Month: September 2020

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Issues From Third World Countries That People From First World Countries Can’t Comprehend

A lot of times, we get so caught up in our own lives, we can lose sight of the bigger picture. If you’ve only ever lived or spent time in a first world country, you might not understand just how different life can be in a third world country.

AskReddit users offered their real life experiences living in or spending significant time in third world countries.

1. I never thought I’d take a crosswalk for granted:

“I was in Egypt while it was under Mubarak, and I remember trying to contend with traffic in Cairo.

I had to ask the police officer who was standing there if the drivers obey the lights or the road markings.

He told me that those were there to make the roads look nice!”

– IVTD4KDS

2. I’ve gotta remember this one: 

“I walk with my cellphone hidden in my pants because it’s extremely common for you to get robbed.

I’ve been through a violent robbery while dinning, and very few people I know haven’t been through similar experiences, multiple times even.”

– alulugrace

3. And this:

“I learned this trick from a friend: a gang member tried to rob him, he told him to give him his cell phone, so he took out his fake cell phone and threw it as far as he could.

The gang member went after the cell phone and my friend used that moment to run. The gang member realized what was happening, but it was too late.

My friend managed to get to a store with security guards where they helped him and called the police.”

– EpicAlmond

4. Start clipping those coupons:

“Argentinian here.

You just go to the store expecting everything to be 5-10% more than the last time you went.”

– Alzusand

5. This is actually pretty similar to how Midwesterners give directions:

“I’m American but have worked in 70+ countries over the last 12 years. So let’s discuss Nicaragua….

There are no addresses. None.

Trying to get to your hotel? You’ll get a description of the general location using the rising or setting sun, lake shores and other prominent land marks which may or may not exist! Then the distance from that landmark in a unit of measurement that hasn’t been used for centuries. (The vara…which is about 2.5 feet).

It’s truly amazing that anyone gets anywhere in Nicaragua.”

– TinKicker

6. This sounds pretty scary…

“Having a sh*t ton of deterrence mechanisms around your house.

Burglar bars on all the windows, trellis doors on your front door and then probably one in the bedroom hallway.

Keeping your door locked. If you don’t have a fence you’re just asking people to break in and murder you.

South Africa.”

– liam_eras

7. I’m starting to feel the same way:

“I’m Canadian, and I’ve visited my South African in-laws twice now.

One of the biggest culture shocks for me was having to be locked up so tight.

Being able to safely be in an unfenced backyard or take a walk by myself at nearly any time of day is a luxury I no longer take for granted.”

– JByrde76

8. So much for man’s best friend:

“Stray dogs, which some of them are hostile, are everywhere.

It is not possible to roam in the streets around sunrise when they walk in groups or during night, without risking yourself being attacked by dogs.

I moved to Europe now but I am still unreasonably nervous around leashed dogs that people are walking.”

– hardware26

9. The next time you get annoyed while waiting in line to place your order, remember this:

“Having to stand for hours in bread lines, then for hours at the petrol lines, then for hours at the cooking gas lines, then coming back home to find that they shut off the electricity because there’s too much load.”

– DRIZZYLMG

10. Accessibility to medical care is never something to be taken for granted:

“Here in Peru (specially if you are not from the capital) to get a medical appointment you need to wait 3 months. (For surgeries or actual medical treatments it can take over a year.)

So many people I knew got random appointments just in case something happens.

You’d better suffer the hemorrhage that day or you have to pray for the eucalyptus tea to actually work.”

– lStormVR

11. And I thought the broken washing machines in my apartment building were annoying…

“One aspect of living in a first world country is that it’s normal for things to work. In third world countries, it’s the opposite.

Technology, roads, institutions…there is a tacit assumption that none of these things work the way they’re supposed to, and that’s just the way it is.

When you live in the third world, your roads are full of potholes, your lights go out every week (if not every day), everything is on the fritz and politicians are incredibly corrupt (and yes, I know that there’s corruption in Europe and the US as well, but it’s not like our corruption).

– machu_pikacchu

12. At least the bananas are amazing?

“I don’t live there anymore, but I used to live in Guatemala. Here’s a list of some of the differences I remember:

You could pay people to watch your car if you parked it on the street to keep it from being broken into.

