People Share NSFW History Facts That You Might Not Be Familiar With

I consider myself a history lover, but even I was pretty blown away by the facts that people threw out here in the article you’re about to read.

Are you ready to see a side of the past that you don’t usually get to check out?

It’s time to get some naughty history lessons from folks on AskReddit.

1. Iceland.

“There is a legal p*nis size in Iceland.

It’s an old law from the Middle Ages after a woman was married off to a man and on her wedding night was so disappointed with how small his p*nis was that she took him back to the church to have an annulment.

Because of her a law was made that a man must be at least three inches while hard to marry.

There is a wonderful documentary called “The Final Member” in which this is an actual problem.”

2. A carving.

“There is a carving on the side of the belfry in Ghent that depicts a man suckling the breast of a woman.

The story is that the man was condemned to die unless he could prove his innocence by surviving imprisonment without food for 40 days. He could have visitors during his imprisonment but they of course were checked for food.

His daughter visited him everyday. She was a wet nurse ….

He was let go after 40 days having survived.”

3. Yikes.

“In ancient Egypt, soldiers proved their battle prowess by presenting the severed p*nises of their slaughtered enemies.

Traditionally, severed hands were presented, but in 1182 B.C. Libyans, and other allies invaded Egypt and were defeated by the army of Ramesses III, and Ramesses suspected that some soldiers were claiming extra credit by presenting the hands of women as well as the male soldiers.

So he demanded p*nises instead. His victory inscriptions mention 12,535 foreskins and hands, and has images of the piles of the body parts at the Medinet Habu mortuary temple.”

4. Whoa.

“Shi Pei Pu was a Chinese opera singer turned spy active during the 1960s. He pretended to be a woman for 20 years to seduce a French embassy employee and obtain classified documents.

His charade went so far as to fake a pregnancy and purchase a child and pretend it was theirs. He managed to fool everyone, including his lover, for over two decades before finally being exposed to the world.”

5. The high seas.

“Back during the age of sail, sailors would go months and months without any women or any privacy. When they’d get to port, hundreds of prostitutes would take boats out to the ships to greet the sailors, who would almost all have s*x with at least one.

This included the ship’s boys. Like I said, there was no privacy at all – the crew would share one huge room, dozens or hundreds of men sleeping in hammocks slung 28” apart. So the ensuing copulation took place in the wide open, hundreds of people having s*x all over the ship in plain sight.

This wasn’t a rare thing. It was almost universal, though some more religious captains wouldn’t let the prostitutes on board. STDs were therefore incredibly common.”

6. The Bad Pope.

“Pope John XII was interesting. He became Pope in 955. His high points are.:

Turned the sacred palace into a whorehouse

Fornicated with, among others, his father’s concubine, various widows and even his own niece

Castrated and then murdered a cardinal

Blinded and then murdered his confessor

Took payment for ordaining bishops and even ordained a 10-year-old boy as a bishop

Ordained a deacon in a stable

Refused to make the sign of the cross

Toasted the Devil

Invoked the names of pagan gods while playing dice and when he lost, used money from the papal treasury to pay off his debts

Granted, he was a teenager when he became Pope, thanks to his dad buying the office, but still…”

7. Harsh times.

“When the Roman statesman Sejanus, the Emperor Tiberius’ right-hand man, fell from grace and was executed, The Roman people were eager to take their revenge on his family as well for all the tyranny he had put them through.

So they decided to kill his young son and daughter as well. There was no real issue about killing the boy, but when it came to the young girl there was a sudden outcry.

It was against all precedent to execute an innocent young girl, and above that, deeply impious to put to death a virgin maid.

So they had the executioner r*pe her first.”

8. Well, that’s different.

“Mary Toft put baby rabbits in her v*gina and then pretended to give birth to them to confuse doctors.”

9. What a way to go.

“The actual death of Ratcliffe (you know, the oddly proportioned villain from Pocahontas?).

From the Encyclopedia Virginia:

The colonists, led by Captain John Ratcliffe, walked into an ambush; about thirty-three men, or two-thirds of their number, were killed.

The Indians captured Ratcliffe, and their women skinned him alive using mussel shells.”

10. Big boy.

“Ferdinand VII of Spain had a huge d*ck, so much in fact that its rumored that one of his wives died of a hemorrhage derived from having s*x with the monarch.

