Funny and Accurate Tweets About Trader Joe’s Employees

I love Trader Joe’s. But, I have to admit that I don’t go nearly as much as I should. The nearest one to me isn’t very far at all, but it’s in a sort of weird complex and the parking there is a total nightmare.

I wanted to go about a week ago, but because of the pandemic they’re only letting a certain number of shoppers in at a time and when I drove by, the line to get inside was all the way around the block. Who has time for that?

Not this guy! But I’ll be back…oh, I’ll be back…

Enjoy these tweets!

1. It tends to get very emotional in there.

Meet your new therapist!

2. I’m still waiting!

This is totally on point.

3. That was a bad date…

Sorry about that…

4. I need to see them again!

And maybe get their number?

5. That’ll show him!

Everyone is in love with their cashiers.

6. They are very delightful people.

Why can’t I be like that…?

7. Yeah, that can get kind of ugly.

Well, what are you gonna do, right?

8. I need you in my life!

And I want you at my wedding!

9. It happens every time!

You know it and I know it.

10. That is HOT.

I bet you woke up covered in sweat.

11. Hahaha. You know this would happen.

The robber got bag-shamed.

12. Decisions, decisions…

This is always a tough choice.

Anyway, the point is that Trader Joe’s is pretty awesome and it has a sort of cult following not only because of the good deals and good products, but because the employees make you feel so welcome and are some of the friendliest folks around.

Have you ever had a bad experience with a Trader Joe’s employee? Especially in the check-out line? Are you a Trader Joe’s fan? Or maybe you’re even a Trader Joe’s FANATIC?

Sound off in the comments and tell us what you love so much about this one-of-a-kind grocery store.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Funny and Accurate Tweets About Trader Joe’s Employees appeared first on UberFacts.

These Things Are Just Placebos, but People Crave Them Anyway

We all use certain workarounds to make our lives easier – especially if those days and jobs revolve around interacting with other people.

It can be pretty funny to realize what in your life is complete bs, and how others may have been secretly talking you into compliance without your knowledge.

15. It makes us feel better, ok?

I’m not sure if it still does this, but at one time Google Docs intercepted the ctrl+s shortcut and briefly changes the cursor to the “thinking” cursor (hourglass, beachball, whatever your computer does).

You don’t need to save your google docs. They save every tiny change on the server. But people are used to doing it.

14. This is really amusing.

How long it takes a Coinstar to process and count coins and return a receipt. It finishes quickly.

So quickly that folks are skeptical of the accuracy.

So a fake delay (with fake counting noises) was built in giving folks more confidence in the results.

13. So it’s not REALLY random.

I saw an article about how Apple Music made random selection less random because people would often complain the same artist would follow after a song so they made an algorithm to NOT select a song made by the same artist until after some songs.

Trippy.

12. Just think how fast we COULD be working.

A lot of scans do this as well. (Not virus scans, those just take a damn long time), but sites that show you the best deals are often done in a hundred milliseconds. They’re not really doing anything that intensive, just make a few requests to autotrader or whoever, which probably only returns 15 cars, and sort by lowest price.

But people wouldn’t believe it was the best price if it came back instantly, they wouldn’t think it looked hard enough. So they make them wait a little.

11. What makes us want to hear these things?

The exaggerated sounds of some vacuum cleaners, microwaves and cars to make them sound powerful.

The loading screens on some apps that make it seem like they are doing something complex.

10. We want what we expect, I suppose.

Not sure if it’s really placebo, but there is research done on how a car door should sound when you close it.

A flat and boring “pank” sound would do just fine but a lot of people find that soft, plush and yet firm “pshrompff” sound reassures them the door is closed.

Someone please do a better job here describing car doors closing because mine sucks.

9. I just want it to go faster?

I once spoke to a guy involved in developing the first ATM cash machines.

Early trials showed that users thought that the dispensing of cash happened too fast and didn’t trust that it had correctly debited their account for the right amount.

So they inserted a wait cycle to make it appear that the machine was counting the cash. That wait cycle is still there today in most machines.

8. I love people who clean their cars.

I swear my car performs better immediately after it’s cleaned.

7. Most birds are too smart for that crap.

A scarecrow in the garden.

6. Amazon has made billions off it.

That “free shipping” is a better deal.

It generally means they’ve added the cost into the product instead, but you feel like you’ve gotten a better deal.

5. The internet has made everything permanent.

Your “Permanent Record”.

Colleges care more about what you say on Twitter and Facebook than what you said to Dakota in third grade.

The only time your permanent record means something is if you transfer within the district.