The bananas were amazing there though! The open-air market was one of the best things about living there. Bananas in the US where I moved back to taste like wax in comparison. :/”

– AvengerofSquids

I don’t know about you, but I feel pretty privileged to live where I live right now. Listening to the stories of what others are experiencing is a great way to gain perspective. Suddenly that 10-minute wait in line at the drive-through doesn’t seem too bad.

Do you live in a third world country? What issues do you deal with that people in first world countries can’t comprehend?

Let us know in the comments!

The post Issues From Third World Countries That People From First World Countries Can’t Comprehend appeared first on UberFacts.

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Things That Exist Solely Due to Human Stupidity

Sometimes we come across rules or precautions that just seem so dang obvious, we wonder why on earth they even need to be stated. Perhaps it’s for legal reasons, perhaps it’s because at some point some person made a very stupid decision.

AskReddit users share the feelings on things that exist solely because of stupid people.

1. You would think it’s obvious…

“When my aunt died I ended up with my mom and uncle talking to the funeral home advisor.

When they were discussing cremation, the funeral advisor made my uncle sign a form indicating he understands cremation is irreversible.”

– cineboo

2. But apparently not

“When I was arranging for my mother’s cremation, both my sister and I had to sign the paperwork saying we agreed and understand it’s irreversible.

Apparently there have been numerous cases where one family member authorized a cremation and then afterwards, other family members got upset and wanted it undone.”

– ReadontheCrapper

2. As another user points out, he doesn’t get his powers from the cape:

“The warning on a Superman cape costume that warns product won’t give you the ability to fly.”

– blindgirlandherguide

3. I didn’t even think this was possible

“Do not iron this t-shirt whilst wearing it.”

– Fires_Of_Fury

4. Don’t make this harder than it has to be

“The signs on a stroller that says take the child out of the seat before folding.”

– immickolas

5. Lest we not forget the “Tide Pod Challenge”

“‘DO NOT EAT’ warnings on everything from washing pods to slug pellets.”

– LucyVialli

6. If it’s good enough for the animals, it’s good enough for me

“I went to a zoo, and in every animal exhibit there was a sign saying ‘Recycled water, do not drink.’

And you know that’s there for a reason.

Some stupid person broke into an exhibit to drink that nasty looking water.”

– 2lugz

7. I don’t envy this IT worker

“My job! – I work in IT. For the love of God if you depend on your computer for your job know at least a little about it. I would say that over 80% are for silly things. Some of the calls I have taken:

How do I keep my self from deleting my own files?

What do you mean you can not fix my broke laptop screen remotely?

I am not trying to connect to the internet, I am just trying to get my email.”

– tectuma

8. I like my Shamwow thank you very much.

“Anything an infomercial tries to sell you.”

– TheBlessedBoy99

9. Don’t be that person

“When I was in middle school my friends and I (like 15 12-year-old girls) basically took over a mall.

We were pretty rowdy and obnoxious. I know a few people shoplifted (not me lol), one of us threw up in the food court, and we mobbed a minor celebrity.

Now that mall splits up groups of larger than 3 kids. Oops. Sorry.”

– KTnash

10. Who woulda thought?

“At my workplace, there are giant containers of soap and cleaning chemicals.

On the cart, there is a giant sign that reads ‘Do NOT drink’ in three languages, all hand written.

Apparently, before the sign was put up, three separate instances were found where the cleaning cart was unattended, and an employee tried to drink the yellow cleaning solution, thinking it was a drink cart.

Let me add the fact that the cart also has a sign on it that says ‘Cleaning Supply Cart.’”

– Aarryle

11. It DOES look like a giant marshmallow…

“The tag on my pillow that says ‘Do Not Consume.’ Why is this an issue?”

– FaetFelicis

12. On that note…

“Former Pharmacy Tech here.

I was shocked that we had to put ‘unwrap’ and insert on the label for suppository prescriptions.

Alrighty, then.”

– Daffydil04

After reading this, I’m a bit concerned about the future of humanity. The fact that we’ve survived this long is astounding. Thankfully, we get to learn from the mistakes of the stupidity of the people who came before us.

