture, and includes recipes so you can channel your butter lust when you’re done reading. You’ll never look at pat or stick or curl the same way again.

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50. FOR THE FRIEND WHO LOVES ALL CREATURES, GREAT AND SMALL (AND VERY OLD): HORSESHOE CRABS AND VELVET WORMS: THE STORY OF THE ANIMALS AND PLANTS THAT TIME HAS LEFT BEHIND BY RICHARD FORTEY

Life on earth is fragile, but as Fortey, a British paleontologist, chronicles in Horseshoe Crabs and Velvet Worms, a small group of organisms has stood the test of time. These “living fossils” have stayed pretty much the same for millions of years, surviving countless threats along the way. They’re impressive biological specimens, and a window into the world as it used to be.

Buy at Amazon.

All images: Amazon.com

On an unassuming street in Manhattan’s Kips Bay neighborhood, a man by the name of Dr. Laser toils away. His given name is Jason Sapan, but when you’re at the helm of the oldest (and possibly only) holography gallery-slash-laboratory in the world, a colorful moniker only seems appropriate.

Laser’s Holographic Studios has been in operation since the later 1970s. Before that it was used for making medical instruments, and before that, was the site of a blacksmith’s forge. As the doctor himself says, his business is a logical tenant in that line of succession: he, like those who came before, specializes in taking objects, making them glow red, and giving them shape. Of course his work is a little bit different. He gives shape to things that aren’t really there.

When you ask Dr. Laser to explain the nuts and bolts of holography, his eyes light up (they do that a lot, actually). “Well grasshopper…” he starts, and from there, you just do your best to keep up. In brief, “a hologram is a recording in light waves of the surface of an object,” but the process of capturing that impression is, of course, a bit more complicated. Luckily, he’s up to the task: “I wanna trip people out,” he says.

The studio itself is pretty much exactly what you’d hope for when seeking out a holographic hotspot—it feels a bit like a real-life wonder emporium, and Laser’s larger-than-life persona only adds to the effect. The walls are lined with various holograms—some from his work with clients like Goodyear, Tag Heuer, and IBM, along with portraits (the one of Andy Warhol, made in 1977, is his favorite) and other holography miscellanea. In the next room, a wall bears the signatures of former visitors like Isaac Asimov and Cher. Downstairs, a cluttered subterranean workspace leads into a dark lab where lasers and light shows abound. If you’re lucky, Dr. Laser might even queue up the Flock of Seagulls music video he was in, which—fun fact—was also the first music video on MTV to use screen credits.

Holographic Studios is open Monday through Friday from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m., and tours are available if you want the full, personal experience. And if a trip to New York isn’t in the cards, fear not: you can secure a hologram of your very own in their online store.

All photos by Tony Wilson.

Oreo cookies are full of mysteries, not the least of which is the design of the wafer itself. But for many of us who’ve sat on either side of a cream-filled Oreo and twisted to see who got more of the delicious insides, another question has prevailed: What strategy, if any, can one apply to the game? We now have an answer, and it only took three Princeton University aerospace engineers to figure it out.

As Gizmodo reports, John Cannarella, Dan Quinn, and Joshua Spechler were graduate students in 2014 when they first started to consider the question surrounding the world’s most famous sandwich cookie. They did a bit of research and, when they found that no one had tackled the question, set to work hunting for an answer.

“It’s interesting from an engineering standpoint since the cookie is similar to many modern composites: a strong brittle layer (the wafer) for strength coupled with a weaker ductile layer (the cream) for toughness,” Cannarella told Quartz. “Shatterproof glass and batteries are other good examples of material systems that are mechanically analogous to Oreos.”

Sure, yeah, OK. But it’s also really important for winning playground face-offs in the ’90s.

To get a better sense of the physics at play, the team analyzed the cookie, putting it through rigorous experiments involving both robotic testers and real-life participants. They went through thousands of Oreos and, in the end, made a discovery that will help you win your cookie war every time: In any given box of Oreos, the cream ends up on the same side for every single cookie.

In other words, if you’re headed into battle, test a cookie from the box ahead of time. If you pull one out, twist it, and the cream is on side closest to the back of the box, that will be true for every cookie, in every row.

While Nabisco isn’t forthcoming about the cookie-making process, Quartz notes that a 2010 episode of How It’s Made has an illuminating look at the process behind Newman-O’s, which in turn helps to shed some light on the manufacturing methodology of Oreos. To assemble the sandwich cookies, a machine applies a dollop of cream onto one cookie and then finishes it with another. The physicists guess that the first wafer probably has a better hold on the cream (though there’s no way to be sure) and that ends up being the victory cookie in the twist game.