He almost died without a heir bc he couldn’t have s*x with the queen consorts without any damage (he only had a daughter, and he had to go through hell to change some old laws that prevented his daughter from reigning).”

11. Wrap it up.

“Roman troops were provided cow intestine condoms, as STD epidemics could decide the fate of entire wars.”

12. Messed up.

“At the temple of Aphrodite in Cyprus, overlooking the legendary birthplace of Aphrodite, young virgin girls would tie a bow string around their head and await a man to come along and throw a silver coin of any value into their lap.

The man would say ” I demand thee in the name of the goddess”. The girl then had to have s*x with the man. In this way the girl would make her “first fruit” offering to Aphrodite.

It is said that some girls had to come back for many days before they were chosen.”

Okay, history buffs, now it’s your turn.

In the comments, tell us some more crazy history facts that most people don’t know.

Thanks a lot!

The post People Share NSFW History Facts That You Might Not Be Familiar With appeared first on UberFacts.

What Are Some NSFW Facts About History That We Don’t Hear Very Often?

Calling all history fanatics!

Here’s an article that we know you’re gonna love!

Yes, we’ve all learned most of the basics, but what about the dark underbelly of the past that we don’t usually see?

What are some NSFW history facts that a lot of folks don’t know about?

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

1. You fools!

“In 1488 an Italian noblewoman Catarina Sforza-Riario locked herself in a castle to save herself from her enemies.

Her enemies managed to capture her children and threatened to kill them if she wouldn’t surrender.

She climbed on ramparts, lifted her skirt to expose her female parts and shouted “Fools! Don’t you see that I can make myself more children?””

2. A little uptight.

“In colonial America a guy was arrested and charged because he drew a lewd image of his wife in the snow.

Puritans didn’t appreciate the art.”

3. Getting it on.

“In 1992, two astronauts did not disclose they were married to NASA until it was too late to replace one of them and thus became the first married couple in space.

While the two astronauts in question are not the kiss and tell types, most people assume this means space s*x has happened (obviously you don’t have to be married to try it, but it does make it harder to figure out the couples).

NASA’s official stance is that it hasn’t, but I’m not sure people really believe them.”

4. Sounds like a party.

“From the 13th to the 15th of February the Romans celebrated Lupercalia (Roman precursor of Valentine’s day), which was a festival of love and fertility.

Priests would sacrifice a goat and then cut the goat skin into pieces. Part of this they would wear on their heads, and other parts were cut into thongs. The men would then run around the city of Rome naked, hitting as many women with these thongs as they possibly could (being hit would help with pregnancy or becoming pregnant).

So depending on what they wanted, the women would either deliberately stand in the way of the men, or try to run away while pretty much everyone was naked.

In another part of the festivities men would draw names of women from a jar and the goal was that they’d stay together for the duration of the festival. This would often result in a lot of… you know… intercourse, and sometimes people actually fell in love and got married after they met during Lupercalia.”

5. Uh oh.

“The CIA once considered sending the Soviets condoms that were large labeled “small” to convince them that the US was well endowed.”

6. Hmmmm…

“In Pisa on St Catherine’s day, students would search for and capture the fattest Jew they could find and demand a ransom of his weight in sweets.

Source: The Great Mortality, John Kelly.”

7. Come on in!

“A lot of people banged in the White House on the day of Andrew Jackson’s inauguration.”

8. Really getting into it.

“French modern philosopher Michel Foucault, in addition to studying crime and deviance in a Criminology sense, also applied his theories on punishment to his fascination with BDSM, having also written a number of kink-based works.

He eventually moved to San Francisco and partook in gay bathhouses (notorious for casual s*x).

He eventually caught HIV and some have speculated (it may be written somewhere?) that he purposely contracted it as some sort of poetic social commentary.”

9. Go for it!

“In Ancient Egypt they held a fertility festival each year and at this festival it was the Pharaohs responsibility to strip down and jerk off into the Nile.”

10. Ugh!

“There was a guy that tried to prove that yellow fever wasn’t contagious and so he would pour the infected vomit into his freshly cut opened would, pouring it into his eyes, and drinking it.

And soaking into a bath of it. And smearing his body with blood, piss, and spit. He was fine because yellow fever isn’t spread through direct contact, it’s spread through mosquitoes.