What do you think exists solely due to human stupidity? Let us know in the comments!

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The Person vs. the Personality Memes That Reveal a Person’s True Self

A lot of times we’re told just “be ourself” but putting this into practice can be harder than you think.

We have the version of ourselves we present to our friends or family, but we also have work personas, first date personas, and even fantasy personas we might inhabit while gaming or goofing around. (Burt Macklin anyone?) So which one is our “true” personality? And will our friends and family accept it?

Now the truth can be revealed. The Person vs. The Personality meme went viral on Twitter in May 2020 and with good reason. It consist of a two-panel image, one displaying “the person” and another displaying the often humorously different “personality.”

1. Lin-Manuel Miranda reveals his true personality…

Blathering Blatherskite! Listen to Lin-Manuel voice character Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera on the new DuckTales series.

2. All hail the Queen:

Cersei Lannister is an ambitious woman who goes after her dreams. Nothing wrong with that. (Minus the murder)

3. Know thyself:

Did anybody else just go “Awwwww!”?

4. As far as I’m concerned, doctors ARE superheroes:

Especially those who work in women’s reproductive health!

5. Self-awareness is important:

Princess Carolyn may need to do some self work, but she’s also a total badass.

6. People respect you more when you let your brilliance shine:

Subtitle

7. YAS Queen

“You’re gonna her me ROAR!”

8. But it’s ok to be shy:

That’s the thing about cats. You have to wait for them to come to you.

9. When we reveal who we are, we allow people to love us for who we truly are:

I already know I want to be friends with this person.

10. Or at the very least, we can make someone laugh:

Squidward deserves love too ya’ll.

11. Because if someone can’t love us for our true selves…

Do they really deserve to know us at all?

The Person vs. Personality meme is your chance to show the world who you truly are. Or just make a hilarious meme. Take your pick.

Will you reveal your true self to the world? Show us in the comments!

The post The Person vs. the Personality Memes That Reveal a Person’s True Self appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About Things They’re Bad at That They’ve Done Their Entire Lives

Is there anything that you’ve done pretty much forever but you’re still really bad at it?

Maybe it’s an instrument, a sport, or some other activity.

Or maybe it’s an everyday thing, like walking…let’s hope it’s not that, though.

We all have those things in our lives, right?

Let’s see what AskReddit users had to say about things they’ve been doing forever that they’re still really bad at.

1. They’re not easy.

“Video games.

In my mid thirties, have been playing since about age eight and I’m bad. Most FPS games are a whirling blur of colours and shapes. Anything post-2000ish has controls too complex for me.

I spend my time gaming online getting screamed at by irate 12 year-old French kids. Not quite how I envisaged my adulthood.”

2. Just can’t do it.

“Getting up in the morning.

I practice every day and yet I still always run late from sleeping in.”

3. A lot of this out there.

“My handwriting sucks.

My handwriting hasn’t changed since fourth grade. I’m also a huge letter writing fanatic, so I can only imagine how my pen pals feel.”

4. Indecisive.

“My big stressor is someone asking me what I want for dinner. An innocent question for most people but for me.. verge of tears.

I CANNOT deal with it. It’s not an eating thing, it’s a decision thing.”

5. Not getting it.

“Socializing.

I was never good at it from the start so for the school days I kind of avoided it but now it is something I am required to do day in and day out.

It just doesn’t comes naturally to me.”

6. Might wanna work on that.

“Drinking water without coughing is my issue. Covid made me realize just how bad I am at swallowing pretty much everything because everyone is hyper-aware of every coughing noise.

I have multiple coughing fits a day keep having to swear it’s not corona.”

7. Not your strength.

“Things that involve time management.

I always procrastinate on completing tasks.”

8. Some people just can’t do it.

“Being happy and “living in the moment”.

Seriously. Anytime I’m having a good time my mind realizes it and forces me to think about other stuff.

“Oh, you’re having a good time? What about all your debt? Bills? The car needs repairs…””

9. Scary stuff.

“Speaking publicly.

