Men Talk About the Instant They Knew They Were Going to Marry Their Wives

Ready to get sappy?

How about all lovey-dovey?

Well, you’re in the right place, my friends!

Because we’re about to get a heaping helping of true love stories.

Here are some romantic stories from guys on AskReddit about when they just knew they were gonna marry “The One.”

1. That’s good!

“I was on a date with this girl I really wanted to impress, and not only did I bungle the night by forgetting my wallet at an expensive dinner, but then I lost my car in the parking garage!

I was embarrassed and mortified, and after 20 minutes of running around this parking garage level by level, I could feel her glare and irritation on the back of my neck. I just knew she was thinking that it was the worst date she had ever gone on…

So I turned around to apologize, and there she was, smiling. Then she started to laugh — not at me, but almost inviting me to laugh with her about this poor bastard’s luck.

A large wave of relief washed over the dreadful evening, and we stood there on level 2 of the parking garage…just laughing. I knew at that precise moment that I wanted to marry her.”

2. Studying abroad.

“”I met her while I was studying abroad, and after I came home, we Skyped every day for hours.

Well, she came to visit for three months while I was finishing school, and then we reluctantly decided to break up because we knew it would never work long-term.

But after we said goodbye at the security checkpoint, I sat in my car in the airport parking lot, bawling like a baby.

So I dried my eyes, walked back into the airport, booked a one-way ticket, and sat down in the seat next to her.

It’s the best decision I’ve ever made.”

3. Look into my eyes.

“When I realized this was the first woman I could look in the eyes of and not feel an awkward silence.

We just stared at each other like it was the last thing we’d ever see.”

4. Perfect match.

“We were playing Trivial Pursuit against some friends, and the question we drew was, ‘Who was the 26th president of the United States?’ I figured it was my chance to impress her by listing all the US presidents in order.

But she jumped right in with me and got to Teddy Roosevelt faster than I did! It was the perfect realization that her nerdiness matched up perfectly with my own.

When we got married, we had a picture of Teddy Roosevelt on our table at the reception.”

5. Nerds in love.

“On the fourth date, when she invited me up to her apartment and I saw that her Star Wars Lego collection was even bigger than mine.

I knew right then and there.”

6. Through thick and thin.

“I was at work when I found out my best friend, John, died in a car wreck, and I went home to my girlfriend and cried on her shoulder for an hour.

Well, not only did she go to his funeral with me, but she walked beside me as I performed pallbearer duties.

I knew right there that if she was willing to literally walk beside me through one of the most difficult times in my life, I wanted her beside me for the rest of my life.

If we have another child and it’s a boy, we’re going to give him the middle name John.”

7. Character matters.

“My parents are immigrants and work minimum-wage jobs, and her parents are well-off and own their own business.

I was ashamed to tell her what my dad did, so when she asked about my parents, I dodged the question.

But she knew what I was doing and said, ‘You should never be ashamed of your parents.

They’ve worked so hard to get you where you are; I’m so proud of them.’ I couldn’t help but break down, and I knew right then and there that I would marry her.

I know it sounds kind of small, but to me, it defined her character. And I have no regrets.”

8. That’s all it took.

“My husband says it’s when he asked me what time it was and I responded, ‘It’s Howdy Doody time.’

All of his other dates gave him the actual time.”

9. Put a ring on it.

“I had just come home from my first real grad school final, and I got absolutely worked by it.

Well, when I got back to my apartment, she was sitting at my front door with two tickets to see The Force Awakens and two Chewbacca onesies for us to wear together.

At that moment, I realized she was willing to do anything to cheer me up, even going out in public in a costume that made her look ridiculous. I put a ring on it a few months later.”

10. Smiles for days.

“When her boss messaged me to tell me she always knew when my then-girlfriend was texting with me as opposed to anyone else, because she would always be smiling.

And then her mother said the same thing a few days later.”

11. That’s a keeper.

“I was working on commercial fishing vessels and couldn’t watch the NHL playoffs, so she watched the games and texted me updates.

That was the moment — when she was willing to learn the rules of hockey for me.”

12. I’ll go anywhere.

“When she asked if I would move to Boise, Idaho, with her and I thought, ‘I’d move to hell to be with her.’”

Okay, now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, tell us what always ruins a movie.

Please and thank you!

The post Men Talk About the Instant They Knew They Were Going to Marry Their Wives appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes Meant for Break Time, But You Can Take Them Home for Dinner

We’re all really busy, I know, but that just means we’re all taking breaks – you’re taking small breaks throughout the day, right?

One way to let your mind check out for a minute, or tickle your underused funny bone, is with a list of funny and relatable memes…and these 12 have you covered!

12. Are we sure those are dogs?

They kind of look like me pretending to work.

Image Credit: Someecards

11. I don’t even remember what it’s like.

Maybe that makes this decline easier.

Image Credit: Someecards

10. I’m slightly disturbed by this.

It actually looks like pizza.