So he did all that for nothing. His name was Stubbins Ffirth, look it up.”

11. I’d like to see that!

“In 1511 a bunch of people in Brussels took part in the building of 110 vulgar snowmen as an act of protest.”

12. One-track mind.

“Romans loved depicting s*xual acts.

On many everyday items, like oil lamps, combs, bowls, etc. you often see images of people f*cking.

Like p*rn, but in daily life.”

13. Brutal.

“During war time some armies would wipe sh*t on their spears so that when they stabbed/slashed enemies they’d get that extra poison damage.”

14. Sick.

“Slave owners in the US had a “health official” who would lick slaves to see if their health was of good standing.”

How about you?

Do you know some NSFW history facts?

If so, please share them with us in the comments. Thanks a lot!

The post What Are Some NSFW Facts About History That We Don’t Hear Very Often? appeared first on UberFacts.

Men Who Don’t Share Their Emotions Opened up and Talked About What’s on Their Minds

If there’s one stereotype in this world that is based in reality, it’s that men are not great at expressing their emotions

Heck, some of us don’t even open up at all. EVER.

But today, we’re gonna get real with some fellas who want to let the emotions flow. And that’s a good thing.

Guys on AskReddit opened up and spilled their guts.

1. We all need this.

“I really want a hug.

I haven’t been hugged in so long.

It would be nice, I think.”

2. It’s difficult.

“I don’t know how I feel half the time. I find other people’s emotions relatable and I feel like I can empathize with them, but when it comes to mine it seems difficult to define.

I hate that I lie about myself to make myself seem more interesting. It’s so hindering; I feel so f*cking stupid after it and just start cringing.

I don’t know if I’m stupid or intelligent – I’m definitely lazy, I know that much.

I don’t feel wanted or needed in my life but I know that logically it’s not true, I just associate being wanted or loved with physical affection (not s*x) and those interactions are few and far between.

I’m not scared of dying, but I’m scared of risking things. Sometimes I even think that death would be a good option, because I feel there is no pre designated point to living. We have to create a point, and I don’t know what I want my point to be.”

3. Emotional affair.

“My wife is currently having an emotional affair with a coworker, and shows no remorse. Her family and friends seem to support her.

I had some serious anxiety about a year ago for a handful of months, and my wife found someone else during that time.

My whole world is destroyed. I feel like a loser, I’m too embarrassed to admit it to my friends, and I don’t know how I can continue on.

She starts individual counseling tomorrow, and all I can hope is that she at least realizes how hurtful she has been.

I can’t imagine being with anyone else, but having your wife tell you that she thinks she may be happier with another man just sucks all of your self worth out of you.”

4. Keep your distance.

“I distance myself from everyone in my life emotionally because the feeling of being vulnerable and truly opening up to people scares the sh*t out of me.

It always seems to come back to bite me in the *ss when I leak a little bit too much information because I just want to be alone and forget about everything.

I wish I could live alone and have very little interactions with everyone, it’s always so draining to be around people day in day out with little alone time.”

5. Lonely.

“Only one of my friends ever contacts me unprompted, wether it is via text or a quick drop by.

I would never hear from the others again if I didn’t message or call them first.

This isn’t as bad as some of the others here but it has been bothering me for a long while.”

6. Don’t care.

“I honestly can’t. That’s basically the problem.

I just don’t care.

At all.

And it’s really hard to express that.”

7. In a tough spot.

“I’m tired of pretending everything is going well.

I lost all motivation and drive to do well in life. I keep telling myself it will get better, but nothing is going right.

I just want a hug from someone who really cares about me and tell me everything will be okay.

I want to drop out of school so badly to recover but that’s not possible.”

8. Need some contact.

“I actually sat and thought about it yesterday and I haven’t had physical contact with another human (other than perhaps brushing a hand from someone handing me change or rubbing shoulders in the street) for around 3 years.”

9. Good luck to you.

“I’ll probably be moving across country, by myself, for a job with subpar pay, during a global pandemic.

Wish me luck!”

10. You have to face it.

“I don’t want to accept the fact that I’m depressed because if I do then it’ll be harder for me to overcome it.”

11. Shut down.

“Every time I trust someone with all my heart and soul, they break my trust.