I’ve been in programs my whole life where we would have to speak publicly or to an audience, I’ve trained for it and done exercises for it, been tested on it, and passed everything.

Yet when I go up there and it’s not for a grade, I shake and my voice wavers and I ramble. No clue why.”

10. Binge eating.

“Portion control. I overeat. I binge.

I have desperately tried to limit my food intake for as long as I remember. In preschool I’d limit myself to only eating half of the lunch provided…but then in the middle of the night I binge eat out of the fridge, eating 4 or 5 days with of food in 10 minutes.

I’m nearly 40 and am still doing this. I wake up in the morning and find I’ve eaten everything during the night.

I can not allow myself to have more than 2 days worth of groceries in the house. I tried meal prep and gained 60lbs because I ate a weeks worth of food every night in my sleep.”

11. Not a good test taker.

“Taking tests.

I can learn and know the material from top to bottom, yes. I can study for hours and absolutely know what I am talking about with other people. Presentations, debates, round tables whatever you want to call it.

Put a test on from of me and set up a timer and all of that knowledge automatically goes down the drain for some reason.”

12. Walking issues.

“Walking!

I trip over my feet even without socks on. It’s actually pretty sad.

I’ve taken enough spills in my life to know that I could never manage a track career.”

13. You’re not alone!

“Math.

I just recently learned that I have dyscalculia, so I don’t feel too bad about it.”

14. Can’t sleep.

“Sleeping.

Never learned how to do it.

I just browse until I pass out from exhaustion and often wake repeatedly and still tired.

It ain’t fun.”

How about you?

What have you done for all or most of your life that you’re still bad at?

Spill your guts to us in the comments!

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13 Petty Reasons Why Marriage Counselors Have Seen New Clients

If you have ever been married, you know that the littlest things, over time, can fester into much bigger problems. It’s also true that it’s easy enough to lose perspective when you’re inside a world of your own making for quite some time.

Those are both reasons that people seek out therapists, but listen….these 13 reasons for making appointments are still seriously petty.

13. Some things you can’t forget.

My mum still talks about the Christmas where my dad didn’t help her peel and prepare a bag of sprouts.

They were divorced and he’s dead and it still comes up from time to time.

12. How is this a thing people care about?

My ex-coworker once told me about an argument he and his girlfriend regularly have. Apparently, when you make a sandwich, some people care about whether the bread remains facing the same way it did in the original loaf or if one piece gets turned around relative to the other.

I don’t just mean top of the loaf remains facing the same way, I mean the cut sides of the slices remain facing the slice they were originally cut from. I told my fiance about this ridiculousness and he said “no, I see her point” and now I have to regularly have conservations about which way bread is facing.

11. To be fair, this might mean he’s a pod person.

There was a couple who fought because the husband stopped liking cheese for some reason

10. Why never bring it up?

My ex wife suggested we go to marriage counseling because she felt we needed to work on communication. I was slightly confused since we never really fought about anything and I didn’t know that much was amiss.

So I went with her and we had several sessions and it basically turned into just parenting classes since we didn’t seem to have any issues to work on.

Then one day she tells me she’s bi and is going to go sleep with a married couple she’s been friends with for a week because that’s the only thing that’s going to make her happy.

Would have been nice to know in marriage counseling that that was the real issue she was wanting to work on since I had no idea she was struggling with her sexuality. Guess there really was a communication issue.

9. “But not usually.”

There is no “stupid” reason to seek out counseling. What may seem trivial to one person can completely consume another person. What may seem insignificant to you might just be the last straw for a client. It’s our job to figure out why that “stupid” reason caused them to land in your care.

Sometimes it’s a lot of minor things that built up because they don’t have any good coping mechanisms. Sometimes it’s a major problem that they don’t want to talk about, so they start small. Sometimes it’s something they don’t even realise is a problem, but is causing them distress regardless.

There’s a lot of reasons why clients might present you with something that seems completely insignificant, but the fact is, they are in front of you, paying you money, so that you can help them improve their mental health. 99% of the time, that means that they believe getting help is worth their time and money.