And there you have it. Go forth and share a cookie. Oh and we’re not necessarily saying you should employ the test cookie method to win, that would be cheating. We’re just the messengers here.

Know of something you think we should cover? Email us at tips@mentalfloss.com.

When Leonora Evelina Piper (née Symonds) was 8 years old, she was out playing in the garden when she was overcome by a sudden and mysterious blow to the side of her head, accompanied by a hiss, which eventually became words and a message. In utter hysterics, the girl bolted for the house, where she told her mother: “Something hit me on the ear and Aunt Sara said she wasn’t dead but with you still.” A few days later a letter arrived. Sara had indeed died—on the same day, and around the same time the little girl had gone into a fit.

According to her parents, it wasn’t the only time in her childhood that Piper would show possible psychic predilections. But for the most part, the family set that aside. A daughter who might have the ability to commune with the afterlife isn’t necessarily something you want to advertise to the neighbors.

Leonora eventually grew up, married a shopkeeper named William Piper, and moved from New Hampshire to Boston. The pair had a daughter named Alta in 1884, who, despite bringing much joy to the couple, also aggravated a longtime injury in Piper. As a child, Piper had been involved in an ice-sledding accident that led to internal abdominal bleeding. Following Alta’s birth the pain was so bad Piper sought the help of a clairvoyant—an elderly blind man who purported to have the ability to contact healing spirits. When they touched, it ended up being Piper who experienced something otherworldly.

The young woman reportedly entered a trance-like state. She became dizzy and said she heard a myriad of voices, one of which came through clearly enough that she was able to write down a message. As soon as she was finished, Piper handed the dispatch to a man who was also at the parlor that day, a local judge, who said it was a message from his deceased son. As Deborah Blum writes in Ghost Hunters: William James and the Search for Scientific Proof of Life After Death, Piper returned to the blind clairvoyant a few more times, but retreated after she found herself becoming the focus of attention. She was pregnant with her second daughter, and said she didn’t want to practice as a medium.

Despite that resistance, the budding mystic relented in 1885, agreeing to meet with a widow named Eliza Gibbens. According to Gibbens, Piper was able to relay personal details “the knowledge of which on her part was incomprehensible without supernormal powers.” Gibbens then sent her daughter, Margaret, to further test Piper. Margaret brought a sealed envelope with a letter penned in Italian, and the reluctant clairvoyant had no trouble reciting details about the person who had written it. Margaret and Eliza then decided to take the news to their sister and daughter, Alice, who had recently been quarantined with scarlet fever, and whose illness led to the death of her 1-year-old son, Herman. (After her quarantine, the child had been returned to Alice although she hadn’t fully regained her strength; she developed whooping cough, and the infection soon spread to the child, where it turned into fatal pneumonia.)

Alice, and her husband William James—a Harvard professor, founder of the Society for Psychical Research, and skeptic who helped discredit several popular mediums in Boston—went to see Piper. With little knowledge about the couple or their recent circumstances, she successfully conjured the name of their deceased little boy (or at least James felt she did; the name Piper spoke was Herrin, not Herman).

“If you wish to upset the law that all crows are black … it is enough if you prove one single crow to be white. My white crow is Mrs. Piper,” James would later say in his 1896 presidential address to the Society for Psychical Research. Not everyone was so convinced, however, and James himself would later express skepticism of his own.

For years Piper held private readings at her home and allowed members from the British and American Societies for Psychical Research (SPR) to attend. She was reportedly completely cooperative when it came to inquiring minds, permitting researchers to frequently sit in on her séances. She was likely the most thoroughly scrutinized medium of her day: SPR members also sent test subjects and even hired private detectives to follow Piper and her husband around to see if they exhibited any behavior that might indicate information-gathering regarding potential clients. Their quests proved fruitless—no sign of fraud was ever found. According to Amy Tanner’s 1910 book Studies in Spiritism, Piper charged $20 per séance (about $580 today), enough to help support her family.

While in her trances, Piper used so-called “controls”—spirits that spoke through her. “Dr. Phinuit”—a Frenchman—served as the primary control in Piper’s early mediumship, but she went on to become a supposed vessel for a number of spirits who would then communicate through voice or automatic writing. She also employed psychometry, a method in which the medium uses material objects to do readings, and was taken on several trips to Britain to demonstrate her supposed abilities there.