So I’ve started to keep things to myself, I’m done with trusting and opening up to people.”

12. Family problems.

“I’m the oldest of 4 brothers. My younger brothers are far more successful than me.

When we were growing up, I always felt like my parents never gave a sh*t about me as soon as my brothers showed up. All through life, I had to listen to my parents comparing me, the oldest, to my younger brothers. It was always humiliating. I struggled with learning in school and my parents jus thought I was stupid or lazy.

They never really put in the time or effort to work with me or to understand my struggles, and I was just a kid so I didn’t know how to express myself. They didn’t understand that I was bullied throughout most of my academic life and that it caused me to suffer from social anxiety disorder.

As a kid, I always saw my parents providing opportunities for my brothers that they never did for me. Even things like taking my brothers to the dentist to get braces so their teeth are nice, or helping them get into good universities, or allowing them to gain some work experience in the family business. My one brother, the youngest, is now the owner of the successful family business, but I wasn’t even invited to work there to help out the family keep it running.

Instead, I aimlessly drifted from one crappy retail job to another for many years, never really earning anything, always living in debt, and barely making ends meet. I never could afford nice cars or clothes or vacations that may parents and my siblings could, because I had to work hard to survive, because no one gave me any kind of support. Now that I’m an adult, I’m married, and have kids of my own.

I live far away from my family, but I’m still jealous of people who have family members that they can get advice from, or who they can talk to about their problems. I don’t have anyone on my side of the family for any of that. My parents basically don’t give a crap about me. They send me some facebook messages from time to time or make a like or a comment on one of my posts, but it’s always surface level small talk.

This is something that my wife and I discuss quite often because she’s noticed too that my family are very distant from me. She doesn’t understand why I don’t have a family that supports me, and I’m not even talking about financially supporting me. I don’t want or need that, but it’d be nice to be able to talk to mom and just get advice about something, instead of feeling like I’m the only one in the world.

It’s pretty bad because where I live, I have ZERO family members around me. The only family I do have are my wife’s family who have been very supportive. Her brothers are like my best friends, and I see and talk to her parents all the time but sometimes I feel like they only keep me around because of her. At the end of the day, I’m not one of them, you know?

Anyway, I just kind of wish I had one of those tv-family relationships with my parents. Where dad will show up and be like, “Hey son, what say we go out back and play catch and have a talk?” but I’ve accepted that that’s not me and never will be. I’ve managed to keep myself in check by writing in a journal for many years.

All things considered, I’m doing OK but just know that alot of guys do have their problems even if they don’t talk about them. We bleed and show pain just like everyone else does.”

We want more of that!

In the comments, tell us what’s on your mind.

Please and thank you.

The post Men Who Don’t Share Their Emotions Opened up and Talked About What’s on Their Minds appeared first on UberFacts.

Men Who Don’t Usually Open Up Share What’s on Their Minds

I’m probably not telling you something you don’t already know, but a lot of men out there aren’t exactly good at letting their emotions out.

Well, we’re about to change that right now, even if it is anonymously.

Men on AskReddit were nice enough to open up about their emotions. Let’s take a look.

1. Terrified.

“I act indifferent and have things under control but in reality I’m terrified of the future. I think about 100 what-if scenario a day.

I don’t like to talk about myself because I feel like I’m not interesting or people don’t care about what I have to say about my life.

Thank God I have good friends but those things not even them I can share with.”

2. Tough times.

“I don’t want to exist anymore, honestly.

I dont want to die, I just want the memory of me and who I am to be wiped away from EVERYONE so I don’t disappoint anyone anymore.

I just want to be a ghost and not exist anymore.

Sorry just going through some sh*t right now with depression, heartbreak, insomnia, and a slew of other things that I have to hide so to not hurt or disappoint anyone.”

3. We all need that sometimes.

“Give us a pat on the back and ask us how we’re doing every now and then, as small as it may seem it can mean the world to some.”

4. That’s sad.

“I kinda wish my close friends remembered my birthday today.

They usually remember down to the exact minute, but this year, none of them did (at least so far).

I know they’re all busy and have bigger things to be worrying about, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a bit lonely.”

5. Bottled up.

“I’m afraid that I have bottled up my feelings for so long that if I’m ever lucky enough to find a person I want to open up to, it will either be impossible or everything will come out at once and scare them off.”