He then proceeded to tell us a story about a woman who believed that Ashton Kutcher was her baby’s daddy, and she wanted a psychiatric professional to verify her mental health so she could file for child support and reconnect with him. As far as he could tell, she had never met Ashton Kutcher, or even seen him in person. So like. Sometimes people are crazy. But not usually.

8. Dodged a bullet there.

Because naps.

On weekends, I take a nap in the afternoon. Boyfriend was not ok with that and insisted I stop.

I’ll never forget the surreal feeling of his roommates watching me leave his house while he yelled at me.

7. That is a legit reason for counseling. And also divorce.

Vaccinate their child.

Dad say Go, mom says no.

6. Wow. Cold.

Nothing is really stupid in making the decision to come in for a couples session.

But the most startling session I’ve had was when the couple had barely sat down and one of them informed the other that the relationship was over, turned to me and said “thank you for supporting (partner) through this” and left the office.

5. Sh%t happens.

Not me but my buddy’s wife demanded counseling after he refused to “fix” his habit of leaving the seat up.

Apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back was he didn’t realize his poo ‘came back up’ and she fell into the toilet on his old, waterlogged shit.

4. That is definitely bizarre.

I had a woman come in for couples counseling. Over the phone she reported that her boyfriend (with the same last name- very confusing) was distant and was refusing to listening. When the session started it was just her that showed up. She went on and on about how absent he was and how he refused to see the progress she had been making in her life.

It turns out the “boyfriend” was an ex who had a restraining order against her and lived halfway across the country from her. She was delusional and was receiving treatment for her mental health issues. She just could not get her thinking away from him and legally changed her last name to his because it would mean they would be together.

She figured couples counseling was the way to work our their relationship issues.

3. It’s never about the spoon.

Not a counselor. But me and my ex had the biggest fight known later as the “spoon incident”.

We were both working over 60 hours a week and we’re stressed. Nonetheless we had one night off together so I made sure that I had cleaned the house and everything before she came home. She came back while I was unpacking the dishwasher and put the last cutlery in the drawers.

When I finally put a spoon in the drawer she said “that’s not where it’s supposed to go”. I asked her whether this is the way you want to treat me after I’ve cleaned the house and stuff? Never been so pissed at a GF, while it was actually fairly meaningless.

2. That poor therapist.

My ex made an appt for us when he got his side girl pregnant.

I was 26 and in grad school, lonely, stressed, and horribly gaslit, and went along.

At the time the therapist would say “if he hasn’t changed by now he’s not going to…..usually I’m trying to keep people together but I’m not sure I can now” and I would get mad.

Now I look back and things come on girl, run

1. Toxic masculinity comes from women, too.

I had a guy friend whose now ex-wife dragged him to couples counseling because he was “too nurturing” and she wanted him to be “more of a real man”. She actually complained about how when her female friends sat around complaining about their husbands, she couldn’t join in, cuz my friend wasn’t an emotionally stunted man-child.

Halfway through their first session, he told her he wanted a divorce and walked out, lol. That was right after she’d been telling the therapist about how she’d known he wasn’t an archetypal “man’s man” when they got together, but that she’d always thought she could change him into “a real man”. CHRIST, she was insufferable.

He’s now with an absolute Amazon of a woman, whom we all adore. They couldn’t possibly be more perfect for one another ?

I recommend marriage counseling to literally every couple, because if you feel like you want to go, it can’t hurt – no matter your gripe.

Why did you first make that appointment? Tell us in the comments!

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What Are Very Comforting Facts? Here’s How People Replied.

We all know social media sure can be a bit of a cesspool.

It seems like it’s REALLY bad right now, too, with the country divided and people yelling at each other about their beliefs. It’s enough to beat any person down. And frankly, I’m a bit sick of it.

That’s why we’re headed to the other end of the spectrum today, the one where positivity and wholesomeness rule the day and where we can all leave with big smiles on our faces.

What are some facts that bring you comfort?

Here’s what folks on AskReddit had to say.

1. Wow!

“During the Second World War, a Muslim man owned a mosque in Paris. After France got captured by the Germans, the french Jews were being killed.

The Muslim man offered every Jew he could find shelter in his mosque and handed out fake Muslim certificates so they wouldn’t be questioned. He saved over 400 lives.