Despite her many believers—she was among the most famous of mediums in the age of Spiritualism—many others called Piper’s supposed abilities a hoax, and not even a good one at that. She often failed to provide accurate details about her clients or their dearly departed, and persistent inaccuracies regarding her controls befuddled those who were studying her. (Dr. Phinuit for example, didn’t seem to know much about the French language or medicine, his two defining characteristics.) Another investigator tested Piper by concocting a story of a dead relative named Bessie Beale, and the medium went on to relay messages from the nonexistent spirit.

Some said Piper had multiple personalities, others believed her to be savvy mentalist with a knack for cold reading and “fishing,” and others still said she had a talent for surreptitiously learning details about guests before they sat down for a session. Even William James didn’t believe Piper was communicating with ghosts, but rather using telepathy, and drawing on memories and other information from her clients as well as others, perhaps even subliminally. The scholar could find no “independent evidence” to back the possibility of of spirit control.

Oddly enough, Piper herself would prove to be conflicted about the nature of her abilities. In a 1901 “confession” in the New York Herald [PDF], Piper announced her separation from the Society for Psychical Research and was quoted as saying, “I have always maintained that these phenomena could be explained in other ways than by the intervention of disembodied spirit forces … I am inclined to accept the telepathic explanation of all the so-called psychic phenomena, but beyond this I remain a student with the rest of the world.” She also described the spirit controls as “an unconscious expression of my subliminal self,” and if all that wasn’t definitive enough: “I must truthfully say that I do not believe that spirits of the dead have spoken through me when I have been in the trance state …”

Needless to say the piece caused an uproar, and even caused SPR member Richard Hodgson, an avid believer, to write an open letter claiming she had been misunderstood. He also released a statement to the Boston Advertiser from Piper, which read: “I did not make any such statement as that published in the New York Herald to the effect that spirits of the departed do not control me. … My opinion is to-day as it was 18 years ago. Spirits of the departed may have controlled me and they may not. I confess that I do not know. I have not changed.”

Ultimately, all the press likely only served to fuel the interest in Piper and her clairvoyant services. And while we may never know what she truly believed, it didn’t matter when it came to the business of mediumship: She found fame and fortune in her séances, though she reportedly never sought much attention beyond continuing to meet with sitters and allowing herself to be repeatedly, almost obsessively observed for science.

In the early 1900s, Piper’s trance abilities reportedly began to fade. She gave her last séance in 1911, and officially retired some years later. She lived to be 93 years old, dying on July 3, 1950 from bronchopneumonia at her home in Brookline, Massachusetts. She is buried at Mount Pleasant Cemetery in Arlington, Massachusetts. History remembers her as a conflicted character—and as William James’s one “white crow.”

If you’re someone who loves ghouls and goblins, but prefer to keep the fun a little more Hocus Pocus (1993) and a little less Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), we’ve got just the thing: The Scholastic FunFact Book of Ghosts: Demons and spirits from the world beyond.  

The 1977 book, which you can see in all its glory on the blog Euclid Boo, is a 32-page manual on all things phantom. It covers everything from “What is a ghost?” to types of ghosts, ghost duties, how to spot one, historical ghosts, “Unlikely ghosts,” “Ghosts around the world,” and of course, haunted houses. Perhaps most useful for the amateur paranormal enthusiast is a spread on ghost hunting, which includes a rundown of necessary equipment (a camera, graph paper, and thermometer to detect a ghost-revealing temperature drop) and info on how animals can help sniff out a spectre. There’s also a section on famous ghost faking techniques employed by mortals, and a “dictionary of ghostlore” to ensure that young readers are well-versed in the language of the supernatural. (There’s even a definition for soul if you want to get really deep.)

Head on over to Euclid Boo to see the amazing illustrations that accompany the guide, and if you’re interested in procuring the book for your own personal collection, copies of the throwback are available on Amazon starting at $60.

Know of something you think we should cover? Email us at tips@mentalfloss.com.

Most experiments are designed to be done quickly. Get data, analyze data, publish data, move on. But the universe doesn’t work on nice brief timescales. For some things you need time. Lots of time.

1. THE BROADBALK EXPERIMENT // 173 YEARS

In 1842, John Bennet Lawes patented his method for making superphosphate (a common, synthetic plant nutrient) and opened up what is believed to be the first artificial fertilizer factory in the world. The following year, Lawes and chemist Joseph Henry Gilbert began a series of experiments comparing the effects of organic and inorganic fertilizers, which are now the oldest agricultural studies on Earth. For over 150 years parts of a field of winter wheat have received either manure, artificial fertilizer, or no fertilizer. The results are about what you’d expect: artificial and natural fertilized plots produce around six to seven tons of grain per hectare, while the unfertilized plot produces around one ton of grain per hectare. But there’s more. They can use these studies to test everything from herbicides to soil microbes and even figure out oxygen ratios for better reconstruction of paleoclimates.