6. Scary.

“My ex wife, who mentally abused me for years and physically abused me on separate occasions, who I’ve been separated with for 2.5 years and in the process of getting a divorce from, still harasses to this day, as well as the woman I’ve been dating.

I’ve asked for help on several occasions from the police and the court system. I basically get mocked and laughed at by our judicial system because, “what, is this woman going to beat you up?”

I’m going to end up with a knife in my chest before anyone listens or takes a step in ending her terror.”

7. Eating disorder.

“My eating disorder has gotten bad again. I’m extremely lonely and isolated. I’ve lost friends just by being “independent and confident” and not texting and call first so now I’m nearly alone.

I’m petrified about the future with a million paths and no direction, and I’m so stressed that I can’t get a good pathway started. I’m terrified of dating because I still feel extremely insecure about my body.

Tonight my first day off in while I woke up jerked off, binge ate junk food threw it up and started drinking and now I’m on reddit so yeah. I’m so depressed and anxious I don’t know why.”

8. Broken.

“I am still broken on the inside. That my “soul” is like f*cking coventry after the Germans raided it during the second world war.

That I am afraid to sink into depression for the sixth time in my life because it got worse and longer with every single time. Because the only thing that kept me alive was my back then gf who left me.

That I consider myself a massive disappointment, the failure of my family and that my family would be better off without me. That my family, especially my parents were a major reason for these five depressions. That all it will take to push me over the edge and into suicide is just a little push because I do not want to struggle for the sixth time.

That I am still not over my break up, despite it being something that happened over 2 years ago. That I still cry from time to time whenever I think about the past.”

9. A hard situation.

“So my mom is chronically ill, her brain is deteriorating fast.

My dad is understandably very stressed due to all of this and how many years it has lasted, he’s the only other person in this household I really can talk to (a conversation with my mom isn’t really a real conversation) and he’s too stressed to have the energy or time to do so meaning I’m really isolated.

I just finished high school in spring and moved back home after living with my best friend for 9 months, before living there I was doing the same thing as now with taking care of my mom to help with my dad’s stress all while doing IB with 5 higher levels.

I’m currently spending my sabbatical taking care of my sick vegetative mom instead of getting a job and saving up and getting some good experiences, I’m 20 years old and I am in no way living life for myself in any way.

My only real escape is going to the gym to work out, the sweet release of dopamine is probably the only thing keeping me from falling down into the deep dark hole of despair and depression; well that and being a nerd in the kitchen which has gone from a hobby to a daily chore.

I imagined my sabbatical would involve saving up, maybe getting a girlfriend, traveling with my best friend and not just living for the sake of taking care of my parents. Honestly it sometimes takes weeks to have a real conversation with people, I feel so alone and granted it’s necessary the quarantine isn’t doing anything to help my situation.”

10. Into the void.

“I want to be free. I want to be free from nations, systems, norms, and ages.

I hate feeling and thinking.

This is a really beautiful planet but a really sad world.

I really wish i can go back to the void and nonexistence.”

11. Expectations.

“I hate it when expectations are placed on me, next year I am going to college. My parents have expectations of me passing and successfully getting in.

So as of now, she wants me to retain or get higher grades than usual, and the thing is I don’t want stress, I wanna live my life peacefully and stress-free as much as possible. My parents aren’t bad, I know they just want the best for me, it’s just that I am afraid that I cannot meet their expectations and disappoint them.

To try and get rid of the stress and pressure temporarily I usually play games, watch shows, or read books. I will admit that I do put a lot of my time into those things, but the reason why is because it helps me temporarily forget about my problems in the world, while doing those things I can feel at ease, but sometimes my parents condemn me a bit for spending too much time on those things.

Sometimes I just wanna say that I do these things to help me calm down about life, but I don’t know how to say it or even if they would understand it.

Lastly, I feel like there’s no purpose in my life, I just wake up every day, go to online classes, listen to the teachers, do my requirements, sleep, rinse and repeat. I just don’t know what to do in life, I feel like an empty husk that has no purpose.

I’m not suicidal at all or anything but sometimes I just wonder what would it be like if I just never existed at all. I just don’t know what to do with life, I have no goals, no dreams, I barely feel happiness left, I don’t know what to make me happy. I just feel completely lost, I don’t know what to do.”