No one’s your enemy, except for the ones you make yourself believe are.”

2. Can’t have just one.

“In Switzerland, it is Illegal to own just one guinea pig because they are very social animals.

Its considered animal abuse to only have one.”

3. Isn’t that cute!

“Elephants think you’re cute just like humans think dogs and cats are cute.”

4. Boom!

“America had a black President longer than the Confederacy existed.”

5. Perseverance.

“Malala Yousafzai, the girl who was shot in the head by the Taliban for insisting on going to school, recently completed her final exams in the University of Oxford.”

6. Saving lives!

“Swedish blood donors receive a text whenever their blood is used to help someone.”

7. Never too late.

“Van Gogh didn’t start painting until his late twenties.

JK Rowling didn’t publish Harry Potter until her late
thirties.

Samuel L Jackson didn’t get his first big role until his forties.

It’s never too late to get started.”

8. We all make mistakes.

“Don’t feel bad next time you mess something up.

Every single living thing is an accident! Evolution was just a series of some cell messing up.

It’s literally nature to make mistakes!”

9. It’s amazing.

“Every cell in our body contains molecules that were something else in the past.

Maybe they were in your parents cells, maybe in the food you ate, in the cultivated land, and so on. And you can do the same reasoning also in terms of time.

Maybe your cells contains molecules form an ancient Roman spear of a simple soldier. I find this amazing.”

10. Beautiful.

“The VAST majority of people are actually decent.

Also, we don’t need to find meaning, we literally create it ourselves.

Everything that matters matters to someone, everything that is beautiful is beautiful in the eyes of someone.

The universe does care: we’re the part doing the caring.”

11. Pure freedom.

“There is no inherent purpose in life. That seems awful, but think about it for a minute.

Any goal, any purpose, any achievement, any victory, any lesson, they are all yours. They are entirely yours. No one is handing you a half completed work of art and telling you to finish it.

When you face the end, you know that your fate and your victories belong to you and no one else.

You’re free.”

12. Miracles!

“You are a miracle.

The sperm that was first to your mother’s egg was one in a more than million!”

13. Respect the Earth.

“No matter how badly we mess up the Earth with climate change, and politics and nuclear warfare, etc., once human beings don’t exist, the Earth will repair itself, and life will carry on.”

14. Your pets love you.

“My boyfriend has a panic and anxiety disorder.

Whenever he gets a panic attack, one of our cats will sit on him and purr loudly. It always comforts him and calms him down. We always joke that she is our little support animal.

She is very attuned to our emotions and feelings. When my grandmother passed away and I was very sad, she would not leave me alone. She would just sit next to me in silence or occasionally let out a small meow to inform me she was still there.

So, as conclusion, even if you are having a s**t day, your pet still loves you.”

Now it’s your turn.

In the comments, share some wholesome facts that you think all of us will like.

Let’s see what you got!

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People Fess up to Pretty Disgusting Secrets

When someone posed this question to Reddit, I wonder if they thought they would get literal or metaphorical answers. They probably believed most people would confess morally gross secrets, but listen…there are a lot more people out there with actual nasty secrets than any of us probably realized.

Here are 14 of the best on the thread, of both sorts, so put down your snack and give them a read.

14. What a horrible way to live.

That there is someone on my Facebook who is lying about her dad passing of cancer whilst her eldest daughter (8 years old) is fighting a brain tumour.

It is all lies. Her dad is alive and well. Her daughter is completely healthy (one of the pictures she used as “proof” is her daughter lying on a hospital bed, from what I know she was just in for observation after a small fall).

She has 2 Facebook profiles. One for all her family and friends of the family. And the second one (that I’m friends with) is for old school friends, general acquaintances and anyone she dates etc.

There’s so much more lies but those 2 ones are the ones I know 100000% to be false.

13. That’s a doozy.

When I was 8, my 19 year old cousin tried to make out with me. I remember him rubbing my leg & kissing me in the kitchen whilst my mum was in the living room.

I didn’t understand what was really happening at the time, but I knew I didn’t like it. I kept nervous giggling and pushing him away. After a couple of minutes he looked disappointed and walked away. I don’t remember if he ever tried anything else.