4. Comfort be damned.

Beats headphones have weights inside them to make them heavier and give the illusion of quality and sturdiness.

3. We like the bubbles!

Bubbles in cleaning products.

Early formulations of soap WAY back when used to naturally form suds. Newer formulations can clean better but don’t naturally produce suds as the bubbling was an incidental side effect that doesn’t actually have any bearing on cleaning. When these newer soaps were first introduced people complained they didn’t work because they didn’t make loads of bubbles. So the manufacturers started adding a chemical solely to generate bubbles that didn’t actually help with the cleaning at all and all the complaints stopped.

To this day the association of bubbles=clean is strong enough that they still do it. Basically all cleaning products, including toothpaste, foam up when used and almost without exception the foam is 100% marketing.

2. This is too funny to be made up.

When cake mixes first came out you only had to add water to them, but too many housewives felt like that was cheating and wouldn’t buy cake mixes.

So the cake mix companies added another step. The eggs.

It worked, apparently the cracking and adding of the eggs to the batter was enough to make it feel more “homemade” and cake mixes became extremely popular.

1. Those JERKS.

Airport Security.

Homeland Security’s own inspectors were able to get illegal items through TSA checkpoints 70% of the time.

I’m straight up impressed by most of these, y’all. Brilliant.

If you’ve got something to add to the list, I’m all ears!

The post These Things Are Just Placebos, but People Crave Them Anyway appeared first on UberFacts.

A Woman Saw Her Dog’s Face in the Sky and Others Shared Signs They’ve Received From Pets Who Passed Away

I know I’m going to cry by the time I get to the end of these photos

Losing a pet is so tough and after they’re gone, you see little things that remind you of them everywhere you look.

And then there are people who see signs that they truly believe are messages from their late pets, letting them know that they are okay now that they’ve crossed over that Rainbow Bridge.

A Twitter user shared a sad and powerful story about a sign that she saw from her dog who had passed away.

Here are some other moving posts that people shared about signs they received from their beloved pets.

1. A good boy.

Sending you love.

2. He loved you.

And that was his way of telling you.

3. I see you up there.

Watching over you.

4. Teddy bear.

This is great.

5. That’s George.

He looks like a very wise dog.

6. I don’t think he’s blind.

She could see you.

7. A shooting star.

A definite sign.

8. RIP to your baby.

Sending you a message.

9. Missing Fluffy.

A great pooch.

10. Up in the clouds.

I see you up there!

11. Crazy beard and all.

That was him.

12. In a better place.

But just saying hello.

Do you think that you’ve ever seen a sign from a pet who has passed away?

If so, please tell us the story in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post A Woman Saw Her Dog’s Face in the Sky and Others Shared Signs They’ve Received From Pets Who Passed Away appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Forgot Words and Came up With Hilarious Alternatives

Was that a brain freeze? What the hell just happened?

Do you ever have those moments where you just can’t remember what something is called? And you don’t think you’d be able to come up with the word (or words) even if your life depended on it?

It hits all of us differently, but I think we can safely say that it definitely hits all of us sometimes. I guess it’s just our brain telling us that we need to take a break. Or a nap. Or a two-week vacation.

Whatever the case, I think we can agree that it is always FUNNY when this happens.

So let’s check out some funny tweets from folks who had to come up with new words because they just couldn’t seem to summon up the right ones.

Enjoy!

1. Finger necklace.

I love the second one, too!

2. It all worked out.

Maybe it should be renamed?

3. Flat beef.

Yeah…that’s what I meant.

4. You’re gasping.

In a good way!

5. That is very cute.

And it makes sense to me.

6. Ouch! Double whammy!

Well, he was just doing his best.

7. An umbrella?

Yes! One of those!

8. I’d like a REALLY wet salad.

And by that, I mean soup.

9. You had baby brain.

We’ll forgive you.

10. At least it sounded good.

They were impressed. Maybe…

11. I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry for sleep.

Sing this to yourself in the tune of “Burnin’ for You.”

12. I like it!

And I’m gonna start using it!

Does this ever happen to you?

Where you can’t remember a pretty common word or phrase?

If so, please share your funny stories with us in the comments.

Thanks!

The post People Who Forgot Words and Came up With Hilarious Alternatives appeared first on UberFacts.

Funny Netflix Memes You Didn’t Know You Needed

Everyone loves a good meme. It’s also no secret that literally everyone is in love with Netflix, especially right now. Whether you enjoy watching old favorites, discovering new series and binging them all at once, or adore the original programming, it’s true that the streaming giant is more important to us than ever.

So it makes sense, I guess, that these 13 memes + Netflix = true love.