12. Lovelorn.

“I met an incredibly beautiful, smart, loving girl but I work abroad and I have to go away after Christmas.

After 3 failed relationships which only lasted months, this is the first person I can see myself having a stable and happy relationship with.

The thought of having a long distance relationship breaks me, because I know I can’t do it, I don’t like texting or video calling, and they rarely work.

She also gets a lot of attention from other men and I feel like I would lose her quickly.

I’m sad, trying not to fall in love. I’ve always felt that I wouldn’t find anyone for me, and now that I have I can’t be with her.”

13. About to crack.

“My wife needs me to be mentally and emotionally strong, capable, confident, able to make decisions, able to lead and manage. I cannot show weakness, anxiety, indecision or exhaustion in front of her. I cannot make mistakes.

But I am weak, anxious, indecisive and exhausted – because I am only human. 2020 has been a tough year for everyone, but in addition to Covid I have started a new job, in a new country, and borne the brunt of all the administrative, logistical and financial management of moving us. I have decision fatigue. I wake up with a sense of dread. All I really want to do is hibernate.

But I can’t show it. She ‘loses faith in me’ if I don’t keep a stiff upper lip and just ‘handle it like a man’. She supports in lots of practical ways – shopping, cooking, cleaning, childcare – but what I need now is a friend, someone I can be myself with, and can share my fears and vulnerabilities with, can have the liberty to be less than perfect with.

She won’t let me do that, because it scares her too much. She needs a strong man to cling to, and if her man turns out not to be strong she lashes out in fear.

So I have to kind of bottle it up. I used to have a group of male friends – I couldn’t really discuss these things, but at least we could go out for a drink once in a while and unwind – but Covid and moving have put an end to that. I now feel that I have no-one, really, who is close enough with whom to share this crushing burden of responsibility.

It is affecting our marriage – because it doesn’t feel like a partnership. A husband and wife should first and foremost be friends, but she says she can’t be my friend because friends don’t have to rely on each other financially. It’s like being married to a housekeeper / secretary.

We have s*x from time to time, but without the emotional support of a friend I feel like that, too, is a performance – that I have to put on a persona of a super-masculine, hyper-dominant ‘real man’; anything less she says is ‘disgusting’. She doesn’t even like cuddling afterwards because she thinks it’s ‘pathetic’ and ‘real men don’t cuddle, they f*ck and leave’.

I’m deeply, deeply unhappy. But the only people who know are random internet strangers.

One day I swear I’m going to crack. The only reason I don’t is because we have a kid.”

Now we want to hear from you.

What’s on YOUR mind that you’d like to get off your chest?

Talk to us in the comments!

The post Men Who Don’t Usually Open Up Share What’s on Their Minds appeared first on UberFacts.

Enjoy These Hilarious Takes on Marriage by the Wife Half of the Equation

If you are married, there are times when your partner will almost get themselves murdered in some fashion. It could be something they say, or something they do, or maybe they just decide it’s a good idea to crunch their way through a cup of ice at 10pm. IN BED.

Ahem.

Whatever the instances, the best way to handle said murder temptation is through humor (or maybe therapy or meditation) – a trick these 12 women have down pat.

12. That is true love.

I’m not that nice, I guess.

11. It all depends on your definition of the word.

And no, you shouldn’t clarify.

10. Your point?

Just get the list, man.

9. Definitely torture each other just for fun.

Otherwise, why be married?

8. I can’t stop laughing.

Priceless moments.

7. Probably not the photos he hoped to receive.

But perhaps just as effective.

6. Every morning it feels twice as long.

The rest of the day is better, I hope.

5. Ah, the perks of being a woman.

You know it’s not gonna matter to them.

4. Why do those even exist?

Who eats them? They are monsters.

3. It’s like it was his first day.

You know better, Sir.

2. Literally no one is listening.

Why would they? You’re always there to ask again.

1. Why is this so painfully true?

At least, it is over here.

These made me laugh; I must be married.

Yep, just checked. I am indeed married. Whew! Glad I confirmed that.

Which one of these hit home for you? Let’s commiserate together!

The post Enjoy These Hilarious Takes on Marriage by the Wife Half of the Equation appeared first on UberFacts.