Image Credit: Someecards

9. How dare.

Did you think I wouldn’t find out?

Image Credit: Someecards

8. Is that why the shampoo always runs out before the conditioner?

It’s as good a theory as any.

Image Credit: Someecards

7. He’s like Julia Roberts’ character in Runaway Bride.

He doesn’t know how he likes his own dang eggs.

Image Credit: Someecards

6. I guess there are people who don’t.

I don’t any personally, though.

Image Credit: Someecards

5. We all have to learn somehow.

It’s just a little bit of hazing.

Image Credit: Someecards

4. Your real friends are prepared for all options.

Hopefully one of them is sober just in case.

Image Credit: Someecards

3. Why is this my husband?

And how is he still alive?

Image Credit: Someecards

2. Google could diagnose half the country.

And also yes, they can.

Image Credit: Someecards

1. His gf is gonna be upset.

He’s not the dog, after all.

Image Credit: Someecards

Ok, now you can go back to the madness!

Do you feel refreshed? Share with us your favorite ways to reset when you’re feeling overwhelmed!

Thanks, fam!

The post Memes Meant for Break Time, But You Can Take Them Home for Dinner appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes Meant for Break Time, But You Can Take Them Home for Dinner

We’re all really busy, I know, but that just means we’re all taking breaks – you’re taking small breaks throughout the day, right?

One way to let your mind check out for a minute, or tickle your underused funny bone, is with a list of funny and relatable memes…and these 12 have you covered!

12. Are we sure those are dogs?

They kind of look like me pretending to work.

Image Credit: Someecards

11. I don’t even remember what it’s like.

Maybe that makes this decline easier.

Image Credit: Someecards

10. I’m slightly disturbed by this.

It actually looks like pizza.

Image Credit: Someecards

9. How dare.

Did you think I wouldn’t find out?

Image Credit: Someecards

8. Is that why the shampoo always runs out before the conditioner?

It’s as good a theory as any.

Image Credit: Someecards

7. He’s like Julia Roberts’ character in Runaway Bride.

He doesn’t know how he likes his own dang eggs.

Image Credit: Someecards

6. I guess there are people who don’t.

I don’t any personally, though.

Image Credit: Someecards

5. We all have to learn somehow.

It’s just a little bit of hazing.

Image Credit: Someecards

4. Your real friends are prepared for all options.

Hopefully one of them is sober just in case.

Image Credit: Someecards

3. Why is this my husband?

And how is he still alive?

Image Credit: Someecards

2. Google could diagnose half the country.

And also yes, they can.

Image Credit: Someecards

1. His gf is gonna be upset.

He’s not the dog, after all.

Image Credit: Someecards

Ok, now you can go back to the madness!

Do you feel refreshed? Share with us your favorite ways to reset when you’re feeling overwhelmed!

Thanks, fam!

The post Memes Meant for Break Time, But You Can Take Them Home for Dinner appeared first on UberFacts.

Drive-Thru Workers Share the Craziest Things They’ve Seen on the Job

I’ve worked in fast food places in the past, but I can’t say I was ever lucky enough to work in the drive-thru…and I still kind of regret it.

Because, based on these stories, it looks like every day is a wacky adventure!

AskReddit users talked about the craziest things they’ve seen in the drive-thru.

Let’s check it out!

1. That’s smart.

“I used to see someone come through with a lifelike mannequin in their passenger seat.

I asked about it and turns out they did it to use the commuter lanes on the highway.

You must have more than 1 person in the car or cop a fine.”

2. Weird…

“Either the guy sitting with a dog in his passenger seat and a coyote and a deer chilling in the back, or the woman wearing just a bra…but that one is more traumatizing.”

3. Mary.

“There was this woman that would come through and get a hot chocolate every day. Her name was Mary.

Mary was an older gal in her 70’s, drove an early 90’s Lincoln, usually had some old tunes playing, and weighed 60lbs, if that.

She was always so happy and so nice. I always gave her drinks for free because it was always such a treat to see her and she was just so nice.

One other feature I remember is she always rocked suspenders and a random colored fedora every day. I think she reminded me of Ms. Frizzle after she retires.

One day, she comes through and orders her usual. I said, “Mary, why are you always in such a good mood? What’s your secret?”

She smiles and waves me closer. I lean out of the drive thru window and she says, “Really, really good drugs.” She winks at me, turns her radio up, and cruises out of the parking lot. Mary is my hero.”

4. Meet my friend.

“The driver had a comically large d*ldo in the passenger seat.

He’d buckled it in and put a hat on it.”

5. Drunk driving.

“Had a drunk guy come through drive thru. A cop car was in line right behind him.

Told the cops about the drunk guy (he was blitzed and was going to kill someone). Cops said they knew as they were planning on pulling him over before he turned in and went to the drive thru. They decided they were hungry and decided to get food too before pulling him over.

They stayed at the back window and had us give them their food first so they could follow him out. Pulled him over in the parking lot. Was kind of entertaining.”