He was killed in an accident 3 years later & I chose never to tell anybody as I didn’t want to add to my Aunt’s grief.

12. Time to get out.

I don’t trust my partner with money, I’ve been tracking how much he spends on weed per month and its a lot- i don’t know how to bring it up because we are saving for a house but 95% of everything we have so far, is from me, while he spends 500 a month on weed

11. Sisters are devious.

During lockdown my sister had a meltdown because she thought I had stolen a pair of nailclippers shaped like a foot that she owned. I told her (truthfully) that I also had a pair and that she had stolen mine. They actually WERE hers.

I found mine an hour later. Rather than tell her, I gave back hers and said “If they mean so much to you you can have them”. I then hid mine in her bag when she went back home after lockdown. She got there and found the two nail clippers and now believes that she was wrong and that the nail clippers she had a meltdown over were actually mine.

10. All of that is extremely gross.

A buddy of mine had a wife that used to be a stripper. She ended up leaving him for one of her patrons. Before she left him, she was impregnated by him (my buddy). She ended up marrying the guy she left him for and the newish dad is basically raising his kid.

I’m still friends with both of them on Facebook since I was cool with both of them and her son definitely looks like him. This was maybe 7-8 years ago. I just shut the fuck up about the whole situation.

9. I thought everyone did this.

I used to lie. Like a lot. I used to make up stories to tell people, just for the sake of it. I don’t do it anymore, although this leads me to telling the same stories over and over

8. I don’t know whether to be grossed out or give her a (distanced) high five.

My senior prom was in 2010. After prom I had a party at my parents cabin just outside of town. Later that night I found my boyfriend having sex in my car with my volleyball co-captain.

I didn’t confront them but instead went to his car (which was only 2 or 3 weeks old) and took a shit in the passenger seat. I wiped with some napkins he had in the glove box and put them in his cup holders. I went back inside and kept drinking.

7. This is so weird.

My one friend has no idea that I’ve known that he doesn’t have kids for months, also that I know he’s been saying this and lying to everyone for attention.

He tells a very convincing story. He goes into vague details, has a photo of the girl, says that she’s been showing him fake paperwork as proof for the children. If what he says is true would be literally extortion. Everything. Little does he know that I’ve been watching closely and also researching to find this woman. I know she isn’t real and that he’s lying and been lying this whole time for almost a year. Nothing he says makes sense and it just keeps escalating which also doesn’t make sense. I literally couldn’t help myself but investigate.

If everyone finds out that he’s been lying this whole time it will spread like wildfire. He doesn’t have many friends and the friends he did have stopped talking to him because of his compulsive lying.

6. How dare. That poor bun.

I dropped a bun in the self-service area of a convenience store. I didn’t pay for it. I just kicked it under the shelf and left.

5. That poor janitor.

In biology class we were dissecting a pigs eyeball and my hand slipped and the eyeball fell on the floor and me being extremely lazy I kicked it under a cabinet and it lay there for 2 years until someone finally found it.

4. The kids are not okay.

My friend’s kid eats PB+J with ranch.

I’m thinking of calling CPS

3. Oh man, this is ugly.

I secretly broke a 2500 euros printer, that is rare and precious, I just fixed it just enough that the second person using it got blamed for thousand almost expelled from school.

2. They’ll never figure it out.

I dropped a human brain once in prep class and put it back like nothing happened and everyone was wondering what kind of head trauma that person died of.

I was a TA (teaching assistant)to the professor for human anatomy and preparatory class. Part of my job (I studied biology and am a trained preparator turned mortician and am specialized in reconstruction) was to prepare donor bodies for upcoming classes.

I would receive specific orders from the professor, what kind of grossing tables, which body part, what kind of class etc. I am not a MD or even thought about being one. I’m just a basement dweller, that makes a living of off death and I am grateful to do so.

1. It’s a part of the school, now.

I drew a massive penis on the ceiling in my art classroom probably a metre long and its been there for years, i asked friends who have brothers and sisters there and they say its still there. Its been like 8years now

Humans are just too weird for words sometimes, right?