Enjoy These Hilarious Takes on Marriage by the Wife Half of the Equation

If you are married, there are times when your partner will almost get themselves murdered in some fashion. It could be something they say, or something they do, or maybe they just decide it’s a good idea to crunch their way through a cup of ice at 10pm. IN BED.

Ahem.

Whatever the instances, the best way to handle said murder temptation is through humor (or maybe therapy or meditation) – a trick these 12 women have down pat.

12. That is true love.

I’m not that nice, I guess.

11. It all depends on your definition of the word.

And no, you shouldn’t clarify.

10. Your point?

Just get the list, man.

9. Definitely torture each other just for fun.

Otherwise, why be married?

8. I can’t stop laughing.

Priceless moments.

7. Probably not the photos he hoped to receive.

But perhaps just as effective.

6. Every morning it feels twice as long.

The rest of the day is better, I hope.

5. Ah, the perks of being a woman.

You know it’s not gonna matter to them.

4. Why do those even exist?

Who eats them? They are monsters.

3. It’s like it was his first day.

You know better, Sir.

2. Literally no one is listening.

Why would they? You’re always there to ask again.

1. Why is this so painfully true?

At least, it is over here.

These made me laugh; I must be married.

Yep, just checked. I am indeed married. Whew! Glad I confirmed that.

Which one of these hit home for you? Let’s commiserate together!

The post Enjoy These Hilarious Takes on Marriage by the Wife Half of the Equation appeared first on UberFacts.

A Deployed Father Keeps Up With His Kids Via Their Ring Doorbell

More people are buying into the idea of smart homes. We have personal assistant-type devices like Alexa and Google Home, we employ security systems, smart televisions, and yes, Ring video doorbells.

The Ring lets us see who is at the door, it can help us keep track of our packages (and record potential thieves) – and, apparently, let us keep up with our kids when we’re too far away to do it in person.

Image Credit: YouTube

Father Peter DeCrans bought his family a Ring doorbell before he was deployed with Minnesota’s National Guard’s 34th Infantry Division.

He’s stationed in the Middle East and loves having a camera that sends live feeds of his porch directly to his phone and other devices.

Image Credit: YouTube

Now, every morning before school, DeCran’s children – 7-year-old Zerick and 5-year-old Petroula – record a video that he can bring up and watch whenever he wants.

He told Twin Cities Pioneer Press that it’s something he looked forward to every single day.

“It was one of the best things ever, a little slice of home.

When you’re gone that long, you miss your kids, you want to see them. It’s a way to feel connected to what’s going on.”

Image Credit: YouTube

The kids prattled on in the videos, like kids do. They told their dad about their days, dances they’d learned, what they’d been taught in school – whatever.

“It was just part of the routine. They’d get dressed for school, and then they’d swing outside and leave a quick message telling me about their day.

One day Zerick had really long hair, and the next day he had a buzz cut because he had a wood tick in his hair, and he didn’t want long hair anymore.”

Image Credit: YouTube

Hard to blame him, right?

DeCrans sends his own recorded videos in return, using an app to read the kids stories and do other things that makes it feel like he’s not quite so far away.

So, while most of us could probably use a bit less technology in our lives, families like the DeCrans are using it to make the hard things in life a little bit bearable.

And I think we all agree that’s not a bad thing.

What did you think about this unique way to keep up with kids?

Let us know in the comments!

The post A Deployed Father Keeps Up With His Kids Via Their Ring Doorbell appeared first on UberFacts.

A Deployed Father Keeps Up With His Kids Via Their Ring Doorbell

More people are buying into the idea of smart homes. We have personal assistant-type devices like Alexa and Google Home, we employ security systems, smart televisions, and yes, Ring video doorbells.

The Ring lets us see who is at the door, it can help us keep track of our packages (and record potential thieves) – and, apparently, let us keep up with our kids when we’re too far away to do it in person.

Image Credit: YouTube

Father Peter DeCrans bought his family a Ring doorbell before he was deployed with Minnesota’s National Guard’s 34th Infantry Division.

He’s stationed in the Middle East and loves having a camera that sends live feeds of his porch directly to his phone and other devices.

Image Credit: YouTube

Now, every morning before school, DeCran’s children – 7-year-old Zerick and 5-year-old Petroula – record a video that he can bring up and watch whenever he wants.