6. That’s a YES.

“Does a naked man with bags from Burger King and Taco Bell already count as a “thing”?”

7. You again!

“There was this really cute blonde girl that would always come through the drive thru naked on Saturday nights. Every now and then she would have another friend with her.

We always knew when it was her by the constant giggles coming from her car as she ordered. We always had weird customers, being it was the worlds largest Mcdonalds located in Orlando Florida.

An order for 88 big macs or 120 cheeseburgers was not out of the ordinary though.”

8. Don’t mind her.

“This dude pulled up and his girlfriend or whatever was almost entirely naked on the seat next to him, sleeping.

When he pulled up, he saw my shocked expression, pulled her thin jacket (the only thing on her body besides the seatbelt) to cover her n*pple and asked for some ketchup.

He was shockingly casual.”

9. Let’s eat!

“This girl used to come through with like 3 dogs. I finally asked her, “do you have to feed these beasts?”

And she explained that she just walks and grooms them. Well, one day she came through the drive through with like 15 dogs and she screams through the intercom “MY BUSINESS FINALLY TOOK OFF” and got a bunch of chicken tacos for them.

Come to think of it…I think she may have been trying to flirt with me. “

10. G’day.

“I worked at a McDonald’s in a small town in Michigan (think 2 stop lights)

When the car pulled up to the front window, they had a whole baby kangaroo in their lap.

I don’t know where they got that from or why, but the closest zoo was 2 hours away.”

11. Good thinking.

“I worked at Domino’s and one lady used a hand crocheted blanket to keep her pizzas warm.

Kept the blanket in the front seat and draped it over the boxes. I crochet, so I know how much work went into that blanket…”

12. People are strange.

“It was either the 12 year old driving or the lady in a right hand drive car.

The fact she had the audacity to get mad at me because I couldn’t reach her money…”

13. Gotcha!

“I worked a drive through at Arby’s and a DEA agent came through in his squad car.

When he pulled up to the window and I handed him his food and he thanked me, turned around into the criminal holding area and screamed “SHUT UP BEFORE I BREAK YOUR NOSE!”

I was clearly mortified. Then he turned back to me and said “just kidding there’s nobody back there”, laughed, and drove off.”

Hey, those were wild!

And now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, tell us your crazy tales from the drive-thru. Please and thank you!

The post Drive-Thru Workers Share the Craziest Things They’ve Seen on the Job appeared first on UberFacts.

Drive-Thru Workers Share the Craziest Things They’ve Seen on the Job

I’ve worked in fast food places in the past, but I can’t say I was ever lucky enough to work in the drive-thru…and I still kind of regret it.

Because, based on these stories, it looks like every day is a wacky adventure!

AskReddit users talked about the craziest things they’ve seen in the drive-thru.

Let’s check it out!

1. That’s smart.

“I used to see someone come through with a lifelike mannequin in their passenger seat.

I asked about it and turns out they did it to use the commuter lanes on the highway.

You must have more than 1 person in the car or cop a fine.”

2. Weird…

“Either the guy sitting with a dog in his passenger seat and a coyote and a deer chilling in the back, or the woman wearing just a bra…but that one is more traumatizing.”

3. Mary.

“There was this woman that would come through and get a hot chocolate every day. Her name was Mary.

Mary was an older gal in her 70’s, drove an early 90’s Lincoln, usually had some old tunes playing, and weighed 60lbs, if that.

She was always so happy and so nice. I always gave her drinks for free because it was always such a treat to see her and she was just so nice.

One other feature I remember is she always rocked suspenders and a random colored fedora every day. I think she reminded me of Ms. Frizzle after she retires.

One day, she comes through and orders her usual. I said, “Mary, why are you always in such a good mood? What’s your secret?”

She smiles and waves me closer. I lean out of the drive thru window and she says, “Really, really good drugs.” She winks at me, turns her radio up, and cruises out of the parking lot. Mary is my hero.”

4. Meet my friend.

“The driver had a comically large d*ldo in the passenger seat.

He’d buckled it in and put a hat on it.”

5. Drunk driving.

“Had a drunk guy come through drive thru. A cop car was in line right behind him.

Told the cops about the drunk guy (he was blitzed and was going to kill someone). Cops said they knew as they were planning on pulling him over before he turned in and went to the drive thru. They decided they were hungry and decided to get food too before pulling him over.

They stayed at the back window and had us give them their food first so they could follow him out. Pulled him over in the parking lot. Was kind of entertaining.”

6. That’s a YES.

“Does a naked man with bags from Burger King and Taco Bell already count as a “thing”?”

7. You again!

“There was this really cute blonde girl that would always come through the drive thru naked on Saturday nights. Every now and then she would have another friend with her.

We always knew when it was her by the constant giggles coming from her car as she ordered. We always had weird customers, being it was the worlds largest Mcdonalds located in Orlando Florida.

An order for 88 big macs or 120 cheeseburgers was not out of the ordinary though.”