If you’ve got a secret like these, we’re all ears!

The post People Fess up to Pretty Disgusting Secrets appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About What Their Pets Have Conditioned Them to Do

Do we know who’s in charge here?

It’s supposed to be the humans, right?

Well, maybe you won’t think that’s necessarily the case after you read through these responses…because it seems like our pets have been training us all these years, after all.

Believe it or not, our dogs and cats condition us to do things just like we condition them.

Let’s take a look at the evidence!

Let’s see what AskReddit users had to say.

1. Do it NOW!

“Change the water in her bowl.

It can be all the way to the top and she’ll stand there staring at it until I take the bowl, dump it, and refill it with fresh water.”

2. Be very quiet.

“I open the tinfoil as quietly as possible.

My cat loves tin foil balls, and whenever he hears it he runs over and looks at it longingly (despite him having at least 24 tin foil balls already).

You can’t call him with a treat bag or tin, he only comes for the foil.”

3. Go get it!

“Check the mail every day…he’s so excited to walk to the mailbox with me it reminds me to actually do it.”

4. Let’s share.

“Before I run in the morning I usually eat a banana.

Ever since we got my sweet dog, I scarf down about two thirds of my banana and he gets the last part.

It’s become our little thing, an unspoken agreement.”

5. It must be done.

“Weaving his name into any song I can for no reason whatsoever.

Also, I was riding around with my dog the other day and motley crue’s ‘girl girls girls’ came on the radio but he likes it better if I sing it as ‘squirrels squirrels squirrels’.”

6. Good energy.

“Calm down when I start to lose my temper or get frustrated.

Whenever he hears me sigh or swear, he runs to me, rests his chin on my arm or leg and looks up at me with concern. This has made me so aware of how my energy can impact those around me and I have really gotten my anger under control since he started doing this.

He’s one of the goodest boys and I am grateful for him every day.”

7. Pick me up.

“My girlfriend’s older cat makes me pick her up to drink running tap water from her bathroom sink.

I also gotta pick her up to get on the dryer to eat, even though she can easily make the jump.”

8. Fetch!

“I have a cat that plays fetch, very insistently.

She brings me her toy mouse, and if I don’t throw it for her, she sits on my laptop keyboard.

Of course this all started when I would throw the mouse to keep her from sitting on my laptop.”

9. This is awesome.

“My mother’s dog tells her when it’s time for her evening meal. As in my mother’s evening meal. The dog knows she eats after my mother, so when she starts to get peckish she goes and bugs her to start cooking.

When I go back to visit, we’ll be sitting chatting and the dog will sidle in and become A Presence In The Room for maybe 30 seconds until my mother casually looks at her watch and says “I suppose we better think about eating”. She’s completely unaware of what triggers her decision.”

10. I hope you’re hungry.

“Yell “floor food!” whenever I’m cooking and I drop something.

Or go “cronch cronch cronch” when I’m chopping veggies, so my dog knows I have extras for her.”

11. Shuffle your feet.

“Shuffle my feet instead of walking when it’s dark so I don’t step on my small, black cat.”

12. Come on in!

“When I get up to go to the bathroom I stand in the door and wait for my elderly cat to come in before I close the door. He likes to keep me company.

If he doesnt come in right away I’ll call for him and if still nothing I’ll start walking around the house looking for him.”

13. Different barks.

“One of my dogs has several barks: a play bark and a squirrel bark and other dog things that are normal dog barks.

He also had what we call his “emergency bark”. The emergency bark is what he does when he thinks there is serious danger. It is EXTREMELY loud and makes us jump every time. He usually reserves it for things like the time I fell down the stairs and he scream barked for my husband to help, or when someone is in our front yard, or when he cornered a possum in the backyard.

However, since my husband started working from home this dog barks his emergency bark at my husband if he tries working past 4pm. My husband now has learned to stop working at about 3:50 every day to avoid that jarring sound.”

Has this happened to you with your dogs or cats (or maybe your other pets)?

If so, please tell us all about it in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks in advance!

The post People Talk About What Their Pets Have Conditioned Them to Do appeared first on UberFacts.