He told Twin Cities Pioneer Press that it’s something he looked forward to every single day.

“It was one of the best things ever, a little slice of home.

When you’re gone that long, you miss your kids, you want to see them. It’s a way to feel connected to what’s going on.”

Image Credit: YouTube

The kids prattled on in the videos, like kids do. They told their dad about their days, dances they’d learned, what they’d been taught in school – whatever.

“It was just part of the routine. They’d get dressed for school, and then they’d swing outside and leave a quick message telling me about their day.

One day Zerick had really long hair, and the next day he had a buzz cut because he had a wood tick in his hair, and he didn’t want long hair anymore.”

Image Credit: YouTube

Hard to blame him, right?

DeCrans sends his own recorded videos in return, using an app to read the kids stories and do other things that makes it feel like he’s not quite so far away.

So, while most of us could probably use a bit less technology in our lives, families like the DeCrans are using it to make the hard things in life a little bit bearable.

And I think we all agree that’s not a bad thing.

What did you think about this unique way to keep up with kids?

Let us know in the comments!

The post A Deployed Father Keeps Up With His Kids Via Their Ring Doorbell appeared first on UberFacts.

Kids Who Are Much Funnier Than They Have the Right to Be

Kids are hilarious, even when they’re not trying to be. Maybe especially when they’re not trying to be, if we’re honest, but most kids are too young to post their hijinks online.

That’s where their parents come in, and these 13 tweets about the funny things kids say are definitely worth the scroll.

13. I mean, who doesn’t?

Stupid society.

12. Sometimes that’s the best way to teach a lesson.

And if it’s also funny, I mean…

11. Think about someone other than yourself, Dad.

Geez Louise.

10. Some days our bs meter is higher than others.

But it’s never infinite.

9. These might be connected.

Also, what does he want?

8. You can always find something nice to say.

And they’re just happy you’re talking to them.

7. Not to mentioned half-finished meals.

No, they’re never going to eat the rest of that later.

6. Eh, enjoy the break.

Tomorrow she’ll be mad at him.

5. “How about a knuckle sandwich?”

-Every Dad Ever

4. That’s downright hilarious.

And not a terrible philosophy when it comes to life.

3. She’s going to be an expert by the time she’s a teenager.

Practice makes perfect.

2. He could have said it.

They don’t care.

1. The truth no one tells you.

You figure it out on your own, after it’s too late.

My kids crack me up all the time but I’m too tired to tweet about it most of the time.

What has your kid said lately that’s tweet-worthy? Share it with us in the comments!

The post Kids Who Are Much Funnier Than They Have the Right to Be appeared first on UberFacts.

“Friends” Memes That Are Perfect for Parents

Though it remains to be seen how well the hit television show Friends will age, there’s no denying that it’s probably never going to stop being an integral part of pop culture for all of eternity.

Which means that, even for casual fans of the show, references are likely not lost on you – and if you’re a parent now, these 15 memes are going to hit just right.

15. The moment you realize it’s too good to be true.

That goes double if you have a puppy.

14. It’s good, but someone is missing.

It’s the dog.

13. The strangers are thinking the same thing.

Speaking from experience.

12. Hey, you still gotta enjoy it.

Let people look.

11. Don’t fall into the trap, new parents.

It’s never going to happen like you want it to.

10. The Ross “I’m fine” meme has so many uses.

Especially this year.

9. That’s the nicest thing I can think of.

Is there an alcohol that starts with ‘O.’

8. No one really wants advice.

They just want someone to come over with coffee and offer to fold some laundry.

7. Holidays are different now.

Not bad, just different.

6. The key is to take a lot of photos.

And sometimes that doesn’t even work.

5. If only it were that easy.

It’s not. You have to keep pretending to be interested.

4. A truer meme there never has been.

The good news is, everything is a phase.

3. “You’re lame!”

I try to refrain but it’s hard.

2. You will never hate yourself more.

The good thing is, most kids sleep like the dead.

1. New parents are cute.

Sweet summer child.

I have to admit, even though there are some cringey moments in the reruns, I still turn them on when I’m in need of comforting background noise.

What are your thoughts on Friends these days? Let’s start a discussion in the comments!

The post “Friends” Memes That Are Perfect for Parents appeared first on UberFacts.