8. Don’t mind her.

“This dude pulled up and his girlfriend or whatever was almost entirely naked on the seat next to him, sleeping.

When he pulled up, he saw my shocked expression, pulled her thin jacket (the only thing on her body besides the seatbelt) to cover her n*pple and asked for some ketchup.

He was shockingly casual.”

9. Let’s eat!

“This girl used to come through with like 3 dogs. I finally asked her, “do you have to feed these beasts?”

And she explained that she just walks and grooms them. Well, one day she came through the drive through with like 15 dogs and she screams through the intercom “MY BUSINESS FINALLY TOOK OFF” and got a bunch of chicken tacos for them.

Come to think of it…I think she may have been trying to flirt with me. “

10. G’day.

“I worked at a McDonald’s in a small town in Michigan (think 2 stop lights)

When the car pulled up to the front window, they had a whole baby kangaroo in their lap.

I don’t know where they got that from or why, but the closest zoo was 2 hours away.”

11. Good thinking.

“I worked at Domino’s and one lady used a hand crocheted blanket to keep her pizzas warm.

Kept the blanket in the front seat and draped it over the boxes. I crochet, so I know how much work went into that blanket…”

12. People are strange.

“It was either the 12 year old driving or the lady in a right hand drive car.

The fact she had the audacity to get mad at me because I couldn’t reach her money…”

13. Gotcha!

“I worked a drive through at Arby’s and a DEA agent came through in his squad car.

When he pulled up to the window and I handed him his food and he thanked me, turned around into the criminal holding area and screamed “SHUT UP BEFORE I BREAK YOUR NOSE!”

I was clearly mortified. Then he turned back to me and said “just kidding there’s nobody back there”, laughed, and drove off.”

Hey, those were wild!

And now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, tell us your crazy tales from the drive-thru. Please and thank you!

The post Drive-Thru Workers Share the Craziest Things They’ve Seen on the Job appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Work In the Drive-Thru Discuss the Weirdest Things They’ve Seen

The closest I’ve ever come to working in a drive-thru was when I worked the window of a food truck in New Orleans.

And let me tell you, that was A BLAST.

So I can only imagine what it’s like to work the drive-thru at a fast food place…it sounds like a non-stop adventure!

Let’s get crazy with drive-thru workers who shared their stories on AskReddit.

1. Nice to meet you.

“Dude had a full on s*x doll dressed up in his passenger seat.

Sunglasses, dress and even a hat. I couldn’t even tell it was fake until I asked for their order.

Coworker and I looked at each other simultaneously and we both said “was that a s*x doll?”

This is in a “wealthy” area of my city as well so it was definitely a first.”

2. Did you pet it?

“Only worked drive-through for a year but the weirdest thing I saw was an alpaca in a minivan.

They asked at the window if they could order some apple slices for the alpaca. I just gave them two packs on the house.”

3. Creep.

“Had a guy consistently come through the drive thru with his p*nis out and showing the young girls running the windows.

He would always order the same thing, large Mellow Yellow no ice, always on a Sunday, and always wearing military fatigues. Then he stopped showing up for a bit, we called him Private Peters, as our little sign to call the cops if he showed up again.

A month later we get an order for a large mellow yellow no ice, so I decide to take over the window because had a 16 year old running cash and sure enough he hands me his money with his d*ck in his other hand.

We convinced the car in front of him to stay in the lane and we called the cops, he got suspicious and left but they caught him and was charged.”

4. Free spirits.

“A car pulls up, and all 4 people are just completely naked, just casually chilling.”

5. Oh, boy.

“I heard a blowj*b taking place over the headset.

It was a location open 24/7 so we had to reset the tills for 10 mins every evening at 11pm so people would just sit in their car & wait.

Most people don’t realize that we could hear everything, the speakers don’t turn off while the vehicle is there.”

6. Look out!

“Someone threw a fish at me once.

Didn’t order anything, just a drive by fish attack.”

7. A little extreme.

“Someone pulled a gun on my brother because the salsa containers weren’t completely full.

You can get as many as you want for no extra charge.”

8. Oh…hello.

“My gym teacher, drunk.

He started eating the tacos at the drive-thru window.

He was there for over 5 minutes, just eating. I saw him the next day in school, we both acted like nothing happened.”

9. Oversized load.

“Had a customer come through with a giant grandfather clock in the back seat. The thing was so huge it was sticking out the side window, which just so happened to be on the left side of the car.

Which meant dude couldn’t get close enough to the window to reach his food and had to step out, cursing the whole time.”

10. What could they be?

“I worked at a Tim Horton’s and once saw an old lady with like 50 cartons of eggs in her car.

I made a joke saying “looks like you could make your own breakfast” and she got real straight faced and said “oh honey those aren’t eggs”.

Still have zero clue what else you would store in egg cartons…”

11. No thanks…

“Two guys were hotboxing and decided to come to the drive thru.