2. THE PARK GRASS EXPERIMENT // 160 YEARS

Lawes and Gilbert started several more experiments at around the same time. In one of these experiments with hay, Lawes observed that each plot was so distinct that it looked like he was experimenting with different seed mixes as opposed to different fertilizers. The nitrogen fertilizers being applied benefited the grasses over any other plant species, but if phosphorus and potassium were the main components of the fertilizer, the peas took over the plot. Since then, this field has been one of the most important biodiversity experiments on Earth.

3. THE BROADBALK AND GEESCROFT WILDERNESSES // 134 YEARS

Yet another one of Lawes’ experiments: In 1882 he abandoned part of the Broadbalk experiment to see what would happen. What happened was that within a few years, the wheat plants were completely outcompeted by weeds—and then trees moved in [PDF]. In 1900, half of the area was allowed to continue as normal and the other half has had the trees removed every year in one of the longest studies of how plants recolonize farmland.

4. DR. BEAL’S SEED VIABILITY EXPERIMENT // 137 YEARS

In 1879, William Beal of Michigan State University buried 20 bottles of seeds on campus. The purpose of this experiment was to see how long the seeds would remain viable buried underground. Originally, one bottle was dug up every five years, but that soon changed to once every 10 years, and is now once every 20 years. In the last recovery in 2000, 26 plants were germinated, meaning slightly more than half survived over 100 years in the ground. The next will be dug up in 2020, and (assuming no more extensions) the experiment will end in 2100.

Even if it is extended for a while, there will probably still be viable seeds. In 2008, scientists were able to successfully germinate a circa-2000 year old date palm seed, and four years later, Russian scientists were able grow a plant from a 32,000 year old seed that had been buried by an ancient squirrel.

5. THE PITCH DROP EXPERIMENT // 86 YEARS

If you hit a mass of pitch (the leftovers from distilling crude oil) with a hammer, it shatters like a solid. In 1927, Thomas Parnell of the University of Queensland in Australia decided to demonstrate to his students that it was actually liquid. They just needed to watch it for a while. Some pitch was heated up and poured into a sealed stem glass funnel. Three years later, the stem of the funnel was cut and the pitch began to flow. Very slowly. Eight years later, the first drop fell. Soon the experiment was relegated to a cupboard to collect dust, until 1961 when John Mainstone learned of its existence and restored the test to its rightful glory. Sadly, he never saw a pitch drop. In 1979 it dropped on a weekend, in 1988 he was away getting a drink, in 2000 the webcam failed, and he died before the most recent drop in April 2014.

As it turns out, the Parnell-initiated pitch drop experiment isn’t even the oldest. After it gathered international headlines, reports of other pitch drop experiments became news. Aberystwyth University in Wales found a pitch drop experiment that was started 13 years before the Australian one, and has yet to produce a single drop (and indeed is not expected to for another 1300 years), while the Royal Scottish Museum in Edinburgh found a pitch drop experiment from 1902. All of them prove one thing though: With enough time, a substance that can be shattered with a hammer still might be a liquid.

6. THE CLARENDON DRY PILE // 176-191 YEARS

Around 1840, Oxford physics professor Robert Walker bought a curious little contraption from a pair of London instrument makers that was made up of two dry piles (a type of battery) connected to bells with a metal sphere hanging in between them. When the ball hit one of the bells, it became negatively charged and shot towards the other positively charged bell where the process repeats itself. Because it uses only a minuscule amount of energy, the operation has occurred ten billion times and counting. It’s entirely possible that the ball or bells will wear out before the batteries fully discharge.

Although we don’t know the composition of the battery itself (and likely won’t until it winds down in a few hundred years), it has led to scientific advancements. During WWII, the British Admiralty developed an infrared telescope that needed a battery capable of producing high voltage, low current, and that could last forever. One of the scientists remembered seeing the Clarendon Dry Pile—also referred to as the Oxford Electric Bell—and was able to find out how to make his own dry pile for the telescope.

7. THE BEVERLY (ATMOSPHERIC) CLOCK // 152 YEARS

Sitting in the foyer of the University of Otago in New Zealand is the Beverly Clock. Developed in 1864 by Arthur Beverly, it is a phenomenal example of a self-winding clock. Beverly realized that, while most clocks used a weight falling to get the energy to run the clock mechanism, he could get the same energy with one cubic foot of air expanding and contracting over a six-degree Celsius temperature range. It hasn’t always worked; there have been times it needed cleanings, it stopped when the Physics department moved, and if the temperature is too stable it can stop. But it’s still going over 150 years later.