13. Time to change that password.

And definitely make it something petty.

12. I was not prepared for a single one of these.

What is wrong with folks?

https://google-suggest.tumblr.com/post/65536893535

11. Time to update those lesson plans.

Kids today know what’s up.

https://kingcastles.tumblr.com/post/166861046884/teacher-the-wheel-is-the-best-invention-of-all

10. Well this is goals.

She looks so cozy!

9. At least everyone would really know what they were getting into.

I think this is brilliant.

https://femestella.tumblr.com/post/166818334642

8. Both are valid.

Netflix is here for you.

7. I feel like they were like, we can’t JUST to a smiley face…

So we got this lopsided thing.

https://cherenslegs.tumblr.com/post/82335932379/do-you-think-whoever-was-designing-the-default

6. They’ve got you right where you want to.

Idk about that sweater, though. That seems optional.

5. It will just take all night.

No biggie. It’s not like you have to go anywhere tomorrow.

4. I mean if you’re not sleeping anyway.

Might as well see what’s new.

3. Neither of you ever changed out of your pajamas.

Because you’re smart.

2. Well this is hilarious.

And really going above and beyond, if you ask me.

1. When you’ve got too much time on your hands.

But also you’re brilliant.

Me and the boys watching Netflix from memes

I’m rolling, because they’re just so true!

Which one did you feel like hit just right? Tell us in the comments!

The post Funny Netflix Memes You Didn’t Know You Needed appeared first on UberFacts.

You Need These Funny Netflix Memes in Your Life

There are memes about every single thing on the planet – if it’s funny, it plays, and that’s exactly why these 14 memes about Netflix work so well.

That, and the fact that Netflix plays a bigger role in our lives than we ever could have imagined a year ago.

14. Words to live by.

Never forget.

Image Credit: Tumblr

13. Define “you.”

And “there.”

12. I can’t decide if this is a real thing.

Welcome to 2020.

https://niallshungrytardis-blog-blog.tumblr.com/post/46991541378/niknak79-netflix-sure-is-getting-specific

11. That algorithm is just a bit off.

Imagine your kid clicking on that omg.

Thanks Netflix from memes

10. It’s not easy choosing something new to watch.

Even though your friends have recommended 50 other series.

9. Not a fan of this new feature.

Can’t a person just browse anymore?

8. I hope Netflix takes this feedback.

We could all use these.

7. We have become our avatars.

I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Netflix & Chill : ) from dankmemes

6. And you can’t deny how ugly things have gotten.

At least we’re all in this together.

5. Every single time.

They do it to you, too.

https://funnyjoke.tumblr.com/post/186345177563

4. Yes yes you’re hilarious.

Now give me the remote.

3. Why is this so real, though?

Such desperation!

2. Tomorrow you’ll have forgotten it existed.

No one will notice.

1. And you thought Netflix wasn’t judging you.

Someone there is definitely judging you.

I’m howling at these, y’all. Who would have thought?

I don’t even watch Netflix! What is Netflix? I don’t know!

Which one of these have you already shared with your friends? Tell us in the comments!

The post You Need These Funny Netflix Memes in Your Life appeared first on UberFacts.

Hilarious Tweets From Parents Who Just Needed to Vent a Little Bit

This sure is a tough time, isn’t it, moms and dads?

You’re stuck at home with the kids. Remote learning is taking up all of your time. The young ones can’t see their friends, so it’s up to you to keep them entertained…and the list goes on and on…

So that’s why it’s important to take to Twitter sometimes so you can vent about your kids or at least provide your fellow parents with some comedy relief…and I have a feeling that they’re really glad it’s not happening ot them…

Enjoy these funny parenting tweets while you have a few minutes of alone time!

1. This is very smart.

I gotta say, I’m impressed.

2. But those are the only things.

Otherwise, I’d be doing it.

3. Take it or leave it.

What do you want from me?

4. Maybe next week?

Don’t ask me that again!

5. No, don’t worry about it?

Just let it go.

6. Let’s go back to your original question.

In other words, let’s talk about death.

7. Thank you for that.

Very sanitary, don’t you think?

8. Might be time for therapy.

There’s a lot going on here…

9. That IS really cute!

How adorable is this kid?!?!

10. Life not imitating art.

That’s too bad.

11. I didn’t do anything…

You’ll get yours soon enough…

12. You did what you had to do.

 

Okay, parents, now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, please tell us how it’s going in your household with your kids right now.

We can’t wait to hear from all of you out there!

The post Hilarious Tweets From Parents Who Just Needed to Vent a Little Bit appeared first on UberFacts.