They did not stop smoking even when they pulled up to the window. I swear a cloud of smoke rolled out the window when they lowered it to pay.

They offered me a hit and I politely declined.”

12. Gross.

“I was working the drive-thru at Burger King in a snowstorm. Driver orders a coke with no ice.

When I hand them the coke, they empty it a bit, break off a couple icicles hanging from the car, put in the coke, and drive off without saying a word.”

13. Might want to clean that out.

“The entire car was filled with trash.

Like legitimately up to ceiling in the back seat and up to shoulder height in the passenger seat.

I was so stunned I nearly forgot to give them their food.”

14. Some people…

“A woman drinking a tall boy of Budweiser. It was 530 in the morning at a Starbucks.

There’s also a guy that takes his 3 dogs for rides. They ride in buckled seats and wear goggles so the wind doesn’t hurt their eyes.”

Attention, drive-thru workers of the world!

Now we want to hear from you!

Tell us your wild stories in the comments. Thanks!

The post People Who Work In the Drive-Thru Discuss the Weirdest Things They’ve Seen appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Work In the Drive-Thru Discuss the Weirdest Things They’ve Seen

The closest I’ve ever come to working in a drive-thru was when I worked the window of a food truck in New Orleans.

And let me tell you, that was A BLAST.

So I can only imagine what it’s like to work the drive-thru at a fast food place…it sounds like a non-stop adventure!

Let’s get crazy with drive-thru workers who shared their stories on AskReddit.

1. Nice to meet you.

“Dude had a full on s*x doll dressed up in his passenger seat.

Sunglasses, dress and even a hat. I couldn’t even tell it was fake until I asked for their order.

Coworker and I looked at each other simultaneously and we both said “was that a s*x doll?”

This is in a “wealthy” area of my city as well so it was definitely a first.”

2. Did you pet it?

“Only worked drive-through for a year but the weirdest thing I saw was an alpaca in a minivan.

They asked at the window if they could order some apple slices for the alpaca. I just gave them two packs on the house.”

3. Creep.

“Had a guy consistently come through the drive thru with his p*nis out and showing the young girls running the windows.

He would always order the same thing, large Mellow Yellow no ice, always on a Sunday, and always wearing military fatigues. Then he stopped showing up for a bit, we called him Private Peters, as our little sign to call the cops if he showed up again.

A month later we get an order for a large mellow yellow no ice, so I decide to take over the window because had a 16 year old running cash and sure enough he hands me his money with his d*ck in his other hand.

We convinced the car in front of him to stay in the lane and we called the cops, he got suspicious and left but they caught him and was charged.”

4. Free spirits.

“A car pulls up, and all 4 people are just completely naked, just casually chilling.”

5. Oh, boy.

“I heard a blowj*b taking place over the headset.

It was a location open 24/7 so we had to reset the tills for 10 mins every evening at 11pm so people would just sit in their car & wait.

Most people don’t realize that we could hear everything, the speakers don’t turn off while the vehicle is there.”

6. Look out!

“Someone threw a fish at me once.

Didn’t order anything, just a drive by fish attack.”

7. A little extreme.

“Someone pulled a gun on my brother because the salsa containers weren’t completely full.

You can get as many as you want for no extra charge.”

8. Oh…hello.

“My gym teacher, drunk.

He started eating the tacos at the drive-thru window.

He was there for over 5 minutes, just eating. I saw him the next day in school, we both acted like nothing happened.”

9. Oversized load.

“Had a customer come through with a giant grandfather clock in the back seat. The thing was so huge it was sticking out the side window, which just so happened to be on the left side of the car.

Which meant dude couldn’t get close enough to the window to reach his food and had to step out, cursing the whole time.”

10. What could they be?

“I worked at a Tim Horton’s and once saw an old lady with like 50 cartons of eggs in her car.

I made a joke saying “looks like you could make your own breakfast” and she got real straight faced and said “oh honey those aren’t eggs”.

Still have zero clue what else you would store in egg cartons…”

11. No thanks…

“Two guys were hotboxing and decided to come to the drive thru.

They did not stop smoking even when they pulled up to the window. I swear a cloud of smoke rolled out the window when they lowered it to pay.

They offered me a hit and I politely declined.”

12. Gross.

“I was working the drive-thru at Burger King in a snowstorm. Driver orders a coke with no ice.

When I hand them the coke, they empty it a bit, break off a couple icicles hanging from the car, put in the coke, and drive off without saying a word.”

13. Might want to clean that out.

“The entire car was filled with trash.

Like legitimately up to ceiling in the back seat and up to shoulder height in the passenger seat.

I was so stunned I nearly forgot to give them their food.”

14. Some people…

“A woman drinking a tall boy of Budweiser. It was 530 in the morning at a Starbucks.

There’s also a guy that takes his 3 dogs for rides. They ride in buckled seats and wear goggles so the wind doesn’t hurt their eyes.”

Attention, drive-thru workers of the world!

Now we want to hear from you!