8. THE AUDUBON CHRISTMAS BIRD COUNT // 116 YEARS

Since 1900, folks from across the continent have spent time counting birds. What began as an activity to keep people from hunting our feathered friends on Christmas Day, has turned into one of the world’s most massive and long-lasting citizen science projects. Although the 2015 results aren’t ready yet, we know that in 2014, 72,653 observers counted 68,753,007 birds of 2106 species.

9. THE HARVARD STUDY OF ADULT DEVELOPMENT // 78 YEARS

One of the longest running development studies, in 1938 Harvard began studying a group of 268 sophomores (including one John F. Kennedy), and soon an additional study added 456 inner-city Bostonians. They’ve been followed ever since, from World War II through the Cold War and into the present day, with surveys every two years and physical examinations every five. Because of the sheer wealth of data, they’ve been able to learn all kinds of interesting and unexpected things. One such example: The quality of vacations one has in their youth often indicates increased happiness later in life.

10. THE TERMAN LIFE CYCLE STUDY // 95 YEARS

In 1921, 1470 California children who scored over 135 on an IQ test began a relationship that would turn into one of the world’s most famous longitudinal studies—the Terman Life Cycle Study of Children with High Ability.  Over the years, in order to show that early promise didn’t lead to later disappointment, participants filled out questionnaires about everything from early development, interests, and health to relationships and personality.  One of the most interesting findings is that, even among these smart folk, character traits like perseverance made the most difference in career success.

11. THE NATIONAL FOOD SURVEY // 76 YEARS

Starting in 1940, the UK’s National Food Survey tracked household food consumption and expenditure, and was the longest lasting program of its kind in the world. In 2000 it was replaced with the Expenditure and Food Survey, and in 2008 the Living Costs and Food Survey. And it’s provided interesting results. For instance, earlier this year it was revealed that tea consumption has fallen from around 23 cups per person per week to only eight cups, and no one in the UK ate pizza in 1974, but now the average Brit eats 75 grams (2.5 ounces) a week.

12. THE FRAMINGHAM HEART STUDY // 68 YEARS

In 1948, the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute teamed up with Boston University to get 5209 people from the town of Framingham to do a long-term study of how cardiovascular disease developed. Twenty-three years later they also recruited the adult children of the original experiment and in 2002 a third generation. Over the decades, the Framingham Heart Study researchers claim to have discovered that cigarette smoking increased risk, in addition to identifying potential risk factors for Alzheimer’s, and the dangers of high blood pressure.

13. THE E. COLI LONG TERM EVOLUTION EXPERIMENT // 26 YEARS

While this one might not seem that impressive in terms of length, it has to be the record for number of generations that have come and gone over the course of the study: well over 50,000. Richard Lenski was curious whether flasks of identical bacteria would change in the same way over time, or if the groups would diverge from each other. Eventually, he got bored with the experiment, but his colleagues convinced him to keep going, and it’s a good thing they did. In 2003, Lenski noticed that one of flasks had gone cloudy, and some research led him to discover that the E. coli in one of the flasks had gained the ability to metabolize citrate. Because he had been freezing previous generations of his experiment, he was able to precisely track how this evolution occurred.

14. THE BSE EXPERIMENT // 11 YEARS

Sadly, sometimes things can go terribly wrong during long-term experiments. Between 1990 and 1992, British scientists collected thousands of sheep brains. Then, for over four years, those prepared sheep brains were injected into hundreds of mice to learn if the sheep brains were infected with BSE (mad-cow disease). Preliminary findings suggested that they were, and plans were drawn up to slaughter every sheep in England. Except those sheep brains? They were actually cow brains that had been mislabeled. And thus ended the longest running experiment on sheep and BSE.

15. THE JUNEAU ICEFIELD RESEARCH PROGRAM // 68 YEARS

Attention to glacier retreat and the effects of global warming on the world’s ice fields has rapidly increased over the course of the last few decades, but the Juneau Icefield Research Program has been monitoring the situation up north since 1948. In its nearly 70 years of existence, the project become the longest-running study of its kind, as well as an educational and exploratory experience. The monitoring of the many glaciers of the Juneau Icefield in Alaska and British Columbia has a rapidly approaching end date though—at least in geological terms. A recent study published in the Journal of Glaciology predicts that the field will be gone by 2200.