Tell us your wild stories in the comments. Thanks!

The post People Who Work In the Drive-Thru Discuss the Weirdest Things They’ve Seen appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share NSFW History Facts That You Might Not Be Familiar With

I consider myself a history lover, but even I was pretty blown away by the facts that people threw out here in the article you’re about to read.

Are you ready to see a side of the past that you don’t usually get to check out?

It’s time to get some naughty history lessons from folks on AskReddit.

1. Iceland.

“There is a legal p*nis size in Iceland.

It’s an old law from the Middle Ages after a woman was married off to a man and on her wedding night was so disappointed with how small his p*nis was that she took him back to the church to have an annulment.

Because of her a law was made that a man must be at least three inches while hard to marry.

There is a wonderful documentary called “The Final Member” in which this is an actual problem.”

2. A carving.

“There is a carving on the side of the belfry in Ghent that depicts a man suckling the breast of a woman.

The story is that the man was condemned to die unless he could prove his innocence by surviving imprisonment without food for 40 days. He could have visitors during his imprisonment but they of course were checked for food.

His daughter visited him everyday. She was a wet nurse ….

He was let go after 40 days having survived.”

3. Yikes.

“In ancient Egypt, soldiers proved their battle prowess by presenting the severed p*nises of their slaughtered enemies.

Traditionally, severed hands were presented, but in 1182 B.C. Libyans, and other allies invaded Egypt and were defeated by the army of Ramesses III, and Ramesses suspected that some soldiers were claiming extra credit by presenting the hands of women as well as the male soldiers.

So he demanded p*nises instead. His victory inscriptions mention 12,535 foreskins and hands, and has images of the piles of the body parts at the Medinet Habu mortuary temple.”

4. Whoa.

“Shi Pei Pu was a Chinese opera singer turned spy active during the 1960s. He pretended to be a woman for 20 years to seduce a French embassy employee and obtain classified documents.

His charade went so far as to fake a pregnancy and purchase a child and pretend it was theirs. He managed to fool everyone, including his lover, for over two decades before finally being exposed to the world.”

5. The high seas.

“Back during the age of sail, sailors would go months and months without any women or any privacy. When they’d get to port, hundreds of prostitutes would take boats out to the ships to greet the sailors, who would almost all have s*x with at least one.

This included the ship’s boys. Like I said, there was no privacy at all – the crew would share one huge room, dozens or hundreds of men sleeping in hammocks slung 28” apart. So the ensuing copulation took place in the wide open, hundreds of people having s*x all over the ship in plain sight.

This wasn’t a rare thing. It was almost universal, though some more religious captains wouldn’t let the prostitutes on board. STDs were therefore incredibly common.”

6. The Bad Pope.

“Pope John XII was interesting. He became Pope in 955. His high points are.:

Turned the sacred palace into a whorehouse

Fornicated with, among others, his father’s concubine, various widows and even his own niece

Castrated and then murdered a cardinal

Blinded and then murdered his confessor

Took payment for ordaining bishops and even ordained a 10-year-old boy as a bishop

Ordained a deacon in a stable

Refused to make the sign of the cross

Toasted the Devil

Invoked the names of pagan gods while playing dice and when he lost, used money from the papal treasury to pay off his debts

Granted, he was a teenager when he became Pope, thanks to his dad buying the office, but still…”

7. Harsh times.

“When the Roman statesman Sejanus, the Emperor Tiberius’ right-hand man, fell from grace and was executed, The Roman people were eager to take their revenge on his family as well for all the tyranny he had put them through.

So they decided to kill his young son and daughter as well. There was no real issue about killing the boy, but when it came to the young girl there was a sudden outcry.

It was against all precedent to execute an innocent young girl, and above that, deeply impious to put to death a virgin maid.

So they had the executioner r*pe her first.”

8. Well, that’s different.

“Mary Toft put baby rabbits in her v*gina and then pretended to give birth to them to confuse doctors.”

9. What a way to go.

“The actual death of Ratcliffe (you know, the oddly proportioned villain from Pocahontas?).

From the Encyclopedia Virginia:

The colonists, led by Captain John Ratcliffe, walked into an ambush; about thirty-three men, or two-thirds of their number, were killed.

The Indians captured Ratcliffe, and their women skinned him alive using mussel shells.”

10. Big boy.

“Ferdinand VII of Spain had a huge d*ck, so much in fact that its rumored that one of his wives died of a hemorrhage derived from having s*x with the monarch.

He almost died without a heir bc he couldn’t have s*x with the queen consorts without any damage (he only had a daughter, and he had to go through hell to change some old laws that prevented his daughter from reigning).”

11. Wrap it up.

“Roman troops were provided cow intestine condoms, as STD epidemics could decide the fate of entire wars.”

12. Messed up.

“At the temple of Aphrodite in Cyprus, overlooking the legendary birthplace of Aphrodite, young virgin girls would tie a bow string around their head and await a man to come along and throw a silver coin of any value into their lap.

The man would say ” I demand thee in the name of the goddess”. The girl then had to have s*x with the man. In this way the girl would make her “first fruit” offering to Aphrodite.

It is said that some girls had to come back for many days before they were chosen.”

Okay, history buffs, now it’s your turn.

In the comments, tell us some more crazy history facts that most people don’t know.

Thanks a lot!

The post People Share NSFW History Facts That You Might Not Be Familiar With appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share NSFW History Facts That You Might Not Be Familiar With

I consider myself a history lover, but even I was pretty blown away by the facts that people threw out here in the article you’re about to read.

Are you ready to see a side of the past that you don’t usually get to check out?

It’s time to get some naughty history lessons from folks on AskReddit.

1. Iceland.

“There is a legal p*nis size in Iceland.

It’s an old law from the Middle Ages after a woman was married off to a man and on her wedding night was so disappointed with how small his p*nis was that she took him back to the church to have an annulment.

Because of her a law was made that a man must be at least three inches while hard to marry.

There is a wonderful documentary called “The Final Member” in which this is an actual problem.”

2. A carving.

“There is a carving on the side of the belfry in Ghent that depicts a man suckling the breast of a woman.

The story is that the man was condemned to die unless he could prove his innocence by surviving imprisonment without food for 40 days. He could have visitors during his imprisonment but they of course were checked for food.

His daughter visited him everyday. She was a wet nurse ….

He was let go after 40 days having survived.”

3. Yikes.

“In ancient Egypt, soldiers proved their battle prowess by presenting the severed p*nises of their slaughtered enemies.

Traditionally, severed hands were presented, but in 1182 B.C. Libyans, and other allies invaded Egypt and were defeated by the army of Ramesses III, and Ramesses suspected that some soldiers were claiming extra credit by presenting the hands of women as well as the male soldiers.

So he demanded p*nises instead. His victory inscriptions mention 12,535 foreskins and hands, and has images of the piles of the body parts at the Medinet Habu mortuary temple.”

4. Whoa.

“Shi Pei Pu was a Chinese opera singer turned spy active during the 1960s. He pretended to be a woman for 20 years to seduce a French embassy employee and obtain classified documents.

His charade went so far as to fake a pregnancy and purchase a child and pretend it was theirs. He managed to fool everyone, including his lover, for over two decades before finally being exposed to the world.”

5. The high seas.

“Back during the age of sail, sailors would go months and months without any women or any privacy. When they’d get to port, hundreds of prostitutes would take boats out to the ships to greet the sailors, who would almost all have s*x with at least one.

This included the ship’s boys. Like I said, there was no privacy at all – the crew would share one huge room, dozens or hundreds of men sleeping in hammocks slung 28” apart. So the ensuing copulation took place in the wide open, hundreds of people having s*x all over the ship in plain sight.

This wasn’t a rare thing. It was almost universal, though some more religious captains wouldn’t let the prostitutes on board. STDs were therefore incredibly common.”

6. The Bad Pope.

“Pope John XII was interesting. He became Pope in 955. His high points are.:

Turned the sacred palace into a whorehouse

Fornicated with, among others, his father’s concubine, various widows and even his own niece

Castrated and then murdered a cardinal

Blinded and then murdered his confessor

Took payment for ordaining bishops and even ordained a 10-year-old boy as a bishop

Ordained a deacon in a stable

Refused to make the sign of the cross

Toasted the Devil

Invoked the names of pagan gods while playing dice and when he lost, used money from the papal treasury to pay off his debts

Granted, he was a teenager when he became Pope, thanks to his dad buying the office, but still…”

7. Harsh times.

“When the Roman statesman Sejanus, the Emperor Tiberius’ right-hand man, fell from grace and was executed, The Roman people were eager to take their revenge on his family as well for all the tyranny he had put them through.

So they decided to kill his young son and daughter as well. There was no real issue about killing the boy, but when it came to the young girl there was a sudden outcry.

It was against all precedent to execute an innocent young girl, and above that, deeply impious to put to death a virgin maid.

So they had the executioner r*pe her first.”

8. Well, that’s different.

“Mary Toft put baby rabbits in her v*gina and then pretended to give birth to them to confuse doctors.”

9. What a way to go.

“The actual death of Ratcliffe (you know, the oddly proportioned villain from Pocahontas?).

From the Encyclopedia Virginia:

The colonists, led by Captain John Ratcliffe, walked into an ambush; about thirty-three men, or two-thirds of their number, were killed.

The Indians captured Ratcliffe, and their women skinned him alive using mussel shells.”

10. Big boy.

“Ferdinand VII of Spain had a huge d*ck, so much in fact that its rumored that one of his wives died of a hemorrhage derived from having s*x with the monarch.

He almost died without a heir bc he couldn’t have s*x with the queen consorts without any damage (he only had a daughter, and he had to go through hell to change some old laws that prevented his daughter from reigning).”

11. Wrap it up.

“Roman troops were provided cow intestine condoms, as STD epidemics could decide the fate of entire wars.”

12. Messed up.

“At the temple of Aphrodite in Cyprus, overlooking the legendary birthplace of Aphrodite, young virgin girls would tie a bow string around their head and await a man to come along and throw a silver coin of any value into their lap.

The man would say ” I demand thee in the name of the goddess”. The girl then had to have s*x with the man. In this way the girl would make her “first fruit” offering to Aphrodite.

It is said that some girls had to come back for many days before they were chosen.”

Okay, history buffs, now it’s your turn.

In the comments, tell us some more crazy history facts that most people don’t know.

Thanks a lot!

The post People Share NSFW History Facts That You Might Not Be Familiar With appeared first on UberFacts.

What Are Some NSFW Facts About History That We Don’t Hear Very Often?

Calling all history fanatics!

Here’s an article that we know you’re gonna love!

Yes, we’ve all learned most of the basics, but what about the dark underbelly of the past that we don’t usually see?

What are some NSFW history facts that a lot of folks don’t know about?

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

1. You fools!

“In 1488 an Italian noblewoman Catarina Sforza-Riario locked herself in a castle to save herself from her enemies.

Her enemies managed to capture her children and threatened to kill them if she wouldn’t surrender.

She climbed on ramparts, lifted her skirt to expose her female parts and shouted “Fools! Don’t you see that I can make myself more children?””

2. A little uptight.

“In colonial America a guy was arrested and charged because he drew a lewd image of his wife in the snow.

Puritans didn’t appreciate the art.”

3. Getting it on.

“In 1992, two astronauts did not disclose they were married to NASA until it was too late to replace one of them and thus became the first married couple in space.

While the two astronauts in question are not the kiss and tell types, most people assume this means space s*x has happened (obviously you don’t have to be married to try it, but it does make it harder to figure out the couples).

NASA’s official stance is that it hasn’t, but I’m not sure people really believe them.”

4. Sounds like a party.

“From the 13th to the 15th of February the Romans celebrated Lupercalia (Roman precursor of Valentine’s day), which was a festival of love and fertility.

Priests would sacrifice a goat and then cut the goat skin into pieces. Part of this they would wear on their heads, and other parts were cut into thongs. The men would then run around the city of Rome naked, hitting as many women with these thongs as they possibly could (being hit would help with pregnancy or becoming pregnant).

So depending on what they wanted, the women would either deliberately stand in the way of the men, or try to run away while pretty much everyone was naked.

In another part of the festivities men would draw names of women from a jar and the goal was that they’d stay together for the duration of the festival. This would often result in a lot of… you know… intercourse, and sometimes people actually fell in love and got married after they met during Lupercalia.”

5. Uh oh.

“The CIA once considered sending the Soviets condoms that were large labeled “small” to convince them that the US was well endowed.”

6. Hmmmm…

“In Pisa on St Catherine’s day, students would search for and capture the fattest Jew they could find and demand a ransom of his weight in sweets.

Source: The Great Mortality, John Kelly.”

7. Come on in!

“A lot of people banged in the White House on the day of Andrew Jackson’s inauguration.”

8. Really getting into it.

“French modern philosopher Michel Foucault, in addition to studying crime and deviance in a Criminology sense, also applied his theories on punishment to his fascination with BDSM, having also written a number of kink-based works.

He eventually moved to San Francisco and partook in gay bathhouses (notorious for casual s*x).

He eventually caught HIV and some have speculated (it may be written somewhere?) that he purposely contracted it as some sort of poetic social commentary.”

9. Go for it!

“In Ancient Egypt they held a fertility festival each year and at this festival it was the Pharaohs responsibility to strip down and jerk off into the Nile.”

10. Ugh!

“There was a guy that tried to prove that yellow fever wasn’t contagious and so he would pour the infected vomit into his freshly cut opened would, pouring it into his eyes, and drinking it.

And soaking into a bath of it. And smearing his body with blood, piss, and spit. He was fine because yellow fever isn’t spread through direct contact, it’s spread through mosquitoes.

So he did all that for nothing. His name was Stubbins Ffirth, look it up.”

11. I’d like to see that!

“In 1511 a bunch of people in Brussels took part in the building of 110 vulgar snowmen as an act of protest.”

12. One-track mind.

“Romans loved depicting s*xual acts.

On many everyday items, like oil lamps, combs, bowls, etc. you often see images of people f*cking.

Like p*rn, but in daily life.”

13. Brutal.

“During war time some armies would wipe sh*t on their spears so that when they stabbed/slashed enemies they’d get that extra poison damage.”

14. Sick.

“Slave owners in the US had a “health official” who would lick slaves to see if their health was of good standing.”

How about you?

Do you know some NSFW history facts?

If so, please share them with us in the comments. Thanks a lot!

The post What Are Some NSFW Facts About History That We Don’t Hear Very Often? appeared first on UberFacts.